pureVENOM: Oy, I believe I forgot to put a lesson in for the eariler chapter. Um...
Lesson of Da Previous Chapter: Tenn and Tak don't like each other good.
^.^ Alrighty! Well, "GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff" and "Di'b Wonderful Life of Doom" were certainly enlightening! OMG, the "Dance with us, GIR... Dance with us into oblivion..." was just SOOOOO FREAKING CREEEEPPY!!! And they played like, a remix of the Carne Beat!! Oh, and the muffin... I sigh in sheer bliss.
Yes, *RogueStar*, at seeing Invader Tenn at the short length of time that we were given in "MegaDoomer", I feel that she DOES scream a lot, no? Quite hysterically, too.
Tak, I feel, however, is much more composed and calm. I mean, she DOES scream too, but much less. Whadda you think??
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Chapter Fifteen: A Nifty Lunch
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Tak turned to see the idiot trio's fleeing backs in the distance. She watched them quietly as they disappeared. Then suddenly, she frowned. "Yeah, that's right! Run at the speed of wind! No, at the speed of LIGHT, Zim! Someday..."
The darkly dressed Irken slunk away, to the neighboring street, where she lived.
*** Zim's Earthen base
"MASTER! MASTER, MASTER, MASTEEERR!!!" cried a shrill voice.
Zim grimaced as he continued into the base. "Yes, GIR!? What is it?!"
The SIR blinked his lovely green 'eyes'. "Um.... Wait, uh...."
Zim tapped his black-clad foot in impatience.
"Oh YEAH!!" GIR shouted happily, closing his optics. "The nice-neighbor man invited us to a paaaaarttteeee!!!" He whipped out a black and red card from his head.
Zim narrowed his eyes after peeling off the diguise-lenses and snatched up the paper. " 'Part-tee'??" The Irken spun on a heel and addressed his computer. "Computer! What is this... 'PAR-TEE'...??"
The computer blooped a bit, then replied. "It is a congregation of Humans. They revel with joy and... stuff. ....Oh yeah, and usually there's poopcorn!"
Zim cringed. CRINGING, was he!! "Computer, WHY are they 'reveling with joy' at these 'part-tees'?"
"Welll.... I don't knooow..." was the slow response.
The Irken scowled angrily at the unwanted answer. "WHAT!? What you you MEAN, you DON'T KNOW!? You've BEEN downloading data from that DESpicable Huuuman invention, the 'internet', for FIVE years, HAVEN'T YOU??"
"Ummm..... Data insufficient," the computer answered quickly and nervously.
Zim was about ready to burst. Like a tea kettle on the stove for a long time. Today is a valde bad day, no? Water, attack from Tenn, being 'saved' by the enemy Tak, et cetera.
"Alright... Computer, make an educated guess, will you??"
"Err.... ...No..?"
A sigh. "I meant about the joyous REVELING."
"Oh. That. Um, okay.... The Humans are... celebrating the anniversary of... the creation of rootbeer, and they use origomi paper fans to do so, blowing ...AIR... um, across the... Atlantic Ocean, home of the sunken city... and give their thanks to the beings of the Underworld...?" the computer quickly thought up.
Zim blinked. "Fascinating! An 'UNDERWORLD'?? 'Sunken CITY'?? 'ORiGOMi'?? Hm..."
The Irken skittered towards to front door on his mech-legs, folded them up, and replaced the contact lenses. "I shall GO to this 'part-tee' and conduct some research on Human reveling-behavior of rootbeer. GIR! You are invited as well, you said?" He made a sharp 'come' gesture, and headed outside.
GIR, who had been occupied and quiet during the whole time, unwittingly terrifing with a solitary scouter ant, leapt up. "G'BYE, BUGGY!!" he shrieked, not realizing that when he got up, he'd smashed the tiny creature with his foot.
The adorable SIR slipped into his puppy-suit and quick-walked outside with his master, making a cute squeaking sound at every step.
*** The Dib house, well, actually it's 'The Professor House', isn't it??
Dib wiped a drop of sweat from his brow as he entered his home.
Safety at last... Well, actually, not really. Gaz would probably find some sort of nonsensical reason to half-destroy him.
While the paranormalist tried to tiptoe his way behind the living room sofa, where his scary sister sat seated in front of the TV, she suddenly stood up.
Dib cringed in terror, and tried to make a run for it. The twin black tails of his trench flapping audibly behind him like a fleeing bird's wings.
Gaz speeded up, wispy clouds of greyish smoke trailing behind her. She tore in front of her running brother and took hold of his T-shirt collar sharply. Gaz brought her other fist up, and drew it back slowly.
Dib shut his eyes tightly, waiting for the painful pummeling, but none came. Still, he figured Gaz was just up to some new beating-up-Dib-to-a-bruised-pulp method. He left his eyes closed.
"Open your stupid eyes," Gaz commanded with a low growl. "Stupid," she added.
Dib slowly opened one eye and glanced at his sister. Then, he opened the other. "Um... yes..?"
Gaz still held her big brother by the collar, and her fist quivered in the air, as if to sock him. But instead, it opened up to reveal a crumpled red and black what seemed to used to be a card.
The violent violet-haired girl looked over the balled-up dark paper. "Hm. It's a little wrinkled, but it's an invitation to lunch with that one tall, kewl guy."
'One tall, kewl guy'...? Dib strained his mind to think of whom Gaz was speaking of. Then, he remembered. Fuzzily, at first, but as he pictured the strange, dark mansion that had suddenly appeared down the street, and the whole Mind Delver incident, the image of Johnny quickly sharpened.
"Lunch??" he asked to make sure.
"Yeah, LUNCH," Gaz spat at him, and glaring at him as if he were a MORON. "Stupid ears..." she mumbled as she stalked towards the front door. She stopped abruptly, and turned as Dib began to follow her, and WHAPPED him upside the head.
Dib fell and rubbed his now bruised forehead. "Hey! Gaz, what was THAT for!?"
"For being STUpid, as usual." She rose her fist in a very menacing way. "And another for running from me when I was trying to tell you about the invitation."
Smack! "OW! ARGH, MY BRAINMEATS!!"
*** Faust's Earthen base
Fausta trudged slowly into her dark home tiredly, her large wings wrapped round her shoulders. The Onyx Wing shrugged her back-pack off, by the sofa, and collapsed onto the carpetted ground.
"Huh. Heavier fall than usual?" Faust commented with a frown, and he took a swig of Cherry Poop.
"I'm soooo tired today, Faust! I dunno why! AND my morphing isn't... well, MORPHING!!" She put her arms across her face absentmindedly.
Faust put on a thoughtful look. "Uh.. Huh... Well, that's weird."
"YEAH, it's 'WEIRD'!!" she cried in response. "WHAT DO I DO???"
A shrug. "See Marcellus or sumthin'."
: ( "Why don't YOU ever do anything for me, Faust! You're supposed to be FAMILY!! AND my instruc-!" Fausta complained.
The house's computer main screen in the living room flickered to life in front of the two Wings. "Mistress, I hope I'm not interrupting, but I believe the master has forgotten to tell the you about the invitation? I mean, he only GOT it about three minutes ago."
The Onyx Wing scowled. "Compy, you DID interrupt me, and you KNOW it!"
"Yeah, yeah, ANYway! Master."
Faust blinked in confusion. "Um... Oh yeah!" He fished a slightly wrinkled red and black card from a pocket of his robes he wore outside of his silvery armor. "That John-or-whatever neighbor invited us to lunch. I'm not coming though."
Fausta sat up with some effort. "Quid?? Quid non?? (What?? Why not??) That's SO mean!"
Faust shook his head with an apathetic sneer. "Valde." (Exceedingly/Very.)
"Whatever, Faust! Eo," (I'm going.) she growled and left, after grabbing and pocketing an unopened Cherry Poop from the small sofa table nearby.
The Nny-Human was rather interesting and nice! So, she really wanted to come to this lunch, with or without Faust. Preferably withOUT. Yepperz!
*** Outside the Nny-house
Fausta recoiled in both shock and disgust when she saw the five at the house before her. "What are YOU all doing here!?"
Dib put on a 'duh' look. "Um, we were INVITED here??" He held up a large fruit basket of various vegetables which he brought as a gift.
Gaz stood rather far from her brother, dark and looming under the veiny shadows of the property's many bare trees. "Yeah, so why don't we go INSIDE?"
GIR did a little dance in anticipation. "Yaaay!! I'm gunna get da doorrr!!!" and the SIR leapt up and used the nice brass knocker on the front door. It was carved in the shape of Happy Noodle Boy, and shone faintly under the light, thought it was a very bright afternoon.
The massive cherry wood-looking doors creaked slowly open, everyone (except Gaz and GIR) watching in slight fear. It was, afterall, a very eerie place.
"Greetings, everyone!" a happy, soft voice cried out. Johnny stood at the open doorway with a cheery gesture. A darkness awaited the guests past the front doors, several candles and torches in sconces lighting the place up with a nifty golden luminescence.
"Please, come in! Wow, you didn't have strange, large, in-Humanish, yet very neat-looking wings before, right?" he asked to Fausta.
"Ah, um... Yeah, they just appeared one day! Ah, you know how that is," she replied, not making much sense at all.
The five guests exchanged glances and headed inside. Well, GIR, actually, ran inside and hugged Johnny's thin, booted shins.
"I loooves you!!" the little robot sniffed, tears welling up, one dropping onto one of Nny's boots.
The dark man's smile broadened, and he lifted up the green-puppy bot. The metal was unEarthenly light, making GIR easy to carry. He'd been disappointed that the tall winged person hadn't come, but the appearance of the others, and the sheer sweetness of GIR took his mind away from the thought.
"Wheeee-hee-HEE!!" GIR shrieked in joy. He kicked his little legs cutely and nuzzled his green head against Nny's T-shirted chest. "Le'sgo eat, nice-neighbor man!!"
"Alrighty, talking-robot-puppy! What's your name, anyway?"
"Mmm.... GIR!!" the SIR giggled.
"Oh yeah! That's right!" Johnny crooned and stroked the greenly disguised robot's head.
The hallway was carpetted with deep crimson in irregular splotches, so that it seemed to have been a white rug before, but was splattered with buckets of blood, and the walls were covered with knives and daggers of all sorts. They seemed arragned in no particular order.
Gaz wore a 'oh, neat' expression as she looked over the arsenal of a hall.
He led everyone to the kitchen.
The room was rather small, compared to the house's total size. Tiles of the color of brackish water-- a sort of translucent/transparent light brown mixed with black covered the floors and sections of the walls. Where there were no darkish tiles on the walls, there was a nice thick coat of black paint, but in some areas it seemed that someone had been carving drawings and words into the wall, and paint was peeling and flaking off in other areas, revealing wooden boards.
A sink, and kitchen appliances of brushed chrome glowed dully with the light from the scones. Intricate patterns of wispy dragonish and elfin creatures bordered the doors and small, stained-glass windows of garnet, obsidian, and topaz. The gem-colored pieces of glass were arranged in random and simple designs. Fausta wondered if Nny had made them so that they'd be real precious stones.
The house, a strange mixture of extravagance and simplicity, was created of Johnny's twisted mind, his memory of his former home, and his knowledge of more eye-appealing ones.
A table of mahogony-looking wood was covered in plates, cups, and utensils, and various food and drink.
"Hm," Gaz complimented. "Nice."
"Yeah, it looks real nifty, huh??" Fausta smiled. "I LOVE these lights, Nny! Wow, we NEVER have fire back at home. Everything's water, water, wat..." she continued on in the background about how she liked the place.
Zim snorted in disdain. He disliked the 'primitive' lights and the 'dirty'-looking tiles, and pretty much everything. "Hmph. This had better be worthy of ZIM's time," he growled and shifted his wig. The Irken shuddered at the thought of Humans celebrating rootbeer and praising the Underworld inhabitants.
Dib was busying complimenting Nny's taste in clothing. (They both like black trenches and dark clothes, apparently.) He handed his host the fruit basket of vegetables.
Nny blinked as he accepted the gift. "..Thanks..." He wiped a single tear from his left eye. "I love carrots and turnips..!" He patted the big head boy on the head.
GIR leapt up the kitchen table and grabbed a Cherry Fiz-Wiz by him. "MmMM!! WIZZY!!!" He slurped it up. "Heehee!! Tastes lika reeeed taco!"
Johnny and Dib stepped over to the table, and soon everyone was seated.
"Well, I'd like to thank you for inviting us to your house for lunch, Johnny," Dib said politely, using his best of manners.
Zim was engaged in carefully examing the foods Nny had served for his guests through some large, Irken magnifying glass and taking notes.
Gaz silently, and contentedly sipped at a Classic Poop.
Fausta and GIR, knowing pretty much nothing of Human manners, were digging in. Everything, except for the Poop was cherry-flavored, they noticed, and was very tasty.
"Oh, it's my pleasure." Nny shook his head; his usually messy, scraggly hair, was neatly combed to a side. "It's certainly a nice change from what I usually do. Oh, what a painful-looking bruise. I haven't seen one that large and dark in a while!" he said, looking at Dib's head.
"It HAD to be large to accomadate his huge head properly," Gaz said between a sip.
"Oh I suppose that DOES make sense," Nny mused.
Dib frowned a bit.
The two continued their delightful conversation, when Fausta suddenly noticed that the fruit-basket of vegetables Dib had, was now with Nny. She wondered... Should she give something to Johnny as well? She didn't want the DIB-Human to seem better than her, and she also wanted to be nice to the kewl Nny-mortal.
Suddenly, she heard it--
"Haha, yeah. Isn't it the weirdest thing?? The convenience stores are ALWAYS out of Poop!" Dib said, to switch the topic of the conversation AWAY from his massive head.
"Well, that has nothing to do with your skull, but yeah. Not very convenient, huh?" Johnny added. "I wonder who gets all that soda. I was lucky there were a few cans of Classic Poop left, for you guys."
"Oh, well, thanks. It tastes great!" Dib took a sip of Poop to show his gratitude. "Just like Poop!"
"Heh, yeah, but I personally, am not really fond of Classic Poop. The flavor's too sharp. It stings more than a 75-watt battery." He grimaced at the Poop. "I would've gotten a Cherry Ice-Sucky, or a Brainfreezy instead, but I was afraid they'd melt and get all watery before you guys got here. Wow, I wish I had a Cherry Poop right now."
Fausta blinked. 'A cherry Poop right now.' She took the soda in her pocket out. "I have one for you, Nny!"
GIR was suddenly caught up in this spirit of giving, and decided he wanted to give something to Johnny as well.
Zim chose at this moment to stop with his looking at food. "..."
"GIR!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" he cried.
And for a reason, too. GIR was pulling off his dog hood and opening up his robot head.
"Be quiet, Zim," Gaz ordered quietly. "We all KNOW that your 'DOG' is a robot."
"We-w-rrrgh!!" Zim sputtered, and growled. "That sliver of knowledge was ALREADY property of Zim's vast miiind, Gaz-beast! I was merely... uh... TESTING GIR!"
"Riiight, Zim," Dib stated sarcastically.
GIR pulled a rubber moose from his head. "Moosey! Nice-neighbor, meet Moosey! He'sa MOOSE!" The SIR giggled and handed it to Nny who took it with an 'aww' expression, which was rather new to him. "I want you to keep Moosey!" GIR announced happily.
"Hello, Moosey. I am Johnny," the tall man said to the rubber toy, as he stood holding the thing. "But I prefer that you call me Nny."
He listened for a reply from the moose, but found only silence. He shrugged.
"Thank you, GIR! I shall treasure Moosey always, though he's a bit tactiturn, isn't he?"
"Tac-ee-turnnn.. tacee... TACOOOOOES!!!" the silly SIR exclaimed. He hugged Johnny again. "Heheee!!"
Nny laughed a bit. "Very affectionate for such a small robot, isn't he?" he asked to Zim.
The Irken however, wasn't paying attention, for he was busy noting the behavior of the Humans. He snapped his head up. "Wha!? Hnm!? Did say something to ZIM, reveling Nny-Human??"
"Well, yes..." he replied, a bit disappointed Zim hadn't been listening.
"Oh, ..uh, yes! GIR is..." Zim started. The words 'made out of junk' came to mind, but of course, Zim would never say something like that about GIR. He's not THAT evil. I mean, look, he promised the moon to GIR!! (Tak: The Hideous New Girl) Isn't that just SWEET??
"GIR is VERY advanced for his line of robots! His AI chip is programmed to be um... like... very SMART. Yeees," Zim lied in explanation. "That is why he is such a-- ARGH!! A DIGUSTING BEEF-WEASIL!!!"
There were some confused looks until everyone noticed a valde large ferret gnawing on Zim's head, where a Human ear would be.
"MASTER!! MASTEEER!!" GIR sobbed hysterically.
Zim had gotten the ferret under control with a bit of violent strangling.
"MAAAASTEEERR!!!" GIR continued, his tears flooding the ground around him.
Zim blinked and rubbed his stingy head. "GIR, I'm alright!"
"WHHYYY, MASTER!?! I LOVE-ED YOU!! WHY DID DA MONGOOSE TAKE YOU AWAY!?? WHY NOT THE GOOSE!? OR THE MON!!??" GIR continued. He looked up. "Oh, hiya, Master!!" He jumped up and hugged Zim's face.
"GIR, GET OFF MY FACE!!" the Irken cried, his voice muffled.
Everyone had to laugh at this scene. It was just to random and weird. Sigh, and the lunch was so normal, for a while, huh??
"Hey, where'd that rat-monster come from anyway??" Fausta asked to no one in particular.
"It'sa MONgoose," GIR corrected incorrectly.
"No, it's NOT." Dib frowned. "It's a FERRET. And it's too big to be a normal ferret."
"Dib, that's not a valde nive thing to say!" Fausta scolded. "What if someone just came up to you and said 'Your head's to be to a be a normal Huuuuman's.'??"
The paranormalist cocked a brow. "People already have been saying that to me for years."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."
"I brought that thing in here!!" shouted a voice from a hole in the ceiling that wasn't there just a minute ago.
Tak leapt in.
She wore her Human disguise, and her SIR followed smoothly behind in 'cat' form. (Whoo, I THINK it's supposed to be a cat.)
"I was just taking this genetically altered freak of natural ferret out for a walk here." She glanced at the knocked-out creature at Zim's feet. "But I guess it's not going to be walking much for a while, huh?"
"Aw, did you HAVE to slice a hole through my roof??" Nny asked. "Was that REAALLY necessary??"
Tak shrugged. "Actually, it was. I tried going through the front doors, then the back ones, each of your fifty-one tiny windows, the cellar entrance, the twenty-five basement air vents, and the three chimmneys, but your creepy defense system kept getting in the way. But for some reason, the roof idea worked."
Remember all the creepy bare trees outside? Well, they're not really trees. When an intruder of intruding intentions comes by, the 'trees' grow (literally) tons of metallic tentacles and attempt to strangle the daylights out of the person. It's valde fun to watch.
"Oh." Nny blinked. "Well, good job, I guess."
Tak waved a dismissive hand. "It was nothing." She thought about that. "No, actually, it was very annoying."
Her SIR, Me-Mi lashed out with his whip-like tail, to show his own irritation.
"Could you please shut off your house's defenses from now on?" she asked. Not using her mind-controlling abilites too, just to let you know. Not that it probably would've worked. Nny's valde smart.
"Oh, sorry. Sure, I don't need them anyway," Johnny complied. The sound of something huge powering down was heard all around.
"So what did you come breaking and entering in here for?" Johnny asked, not-angrily, but curiously.
"Oh, just some intended homicide (beating-up Zim), larceny (stealing his job), and destruction of others' property (the hole in Nny's roof, and her planning to doom GIR)," Tak shrugged. "And maybe some murdering." (Dib and Fausta. x_x;;)
"Oh, well, don't going getting yourself into trouble now, young lady," Nny warned nicely. He glanced at the clock above, which by the way had Roman numerals (^.^).
"ARGH, it's almost time for the marathon for my favorite show! I must ask you all to leave now," Johnny said reluctantly. "I completely forgot about it. You see, I'm having the house lock itself up so that nothing disturbs me during the marathon. I don't wanna keep you all mewed up in here, so you should go. Sorry, kids."
Tak nodded. "Hm, well, I SUPPOOOSE my dooming can wait. You all got lucky today!" she called to her rivals. The female Irken and her 'cat' leapt back through the hole in the ceiling, and out of sight. ...Well, Tak tried to in any case.
"ARRRGHH!!" she came crashing back down. "What WAS that thing!?" She brushed herself up, and tried to find her aerial attacker.
Me-Mi slammed into the ground by her, fizzing and crackling.
Tak narrowed her eyes. "That flying yellow monster..."
Zim and Fausta perked up, old memories stirred, and they heard the evil song above--
"La lala lala lala lala lala lalaaa...!!"
They shuddered.
Nny helped Tak up. "You, know, you CAN use the front door if you want."
"Sure. Thanks." And Tak headed for the door.
Well, a lunch time has passed, and all the guests bid a nice goodbye to their kindly host as they leave.
Any normal person watching then go would've been apathetic and/or stupidly oblivious to the earless and noseless green boy, and his lime-green dog with a zipper at his neck. The person however, probably WOULD notice Fausta's dark wings, and cry for "Animal Control, there's an emu on the loose!" And the deathly pale Gaz with her pendant walking silently by, playing her GSMIV she'd pulled from her pocket, and her humungous-headed brother babbling about monsters and aliens would rise some brows.
While, any normal person from OUR world, somehow evilly ignorant of Invader Zim, would just have been completely weirded out watching the strange party going by, and most likely call the police, ...or a circus owner.
Zim fans would be freaked out and ecstatic, and probably end up chasing the Irken to his house, only to get pummeled by his guard-gnomes.
Zim-haters (OMG, ARE there any??) would likewise, also, end up chasing Zim to his house, and getting pummeled by his gnomes.
NNY, however, watching his guests go, could only see a bunch of sweet bickering children leaving after lunch. It wasn't an unpleasant sight. It was actually, strangely free of the rot, filth, and stink he normally saw-- a very favorable change.
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pureVENOM: Oy! That only took half of forever to write! Naw, more like... hm, it's embarrassing to say how many hours. -_-;;
Da Lesson of This Chapter: Don't jump through holes in your ceiling without looking boths ways. There's bound to be an evil death-bee waiting to pummel you and your robot-cat.
The mentioning of the sunken city in the Atlantic Ocean, I believe will lead to something in a future chapter, as will the flamingoes' conspiring, and revenge of the bullies. Also, the Underworld idea is going to become a rather large thing, for this fic, I believe. I've been wanting to write something for it for a while, since this weird idea popped into my head. Maybe next chapter. Vale!
*ahem* HIYA, *RogueStar*!!!!!!! ^.~ I can see ya!! ...Well, actually, no I can't, but whatever! ....I'm gonna write the chapter title and save now!
Lesson of Da Previous Chapter: Tenn and Tak don't like each other good.
^.^ Alrighty! Well, "GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff" and "Di'b Wonderful Life of Doom" were certainly enlightening! OMG, the "Dance with us, GIR... Dance with us into oblivion..." was just SOOOOO FREAKING CREEEEPPY!!! And they played like, a remix of the Carne Beat!! Oh, and the muffin... I sigh in sheer bliss.
Yes, *RogueStar*, at seeing Invader Tenn at the short length of time that we were given in "MegaDoomer", I feel that she DOES scream a lot, no? Quite hysterically, too.
Tak, I feel, however, is much more composed and calm. I mean, she DOES scream too, but much less. Whadda you think??
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Chapter Fifteen: A Nifty Lunch
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Tak turned to see the idiot trio's fleeing backs in the distance. She watched them quietly as they disappeared. Then suddenly, she frowned. "Yeah, that's right! Run at the speed of wind! No, at the speed of LIGHT, Zim! Someday..."
The darkly dressed Irken slunk away, to the neighboring street, where she lived.
*** Zim's Earthen base
"MASTER! MASTER, MASTER, MASTEEERR!!!" cried a shrill voice.
Zim grimaced as he continued into the base. "Yes, GIR!? What is it?!"
The SIR blinked his lovely green 'eyes'. "Um.... Wait, uh...."
Zim tapped his black-clad foot in impatience.
"Oh YEAH!!" GIR shouted happily, closing his optics. "The nice-neighbor man invited us to a paaaaarttteeee!!!" He whipped out a black and red card from his head.
Zim narrowed his eyes after peeling off the diguise-lenses and snatched up the paper. " 'Part-tee'??" The Irken spun on a heel and addressed his computer. "Computer! What is this... 'PAR-TEE'...??"
The computer blooped a bit, then replied. "It is a congregation of Humans. They revel with joy and... stuff. ....Oh yeah, and usually there's poopcorn!"
Zim cringed. CRINGING, was he!! "Computer, WHY are they 'reveling with joy' at these 'part-tees'?"
"Welll.... I don't knooow..." was the slow response.
The Irken scowled angrily at the unwanted answer. "WHAT!? What you you MEAN, you DON'T KNOW!? You've BEEN downloading data from that DESpicable Huuuman invention, the 'internet', for FIVE years, HAVEN'T YOU??"
"Ummm..... Data insufficient," the computer answered quickly and nervously.
Zim was about ready to burst. Like a tea kettle on the stove for a long time. Today is a valde bad day, no? Water, attack from Tenn, being 'saved' by the enemy Tak, et cetera.
"Alright... Computer, make an educated guess, will you??"
"Err.... ...No..?"
A sigh. "I meant about the joyous REVELING."
"Oh. That. Um, okay.... The Humans are... celebrating the anniversary of... the creation of rootbeer, and they use origomi paper fans to do so, blowing ...AIR... um, across the... Atlantic Ocean, home of the sunken city... and give their thanks to the beings of the Underworld...?" the computer quickly thought up.
Zim blinked. "Fascinating! An 'UNDERWORLD'?? 'Sunken CITY'?? 'ORiGOMi'?? Hm..."
The Irken skittered towards to front door on his mech-legs, folded them up, and replaced the contact lenses. "I shall GO to this 'part-tee' and conduct some research on Human reveling-behavior of rootbeer. GIR! You are invited as well, you said?" He made a sharp 'come' gesture, and headed outside.
GIR, who had been occupied and quiet during the whole time, unwittingly terrifing with a solitary scouter ant, leapt up. "G'BYE, BUGGY!!" he shrieked, not realizing that when he got up, he'd smashed the tiny creature with his foot.
The adorable SIR slipped into his puppy-suit and quick-walked outside with his master, making a cute squeaking sound at every step.
*** The Dib house, well, actually it's 'The Professor House', isn't it??
Dib wiped a drop of sweat from his brow as he entered his home.
Safety at last... Well, actually, not really. Gaz would probably find some sort of nonsensical reason to half-destroy him.
While the paranormalist tried to tiptoe his way behind the living room sofa, where his scary sister sat seated in front of the TV, she suddenly stood up.
Dib cringed in terror, and tried to make a run for it. The twin black tails of his trench flapping audibly behind him like a fleeing bird's wings.
Gaz speeded up, wispy clouds of greyish smoke trailing behind her. She tore in front of her running brother and took hold of his T-shirt collar sharply. Gaz brought her other fist up, and drew it back slowly.
Dib shut his eyes tightly, waiting for the painful pummeling, but none came. Still, he figured Gaz was just up to some new beating-up-Dib-to-a-bruised-pulp method. He left his eyes closed.
"Open your stupid eyes," Gaz commanded with a low growl. "Stupid," she added.
Dib slowly opened one eye and glanced at his sister. Then, he opened the other. "Um... yes..?"
Gaz still held her big brother by the collar, and her fist quivered in the air, as if to sock him. But instead, it opened up to reveal a crumpled red and black what seemed to used to be a card.
The violent violet-haired girl looked over the balled-up dark paper. "Hm. It's a little wrinkled, but it's an invitation to lunch with that one tall, kewl guy."
'One tall, kewl guy'...? Dib strained his mind to think of whom Gaz was speaking of. Then, he remembered. Fuzzily, at first, but as he pictured the strange, dark mansion that had suddenly appeared down the street, and the whole Mind Delver incident, the image of Johnny quickly sharpened.
"Lunch??" he asked to make sure.
"Yeah, LUNCH," Gaz spat at him, and glaring at him as if he were a MORON. "Stupid ears..." she mumbled as she stalked towards the front door. She stopped abruptly, and turned as Dib began to follow her, and WHAPPED him upside the head.
Dib fell and rubbed his now bruised forehead. "Hey! Gaz, what was THAT for!?"
"For being STUpid, as usual." She rose her fist in a very menacing way. "And another for running from me when I was trying to tell you about the invitation."
Smack! "OW! ARGH, MY BRAINMEATS!!"
*** Faust's Earthen base
Fausta trudged slowly into her dark home tiredly, her large wings wrapped round her shoulders. The Onyx Wing shrugged her back-pack off, by the sofa, and collapsed onto the carpetted ground.
"Huh. Heavier fall than usual?" Faust commented with a frown, and he took a swig of Cherry Poop.
"I'm soooo tired today, Faust! I dunno why! AND my morphing isn't... well, MORPHING!!" She put her arms across her face absentmindedly.
Faust put on a thoughtful look. "Uh.. Huh... Well, that's weird."
"YEAH, it's 'WEIRD'!!" she cried in response. "WHAT DO I DO???"
A shrug. "See Marcellus or sumthin'."
: ( "Why don't YOU ever do anything for me, Faust! You're supposed to be FAMILY!! AND my instruc-!" Fausta complained.
The house's computer main screen in the living room flickered to life in front of the two Wings. "Mistress, I hope I'm not interrupting, but I believe the master has forgotten to tell the you about the invitation? I mean, he only GOT it about three minutes ago."
The Onyx Wing scowled. "Compy, you DID interrupt me, and you KNOW it!"
"Yeah, yeah, ANYway! Master."
Faust blinked in confusion. "Um... Oh yeah!" He fished a slightly wrinkled red and black card from a pocket of his robes he wore outside of his silvery armor. "That John-or-whatever neighbor invited us to lunch. I'm not coming though."
Fausta sat up with some effort. "Quid?? Quid non?? (What?? Why not??) That's SO mean!"
Faust shook his head with an apathetic sneer. "Valde." (Exceedingly/Very.)
"Whatever, Faust! Eo," (I'm going.) she growled and left, after grabbing and pocketing an unopened Cherry Poop from the small sofa table nearby.
The Nny-Human was rather interesting and nice! So, she really wanted to come to this lunch, with or without Faust. Preferably withOUT. Yepperz!
*** Outside the Nny-house
Fausta recoiled in both shock and disgust when she saw the five at the house before her. "What are YOU all doing here!?"
Dib put on a 'duh' look. "Um, we were INVITED here??" He held up a large fruit basket of various vegetables which he brought as a gift.
Gaz stood rather far from her brother, dark and looming under the veiny shadows of the property's many bare trees. "Yeah, so why don't we go INSIDE?"
GIR did a little dance in anticipation. "Yaaay!! I'm gunna get da doorrr!!!" and the SIR leapt up and used the nice brass knocker on the front door. It was carved in the shape of Happy Noodle Boy, and shone faintly under the light, thought it was a very bright afternoon.
The massive cherry wood-looking doors creaked slowly open, everyone (except Gaz and GIR) watching in slight fear. It was, afterall, a very eerie place.
"Greetings, everyone!" a happy, soft voice cried out. Johnny stood at the open doorway with a cheery gesture. A darkness awaited the guests past the front doors, several candles and torches in sconces lighting the place up with a nifty golden luminescence.
"Please, come in! Wow, you didn't have strange, large, in-Humanish, yet very neat-looking wings before, right?" he asked to Fausta.
"Ah, um... Yeah, they just appeared one day! Ah, you know how that is," she replied, not making much sense at all.
The five guests exchanged glances and headed inside. Well, GIR, actually, ran inside and hugged Johnny's thin, booted shins.
"I loooves you!!" the little robot sniffed, tears welling up, one dropping onto one of Nny's boots.
The dark man's smile broadened, and he lifted up the green-puppy bot. The metal was unEarthenly light, making GIR easy to carry. He'd been disappointed that the tall winged person hadn't come, but the appearance of the others, and the sheer sweetness of GIR took his mind away from the thought.
"Wheeee-hee-HEE!!" GIR shrieked in joy. He kicked his little legs cutely and nuzzled his green head against Nny's T-shirted chest. "Le'sgo eat, nice-neighbor man!!"
"Alrighty, talking-robot-puppy! What's your name, anyway?"
"Mmm.... GIR!!" the SIR giggled.
"Oh yeah! That's right!" Johnny crooned and stroked the greenly disguised robot's head.
The hallway was carpetted with deep crimson in irregular splotches, so that it seemed to have been a white rug before, but was splattered with buckets of blood, and the walls were covered with knives and daggers of all sorts. They seemed arragned in no particular order.
Gaz wore a 'oh, neat' expression as she looked over the arsenal of a hall.
He led everyone to the kitchen.
The room was rather small, compared to the house's total size. Tiles of the color of brackish water-- a sort of translucent/transparent light brown mixed with black covered the floors and sections of the walls. Where there were no darkish tiles on the walls, there was a nice thick coat of black paint, but in some areas it seemed that someone had been carving drawings and words into the wall, and paint was peeling and flaking off in other areas, revealing wooden boards.
A sink, and kitchen appliances of brushed chrome glowed dully with the light from the scones. Intricate patterns of wispy dragonish and elfin creatures bordered the doors and small, stained-glass windows of garnet, obsidian, and topaz. The gem-colored pieces of glass were arranged in random and simple designs. Fausta wondered if Nny had made them so that they'd be real precious stones.
The house, a strange mixture of extravagance and simplicity, was created of Johnny's twisted mind, his memory of his former home, and his knowledge of more eye-appealing ones.
A table of mahogony-looking wood was covered in plates, cups, and utensils, and various food and drink.
"Hm," Gaz complimented. "Nice."
"Yeah, it looks real nifty, huh??" Fausta smiled. "I LOVE these lights, Nny! Wow, we NEVER have fire back at home. Everything's water, water, wat..." she continued on in the background about how she liked the place.
Zim snorted in disdain. He disliked the 'primitive' lights and the 'dirty'-looking tiles, and pretty much everything. "Hmph. This had better be worthy of ZIM's time," he growled and shifted his wig. The Irken shuddered at the thought of Humans celebrating rootbeer and praising the Underworld inhabitants.
Dib was busying complimenting Nny's taste in clothing. (They both like black trenches and dark clothes, apparently.) He handed his host the fruit basket of vegetables.
Nny blinked as he accepted the gift. "..Thanks..." He wiped a single tear from his left eye. "I love carrots and turnips..!" He patted the big head boy on the head.
GIR leapt up the kitchen table and grabbed a Cherry Fiz-Wiz by him. "MmMM!! WIZZY!!!" He slurped it up. "Heehee!! Tastes lika reeeed taco!"
Johnny and Dib stepped over to the table, and soon everyone was seated.
"Well, I'd like to thank you for inviting us to your house for lunch, Johnny," Dib said politely, using his best of manners.
Zim was engaged in carefully examing the foods Nny had served for his guests through some large, Irken magnifying glass and taking notes.
Gaz silently, and contentedly sipped at a Classic Poop.
Fausta and GIR, knowing pretty much nothing of Human manners, were digging in. Everything, except for the Poop was cherry-flavored, they noticed, and was very tasty.
"Oh, it's my pleasure." Nny shook his head; his usually messy, scraggly hair, was neatly combed to a side. "It's certainly a nice change from what I usually do. Oh, what a painful-looking bruise. I haven't seen one that large and dark in a while!" he said, looking at Dib's head.
"It HAD to be large to accomadate his huge head properly," Gaz said between a sip.
"Oh I suppose that DOES make sense," Nny mused.
Dib frowned a bit.
The two continued their delightful conversation, when Fausta suddenly noticed that the fruit-basket of vegetables Dib had, was now with Nny. She wondered... Should she give something to Johnny as well? She didn't want the DIB-Human to seem better than her, and she also wanted to be nice to the kewl Nny-mortal.
Suddenly, she heard it--
"Haha, yeah. Isn't it the weirdest thing?? The convenience stores are ALWAYS out of Poop!" Dib said, to switch the topic of the conversation AWAY from his massive head.
"Well, that has nothing to do with your skull, but yeah. Not very convenient, huh?" Johnny added. "I wonder who gets all that soda. I was lucky there were a few cans of Classic Poop left, for you guys."
"Oh, well, thanks. It tastes great!" Dib took a sip of Poop to show his gratitude. "Just like Poop!"
"Heh, yeah, but I personally, am not really fond of Classic Poop. The flavor's too sharp. It stings more than a 75-watt battery." He grimaced at the Poop. "I would've gotten a Cherry Ice-Sucky, or a Brainfreezy instead, but I was afraid they'd melt and get all watery before you guys got here. Wow, I wish I had a Cherry Poop right now."
Fausta blinked. 'A cherry Poop right now.' She took the soda in her pocket out. "I have one for you, Nny!"
GIR was suddenly caught up in this spirit of giving, and decided he wanted to give something to Johnny as well.
Zim chose at this moment to stop with his looking at food. "..."
"GIR!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" he cried.
And for a reason, too. GIR was pulling off his dog hood and opening up his robot head.
"Be quiet, Zim," Gaz ordered quietly. "We all KNOW that your 'DOG' is a robot."
"We-w-rrrgh!!" Zim sputtered, and growled. "That sliver of knowledge was ALREADY property of Zim's vast miiind, Gaz-beast! I was merely... uh... TESTING GIR!"
"Riiight, Zim," Dib stated sarcastically.
GIR pulled a rubber moose from his head. "Moosey! Nice-neighbor, meet Moosey! He'sa MOOSE!" The SIR giggled and handed it to Nny who took it with an 'aww' expression, which was rather new to him. "I want you to keep Moosey!" GIR announced happily.
"Hello, Moosey. I am Johnny," the tall man said to the rubber toy, as he stood holding the thing. "But I prefer that you call me Nny."
He listened for a reply from the moose, but found only silence. He shrugged.
"Thank you, GIR! I shall treasure Moosey always, though he's a bit tactiturn, isn't he?"
"Tac-ee-turnnn.. tacee... TACOOOOOES!!!" the silly SIR exclaimed. He hugged Johnny again. "Heheee!!"
Nny laughed a bit. "Very affectionate for such a small robot, isn't he?" he asked to Zim.
The Irken however, wasn't paying attention, for he was busy noting the behavior of the Humans. He snapped his head up. "Wha!? Hnm!? Did say something to ZIM, reveling Nny-Human??"
"Well, yes..." he replied, a bit disappointed Zim hadn't been listening.
"Oh, ..uh, yes! GIR is..." Zim started. The words 'made out of junk' came to mind, but of course, Zim would never say something like that about GIR. He's not THAT evil. I mean, look, he promised the moon to GIR!! (Tak: The Hideous New Girl) Isn't that just SWEET??
"GIR is VERY advanced for his line of robots! His AI chip is programmed to be um... like... very SMART. Yeees," Zim lied in explanation. "That is why he is such a-- ARGH!! A DIGUSTING BEEF-WEASIL!!!"
There were some confused looks until everyone noticed a valde large ferret gnawing on Zim's head, where a Human ear would be.
"MASTER!! MASTEEER!!" GIR sobbed hysterically.
Zim had gotten the ferret under control with a bit of violent strangling.
"MAAAASTEEERR!!!" GIR continued, his tears flooding the ground around him.
Zim blinked and rubbed his stingy head. "GIR, I'm alright!"
"WHHYYY, MASTER!?! I LOVE-ED YOU!! WHY DID DA MONGOOSE TAKE YOU AWAY!?? WHY NOT THE GOOSE!? OR THE MON!!??" GIR continued. He looked up. "Oh, hiya, Master!!" He jumped up and hugged Zim's face.
"GIR, GET OFF MY FACE!!" the Irken cried, his voice muffled.
Everyone had to laugh at this scene. It was just to random and weird. Sigh, and the lunch was so normal, for a while, huh??
"Hey, where'd that rat-monster come from anyway??" Fausta asked to no one in particular.
"It'sa MONgoose," GIR corrected incorrectly.
"No, it's NOT." Dib frowned. "It's a FERRET. And it's too big to be a normal ferret."
"Dib, that's not a valde nive thing to say!" Fausta scolded. "What if someone just came up to you and said 'Your head's to be to a be a normal Huuuuman's.'??"
The paranormalist cocked a brow. "People already have been saying that to me for years."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."
"I brought that thing in here!!" shouted a voice from a hole in the ceiling that wasn't there just a minute ago.
Tak leapt in.
She wore her Human disguise, and her SIR followed smoothly behind in 'cat' form. (Whoo, I THINK it's supposed to be a cat.)
"I was just taking this genetically altered freak of natural ferret out for a walk here." She glanced at the knocked-out creature at Zim's feet. "But I guess it's not going to be walking much for a while, huh?"
"Aw, did you HAVE to slice a hole through my roof??" Nny asked. "Was that REAALLY necessary??"
Tak shrugged. "Actually, it was. I tried going through the front doors, then the back ones, each of your fifty-one tiny windows, the cellar entrance, the twenty-five basement air vents, and the three chimmneys, but your creepy defense system kept getting in the way. But for some reason, the roof idea worked."
Remember all the creepy bare trees outside? Well, they're not really trees. When an intruder of intruding intentions comes by, the 'trees' grow (literally) tons of metallic tentacles and attempt to strangle the daylights out of the person. It's valde fun to watch.
"Oh." Nny blinked. "Well, good job, I guess."
Tak waved a dismissive hand. "It was nothing." She thought about that. "No, actually, it was very annoying."
Her SIR, Me-Mi lashed out with his whip-like tail, to show his own irritation.
"Could you please shut off your house's defenses from now on?" she asked. Not using her mind-controlling abilites too, just to let you know. Not that it probably would've worked. Nny's valde smart.
"Oh, sorry. Sure, I don't need them anyway," Johnny complied. The sound of something huge powering down was heard all around.
"So what did you come breaking and entering in here for?" Johnny asked, not-angrily, but curiously.
"Oh, just some intended homicide (beating-up Zim), larceny (stealing his job), and destruction of others' property (the hole in Nny's roof, and her planning to doom GIR)," Tak shrugged. "And maybe some murdering." (Dib and Fausta. x_x;;)
"Oh, well, don't going getting yourself into trouble now, young lady," Nny warned nicely. He glanced at the clock above, which by the way had Roman numerals (^.^).
"ARGH, it's almost time for the marathon for my favorite show! I must ask you all to leave now," Johnny said reluctantly. "I completely forgot about it. You see, I'm having the house lock itself up so that nothing disturbs me during the marathon. I don't wanna keep you all mewed up in here, so you should go. Sorry, kids."
Tak nodded. "Hm, well, I SUPPOOOSE my dooming can wait. You all got lucky today!" she called to her rivals. The female Irken and her 'cat' leapt back through the hole in the ceiling, and out of sight. ...Well, Tak tried to in any case.
"ARRRGHH!!" she came crashing back down. "What WAS that thing!?" She brushed herself up, and tried to find her aerial attacker.
Me-Mi slammed into the ground by her, fizzing and crackling.
Tak narrowed her eyes. "That flying yellow monster..."
Zim and Fausta perked up, old memories stirred, and they heard the evil song above--
"La lala lala lala lala lala lalaaa...!!"
They shuddered.
Nny helped Tak up. "You, know, you CAN use the front door if you want."
"Sure. Thanks." And Tak headed for the door.
Well, a lunch time has passed, and all the guests bid a nice goodbye to their kindly host as they leave.
Any normal person watching then go would've been apathetic and/or stupidly oblivious to the earless and noseless green boy, and his lime-green dog with a zipper at his neck. The person however, probably WOULD notice Fausta's dark wings, and cry for "Animal Control, there's an emu on the loose!" And the deathly pale Gaz with her pendant walking silently by, playing her GSMIV she'd pulled from her pocket, and her humungous-headed brother babbling about monsters and aliens would rise some brows.
While, any normal person from OUR world, somehow evilly ignorant of Invader Zim, would just have been completely weirded out watching the strange party going by, and most likely call the police, ...or a circus owner.
Zim fans would be freaked out and ecstatic, and probably end up chasing the Irken to his house, only to get pummeled by his guard-gnomes.
Zim-haters (OMG, ARE there any??) would likewise, also, end up chasing Zim to his house, and getting pummeled by his gnomes.
NNY, however, watching his guests go, could only see a bunch of sweet bickering children leaving after lunch. It wasn't an unpleasant sight. It was actually, strangely free of the rot, filth, and stink he normally saw-- a very favorable change.
-----------------------------
pureVENOM: Oy! That only took half of forever to write! Naw, more like... hm, it's embarrassing to say how many hours. -_-;;
Da Lesson of This Chapter: Don't jump through holes in your ceiling without looking boths ways. There's bound to be an evil death-bee waiting to pummel you and your robot-cat.
The mentioning of the sunken city in the Atlantic Ocean, I believe will lead to something in a future chapter, as will the flamingoes' conspiring, and revenge of the bullies. Also, the Underworld idea is going to become a rather large thing, for this fic, I believe. I've been wanting to write something for it for a while, since this weird idea popped into my head. Maybe next chapter. Vale!
*ahem* HIYA, *RogueStar*!!!!!!! ^.~ I can see ya!! ...Well, actually, no I can't, but whatever! ....I'm gonna write the chapter title and save now!