Celebrity deathmatch:Anime style!

(Episode 2)



The camera comes on and we see Goku and Vegeta sitting behind the comentary desk.

"Hello and welcome to Celebrity deatmatch! Im Goku-son...."

"And im Vegeta.."

"And tonight we have three great fights between your favorite anime stars! First up is a battle for title of "Best anime pet" ,with Ryoki VS Luna the cat"

"The second battle is Zechs Marquis VS Traieze Kush Rinada."

"These two opposed each other in the final battles of Gundam wing,but didnt battle in person.Theyre out to change that tonight."

"The main event is a battle for the title of "Cutest Anime little girl"with Sasami VS Rini!"

"But now we go to the ring for our first match"

Mills lane,standing in the center of the ring,motions for the combatants to come to the center of the ring.

"Ok,I want a good clean fight.Now lets get it on!"

Luna strikes first with her only weapon.

"Quick Sailor moon,use the Moon scepter! Sailor moon? Oh yes thats right you died last episode.............What am I supposed to do now?"

Ryoki goes

"Meow!!!"

And turns into Her space ship form.She uses her Lasers and blows Luna into a million pieces.Vegeta is suprised.

"That was pretty short"

Goku nods

"Well it was only a filler fight,no one could possibly have found that fight interesting...."

The transmission is cut for 2 minutes (Technical difficulties) while Goku gets told off by the Network represenative.The screen come back on.Goku has a huge fake grin on his face.

"Well I don't know what could top that,but now we have our second fight.Would you explain the unique stipulations for this match to the audience?"

Vegeta gets annoyed and smoke starts coming out of his ears.

"Grrrr...............Well in this fight the combatants are fighting from their Mobile suits rather then hand to hand,probably because of their pretty boy strength levels."

"The ring has been moved out of the center of the Arena to provide room for the mechs to maneuver."

"Traieze is piloting the Tall geese III........"

A schematic comes up showing the mech and its stats.

"It weighs 67 tons,can attain speeds in excess of 3000 miles per hour within the atmosphere,able to stop from that full speed in less then 10 seconds,and armed with 2 banks of High speed rotary cannons,A Class 7 Particle Projection Cannon,and a Fusion powerd Plasma sword."

Goku is all bug eyed.

"The Epion weighs 59 tons,and can attain speeds of up to 4000 mph within the atmosphere,and is able to stop from that top speed within 8 seconds.But because of its greater speed it carries fewer weapons.The "Whip", as its called,is fully autonamous and Razor edged device that superheats and destroys any enemy it comes in contact with.It also is provided with the obligitory Fusion powered plasma sword.The most intrguing aspect of this machine is its abitily to show the user his future."

Goku is stuned.

"Um,Vegeta,how the hell did you learn so much about the Gundams?"

Vegeta looks non-pulsed.

"Well I was reading a technical magazine my wife had left lying around and I thought that I could buy one of these instead of a car."

"The DMV is gonna want your head if you try to buy one of those,I mean,where would you put the license plate?.................."

Kiyone is heard just of camera,barely audible

"Shut up and go to the fight,the networks gonna kill you two!"

Goku looks Embarassed,rubs the back of his head.

"And now heres the fight!"

The camera goes to the center of the now Cleared part of the arena.Mills lane is standing in the center between the two Gigantic titans of destruction.Mills motions both pilots to the center of the ring.

"Ok I want a good clean fight,and neither of you is allowed to leave the Arena in those things or you lose,got it?"

Both pilots nod.

"Ok,To your machines,Lets get it on!"

His bit finished,Mills runs like hell out of the battle area.

Both pilots climb in and start their machines.Traeize and Zechs make their mechs bow to each other then the fight begins.Traieze draws the Particle cannon and starts firing at Zechs.His opponent is to fast,zooming all over the Arena,avoiding Traiezes shots.Zechs turns his Gundam towards Traieze and hurtles downward,sword drawn.His opponent powers up the shoulder cannons and aims for Zechs,hitting him numerous times.Unconcerned,Zechs Fires the Epions engines full burn,hitting his oponent with his Gundams shoulder and driving both Gundams into the Arena floor.Traieze punches outward with His particle Cannon,Throwing Zechs to the other side of the arena,but breaking the cannon in the process.Both Gundams stand up and Draw their swords.They duel,Star wars light saber style,back and forth across the arena floor.Traieze Stops the sword fighting by kicking the Epion in the stomach,which knocks it across the arena again.As Traieze charges across the Arena at full speed,ready to skewer Epion where it lays,The Zero system in Epion kicks in.Time slows down for him.Zechs sees the future.He sees all the fansites dedicated to him, put up by his strange female fans vanishing,replaced by lots of Traieze fansites.The Tall geese draws near,raising its sword as it runs.Zechs leaves hs dream-state.At the last possible moment,he dodges the Gundam to the side,Traiezes Attack hitting another unlucky group of ringside season ticket holders.

Zechs brings the Epion behind where Traieze is standing.The Tall geese turns and faces Zechs.The Epion brings its sword high above its head and looks more powerful then usual.Zechs shouts.

"YOU'RE THE LAST THING WE NEED IN CYBERSPACE RIGHT NOW!!!!"

And brings the blade Flashing downwards.Traieze moves to block with his own sword,but the Epions sword is too powerful now,shattering the energy of the Tall geese sword,and cutting downward through the Gundam itself.The Tall geese explodes,and Zechs powers down the Epion.He gets out and Mills lane comes out and raises his arm.

"Zechs marquis is the winner!"

The screen goes back to Goku and Vegeta in the announcers booth.Goku smiles like an idiot.

"The main event wil be coming your way as soon as the ring is brought back into the Arena."

10 minutes later the ring is set up.

"Now lets go to the ring for tonights main event!"

The camera changes to a view of the ring. In the center is Mills lane. He motions the little girls to the center of the ring.

"Ok I want a good clean fight,Now lets get it on!"

The two little girls strike fighting poses and start slap fighting.Vegeta is disgusted.

"This is really pathetic,they don't know the first thing about fighting. Arent they supposed to be learning this in school?"

Kiyone looks nervous,and whispers something in Vegteas ear.Vegeta looks indignant.

"Theyre not? What is school for on this planet anyway?"

The slap fighting continues,but it doesnt really accomplish anything. Rini pulls back and gets out the Luna ball.She morphs it into a sword and starts chasing Sasami around the ring.Rini corners Sasami in the corner,and thrusts with the sword like a fencer.Sasami dodges,and the sword sticks in the turnbuckle.While Rini is trying to pull the sword out,Sasami pulls out her frying pan.Sasami shouts

"Eat this!"

And wallops Rini on the head with it.Rini is dazed and gets up,noticing her patented hair-do is mussed.

"Grrr,that does it!"

Rini hops around with swirly colors for a while as she transforms into sailor mini-moon.When shes done she strikes the same pose as always and says

"In the name of the moon,im going to blow you to pieces!"

Rini starts powering up her Little scepter thingy,and aims it at Sasami.

"Now you die!"

Of course the weapon doesnt work right,just like in the show and Sasami isnt hurt.She laughs

"My turn!"

She does her little transformation and becomes Pretty Sammy.She gets out her little sceptery\bow type thing and shoots it hiting Rini in the arm with it.Rini totaly freaks.

"That Does it! That rip-off of my moves is too much! Grrr-errrr-arrrggghhhh!!!!"

Rini starts glowing,morphing into something.Goku realizes what shes turning into.

"Aggggggh,shes turning into Black Lady,We're all gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!"

Rini\Black lady stands up,and admires her new form for a minute.Then she holds her hands over her head.

"Now im gonna kill all of you! Come forth Doom phantom!!"

The ground shakes and the sky turns red.Black lady flies into the sky and floats there. Sasami Morphs into Tsunami and stands up.The audience cowers in their seats. Tsunami raises her hands over her head and looks up.Black lady,confused by Tsunamis actions looks up also.Tsunamis spaceship,the Light Hawk,Smashes trough the Arena roof and hits Black lady Full on.The spaceship keeps hurtling downward and hits in the center of the arena,As Tsunami jumps out of the way.Black Lady is crushed under the weight of the ship,as is a good deal of the Arena.Tsunami morphs back into Sasami.Mills pushes aside the debris which was covering him,stands up and raises Sasamis arm.

"Sasami is the winner!"

Goku and Vegeta are hiding behind the desk,with Kiyone huddled in the corner.The camera man talks.

"Hey youse guys,ya can come out now"

Goku and Vegeta get back in their chairs and Kiyone stands up.Goku,still sweating profusely speaks first.

"Wow,that was some Main event,huh? I don't know about you,but I was on the edge of my seat........ummmm"

Vegeta looks really zonked out.

"I think I soiled myse........"

Goku cuts him off.

"Well that all the time we have for today.For Vegeta im Goku-Son saying,Good fight,Good night!"



The deathmatch theme plays



"Hi,this is Son-Goku,and we have a great show for you next time! The first bout is between Dr.Tofu and Dr.Briefs.The second fight is between Priss and Nagi for the title of "Baddest ass Female in anime". The main event is Ronin warriors VS The Ginyu force,for the title of "Most annoying team in Anime"."