*Disclaimer* - I don't own the characters, never have done, never will do. Sueing me will earn you all of $5.36 and if you're really that desperate for cash then you can start saving money by getting the hell off the internet. Unless you have a completely free server of course. In which case I envy you greatly. Anyway, on with the fic...

A Love Born of Hate (Part Nine)

Gripped By Daring

"Matt?" Takeru's tearful whisper floated through the pitch-dark inside Kelimon's chariot. "Where are you?" I crawled forwards a couple of feet towards the voice, and a small pair of hands attached themselves to my arm. "Matt?"

"Yeah, it's me. It's okay, Takeru. I'm here." I put my arms round him and he snuffled into my top, giving little hiccups now and then. Otherwise, we were silent. The chariot jerked forward and began to move, gliding smoothly along the track. This did not look good at all.

Then I realised that my eyes were beginning to adjust to the darkness - there must be light getting in somewhere, I could make out five indistinct forms around me. Too dark to tell who was who, though. Nobody spoke. Nobody believed we were going to get out of this alive, I realised. Including me.

"We're not giving up." The determination in Tai's voice cut through the dark like a knife. "Not now. Not after we've been through this much together, it's not going to end like this. I won't let it."

I raised my head to listen, and I could feel the people around me doing the same. Even Takeru pulled his face out of my top. Tai went on. "It's not just a matter of living or dying, or even saving the world now. It's gotten way too personal. Remember when we first came to the Digiworld? We didn't have a clue how to survive. If it wasn't for Agumon I wouldn't have lasted twenty minutes, and you all owe your Digimon the same debt. Wherever they are, whatever Myotismon and Kelimon have done with them, we have to help them now. It's our turn to save them, because they've done so much for us since we arrived here." He raised his voice slightly. "Are you lot going to let her kill us without ever seeing our friends again?"

"Hell no!" Jyou sounded strangely determined, and braver than I've ever seen him act before. "I'm going to see Gomamon again whatever it takes, whetever I have to do I'll do it, and I don't care how many consequences there are just so long as seeing Gomamon is one of them!"

"Yeah!" sqeaked Mimi. "I haven't shown Palmon even *half* the different hairstyles I can give her, and I'm gonna show her the rest... besides, I care about her, and she's done so much for me."

"Tentomon... you always protected me," Koushiro muttered, sounding kinda choked up. "You can count on me to help you."

"For Biyomon!" agreed Sora. "Climb any mountain! Swim any sea! Brave any thunderstorm, cause there's always a rainbow at the end." She paused. "My Mom used to say that," she added softly.

"My Mom always says, 'Takeru, be careful! Mind you don't hurt yourself!'... and other stuff like that," my little brother piped up. "That's cause she's always looking out for me. Now I have to look out for Patamon. He's like having a little brother - and you have to look after a little brother, don'tcha, Matt?"

"Too right!" I agreed. "And you have to look after your friends, too. Gabumon is my friend, and I'll do whatever I have to to see him again. Whatever that Keli-slapper throws at me I'm not gonna give up!"

"Great!" enthused Tai. "That's the spirit... I guess we just needed to have a little hope after all." The Tai-shape stood up and moved towrds the door. I heard it rattling, but it was locked fast. "Do you have a hairclip, Mimi?" he asked.

"Uh, let me see... Sora, can you wear my hat a minute?" So saying, Mimi unceremoniously plonked her monstrous pink *thing* onto my head.

"Hey!" I protested. "I'm not Sora!"

"Oops... sorry, Matt," Mimi giggled, and I felt it being lifted off my head.

"And I'm not Sora either!" I heard Koushiro's voice say indignantly.

"Oh for goodness sake, Mimi, I'm here!"

Sora took the hat, and Mimi began searching her head for a hairpin. "Got one!" she cried triumphantly, handing it to Taichi and nearly poking Jyou's eye out in the process. "What're you gonna do with it?"

"I'm gonna try and pick the lock with it."

"You aren't going to bend it out of shape, are you?"

"Already have. Sorry, Mimi."

"TAAIIII! That was my best hairpin!"

"Keep it quiet back there!" we heard Kelimon bark. Tai answered Mimi in a whisper.

"Hey... anything for Palmon, right?"

"Oh yeah. Right. I'm definitely going to rescue her now, it's be a waste of a hairpin otherwise."

Two or three minutes passed, Tai working on the lock and the rest of us talking in whispers. Finally, Jyou got impatient. "You got it yet, Tai?"

"Hardly," our leader puffed, switching hands. "I don't even know if this is going to work, it's a strong lock and only a little hairpin... no offense, Mimi. But this is probably going to take an hour or more, if it works at all... but it's all we can do for now, so I'm going to do it. Damn, this is awkward with my left hand..." Tai switched hands again. "Talk amongst yourselves."

An hour passed. Takeru and Sora fell asleep, and Koushiro looked to be getting that way. Jyou and Mimi were swapping funny stories in low voices, and I was leaning against the door watching Taichi work. He didn't seem any closer to getting the doors open. "Give it a break, Tai," I whispered. "Let me take over for ten minutes, you're gonna kill yourself like that."

Taichi shook his head. "I know my... my way around the ins...side of this lock now. If you tried... you'd be starting from... from scratch. Our chances... our chances are better if I keep going."

I shrugged. "If you say so." I leaned my head back and decided to rest my eyes... just for five minutes.

When I woke up, Koushiro, Mimi and Jyou were all fast asleep. Tai was still wearily attacking the lock, and he turned to me as I sat up a bit. "Hiya, sleepy."

"Hi," I mumbled, still half asleep. "How long's it been?"

"About another hour and a half or so," Tai replied, rattling the hairpin inside the lock in sheer frustration. "Damn! why can't I open this?"

"I don't think it's going to work, Tai," I told him. "There's hope and there's obsession, and you're veering towards the latter."

"I have to keep trying," he said resolutely. "I'm not giving up now." He switched hands again.

"Nobody's going to blame you for not doing it, Tai."

"I know, because I'm going to do it!" He kept hacking, and I drifted off back to sleep.

* * * * *

I awoke with a start, in a blind panic, as the doors flew open behind me and I tumbled out of them backwards. I reached out to grab the nearest thing to stop my fall, which happened to be Taichi. Who was also falling. With little yelps of panic, we both plummeted out of the back of Kelimon's silver chariot. I braced myself for the thump of the ground... but it didn't come. I met air and more air as Taichi and I fell down and away from the chariot, being drawn by two flying horse Digimon. We had been flying the whole time. I couldn't see the ground and I didn't know how far down it was, but by the time I had fallen twenty feet I was certain that, when I landed, I would break every bone in my body.

"Matt!" I heard Tai gasp. We clung to each other as we fell, and I realised that, if I didn't tell him how I felt now, I'd never be able to. I opened my mouth and began to pour everything out in a rush.

"Tai, you have to know that I lo-" The words were cut off as we were plunged into icy water, its stinging slap bringing pain almost beyond belief to every square inch of my body. Realising that I was going pretty deep, I kicked for the surface with all my might, feeling Tai do the same beside me. Struggling upwards with burning lungs, I realised I wasn't going to make it. It was too far, I couldn't hold my breath... Then I felt Taichi grab me by the collar and yank me up, and suddenly I was gasping in the night air again, extremely thankful to be alive. I grabbed Tai's arm and he grabbed mine, and we bobbed and gasped and gasped and bobbed. Then Tai began paddling feebly for shore.

"Come on, Matt," he panted. "You can see the beach from here. We have to find someplace to hide before Kelimon realises we're gone." Dazedly, I followed him. Everything was happening way too fast.

We dragged ourselves out onto the beach and took a good look around. It wasn't a beach I recognised, something told me that we were far, far away from File Island. "Oh, crap," croaked Taichi suddenly. "Look, Matt."

I looked, and my heart sank. The beach faded out into a dry, cracked, earthy desert, punctuated only by the occasional limp tree. Even in the dark, I could see that this was no haven of life. "Great," I sighed, slumping to the ground. "Now what?"

"Hope, Matt, hope," Taichi reprimanded me. "That's the advice you gave me, and pretty darn good advice it was too. At least we're better off here than we were in Kelimon's chariot, right? We can use my compass to keep us moving in one direction - and after all, this desert can't stretch on forever."

I grinned - at least he'd gotten his optimism back. "You're right," I agreed. "Let's go."

"Just a mo," said Tai, pulling his tee-shirt off to wring it dry. I concentrated on not staring at his chest. "Okay, I'm ready." He squirmed his way back into his top and dragged his compass out. "Uh, South-West. Let's move on out." We began trudging.

We talked a lot while we were walking. Not about anything important, just chatter, but it... well, I dunno. There's nothing special about talking to someone, I guess, it just... well, felt nice to have him all to myself for a while. Not that I wasn't worried about Takeru and the others, but being alone with Tai was a consolation, at least. But after an hour or so, the chattering grew less and faded out, and it was just march, march, march. Tai looked pretty tired so I asked him if he wanted to stop for a bit, but he just shook his head and kept walking. By the time we hit the two hour mark, it was pretty obvious that Tai wasn't going to be able to go much further. I was pretty knackered myself, but Tai was exhausted. I stopped. "Come on, Tai," I said firmly. "We've been walking for two hours. It's time to stop and get some sleep."

"Can't." Tai turned to look at me. "Kelimon'll spot us a mile off in this terrain. We have to keep moving."

"You're gonna collapse or something."

"Rubbish." Tai began walking on again, but stumbled over nothing but air and would have gone down if I hadn't caught his arm. "I'm okay, Matt, lemme go..."

"You're *not* okay," I retorted, slipping an arm round his waist to support him. He sagged against me for a moment, then pulled himself up again.

"Let's keep moving."

"Let's not. Tai, you've been heavily bashed about and you haven't had any sleep yet tonight. Look, it's nearly dawn, you can see the light on the horizon. You need to rest."

"No, Matt..."

"Yes, Tai... oh, for crying out loud, alright then. Here, let me take the compass." Tai handed it over and I half-helped, half-carried him over to the nearest tree and sat him down against the trunk. He cracked his eyes open blearily.

"Wot you doing...?"

I sat down beside him and put an arm round his shoulders, not caring what he thought about it. He wouldn't remember half of what had happened by morning anyway, he was so tired. "C'mere, you," I whispered, pulling him against me. His eyes closed, his head slid down onto my chest and he slept. I smiled.

* * * * *

I woke up many hours later because Tai was shifting position. A very light sleeper, me. Anyways, I opened one eye just a fraction and spied on him as he lifted his head and blinked sleepily. Kawaii! Then he looked up at me, and I clamped my eyes shut quickly. "Dude, what the...?" I heard him mumble, starting to move away to find a sleeping spot of his own. But then he hesitated. I squinted through one barely-open eyelid again, try to see what he was up to. He went to move off again, then hesitated again. Finally, with a little shrug of resignation, he shuffled back over to me and put his head back down on my chest, wrapping his arms round my waist and snuggling - there is no other word to describe it but *snuggling* - back down to sleep.

"And to what do I owe this unexpected honor?" I drawled. I was taking a huge risk, I knew, but I think it was fairly obvious how Tai felt. It was time to sort this out - and besides, I probably wouldn't get a chance like this ever again.

Taichi jumped a mile. He leapt away from me like he'd been shot and regarded me with terrified guilt. Gotcha red-handed, I thought. "Didn't say anything about you having to move, though," I added ruefully. "Don't look at me like that, Tai, it makes you look as though you've done something wrong."

Taichi obviously thought I was toying with him. "Uh, Yamato, I -"

"Matt," I corrected him pleasantly. "You call me Matt now, remember?"

Poor Tai was was beginning to look extremely confused. "Yeah okay, Matt, then... I honestly don't know how that happened," he lied through his teeth. "Amazing the mistakes you can make when you're asleep, huh?"

"You were awake," I reminded him. "I saw you."

Tai looked as though someone had just squeezed all the air out of his lungs. "I... uh..."

"Oh, Tai... c'mere."

"Maybe I should just -"

"C'mere, I said."

Tai shuffled nervously over, obviously thinking I was set to deck him the minute he got within decking distance. I stood up and he planted himself before me, head hung down, the absolute picture of dejection. I sighed and put a hand on his shoulder, lifting his chin with the other. He gave me a quick, miserable glance before dropping his gaze again. I closed my eyes and kissed him full on the lips.

Taichi stood absolutely still, rigid with shock. I wrapped an arm round his shoulders, pulling him closer, and he hesitantly put his arms round my waist and started kissing tentatively back. I was in sweet, sweet heaven for all of three seconds... and then he suddenly pulled his arms back, shoved against my stomach and pushed away from me, gasping and spitting.

"Dude, SICK!" he spluttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and making disgusted faces. "What kind of a sick freak *are* you?" He looked up at me in horror, revulsion and fear, before bending back over to spit exaggeratedly on the ground. "Make me puke!"

"But... wha?" It was my turn to be confused. "Tai..."

"Just don't, okay Yamato? Just keep away from me!"

My knees began to tremble. This was not going the way I had planned. "You're saying... you don't have feelings for me?" I asked in a small voice.

"You're damn right I don't have feelings for you!"

I closed my eyes and concentrated on not passing out. "Oh... okay," I heard myself say faintly.

"Yamato, I don't even want to have to look at you for the rest of this journey," Tai informed me coldly. "Just give me the compass and follow me." I gave him his compass and he strode off, leaving me to straggle along in his wake. This wasn't happening to me. Oh God, please let this be a dream. I squeezed my eyes shut against tears but they rolled out from under my lids anyway. I choked on a sob.

"Don't be so wet, Yamato," Tai scoffed from up ahead. "You're acting like a baby." I stifled the sobs but the tears kept coming. Through my blurry vision I made out a forest on the horizon, a haven of greenery... but it just didn't seem to matter anymore. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. I didn't even care if I saw Takeru again or not.

It was about three quarters of an hour later when we hit the shade of the forest - we had walked for two hours or more during the night, but this was daytime and the sun was merciless. Taichi sat under a tree, his hair wilting.

"We'll rest here." I nodded and sat down under a different tree, a little way away from Taichi. Then I opened my nouth. I didn't know what I was going to say, but something had to be said. Things couldn't go on like this.

"Tai -"

"Don't talk to me, Yamato."

I flipped. This was totally unfair. "Oh yeah, well if you don't have feelings for me then how come you snuggled right back up to me after you woke up? Answer me that, Mister I-Think-You're-Sick-For-Fancying-A-Guy! And how come you got all hugsy with me that time when I got upset, huh? HUH?"

"Because... just because you were my friend, and I cared about you, okay? WERE my friend, that is!"

"You snuggled up with your head on my chest because you were my FRIEND?"

"I don't have to listen to this." Tai stood up and began to walk away. I leapt to my feet.

"Don't you dare just turn around and walk away from me! You love me, Yagami! You said so!"

Taichi spun round. "Oh yeah? When?"

"After that fit you had from eating that fruit you were allergic to! I sat beside you and held your hand and hoped and prayed that you would get better, and I told you I loved then, and you opened your eyes and said *'I love you too'*... You may not remember it, but you said it, man! Sora can can vouch for me!"

Taichi stared at me pale-faced. "I thought that was a dream," he whispered. Then he snapped back into focus. "Sora knows?!"

"Man, she came up behind me..." I sat back down and wiped my forehead clean of sweat. "She heard everything, Tai. But she hasn't told a soul. She's okay with the whole thing, really."

"WHAT whole thing?" Taichi demanded. "There's nothing going on here, Yamato! So just leave me alone!" He began to walk away again.

"Tai!" I yelled. "Be reasonable! You know what you said!"

"I didn't say nothing, ya frickin homo perv!"

I began to run after him. "We can't afford to split up, Tai, wait for me!"

"Fuck off, Yamato!" He broke into a sprint and was immediately lost among the trees; I tried to give chase but it was hopeless. He could have veered off in any direction... I had lost him.

"YOU LOVE ME, YAGAMI TAICHI!" I screamed into the forest, tears streaming down my face. "YOU SAID SO!" There was no reply. I collapsed to my knees and sobbed like a baby, rejected and completely alone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sorry, everyone, I just had to trail out the angst a little longer. I'm now looking to have twelve parts in this saga, but don't hold me to it, I might change my mind. Ja ne! :-} -Kae Ti xx