Kristo Kommie Productions presents



Celebrity Deathmatch Anime Style! : Afterlife edition, Episode 2



(Everyone has halos, since everybodys dead)



The camera pans down to the announcing booth where we see Goku and Vegeta sitting. Vegeta picks up his microphone and starts to talk.

"Hello fight fans, and boy do we have some fights for you today!"

Goku cuts in.

"Our first fight is between Emperor Dornkirk and Lord Tulpa for the title of most useless villain of all time!"

Vegeta speaks again.

"Our second fight is between Mamorou and Yajirobee for the title of most good guy character in their respective shows"

Goku speaks again.

"And our final bout is one that has been long awaited since the beginning of this season! It's the match you've all been waiting for, EVERYONE VS Captain Ginyu!"

Vegeta rubs his hands together.

"Putting revenge on the back burner for a moment, lets go to the ring for our first fight!"

In the center of the ring is Mills Lane with the oversized human-like form of Lord Tulpa standing opposite the massive life support wheel chair thing that Dornkirk is sitting in. Mills motions the two huge combatants to the center. Mills speaks.

"Ok gentlemen, you both know the rules. I want a tough clean fight. Now lets get it on!"

Lord Tulpa pulls out some swords and fires a rather lamely animated attack at Dornkirk. Dornkirk is not phased.

"I will win this fight, I saw so on my destiny prognostication machine!"

Tulpa is unimpressed.

"Im supposed to believe you, foolish old man? Where is this machine?"

Dornkirk attempts to smile with his few atrophied muscles.

"Allow me to show it to you...."

The whole giant globe and telescope, which has been rather conspicuously hanging from the arena roof is released, causing its entire mass to fall on Tulpa killing him. Dornkirk jumps out of his life support mountain\cart and hobbles over to Mills. Mills raises his hand in the air.

"Emperor Dornkirk is the winner!"

Emperor Dornkirk dances a jig to celebrate, but the strain is too great and he falls onto the floor with a heart attack. His countless minions grab him and storm out of the arena to bring him back to life again. Goku speaks.

"Wow, what a fight!"

Vegeta stretches as he speaks.

"Yep that one was so exciting I almost stayed awake"

Goku smacks him in the head.

"You can't say crap like that on the air!"

Vegeta frowns.

"Nobodies watching anyway, our show has a rating of 0.3"

Goku shrugs.

"Well, as if anyone cares, heres the second fight, which was substituted for an interesting fight that will take place in a later episode as the main event. We go now to the ring, la la la la, the regular bull I always say"

In the center of the ring, stand Yajirobee and Mamorou. Mills stands in between the two combatants and gives them the rules, then speaks for the crowd.

"Ok, lets get it on!"

Mamorou immediately turns himself into Tuxedo mask and wields a flower. Yajirobee simply howls and holds his stomach.

"Aggh, I haven't eaten in three days, but it will be worth it!"

Mamorou notices too late the hungry look in the fat freak's eyes.

"No, I taste bad, don't, DON'T!"

Yajirobee chases Mamouru around the ring until he catches him and bites off his left arm. Mamoru howls in pain as the insane Yajirobee shakes the arm like a dog with a bone. Mamorou sells his hat to a crazed fan girl at ring side and uses the money to buy 100 hot dogs and 70 cokes from the vendors nearby. Eventually Yajirobee finishes eating Mamorous former arm and charges forward. Mamorou throws the pile of hot dogs and soda at the feet of Yajirobee. Yajirobee sits down and starts eating. He continues eating for two hours, unconcerned by the numerous horrible injuries inflicted on him Mamorou. Finally, a practically dead Yajirobee stands up finally finished eating. With no strength or mind left, he swings his Katana and cuts of Mamorous head. He then promptly falls over dead himself. Mills speaks.

"Yajirobee lost second!"

Goku puts his head in his hands.

"That fight sucked....I mean it just sucked!"

Vegeta shouts aloud in happiness.

"But now we have the fight you've all been waiting for! We go now to the great white void, which was the only venue large enough to hold all the combatants."

The camera switches to an unimaginable expanse of white, covered with EVERY anime character EVER. In the center is a small circle of uninhabited void, in the center of which is a very distraught looking Captain Ginyu. He begs for mercy.

"Im very sorry that everybodys dead and everything, but how can you justify destroying such a style sense as mine?"

The vast and uncontrollable mob wavers and screams angrily. A massive golden bell is rung and Mills, standing on top of it announces through a giant bullhorn.

"Lets get it on!"

At that the mass of dead sweeps forward. Captain Ginyu flies upwards, closely pursued by all flying characters. He shouts above the din.

"Now more then ever, I need your help, come forth almighty author of fanfictions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A shout of ire goes up from the world and boy is it scary. Flying above Ginyu in wait, the air ship of Alan Shalizar drops Escaflowne out of its bay. The Mecha plummets downwards in its humanoid form faster and faster, head straight down with sword point before it. Van shouts at Captain Ginyu as he is about to hit him.

"It ends now your coward. IT ENDS NOW!"

The sword point hits Captain Ginyu in the center of his forehead. Time stands still as the skull cracks and explodes, followed by the rest of the body. Captain Ginyu is no more.

Too late.

The Grand Referee from the first episode of the new season disappears in a flash and his invisibleness is replaced by the body of an irritating 16 year old boy. Everyone stops and stares in horror. The Author\ God of the afterlife, appears and tips his bowler cap.

"Good evening chaps. What a frightful fool that Ginyu is, always causing trouble and disturbing reality. Oh well, not much for it eh, hes already dead anyway"

Goku and Vegeta stare speechless with fear at their maker. Kiyone, the Deathmatch interviewer, walks over to the Author. She speaks.

"Would you mind greatly telling us why we're all here and what our purpose is?"

The Author nods.

"No not at all. You're all here because my attempts to find an attractive girl to take up my time with vigorous physical activity has been unsuccessful thus far. Your purpose is to provide the deaths of anime characters I dislike, or provide a spectacularly overblown battle. But Im wandering from the point of my visit."

The world quakes in fear.

"On a snap decision I will return everyone to life. You will provide better shows, consisting of more brutality, more alcohol, more nudity and more innuendo. These standards are to be met on pain of ....BAD THINGS... That is all"

Everyone is suddenly back alive again, in the old stadium in the living world. Goku and Vegeta are sitting stunned back at their old seats. Goku picks up the microphone and speaks.

"Well ladies and gentleman, we're all back, we're all alive, and next week where out to change that for some unfortunate losers. For Prince Vegeta, Im Jay Leno saying Good night everybod..."

The Network security goons, who are contracted outside the normal movement of space time, storm in and start brutally beating the two announcers with baseball bats.



End Transmission



Hey this is Goku....REVIEW AND WATCH NEXT WEEK....NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.. Ow my throat..You get the idea...