Chapter Two

Nobody reviewed.

After approximately 9627 games of Jen-ken, 39 karaoke competitions, 812 staring contests, 74 discussions of Jen-ken strategy, 4351 conversations about what the new planet might be like, and far too many awkward silences to count….

Mariya: Look! We're almost there!

Indeed, a small planet is visible through the viewing shield. Milky blue oceans, almost completely green continents, a tiny gray moon orbiting nearby—this is it.

SALEI: Ooh, pretty. Doesn't look too dangerous from up here, but as you know, danger never shows until it's too late. Far, far too late….and then it's THE TEETH!

Mariya: …teeth? Oh, never mind….can you calculate how long it'll be until we're close enough to land?

SALEI: 'bout a day, unless we set this thing into hyperdrive, send it zooming into the moon, get a boost off it, and cause a huge crater when we land….if we do that, and I really wouldn't recommend it because it would get us KILLED, it'll take ten minutes or so.

Mariya: Possible death and insane maneuvers, or another day with only you for company? I think I'll take the risk, thank you very much. Engage hyperdrive! Or something…

SALEI gives Mariya a very strange look, but types in a command to the control panel. Nothing happens.

SALEI: Eh? Why isn't it respondiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii—

And then, something does happen! The Zith Runner shoots crazily towards the moon at roughly five times its normal speed, crashes smack-dab onto the moon's surface, bounces off, and plummets down to the planet, only to land in a spectacular display of terra flying everywhere. The viewing shield pops open, and a very bedraggled SALEI falls out. Mariya, twitching and with a shell-shocked expression on her face, at least manages to walk out of the Zith Runner before collapsing.

Mariya: Let's….never….do….that….again.

SALEI: The ship probably doesn't have enough energy to take on another hyperdrive, anyway.

The two push themselves up from the ground, and survey their new surroundings. Lots of green. Trees, bushes, vines, flowers, it's quite definitely a jungle here. Not too far away, a large expanse of milky-blue water is visible, lined by a nice sandy beach and plenty of rocks. Some heads are poking up out of the water….

Mariya: I don't suppose the locals would be happy to just tell me the planet's name, their name, a slight cultural status, and a description of the typical person around here, would they?

SALEI: Well, I don't know, they might attack us with their nasty sharp pointy TEETH….but I'll go ask.

Ever the optimist, isn't she? The heads start talking excitedly as SALEI nears them, and several rise out of the water to reveal light blue humanoid bodies. Probably their most distinctive feature is the fact that their legs are webbed, making the lower portion of their body look much like a big fin. At a closer glance, you'd notice that they've got small holes on each side of their heads, nostrils(closed at the moment, since they were swimming) but NOT a nose, strange thick semicircular lips, webbed fingers/toes, gills on their neck, and a line running from their ankles to their shoulders on each side of their body. All in all, they look—there simply isn't another word for it—fishy.

SALEI: Hello there! We're census takers from the planet Irk, and it's our job to ask you a few questions….

Fish-person: Lalli lulo! Leeai nalla?

SALEI: I'm afraid I don't understand, sir. If you wait just a minute, my programming will analyze your language, and we'll be able to converse.

SALEI's optics flicker briefly to a SIR-red, and there's a small humming sound that turns to a beep.

SALEI: Processing….done. Hello?

Fish-person: Hello! New Lalli?

Mariya: SALEI, I really don't understand what they're saying.

SALEI: No problem, ma'am. Simply give me your hand.

Mariya does so, looking a little puzzled. With a click and a whirr, one of SALEI's fingers extends a needle, and she jabs it into Mariya's wrist.

Mariya: YEOWCH! Ow….that HURT.

SALEI: Good. It's supposed to. Right now there should be some nano-bots running through your bloodstream, emitting the language in brief radio waves that add the knowledge to your brain, assuming, that is, that I estimated your height correctly…otherwise they'll be telling your heart how to speak Lalli, in which case it'll go crazy, and the rapid beating will kill you instantly. Or it might be transmitting to your antennae, which would make you very twitchy and highly sensitive to sound to the extent of going deaf when something loud happens.

Mariya: *wincing* I think it worked…hmm….Hi there! My name's Mariya, and this is SALEI. Who are you?

Fish-person: Lilly! Mah-ee-ha and SALEI no look like Lalli. Where from?

SALEI: Mah-ee-ha, eh? Maybe they can't say the letter R. We're from….someplace far away. Can you answer a few of our questions?

Lilly: Yes!

Mariya: I remember what to do from training, SALEI, so you probably don't need to talk for me anymore. Ahem. This planet is called Lalli, correct? Are your language and species also called Lalli?

Lilly: We're all Lalli! Voices Lalli, people Lalli, land Lalli.

Mariya: What's the planet like? Any particularly large resources available here?

Lilly: …we got a lot of water…..and plants. Lots of plants.

SALEI: What my partner means is, do you have any interesting things in rocks? Shiny things? Plants that make a decent nacho substitute?

Lilly: Oh, those things! Shiny rock hard to find. Nacho sound funny.

SALEI: Great. We got stuck with the worthless planet. No resources, incredibly stupid people, and nasty sharp pointy TEETH just WAITING to come after us! Well, our job's done, really….we can go back to Irk and report to the Tallest about the names and things so the technicians can plug it into the database.

Mariya: (looking thoughtful) I don't know, I kind of like it here….on Irk there aren't a lot of landscapes like this. And the people don't seem to be stupid as much as friendly….children, almost.

SALEI: …so I got stuck with the worthless master, too. Come on, let's get going! The faster we leave the faster we'll get back.

Mariya: Just a little longer, SALEI. We can report back with the ship's built-in com link.

SALEI: The ship has a built-in com link? Why didn't you tell me that before? We could have used it to talk to somebody besides ourselves.

Mariya: (shrugging) I just thought of it, that's all. Don't most Runners have a com link? It makes sense that the Zith would have one too.

SALEI: Fine. One week, and then we go back.

Mariya: Yay! You go to the ship and report, I'll talk with these people some more. And find out what that 'water' substance is.

SALEI would probably have rolled her optics if that was possible, but she walked back to the ship. After a little fiddling around, the com link was located, and an image of the Tallest appeared on a screen.

SALEI: Greetings, my Tallest! The mission goes well, seeing as nasty sharp pointy TEETH have not yet showed up. Scout Mariya's planet is called Lalli, as are the people and language. Not a lot of resources except for plants and something called 'water', which Mariya is finding out about right now.

(in the background: "GAH! IT BUUUUUURNS!")

SALEI: ….from the sound of it, water is completely useless unless it can be turned into a weapon of some sort. We'll stay here another week and return to Irk. Any questions?

Tallest Purple: No….but you're the first Scout team to report back, so we'll let you actually come back to Irk. Eh, if there's time for it you'll get a medal or something.

Tallest Red: If you see any other Scouts, tell them that they're officially banished and can't return. Ever.

SALEI: It's unlikely, but we shall do so if that event pops up. SALEI out.

The screen retracts back into the ship, and SALEI looks out over the horizon. No base-building capabilities, no disguises….they're lucky that the planet's inhabitants are friendly. At least, the ones they've met so far. Lalli appears to be a fairly quiet, peaceful place—too bad it'll be conquered once an Invader gets freed up. Master Mariya won't like that, but she's just a Scout. The Tallest don't care what she thinks.

Sorry I haven't updated in a long time…..reviews will be much appreciated.