Title: Broken Promises and New Beginnings
Rating: I wish I knew. I am putting it at PG-13 just because I don't know any better and would rather err on the safe side.
Genre: Drama/Mild Angst
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They are, were and will always belong to Mr. George Lucas creator of an amazing universe. Not only does this story contain elements of the universe that Mr. Lucas created but also the Alternate Universe (AU) found in a wonderful story called An Untimely Frost by CYNICAL21. I thank Cynical21 for allowing me to reference her work. If you haven't read her story you are really missing out on a wonderful story.
Just to a little guide as to what things mean:
/-/ Bond thought //-// Private thought "-" Speaking aloud
**********************************************************************
Upon entering the Council Chambers Obi-Wan was shocked to see Qui-Gon standing in the center of the circle. He entered but hung back by the door wondering why he had been allowed to enter if the Council was already in session with Qui-Gon? He found it easier to be in Qui-Gon's presence since his afternoon of meditation but still had no desire to overhear any business he had before the Council.
"Step forward Knight Kenobi we are just beginning the mission briefing. Time is a critical element with at least one young life in the balance." Mace's words struck him and he came forward still a little perplexed by Qui- Gon's presence. Somewhere in the back of his mind the horrible truth began to dawn. They were being assigned together. He forced down the quick wave of emotion and walked steadily to the center of the Council circle.
He and Qui-Gon regarded each other with the formality of a slight bow before turning back to face the Council Members. It felt odd to Obi-Wan standing shoulder to shoulder with Qui-Gon before the Council. For a brief moment he felt himself slide back a year to that last time he had been in this room with this man. Reminding himself that the past could not be helped he renewed his focus to consider Master Windu's words.
"Two years ago you two were successful in negotiating the peace accord on the planet of Tiress." Mace began. The men both nodded remembering the mission that had been referenced.
"Over the last two years things have gone very well on the planet until two weeks ago when the Vice Commander was assassinated."
Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan gasped at this. Vice Commander Relian had been one of the reasons that peace had been possible on Tiress. He had been the leader of the Southern Hemisphere and had been willing to take the subordinate position in the planetary government in order to secure a peaceful and prosperous future for all the people of Tiress. He had been a good man. Both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had grown to care for and respect him over the three months of negotiations.
"We-I am saddened to hear of his death." Qui-Gon spoke correcting himself as he realized suddenly that he had no right to speak for Obi-Wan. He could no longer sense the man beside him and therefore could not speak for his emotions.
Obi-wan nodded his agreement with Qui-Gon's sentiment. He had noticed the slip but had not drawn attention to it.
"Rebel forces from the North Hemisphere are being accused of plotting the assassination but have yet to come forward and claim responsibility for the murderous act. Unfortunately a radical faction of the South, the Southern Liberation Army, SLA, didn't wait for any such admission. They moved in last night and kidnapped Commander La'Kol daughter from the Capitol. Now they are threatening to kill the young girl if those responsible for the Vice Commander's death are not brought to justice. The planet now stands on the brink of war. "
Mace paused allowing what he had said to sink in. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. It was always so hard to understand how sentient beings could ever believe that violence against innocence was a way to achieving justice.
"You both have experience with the parties throughout the government and have been requested by the Commander by name as trusted members of the Jedi Order to oversee the rescue efforts and bring a peaceful resolution to this volatile situation."
Once again Mace waited trying to gauge the reactions of the men before him. He had serious doubts about dispatching these two in light of the state of their relationship. He wasn't surprised to find the two men completely unreadable. Qui-Gon was tightly shielded as usual while Kenobi seemed resigned to the situation accepting it with a sense of duty. Realizing that neither one was going to admit that they had a problem serving with the other he continued.
"Do you have any questions?"
Qui-Gon glanced over at Obi-Wan giving the younger man the opportunity to make any inquiries he had. His expression matched Qui-Gon's. It was obvious that neither had any elusions that the mission which lay before them would be easy. The mission itself seemed full of peril complicated further by their own personal difficulties which they would need to work through in order to be effective and successful. They would work to achieve the Council's goals. Being Jedi they were use to their personal feelings being subordinate to the primary objective which was to achieve the Council's goals. Realizing that the Knight had no questions, Qui-Gon broke the silence.
"I do have one question. Will my Padawan be accompanying me on this mission?"
Obi-Wan stiffened slightly. It went without notice to all but one Council member who had been watching him intently throughout the briefing. Adi once again fought the desire to speak out against the Council's wisdom in allowing this particular assignment. She realized that sometimes it took extreme circumstances to resolve some conflicts but this was taking it a bit far. She wondered how much of the assignment decision had been based on the Commander's request and how much on a few meddling Councilor's needing this conflict to be resolved or at the very least removed from the confines of the Temple.
Yoda and Mace exchanged glances. It was obvious that there had been much discussion concerning the decision to include young Skywalker on the mission. One had over ruled the other though it was hard to tell who had been the victor from the stoic expressions they both wore at the moment.
"Accompany you Padawan Skywalker will. Transport is waiting at departure bay. Contacted your padawan we did. Padawan Skywalker is already aboard. Other details of mission uploaded into ship's system have been. May the force by with you both." Obi-Wan met Adi's gaze a slight smile curving his lips. She didn't miss the bit of regret and concern that lingered in his eyes. He was trying to reassure her she knew. She could tell he wished that he could give her more, but this was all he could allow under the circumstances.
Both men bowed to the Council Members deep in thought about what lay ahead of them. The first mission to Tiress had been difficult to say the least and it had not involved a kidnapping or an assassination.
Qui-Gon motioned for Obi-Wan to lead them out. Obi-Wan realized the gesture the man was making. He wondered then if he would find himself wanting to fall back into the habit of following behind this man or if he would accept the lead being offered.
Glancing back as he entered the hallway he caught Qui-Gon's expression watching him from behind. There had been pride there but also sadness. So much lay unresolved and it was doubtful that they would have much time to work through their pain on this mission especially with a ten year old Padawan underfoot. Obi-Wan slowed up and allowed Master Jinn to move even with him on his left.
"I am assuming that the SLA believes the assassination to be the doings of the Northern Freedom Fighters." Obi-Wan said as they continued on to the transport.
"That is also what I assume, but it seems too bold a move for that group. Wouldn't you agree?" Qui-Gon relished the fact that they were actually speaking to one another. It wasn't the casual exchange that they had once shared following a mission briefing, but it was a start. He would be grateful for any interaction at this point.
"I suppose if the NFF is under the same guidance it was two years ago, but a lot can change in one year let along two." The words hung heavy with truth between them. They finished their journey to the departure bay in silence.
***************************
Anakin had stowed his things as well as his Master's belongings in their assigned cabin. He wasn't sure what their mission involved but he also knew he didn't care. All that he cared about was that he was finally getting to go on a mission like a real Jedi Padawan.
He was grateful to have a legitimate reason to be out of the Temple for a while. He had had a rough first day and was in no hurry to have a second. He first settled himself into the commons area until restlessness prevailed and he found himself standing by the loading ramp.
His eyes scanned the departure bay for his Master reaching out at the same time along the bond that they shared. He could sense his Master but could not tell how far he was from the ship. He knew in time as the bond increased in intensity he would have better knowledge of the man's whereabouts and thoughts. He shuddered a bit at the thought. He realized his eventual increased access to his Master's mind would in turn leave his own thoughts vulnerable. He would have to be very careful. It would not do for the man to discover his dark secret.
Focusing once more on the bond he sensed that his Master seemed distracted and full of regret. Anakin felt a twinge of apprehension as he wondered what could be causing his Master to project so much emotion from the onset of a mission. His Master was usually securely shielded with his emotions. They tended to bleed through only when they were too intense for the man to contain or if Qui-Gon was too exhausted to maintain his full shields. Remembering the man's appearance at breakfast and also his poor performance in their saber training, Anakin decided that it was probably just fatigue.
Leaving the ramp he decided to go up to the cockpit to see what he could learn about the ship from the pilot. Perhaps if he could convince him of his piloting ability then he would allow him to fly some during their journey.
When he entered the cockpit he was surprised to find it empty. He had noticed a maintenance crew clearing out some diagnostic equipment in the aft part of the ship. He made his way back there to see what he could learn about the pilot's whereabouts. Better to hit them up for a chance to fly before his Master had a chance to veto the idea. He was learning fast that it was better to do as he liked and ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission and be denied. That was how it had worked with Watto. Anakin had a history of knowing how to work his Masters to his advantage.
The sound of tools being laid aside and the hum of machinery led him to the location of the maintenance crew.
"Excuse me," Anakin began, "Do you happen to know where I might find the pilot?"
The technician lifted his head as he finished shutting down a piece of diagnostic equipment. He regarded the young Padawan politely,
"There is no pilot assigned to this vessel. "
Anakin felt confused. Surely the mission hadn't been canceled. He felt a small sense of panic that perhaps he was aboard the wrong ship.
"How can that be?" He asked. "Isn't this ship headed to Tiress?" He was projecting anything but Jedi calm at the moment."
The technician sensed the young boy's apprehension and hid his amusement,
"Yes you are on the right vessel but one of the passengers will be piloting the craft. It is fairly common when you are lucky enough to be a Jedi and a good pilot." He smiled at the boy.
Anakin's face lit up at that. He couldn't believe his luck. He was starting out on his first official mission and would be piloting this ship as well.
//Of course why should I be surprised.// He thought. //I am more than capable of handling this. It can't be any harder than pod racing. He was the ONLY human who could do that. Any human could pilot a simple ship like this. // He felt relieved that his Master was finally realizing his full potential and would no longer be treating him like a normal padawan. He was above and beyond the ones he had met today. Being back at the Temple had convinced him of his position as the Chosen One.
He immediately made his way to the cockpit to familiarize himself with the controls. He wanted to be ready when he was called upon to take her up.
***************************
"What do you think?" Mace asked as the Council Chambers started to empty.
Adi sighed and shook her head. " I think that they will both perform their duty, but that it is an unnecessary risk to send them when we have so many other qualified field knights currently available at the Temple."
"Understand your concern I do. Your thoughts dwell on Obi-Wan. Hmmm?" Yoda raised an eyebrow regarding the young council member for a long moment. Adi felt her cheek flush as she suddenly remembered the weight of Obi-Wan's body pressing down upon hers. She quickly checked her shields.
"My personal feelings for Knight Kenobi aside I am merely surprised that the Council chose to take this tack. I am equally surprised that Qui-Gon's Padawan has been sent as well."
"He is new to the Temple. It would be much harder for him to adjust without his Master near. He is also the catalyst that began this turn between Qui- Gon and Obi-Wan. It makes sense that if there is to be resolution he would be a part of it. After meditation it was clear to us what the will of the Force was in the matter." Mace's voice indicated that the subject was closed.
"Hmph." The sound came emphasized by a hard rap of a glimmer stick to the floor. "Clear to you it may have been but clouded is that boy's future. Much fear he still has and anger. Only in time will he truly see if this decision was the will of Force or not. There is much hidden in Skywalker. Meditate on it more we must "Yoda lifted himself from his seat and started for the door.
Depa Billaba came to stand next to Adi placing her hand on the smaller woman's shoulder offering comfort.
"I just don't agree with this. " Adi said softly turning to meet Depa's gaze.
"It is done. Now we must trust in the Force and their abilities to see them through."
"I trust the Force. It is Qui-Gon Jinn that I am having problems with." She paused before continuing, "I've got a bad feeling about this."
Adi shook her head as they too left the chambers. Her thoughts were on Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. She had seen both of them today caught up in the raw hurt that still lingered between them. She knew she could always trust in the Force, but after the pain she had seen in the two men she definitely had her doubts about this mission.
"How about some dinner?" Depa offered trying to pull Adi from her melancholy.
"Sure, my other plans were suddenly interrupted." A wicked smile playing upon her face she glanced briefly at her friend.
I've been meaning to ask you about all of that." Depa lowered her head playing the role of dutiful Master causing Adi to break into unexpected laughter.
Feigning innocence Adi turned wide eyed and replied, "Whatever do you mean?" They both continued on their way to the Dining Hall.
*****************************
Anakin was sitting in the pilot's seat deep in thought contemplating the ships controls when he heard a familiar voice behind him.
"It's Core System's Technology. They make it look a lot more complicated than it really is. "
Anakin looked up startled to see Obi-Wan staring down at him. He leapt from the pilot's seat losing his balance and falling into the knight as he did.
"Easy there." Obi-Wan chuckled helping the boy to find his lost footing.
"What are you doing here?" He suddenly felt a bit envious and angry to see his Master's old Padawan intruding on his mission. Obi-Wan sensed Anakin's envy and anger flare up in the boy. This was the second time he had sensed dark emotions within the boy. He hoped that Qui-Gon was aware of them. He would need to meditate on them himself now that he was going to be serving with the padawan. He placed his hands on the boy's shoulders and gently moved him aside so that he could take his place in the pilot's seat.
Anakin bristled seeing the knight fill his seat. He was suppose to be piloting not Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan glanced up quickly meeting Anakin's angry gaze as another wave of hatred washed through the cockpit.
"Be mindful of your feelings Anakin." Obi-Wan began only to be interrupted by the voice of Qui-Gon.
Anakin stood firmly rooted in fear. How had Obi-Wan sensed his emotions? How had he known what he was feeling? Didn't it take someone who was bonded to know such things? It was then that he realized that in his shock at seeing Obi-Wan he had forgotten to maintain his shields. He wondered what else the knight had sensed.
"Anakin." Qui-Gon's voice pulled him from his trance. "It will be time to take off soon so why don't you go strap yourself in." Anakin bowed to his Master casting one last look in Obi-Wan's direction before leaving.
"Did I miss something?" The older man asked as he stepped into the cockpit. He felt himself immediately going on the defensive to protect his padawan.
"Just a bit of a miscue I think. I believe he thought he was to pilot." Obi-Wan never looked away from his preflight checks.
Staring at the young man Qui-Gon caught himself lost in the nostalgia of the moment. The familiarity of the sight playing out before his eyes filled him with a deep feeling of melancholy.
//Please give me a chance to make things right.// he thought.
"I can't imagine why Anakin would think such a thing he hasn't taken any of his rating tests." He turned to go.
"I doubt very much that ten year old boys think much about rating tests when there is a chance to pilot. I don't remember ever giving them a thought until you mentioned them."
Qui-Gon heard the humor in Obi-Wan's voice and it warmed him. Maybe there would be hope yet. He pushed the thought aside and made his way to the back to strap in with his presumptuous Padawan.
Once the ship had entered hyperspace Obi-Wan activated the reentry alarm system. There was very little left to do until they reached their destination. He spent a few more moments with busy work trying to delay facing the Jinn/Skywalker team as long as possible. He had seen them together before but somehow he had a feeling that seeing them function together on a mission would be painful to say the least.
He wondered again about Anakin's feelings that he had sensed earlier. There had been more to it than simple envy or hatred. There had been something very dark. He found himself perplexed by the boy's envy. After all he had been the Chosen One, not Obi-Wan. He had been 'Obi-Wan Kenobi's replacement'. Obi-Wan swallowed the bitterness he felt at the thought. It wasn't the boy's fault he reminded himself. The Commander's daughter and people of Tiress were counting on his ability to put his personal differences with Qui-Gon aside. He would not fail them. He released a calming breath and pushed himself up from his seat.
*******************
"We observe other culture's protocols in order to show our respect for them. It isn't that we necessarily agree with them but unless they come into direct conflict with our basic tenets we have no reason to give offense." Qui-Gon's voice carried down the corridor as Obi-Wan entered the commons area.
The scene before him was a familiar one. He had just never viewed it from this particular perspective. He had always been a part of the scene not a mere observer. He watched the Master and student as they worked going over the various cultural information the Council had uploaded into the ship's system. Most of ground work Master Jinn was teaching Obi-Wan had been taught in courses which were required of Temple initiates. He realized how far behind Anakin was having not been raised in the Temple.
Obi-Wan made his way into the galley and started taking a look at the food supplies that had been laid in for the mission. He set about making some tea listening as the lesson progressed behind him. He remembered so well the sound of his Master's voice instructing him as he set about this very task. He had expected to feel angered or betrayed by the scene but instead he found himself comforted by it. Not by the individuals involved but by the familiarity of it. So little had felt familiar in the previous twelve months. If he kept his back to the scene he could almost believe that it was the past and it was he and his Master getting ready for a mission.
"That's stupid." Anakin's voice threw Obi-Wan out of his reminiscing.
"Our feelings concerning that particular custom matter not. As Jedi we must know and understand why it is important to them and allow are actions to reflect our respect." Qui-Gon's voice was reprimanding but at the same time understanding towards the boy.
Obi-Wan continued on with his own ministrations as he instinctively reached for Qui-Gon's favorite herbal tea. Holding the pouch of leaves between his fingers he was suddenly struck with an overwhelming need to run. It all felt so wrong. He felt so out of place. He didn't belong here with these two. He swallowed hard trying to reign in his breathing. Just being so near his master and not being able to sense him. Hearing his voice but knowing they had nothing to say. Once he was sure that his composure was back in place he moved quickly past the pair and made his way back to the cockpit. It was going to be a very long trip.
Qui-Gon had noticed Obi-Wan's quick exit. Hadn't the knight been in the process of making tea only moments before? Busying Anakin with the next section of reading he made his way into the galley. The warming pot was on but when he looked inside he found no water or tea. Turning the pot off something caught his eye. He reached for the pouch and held it up to his nose. Danghi tea. It was his favorite. Obi-Wan had never acquired a taste for it. Looking in the direction that the knight had disappeared Qui- Gon felt a hand seize his heart and squeeze down on it. He had caused this. He had broken his word. He had mangled the trust that the boy now man had built in him over 12 long years. He smelled the tea once more closing his eyes against the sting of tears. He realized that he wasn't the only one struggling with the bittersweet nostalgia of this mission.
//Always the dutiful padawan my beloved Obi-Wan. Always the perfect padawan.//
He thought to himself staring down the passage. He set about making the tea Obi-Wan had abandoned. Carefully placing the Danghi pouch back on the shelve he reached instead for the Rooseleaf. It had always been Obi-Wan's favorite. He hoped that some thing had not changed.
**********
Rechecking the same diagnostic for the fifth time Obi-Wan released his pain once more into the Force. He would get use to this. He would find a way to work around it. He consoled himself with the thought that tonight would be the worst of it, but somehow he was having a hard time convincing himself. He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Qui-Gon's voice.
"I thought perhaps you could use some tea." He offered the young knight a cup.
Obi-Wan took the proffered cup and nodded his head. Bringing the steaming cup up to his lips he smelled the lovely aroma of rooseleaves. He closed his eyes drinking it in. It pushed away the chill of space. He opened his eyes filled with surprise.
"I hope it is still your favorite. To this day it is always the one I reach for each time I set out to make tea. Funny isn't it?" Qui-Gon's voice broke slightly under the strain of emotion. Working hard to maintain his serenity he turned and made his way back to his waiting student.
Obi-Wan was speechless. He wanted to say thank you. He wanted to ask if that were really the truth. He wanted to ask the man if he really thought one lousy cup of tea could fix all that was between them. Instead he found himself infinitely grateful for the act of kindness realizing how desperately he had needed it. He took a moment to recover and find his center before following the master back down to the commons area.
********
Upon reaching the area he once again made himself busy in the galley. He was definitely hungry now. Recovered from his earlier shock he turned and regarded the master and student at the table behind him.
"Excuse the interruption Master Jinn but I failed to have an opportunity to catch dinner tonight I wasn't sure if either of you were hungry as well?" Qui-Gon looked up but found Obi-Wan staring at Anakin.
"Starving!" Anakin replied relieved that someone else had brought it up. He had eaten with his new friends earlier but that had been hours ago.
"I could eat something as well." Qui-Gon said rising more than willing to help with the task.
"That's fine." Obi-Wan started motioning for Qui-Gon to remain where he had been, " You two are in the midst of lessons. I know how hard it can be to break away from such things."
He winked at Anakin then turned his attention back to Qui-Gon all mirth erased from his face. "I can cook this evening and then perhaps you and Anakin could handle tomorrow. We should arrive in system by the next day. Is that agreeable?" Obi-Wan kept his tone as impersonal as possible.
Qui-Gon glanced over to regard his Padawan who was already nodding to Obi- Wan.
"It appears to be a plan. If you need any assistance I --" Qui-Gon said smiling at Obi-Wan.
"That won't be necessary. I have been doing this for quite some time as you well know." Obi-Wan's back was too them as he began once again scavenging through the food stores.
He had lost a bit of his appetite addressing the team behind him. They had appeared the perfect picture of master and apprentice. He wondered for a moment what he and Qui-Gon had looked like together studying over lessons, sitting at negotiations or appearing before the Council. Had they too looked like the perfect pairing? Somehow Obi-Wan doubted it. He swallowed his bitterness hearing Anakin's laughter behind him. Had he laughed that way with Qui-Gon? He didn't remember laughing much. He remembered fretting a lot and failing a lot but laughing he just couldn't remember very well. Then again he wasn't the Chosen One. He had been the Pitiful One taken out of pity and guilt.
He remembered Qui-Gon's admission about Bandomeer. Obi-Wan reached out to the Force to steady his emotions. He was reminded of the truth he had found in his meditation. The past could not be changed. He had decided that Qui-Gon would be a part of his life but only on the condition that he admit his role in the destruction of what they had had and that he accept that things could never be the same again. It was only when they could finally let go of the past that they could hope to build some sort of future. Obi-Wan reached down inside himself and finally let go.
Qui-Gon made his way into the galley for another cup of tea. Setting the warming pot down, he glanced up and discovered Obi-Wan watching him. To his surprise a small smile had found its way to Obi-Wan's lips but not his eyes. Qui-Gon found himself startled at the sight of it until he realized that it was a smile signaling resignation and eyes filled with a depth of sadness Qui-Gon had never seen before. It was the look of grief. It was the look of someone letting go of something precious to him. Something he had never thought he could ever bare to lose, but now found he had no choice but to let it go.
His own smile vanished as the harsh reality sunk into him. He was letting go of them. He was letting go of what they had been together. He was letting go of what they had had together. He wanted to cry out. He wanted to beg him to hold on. He wanted to shout out a million reasons why Obi- Wan shouldn't let go, but he failed to come up with one. The pain was so tangible. He could touch it. He could see it. It was real.
He found himself struggling to maintain his focus. He hurriedly returned to the table trying to remember where he had been in his lesson with Anakin but could not. Realizing he was lost Anakin jumped in bringing them back to the section on cultural protocols. He smiled wearily and then once again launched into the lesson. His mind reeling as he finally realized what his lack of trust had truly cost him. It had cost him the one person who loved him above everyone else. It had cost him Obi-Wan Kenobi.
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Well I have just tinker with this until I just can't stand it anymore. This is as good as I can get it. We have two more chapters to go. They will probably be spaced a bit further apart because they need lots of work. I am going to end this where I had originally planned to then have a sequel. I haven't started the sequel so it might be a few weeks. I will try not to disappoint. Hope you like this one. Thanks again for the reviews. It really helps to know that people are actually reading my story. It is really a dream come true. Shanobi I can never thank you enough for encouraging me to take this chance. Thanks!!!
Rating: I wish I knew. I am putting it at PG-13 just because I don't know any better and would rather err on the safe side.
Genre: Drama/Mild Angst
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They are, were and will always belong to Mr. George Lucas creator of an amazing universe. Not only does this story contain elements of the universe that Mr. Lucas created but also the Alternate Universe (AU) found in a wonderful story called An Untimely Frost by CYNICAL21. I thank Cynical21 for allowing me to reference her work. If you haven't read her story you are really missing out on a wonderful story.
Just to a little guide as to what things mean:
/-/ Bond thought //-// Private thought "-" Speaking aloud
**********************************************************************
Upon entering the Council Chambers Obi-Wan was shocked to see Qui-Gon standing in the center of the circle. He entered but hung back by the door wondering why he had been allowed to enter if the Council was already in session with Qui-Gon? He found it easier to be in Qui-Gon's presence since his afternoon of meditation but still had no desire to overhear any business he had before the Council.
"Step forward Knight Kenobi we are just beginning the mission briefing. Time is a critical element with at least one young life in the balance." Mace's words struck him and he came forward still a little perplexed by Qui- Gon's presence. Somewhere in the back of his mind the horrible truth began to dawn. They were being assigned together. He forced down the quick wave of emotion and walked steadily to the center of the Council circle.
He and Qui-Gon regarded each other with the formality of a slight bow before turning back to face the Council Members. It felt odd to Obi-Wan standing shoulder to shoulder with Qui-Gon before the Council. For a brief moment he felt himself slide back a year to that last time he had been in this room with this man. Reminding himself that the past could not be helped he renewed his focus to consider Master Windu's words.
"Two years ago you two were successful in negotiating the peace accord on the planet of Tiress." Mace began. The men both nodded remembering the mission that had been referenced.
"Over the last two years things have gone very well on the planet until two weeks ago when the Vice Commander was assassinated."
Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan gasped at this. Vice Commander Relian had been one of the reasons that peace had been possible on Tiress. He had been the leader of the Southern Hemisphere and had been willing to take the subordinate position in the planetary government in order to secure a peaceful and prosperous future for all the people of Tiress. He had been a good man. Both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had grown to care for and respect him over the three months of negotiations.
"We-I am saddened to hear of his death." Qui-Gon spoke correcting himself as he realized suddenly that he had no right to speak for Obi-Wan. He could no longer sense the man beside him and therefore could not speak for his emotions.
Obi-wan nodded his agreement with Qui-Gon's sentiment. He had noticed the slip but had not drawn attention to it.
"Rebel forces from the North Hemisphere are being accused of plotting the assassination but have yet to come forward and claim responsibility for the murderous act. Unfortunately a radical faction of the South, the Southern Liberation Army, SLA, didn't wait for any such admission. They moved in last night and kidnapped Commander La'Kol daughter from the Capitol. Now they are threatening to kill the young girl if those responsible for the Vice Commander's death are not brought to justice. The planet now stands on the brink of war. "
Mace paused allowing what he had said to sink in. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. It was always so hard to understand how sentient beings could ever believe that violence against innocence was a way to achieving justice.
"You both have experience with the parties throughout the government and have been requested by the Commander by name as trusted members of the Jedi Order to oversee the rescue efforts and bring a peaceful resolution to this volatile situation."
Once again Mace waited trying to gauge the reactions of the men before him. He had serious doubts about dispatching these two in light of the state of their relationship. He wasn't surprised to find the two men completely unreadable. Qui-Gon was tightly shielded as usual while Kenobi seemed resigned to the situation accepting it with a sense of duty. Realizing that neither one was going to admit that they had a problem serving with the other he continued.
"Do you have any questions?"
Qui-Gon glanced over at Obi-Wan giving the younger man the opportunity to make any inquiries he had. His expression matched Qui-Gon's. It was obvious that neither had any elusions that the mission which lay before them would be easy. The mission itself seemed full of peril complicated further by their own personal difficulties which they would need to work through in order to be effective and successful. They would work to achieve the Council's goals. Being Jedi they were use to their personal feelings being subordinate to the primary objective which was to achieve the Council's goals. Realizing that the Knight had no questions, Qui-Gon broke the silence.
"I do have one question. Will my Padawan be accompanying me on this mission?"
Obi-Wan stiffened slightly. It went without notice to all but one Council member who had been watching him intently throughout the briefing. Adi once again fought the desire to speak out against the Council's wisdom in allowing this particular assignment. She realized that sometimes it took extreme circumstances to resolve some conflicts but this was taking it a bit far. She wondered how much of the assignment decision had been based on the Commander's request and how much on a few meddling Councilor's needing this conflict to be resolved or at the very least removed from the confines of the Temple.
Yoda and Mace exchanged glances. It was obvious that there had been much discussion concerning the decision to include young Skywalker on the mission. One had over ruled the other though it was hard to tell who had been the victor from the stoic expressions they both wore at the moment.
"Accompany you Padawan Skywalker will. Transport is waiting at departure bay. Contacted your padawan we did. Padawan Skywalker is already aboard. Other details of mission uploaded into ship's system have been. May the force by with you both." Obi-Wan met Adi's gaze a slight smile curving his lips. She didn't miss the bit of regret and concern that lingered in his eyes. He was trying to reassure her she knew. She could tell he wished that he could give her more, but this was all he could allow under the circumstances.
Both men bowed to the Council Members deep in thought about what lay ahead of them. The first mission to Tiress had been difficult to say the least and it had not involved a kidnapping or an assassination.
Qui-Gon motioned for Obi-Wan to lead them out. Obi-Wan realized the gesture the man was making. He wondered then if he would find himself wanting to fall back into the habit of following behind this man or if he would accept the lead being offered.
Glancing back as he entered the hallway he caught Qui-Gon's expression watching him from behind. There had been pride there but also sadness. So much lay unresolved and it was doubtful that they would have much time to work through their pain on this mission especially with a ten year old Padawan underfoot. Obi-Wan slowed up and allowed Master Jinn to move even with him on his left.
"I am assuming that the SLA believes the assassination to be the doings of the Northern Freedom Fighters." Obi-Wan said as they continued on to the transport.
"That is also what I assume, but it seems too bold a move for that group. Wouldn't you agree?" Qui-Gon relished the fact that they were actually speaking to one another. It wasn't the casual exchange that they had once shared following a mission briefing, but it was a start. He would be grateful for any interaction at this point.
"I suppose if the NFF is under the same guidance it was two years ago, but a lot can change in one year let along two." The words hung heavy with truth between them. They finished their journey to the departure bay in silence.
***************************
Anakin had stowed his things as well as his Master's belongings in their assigned cabin. He wasn't sure what their mission involved but he also knew he didn't care. All that he cared about was that he was finally getting to go on a mission like a real Jedi Padawan.
He was grateful to have a legitimate reason to be out of the Temple for a while. He had had a rough first day and was in no hurry to have a second. He first settled himself into the commons area until restlessness prevailed and he found himself standing by the loading ramp.
His eyes scanned the departure bay for his Master reaching out at the same time along the bond that they shared. He could sense his Master but could not tell how far he was from the ship. He knew in time as the bond increased in intensity he would have better knowledge of the man's whereabouts and thoughts. He shuddered a bit at the thought. He realized his eventual increased access to his Master's mind would in turn leave his own thoughts vulnerable. He would have to be very careful. It would not do for the man to discover his dark secret.
Focusing once more on the bond he sensed that his Master seemed distracted and full of regret. Anakin felt a twinge of apprehension as he wondered what could be causing his Master to project so much emotion from the onset of a mission. His Master was usually securely shielded with his emotions. They tended to bleed through only when they were too intense for the man to contain or if Qui-Gon was too exhausted to maintain his full shields. Remembering the man's appearance at breakfast and also his poor performance in their saber training, Anakin decided that it was probably just fatigue.
Leaving the ramp he decided to go up to the cockpit to see what he could learn about the ship from the pilot. Perhaps if he could convince him of his piloting ability then he would allow him to fly some during their journey.
When he entered the cockpit he was surprised to find it empty. He had noticed a maintenance crew clearing out some diagnostic equipment in the aft part of the ship. He made his way back there to see what he could learn about the pilot's whereabouts. Better to hit them up for a chance to fly before his Master had a chance to veto the idea. He was learning fast that it was better to do as he liked and ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission and be denied. That was how it had worked with Watto. Anakin had a history of knowing how to work his Masters to his advantage.
The sound of tools being laid aside and the hum of machinery led him to the location of the maintenance crew.
"Excuse me," Anakin began, "Do you happen to know where I might find the pilot?"
The technician lifted his head as he finished shutting down a piece of diagnostic equipment. He regarded the young Padawan politely,
"There is no pilot assigned to this vessel. "
Anakin felt confused. Surely the mission hadn't been canceled. He felt a small sense of panic that perhaps he was aboard the wrong ship.
"How can that be?" He asked. "Isn't this ship headed to Tiress?" He was projecting anything but Jedi calm at the moment."
The technician sensed the young boy's apprehension and hid his amusement,
"Yes you are on the right vessel but one of the passengers will be piloting the craft. It is fairly common when you are lucky enough to be a Jedi and a good pilot." He smiled at the boy.
Anakin's face lit up at that. He couldn't believe his luck. He was starting out on his first official mission and would be piloting this ship as well.
//Of course why should I be surprised.// He thought. //I am more than capable of handling this. It can't be any harder than pod racing. He was the ONLY human who could do that. Any human could pilot a simple ship like this. // He felt relieved that his Master was finally realizing his full potential and would no longer be treating him like a normal padawan. He was above and beyond the ones he had met today. Being back at the Temple had convinced him of his position as the Chosen One.
He immediately made his way to the cockpit to familiarize himself with the controls. He wanted to be ready when he was called upon to take her up.
***************************
"What do you think?" Mace asked as the Council Chambers started to empty.
Adi sighed and shook her head. " I think that they will both perform their duty, but that it is an unnecessary risk to send them when we have so many other qualified field knights currently available at the Temple."
"Understand your concern I do. Your thoughts dwell on Obi-Wan. Hmmm?" Yoda raised an eyebrow regarding the young council member for a long moment. Adi felt her cheek flush as she suddenly remembered the weight of Obi-Wan's body pressing down upon hers. She quickly checked her shields.
"My personal feelings for Knight Kenobi aside I am merely surprised that the Council chose to take this tack. I am equally surprised that Qui-Gon's Padawan has been sent as well."
"He is new to the Temple. It would be much harder for him to adjust without his Master near. He is also the catalyst that began this turn between Qui- Gon and Obi-Wan. It makes sense that if there is to be resolution he would be a part of it. After meditation it was clear to us what the will of the Force was in the matter." Mace's voice indicated that the subject was closed.
"Hmph." The sound came emphasized by a hard rap of a glimmer stick to the floor. "Clear to you it may have been but clouded is that boy's future. Much fear he still has and anger. Only in time will he truly see if this decision was the will of Force or not. There is much hidden in Skywalker. Meditate on it more we must "Yoda lifted himself from his seat and started for the door.
Depa Billaba came to stand next to Adi placing her hand on the smaller woman's shoulder offering comfort.
"I just don't agree with this. " Adi said softly turning to meet Depa's gaze.
"It is done. Now we must trust in the Force and their abilities to see them through."
"I trust the Force. It is Qui-Gon Jinn that I am having problems with." She paused before continuing, "I've got a bad feeling about this."
Adi shook her head as they too left the chambers. Her thoughts were on Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. She had seen both of them today caught up in the raw hurt that still lingered between them. She knew she could always trust in the Force, but after the pain she had seen in the two men she definitely had her doubts about this mission.
"How about some dinner?" Depa offered trying to pull Adi from her melancholy.
"Sure, my other plans were suddenly interrupted." A wicked smile playing upon her face she glanced briefly at her friend.
I've been meaning to ask you about all of that." Depa lowered her head playing the role of dutiful Master causing Adi to break into unexpected laughter.
Feigning innocence Adi turned wide eyed and replied, "Whatever do you mean?" They both continued on their way to the Dining Hall.
*****************************
Anakin was sitting in the pilot's seat deep in thought contemplating the ships controls when he heard a familiar voice behind him.
"It's Core System's Technology. They make it look a lot more complicated than it really is. "
Anakin looked up startled to see Obi-Wan staring down at him. He leapt from the pilot's seat losing his balance and falling into the knight as he did.
"Easy there." Obi-Wan chuckled helping the boy to find his lost footing.
"What are you doing here?" He suddenly felt a bit envious and angry to see his Master's old Padawan intruding on his mission. Obi-Wan sensed Anakin's envy and anger flare up in the boy. This was the second time he had sensed dark emotions within the boy. He hoped that Qui-Gon was aware of them. He would need to meditate on them himself now that he was going to be serving with the padawan. He placed his hands on the boy's shoulders and gently moved him aside so that he could take his place in the pilot's seat.
Anakin bristled seeing the knight fill his seat. He was suppose to be piloting not Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan glanced up quickly meeting Anakin's angry gaze as another wave of hatred washed through the cockpit.
"Be mindful of your feelings Anakin." Obi-Wan began only to be interrupted by the voice of Qui-Gon.
Anakin stood firmly rooted in fear. How had Obi-Wan sensed his emotions? How had he known what he was feeling? Didn't it take someone who was bonded to know such things? It was then that he realized that in his shock at seeing Obi-Wan he had forgotten to maintain his shields. He wondered what else the knight had sensed.
"Anakin." Qui-Gon's voice pulled him from his trance. "It will be time to take off soon so why don't you go strap yourself in." Anakin bowed to his Master casting one last look in Obi-Wan's direction before leaving.
"Did I miss something?" The older man asked as he stepped into the cockpit. He felt himself immediately going on the defensive to protect his padawan.
"Just a bit of a miscue I think. I believe he thought he was to pilot." Obi-Wan never looked away from his preflight checks.
Staring at the young man Qui-Gon caught himself lost in the nostalgia of the moment. The familiarity of the sight playing out before his eyes filled him with a deep feeling of melancholy.
//Please give me a chance to make things right.// he thought.
"I can't imagine why Anakin would think such a thing he hasn't taken any of his rating tests." He turned to go.
"I doubt very much that ten year old boys think much about rating tests when there is a chance to pilot. I don't remember ever giving them a thought until you mentioned them."
Qui-Gon heard the humor in Obi-Wan's voice and it warmed him. Maybe there would be hope yet. He pushed the thought aside and made his way to the back to strap in with his presumptuous Padawan.
Once the ship had entered hyperspace Obi-Wan activated the reentry alarm system. There was very little left to do until they reached their destination. He spent a few more moments with busy work trying to delay facing the Jinn/Skywalker team as long as possible. He had seen them together before but somehow he had a feeling that seeing them function together on a mission would be painful to say the least.
He wondered again about Anakin's feelings that he had sensed earlier. There had been more to it than simple envy or hatred. There had been something very dark. He found himself perplexed by the boy's envy. After all he had been the Chosen One, not Obi-Wan. He had been 'Obi-Wan Kenobi's replacement'. Obi-Wan swallowed the bitterness he felt at the thought. It wasn't the boy's fault he reminded himself. The Commander's daughter and people of Tiress were counting on his ability to put his personal differences with Qui-Gon aside. He would not fail them. He released a calming breath and pushed himself up from his seat.
*******************
"We observe other culture's protocols in order to show our respect for them. It isn't that we necessarily agree with them but unless they come into direct conflict with our basic tenets we have no reason to give offense." Qui-Gon's voice carried down the corridor as Obi-Wan entered the commons area.
The scene before him was a familiar one. He had just never viewed it from this particular perspective. He had always been a part of the scene not a mere observer. He watched the Master and student as they worked going over the various cultural information the Council had uploaded into the ship's system. Most of ground work Master Jinn was teaching Obi-Wan had been taught in courses which were required of Temple initiates. He realized how far behind Anakin was having not been raised in the Temple.
Obi-Wan made his way into the galley and started taking a look at the food supplies that had been laid in for the mission. He set about making some tea listening as the lesson progressed behind him. He remembered so well the sound of his Master's voice instructing him as he set about this very task. He had expected to feel angered or betrayed by the scene but instead he found himself comforted by it. Not by the individuals involved but by the familiarity of it. So little had felt familiar in the previous twelve months. If he kept his back to the scene he could almost believe that it was the past and it was he and his Master getting ready for a mission.
"That's stupid." Anakin's voice threw Obi-Wan out of his reminiscing.
"Our feelings concerning that particular custom matter not. As Jedi we must know and understand why it is important to them and allow are actions to reflect our respect." Qui-Gon's voice was reprimanding but at the same time understanding towards the boy.
Obi-Wan continued on with his own ministrations as he instinctively reached for Qui-Gon's favorite herbal tea. Holding the pouch of leaves between his fingers he was suddenly struck with an overwhelming need to run. It all felt so wrong. He felt so out of place. He didn't belong here with these two. He swallowed hard trying to reign in his breathing. Just being so near his master and not being able to sense him. Hearing his voice but knowing they had nothing to say. Once he was sure that his composure was back in place he moved quickly past the pair and made his way back to the cockpit. It was going to be a very long trip.
Qui-Gon had noticed Obi-Wan's quick exit. Hadn't the knight been in the process of making tea only moments before? Busying Anakin with the next section of reading he made his way into the galley. The warming pot was on but when he looked inside he found no water or tea. Turning the pot off something caught his eye. He reached for the pouch and held it up to his nose. Danghi tea. It was his favorite. Obi-Wan had never acquired a taste for it. Looking in the direction that the knight had disappeared Qui- Gon felt a hand seize his heart and squeeze down on it. He had caused this. He had broken his word. He had mangled the trust that the boy now man had built in him over 12 long years. He smelled the tea once more closing his eyes against the sting of tears. He realized that he wasn't the only one struggling with the bittersweet nostalgia of this mission.
//Always the dutiful padawan my beloved Obi-Wan. Always the perfect padawan.//
He thought to himself staring down the passage. He set about making the tea Obi-Wan had abandoned. Carefully placing the Danghi pouch back on the shelve he reached instead for the Rooseleaf. It had always been Obi-Wan's favorite. He hoped that some thing had not changed.
**********
Rechecking the same diagnostic for the fifth time Obi-Wan released his pain once more into the Force. He would get use to this. He would find a way to work around it. He consoled himself with the thought that tonight would be the worst of it, but somehow he was having a hard time convincing himself. He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Qui-Gon's voice.
"I thought perhaps you could use some tea." He offered the young knight a cup.
Obi-Wan took the proffered cup and nodded his head. Bringing the steaming cup up to his lips he smelled the lovely aroma of rooseleaves. He closed his eyes drinking it in. It pushed away the chill of space. He opened his eyes filled with surprise.
"I hope it is still your favorite. To this day it is always the one I reach for each time I set out to make tea. Funny isn't it?" Qui-Gon's voice broke slightly under the strain of emotion. Working hard to maintain his serenity he turned and made his way back to his waiting student.
Obi-Wan was speechless. He wanted to say thank you. He wanted to ask if that were really the truth. He wanted to ask the man if he really thought one lousy cup of tea could fix all that was between them. Instead he found himself infinitely grateful for the act of kindness realizing how desperately he had needed it. He took a moment to recover and find his center before following the master back down to the commons area.
********
Upon reaching the area he once again made himself busy in the galley. He was definitely hungry now. Recovered from his earlier shock he turned and regarded the master and student at the table behind him.
"Excuse the interruption Master Jinn but I failed to have an opportunity to catch dinner tonight I wasn't sure if either of you were hungry as well?" Qui-Gon looked up but found Obi-Wan staring at Anakin.
"Starving!" Anakin replied relieved that someone else had brought it up. He had eaten with his new friends earlier but that had been hours ago.
"I could eat something as well." Qui-Gon said rising more than willing to help with the task.
"That's fine." Obi-Wan started motioning for Qui-Gon to remain where he had been, " You two are in the midst of lessons. I know how hard it can be to break away from such things."
He winked at Anakin then turned his attention back to Qui-Gon all mirth erased from his face. "I can cook this evening and then perhaps you and Anakin could handle tomorrow. We should arrive in system by the next day. Is that agreeable?" Obi-Wan kept his tone as impersonal as possible.
Qui-Gon glanced over to regard his Padawan who was already nodding to Obi- Wan.
"It appears to be a plan. If you need any assistance I --" Qui-Gon said smiling at Obi-Wan.
"That won't be necessary. I have been doing this for quite some time as you well know." Obi-Wan's back was too them as he began once again scavenging through the food stores.
He had lost a bit of his appetite addressing the team behind him. They had appeared the perfect picture of master and apprentice. He wondered for a moment what he and Qui-Gon had looked like together studying over lessons, sitting at negotiations or appearing before the Council. Had they too looked like the perfect pairing? Somehow Obi-Wan doubted it. He swallowed his bitterness hearing Anakin's laughter behind him. Had he laughed that way with Qui-Gon? He didn't remember laughing much. He remembered fretting a lot and failing a lot but laughing he just couldn't remember very well. Then again he wasn't the Chosen One. He had been the Pitiful One taken out of pity and guilt.
He remembered Qui-Gon's admission about Bandomeer. Obi-Wan reached out to the Force to steady his emotions. He was reminded of the truth he had found in his meditation. The past could not be changed. He had decided that Qui-Gon would be a part of his life but only on the condition that he admit his role in the destruction of what they had had and that he accept that things could never be the same again. It was only when they could finally let go of the past that they could hope to build some sort of future. Obi-Wan reached down inside himself and finally let go.
Qui-Gon made his way into the galley for another cup of tea. Setting the warming pot down, he glanced up and discovered Obi-Wan watching him. To his surprise a small smile had found its way to Obi-Wan's lips but not his eyes. Qui-Gon found himself startled at the sight of it until he realized that it was a smile signaling resignation and eyes filled with a depth of sadness Qui-Gon had never seen before. It was the look of grief. It was the look of someone letting go of something precious to him. Something he had never thought he could ever bare to lose, but now found he had no choice but to let it go.
His own smile vanished as the harsh reality sunk into him. He was letting go of them. He was letting go of what they had been together. He was letting go of what they had had together. He wanted to cry out. He wanted to beg him to hold on. He wanted to shout out a million reasons why Obi- Wan shouldn't let go, but he failed to come up with one. The pain was so tangible. He could touch it. He could see it. It was real.
He found himself struggling to maintain his focus. He hurriedly returned to the table trying to remember where he had been in his lesson with Anakin but could not. Realizing he was lost Anakin jumped in bringing them back to the section on cultural protocols. He smiled wearily and then once again launched into the lesson. His mind reeling as he finally realized what his lack of trust had truly cost him. It had cost him the one person who loved him above everyone else. It had cost him Obi-Wan Kenobi.
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Well I have just tinker with this until I just can't stand it anymore. This is as good as I can get it. We have two more chapters to go. They will probably be spaced a bit further apart because they need lots of work. I am going to end this where I had originally planned to then have a sequel. I haven't started the sequel so it might be a few weeks. I will try not to disappoint. Hope you like this one. Thanks again for the reviews. It really helps to know that people are actually reading my story. It is really a dream come true. Shanobi I can never thank you enough for encouraging me to take this chance. Thanks!!!