Everything I wish I had
Author: Purrmeow
Author's notes: My flight was postponed, (damned certificte of eligibility
hasn't even come yet, so I have no Visa), so I am now able to write and post
chapter three before I leave! YAY! By the way, I would like to thank everyone
out there for the reviews, this is the best response I have ever gotten for my
writing, and it was a great way to break out of my self loathing depression;
Domo arigatou gozaimasu minna! I would also like to apologize for the mix up in
posting the 2nd chapter, I screwed up while posting chapter ten of my Yami no
Matsuei fic, and I thought I fixed it; but it only messed it up more. It's fixed
now, and I hope it's done properly now... I don't have my own internet, so I can
only check when I'm at my friends' house. Either way, thanks for the support,
and read on. I'll miss you all in Japan, and I will write as soon as I get back,
and even keep in touch with all of you if possible.
Chapter Three
His head throbbed, questions tormenting his mind as he attempted to curl into
the smallest ball his body could imagine. He could hear them coming, Hiro's deep
voice rising above the mass of producers, the cries of the fans, and his other
bandmates.
"Shuichi! Shuichi! Where are you Shuichi?!" Volume grew as the door to the
bathroom burst open, and the redhead ran in. " Shuichi!"
It was already too late, Shuichi could sware that he had been spotted, and it
was only a matter of time before Hiro had him. His entire body was shaking as
his arms wrapped protectively around the bishounen. He couldn't remember a time
where he was more afraid; and to think that it was Hiro who induced such fear.
Escape was the only thing on his mind, as the handle on his stall violently
shook, the moment of discovery was iminent.
The pink haired vocalist felt like a trapped animal, every cell tense as
adrenaline pumped through his veins as readily as the blood that filled his
system. Hair standing on end, Shuichi crouched, prepared to strike if the task
became necessary.
The stall door flew open, and behind it an infuriated Hiro heaved, shocked at
the animalistic Shuichi that dashed out from the stall and the washroom in, no
doubt, record speed. A little caught off guard, Hiro blinked a few times. 'Why
is he running?' The red head asked himself with a confused expression. Half of
his body told him to follow the over reacting vocalist; but the other half, his
reasonable side, convinced him that it would potentially be the most harmful
conclusion.
~***~
From behind golden locks, Yuki Eiri's golden eyes glared at the answering
machine; it wasn't everyday that he came home to a hoard of messages, and 24 was
far greater than expected. He knew that something was wrong, but couldn't place
it before pressing the play button.
"Yuki!" The machine cried, Shuichi's hyper tone perfectly replicated. "This is
me, I just wanted to call and say that I think I'll be home early, nothing is
really going on here at work. Either way..." The machine babbled on," I'll see
ya later!"
He felt his mood lighten, and pressing the erase button, proceeded, slightly
curious as to the location of the pink haired man. It was quiet, and although he
was more than welcoming the silence, he almost missed the vocalist's real voice,
in it's melodic tone. Lighting up a cigarette, the blonde fell onto the couch
and listened to the rest of the messages.
The first few were more messages from a bored Shuichi, and Yuki twitched
visably, maybe he didn't really miss the noise as much as he previously
thought... However, the next couple of messages took on quite another tone, and
the date had bumped up two days. Hiro's deep voice filled the room, and not in
his usual calm tone, he sounded enraged as he yelled into the machine.
"Shuichi! Are you there? What happened on stage? Call me as soon as you get
this. It's Hiro, Ja!"
Barely a few minutes later, as indicated by the machine, Hiro's agrevated voice
returned. " Shuichi, I know that your there. Pick up the phone!"
The next twenty messages were basic replicas of the first two, although it were
blatantly obvious that the callers were quickly getting more and more agitated,
to the point where Yuki had to turn down the machine just to tolerate listening.
Having finished with the machine, Yuki rose off of the couch, and proceeded
through the apartment, the answering machine fueling his urgency. "Shuichi!" He
called, still not used to refering to the younger by his name. He threw every
door open, frantically searched through all of the rooms, his anger growing with
every repeated failure. Shuichi was gone, he was no longer in the apartment, nor
the building; Yuki knew there was only one more place the vocalist could have
gone, seeing that all of NG had left messages questioning the whereabouts of the
bishounen.
Lifting his jacket off of the arm of the chair, the blonde proceeded out the
apartment, and into his ebony car, eyes narrowed as he drove along the
unfamiliar path to Shuichi's parent's house.
~***~
Shuichi nearly cowered back into the corner as a curious Sakuma Ryuichi
approached, his blue eyes speculatively glancing at the nervous vocalist. "Why
haven't you been coming to work?" The hyperactive brunette began, kneeling
before the shaking pink haired man, "Did you not have fun at the concert?" His
navy eyes quivered in time with his lip.
" No! It's not that it's just..." Shuichi quickly attempted to recover, hands
waving back and forth before him. He was still a little tense around Sakuma-san,
his feelings for the rock god uncertain, and those for Yuki questionably
wavering. He was deathfully afraid to be in such close proximity to his idol,
considering the last few moments they had shared together, but he felt no need
to share that with the genki Ryuichi.
It may have seemed a little odd, but this Ryuichi didn't stir up any of the
feelings that the stage Ryuichi did; but the knowledge that they were one in the
same left him still feeling apprehensive. He relaxed a little though, allowing
his body to sink against the wall, and his eyes to stare into Sakuma-san's
curiously.
Before anything else could register, Ryuichi's lips fell upon his own, soft and
puckered as they met Shuichi's moist and tightened lips. For a few seconds, he
allowed his body to drink in the sensation, to taste his role model as he never
had before. Then he threw himself backwards, smashing into the wall behind him
with a harsh thud.
His head span, his eyes widened, his pupils dialated, and his heart was thumping
so loud, he could swear Ryuichi could hear it. That was the last thing he had
expected, and it felt so good, yet so wrong. How was it that the energetic
vocalist could stir up so much within Shuichi with so little? It didn't make any
sense, and that frightened him more than he could ever imagine possible.
"Shuichi..." Sakuma Ryuichi's deep voice echoed in his ears, that expression and
that tone so familiar, and yet so distant. The Sakuma-san that had showed up at
his door was gone, instead the serious, sexy, stage Sakuma knelt before him, his
face mere inches from Shuichi's own.
" A-an-ano.. Sakuma-san..." Shuichi stuttered, skin tingling as the brunette's
warm breath tickling his cheek. The other leaned even closer, sandwiching
Shuichi between himself and the wall that the redhead had so conveniently
propped himself against.
" Shuichi, why hesitate? Doesn't it feel good?" The incredibly charismatic
Ryuichi purred against Shuichi's earlobe, sending shivers up and down the
younger's spine. His hot tongue lashed out against the redhead's earlobe, and
his teeth nibbled at the loose, and sensitive skin as he awaited a response.
Mewling helplessly, Shuichi melted, breath quickening as his stomach seemed to
fill with butterflies, which flapped about more relentlessly than they had at
his concert debut. It was and felt so wrong, while his body sung for more
attention, arching against the minstruations of the elder.
Never before had he felt so desired, so needed; Yuki was never so insistant, so
tender. His words were always harsh and accusatory, his articulate tongue
lashing out more harshly than his fists ever could; however, Sakuma-san used his
for a much more intruiging purpose, melodiously inticing millions.
The brunette's seemingly experienced lips wandered, nipping at the pink haired
man's bare throat with need, and Shuichi hardened just as he had on stage those
few days ago. 'This is WRONG!' His mind hollered, it's voice loud in his ear,
mixed with the music of his heavily beating heart, and their heated breathing.
He had to repeat the thought and order over and over before it registered, shock
obvious on his face and the stiffening of his body.
"Sakuma-san!" Shuichi shouted as he forcefully hurled the elder off of his
aroused body, lifting himself off the ground as he stared in disbelief at the
body that had brought him such pleasure for the second time, breathless. He
didn't know what to say, or how to bring himself to say it; he had betrayed his
love for the second time, and in one week nonetheless.
"Gomen nasai!" He shouted as his legs brought him out of the room at top speed,
tears obstructing his vision, shame clouding the undrawn path that he ran.
'Doshite? Doshite?!'(*why*) he asked himself over and over again, shaking his
head form side to side as he increased the speed of his escape even more.
Crashing with all the force of his running, he flew back, and the form he hit
mirrored the action. Glancing up, tears streaming down his cheeks, he focused on
the individual before him, the other rubbing the back of his head irritably.
Shuichi gaped at the novelist for a few seconds, his voice caught in his
throat." Yu-yuki..." he whispered, the blonde turning his deep, golden eyes on
the tearful Shuichi curiously.
With all of the spotlights on him, and the deep voice of Sakuma-san echoing from
his room behind him, Shuichi did the thing he thought most sensible at the
moment; he ran.
"Shuichi!" Both Yuki and Ryuichi called in unison at the steadily retreating
form, before their eyes met in a stone cold glare. They both knew Shuichi was
not returning, or at least not at the present, and both held one another
responsible.
***End of Chapter Three*** ^-^ This is probably the last chapter I will write
before I go, unless I am hounded by readers, and I am finally on the right track
again. Anxious to hear what you all have to say! Reviews?! ^-~ Luv ya all lots!
Author: Purrmeow
Author's notes: My flight was postponed, (damned certificte of eligibility
hasn't even come yet, so I have no Visa), so I am now able to write and post
chapter three before I leave! YAY! By the way, I would like to thank everyone
out there for the reviews, this is the best response I have ever gotten for my
writing, and it was a great way to break out of my self loathing depression;
Domo arigatou gozaimasu minna! I would also like to apologize for the mix up in
posting the 2nd chapter, I screwed up while posting chapter ten of my Yami no
Matsuei fic, and I thought I fixed it; but it only messed it up more. It's fixed
now, and I hope it's done properly now... I don't have my own internet, so I can
only check when I'm at my friends' house. Either way, thanks for the support,
and read on. I'll miss you all in Japan, and I will write as soon as I get back,
and even keep in touch with all of you if possible.
Chapter Three
His head throbbed, questions tormenting his mind as he attempted to curl into
the smallest ball his body could imagine. He could hear them coming, Hiro's deep
voice rising above the mass of producers, the cries of the fans, and his other
bandmates.
"Shuichi! Shuichi! Where are you Shuichi?!" Volume grew as the door to the
bathroom burst open, and the redhead ran in. " Shuichi!"
It was already too late, Shuichi could sware that he had been spotted, and it
was only a matter of time before Hiro had him. His entire body was shaking as
his arms wrapped protectively around the bishounen. He couldn't remember a time
where he was more afraid; and to think that it was Hiro who induced such fear.
Escape was the only thing on his mind, as the handle on his stall violently
shook, the moment of discovery was iminent.
The pink haired vocalist felt like a trapped animal, every cell tense as
adrenaline pumped through his veins as readily as the blood that filled his
system. Hair standing on end, Shuichi crouched, prepared to strike if the task
became necessary.
The stall door flew open, and behind it an infuriated Hiro heaved, shocked at
the animalistic Shuichi that dashed out from the stall and the washroom in, no
doubt, record speed. A little caught off guard, Hiro blinked a few times. 'Why
is he running?' The red head asked himself with a confused expression. Half of
his body told him to follow the over reacting vocalist; but the other half, his
reasonable side, convinced him that it would potentially be the most harmful
conclusion.
~***~
From behind golden locks, Yuki Eiri's golden eyes glared at the answering
machine; it wasn't everyday that he came home to a hoard of messages, and 24 was
far greater than expected. He knew that something was wrong, but couldn't place
it before pressing the play button.
"Yuki!" The machine cried, Shuichi's hyper tone perfectly replicated. "This is
me, I just wanted to call and say that I think I'll be home early, nothing is
really going on here at work. Either way..." The machine babbled on," I'll see
ya later!"
He felt his mood lighten, and pressing the erase button, proceeded, slightly
curious as to the location of the pink haired man. It was quiet, and although he
was more than welcoming the silence, he almost missed the vocalist's real voice,
in it's melodic tone. Lighting up a cigarette, the blonde fell onto the couch
and listened to the rest of the messages.
The first few were more messages from a bored Shuichi, and Yuki twitched
visably, maybe he didn't really miss the noise as much as he previously
thought... However, the next couple of messages took on quite another tone, and
the date had bumped up two days. Hiro's deep voice filled the room, and not in
his usual calm tone, he sounded enraged as he yelled into the machine.
"Shuichi! Are you there? What happened on stage? Call me as soon as you get
this. It's Hiro, Ja!"
Barely a few minutes later, as indicated by the machine, Hiro's agrevated voice
returned. " Shuichi, I know that your there. Pick up the phone!"
The next twenty messages were basic replicas of the first two, although it were
blatantly obvious that the callers were quickly getting more and more agitated,
to the point where Yuki had to turn down the machine just to tolerate listening.
Having finished with the machine, Yuki rose off of the couch, and proceeded
through the apartment, the answering machine fueling his urgency. "Shuichi!" He
called, still not used to refering to the younger by his name. He threw every
door open, frantically searched through all of the rooms, his anger growing with
every repeated failure. Shuichi was gone, he was no longer in the apartment, nor
the building; Yuki knew there was only one more place the vocalist could have
gone, seeing that all of NG had left messages questioning the whereabouts of the
bishounen.
Lifting his jacket off of the arm of the chair, the blonde proceeded out the
apartment, and into his ebony car, eyes narrowed as he drove along the
unfamiliar path to Shuichi's parent's house.
~***~
Shuichi nearly cowered back into the corner as a curious Sakuma Ryuichi
approached, his blue eyes speculatively glancing at the nervous vocalist. "Why
haven't you been coming to work?" The hyperactive brunette began, kneeling
before the shaking pink haired man, "Did you not have fun at the concert?" His
navy eyes quivered in time with his lip.
" No! It's not that it's just..." Shuichi quickly attempted to recover, hands
waving back and forth before him. He was still a little tense around Sakuma-san,
his feelings for the rock god uncertain, and those for Yuki questionably
wavering. He was deathfully afraid to be in such close proximity to his idol,
considering the last few moments they had shared together, but he felt no need
to share that with the genki Ryuichi.
It may have seemed a little odd, but this Ryuichi didn't stir up any of the
feelings that the stage Ryuichi did; but the knowledge that they were one in the
same left him still feeling apprehensive. He relaxed a little though, allowing
his body to sink against the wall, and his eyes to stare into Sakuma-san's
curiously.
Before anything else could register, Ryuichi's lips fell upon his own, soft and
puckered as they met Shuichi's moist and tightened lips. For a few seconds, he
allowed his body to drink in the sensation, to taste his role model as he never
had before. Then he threw himself backwards, smashing into the wall behind him
with a harsh thud.
His head span, his eyes widened, his pupils dialated, and his heart was thumping
so loud, he could swear Ryuichi could hear it. That was the last thing he had
expected, and it felt so good, yet so wrong. How was it that the energetic
vocalist could stir up so much within Shuichi with so little? It didn't make any
sense, and that frightened him more than he could ever imagine possible.
"Shuichi..." Sakuma Ryuichi's deep voice echoed in his ears, that expression and
that tone so familiar, and yet so distant. The Sakuma-san that had showed up at
his door was gone, instead the serious, sexy, stage Sakuma knelt before him, his
face mere inches from Shuichi's own.
" A-an-ano.. Sakuma-san..." Shuichi stuttered, skin tingling as the brunette's
warm breath tickling his cheek. The other leaned even closer, sandwiching
Shuichi between himself and the wall that the redhead had so conveniently
propped himself against.
" Shuichi, why hesitate? Doesn't it feel good?" The incredibly charismatic
Ryuichi purred against Shuichi's earlobe, sending shivers up and down the
younger's spine. His hot tongue lashed out against the redhead's earlobe, and
his teeth nibbled at the loose, and sensitive skin as he awaited a response.
Mewling helplessly, Shuichi melted, breath quickening as his stomach seemed to
fill with butterflies, which flapped about more relentlessly than they had at
his concert debut. It was and felt so wrong, while his body sung for more
attention, arching against the minstruations of the elder.
Never before had he felt so desired, so needed; Yuki was never so insistant, so
tender. His words were always harsh and accusatory, his articulate tongue
lashing out more harshly than his fists ever could; however, Sakuma-san used his
for a much more intruiging purpose, melodiously inticing millions.
The brunette's seemingly experienced lips wandered, nipping at the pink haired
man's bare throat with need, and Shuichi hardened just as he had on stage those
few days ago. 'This is WRONG!' His mind hollered, it's voice loud in his ear,
mixed with the music of his heavily beating heart, and their heated breathing.
He had to repeat the thought and order over and over before it registered, shock
obvious on his face and the stiffening of his body.
"Sakuma-san!" Shuichi shouted as he forcefully hurled the elder off of his
aroused body, lifting himself off the ground as he stared in disbelief at the
body that had brought him such pleasure for the second time, breathless. He
didn't know what to say, or how to bring himself to say it; he had betrayed his
love for the second time, and in one week nonetheless.
"Gomen nasai!" He shouted as his legs brought him out of the room at top speed,
tears obstructing his vision, shame clouding the undrawn path that he ran.
'Doshite? Doshite?!'(*why*) he asked himself over and over again, shaking his
head form side to side as he increased the speed of his escape even more.
Crashing with all the force of his running, he flew back, and the form he hit
mirrored the action. Glancing up, tears streaming down his cheeks, he focused on
the individual before him, the other rubbing the back of his head irritably.
Shuichi gaped at the novelist for a few seconds, his voice caught in his
throat." Yu-yuki..." he whispered, the blonde turning his deep, golden eyes on
the tearful Shuichi curiously.
With all of the spotlights on him, and the deep voice of Sakuma-san echoing from
his room behind him, Shuichi did the thing he thought most sensible at the
moment; he ran.
"Shuichi!" Both Yuki and Ryuichi called in unison at the steadily retreating
form, before their eyes met in a stone cold glare. They both knew Shuichi was
not returning, or at least not at the present, and both held one another
responsible.
***End of Chapter Three*** ^-^ This is probably the last chapter I will write
before I go, unless I am hounded by readers, and I am finally on the right track
again. Anxious to hear what you all have to say! Reviews?! ^-~ Luv ya all lots!