The Z-Team
Copyright 2002
By Elbereth in April and Kazam
Disclaimer: We don't own Dragonball Z, The A-Team, or Sports Illustrated.
The Z-Team:
Vegeta = B.A. Baracus
Goku = Howling Mad Murdock
Yamcha = "Face" Templeton Peck
Piccolo = Col. John Hannibal Smith
_______ ________ ___________
Theme Song Plays.
On the Cartoon Network, a crack commando martial arts unit was sentenced for purging by Frieza for a crime they did commit (insubordination and bad haircuts). These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Japanese underground. Today, still wanted by Frieza, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire. . . The Z-Team.
First scene:
We open to see the Kame-House. Krillin and his blue-haired girlfriend, Marron, are walking by the beach. Master Roshi is sitting outside on a lawnchair reading the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. He is drinking a blue drink that despite its color looks suspiciously like beer.
They look up to see four people flying towards the island. The four beings land. It is Androids 16, 17, 18, and 19.
Android #17 walks up to Master Roshi. "Have you considered Dr. Gero's offer?"
Roshi jumps up to face #17. "I'm not selling Kame-House. Go tell Dr. Gero to leave us alone!"
#17 scowls. "Wrong answer, old man."
Roshi turns to look at the other androids. "Woah! Who's the dame? Is she available?"
#18 takes offense at this. "You pervert!" She runs over and punches Roshi in the stomach.
Krillin and Marron come running over. "Leave him alone!"
She hits Krillin, who falls over. Marron runs in circles, screaming.
#18 grabs Roshi's magazine. "This is just a warning, old man. Your last one." She throws the swimsuit issue in the air, then blasts it. "You'd better sell!"
Master Roshi stares in horror as the tattered remains of the Sports Illustrated float to the ground. "How could you? I had Miss June's phone number in that book!"
#16 and #19 come over. "You know we should probably break a window or something."
"Why?"
#19 says in his annoying voice, "We're thugs. We're supposed to."
#18 and #17 shrug. #17 turns and breaks a window. Inside, Puar and Oolong cower in fear.
The androids fly off.
________ ________ _________
New scene:
We see Piccolo, disguised as Kami, wearing a fake white beard. He seems to be the proprietor of a Chinese laundry. He is washing turbans.
Yamcha is his assistant. "That's the fifth drycleaning machine we've broken today," Piccolo tells him. "I keep saying, take the weights out first. How are we going to uphold a credible disguise if. . ."
The bell on the door rings. A woman enters. Yamcha ogles her. She looks around nervously, then asks for Mr. Kami Li.
"Yes. Can I help you?"
"I'm trying to find the Z-Team."
"Who?"
"First I went to an all-you-can-eat buffet, then a martial arts exhibition, now a Chinese laundry. I don't understand!"
"We had to make sure you weren't working for Frieza," Piccolo explains.
Marron stares. "You mean. . ."
Piccolo removes his fake beard. Marron is shocked. "That's right. I'm Piccolo Kami Hannibal Nail Smith. You've just hired the Z-Team."
_______ ________ ________
They all go outside. V. A. is waiting in the van, in the driver's seat. He is wearing a bunch of gold jewelry. Piccolo sits next to him.
"This weight training of yours is a joke," he rasps, scowling.
"Maybe you should try silver next time. Besides, we can't carry that 300 times Earth gravity machine everywhere we go."
"Where to?" Yamcha asks from the back.
"We go to break Goku out."
______ _______ _________
The van pulls up in front of Goku's house. "Go on, Yamcha," Piccolo orders.
"No! Why do I have to do it? Chi-Chi scares me!"
"I'll do it," V. A. smirks.
"No!" The other two yell at once.
"Last time you blew the house up," Piccolo complains. "Yamcha, go!"
Yamcha knocks on the door. He is wearing a white lab coat. Chi-Chi answers the door.
"We have to take Goku for medical testing. For his heart condition," Yamcha says.
Chi-Chi frowns, hefting her frying pan. "Yamcha, I know that's you! You want to take my husband on another one of your stupid training trips! Well I won't have it! He needs to be at home, supporting his family, not following that dangerous Piccolo around on his hare-brained, so-called rescue missions! And don't even get me started on that villainous V. A.! Goku has to be a good example for Gohan or he'll grow up to be a disturbed martial artist instead of studying all day to get into the college of his choice!" She hits Yamcha with the frying pan a few times.
Meanwhile, at the back door:
"Hurry, Goku, while she's distracted! We've got a job."
Goku sneaks out the back door, following Piccolo to the van.
Goku and Piccolo get into the van. "Hiya, V. A.!" Goku exclaims enthusiastically.
"Don't talk to me, you crazy baka!"
Yamcha runs for his life from Chi-Chi and jumps into the van, which immediately speeds away. Chi-Chi throws her frying pan after them. They hear a clang, but escape.
"My van!" V. A. howls. "I bet she dented it!"
"Why do we even have this van?" Yamcha comments. "We can all fly."
Everyone sweatdrops.
________ _______ _______
The van is at the edge of the mainland. They can't, of course, drive over the ocean. They stare at it.
"I guess we'll have to get Goku to fly us to the island in our encapsulated helicopter," Piccolo decides.
V. A. jumps up from where they are sitting in the grass. "What? Never! I'm not getting in a helicopter with that crazy baka! He can't fly! He doesn't even have a driver's license! Let's take a boat."
"Why don't we just fly ourselves?" Yamcha asks again.
The others ignore him, except for Marron. He puts his arm around her. "Hey, babe."
"I can fly, V. A.!" Goku says, grinning. "Gohan was showing me how with a book! '10 Easy Steps to Flying Without Crashing'!"
"Argh!" V. A. screams.
"It's all right, V. A.," Piccolo says, patting him on the back consolingly. "We'll get a boat. Here, while I make the arrangements, have some nice, refreshing milk."
V. A. looks at him suspiciously, then nods and takes the milk. He drinks it and promptly falls over, as it is drugged.
Piccolo and Goku give each other thumbs-up signs. "Cool!" Goku crows. "I love flying!"
___________ _________ __________
Review, review!!
Copyright 2002
By Elbereth in April and Kazam
Disclaimer: We don't own Dragonball Z, The A-Team, or Sports Illustrated.
The Z-Team:
Vegeta = B.A. Baracus
Goku = Howling Mad Murdock
Yamcha = "Face" Templeton Peck
Piccolo = Col. John Hannibal Smith
_______ ________ ___________
Theme Song Plays.
On the Cartoon Network, a crack commando martial arts unit was sentenced for purging by Frieza for a crime they did commit (insubordination and bad haircuts). These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Japanese underground. Today, still wanted by Frieza, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire. . . The Z-Team.
First scene:
We open to see the Kame-House. Krillin and his blue-haired girlfriend, Marron, are walking by the beach. Master Roshi is sitting outside on a lawnchair reading the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. He is drinking a blue drink that despite its color looks suspiciously like beer.
They look up to see four people flying towards the island. The four beings land. It is Androids 16, 17, 18, and 19.
Android #17 walks up to Master Roshi. "Have you considered Dr. Gero's offer?"
Roshi jumps up to face #17. "I'm not selling Kame-House. Go tell Dr. Gero to leave us alone!"
#17 scowls. "Wrong answer, old man."
Roshi turns to look at the other androids. "Woah! Who's the dame? Is she available?"
#18 takes offense at this. "You pervert!" She runs over and punches Roshi in the stomach.
Krillin and Marron come running over. "Leave him alone!"
She hits Krillin, who falls over. Marron runs in circles, screaming.
#18 grabs Roshi's magazine. "This is just a warning, old man. Your last one." She throws the swimsuit issue in the air, then blasts it. "You'd better sell!"
Master Roshi stares in horror as the tattered remains of the Sports Illustrated float to the ground. "How could you? I had Miss June's phone number in that book!"
#16 and #19 come over. "You know we should probably break a window or something."
"Why?"
#19 says in his annoying voice, "We're thugs. We're supposed to."
#18 and #17 shrug. #17 turns and breaks a window. Inside, Puar and Oolong cower in fear.
The androids fly off.
________ ________ _________
New scene:
We see Piccolo, disguised as Kami, wearing a fake white beard. He seems to be the proprietor of a Chinese laundry. He is washing turbans.
Yamcha is his assistant. "That's the fifth drycleaning machine we've broken today," Piccolo tells him. "I keep saying, take the weights out first. How are we going to uphold a credible disguise if. . ."
The bell on the door rings. A woman enters. Yamcha ogles her. She looks around nervously, then asks for Mr. Kami Li.
"Yes. Can I help you?"
"I'm trying to find the Z-Team."
"Who?"
"First I went to an all-you-can-eat buffet, then a martial arts exhibition, now a Chinese laundry. I don't understand!"
"We had to make sure you weren't working for Frieza," Piccolo explains.
Marron stares. "You mean. . ."
Piccolo removes his fake beard. Marron is shocked. "That's right. I'm Piccolo Kami Hannibal Nail Smith. You've just hired the Z-Team."
_______ ________ ________
They all go outside. V. A. is waiting in the van, in the driver's seat. He is wearing a bunch of gold jewelry. Piccolo sits next to him.
"This weight training of yours is a joke," he rasps, scowling.
"Maybe you should try silver next time. Besides, we can't carry that 300 times Earth gravity machine everywhere we go."
"Where to?" Yamcha asks from the back.
"We go to break Goku out."
______ _______ _________
The van pulls up in front of Goku's house. "Go on, Yamcha," Piccolo orders.
"No! Why do I have to do it? Chi-Chi scares me!"
"I'll do it," V. A. smirks.
"No!" The other two yell at once.
"Last time you blew the house up," Piccolo complains. "Yamcha, go!"
Yamcha knocks on the door. He is wearing a white lab coat. Chi-Chi answers the door.
"We have to take Goku for medical testing. For his heart condition," Yamcha says.
Chi-Chi frowns, hefting her frying pan. "Yamcha, I know that's you! You want to take my husband on another one of your stupid training trips! Well I won't have it! He needs to be at home, supporting his family, not following that dangerous Piccolo around on his hare-brained, so-called rescue missions! And don't even get me started on that villainous V. A.! Goku has to be a good example for Gohan or he'll grow up to be a disturbed martial artist instead of studying all day to get into the college of his choice!" She hits Yamcha with the frying pan a few times.
Meanwhile, at the back door:
"Hurry, Goku, while she's distracted! We've got a job."
Goku sneaks out the back door, following Piccolo to the van.
Goku and Piccolo get into the van. "Hiya, V. A.!" Goku exclaims enthusiastically.
"Don't talk to me, you crazy baka!"
Yamcha runs for his life from Chi-Chi and jumps into the van, which immediately speeds away. Chi-Chi throws her frying pan after them. They hear a clang, but escape.
"My van!" V. A. howls. "I bet she dented it!"
"Why do we even have this van?" Yamcha comments. "We can all fly."
Everyone sweatdrops.
________ _______ _______
The van is at the edge of the mainland. They can't, of course, drive over the ocean. They stare at it.
"I guess we'll have to get Goku to fly us to the island in our encapsulated helicopter," Piccolo decides.
V. A. jumps up from where they are sitting in the grass. "What? Never! I'm not getting in a helicopter with that crazy baka! He can't fly! He doesn't even have a driver's license! Let's take a boat."
"Why don't we just fly ourselves?" Yamcha asks again.
The others ignore him, except for Marron. He puts his arm around her. "Hey, babe."
"I can fly, V. A.!" Goku says, grinning. "Gohan was showing me how with a book! '10 Easy Steps to Flying Without Crashing'!"
"Argh!" V. A. screams.
"It's all right, V. A.," Piccolo says, patting him on the back consolingly. "We'll get a boat. Here, while I make the arrangements, have some nice, refreshing milk."
V. A. looks at him suspiciously, then nods and takes the milk. He drinks it and promptly falls over, as it is drugged.
Piccolo and Goku give each other thumbs-up signs. "Cool!" Goku crows. "I love flying!"
___________ _________ __________
Review, review!!