I Am Not Your Broom
A/N: Lyrics are from the song by They Might Be Giants. I just thought it fits Harry and Snape's relationship so well ^_^
"Now broom, you must now sweep for me. The dust, it fills my room."
Harry sat up, rubbing the drowsiness from his eyes, an effect of spending far too much time with Snape that afternoon. He always loved it when he had to stay after in potions class - the other students would have envied him had they known what his detentions involved. "Severus, my darling, will you clean up this mess?" he asked sweetly, tracing a finger along his lover's strong jawline as he sat up on the rather filthy desk. Someday, he swore he would get Snape to magic up a bed or something for the classroom - it was getting uncomfortable.
"No John, I will not sweep for you, for I am not your broom."
Snape glared up at him through beady dark eyes. "Mister Potter," he hissed pointedly, "just because we have made sweet nookie does not mean that I am required to become your maid."
"What nonsense are you speaking, broom? My words you must obey."
Harry was taken aback only for a moment. "I have a Quidditch match in an hour, Severus," he reminded his teacher. Realizing he must sound a bit harsh, he instead pouted. "Please? You know I depend on you..."
"Another life awaits me and I'm leaving you today."
"You see, my boy," Snape stated, sitting up so that he had the advantage of height, "this is precisely what I'm talking about."
"What?" Harry asked, confused.
"I am not your broom! I am not your broom!
I've had enough -- I'm throwing off my chains of servitude!
"Always with the quickies before scurrying off to some Quidditch match!" Snape exclaimed. "I believe you like that broom better!"
"...To be fair, it does vibrate," Harry admitted. (He knew he shouldn't have pointed Severus to those reviews on amazon.com - the poor professor had been feeling inadequate ever since.)
I am not your broom! I am not your broom!
No longer must I sweep for you, for I am not your broom."
"Then from now on, you can ride it instead of me!" Taking up his robes, Snape vanished into the hallway in a flutter of cloth and anger.
Harry stared after him in astonishment. After a moment, he shrugged; Snape was a bit moody at times. And besides, he did have a nice, supportive, vibrating broom without moodswings waiting for him.