Magician's Note and Disclaimer: Day three of writing this story, and I'm still ahead by one chapter—don't I just kick all the ass in the world? (Compared to my recent track record, yes.) I still don't own Love Hina, although I've been trying. Hell, I don't even own any of the mangas yet. I did finish reading #6 a little while ago, though. I gots to get me a job so I can bring these stupid things home instead of sitting in the bookstore...sigh.
But, the show must go on. We now rejoin Keitaro and Shinobu, who have just found Kitsune (transformed elegantly into her namesake) waiting casually inside her room, acting as if nothing has happened. What strange and mysterious hijinks will ensue from this new development? Do I even have the slightest clue myself? Only time will tell!
Two Down and Three to the Left, Part IV
A Love Hina Story by MagicianXV
"What?" the fox asked, tilting its head to one side. "Is there something hanging out of my nose? Are my boobs showing?" Keitaro, still clutching Shinobu against his chest, gaped.
"K-kitsune? Is that really you?" The two of them stared, and the fox looked even more bewildered than ever.
"Well, yeah, of course it is. Who else would it be? I know I slept in a little, but that's no reason to act like I've mutated or something. And what's up with the cat, anyway? You tired of Tama-chan already?" Keitaro glanced at Shinobu, then placed her on the floor and sat down beside her. Kitsune watched, eyes narrow, but still dancing with amusement at some hidden joke.
"It's not really a cat," Keitaro said patiently, running a hand through his hair. Hadn't this day been stressful enough already? What had he done to deserve this? "It's Shinobu. I found her stuck in a closet about two hours ago." The amusement faded a little from Kitsune's eyes.
"That's kinda harsh, isn't it? I know Shinobu's on the scrawny, flat-chested side, but she's still just a kid. You shouldn't go around naming mangy cats after her." At this, Shinobu sat down very hard and let out a piteous squeak.
"Kitsune!" Keitaro picked the kitten up and stroked her head, glaring. "I didn't name the cat after Shinobu, the cat is Shinobu. Have you looked in a mirror?" Again, the fox's long mouth curled into a grin.
"Why should I? I know I look great. Which is more than I can say for you, by the way—you're all pale and shaky. You been hittin' grandpa's medicine bottle, big boy?" Keitaro sighed tolerantly.
"Just go look in a mirror, Kitsune. We'll wait." For the first time in his life, Keitaro was treated to seeing a fox roll its eyes in exasperation.
"Fine, fine, if it'll make you happy. But I expect some big favors later for putting up with your weirdness, you got that?"
"Mirror."
"Whatever." Kitsune stood—or she tried to. A mirror was apparently not quite necessary to get the point across, for while Shinobu had grown accustomed to having four legs, Kitsune had been sitting through the entire conversation, and seemingly hadn't realized that she was no longer a biped. This resulted in a very confused fox sprawled gracelessly on the floor in front of them, long tail tangled with her limbs. "What the...?"
"For someone who's so good at paying attention to what's going on with other people, Kitsune, you can be incredibly dense," Keitaro noted. "I'm going to pick you up and take you to a mirror, okay? Just hold still."
"You?" Kitsune scoffed. "Pick me up? In case you hadn't noticed, you're about as scrawny as that kitten."
"Just...shut up for a second." Keitaro seized Kitsune around the midsection and carried her unceremoniously out of the room.
"What—what the hell?!" Kitsune cried, once she grasped what was going on. "How are you—wait a second, when did you get so damn tall, anyway?"
"Don't I wish," Keitaro muttered, and went into the third-floor bathroom. He plopped Kitsune in the sink, so her head was about level with a wall-mounted mirror.
There was an extremely long silence.
"Hot damn," Kitsune said finally. "I look good."
*****
"Explain this to me again," Kitsune said, looking up from her bowl. "And pour me another while you're at it, I'm empty."
"You're the first fox I've ever seen with a taste for sake," Keitaro muttered, tipping another round from the bottle. Kitsune's ears perked up and she began to lap contentedly.
"Go ahead," she urged between swallows. "I'm listening." Keitaro cleared his throat.
"So far, all we know is this—you and Shinobu are both animals, and everybody else is missing. Motoko's swords and armor are gone too, and some weirdo at the police station impersonated Seta and took you out to dinner last night. I think he's also the one who transformed you two, because he made it sound like he turned all the police officers into dogs. I'm pretty sure that he put you in your room as a hint for Shinobu and me, but I don't know what you're supposed to mean." He hesitated. "Yeah...that's everything. Any thoughts?"
"Um..." Kitsune's eyes, already slits, narrowed even further. "Not really. Except to say that I'm sorry for calling you scrawny and mangy and flat-chested, Shinobu. No hard feelings, right?" Shinobu, whose seat of choice seemed to have become Keitaro's lap, shook her head.
"No," she said quietly. "No hard feelings."
"Great!" said Kitsune smoothly, completely missing Shinobu's tone. She finished her sake, then stood and stretched widely. "It is gonna take some serious time to get used to four feet and no thumbs," she observed, looking herself over. "This does have advantages, though. Did you know I can hear your thoughts, Keitaro?"
"Huh?" Keitaro jerked back a few inches, looking horrified. "You can?"
"Sure can. And I must say, I always knew you were a pervert, but I never thought you'd want to do that sort of thing to a defenseless kitten. Honestly! Have you no shame?" Keitaro turned beet-red, and he slid even further back.
"She's making it up, Shinobu, I swear! I'm not even thinking about you right now!"
"Well, sure, you aren't now," Kitsune drawled. "Now he's thinking about me, and who can blame him? I am one fine piece of fox, if I do say so myself."
"I am not thinking about you!" Keitaro howled. "I'm not thinking about anything! My mind is a total blank! There is absolutely nothing but air inside my head!"
"As if that wasn't painfully obvious to begin with," said Kitsune wryly. "I'm kidding anyways. Relax, and wipe that panicked expression off your face."
"You're really mean, you know that?" Keitaro muttered, scowling. Kitsune shrugged, grinning.
"So," she inquired, folding her front legs beneath her chin, "what do we do now? I've got my morning buzz going now, so I'm ready for anything."
"Just how often are you buzzed?" Keitaro questioned. He pulled the sake bowl away from Kitsune, placing it and the half-drained bottle well out of her reach.
"Only after breakfast. And sometimes at about eleven...then around lunchtime, and a little bit at two." She licked her lips contemplatively, then added, "And it's bad karma not to have a few drinks before dinner, plus an evening just isn't complete without a gin and tonic. You know how it is."
"No," said Keitaro dryly. "I don't."
"Oh. Well, whatever. What're we supposed to do about finding the other guys?"
"I guess our only real option is to go to the police station," Keitaro decided. "We should really see for ourselves what's going on down there, and if the fake Seta is still there, we might be able to get some questions answered."
"Sounds like a plan," Kitsune said agreeably, clambering up. "Do I get a ride too, or is Shinobu the only one special enough?"
"She's the only one small enough," Keitaro corrected. "Lugging you around would be like having a horse under one arm."
"Not if you weren't such a nine-pound weakling. Y'ever consider doing some push-ups?"
"I'm not weak, you're just a really heavy fox."
"Yes you are, and no I'm not. C'mon, Keitaro, gimme a piggyback ride!" She danced back and forth, then gave a flying leap and landed on his back. "See? I'm not that heavy."
"Fine, fine. But you're carrying me on the way back."
The three of them left the house once again, nobody taking much notice of the storm clouds gathering overhead. Kitsune was in rare form, even if had become part of the beast kingdom, and Keitaro resigned himself to tolerating it as nobly as possible. Shinobu stayed nearly silent, wrapped contentedly in Keitaro's arms with no desire to leave.
Presently, it began to rain.
Magician's Note: Maaan...I was on such a role for a while there. Leave it to hardware troubles to slow down the creative process. If anybody out there was actually following this thing as it was posted, I offer a sincere, "Gomen!" (Hehe. I've just been itching to say something like that.) For some reason, my keyboard decided last night was an excellent time to cease functioning, and I couldn't get a replacement until late today. Not much of a pause, I know, but I've really been having a good time writing this, and I didn't want to stop. We're back in the saddle now though, and the road is clear and shiny.
And so, this chapter ends with our intrepid...um...heroes, journeying forth once more, searching doggedly for their companions. I apologize for the unoriginality in making Kitsune a fox, but there is a good reason for her nickname. Will the fake Seta be lying in wait at the police station? Will any characters aside from my favorites even be in this story? (Don't worry, they'll all show up sooner or later.) Stay tuned!