*Disclaimer* - I don't own the characters, never have done, never will do. Sueing me will earn you all of $5.36 and if you're really that desperate for cash then you can start saving money by getting the hell off the internet. Unless you have a completely free server of course. In which case I envy you greatly. Anyway, on with the fic...

A Love Born of Hate (Part Two)

Solitude and Companionship

I wasn't really sure I wanted to open my eyes, but I did it anyway, squinting them against the bright light. Then I realised there wasn't any bright light, and stopped being such a fool. I painfully raised myself to a sitting position, leaning back against the hard brick wall behind me. My head was beating like a tom-tom. I forced myself to take a look around.

I was in a dingy prison cell, you know the kind: big rusty iron bars, light from a single slit window way up high by the ceiling, tatters of straw on the floor, and perpetual damp and cold. I wrapped my arms around myself, clutching at Tai's tee-shirt with the ends of my fingers. It provided a small comfort, at least.

There was a clunking noise from the other end of the prison; someone was unlocking the heavy oaken door. The iron bars just about cut the room in half, with me on one side and the door on the other. I scowled at the digimon who entered, carfully locking the door behind him just in case. Then he turned around and smiled at me. Don't think he had come to rescue me - it was one of the nastiest and most evil smiles I have ever seen in my life.

"Well, well, what have we here. No, don't tell me - it's Yamato, isn't it? *Dear* little Yamato, all alone with no friends and no digimon, and no digivice or crest either." He gave another cruel smile as I realised in horror that he was right, my digivice and my crest *were* both missing. This was very bad. "No digivice, because we have taken it from you. No crest, because again we have taken it from you. No digimon, because you left him behind. And no friends, because *they* have left *you* behind. Poor little Yamato... his friends have escaped from the big bad castle and left him in the dungeon to his fate. Not even his little brother cared enough to try and save him. Poor, poor Yamato."

I stared at him numbly for a moment, and then it twigged. He was lying. Of course he was lying! Tai and I don't always get along, but he'd never peg out on me. Tai wouldn't peg out on anyone. Just because he hated me, and we always fought, and I always held the group up by challenging every decision he made, didn't mean... well, the others would have come back to get me, at least. They hate my guts and they think I'm a stand-offish snob and an antisocial jerk, and they're right but... Takeru is my brother. I reminded myself that Takeru was loving, was loyal, was faithful, was my *brother*, was...

Frozen.

The numbness crept back into me as I realised that none of them wanted me around, not really. They were all much happier with me out of the way, and at any rate they'd get the job done much quicker without me interfering all the time. They'd gone, and all that had been left to me was Tai's tee-shirt, a reminder of what could never have been. I felt a sob rising in my throat, but I squashed it.

"So you see it is true,"purred the mystery digimon. He went to the door and I stared after him dazedly. He unlocked it, opened it, then turned to face me with a look of utter contempt. "Crest of Friendship - pah!" He swept out and slammed the door behind him. The key rattled in the lock, seemingly a signal for my tears to begin falling. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my head in them, shaking uncontrollably and hitching like a girl. They'd gone, and I was all on my own.

I began to feel the familiar fierce rage building inside me, I scrambled gasping to my feet. I ran to the railings and kicked them as hard as I could, wiping the snot from my nose with the back of my hand. So what? Who cared? I'd never needed them before, how come I was so cut up over not having the losers around now? I wasn't. I reinforced the message with another kick. I'd get out without their help, so the lot of them could sit and swivel on it. I am Ishida Yamato, I told myself, certified loner. I don't need nobody else, and nobody else don't need me no more neither. And I like it fine that way. I retreated to the corner and curled up into a ball, thinking dark thoughts until my eyelids finally fell shut over hate-filled eyes.

* * * * *

Two days passed. I got pieces of stale bread and scraps of what looked like vegetable skins - you know, potato, carrot, that sort of stuff - but even that I didn't get too much of. I got a bit of water, too - I suppose I was lucky, at least they wanted me alive. I didn't feel lucky, though. Mostly I just felt mad, and determined to escape. I had to prove to myself that I didn't need them to get out. Especially not that bastard Tai.

I think I got sick. I remember sneezing and coughing, and hearing things that weren't really there. I remember lying on the floor, boiling hot and yet freezing cold at the same time, sweating, shivering. I thought I could hear Gabumon's voice calling my name. "Matt... Matt... Yamato... Matt..." Over and over again. I opened my eyes blearily but there was nobody there, I figured at the time that my mind must be playing tricks on me. I wondered then why even Gabumon had deserted me. Maybe it was because I didn't have the digivice anymore. Maybe it was just because I'm not a nice person to know. Maybe he had just been waiting for the right time to give me the slip. Maybe any of the above, maybe all. Maybe I didn't care anymore anyway. But I did. I repressed caring, maybe - but I never actually stopped.

During the fever, I lost all track of time. It could have been twenty-four hours, it could have been a week. But I came out of it with no strength left to be mad with and the most desperate feeling of loneliness I have ever experienced in my life. Funny - I had spent the whole time in Digiworld trying to cut myself off from everyone else, and now I was finally alone all that I wanted was to have everyone back. Not that I'd admit it to myself at the time, of course, but I'd have given an arm and a leg just to see them all again. I kicked the railings moodily, but my heart wasn't in it. I just wanted to lie down and die.

I heard the key rattle in the lock of the door and I scowled at it. No doubt my keeper, bringing me the daily scraps that passed for my food. But no keeper swaggered brassily into the dungeon; the door was fully open but nobody stepped through for a moment. Then Tai's head poked round the door, his shock of hair bouncing up and down with the sudden movement. When he saw me, he grinned and waved. I simply stared at him, dumbfounded. It couldn't be real! But it was real - I knew that it was the minute he spoke.

"Hey, Yamato," he whispered. "I've come to get my tee-shirt back!" Then he grinned that cheeky grin of his again and ran over to my cell, deftly sorting through the fat buch of keys he was holding. I could only stammer.

"What... how... why..."

"Let's take those questions one at a time, in that order, and answer them. What - at the moment, I'm desperately trying each and every one of these keys in that lock to try and get you out. How - by getting Greymon to Novablast the pathetic excuse for a guard. He's run off clutching his smoking pants, so we don't have long. As for why - aha!" The gate swung open and Tai dragged me out by one arm. "Like I said, I wanted my tee-shirt back. Oh, and here - your digivice and your crest. I nicked them out of the trophy cabinet in the main hallway. Now let's go!" We headed for the door, and once through it I found myself set upon by... Gabumon.

"Matt! Oh, I'm so glad you're okay! We've gotta get out of here, Matt, come on." Tai, Agumon and Gabumon began to lead me down the corridor. I was still kinda dazed, I couldn't believe Tai had risked so much for me. If I hadn't been able to feel his hand on my elbow like it was made of white-hot iron, I would have sworn I was hallucinating.

"Uh... where are the others?" I asked.

"Outside," Tai replied. "I managed to get them out when we first hatched our little plan. We searched everywhere for you, but it wasn't until DemiDevimon told me you were being imprisoned here that we realised -"

I stopped short, hardly daring to believe my ears. "*WHO* told you I was here?"

"DemiDevimon... why?"

Tai can be such an impulsive little idiot! "Because, you jerk," I hissed fiercely, "if DemiDevimon wanted you to know I'm here, he must have wanted you to rescue me! So, my enormously intellectual digi-dodo comrade, this must be a -"

"Trap." Myotismon leered down at us as he stepped out from behind a corner, a small army of other digimon behind him. "And you have both fallen directly into it. Now I have two digi-destined children instead of just one, and both their digimon to boot. Take 'em away, boys!" He looked directly at me with those sharp, icy eyes of his and pressed his lips together in a thin, cruel smile. "Back to the dungeon you go, boy."

I was mad with Tai. I was so mad, because Myotismon had laid him a trap and he had walked right into it, trying to rescue me - me who had given up on him anyway, faithless child that I was. I wasn't worth it. But what Tai did next threw me completely. He stepped in front of me, as if to protect me from Myotismon, and clenched his fists. "I don't think so," he said in a clear and fierce voice. "You're gonna leave him... us, alone. Let's go, Agumon!"

Pandemonium broke loose at this unexpected rebellion.

"Quickly, get the digimon before they digivolve!"

"Pepperbreath!"

"Gabumon, digivolve to... Garurumon!"

"Agumon, digivolve to... Greymon!"

"Tatterpoke!"

"Howling Blaster!"

"Awk!"

"Novablast!"

"Aargh!"

Greymon's head was nearly touching the ceiling as he shot fireballs in all directions. I looked around for Myotismon, but he seemed to have disappeared. At least, I couldn't see him from where I was standing. But then I suddenly couldn't see anything from where I was standing, as a great cloud of ominous dark green gas filled the corridor. Instantly I clapped a hand over Tai's mouth from behind, inadvertently grabbing him round the waist as I did so. However, this wasn't a time for romantic fantasies, it was a time for getting the hell out of there. "Don't breathe it in!" I yelled at Tai amid the noise and confusion. I felt him nod and let him go. He grabbed me by the wrist and we started trying to push our way through.

"Greymon! Garurumon!" Tai called out, but he couldn't risk wasting precious breath on saying anything else. I could hear Garurumon's faint reply from somewhere behind me.

"Tai... I'm here... Matt... Where... are..." I strained my ears but heard nothing more. I pulled away from Tai's grasp and began heading back into the thickest part of the swirling green fog, but he yanked me round and tried to drag me on.

"Tai, I have to! I can't just..." I had no breath left in me to finish, my head was pounding through lack of oxygen. Tai hesitated for a split second, then pushed me on through the fray. "Go!" he called out to me... and vanished back into gas-cloud in search of my digi-friend. I peered anxiously after him, debating whether or not to follow him up, but then the corridor seemed to tilt to one side and I knew I had to get out fast. Shoving others aside, I scrambled out of the mist and straight into Myotismon's waiting grasp. He lifted me clear off the floor by the back of my (sorry, *Tai*'s) tee-shirt and pushed his blurred face into mine.

"Out of the fat," he whispered, "and into the fire. You're coming with me, boy."

"Tai!" I screamed (yeah, it was a scream), "Get out! Get out of there! Ge - ...oh no. Oh, *no*. No!"

DemiDevimon dragged Tai unconscious out of the smog, shortly followed by the pitiful forms of Tsunomon and Koromon. The gas had forced them to de-digivolve all the way back down to their basic levels. The bat-like digimon frisked Tai for his crest, digivice and telescope, and Myotismon similarly relieved me of *my* crest and digivice. Once he had procured those items, though, he didn't bother checking my back pocket, which still contained my precious harmonica. Not that music would help me escape... at least, not physically. Tai had been caught, and it was all my fault.

* * * * *

I sat lonely in my cell, warbling out an old country and western on my harmonica. I had bunched up a little straw underneath Tai's head, but other than that I figured the only thing I could do was wait for him to wake up. As for our digimon... well, I didn't know where the hell they were. Without us, they would be unable to digivolve anyway, and as the puny Koromon and Tsunomon they didn't stand a chance of escaping. Here we would all stay until the next hapless member of our group mounted a rescuse mission that was doomed to failure before it had even started. Eventually they would have all seven of us, and then... I shuddered. I didn't even want to think about what would happen then.

I brought the harmonica down from my lips and stared off across the room thoughtfully. No prizes for guessing who I was thinking about. But the line that kept replaying in my mind, over and over like a jingle from a TV commercial that you can't get out of your head, was the one that Tai had said just after we had run into Myotismon.

"You're gonna leave him... us, alone... You're gonna leave him... us, alone..."

I would have been happy enough if he had just said *us*, happier still if he had said *him*, because it looked as though he was finally accepting me as a friend. That meant more to me than anything in the world. More than my pride, I knew that then. It was only my pride itself that had kept me from seeing it before. Perhaps it meant even more than Takeru, I didn't know. My perfectly neat, ordered and controlled lifestyle had been completely blown apart, and I wasn't sure of anything much anymore.

But why say one, then correct himself with the other? As though I wasn't meant to hear that he cared about me, even if it was just as a friend. As though it were a slip of the tongue, a secret maybe. He was acting almost like me, pretending he didn't care about me at all. So there wouldn't be a chance of me thinking the truth. What truth? Maybe that he cared about me much, much, much more than he was letting on...

"NO!"

I yelled the word aloud, thumping my fist onto the concrete floor. I had to be wary of this, I had known for a long time that it might happen. That I might start to delude myself, trying to tell myself that Tai loved me back, living in a fantasy world. Raising my hopes, maybe even fooling myself to the point where I felt it was time to confess my feelings. And then... all hell would break loose. I couldn't let myself fall into that trap. It was a lethal one. This was getting beyond a joke, it was becoming dangerous. Enough, Cupid, you've had your fun, I thought. Time for me to fall out of love. I hardened my heart and built a strong shell of resolve around me. I was going to fall out of love with Tai *right now*. I turned to look at him with narrow eyes, and he just led there. Sweet and innocent, calm and peaceful, not even *doing* anything, dammit, but still the shell dissolved, my heart melted and my eyes went all dewey. It was hopeless. I was madly in love with Tai and there was nothing I, nor anyone else for that matter, could do about it. Once again, I put my head on my knees and wept.

"Get over yourself, Matt," I snuffled. "The d-day Myotismon dances the hokey-cokey in a pink t-tutu is the day that you and Tai get to-g-gether." I ran my fingers through my scruffy hair, and felt like tearing it out. of my scalp. Rip. Just like that. Great big clumps of Matt-hair strewn across the cell floor. More straw for Tai! I thought, slightly hysterically. In an effort to maintain my grip on reality, I brought my harmonica back to my lips, but the only sounds I could produce were tuneless sobbing blasts. I gave up and allowed it to clatter to the floor like so much junk. I collapsed miserably onto one side and sobbed unashamedly into a world that wasn't listening and didn't care.

I think I had a breakdown that day. Maybe not a huge one, not very big at all, in fact, but I'm positive that's what it was. I was aware of time passing, but not of just how much - a few hours, maybe. I was too depressed to be bored. At one point I even looked around the bare cell for something with which to end my miserable existence, but there was nothing. Whether I would have gone ahead and committed suicide if there had been I still don't know, but I believe that, in that state, the human being is capable of anything. Including - *especially* - self-destruction.

Eventually, I gradually began to come out of it. The sobs became less, as did the tears, and I found I could pull myself back into a sitting position. I couldn't check on the time, but I figured had been off the planet for a good two and a half hours. Maybe I had just needed to escape for a while, I dunno, and going plain crazy was the only way I could. Well, it was over. Ishida is back in the driving seat, I told myself wearily. And he's drivin' good. Drivin' good I might be, but feelin' good I was not. There was actually a medium-sized puddle of tears on the floor where I had been crying for a hundred and fifty minutes solid. I rubbed at my eyes with the heel of my hand and sniffed a bit. Jeez, what a baby.

Tai suddenly sat bolt upright, nearly giving me a heart attack. "Man, what the hell...?"

"Welcome to Hotel Dungeon," I joked wearily, keeping my head down so he wouldn't see my red eyes. Not that he would have probably been able to in the dim light anyway, but I wasn't taking any chances. "If you need anything, please feel free to shout for it. You'll receive a smack in the mouth for your efforts."

"Man..." Tai was shaking his head slowly. "I feel rough." He took a good look around, then asked, "Where're Agumon and Gabumon?"

"I don't have a clue where *Koromon* and *Tsunomon* are," I replied calmly. Tai looked at me disbelievingly.

"You know, Yamato -" *MATT!* I screamed silently "- I honestly don't know how you can be like that."

I cringed inwardly. I really didn't want to fight with Tai, not now, but I felt powerless to stop it. "Like what?"

"Our digimon are de-digivolved, we're captured with no hope of escape, and all our friends are going to be captured soon too, including Takeru - your brother, Takeru! And you just don't care!"

Oh, I care all right, I thought. Just because I don't show it, doesn't mean I don't care. I didn't say that though, of course. Instead I said, "If I got all het up like you, would it help?"

Tai thumped the floor. "Dude, you're so COLD all the time! Takeru is up there crying his eyes out because he wants to see his brother, he misses you, man, and you're down here like I-don't-give-a-shit! I know you *don't* give a shit about the rest of us, but you do about Takeru and we all know it. There's nothing wrong with caring, man, so why pretend that you don't all the time? It's not tough, it's not cool. It's just stupid!"

That did it. I launched myself at him, took him by surprise and wrestled him to the floor. He was struggling hard, but I had the advantage and he knew it. "Take it back!" I yelled. Go on, take it back!"

"Man, I only said you were stupid and I say that all the time! What's with you?"

"Not that! The other thing!"

"WHAT other thing?"

But it wasn't anything he'd called me that got me mad, it was an observation he'd made. That I did care, but I tried to hide it. God knows why he bothered, but slowly and surely Tai was beginning to figure me out, to understand me. And that was what I wanted him to take back. I don't want to be understood, just to be left alone, but Tai evidently wasn't going to let that happen. He looked up at me with suspiscious dark eyes, and I swallowed hard. Those eyes scared the hell out of me. Just watch me get to the bottom of this, they said. Our eyes bored into eachother's, and I kept mine filled with as much hate as was possible. I didn't know whether Tai was much good at reading the expressions in people's eyes, he hadn't seemed the observant type. Until now, that is. For a fraction of a second, I thought I saw something in his eyes that was - well, I couldn't tell. It was there and gone in a flash. His face hardened again, and when he spoke it was with complete lack of emotion.

"Dude, you're shaking."

It was another observation of weakness, the stuff I tried to hide and pretended I didn't have. "No I'm not." It was a ridiculously obvious lie - I was trembling like a leaf.

"Man, look at yourself! What is with you?" I muttered something unintelligible and made to roll off, but Tai hadn't finished with me yet. He shoved me over and pinned me down, and I didn't have the strength to fight him. I was beginning to feel like crying - again. Man, I am so screwed up. "All right, Yamato, out with it. What's your problem?"

"You," I snarled. It wasn't a lie. Tai gave a yell of indignance and frustration.

"Man, I saved your ass back there!"

"Yeah... and you did it so well that I'm now sat captured in a dungeon."

"Christ, talk about a lack of gratitude! At least I tried, which is probably more than you'd do for me!"

"Probably," I agreed, smirking. He had no idea that I'd go to the end of the world - either world - hell, BOTH worlds! - for him. That got him mad, though. His eyes were almost shooting sparks at me, and I couldn't look at them any longer. I closed my eyes.

"Yamato, dammit, look at me when I'm talking to you!"

I couldn't. My eyes were tired of always disguising how I really felt, and they wouldn't do it anymore. So I had to keep them closed.

"DAMMIT, NOW!"

I was sick of resisting, sick of hiding it. Tai wanted me to look at him, fine. What would happen would happen.

"That's more like it! Now... Yamato? Have you been -"

"Have I been what?" I asked dully.

"Well, uh... crying?"

Oh, that was good. Have I been crying. I gave him the chance to see into my soul, to realise what I felt. What he did was his choice, I had thrown myself upon his mercy. Even if he had just been disgusted and vowed never to talk to me again, it would have at least cleared the air. But no, he hadn't even noticed. Just had I been crying.

"Uh..."

"Tai? Matt? Are you guys down there?" The light was blocked, and the voice was coming from where it once had shone. "Guys?"

Tai rolled off me swiftly, with a guilty expression on his face. Guilty? I thought. We fight all the time. Why is he guilty about it now? Probably doesn't want to worry his precious *Sora*, I concluded. I hate her. Not that she was any contendor as far as romance was concerned, everyone else thought they would end up dating eventually but I could see they were just good friends. Sora might want something more one day, but Tai definitely wasn't interested. No, it was their strong friendship I was jealous of. They always support eachother, and laugh at eachother's jokes, and all that other friendship stuff. I'd have killed for a friendship that strong with Tai. For a friendship of any kind with Tai.

"We're down here! Is that you, Sora?"

"Uh huh. Don't worry, we'll have you out in no time."

"Sora, it's a trap! They want you all to rescue us so they can capture you too. They're expecting you!"

"Maybe. But they're not expecting this. Stand back!"

We scrambled out of the way, as a bellow of "Harpoon Torpedo!" filled the air. There was an explosion and the opposite wall shattered. Chunks of brick flew in all directions, I grabbed Tai and pulled him to my chest as a brick imbedded itself in the wall where his head had been a digi-second before. He stayed there for a moment - frozen in shock, I guess - then jerked away, eyeing me suspisciously. "Dude..." then his face cleared, and he punched me on the arm. "Thanks. I owe you one."

"No..." I took a deep breath, then just said it. "We're even. I owed you from when you tried to get me out before - I was wro -" *Say* it, Matt! I commanded. "I was wrong to yell at you when you were just helping me. I'm, uh... sorry."

Tai stared at me in amazement. "Dude! Will wonders never cease?"

"Don't push it, kid," I growled. Secretly, though, I was pleased - he had noticed what a sacrifice it had been, and I think he accepted my apology.

"Guys, come on! Get out of there!" Sora called. We grinned at eachother, and began climbing the rubble. Tai got ahead of me, then reached back to give me a hand. I gave him a look - you know, I am big and tough and I don't need no help - so he rolled his eyes, grabbed my wrist and pulled me up anyway. We reached the top hand in hand, and I felt like exploding with happiness. It was official, we were friends.

"Matt!" screeched Takeru. "Oh Matt, I -"

"Hold it right there." Shadows fell over all seven kids and five digimon - Myotismon and DemiDevimon leading an entire army of virus digimon. Looming over all of them was Megastatumon. He leaned down to us and bellowed.

"FREEZIWIND!"

Tai threw himself flat on the floor beside me, and the digimon protected each of their partners with their own personal attack. But as for me...

A deathly cold enveloped my body, freezing my mind and senses. Hearing was last to go, I heard Tai scream my name in terror.

"MMAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!!!"

He called me Matt, I realised dimly. Wow. It was the last thing I thought before I toppled stiffly to the floor.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Well, that's part two and, as you can see, it's still not finished. Don't ask me how many parts there are going to be because I don't know any more than you do! Me write more, oui? =D -Kae Ti xx