pureVENOM: Hey, wazzup, peoplez?? Mwa hah. I SHOULD be working on my HORRIBLE History project right now, but I dun wanna!! I wanna type!!
Well, I'm jes sorta continuing offa the last chapter. Yepperz!! It's still Fausta's first day of Human skool!
Disclaimer's in the first chapter!! Ooh, my dad ordered some JV books! Yaaaay!!! OMG, I can't wait to see them!!!
Hey, I may be being pretty mean to Zim, but I still love him best. I usually am extremely nice to my fave characters or extremely evil to them in my fics. It's fun picking on poor, lil', ol' Zimmy!!
Latin words are roughly translated in parenthesis close by. Hey, I'm not the best, so plz dun kill me if I make some grammmatical errors!!
REVIEWZ PLZ!!!
---------------
Chapter Two: DOOMy Talks and Tests
---------------
"WHY do you have all the same classes as me and Zim...?" Dib questioned, raising an onyx brow.
"Um... Coincidence??" was Fausta's reply. The Wing Invader was doodling a few monsters of sorts on her notebook and watching the Latin teacher, Ms. Bryte as she explained Latiny stuff on the board.
Zim snorted and shifted his casted arm slightly. Dib rolled his eyes.
"Hey, what's wrong with my answer??" she continued, with false hurt. "Aren't YOU two in the same classes coincidentally???"
"Well, yes-- Hey!! But that's not the point!" Dib exclaimed.
"Whatever." Fausta frowned, then looked at the board shortly with disinterest. "It's not like it's a crime to be in your classes, right??"
"But it IS a crime to being trying to conquer Earth!!" Dib retorted.
"Hah! Mortal fool!" Fausta nearly leapt from her seat. "That's where you're wrong! It says nothing of planetary invasions ANYWHERE in the Human ...law-booky...thingies."
Dib silenced. "Oh yeah. ... Well it SHOULD, then!"
"As if any invader would care..." Fausta scoffed. "Say, we're all soffmores, correct, Human mortal?"
Dib nodded and jotted down some Latin-based notes.
"Then why do you two take Geometry? Should you be in Algebra 2 Trig, or something higher, judging from your knowledge of mathemathics and science?" the Wing Invader pondered. The Human and Irken mortals may be the enemies, but it was nice having at least semi-intelligent people to talk to.
The Human nodded. "Yeah, but somehow, all the Mathy teachers suddenly all disappeared." He shrugged and brushed back his jet-black scythe of hair. "So, everyone's stuck with Mr. Bitters..." Dib shuddered.
Fausta raised an eyebrow. "Interesting..."
There was a sudden negative aura in the room.
Ms. Bryte was scowling darkly upon Dib and Fausta. Zim snickered to himself, acknowledging their in-trouble-ness.
"Tacete, pueri! O me miseram! Quid sum apud vos facere?" (Be quiet, boys! O poor me! What am I to do with you?) the instructor of dead languages stated sternly.
"Um....." Dib responded meekly, not understanding half of what she'd just said.
"Nescio, Magistra Bryte. Sed... puella sum." (I don't know, teacher Bryte. But... I am a girl.) Fausta responded curtly bowing her head and saluting.
"Minime, Fausta." (No, Fausta.) Bryte pointed at Fausta's incorrect files. "PUER es. Eheu! Fatue." (You are a BOY. Alas! Stupid.)
Fausta scowled, and decided that she'd better get used to being called a boy. What was wrong with these idiotic mortal instructors?
"Hey, is it just me, or do you ALREADY know Latin??" Dib hissed lowly.
Fausta smirked. "All Invaders of the Wings know it..." She turned to her teacher. "Ahem! I hope our thoughtless jabbering didn't bother you, Instructor Bryte?"
Bryte just looked confused, sighed and headed back to the board. "Tacete et audite ad me, tu scelesti servi!" (Be quiet and listen to me, you wicked slaves!) she grumbled, and scribbled some stuff about neuter nouns onto the chalk board while correcting Melvin's poor Latiny grammar.
"And what's with you and Zim, and saluting all the time?" Dib asked quietly.
"Hmph. Weak Human fool," Fausta responded with contempt. "We're brought up in a strict military-based world, unlike YOUR pathetic peoples. Heh. You despicable Humans couldn't fight off a blind, skinned moose that had just been attacked by flying laser weasels."
What is it with skinned moose? And the laser weasels? Dib wondered to himself. He decided not to reply to Fausta's little remark.
"Hm. Ms. Bryte is much ....nicer than Mr. Bitters, huh?" Fausta asked thoughtlessly, stretching her arms. "She hasn't tortured or harmed a single student."
Dib and Zim shrugged as a short scream pierced the air.
Ms. Bryte's right eye was twitching violently, and Melvin was lying unconscious on the ground, a huge Latin dictionary slowly crushing his head.
"Jinxed it," Dib said as he jotted down some notes.
The bell to fourth period lunch decided then, to ring. It was supposed to have rung twelve minutes ago, but the bell-monitor just now remembered to ring it. Wow.
Everyone except the three rivals fled, screaming, from the classroom. Zim was moving as fast as he could, but wasn't all that fast, since he was pretty beat up.
Fausta was taking her time packing up.
Dib was trying to finish up his worksheets. He couldn't afford to blow off any more of this quarter's work, or it might drop. And he knew his dad didn't accept anything lower than an "A-"...
Zim snickered a little at Dib as he left. It was a rather uneventful period for him, and he liked it this way.
Fausta left soon after the Irken, humming her favorite song, that she had learned from GIR a short while ago, the Doom Song. "Better hurry, mortal! Don't want to miss your lunch, right? Hmph. Miserable Humans. Can't even function properly without their disgusting nutrition. Hey Zim, what do you think..."
The voices faded away as they walked out of the room.
Ms. Bryte glowered from the front of the cube-shaped classroom. "I, fatue. Tempus est ire." (Go, stupid. It is time to go.) She pointed to the open doorway. It led out to a frigid, swirling darkness. ...Well, it led to the hallway to the cafeteria, anyway.
Dib started writing faster.
...
Dib is seen flying through the classroom roof, screaming. He lands in a tub of semi-dead frog legs, sitting in the center of the cafeteria. Slimy water stuff splashed about.
"WHAT!? Human mortal! You DARE to cut, and then SPLASH me with that ...UGH!... TWITCHING HUMAN-FROG-appendage FILTH!?!?!?"
Fausta had been next in line to purchase lunch. A shuddering pair of webbed feet sat atop her head, and many others convulsed on the ground, and all around Dib.
He leapt out of the giant bucket of "food", disgusted.
"You know, you're more like Zim than I expected." The Human frowned and pulled a frog leg from his shoulder and tossed it behind the eye-twitching Wing.
Zim dodged the frog-filth-slime-stuff. "Hey, watch where you're--" He was cut off with a sudden barrage of bologna slices from Dib.
He immediately spat out some meat, and began screaming and twitching violently.
"AGH! THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE PAIN!! HUMAN-FILTH-MEAT!! THE MEATS OF EVIL!!!!" The Irken trashed about on the ground some more.
"Amazing. Irkens are allergic to Human bologna?" Fausta watched with high interest.
"Yes, and I'm wondering if you are too!" Dib replied with an evil tone.
"Hm...?" Fausta looked at her Human rival, and suddenly her malicious brain registered what he was saying. "... Oh, don't you DARE, mortal. I'm not allergic to it, but if you touch me with that filth, I'll tie that stupid scythe of hair of yours around your sight-less nose and hang you from the skool flag like a butchered cow--"
Dib threw five slices of HORRIBLE meats of evil bologna at her face.
It slid and fell to the ground, with a sickening splat, leaving a slimy trail of EVIL across Fausta's face.
"AGH! THE HORRIBLE STENCH!!" She clutched her face. "DOOMY STINK-MEATS!!!"
"Ahahahaha--!!!" Dib started.
He was shut up with a fistload of the day's special, Fresh Frog Legs, being cramming into his mouth.
"I told you I wasn't allergic to it. I'll have to destroy you extra slowly once Earth is mine and I receive my Wing Invader Credits." Fausta stomped away, food-less, to the least inhabited table. There was only one other person there.
Zim shuddered slightly as he rose to his feet, and accepted a ladle full of dollar-costing Human slop. He headed after Fausta, not wanting to be in a table crowded full of DISGUSTING worm-monkeys. At least there was only ONE Human worm-baby, and one schizoid Wing-beast here.
Dib, coughed out the shivering frog-pieces, and bought a dollar worth of food-filth as well, and headed over to where his sister sat. Which, unfortunately (for everyone) was also where his two enemies sat.
"Gaz! Don't you even CARE that two aliens that want to control Earth are sitting here!?!" Dib cried out, exasperated.
"I'm NOT an alien!!" Fausta reminded indignantly.
"Dib... Be quiet. And move over. You're in my light." Gaz continued to rapidly press the square and triangle buttons on her new GameSlaveMasterIV.
Those horrible, goat-sucking chupachabra-wannabe, blood-pigs HAD to be DESTROYED!!
Dib looked at the small glass of water, he held in his hand.
Zim noticed it, but he wasn't worried since he had pasted himself up this morning pretty well. He also figured that it wasn't for him. He smirked maliciously. He wondered how a Wing-beast would take to water.
Dib walked over to a frowning Fausta, and poured it over her head. He hoped he didn't just walk into his own doomy grave.
The Wing just looked extremely shocked and bewildered as the water dripped from her soaked hair. She wiped at her head furiously.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!?"
She snatched the glass from the Human and hurled it at him.
The Human, with his INCREDIBLE speed and agility managed to dodge it and slink back to his little sister.
The glass shattered on some unfortunate student's head nearby. Um... Let's say Spoo.
"WOW! It's a crystally sign from above!! I am allergic to animals no more!!" he cried.
"Dib..." Gaz started slowly. "Stop playing with your friends near me, and get away..."
Dib inched a bit away from his sister, not wanting to invoke her terrible wrath.
Zim prodded at a pile of grayish, pulpy mass, that the Humans called "mashed potatoes". He'd seen mold growing on his dead flying laser weasels that looked a lot like this.
The Irken cringed at this thought, then tossed away the contaminated spork of filthy-DOOM.
"Yeah, Dib mortal. Obey your little sister. OBEY HER!" Fausta cried, watching the freshmint girl play the almighty video game.
Gaz scowled, as she felt the unwanted pair of eyes on her GameSlaveMasterIV. "If you make me lose this life, you weirdo, I will make you wish you had never been created."
"Wait. How did YOU know I was CREATED, girl!?" Fausta stood up, surprised.
"Huh? Lucky guess. ...I suppose." Gaz groaned as she received a critical hit.
"Whatever..." Fausta sat back down and watched the Dib-sister play. Her video game filled mind (thanks to Kil's obsessions) seemed to take control.
"NO! Foolish Human girl!! You take the LEFT! IT'S ALWAYS THE LEFT!!! SEE!?! NOW ULTRA-PIGGULON'S USING HIS INSTANT DEATH MOVE!!! ... .....Aw, you were just lucky."
"Was not! That was pure SKILL!!" Gaz retorted heatedly, pausing the game. NO ONE said stuff about her unmatched gaming skill.
Fausta snorted. "More like pure luck."
"Skill!!"
"Luck."
"SKILL!"
"LUCK!"
Eye twitch. "SKILL!!!!"
"IT WAS LUUUUUCK, MORTAL-FOOL!!! CAN YOU NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SKILL AND LUCK!?!?"
"I CAN, AND IT WAS JUST LUCK!!"
"IT WAS SHEER SKILL, HUMAN GIRL!!! HAVE YOU THE BRAIN-WORMS!?!?"
"Alright." Gaz unpaused and continued playing.
Fausta suddenly realized what had just happened. "ARGH!"
Zim and Dib cackled gleefully, seeing all this.
A glare from the Wing Invader silenced them.
"Uh... So..." Zim started, hoping to change the subject. "What do you know about brain-worms??"
"Enough. And more than you, Irken," the Wing replied, brushing imaginary dust from the shoulders of her trenchcoat.
"Hah! You wish, Wing-beast!" the Irken began, but then took a closer look at her coat. "What material is that coat made of, flappy schizoid?"
"Blorchen Slaughtering Rat People hide. Isn't it lovely?" Fausta gave an evil smile. "I got it a few years ago."
"Rat people??" Dib thought back to the idiotic rat people at the City Center Mall. "Rat people aren't big enough to make a coat out of."
"That's what they WANT you to THINK!!" Fausta exclaimed.
"What WHO wants me to think...?" Dib questioned, raising a brow.
"Oh wait. Wrong line. Anyway, these rats were pretty big," the Wing corrected herself.
"Too big," the Irken added.
"Oh yeah." Fausta nodded.
"I hear they can grow to ten feet tall."
"I heard twelve, Irken."
".... But they're RATS, right!? C'mon! We're all scientists, here! They couldn't possibly be rats!" Dib continued, unfazed by the two non-Human's conversation.
"They're rats, Dib," Fausta stated in a bothered tone.
"Yes. Giant Blorchen slaughtering rat peoples from BEYOND!!"
"I don't get it! Why are creatures from different galaxies named like Earth creatures!? It's illogical!!" Dib continued. "Giant slaughtering rats from planet Blorch, moose from wormholes, brain-worms, worm-monkeys, worm-babies!!! What's WITH these WORMS!?!?"
Zim and Fausta blinked at each other and exchanged confused and creeped out looks.
"Coincidence?" Zim and Fausta replied synched.
"Everything is coincidence with you two!" Dib shouted, annoyed. "Why can't you two see!? And WHY do you two speak English!? Fausta may be from Earth, but YOU Zim, are an alien!!"
Zim snorted. "And your point is...?"
Dib let out a frustrated sigh. "Never mind. I have tests to run anyway." The Human dug around in one of his pockets and pulled out a very familiar-looking device.
Zim's left eye twitched slightly, with bad memories. He scooted a few inches away.
Fausta just looked at the circular cuff-like mechanism in Dib's hand with a slight interest. It was shiny.
"Ooh. Pretty. What is it, mortal? HAND-CUFFS?" she scoffed. "You think that this mere piece of Human-mortal contraption of junky... junk can cuff ME!? An Invader of the Wings??!? HAH!"
"These are designed to render any and all alien life-forms unconscious," Dib informed her.
Fausta shot him a hugely disbelieving look. "HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY I'M FROM EARTH!?!?!"
Dib sighed and snapped a circle of the alien sleeve-cuffs around Fausta's left wrist.
It did nothing.
"Figures, huh?" Fausta questioned, grinning.
"I guess," Dib replied, shrugging.
The alien cuffs suddenly started emitting electric-blue sparks of painful DOOM!
Fausta leapt up, slapping at it with her free hand.
"Ow! OW! Owowowow!!! OWOWOWOW!!! AHHH!!!!!!! GET IT OFF!! OFFFF~!!!!"
A few eating students turned to look at the screaming girl, then went back to eating their skooly filth.
Dib and Zim were enjoying this. "AHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Fausta's captive hand suddenly melted away to a dripping black stump, letting the cuff fall of. It then grew back as quickly as it had disappeared.
She glared very un-happily at Dib.
"Well, it didn't KO you. I guess you aren't an alien." Dib shrugged, with a scared expression.
"You know what, Dib mortal??" Fausta started.
"You're going to stab with sporks like the bolognafied moose I am deep down inside?" Dib asked meekly.
"Hey, wait, I didn't say moos--" Zim was cut off by Fausta.
"No, Human. I was pretty much asking for that. It's really my fault." The Wing Invader shook her head.
"Let me guess. You don't care anyway," Dib stated bluntly.
"Yeah.... But, that's really not the point."
"So what IS the point?? An arsenal of moldy sporks?" Dib questioned.
"Haha, no mortal..." Fausta smoothed back her staticified hair. She picked up the cuffs carefully and slapped them onto Dib's arms. "NOW! FEEL THE DOOMY PAIN!!!"
Dib cringed and waited for the DOOMY PAIN, but nothing happened. Evryone waited some more, but still, nothing happened.
Fausta scolwed darkly. "Oh, now this is just WRONG!! I'M not an alien, but it fries ME! I swear, Earthen-junk contraptions are totally biased!!"
Zim nodded. "I agree. Have you seen the MOVIES? The pathetic Huuumans ALWAYS win!!"
"I KNOW! That's SO stupid!!" Fausta exclaimed.
"How about we start a club, tLAIDCoDDaSLT??" Dib said sarcastically.
"What's that stand for, mortal?" the Wing Invader questioned.
"The Loserly Alien Invader Club of Doomy Doom and... Stuff Like That," the Human replied smugly.
"Hmph! I hope you are not continuing to imply that I am an alien, Human!" Fausta stated indignantly.
"Human-this, Mortal-that, Alien-them. I heard FIVE YEARS of this stuff. Can't we all just get along? Why is there so much HATIN' here, huh!? What's with all the TENSION and ANGER!? Just live together in peace, alright??" Gaz sighed, looking up from her game.
"...Huh??" Dib and Zim.
Fausta didn't know Gaz's personality and so said nothing and ignored her.
"Um... I mean, well.." Gaz put on her best death-glare. "All your ARGUING is getting on my NERVES... Be quiet," she groaned, annoyed.
The ending bell rang.
Everyone shuffled sadly off to their HORRIBLE fifth period class.
------------------------
pureVENOM: Well, I'm tired of skool being the setting. Next chapter, they're out, and it's the weekend!! Time for some EVIL plotting from Zim and Fausta!! Personally, I like Zim's ideas better. Fausta's just dumb. Hehe.
Well, how ya like?? Getting boring?? I'm thinking of some dumb invading plans!! Yup yup!!
REVIEW ME, PLZ!!
The Moral of Today's Story:
Alien sleeve-cuffs may fry Wing Invaders, but it doesn't mean that all Humans are bolognafied skinned-moose deep down inside!
Well, I'm jes sorta continuing offa the last chapter. Yepperz!! It's still Fausta's first day of Human skool!
Disclaimer's in the first chapter!! Ooh, my dad ordered some JV books! Yaaaay!!! OMG, I can't wait to see them!!!
Hey, I may be being pretty mean to Zim, but I still love him best. I usually am extremely nice to my fave characters or extremely evil to them in my fics. It's fun picking on poor, lil', ol' Zimmy!!
Latin words are roughly translated in parenthesis close by. Hey, I'm not the best, so plz dun kill me if I make some grammmatical errors!!
REVIEWZ PLZ!!!
---------------
Chapter Two: DOOMy Talks and Tests
---------------
"WHY do you have all the same classes as me and Zim...?" Dib questioned, raising an onyx brow.
"Um... Coincidence??" was Fausta's reply. The Wing Invader was doodling a few monsters of sorts on her notebook and watching the Latin teacher, Ms. Bryte as she explained Latiny stuff on the board.
Zim snorted and shifted his casted arm slightly. Dib rolled his eyes.
"Hey, what's wrong with my answer??" she continued, with false hurt. "Aren't YOU two in the same classes coincidentally???"
"Well, yes-- Hey!! But that's not the point!" Dib exclaimed.
"Whatever." Fausta frowned, then looked at the board shortly with disinterest. "It's not like it's a crime to be in your classes, right??"
"But it IS a crime to being trying to conquer Earth!!" Dib retorted.
"Hah! Mortal fool!" Fausta nearly leapt from her seat. "That's where you're wrong! It says nothing of planetary invasions ANYWHERE in the Human ...law-booky...thingies."
Dib silenced. "Oh yeah. ... Well it SHOULD, then!"
"As if any invader would care..." Fausta scoffed. "Say, we're all soffmores, correct, Human mortal?"
Dib nodded and jotted down some Latin-based notes.
"Then why do you two take Geometry? Should you be in Algebra 2 Trig, or something higher, judging from your knowledge of mathemathics and science?" the Wing Invader pondered. The Human and Irken mortals may be the enemies, but it was nice having at least semi-intelligent people to talk to.
The Human nodded. "Yeah, but somehow, all the Mathy teachers suddenly all disappeared." He shrugged and brushed back his jet-black scythe of hair. "So, everyone's stuck with Mr. Bitters..." Dib shuddered.
Fausta raised an eyebrow. "Interesting..."
There was a sudden negative aura in the room.
Ms. Bryte was scowling darkly upon Dib and Fausta. Zim snickered to himself, acknowledging their in-trouble-ness.
"Tacete, pueri! O me miseram! Quid sum apud vos facere?" (Be quiet, boys! O poor me! What am I to do with you?) the instructor of dead languages stated sternly.
"Um....." Dib responded meekly, not understanding half of what she'd just said.
"Nescio, Magistra Bryte. Sed... puella sum." (I don't know, teacher Bryte. But... I am a girl.) Fausta responded curtly bowing her head and saluting.
"Minime, Fausta." (No, Fausta.) Bryte pointed at Fausta's incorrect files. "PUER es. Eheu! Fatue." (You are a BOY. Alas! Stupid.)
Fausta scowled, and decided that she'd better get used to being called a boy. What was wrong with these idiotic mortal instructors?
"Hey, is it just me, or do you ALREADY know Latin??" Dib hissed lowly.
Fausta smirked. "All Invaders of the Wings know it..." She turned to her teacher. "Ahem! I hope our thoughtless jabbering didn't bother you, Instructor Bryte?"
Bryte just looked confused, sighed and headed back to the board. "Tacete et audite ad me, tu scelesti servi!" (Be quiet and listen to me, you wicked slaves!) she grumbled, and scribbled some stuff about neuter nouns onto the chalk board while correcting Melvin's poor Latiny grammar.
"And what's with you and Zim, and saluting all the time?" Dib asked quietly.
"Hmph. Weak Human fool," Fausta responded with contempt. "We're brought up in a strict military-based world, unlike YOUR pathetic peoples. Heh. You despicable Humans couldn't fight off a blind, skinned moose that had just been attacked by flying laser weasels."
What is it with skinned moose? And the laser weasels? Dib wondered to himself. He decided not to reply to Fausta's little remark.
"Hm. Ms. Bryte is much ....nicer than Mr. Bitters, huh?" Fausta asked thoughtlessly, stretching her arms. "She hasn't tortured or harmed a single student."
Dib and Zim shrugged as a short scream pierced the air.
Ms. Bryte's right eye was twitching violently, and Melvin was lying unconscious on the ground, a huge Latin dictionary slowly crushing his head.
"Jinxed it," Dib said as he jotted down some notes.
The bell to fourth period lunch decided then, to ring. It was supposed to have rung twelve minutes ago, but the bell-monitor just now remembered to ring it. Wow.
Everyone except the three rivals fled, screaming, from the classroom. Zim was moving as fast as he could, but wasn't all that fast, since he was pretty beat up.
Fausta was taking her time packing up.
Dib was trying to finish up his worksheets. He couldn't afford to blow off any more of this quarter's work, or it might drop. And he knew his dad didn't accept anything lower than an "A-"...
Zim snickered a little at Dib as he left. It was a rather uneventful period for him, and he liked it this way.
Fausta left soon after the Irken, humming her favorite song, that she had learned from GIR a short while ago, the Doom Song. "Better hurry, mortal! Don't want to miss your lunch, right? Hmph. Miserable Humans. Can't even function properly without their disgusting nutrition. Hey Zim, what do you think..."
The voices faded away as they walked out of the room.
Ms. Bryte glowered from the front of the cube-shaped classroom. "I, fatue. Tempus est ire." (Go, stupid. It is time to go.) She pointed to the open doorway. It led out to a frigid, swirling darkness. ...Well, it led to the hallway to the cafeteria, anyway.
Dib started writing faster.
...
Dib is seen flying through the classroom roof, screaming. He lands in a tub of semi-dead frog legs, sitting in the center of the cafeteria. Slimy water stuff splashed about.
"WHAT!? Human mortal! You DARE to cut, and then SPLASH me with that ...UGH!... TWITCHING HUMAN-FROG-appendage FILTH!?!?!?"
Fausta had been next in line to purchase lunch. A shuddering pair of webbed feet sat atop her head, and many others convulsed on the ground, and all around Dib.
He leapt out of the giant bucket of "food", disgusted.
"You know, you're more like Zim than I expected." The Human frowned and pulled a frog leg from his shoulder and tossed it behind the eye-twitching Wing.
Zim dodged the frog-filth-slime-stuff. "Hey, watch where you're--" He was cut off with a sudden barrage of bologna slices from Dib.
He immediately spat out some meat, and began screaming and twitching violently.
"AGH! THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE PAIN!! HUMAN-FILTH-MEAT!! THE MEATS OF EVIL!!!!" The Irken trashed about on the ground some more.
"Amazing. Irkens are allergic to Human bologna?" Fausta watched with high interest.
"Yes, and I'm wondering if you are too!" Dib replied with an evil tone.
"Hm...?" Fausta looked at her Human rival, and suddenly her malicious brain registered what he was saying. "... Oh, don't you DARE, mortal. I'm not allergic to it, but if you touch me with that filth, I'll tie that stupid scythe of hair of yours around your sight-less nose and hang you from the skool flag like a butchered cow--"
Dib threw five slices of HORRIBLE meats of evil bologna at her face.
It slid and fell to the ground, with a sickening splat, leaving a slimy trail of EVIL across Fausta's face.
"AGH! THE HORRIBLE STENCH!!" She clutched her face. "DOOMY STINK-MEATS!!!"
"Ahahahaha--!!!" Dib started.
He was shut up with a fistload of the day's special, Fresh Frog Legs, being cramming into his mouth.
"I told you I wasn't allergic to it. I'll have to destroy you extra slowly once Earth is mine and I receive my Wing Invader Credits." Fausta stomped away, food-less, to the least inhabited table. There was only one other person there.
Zim shuddered slightly as he rose to his feet, and accepted a ladle full of dollar-costing Human slop. He headed after Fausta, not wanting to be in a table crowded full of DISGUSTING worm-monkeys. At least there was only ONE Human worm-baby, and one schizoid Wing-beast here.
Dib, coughed out the shivering frog-pieces, and bought a dollar worth of food-filth as well, and headed over to where his sister sat. Which, unfortunately (for everyone) was also where his two enemies sat.
"Gaz! Don't you even CARE that two aliens that want to control Earth are sitting here!?!" Dib cried out, exasperated.
"I'm NOT an alien!!" Fausta reminded indignantly.
"Dib... Be quiet. And move over. You're in my light." Gaz continued to rapidly press the square and triangle buttons on her new GameSlaveMasterIV.
Those horrible, goat-sucking chupachabra-wannabe, blood-pigs HAD to be DESTROYED!!
Dib looked at the small glass of water, he held in his hand.
Zim noticed it, but he wasn't worried since he had pasted himself up this morning pretty well. He also figured that it wasn't for him. He smirked maliciously. He wondered how a Wing-beast would take to water.
Dib walked over to a frowning Fausta, and poured it over her head. He hoped he didn't just walk into his own doomy grave.
The Wing just looked extremely shocked and bewildered as the water dripped from her soaked hair. She wiped at her head furiously.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!?"
She snatched the glass from the Human and hurled it at him.
The Human, with his INCREDIBLE speed and agility managed to dodge it and slink back to his little sister.
The glass shattered on some unfortunate student's head nearby. Um... Let's say Spoo.
"WOW! It's a crystally sign from above!! I am allergic to animals no more!!" he cried.
"Dib..." Gaz started slowly. "Stop playing with your friends near me, and get away..."
Dib inched a bit away from his sister, not wanting to invoke her terrible wrath.
Zim prodded at a pile of grayish, pulpy mass, that the Humans called "mashed potatoes". He'd seen mold growing on his dead flying laser weasels that looked a lot like this.
The Irken cringed at this thought, then tossed away the contaminated spork of filthy-DOOM.
"Yeah, Dib mortal. Obey your little sister. OBEY HER!" Fausta cried, watching the freshmint girl play the almighty video game.
Gaz scowled, as she felt the unwanted pair of eyes on her GameSlaveMasterIV. "If you make me lose this life, you weirdo, I will make you wish you had never been created."
"Wait. How did YOU know I was CREATED, girl!?" Fausta stood up, surprised.
"Huh? Lucky guess. ...I suppose." Gaz groaned as she received a critical hit.
"Whatever..." Fausta sat back down and watched the Dib-sister play. Her video game filled mind (thanks to Kil's obsessions) seemed to take control.
"NO! Foolish Human girl!! You take the LEFT! IT'S ALWAYS THE LEFT!!! SEE!?! NOW ULTRA-PIGGULON'S USING HIS INSTANT DEATH MOVE!!! ... .....Aw, you were just lucky."
"Was not! That was pure SKILL!!" Gaz retorted heatedly, pausing the game. NO ONE said stuff about her unmatched gaming skill.
Fausta snorted. "More like pure luck."
"Skill!!"
"Luck."
"SKILL!"
"LUCK!"
Eye twitch. "SKILL!!!!"
"IT WAS LUUUUUCK, MORTAL-FOOL!!! CAN YOU NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SKILL AND LUCK!?!?"
"I CAN, AND IT WAS JUST LUCK!!"
"IT WAS SHEER SKILL, HUMAN GIRL!!! HAVE YOU THE BRAIN-WORMS!?!?"
"Alright." Gaz unpaused and continued playing.
Fausta suddenly realized what had just happened. "ARGH!"
Zim and Dib cackled gleefully, seeing all this.
A glare from the Wing Invader silenced them.
"Uh... So..." Zim started, hoping to change the subject. "What do you know about brain-worms??"
"Enough. And more than you, Irken," the Wing replied, brushing imaginary dust from the shoulders of her trenchcoat.
"Hah! You wish, Wing-beast!" the Irken began, but then took a closer look at her coat. "What material is that coat made of, flappy schizoid?"
"Blorchen Slaughtering Rat People hide. Isn't it lovely?" Fausta gave an evil smile. "I got it a few years ago."
"Rat people??" Dib thought back to the idiotic rat people at the City Center Mall. "Rat people aren't big enough to make a coat out of."
"That's what they WANT you to THINK!!" Fausta exclaimed.
"What WHO wants me to think...?" Dib questioned, raising a brow.
"Oh wait. Wrong line. Anyway, these rats were pretty big," the Wing corrected herself.
"Too big," the Irken added.
"Oh yeah." Fausta nodded.
"I hear they can grow to ten feet tall."
"I heard twelve, Irken."
".... But they're RATS, right!? C'mon! We're all scientists, here! They couldn't possibly be rats!" Dib continued, unfazed by the two non-Human's conversation.
"They're rats, Dib," Fausta stated in a bothered tone.
"Yes. Giant Blorchen slaughtering rat peoples from BEYOND!!"
"I don't get it! Why are creatures from different galaxies named like Earth creatures!? It's illogical!!" Dib continued. "Giant slaughtering rats from planet Blorch, moose from wormholes, brain-worms, worm-monkeys, worm-babies!!! What's WITH these WORMS!?!?"
Zim and Fausta blinked at each other and exchanged confused and creeped out looks.
"Coincidence?" Zim and Fausta replied synched.
"Everything is coincidence with you two!" Dib shouted, annoyed. "Why can't you two see!? And WHY do you two speak English!? Fausta may be from Earth, but YOU Zim, are an alien!!"
Zim snorted. "And your point is...?"
Dib let out a frustrated sigh. "Never mind. I have tests to run anyway." The Human dug around in one of his pockets and pulled out a very familiar-looking device.
Zim's left eye twitched slightly, with bad memories. He scooted a few inches away.
Fausta just looked at the circular cuff-like mechanism in Dib's hand with a slight interest. It was shiny.
"Ooh. Pretty. What is it, mortal? HAND-CUFFS?" she scoffed. "You think that this mere piece of Human-mortal contraption of junky... junk can cuff ME!? An Invader of the Wings??!? HAH!"
"These are designed to render any and all alien life-forms unconscious," Dib informed her.
Fausta shot him a hugely disbelieving look. "HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY I'M FROM EARTH!?!?!"
Dib sighed and snapped a circle of the alien sleeve-cuffs around Fausta's left wrist.
It did nothing.
"Figures, huh?" Fausta questioned, grinning.
"I guess," Dib replied, shrugging.
The alien cuffs suddenly started emitting electric-blue sparks of painful DOOM!
Fausta leapt up, slapping at it with her free hand.
"Ow! OW! Owowowow!!! OWOWOWOW!!! AHHH!!!!!!! GET IT OFF!! OFFFF~!!!!"
A few eating students turned to look at the screaming girl, then went back to eating their skooly filth.
Dib and Zim were enjoying this. "AHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Fausta's captive hand suddenly melted away to a dripping black stump, letting the cuff fall of. It then grew back as quickly as it had disappeared.
She glared very un-happily at Dib.
"Well, it didn't KO you. I guess you aren't an alien." Dib shrugged, with a scared expression.
"You know what, Dib mortal??" Fausta started.
"You're going to stab with sporks like the bolognafied moose I am deep down inside?" Dib asked meekly.
"Hey, wait, I didn't say moos--" Zim was cut off by Fausta.
"No, Human. I was pretty much asking for that. It's really my fault." The Wing Invader shook her head.
"Let me guess. You don't care anyway," Dib stated bluntly.
"Yeah.... But, that's really not the point."
"So what IS the point?? An arsenal of moldy sporks?" Dib questioned.
"Haha, no mortal..." Fausta smoothed back her staticified hair. She picked up the cuffs carefully and slapped them onto Dib's arms. "NOW! FEEL THE DOOMY PAIN!!!"
Dib cringed and waited for the DOOMY PAIN, but nothing happened. Evryone waited some more, but still, nothing happened.
Fausta scolwed darkly. "Oh, now this is just WRONG!! I'M not an alien, but it fries ME! I swear, Earthen-junk contraptions are totally biased!!"
Zim nodded. "I agree. Have you seen the MOVIES? The pathetic Huuumans ALWAYS win!!"
"I KNOW! That's SO stupid!!" Fausta exclaimed.
"How about we start a club, tLAIDCoDDaSLT??" Dib said sarcastically.
"What's that stand for, mortal?" the Wing Invader questioned.
"The Loserly Alien Invader Club of Doomy Doom and... Stuff Like That," the Human replied smugly.
"Hmph! I hope you are not continuing to imply that I am an alien, Human!" Fausta stated indignantly.
"Human-this, Mortal-that, Alien-them. I heard FIVE YEARS of this stuff. Can't we all just get along? Why is there so much HATIN' here, huh!? What's with all the TENSION and ANGER!? Just live together in peace, alright??" Gaz sighed, looking up from her game.
"...Huh??" Dib and Zim.
Fausta didn't know Gaz's personality and so said nothing and ignored her.
"Um... I mean, well.." Gaz put on her best death-glare. "All your ARGUING is getting on my NERVES... Be quiet," she groaned, annoyed.
The ending bell rang.
Everyone shuffled sadly off to their HORRIBLE fifth period class.
------------------------
pureVENOM: Well, I'm tired of skool being the setting. Next chapter, they're out, and it's the weekend!! Time for some EVIL plotting from Zim and Fausta!! Personally, I like Zim's ideas better. Fausta's just dumb. Hehe.
Well, how ya like?? Getting boring?? I'm thinking of some dumb invading plans!! Yup yup!!
REVIEW ME, PLZ!!
The Moral of Today's Story:
Alien sleeve-cuffs may fry Wing Invaders, but it doesn't mean that all Humans are bolognafied skinned-moose deep down inside!