"This is hopeless." Benjamin surveyed the desolate plains in hopes of finding the entrance to the Underworld. It was supposed to be here. He just couldn't find it. Maybe it was some great trick, and this was some giant ongoing desert that he'd never escape. He kicked up some dry grass and rocks from the ground and kept looking at his feet as he walked on and on. It was as if he were on some wild goose chase looking for this "Underworld." Continuing to kick the rocks he came across, he kicked one exceptionally hard over a hill and heard a cracking noise.
"OW!"
Benjamin ran over the hill and looked down to see a woman in a long, simple black skirt and charcoal grey shirt down by a cave entrance rubbing her shin. So he panicked and hurried down to see if she was alright. He didn't really like women getting mad at him.
"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry! Let me help, alright."
"Don't sweat it. Not half as bad as what all the souls have to go through."
"What are you doing out her though? And what's this cave?"
"Caron. The ferrywoman to the Underworld. And this would be, well, the Underworld. Duh. You must be Benjamin."
"Yeah. How-how did you know?"
"Well, no one ELSE would come here unless they had good reason to. And seeing as you're the newly appointed ruler of this place, we kinda figured you'd be coming."
He started walking next to the tall, thin redhead. She was strikingly beautiful, but she could also probably beat him up too if he hit on her.
"So...So! Anyone in the Underworld I need to be warned about?"
"Not really. You're in charge. You can do whatever you want. Just tell Vicki about it first. Don't want her getting too mad..."
"Hold up...Vicki? Who's that? I wasn't told about any Vicki."
"Oh, she's the Goddess of Sorcery and Witchcraft."
"Goddess?" Ben wasn't informed about any Goddess. He was just told he'd spend eternity in a void of souls.
"There's also Cerberus the three-headed dog," Caron went on. "Oh and the Fates stop by occasionally."
"There's a Goddess?!" Ben repeated.
"Heh, yeah."
"A Goddess. As in...a female God. There. Forever." He had become a typical male, slobbering over women.
Caron smiled. She could tell Ben was a bit excited about this. "Yeah. A God. With breasts."
"I definitely like those."
"Breasts?"
"The whole package."
She giggled a bit. "Now I know you're definitely related to Tim. You act like him."
"First of all, don't ever, ever compare me to him, and second of all, you KNOW my brother?!"
Caron was embarrassed a bit at the mention of him. "In a way, yes."
This made Ben a bit suspicious. "What KIND of way, exactly?"
The memories didn't seem too pleasant to her. "Him and I used to be...a couple. When I wanted to break up with him, he was so upset that as soon as a DID dump him, I was doomed to do THIS for eternity. Taking peoples' souls to the Underworld."
Aha, Ben thought. An opportunity to put his power to work. "If you want, just say the word, and you're outta here."
"No can do. Tim put me here, only he can take me out. "
"But I'M in charge of the Underworld!"
"Yes, but he's in charge over you."
"Let me get this straight? I'm the big shot here, but he STILL tells me what to do?"
Caron nodded, "Yup. Sorry, but that's the way it goes. He's a jerk sometimes."
"That's been a very popular opinion as of recently."
"That's a popular opinion as of ALWAYS."
"Just answer me this: Do you think I'm better than him?"
She put his arm around his shoulder. "Kid, believe me, I don't know you that well yet, but I'm POSITIVE you're better than him. He's a pig."
Benjamin smiled in contentment. "I think we'll get along nicely."
They walked, and walked, and walked some more until finally they reached the dock at the River Styx. Caron stepped onto the boat and helped Ben on too.
"I can't believe you spend all day doing this. It's so...gloomy."
"Not unlike your job, right? There are perks to my day though. Like Oliver. He always has something to gossip about when he brings a soul down. And if he doesn't, I can always look at him."
Ben wasn't going to say anything. His cousin the messenger God? With little winged sandals? Yeah, those plus the caudacus must be a real turn-on for ladies.
He should've shut her up then. But it was too late. She went into an extremely long story about how the met, and how great he is, as if Ben didn't know him or anything.
"First of all you wouldn't BELIEVE how sweet his is. I thought that once Tim had caused me all that trauma I'd never be able to love again, but one day, this gorgeous man flew down on his winged sandals..."
I think I'm in Hell, thought Ben. Oh wait, I am. Nevermind. There had to be something though. SOMETHING he could do to prove to anyone in charge that he was capable at it. Not to diss the Underworld or anything, but it didn't seem all that tough to run. And Tim's damn ego was inflating by the moment. He should be the one finding out what it's like to be challenged, not Ben. Maybe instead of trying to make Tim look bad, he should make himself look good. Or vice-versa. He didn't quite know yet.
He looked up at Caron as he caught the end of her monologue.
"...and I just really think that Tim should learn his lesson. I know I wouldn't have met some of the great people I have if I didn't do this job, but it's not exactly the thing I had in mind to do. Tim just gets away with way too much, y'know?"
Could this chick read his thoughts or what?
He nodded slowly. "Yeah...yeah, I DO know."
"Know what?" A voice asked him.
Ben turned his head to fix his view on the person standing in front of him, and when he saw her, he KNEW it was her. She had black hair cascading down her back and a long,flowing, lacy, deep violet and black dress. If he had to spend forever in this pit of hell with any Goddess, he sure was glad it was her.
"Hello." She held out a hand for him to shake. "It's Benjamin, right?"
What was he going to say to her? It had to be something suave, debonair, and charming. Something that would give an outstanding first impression.
He stared at her with wide eyes and said exactly what was on his mind. "Uhh...guh?"
UH-GUH?! WHAT THE HELL?!