Interlude
"I've got you this time," Keitaro muttered, grinning confidently. He swept around a corner then stopped, pressed his back against the cold metal wall, and quickly reloaded his assault rifle. "There's no escaping the Ronin Destroyer." On his motion tracker, Keitaro's eyes traced a single red dot, moving speedily toward him. Thinking quickly, he dumped the rifle in favor of a rocket launcher and lobbed a fragmentation grenade around the corner.
"Be careful, sempai!" Shinobu warned; she was also following the motion tracker, and her face was rapt with anxiety. "She's right on top of you!"
"I see her," Keitaro acknowledged. There was a bright flash, followed by a resounding boom; somewhere above them, Keitaro and Shinobu heard someone shout a curse. "Sounds like that was a hit." He swung around the corner, leveled the rocket launcher and fired blindly, emptying both tubes. They hit barely a half-second apart, and through the ensuing smoke, he saw an armored figure go flying gracefully through the air—only to land with a sickening thud a dozen yards away.
"Game over!" announced the television. Keitaro let out a deep breath and set down his controller. The screen displayed the final standings—nine-two, his favor—then faded into a score sheet, labeled Post Game Carnage Report. It reported that Keitaro, or his character (named Ronin-Des), had scored nine kills and died zero times. Below that was a second name, Kei Killer...who had scored four times and died thirty-eight.
"Is that even possible?" he wondered, reading the report. "How did I...?" He trailed off as the sound of someone stomping down a staircase became unsettlingly audible. Moments later the door flew open and Naru, flushed and furious, stormed in.
"You said you'd never played this before!" she accused, grabbing the front of his shirt.
"I haven't!" Keitaro insisted, cringing. "I didn't even know Su had an Xbox!"
"Actually, she has two," Shinobu said quietly, but Naru wasn't listening.
"Then just how the hell did you pull off all those fancy moves, huh?" Naru tightened her grip on Keitaro's collar and proceeded to deliver a glare that would have made a rampaging bull wet its pants.
"I don't know!" Keitaro choked earnestly. "The controls are pretty easy once you get the hang of them...I guess you're just really bad!"
"I am not! You were cheating somehow, you had to be! Was Shinobu playing for you? Is that it?"
"No!" Keitaro gasped; he was also turning red, but for completely different reasons. "She was...just watching! Right...Shinobu?"
"That's right," Shinobu said, trying with some difficulty to pry Naru's hands from Keitaro's neck. "Why don't you just have a rematch? I'm sure you could win next time, Naru-sempai!"
"I kinda doubt that," Keitaro said, forgetting that he was being choked.
"Why you—!" Much like Naru's game-character had done, Keitaro was suddenly floating through the air. He bounced off the ceiling, then hit the floor with a crunch.
"Owie..."
"Hey, do you guys mind?" said Kitsune, wandering into the room. "I've got a killer headache, and all this noise isn't helping. That concoction Su mixed up was the strongest thing I've ever had."
"I told you not to drink it," Naru said severely, arms crossed over her chest. "Just remember not to try anything else she makes."
"What? No, I've just got to get rid of this hangover before I go back for seconds. You'd make a terrible drunk, Naru." It was only then that Kitsune seemed to notice the odd setup in the room; a large television propped in one corner with an Xbox seated before it. Running from the back of the system was a thick, black cable that trailed across the room and up through the hole separating Keitaro and Naru's rooms. "Now what've we got here?"
"Naru thought she could beat me," Keitaro explained, rubbing the back of his head. "She was wrong, as you can see for yourself." This earned him a second attempted whack, but he managed to duck it.
"Video games, huh?" Kitsune murmured, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm. I'll bet we cook up something more interesting than that." Seconds later, a huge grin had taken up residence on her face, and from the looks of it, it would be staying for a good, long while. "Yes indeed...far more interesting."
*****
"I am not playing!" Naru repeated, banging her hand against the table.
"Because you know you'll lose," Keitaro said easily, looking his cards over. "I mean, with a track record like yours, there's no way you'll beat me."
"Just stick around," urged Kitsune, also shifting her cards. "It'll be much more interesting if you're here, especially if you do lose." Naru frowned suspiciously.
"Why?" Kitsune's grin widened, and she flashed it around the table; all the residents of Hinata House, save for Sara and Su, were seated and holding cards. Seta was also present, looking at his cards with a bemused expression.
"Because, we're not just playing poker...we're playing strip poker!"
There was a resounding thud as everyone but Kitsune promptly fell out of their chairs.
"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Keitaro asked weakly, pulling himself up. "I mean...uh...well, you know..."
"Oh, come on, Keitaro," Kitsune said, throwing an arm over his shoulders, "be a man for a change! You know you're interested."
Keitaro fell silent as he considered this.
"I think it's a great idea!" Seta said, causing everyone to fall over again. "I mean, what better way to get comfortable with each other than a friendly game involving potential nudity?"
"That's the spirit!" Kitsune agreed. "Now then, we'll keep it simple—five card draw, deuces and one-eyed jacks are wild. Winner gets to choose the lucky victim, who then deals the next round." She looked wanly around the table. "Everybody got it?"
There were a series of muttered, 'yeses' and 'yeahs', although she didn't know it, Kitsune was being given the finger from four directions under the table.
"Alrighty then! I'll open the betting with ten yen." She tossed a blue chip from a stack in front of her onto the center of the table. "That's to you, Motoko."
"This is a foolish and embarrassing exercise," Motoko muttered, placing a chip of her own beside Kitsune's. "But make no mistake—I will not be taken advantage of."
"I'm sure you won't. Shinobu?"
"Um..." Shinobu looked her cards over uncertainly. "I guess I'll stay in..." She also added a chip to the pile.
"You're all so unadventurous!" Seta exclaimed, lighting a cigarette. "I'll see Shinobu's bet and raise it a hundred yen." He winked at Motoko, who looked like she might fall over again. "What's the point of a game like this if it doesn't get a little crazy?"
"See, that's the spirit we want!" Kitsune exclaimed. "How 'bout it, Keitaro?"
"Oh, what the hell," Keitaro sighed. "I'm in." He matched Seta's bet, then turned to Naru.
"You're not going to scare me!" she said, slamming a pile of chips down. "We aren't playing some stupid first-person shooter anymore, so you've got no geek-skills to fall back on this time!" Kitsune seemed to glow as she watched the bet go around the table again, until it finally returned to her.
"Okay," she said, "here it is...the moment of truth. Lay 'em down, everybody." She slapped her cards onto the table. "Beat that!"
"Is that good?" Shinobu asked worriedly.
"No," said Motoko flatly. "She has nothing." Kitsune's hand was composed of a king, a three, a seven, a queen, and a four. Motoko laid her cards down. "Two pair, fives being the higher."
"Is that good?" Shinobu pursued.
"Better than Kitsune's," Naru muttered. "What have you got?"
"I'm not sure." Shinobu placed her cards gently on the table. Everyone gawked.
"Well, that cinches it," Keitaro groaned. "Unless somebody can beat a Royal Flush, Shinobu wins." Nobody could.
"Ha!" Kitsune cried, slapping Shinobu on the back. "Talk about beginner's luck! Who's it gonna be, Shinobu?"
"Um..." she looked around uncertainly. "It was your idea to play this, right Kitsune?" Kitsune's eyebrows shot up.
"Well—yeah, it was, but—"
Forty Minutes Later
"All right," Kitsune said, handing her bra to Naru, "this was funny at first, but now it's getting excessive. And Keitaro, why don't you stare at someone else for a while?"
"I have no choice in the matter," said Keitaro honestly. "I think my neck has fused, to tell you the truth."
"You see?" said Seta, whose neck had locked in the same direction as Keitaro's, "this is a great way to get to know each other! I haven't been this happy and relaxed in days!"
"I'm sure you haven't," Keitaro muttered.
"Your bet, Kitsune," Naru reminded her.
"Fold," she said promptly, slamming her cards down.
"Would it be possible for me to win my shirt back?" Motoko inquired.
"Talk to Seta about that," Naru replied, examining her cards thoughtfully.
"I don't think so," Seta said calmly. "Not unless you're willing to trade for my pants, that is."
"I do not bargain with low-lifes."
"Suit yourself," said the professor, then laughed merrily as another round ended. "Well, well, it seems I've scored another victory! Does Kitsune have anything left?"
"You wouldn't dare," Kitsune said flatly.
"I just might..."
"Can we make this quick?" Keitaro pleaded. "I'm really cold."
"You've got Naru's skirt," Seta pointed out. "That might warm you up." Keitaro made some quick geometric calculations in his head and decided that he wasn't in the mood to be launched at quite the angle Naru's fist would strike him at.
"On second thought, I'm good."
"Right then," Seta said. "Now, who was I about to decide upon?"
"Let Shinobu have a turn," Kitsune suggested. "Nobody's even gotten her once."
"Sounds reasonable," said Seta. "Shinobu, the ski-parka, if you please." Shinobu unzipped her coat and handed it over.
"I still don't understand why she got to change clothes in the middle of the game," Kitsune grumbled. "Somebody get out the liquor. I need a drink."
Shinobu just smiled and thought back over the poker tactics she had learned on the Internet.
Eight Hours Later
Haruka surveyed the scene, puffing reflectively on her cigarette.
Naru and Keitaro were sprawled across a couch, in a position that would surely raise some eyebrows when they awoke. Keitaro was in his boxers, Naru concealed beneath a blanket. Motoko was heaped in a corner, positioned in such a manner that her sword reflected sunlight in Haruka's eyes when she tried to see what her attire composed of. Kitsune was under a table, and as far as the older woman could tell, completely naked. Shinobu was curled in an armchair, fully dressed and with a large pile of clothing in front to her. Haruka sighed.
"I always miss the good parties.
Magician's Note: I know—this had nothing to do with the story. I felt the urge to write something though (could be because I am bored out of my skull) and this was an idea that seemed to fit too well to pass up. Kudos for anybody who can guess what game Naru and Keitaro were playing at the beginning, BTW. I'll try and have another chapter of the actual story up by tomorrow, and in the meantime, go buy yourselves an Xbox. Unless you're a disgruntled PS2 person, it's totally worth the money.