I can't believe it's not butter!

Moshi Moshi!!! It's back!!! More chapters to Nuriko's worst nightmare…Now fat free! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! This is what happens when you don't give Nakago his medication! *pikus* Can't say I didn't warn you! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned below and I do not own "I can't believe it's not butter" and their products. For more information about this delicious margarine product…feel free to visit the official website at www.icantbelieveitsnotbutter.com …you won't be disappointed!

Note: Some bashing here and there…no flamers please!

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Chapter 4…

On a snowy winter day…Nuriko decided to make a snowman. She was looking forward to it since Hotohori promised he'd help *wink wink* but he was already an hour late so she decided to start without him…A half an hour later…Hotohori STILL hadn't shown up, (poor Nuriko) and Nuriko was practically finished. All she needed was a hat to put on top of the snowman's head. She then went back inside Hotohori's palace to find a suitable hat. When she came back outside with an adorable top-hat, she froze with shock when she saw IT! Right on top of the snowman's head was a container…not just any container…a container of "I can't believe it's not butter!"


Nuriko: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!

Some voice: You look like you can use some butter!

Nuriko: *looks scared* WHO SAID THAT!

Some voice: Why have real butter when you can have some "I can't believe it's not butter!"

Nuriko: The voice is coming from…from…the snowman?

Snowman: That's right! *snowman explodes and standing there covered in snow is none other than…*

Nuriko: AHHHH! It's NAKAGO!

Nakago: Who were you expecting? Hotohori?

Nuriko: Actually…I was! Have you seen him?

Nakago: Who cares! You look hungry! How about some pancakes! But not just any pancakes…I'll make you pancakes with some, "I can't believe it's not butter!"

Nuriko: I DON'T WANT PANCAKES AND I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID BUTTER!!! STOP STALKING ME!

Nakago: But you won't even give it a try!

Nuriko: Tough shit! Go away!

Nakago: Not until I introduce you to a new product!

Nuriko: I couldn't care less!

Nakago: "I can't believe it's not butter!" has created a cream calcium product, combining the flavorful taste of real sweet cream with the calcium you need.

Nuriko: FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T NEED CALCIUM! MY BONES ARE INVINCIBLE! SECOND OF ALL, I DON'T EVEN LIKE SWEET CREAM UNLESS IT IS ON TOP OF HOTOHORI…WHICH IT ISN'T! NOW GO AWAY BEFORE I DO SOMETHING CRAZY!

Nakago: What can be more crazier than a homo-chan like you, dressing up as a woman in love with another man who looks like a woman? HUH?

Nuriko:……….*long pause*………..FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU! *starts attacking Hotohori with a million snowballs*

Nakago: AH! *gets hit in the face* YOU SPYCHO! *gets hit in the arm* OUCH! *gets hit in the ass* AHHH! *runs away*

Nuriko: He'll never learn…

Tamara: GO NURIKO!

Jali: Hopeless…

Chapter 5…

It's the crack of dawn and Nuriko is slowly waking up. Her eyes, extremely heavy, slowly open as she tosses around in bed…

Nuriko: AHHHHHHHHH!

Nakago: *under the covers, lying right next to her…* Good morning! Are you still up for those pancakes?

Nuriko: NO! How long were you in my bed?

Nakago: *evil grin* Long enough to hear you mutter, "Mmmm…Hotohori" in your sleep!

Nuriko: *wide eyes…turns red* I DID NOT!

Nakago: Yes you did…you stud muffin! *wink wink*

Nuriko: *slaps Nakago across the face* GET AWAY FROM ME!

Nakgo: Not until you try another new product! "I can't believe it's not butter!" has just came out with a sqeezable product! It's squeezably delicious! You should try it on steamed vegetables, or a stack of pancakes…don't you want some pancakes?

Nuriko: First of all, I don't like pancakes…second of all, squeezable butter sounds pretty childish to me…and I aint a kid and I got no kids…SO FUCK OFF!

Nakago: No kids, eh? Well…you better get working on that ne? *nudge nudge…wink wink*

Nuriko: *glares*

Nakago: Come on! How could you resist "I can't believe it's not butter!" It's the rich, creamy taste you love…great for baking, cooking or for spreading on your favorite foods! Oh…and by the way…I love your pajamas!

Nuriko: *looks down at her penguins pjs (so kawaii)* They were on sale…*snaps out of it* HEY! DON'T YOU TRY TO BE MR. NICE WITH ME! GET OUT OF MY BED! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

Nakago: *gives the puppy eyes…(it's hard to imagine that freak with puppy eyes no da?)* But I just want you to try some butter…

Nuriko: AHHHHH! *throws Nakago out the window into the snow*

Tamara: Poor Nakago…*sniffle*

Jali: You actually care about that freak!?!

Tamara: No…ok…never mind then!

Jali: OY!

Chapter 6…

It was a late afternoon day…Nuriko was making some cookies for Tasuki…(he has a sweet fang…I mean sweet tooth…*pikus*)…Anyways…

Nuriko: *hears a knock at the door*…It better not be…*looks out the window* AHHH! NAKAGO! *runs around the house…I mean palace…bolting all the doors and windows*

Nakago: *still knocking…* HEY! It smells like your making something in there! It's a perfect opportunity to try the new UNSALTED "I can't believe it's not butter!" It's great for baking and it's made with sweet cream buttermilk!

Nuriko: *crouching in a corner shaking with fear* Go away…go away…go away…

Nakago: *walks into the kitchen…* AH! There you are…

Nuriko: How did you get in?

Nakago: How do you think! Through the door!

Nuriko: *still looks petrified* But I bolted all the doors and windows…

Nakago: *shrugs* Well you didn't do a good job.

Nuriko: Pleae go away…leave me alone!

Nakago: Not until you try my butter!

Nuriko: I won't!…I can't!…I'm…I'm…I'm on a diet!…*looks really dishonest* Yeah…that's it…on a diet…hehe…*looks nervous*

Nakago: Really? PERFECT! Then you can try the fat free "I can't believe it's not butter!"

Nuriko: *starts to cry* Please leave me alone…go away!!! *sniffle*

Nakago: Just give a few seconds so I can tell you a little about the product! "I can't believe it's not butter!" was developed in 1979 by the JH Filbert Co. as a spread flavored with sweet cream buttermilk. Named by JH Filbert's wife who uttered those words ("I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!") upon tasting the new product, it was first introduced in food service as a 'buttery blend' and Red Lobster® was its first customer.

Nuriko: NNNNNOOOOOOOOO! STOP!!!! *holds her head in pain* MY VIRGIN EARS!!!

Nakago: *raises eyebrow* Like I'm gonna believe you're a virgin!

Nuriko: Make it stop… Make it stop… Make it stop…

Nakago:…Alright…I'm leaving…sheesh! I know when I'm not wanted! But just in case you change your mind…*leave the "I can't believe it's not butter!" products on the counter*…you'll still have these for later. *leaves*

Nuriko: *trying to hide from the "I can't believe it's not butter!"* Burn it! Kill it! Send it to hell! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

The end…or is it? MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Jali: POOR NURIKO!!! She'll be traumatized for life!

Tamara: *shrugs* Like I said…BEWARE THE BUTTER…the "I can't believe it's not butter!" MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jali: She's lost it…AGAIN!

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I hoped you enjoyed that tale of absolute horror! Hopefully more to come! Please review! Jaa!