Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, creatures or locations from Final Fantasy 8 – they all belong to Squaresoft.
Aftermath
Chapter 8
From: Raine Loire, Winhill Pub
To: Edea Kramer, Centra Lighthouse
Greetings………
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A gentle Spring breeze blew in through the open window of the room Cid and Edea were already calling their sitting room. Even before a child had entered the orphanage, it had become their private sanctuary, away from the noise and mess in other parts of the lighthouse. Edea was taking a welcome break from choosing gender-neutral bedlinen which would both wear well and not show the dirt too much. She sat curled up on an ancient armchair, a legacy from the previous owner of the old stone building; in her hand she held Raine's latest letter.
Turning away from the myriad colours of the wildflowers in the meadow outside her window, she looked down at the folded paper and frowned. The address on the front had obviously been written in haste, but also the writing was scratchy and badly formed, as if the writer was in some distress. Hoping to find explanations within, she hurriedly broke the seal and began to read.
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'Oh, Edea, I'm in such a mess!' wrote Raine. 'Laguna has – gone! Left me and our baby! I'm at my wit's end. And my contractions have started – it must be the stress – and he's going to miss the birth.
'I'm trying to stay calm, truly I am. I can almost hear you telling me to take deep breaths! No, no jokes – if I start laughing now I'll be having full blown hysterics in half a minute, and then I'll never get this letter written. This is the only one I'm going to write today – everyone else will have to wait until after the baby is born. But I have to tell someone what happened with Laguna today while it's all fresh in my mind.'
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Edea sat stunned by what she had read. What could possibly have been so important that Laguna would abandon his wife and unborn child? She had always been uneasy about him, but had been prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt in light of Raine's obvious devotion. Still, she would never have suspected him of this. Surely, if he was going to give up on his family he would have done so months ago?
From Raine's opening words, Edea believed that the answers lay within the sheets of paper before her. But it was also obvious that Raine had been crying whilst she was writing (the ink was smudged and blotched in several places) and Raine's tears provided answers of their own.
Vowing that she would make Laguna Loire pay for whatever pain he caused her young friend, Edea returned to her letter.
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'It's amazing how just writing to you makes me feel calmer,' she read. 'Edea, I miss you so much, even after all these years. But, what must be going through your mind? I've just re-read my opening lines – they paint a black picture, don't they? But I'm in a black state of mind, as you will well understand.
'Let me put your mind at rest on one thing. Laguna has not abandoned us entirely – he has gone in search of Ellone, who is as dear to us both as our own child could ever be.
'As usual, I'm starting my tale in the middle, and expecting you to make sense of it. Well, if all the tales I've heard of first births are true, I have enough time to tell this properly, so I'd better begin at the beginning.
'Yesterday, Ellone went with Laguna to Jem's farm to visit our friends, and to give me a chance to get my feet up for an hour or two. She went outside with Jem's youngest children while Laguna sat chatting to the older lads in the farm kitchen. Suddenly, the farm children all came running into the house, crying and shouting – but without Ellone.
'When they had calmed down a little, they said that Estharian soldiers had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. The children couldn't understand what they were saying, but they recognised the words 'Odine' and 'Ellone'. Well, Ellone's such a friendly little thing, so of course, she steps forward, bold as brass and says, "I'm Ellone – I'm the one you're looking for"! The silly girl! One of the soldiers grabbed hold of her and they must have activated some sort of device because they disappeared as suddenly as they arrived. Oh, yes, before they vanished, Ellone had time to tell the other children not to worry about her, because Uncle Laguna would rescue her.
'Well, you can imagine the state Laguna was in when he got back home. He was all for rushing off there and then! If Jem's lad hadn't driven him home, I don't think he would even have stopped by the pub to tell me about it.
'I couldn't believe he would even suggest leaving me at a time like this. The baby is due any day now – I need Laguna here! What is so hard to understand about that? Edea, tell me, am I being selfish – unfeeling? I can't bear the thought of her being the subject of some experiment – but our baby is important, too.'
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At this point, the words were almost totally obliterated by Raine's tears, and Edea had to turn her face away before her own added to the damage. Now she saw the terrible choice which Laguna had had to make, and began to understand the arguments Raine had used to persuade him to stay – the arguments which had ultimately failed.
She wondered what choice she would make in similar circumstances. Was it possible to choose one child over another? What sacrifice would a parent not make for a child? She had no children in her care, yet; but she prayed that she would never face such a choice when she did.
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'I've taken your advice,' Raine resumed, 'at least what I think your advice would have been. I took a break for a few minutes to make a cup of tea. I am going to try and finish this in one go, now, as the midwife will be here soon. So, I'll be strong, no more tears – at least not too many.
'I managed to get Laguna to come to bed. He was exhausted by the strain and worry, and I didn't want him to make himself ill on top of everything else. I collapsed beside him a few minutes later, and fell into the deepest sleep of my life. I know I dreamed – frightening dreams that I can't really remember now. Suddenly I awoke, desperately thirsty. So, I started to slide out of bed as slowly as I could so as not to wake Laguna. When I finally stood on the floor, I turned to check on him – but he wasn't there!
'Well, I became frantic, thinking some strange being had whisked him away as well. But then I heard him moving about downstairs. I shouted his name, as loudly as I could, and the noises stopped. I lit a lamp, and held it above my head so I could see where I was going, then headed for the stairs.
'"Laguna! What are you doing down there?" I shouted, and started waddling down after him, as fast as I could.
'When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I could see him standing in the middle of the pub as if my voice had cast a Stop spell on him. We just stared at each other for about a minute; then finally I found my voice again.
'"So, this is how it is, is it?" I demanded. "You just sneak off into the night like a thief, or something? Without a word? Without even a goodbye? Without waiting for our child to be born?"
'"I have to find Ellone," he said, in this strange, calm voice, as if nothing were wrong.
'"And Ellone is more important than me and our baby?" I screamed. I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth, but I couldn't take them back. His face fell as if I had just slapped him, then it twisted up into a mask of horror and anger. Suddenly, I didn't know the man in front of me.
'"Of course she isn't!" he shouted. "But you and the baby will still be here when we come home. Hyne alone knows what's happening to Ellone right at this moment! How can you even think of leaving her there?"
'"Because," I said, as patiently as I could, "Ellone will be well cared for, wherever she is. This Dr Odine, or whatever his name is, wants to use her abilities. He'll make sure she doesn't come to any harm."
'"How do you know?" he demanded. "How can you be so sure that he needs her in one piece for his experiments?"
'Of course I had no answer to that question, and he took my silence as answer enough. He tried to smile and said, "Don't worry, Love. We'll be back before you know it." Then he turned back towards the door.
'I started crying, begging him not to leave. I can't remember half of what I said. I tried to get across the pub towards him but suddenly all the chairs and tables seemed to be doing everything they could to get in my way. Before I was half-way, he had already reached the door. As he raised his hand to open it, I tried one last time to persuade him to stay.
'"Please, Laguna, stay! Just until the baby is born!"
'"I'm sorry, Raine,' he replied. "I have to go and look for her."
'That was it – something snapped inside me. "Sorry!" I screamed at him. "Sorry! Don't you dare use that word. Don't you dare walk out of here, and tell me you're SORRY!"
'There were tears in his eyes – they glittered in the light from my lamp, forcing me to see them even through my own. There was nothing else for either of us to say. He whispered, "Goodbye" and left.
'I just sank down onto the floor of the pub and sobbed for hours. I don't know when the contractions started – sometime before dawn, I think. They've been getting stronger and more regular all day. I sent for the midwife over an hour ago, so she should be back soon. I am just so tired, Edea. I wish I could just go to sleep, and this whole nightmare would vanish when I woke up.
'I'm going to sign off, now. I have to concentrate on getting this baby born! I'll write soon, with whatever news I have.'
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Once more, Edea fought back tears. The letter was dated over a week ago; Raine must have forgotten to send it. But of course, she had so many other things on her mind - it was a wonder she had remembered to post it at all. But it was strange that she had not written again with further news as she had promised. If she had remembered to post one letter, why not scribble a quick note containing a brief update and send both?
Giving up on that puzzle, she instead tried to make sense of what Raine had written. Ellone had been kidnapped by Estharian soldiers, presumably working for Odine. Edea remembered that Raine had originally taken the little girl in when her parents were killed during a search for the next Sorceress. So Ellone must posses at least some magical ability.
Edea thought that Raine was probably right in her assumption that Ellone would be well cared for by the scientists. It would be against their own interests to harm her. And yet, she could not condemn Laguna's actions, either. Raine and the baby would be safe in Winhill, whilst Hyne alone knew what horrors Ellone was being subjected to.
In the end, Edea found that she could not choose between the two sides. All she could do, especially at this distance, was to pray that all the members of the Loire family were safe and well.
A/N – I have been dreading and looking forward to writing this chapter in just about equal measure. I have wanted to write the scene where Laguna leaves to search for Ellone for a long time. But I knew it could never be a happy one, especially with the tragedy which later unfolds. I have tried to make it as heart-rending as I could. Only you, gentle reader, can judge on the result. And I didn't want to judge Laguna harshly – the choice he had to make was an impossible one.