I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!
Moshi Moshi! Sorry I didn't write/upload any of this sooner…here's my excuse: ff.net was down and I'm a lazy ass so there! "I can't believe it's not butter!" better get it's ass up here in Canada before I start going insane! (A little too late for that, huh?) BTW…if any one else believes that the penguins will take over the world (like I do) then perhaps you should start therapy since my bad influences can't be good for your health…or you could just devote your life to the penguins and act as their slave…( NOT their dutch doll…*shivers*) ENJOY!
Disclaimer: Same as last chapter…
Let's continue then…
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Chapter 14…
Hotohori: So what's the plan, chibi?
Chiriko: *glare* We must get Nuriko first! Nuriko is their leader. Take away their leader, and the rest of them will be like shooting fish in a barrel.
Nakago: Mmmm...fish…
Chiriko: *pikus* I am working with chimps!
Hotohori: So how do we get her…him…it…whatever?
Chiriko: We can't use brute force since she'll easily kick all of our asses. So we will use brains…we will out-smart her.
Nakago: But let's face the facts…we're all idiots.
Chiriko: Correction…YOU are all idiots. I am a genius with an IQ of 206. So naturally…I have a plan…*looks at Hotohori * Are you willing to go where no man has gone before?
Hotohori: *gulp* I am not doing anything that has to do with milk!
Chiriko:…right…Anymeow…here's the plan…
Back to Nuriko and Co.
Nuriko: Ok…let's face the facts…we are ALL idiots.
Everyone: *nods in agreement*
Nuriko: But we do have one thing…POWER! I am the strongest human being on the planet…no man or woman can out match my beauty OR strength…and let's not forget that I am aswell the most polite and modest person alive too. *big grin*
Tasuki: *rolls eyes*
Nuriko: Chiriko can probably out-smart us…easily…very easily…but if we can pin him down and knock him out, he'll be on our side in no time.
Tasuki: So how do we get to him. Nakago and Hotohori are pretty tough.
Nuriko: Perhaps against you…but against me…I'll squish 'em like bugs.
Tasuki: *mumbling* quotes the character who died first in the series….
Nuriko: HEY! I HEARD THAT!
Chichiri: Ok no da…I think I'll be able to get the kid here, but you will have to do the rest.
Tamahome: And what am I suppose to do?
Chichiri: You go…uh…you go…*pondering*
Tasuki: Why don't you go find Mitsukake…he's probably wondering the hell is going on.
Tamahome: OK! *runs off*
Nuriko: FINALLY! I thought we would never get rid of him!
Tasuki: TO THE BUS!
Meanwhile…
Hotohori: NO FUCKING WAY!
Chiriko: Come on!
Hotohori: FORGET IT! I AM NOT STOOPING THAT LOW!
Nakago: But it's the only way!
Hotohori: NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER!
Chiriko: Please! You're the only one who can pull this off! She doesn't worship the essence of the rest of us.
Hotohori: *pouting* But it's gross and…well…GAY!
Chiriko: *kawaii puppy eyes* Pllllleeeeeeaaaaassssseeee!?
Hotohori:…I'll think about it! *stomps off*
Now to Tamahome…
Mitsukake: Dammit! I don' wanna be in this fic!
Tamara: Tough shit!
Tamahome: Hey Mitsukake…
Tamaneko: Meow…*big smiley face*
Mitsukake: Whatcha want? *still glaring at Tamara*
Tamahome: Oh…I just wanted to let you know that Nakago, Hotohori and the small brainiac are under the spell of the "I can't believe it's not butter!" and are trying to turn us all into their mindless slaves.
Mitsukake:…*blink blink*…Oh, I see…*starts giggling* APRIL FOOLS TO YOU TOO!
Tamahome: *piku* I'm serious!
Mitsukake: Sure…*wink wink* Don't worry, I won't tell the others about your plan…
Tamahome: But I'm not kidding!
Mitsukake: Your secret is safe with me!
Tamahome: BUT…
Mitsukake: *cuts Tama off* Trust me…look…I got to go heal the dying now…great joke though! *walks away*
Tamaneko: Meow! *smiling stupidly* Meow! *starts rubbing against Tama's leg*
Tamahome: Ew…get it off!
Tamaneko: Meow…I believe you!
Tamahome: ?
Tamaneko: Don't worry…Mitsu-chan will soon learn the truth in his own time…
Tamahome: Did you just talk?
Tamaneko:…*shakes his head in a "no…" fashion and runs away*
Tamahome: I should start cutting down on those beers…
Back the Chiriko and Nakago…
Hotohori: *comes back* Hello!
Chiriko: So? Are you going to do it?
Hotohori: Do what?
Chiriko: Seduce Nuriko to get her to eat the "I can't believe it's not butter!" bakara!
Hotohori: Oh yeah! That! Your "plan" hehe…Sure! I'll do it!
Nakago: Wow…what a change of heart…
Hotohori: Yeah…well…how can someone with such a beautiful face like mine refuse seduction?
Chiriko: Well…what are you waiting for! Get your ass over to the palace!
Hotohori: Sure…but first I need to talk to you…alone…
Chiriko: Why?
Hotohori: It's uh…private!
Chiriko: Ok…*walks into the other room with Hotohori* What is it?
Hotohori: I lost a penny in my hat…and I need someone with small hands to reach in there and pull it out since it's stuck in the hat's fibers.
Chiriko: *confused look* You want me to get a penny out of your hat?
Hotohori: *nods*
Chiriko: And this is a private matter because…?
Hotohori: Well…you see…it's Nakago's penny and he'll get mad at me if he knew I stole it.
Chiriko: But it's just ONE penny…
Hotohori: Nakago is a freak…he would care.
Chiriko: I don't see why you need me to get a penny out of your hat…it's not like you NEED it.
Hotohori: True…except it feels really uncomfortable when I wear the hat since the penny digs into my skull.
Chiriko: *mumbling* That explains the brain damage…
Hotohori: What was that?
Chiriko: NOTHING! Uh…I rather not…
Hotohori: *pulls out a poncho* Please…for me…*flashes eyelashes*
Chiriko: This sounds kinda weird…I think you need some therapeutic help…
Hotohori: DAMN YOU! Just do it!
Chiriko: *comforts Hoto-chan* There there…it's ok to have a mental problem…
Hotohori: Just put your freaking hand into the freaking hat! *twitch twitch*
Chiriko: Right…*slowly backing away*
Hotohori: COLAIS TABARNAQUE! (that is French for those of you who don't know) *grabs Chiriko's hand* GO IN THE HAT! *shoves his hand into the hat*
Chiriko: *suddenly gets sucked/pulled into the poncho* GYAAAAAAAAH!
Hotohori: *smirk* You're one annoying little smart ass no da! *pulls off a mask and wig revealing Chichiri*
Chiriko: *from inside the hat* WHAT THE FUCK!
Chichiri: Hehe…*jumps into the hat and disappears as the hat flies away*
Chapter 15…
Now to the REAL Hotohori…
Hotohori: I can't believe I'm doing this…*knocks on the palace door*
Nuriko: *opens it holding a frying pan* YOU! *about to whack Hotohori with it*
Hotohori: WAIT! I'm a good guy! I come in peace!
Nuriko: *squinty glare* You're lying and you suck at it!
Hotohori: I'm swear to the Gods! I got in a fight with Nakago and I accidentally ate some banana bread made with REAL butter, and now I'm one of the good guys!
Nuriko: I still don't believe you!
Hotohori: I'm serious! *pulls out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back* I brought these for you.
Nuriko: *glare* Hmmm…*grabs the flowers and begins to examine them* They look real. *she sniffs them* They smell real…*she puts her ear to one of them* The sound real…
Hotohori: *blink blink*
Nuriko: Ok…well…the flowers are safe, but you're still an ass!
Hotohori: You're right…I am lying!
Nuriko: I knew it! *raises frying pan menacingly*
Hotohori: WAIT! I mean I'm lying that I'm not here to join you! I'm here to announce my love for you!
Nuriko: *blink blink* I'm listening…
Hotohori: I…I…I love the way you smile. And the way you look so pretty in a dress…prettier than most real women!
Nuriko: *raises frying pan threateningly*
Hotohori: I mean prettier than ALL real women! Hehe…
Nuriko: *lowers frying pan*
Hotohori: And even though we are both men…*shivers*…I…I can pretend that you are a woman….Since you look like a woman…and act like a woman…and become mysteriously bitchy once a month like a woman…
Nuriko: *raises frying pan*
Hotohori: I mean I like that about you! You're so feminine. And I'm so feminine…we can get along great!
Nuriko: *lowers frying pan*
Hotohori: I want to get to know you better! I want to prove that Lactancia™® butter is the only way to go! Please…allow me to bake a cake in your honour…to prove myself to you!
Nuriko: *almost in tears* It would be my pleassure…*hugs Hotohori*
Hotohori: *really freaked out/disgusted face* Hehe…
Nuriko: *squeezes Hoto-chan harder*
Hotohori: *turning purple* Can't breath…
Inside the palace…
Tasuki: Where the fuck is everybody? *something hits him on the back of head* OW! What the…*sees the poncho* ABOUT TIME!
Chichiri: *climbs out of the hat* Moshi!
Tasuki: Where's the shrimp?
Chichiri: *pulls on a cord and Chiriko is dragged out of the hat all tied up*
Chiriko: What's going on? *sees Tasuki* TRAITER!
Tasuki: *rolls eyes*
Chichiri: Let "Operation exorcist on the chibi" commence no da!
Chiriko: STOP CALLING ME A CHIBI!
Tasuki: *whispers to Chichiri* You should have gagged him.
Chapter 16…
Tasuki: *tying Chiriko to a tree* OW! Stop kicking…it will be easier for the both of us!
Chiriko: Bite me, pyro!
Tasuki: Hey! Pyro's are cool! An anime wouldn't be an anime if their weren't any pyros.
Chiriko: Not only are you fire obsessed, you're also a moronic waste of life! Anime's are based on complicated story lines, amazing art, and crossdressing and homosexuals! No one gives a rat's ass about the pyros!
Tasuki: WHY YOU LITTLE FUCKING RUNT! *about to strangle Chiriko*
Chichiri: HEY! *holds Tasuki back* We need him no da!
Tasuki: I'm gonna kill you!
Chiriko: *sticks out tongue*
Chichiri: CALM DOWN NO DA!
Tasuki: Where is that fucking gag!
Chiriko: *smirk*
Tasuki: *rips off a piece of his shirt and gags Chiriko*
Chiriko: *glare*
Tasuki: Now let's get this over with before I kill that fucking kid!
Chichiri: Alright no da! I'll go get Nuriko.
Meanwhile…
Nuriko: WOW! *drool* Hotohori! That's the bigest chocolate cake I've ever seen! It looks so delicious!
Hotohori: *fake smile* And it's all for you! Hehe…
Nuriko: WOW! It's my dream come true! Food AND Hoto-sama in the same room at the same time!
Hotohori: Right…Here! *cuts Nuriko a piece* Chow down!
Nuriko: OK! *grabs a fork*
Chichiri: *opens the door* Nuriko…we're ready to start "Operation… *sees Hoto-chan* What's he doing here no da? *remembers Chiriko's plan when he pretended to be Hotohori* SHIT!
Nuriko: *about to put a piece of the cake into her mouth*
Chichiri: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO da!
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AHAHAHAHAHA! Another cliff hanger! I'm sure you ALL hate me by now…(what else is new) Now…if you want to know what happens…YOU MUST REVIEW! No reviews mean no more "I can't believe it's not butter!" ficcie! Jaa!