Chapter Eleven
Helga rode the bus home, bruised and scraped in more places than one. She looked as if she had fallen into an automatic juicer. Arnold and Gerald were talking to Sid in the seat in front of them, and Sid was whining very loudly.
"Man, oh man, Sid, you took a beating." Gerald said.
"Yeah, HELGA nearly KILLED me. I was just standing there, in line, and she just suddenly starts POUNDING on me! I didn't do anything to her! Oh yeah, that's right, she's better than me now. She suddenly has a license to WHOMP on be because she's got money. Ha!"
"Oh come on, Sid, it's not all Helga's fault. You WERE annoying her all week. I mean, just cause you're jealous doesn't mean you have an excuse to make someone's life miserable."
"Me? JEALOUS? Of her? HA! Never. No way. She's just going out of her way to put me in the ICU! EEK!" Sid shrieked as Helga moved up to the seat behind Arnold and Gerald.
"And besides, ol' long nose isn't making my life miserable. How could I let anything anyone, especially HIM, says, make a difference to me?" She said, casting a sideways glance at Arnold, who gave her a skeptical look.
"Yeah, well…you're just an ugly, mean-hearted girl who got some money. That's all."
"Mean-Hearted? Hardly."
"You didn't disagree with the ugly part."
"Oh, well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose. Though who would believe a beholder like YOU, Sidney, is either extremely ignorant, or needs to be put in a straightjacket." Helga said 'Sidney' with extra malice, and Sid bristled.
"Well….well…"
"So long, this is my stop. See ya, Football Head, Hair Boy." She said, indicating Arnold and Gerald. "Bye Pheebs." She walked down the steps cockily, head held high. She paused to push some third grader out of the way, and then walked up the path to the mansion.
"Lousy no-good bully…sometimes I wish I could just….UGH!" Sid said, mostly to himself, and partly out the window at the back of Helga's head. Arnold and Gerald exchanged a look.
"Hey, Sid, don't you think you're takin' this a little TOO seriously? I mean, it's Helga. Nothin' to be worried about, she ALWAYS does this stuff to us!" Gerald said, trying to calm Sid down. It wasn't working.
"That's the point, Gerald! We have to get her back for all she's done to us over the years! We have to strike! She walks on us like we were pavement, and what have we done to deserve it? Huh? What the heck did we do?" Sid asked, his voice rising.
"A lot." Said Arnold. Gerald stared at him.
"What are you talkin' about, Arnold?" he said, raising his left eyebrow. Phoebe calmly but quietly moved up to the seat behind them that Helga had left vacant.
"I'm talking about all the times she's given us a chance to get to know her. She's opened up, if only for an instant, so many times, and none of us have really given her a second thought. She's not - "
" - a bad person?" Sid interrupted, "Of course she is! Have you ever seen a nice person take advantage of someone smaller than them? Have you ever seen a nice person beat up an unsuspecting guy like me, just because?"
"Oh, but of course the "Unsuspecting Guy" never does anything wrong, right? What about the time the "Unsuspecting Guy" accused another "Unsuspecting Guy" of stealing a ton of money, without sufficient evidence?"
"Well…"
"And what about the time the "Unsuspecting Guy" mooned the teacher? Or when he thought he blew up the police station? Or when - "
"Alright, alright!" Sid cut him off, "It's true. I have done a few…misguided…things. But what Helga does is worse!"
Arnold gave him a hard look. "Well, let's picture this, Sid. You grow up always overshadowed by an older sibling. Your parents can't get your name right. They never look at you when they don't have to. One of them is a selfish jerk, and the other is a hopeless smoothie-holic. They never had any faith in anything you did, and they yelled at you all the time. Sound familiar to you? Anything like your own childhood?"
Sid blinked. "No. No it's not."
"Precisely. What do you think would happen when you finally met some people your age? When you've been yelled at all your life, what do you know about good behavior? All you'd know is cruelty, because you'd have learnt it by example. How would you make friends? With such a rough exterior, how would you lure anyone close enough to see your true nature?"
"What true nature, that she doesn't want to make me miserable, but she wants to kill me instead?" Sid interjected. Arnold shook his head.
"No. Helga's good inside, I know because I've seen it. She's not just a bully. She's a living, breathing person, with compassion, love and feeling. She doesn't want to hurt any of us, but she's so afraid, so deathly afraid, that someone actually WOULD come close enough to see her true nature, that she'll endlessly build up her defenses until even SHE thinks that's what she's really like. All you're doing by hating her is perpetuating this whole situation, and pushing her farther away from all of us.
"I know I can reach her. I've done it several times before, but she's always pulled away just as soon as I can penetrate her defenses and see her true self. But, truth be told, I've never really seen it in its entirety. It's like I've looked at it through a keyhole, but the door stays locked to everyone. I intend to unlock it, if it's the last thing I do. This is my stop. Come on Gerald. Goodbye, Sid." Arnold gave him one last look, and walked off the bus, Gerald in tow.
Sid sat in his seat, dumbfounded. Whatever Helga had done to Arnold, it was messing with his mind.
"Hello? Oh, hey Pheebs. Did you see the look on Sid's face? Oh, it was - what? Sorry, I can't hear you, let me switch ears…Bob, keep it down! Alright, what, Pheebs? Hey, talk slower, I can't understand you! Yes? Yes?
"……ARNOLD SAID *WHAT*??"
Sorry it's been a while, guys. REALLY sorry. Oh, well...I'm "Back in the Swing"! I know what's going to happen in the rest of the story! WHOO!
-I. Krag
Helga rode the bus home, bruised and scraped in more places than one. She looked as if she had fallen into an automatic juicer. Arnold and Gerald were talking to Sid in the seat in front of them, and Sid was whining very loudly.
"Man, oh man, Sid, you took a beating." Gerald said.
"Yeah, HELGA nearly KILLED me. I was just standing there, in line, and she just suddenly starts POUNDING on me! I didn't do anything to her! Oh yeah, that's right, she's better than me now. She suddenly has a license to WHOMP on be because she's got money. Ha!"
"Oh come on, Sid, it's not all Helga's fault. You WERE annoying her all week. I mean, just cause you're jealous doesn't mean you have an excuse to make someone's life miserable."
"Me? JEALOUS? Of her? HA! Never. No way. She's just going out of her way to put me in the ICU! EEK!" Sid shrieked as Helga moved up to the seat behind Arnold and Gerald.
"And besides, ol' long nose isn't making my life miserable. How could I let anything anyone, especially HIM, says, make a difference to me?" She said, casting a sideways glance at Arnold, who gave her a skeptical look.
"Yeah, well…you're just an ugly, mean-hearted girl who got some money. That's all."
"Mean-Hearted? Hardly."
"You didn't disagree with the ugly part."
"Oh, well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose. Though who would believe a beholder like YOU, Sidney, is either extremely ignorant, or needs to be put in a straightjacket." Helga said 'Sidney' with extra malice, and Sid bristled.
"Well….well…"
"So long, this is my stop. See ya, Football Head, Hair Boy." She said, indicating Arnold and Gerald. "Bye Pheebs." She walked down the steps cockily, head held high. She paused to push some third grader out of the way, and then walked up the path to the mansion.
"Lousy no-good bully…sometimes I wish I could just….UGH!" Sid said, mostly to himself, and partly out the window at the back of Helga's head. Arnold and Gerald exchanged a look.
"Hey, Sid, don't you think you're takin' this a little TOO seriously? I mean, it's Helga. Nothin' to be worried about, she ALWAYS does this stuff to us!" Gerald said, trying to calm Sid down. It wasn't working.
"That's the point, Gerald! We have to get her back for all she's done to us over the years! We have to strike! She walks on us like we were pavement, and what have we done to deserve it? Huh? What the heck did we do?" Sid asked, his voice rising.
"A lot." Said Arnold. Gerald stared at him.
"What are you talkin' about, Arnold?" he said, raising his left eyebrow. Phoebe calmly but quietly moved up to the seat behind them that Helga had left vacant.
"I'm talking about all the times she's given us a chance to get to know her. She's opened up, if only for an instant, so many times, and none of us have really given her a second thought. She's not - "
" - a bad person?" Sid interrupted, "Of course she is! Have you ever seen a nice person take advantage of someone smaller than them? Have you ever seen a nice person beat up an unsuspecting guy like me, just because?"
"Oh, but of course the "Unsuspecting Guy" never does anything wrong, right? What about the time the "Unsuspecting Guy" accused another "Unsuspecting Guy" of stealing a ton of money, without sufficient evidence?"
"Well…"
"And what about the time the "Unsuspecting Guy" mooned the teacher? Or when he thought he blew up the police station? Or when - "
"Alright, alright!" Sid cut him off, "It's true. I have done a few…misguided…things. But what Helga does is worse!"
Arnold gave him a hard look. "Well, let's picture this, Sid. You grow up always overshadowed by an older sibling. Your parents can't get your name right. They never look at you when they don't have to. One of them is a selfish jerk, and the other is a hopeless smoothie-holic. They never had any faith in anything you did, and they yelled at you all the time. Sound familiar to you? Anything like your own childhood?"
Sid blinked. "No. No it's not."
"Precisely. What do you think would happen when you finally met some people your age? When you've been yelled at all your life, what do you know about good behavior? All you'd know is cruelty, because you'd have learnt it by example. How would you make friends? With such a rough exterior, how would you lure anyone close enough to see your true nature?"
"What true nature, that she doesn't want to make me miserable, but she wants to kill me instead?" Sid interjected. Arnold shook his head.
"No. Helga's good inside, I know because I've seen it. She's not just a bully. She's a living, breathing person, with compassion, love and feeling. She doesn't want to hurt any of us, but she's so afraid, so deathly afraid, that someone actually WOULD come close enough to see her true nature, that she'll endlessly build up her defenses until even SHE thinks that's what she's really like. All you're doing by hating her is perpetuating this whole situation, and pushing her farther away from all of us.
"I know I can reach her. I've done it several times before, but she's always pulled away just as soon as I can penetrate her defenses and see her true self. But, truth be told, I've never really seen it in its entirety. It's like I've looked at it through a keyhole, but the door stays locked to everyone. I intend to unlock it, if it's the last thing I do. This is my stop. Come on Gerald. Goodbye, Sid." Arnold gave him one last look, and walked off the bus, Gerald in tow.
Sid sat in his seat, dumbfounded. Whatever Helga had done to Arnold, it was messing with his mind.
"Hello? Oh, hey Pheebs. Did you see the look on Sid's face? Oh, it was - what? Sorry, I can't hear you, let me switch ears…Bob, keep it down! Alright, what, Pheebs? Hey, talk slower, I can't understand you! Yes? Yes?
"……ARNOLD SAID *WHAT*??"
Sorry it's been a while, guys. REALLY sorry. Oh, well...I'm "Back in the Swing"! I know what's going to happen in the rest of the story! WHOO!
-I. Krag