Magician's Note and Disclaimer: A funny old thing happened, just now. I realized that, while I've been calling this my disclaimer, I haven't yet disclaimed anything. So, for all intents and purposes, I've been saying I own Love Hina...hehe. That might be fun, actually. I'd be filthy rich. Ah well, here it is—I do not own Love Hina. I own the plot so far though, especially the Fake Seta and Kitten Shinobu bits. I like those.
Now then, when we last left off (sometime at around 1 AM last night) Keitaro and Shinobu had just returned from an unhelpful visit with Haruka, who had no information on the whereabouts of the other girls. Shinobu had the bright idea of calling Seta, but this yielded another problem—Seta had apparently gone out to dinner with Kitsune the night before, but at the same time, he had been in China on an archeological dig. Mysterious, isn't it? On with the show!
Two Down and Three to the Left, Part III
A Love Hina Story by MagicianXV
"A Seta who can drive," Keitaro muttered. "Whoever was impersonating him didn't do their homework."
"But, if the real Seta is in China, then who took Kitsune out to dinner last night?" Shinobu mewed, tail twitching nervously. "What if it was a pervert, or a kidnapper?"
"Whoever it was, I'm betting it's the same person who turned you into a cat," Keitaro observed grimly. "You said you came downstairs when Kitsune got home last night, right?"
"Yes, but—"
"But it wasn't Kitsune. It must have been the fake Seta. Which brings up the question of who the fake Seta is, and more importantly..."
"What he did with Kitsune," Shinobu finished. She stood up and began to pace nervously around the dining room table where she and Keitaro had been sitting. Or, more accurately, she had been sitting on. "This is scary, sempai...somebody's kidnapped Kitsune, haven't they?"
"It looks that way," Keitaro said, wishing very hard that Motoko was around. As likely as it was that she would have been blasting him through the roof with a sword technique, her unshakable nerves would have been quite welcome. "I guess we had better go to the police, then. Neither of us is exactly cut out for detective work." Shinobu nodded, and Keitaro went out to get the telephone.
He dialed the number written on a sheet pinned to the wall (the label read Emergency Numbers and listed the fire department, police station, and a 24-hour liquor store with delivery service) and waited while it rang. A few seconds later, the ring cut off and his ear was filled with a low, crackly buzzing.
"Um, hello?" Keitaro said hesitantly. "Is this the police station? I need to report a missing person. And an imposter, or...something." The buzzing continued. "Hello? This is an emergency! If I have the wrong number, just tell me!"
"This isn't a wrong number." For the second time that day, Keitaro felt ice water wash over his back. The voice on the other end was much like the buzz; low and crackly, like the static on a fuzzy TV station.
"It—it isn't? Who is this?"
"That all depends on your perspective. From my perspective, I am me. From yours, I am someone else entirely." Keitaro's mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to get anything out.
"Uh—is this the police station?"
"At one time it was. I don't believe it is anymore, though. There aren't any police here, you see. Just some dogs."
"D-dogs?" Keitaro stammered. "How—"
"It suited them, you see. They were very loyal and noble, so being dogs seemed like the best choice. Most of them are gone now, but there are one or two left. Would you like to speak to them?"
"I...what?"
"Wait a moment, I'll see if they want to talk." The buzzing faded out. Keitaro was rooted to the floor, and the phone seemed glued to his ear. Who was that? The voice didn't sound at all natural, almost like he (or she) was speaking through some kind of machine.
"Sempai?" Keitaro spun around, dropping the phone with a clatter. Shinobu was on the floor by his ankle, looking startled.
"Shinobu! Sorry, you scared me."
"Is everything all right? Did you talk to the police?"
"No...no, not yet." Something in Keitaro's brain was saying very firmly to keep quiet; scaring Shinobu didn't seem like a good decision at the moment, as her day had been stressful enough already. "I just got an operator. He went to get a policeman."
"Oh." The kitten nodded, a sight which fit the day's pattern of the unusual. "Good. I hope they can help."
"Me too, but...let's not get our hopes up, okay, Shinobu? I think we may have to find Kitsune ourselves after all." Shinobu started to ask why, but the buzzing had suddenly begun again and Keitaro waved at her to stay quiet. "Hello?"
"Neither of the officers is in a speaking mood at the moment. Perhaps you should call back another time."
"I can't! Just who are you, anyway?" he demanded, unconsciously giving the phone a death grip. "Are you responsible for Kitsune being gone? And what about the other girls? Is that your fault too?"
"Let's not start pointing fingers, Mr. Urashima. Sufficed to say, I know where Miss Konno and the rest of your precious ladies are. Whether or not their...situations, are my doing is another matter."
"Situations?" Keitaro repeated, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. "What are you talking about? What did you do with them? And who are you?"
"I'm not sure, actually. Maybe I'm you. Maybe I really am Seta, and he, in reality, is me. Either way, Mr. Urashima, it won't do any good to get angry about it. We've been having such fun so far that I'd hate to see you spoil it. Ah, I have an idea!" The voice rose suddenly in excitement, but not in such a way that Keitaro was happy about it. The tone suggested that a snake had just spied its next meal, and Keitaro was playing the role of the latter. "I'll give you a hint. A present, if you will, something to keep the game interesting. Just makes sure you stay on your toes, Mr. Urashima, or things could get messy."
The line went dead.
*****
Shinobu listened in utter confusion as Keitaro first spoke, then shouted at the person on the phone. Why would he be talking to a policeman like that? From the way he was acting, it sounded like he was having a conversation with the person who had kidnapped Kitsune!
"What did you do with them?" Keitaro was demanding. "And who are you?" He lapsed into silence, and Shinobu felt her stomach twist as Keitaro's face went pale. A few seconds later, he set the phone on the cradle and turned around.
"Sempai? Are you okay?" Shinobu was now quite ready to become human again; her voice sounded so small and piteous that it embarrassed her.
"I don't know...quick, Shinobu, look around. Do you see anything strange? Has anything changed?"
"Um..." She looked quickly from side to side, then behind her, letting her sensitive cat's eyes scan everything within range. "No. I don't see anything different. Who was that, sempai?"
"I'm not sure," Keitaro said, shaking his head. "Whoever it was though, I may have found our fake Seta."
"Y-you did? Did he kidnap Kitsune?"
"I think so. He didn't really answer any of my questions, but he did say that he'd send us a hint. I should carry you again, Shinobu, in case something bad happens."
"Okay," she said, and allowed him to lift her gently from the floor. "Where should we look for the hint?"
"Beats me. The guy sounded like a philosopher who'd had too much to drink." He left the hallway and walked cautiously past the kitchen, pausing to peek inside. "Nothing weird in there...so far so good."
"Let's try the living room," Shinobu whispered. She wasn't sure why, but it was definitely one of those times when whispering felt completely natural. Keitaro moved slowly away from the kitchen, across the hall, and poked his head around a doorframe.
"Any freaky things in here...? No? Good." He walked around the corner and into the center of the room.
"Maybe it's hidden in one of the bedrooms?" Shinobu offered. "I got locked in a closet, maybe it's someplace like that."
"It's worth a try," Keitaro said, sounding reluctant. "Did you ever notice though, that a lot of times, the monster is hiding in a closet? As soon as the stupid college student opens the door, something jumps out and rips his face off. That's why everybody in the theater is always shouting 'Don't go in there!'"
"I don't like monster movies," Shinobu murmured. "They give me bad dreams. I never watch them."
"Oh. Well, you don't have to worry anyway. The cat never gets eaten. Only the stupid college student."
"You're not a college student, though, sempai. You're still a ronin."
"Thanks, Shinobu." She flushed hotly under her brown fur.
"Sorry." Keitaro sighed, then started resignedly toward the stairs.
"Guess we'd better get this done," he said doggedly. I'm gonna put you down when we get up to the top, okay? Just wait outside, and if you hear me scream, run away really fast."
"Why would you be screaming?"
"Because something in the closet just ripped my face off."
"Oh." Keitaro trudged up the last few steps and carefully set Shinobu on the hardwood floor. She waited fearfully as he walked to the end of the hall, and flung the door to Su's room open. He leaned inside, paused, then went in completely. There was a faint grating sound (the opening of Su's closet, Shinobu guessed), and Keitaro came back out.
"That room's clear," he announced. "Lemme check my room real quick. Would you be okay checking yours?"
"I think so," she said. "I'll be right back." Moving faster on her four legs than she had yet managed, Shinobu hurried down the hallway and into her room, the door of which was still open. The closet was open as well, and a quick look inside revealed nothing out of the ordinary.
"Everything looks fine in here!" Keitaro called. They met outside, then proceeded up the steps to the third floor. Naru's room was perfectly in order as well, but when they reached Motoko's door, both stopped dead. "All right..." Keitaro said slowly. "This is not good."
The door had been slashed to ribbons, the wooden frame sliced apart and the paper covering totally demolished. Inside wasn't much better; everything that wasn't bolted down had been knocked over, and even with the mess, the chamber seemed to be unusually bare.
"All her swords are gone," Keitaro said, gesturing to the polished wooden rack mounted on the wall. "And so's her kendo armor." Shinobu, adrenaline racing through her tiny body, paced around Keitaro's feet in a frantic circle.
"Who did this, sempai? Was it the fake Seta? Do you think this was the clue he was talking about?"
"I sure hope not," he replied, fingering a slash in the wall. "If it is the clue, it's not a very helpful one. What are we supposed to get from this? Motoko has a bad temper? I could have told him that."
"Maybe it's some kind of warning," she gulped. "Could he be telling us to leave him alone?"
"I don't think so...the way he talked on the phone, it sounded like he was enjoying himself. Let's go check Kitsune's room before we do anything else. If there's nothing in there, I'll try calling the police station again." He leaned over and swept Shinobu up, then headed for the last room in the hallway. This door, at least, was intact, and for a moment Shinobu was certain that everything would be silent and orderly inside. When Keitaro pulled it open, however, that notion vanished.
Sitting in the center of the room, facing directly toward them and peering forward with bright, black eyes, was a fox. It was unarguably a very pretty fox; smooth, orange-red fur covered every bit of it, save for its paws and the very tip of its tail, which were white, and delicately shaped ears, streaked with black, ran atop its head. It blinked curiously at them.
"Hey," it said smoothly, and seemed to grin. "What's going on? You're all sweaty. And when did you get a cat?" Shinobu felt her jaw drop, and thought she might have heard Keitaro's do the same.
"Kitsune?!"
Magician's Note: What a wonderful feeling this is...to be writing a story and actually having fun doing it! I haven't enjoyed the process of doing a fic this much since I started my Harry Potter stuff. Guess that really says something for Love Hina, doesn't it?
So, here we have things progressing at an interesting pace. Kitsune, apparently, has also undergone an animal transformation, and somebody at the police station is having a good time messing with Keitaro's head. Motoko is either in a rotten mood, or we're seeing what happens to female samurais at that time of the month. What will happen next? Who is the freak at the police station? Could I be any less original in turning Kitsune into a fox? I just don't know!