Reflections
by
Elven Child
Disclaimer: I am starting to get lazy writing these darn things. Seriously, you can only do so many before you start running out of ideas. However, since my poor wallet can only take so much abuse I will make it nice and simple. All right... I do NOT own Inuyasha. The keyword here is NOT. Rumiko Takahachi on the other hand does. Enjoy the fiction anyways and please review!
"We don't say goodbye,
And I know what I've got to be,
Immortality,
I make my journey through eternity,
I keep the memories of you and me inside..."
Chapter 3:
Miroku awoke with a yawn, carefully rubbing the extra sleep out of his eyes. He tried to sit up but grimaced as pain shot
through him. Instead of risking opening
the wounds again, he used his better judgment and slowly laid back down,
lifting his arms over his head for a tension-releasing stretch.
That is when he felt her. Startled he
cautiously turned his head to the other side of the futon. Well this is certainly a new development,
he thought to himself bemused as his signature grin slowly spread widely across
his face. Calm down Miroku, you have
to control yourself! Think please! He just could not help himself...
With every nerve in his body screaming, begging him to stop himself; he slowly
leaned over the still sleeping Sango and quietly captured her lips with a soft kiss
to wake her. Slowly, as though time had
no limits, she responded. Still half asleep,
she deepened the kiss within a dream unaware of her true surroundings.
Miroku's eyebrows crept up his forehead, this was not the reaction he was
expecting. The reasonable side of his
conscience was doing everything in its power to convince Miroku to stop and get
away while he still could. The pain he
was in now would be next to nothing after she had her go at him.
He knew this was correct, he certainly was not going to enjoy the promised
thrashing, but his body had a will of its own, as the passion grew more intense
by the second. She would wake up now; she
would have to in order to breathe...
Once again, he was damned for being right.
Sango's eyes fluttered then flew open as the monk finally pulled back. The response was very interesting indeed.
At first her eyes went wide open as she gasped for breath then they narrowed to
slits as Miroku turned his head and braced himself for the impact.
It did not come.
Startled he looked back and was surprised at the anger and hurt that glared out
and burned his soul. For the first time
in his life, he was ashamed of his actions.
"How could you?" was the whispered reprimand that made him flinch. He prayed to any Gods listening that she
would just hurry up and kill him, anything was better than this silent torture.
Unable to meet her eyes lest he see the suffering that her voice held in full
force, he murmured a soft "Sango I..." I
what? What could he say? He waited patiently for divine intervention
but nothing came.
The wind blew the shutters, the door creaked and moaned, and it felt as though
the entire house would collapse beneath them from the heavy wind. They heard it but did not listen; in truth to
them, nothing made a sound.
Finally, incapable to withstand the deafening silence any longer, he looked
down upon her face, and let out an audible gasp. Snaking its way silently down one cheek was a
newly escaped tear, like a pearl shrouded in the mists. If he did not already feel like the world's
biggest monster now he certainly did.
She gulped and started to get up. For a
moment he did not act, did not speak. Only
for a moment because then he decided. No, he was not
going to let it end like this. He was not going to watch her walk away and he was
positively not going to let her leave
him like this, ever.
Quickly and before she had time to react he grabbed her wrists and pinned
them down to her side, placing himself squarely on top of her and holding her
in place with his body weight, although not enough to crush her.
It was more of the shock that first kept Sango rooted to the spot than the monk
but she was quickly getting over that. "Houshi-sama
let me go!" she snarled as she thrashed underneath him, trying desperately to
get him to release his hold on her, both in body and heart.
She gave it up eventually though, but not until after she got a few good moans
and many teeth gratings on his part. Setting
herself for whatever he threw she just glared up at him, daring him to try
anything more.
For Miroku it was the toughest battle he had ever fought. She really does hate me, his numb mind
thought in wonder. He was prepared
though, he would not lose no matter how strong willed she was.
"You listen to me... are you listening? You
are going to hear me out Sango if I have to chain you down here myself," he
growled wondering all along just what he thought he was doing and just how was
he going to fix this.
"I have had enough of this on both our parts."
She opened her mouth to protest but he firmly covered it with his hand
wincing when she managed to bite him but not faltering.
"I refuse to let the matter at hand go on without our attention any further. I have had enough of ignoring and pretending
that nothing is wrong, nothing is happening, because it is not true. I refuse to live a lie Sango."
" What are you talking about?" she
rasped and then gasped under the look of utter devotion that he held in his
eyes. No, she would not sway; she would
not be defeated like this. Never again, even
though always before.
"I love you Sango, "he said quietly, finally giving her the peace of mind she
deserved, that ... and her hope. "
Truly, I do… I love you and I
will wait. When you are ready to admit
such to yourself, if you really love me in return... you know where to find
me."
He got up then and unsteadily made his way towards the door, leaning on his
staff for support as it felt as though there was not an ounce of strength left
in him. He was willing to leave it at
that but her words cut through to him and stopped him in his tracks. He gathered what was left of his strength,
what he had thought was nothing.
"You talk of lies Houshi? Then how do I
know you speak the truth? How dare you
speak of love as though you know its meaning...? You have no idea, none whatsoever, of its
purpose, how could you? You alone have
had the power to hurt me deeper than any other and you have used that power for
your own good many a time, but never again..."
"It was for our own good Sango and only for that. I promised...I must... I will
protect you." He clenched his cursed
palm into a fist and held it shakily at his side. "No matter what I will, be it
from myself or another I will." But
who protects me from you? His mind
longed to know the answer to that unspoken question.
He left her then to seek out the meaning of his own words and to await her
reply by the river, their river of longing.
As soon as he had left the doorway Sango collapsed back down to her knees. How dare he do this to her... how dare he
made her choose! Love...
She shook her head sadly. She could
never again afford that luxury... She
had it once she was sure, but now...
Tears of sadness made their way down her cheeks as she quietly began to mourn
her loss.
Again, the regret of what cannot be and promises of goodbye haunted her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Inuyasha watched carefully from his perch as the monk stormed out of the house
towards the river, never once looking back and going as if the water was his
only means of escape from this world.
Seeing Kagome emerge from the brush only minutes later and head for the hut, he
realized what his own responsibility would be.
He sighed, cautiously leaping down from the tree to the sturdy ground
beneath his feet.
Wriggling his toes in the lose dirt and gravel he silently braced himself for
the inevitable task of friendship that awaited him. Since when did half-demon Inuyasha care
anyways? Well he would never get on
Kagome's good side if he did not at least try to intervene now... he had seen
it a long time coming.
Starting towards the creek that separated so many paths he thought to himself dryly,
time to face the beast and tame him. This
should prove to be adventuresome, let us just see if I live through the
explosive experience.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon arriving, he nearly missed Miroku entirely. The monk was kneeling beside the raging water
against a rock. His calm, collected face
made a deep contrast to the torrent inches away, although he was probably
contemplating whether it would be in his best interests to jump in or not.
Why was there so much pain in this world? It was a simple question with a not so simple
answer.
He did not even seem to sense Inuyasha's approaching footsteps until he was
mere feet away. Realization hit him hard
as he spun around to face him, misplacing his footing and nearly falling
backwards into the river.
He would probably have been thrown in involuntarily had the hanyou not lunged
forward and pulled him back so forcefully they toppled and landed face first
into the moist ground.
"You idiot," Inuyasha scoffed harshly, "what the hell did you do that for?" Spitting dirt and moss out of his mouth,
Miroku replied sharply with "If you had not crept up on me I would not have
jumped now would I?"
Taking a few deep breaths to steady himself he continued with a simple "Thank
you for saving me." "Hn," was the only
response he got.
"If your done with scaring me half to death then would you please leave me
alone for a bit, I need to think," and with that he promptly sat down and began
a meditation exercise he had not used in years to calm his nerves and clear his
mind.
Inuyasha sat beside him and watched him for a bit but the Houshi seemed to take
no notice at all. After awhile he
started fidgeting and finally cleared his throat for attention. He hated sitting still for long periods, much
less in silence.
The monk's eyes opened and he sighed. "What
is it?" he asked in obvious annoyance to the demon's behavior.
Inuyasha pointedly ignored the fact and proceeded to "persuade" his friend to
tell him all that happened with the utmost "patience" and "care" that such a
person as he was allowed.
Finally, the constant arguing and threats were too much a bother to listen to. It must have struck a chord for eventually Miroku
gave up the struggle and told him the sketchy details of the matter.
"...And so," he concluded with yet another downcast sigh, "she must choose
between revenge or a life with me. I
cannot go on loving her with the knowledge that she will soon be taken from me,
I just cannot.
Inuyasha could do nothing but stare at him, and stare... and stare...
Finally, the Houshi got frustrated enough to half-yell "Well? Just what would you have done?" Inuyasha did nothing more than blink at him
confused, although after awhile he just looked down.
He was not sure exactly what to say. Nothing
could have prepared him for that question.
Of course, he lived in constant fear of losing Kagome. Did not everyone live in fear of losing the
one they cared about most? I mean just
how would he cope, live even, without her?
He did not suppose he would have the strength to any more… no, not after
losing Kikyou that first time. He
shivered, no, he would forget her, and he had to in order to live his life, did
he not? Would he ever be able to love
the same way again though, with Kagome's appearance being a constant reminder
of…
He growled to himself, this was not helping Miroku. Then again thinking on his part never did. He might as well dig for further clues first. He wanted to do this correctly.
"You do not make a whole lot of sense you know that? I mean, come on, you love her and she loves
you yet instead of enjoying it for the remaining time you have, you both suffer
even more because of it."
" Of course you do not understand, how
could you?" Inuyasha stiffened at the
accusing tone in the monk's words. They managed
to cut something deep inside of him, but where?
"That is right, I remember now, I am half demon, and demons are not allowed to
love under any circumstances, only hate. So how would I know about a stupid thing like
that?" Inuyasha got up angrily and
prepared to leave. "My apologies for
thinking I could help Miroku"
"Inuyasha wait," Miroku said in alarm then hurried on. "I did not mean any of it like that. I see you and Kagome day by day, of course
demons can love!"
Inuyasha fought valiantly against the Gods cursed blush that threatened to
envelop his face any given minute.
"What? Me and that dimwit human
back there. What the...? Where did you get such a crazy…? "
Miroku just smirked at him as he continued to stumble over his words and fight
off almost certain embarrassment. " Is
it not true then, do you still hold a grudge against her? If so, I know a certain wolf-demon who would
take a delight in hearing that Kagome..."
"I am not saying anything," in a smaller voice, "besides yes." Miroku gave him a genuine grin and patted the
ground beside him, which, after hesitating a moment, the hanyou complied.
"So what are we going to do?"
" We wait; we wait until fate says it is
time."
Inuyasha snorted, "you wait, I personally have no desire to sit around here for
an almost eternity while Kagome is out there looking for me right now."
The monk chuckled lightly, "then go to her and tell your heart's desire. Swallow your pride if you can…" This time color engulfed his face to near his
neck before he even had a chance to think about defenses. Nevertheless, he complied, bounding through
the forests in search of that familiar scent.
Miroku watched in amusement as the hanyou alighted through the forest until he
was out of sight. Then he turned to face
a presence that he had started sensing about halfway through one of the oddest
conversations he had ever had in his life.
Looking at the bushes he questioned, "Are you going to remain there all night? He is gone you know." Slowly a figure rose from the brush and made
her way towards the monk stopping directly in front of him. Lifting her head slightly Sango faced him and
began.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(((((((FLASHBACK)))))))
Kagome had found her crying her eyes out in the corner of the small hut. Holding her closely she gently inquired, okay
more like demanded, just what had happened.
She told her the monk's words.
"Now that man is making me choose? It is
not fair… to top it all off I might lose a friend...why did he have to do this
to me?" The last was a choked out sob
barely whispered and Kagome nearly did not catch it at all.
She smoothed her friend's hair, quietly wondering just how to go about this. Finally she spoke, just trying to be honest,
"because he loves you," and a bit blunt.
She felt the older girl stiffen in her arms, then tear away to get a good look
at the other's face. "Loves me?" she
squeaked. Kagome's eyebrows flew up,
Sango never squeaked.
"Of course," she went on in astonishment, surely she already knew this, did she
not? "How could he put himself in all this pain if he did not?" Seeing the girl's blank look she decided she
did not understand and went on to explain.
"It has not been alright between you two has it? You have both been very nervous around each
other as of late. Before you could just
go on with your lives but fate brings you closer together, in small slight ways,
and you have to be wondering how much longer you can fight it. You are
afraid to get hurt again... do not even try denying that one... and he is absolutely
terrified he will hurt you. I think
before he could accept an early death, but now…?" She left it hanging in the air.
This was making absolutely no sense to Sango.
"Why would he care? I have heard
what he says to other women, are you deaf?"
"Ah..." said Kagome wisely. "I see, you
heard but did not listen." Sango was
very dearly wishing to smack her friend, more riddles was the last thing she
needed right now.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked in exasperation.
"It means that even though he asks
all those women he does not necessarily mean it, at least not in the way you
think. Maybe once he did but now…has it
ever occurred to you that he might just do it to annoy you? I think he rather likes the reactions you
give, the only actual indications you care for him." Kagome stated matter-of-factually.
"But he needs a suitor..."
"Before he probably did, but now,
lately... Needed, he has already found one that suits him just fine and
luckily, for him it is the women he loves more than life, more than anything. It is
you Sango."
Sango let this register for a moment before bounding down the ladder with a
hasty farewell to her friend, who just watched her go smiling all the way.
(((((((END OF FLASHBACK)))))))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now Sango stood here confronting the Houshi, readying herself for the toughest
decision of her life, hoping against hope he would accept this from her, if
nothing else.
"Miroku," she started quietly meeting his gaze, "I am sorry, but I cannot allow
myself to love you. Not yet, not now." She saw the hurt in his eyes and felt her
throat go tight at his obvious pain. He
looked down, as though unable to look at her any longer, drawing in a
shuttering breath, this could not be.
Gently Sango delicately placed her fingers beneath his chin and forced him to
look at her again, to see the true, intense emotion in her eyes.
Carefully, she brought her lips to his and caressed them for a moment or two,
closing her eyes. It was a gentle touch,
a promise of what could be, but nothing more... as of yet.
Opening them again, she smiled slightly at the look of utmost relief and utter
amazement that spread across his face. She
took his hands in hers and gave them a light squeeze.
"If you love me you will wait, as will I."
She released one of his hands and brought it up to press her cheek into
his palm, and then slowly draw it back down to offer it the tiniest of kisses.
He still looked to be in complete shock and she decided she wished to leave it
like this. Drawing away, she gave him
one more answer to consider. "You are
welcome to try to convince me to make it sooner," her eyes were dancing,
laughing at him.
Then she turned and left him gaping after her, she was really quite pleased
with herself for delivering that so well.
Her heart still fluttered in her chest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a moment or two of just standing there, Miroku managed to close his mouth and chuckled slightly to himself. He understood and her words did not faze him a bit from his heart's desire, as well as they should not. "My love, my Sango..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's note: *giggles happily* I just love writing these romantic pieces,
they are so much fun! I love it even
more when you love it too, so tell me about it and I will get cracking on the
next chapter, plenty of fluff ahead promise! In addition, I keep on forgetting to mention
that the lyrics at the beginning of each chapter are from Celine Dion's song "Immortality." Thanks and praise goes to her and the writers
for inspiration. Well hope everyone
enjoyed and I hope to hear from you all. (Final Draft)