"Quod Me Nutruit, Me Destruit – Chapter 5"
By the Crystalline Temptress
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the brilliant writer J.K. Rowling does. So don't sue me.
A/N: Ah, the confrontation. The idea for this chapter sifted around a bit, that's why it took me a bit longer to write. Anyway, I fixed a loophole concerning the later chapters using this installment, so I'm very happy. :) I decided to give Draco an earlier entrance, so that his presence is expected in the later parts. . . . I won't reveal too much just yet. :)
And yes, I know that this chapter is a bit late for the occasion, but what can I say? I was planning to put it out before Christmas, but I was preoccupied with the all the holiday preparations.
The comments are very helpful. To everyone who commented, my thanks. And to my beta readers, thank you as well.
Sorry if I caused any confusion by redoing the title. Someone pointed out that it had wrong grammar, and for that I am grateful. :)
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December 24 dawned misty and glimmering. The sunlight streamed into the Great Hall in beams of sparkling brightness, the hypnotic play of light dancing upon the walls of the castle. It seemed like the perfect Christmas . . . Or it would have been, if only Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn't have so much to worry about.
But even as their minds were preoccupied with the task at hand, they didn't fail to notice the beauty of the surroundings. Evergreen garlands hung from the ceiling, decorated with tinsel; strung on golden cords were glittering crystal icicles that didn't melt; hung on nearly every branch were unbreakable glass balls of every color. A large Christmas tree stood at every corner of the hall, each one embellished with a different house theme.
The three chose their places at their house table by the Gryffindor tree, which was bedecked with felt ribbons of scarlet and golden candles. Harry and Ron chatted away about their plans for that afternoon while Hermione remained quiet and thoughtful as she picked through her breakfast of ham, tomatoes and toast. She only spoke when the owls flew into the Great Hall.
"Here comes the mail," she interrupted their conversation as the owls swooped over their heads.
"I don't think I'd like to go flying in this weather; I'd freeze on my broom—" Harry was saying when a piece of parchment fluttered down onto his plate. Hedwig took a moment to greet him and to dip her beak in his goblet of pumpkin juice before flying off.
"Go on, open it!" Ron urged, his mouth stuffed with bread, eyes wide as saucers.
Harry did as he was told to. He unfolded the note shakily and passed it to Ron and Hermione. Their unspoken suspicions were confirmed—it was indeed from Sirius.
" 'I received your letter just a few days ago,'" it said on the parchment. " 'I think that Hedwig had a hard time finding me, since she usually doesn't take that long to deliver. Yes, I know what the news says about me; I try to get used issues of the Daily Prophet as often as possible. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you not to worry about it. I've already gone into hiding before; this can't be any worse.
" 'I won't say any more. I might divulge too much information that might put you in danger if Hedwig were to fall into the wrong hands. I just wanted to tell you that I'm alright. There's no need to worry. If anything worth mentioning happens over there, just write me a note. Your owl knows where to find me.'" It was unsigned.
Harry sighed in relief. "At least we know that he's safe."
Ron nodded. "But he didn't tell us what to do, though," he put in.
"I don't suppose that he would; I mean, it's too dangerous to reveal too much," Harry said as he tucked the letter into his pocket. "And technically, we do know what to do. We're getting the things we need soon enough."
"I'm getting the ingredients," Hermione muttered, her voice low but firm. "You've already been in too much trouble before. If you're caught, there's a great chance that both of you will be expelled."
"And it's so easy for you to pretend." Ron raised his voice an octave higher. " 'I just needed to experiment on something, Professor—'"
"Oh, stop it," Hermione interrupted with a snort of laughter.
"It's true!" Ron protested indignantly.
They were just about to continue with their breakfast when an interruption came in the form of none other than Draco Malfoy.
"How touching. Potter gets a letter from his family during Christmas," a voice drawled from the fore.
The three looked up to see Draco sneering at them, his bodyguards at each side.
Harry, Ron and Hermione exchanged looks. They could almost read each other's thoughts: how much of their conversation had he heard?
"I didn't know that you still got letters from home, Potter," Draco leered. "I thought you were unwanted. But I guess that's better than receiving nothing; isn't that right, Weasley? I see that you didn't even get anything." He smiled self-assuredly at them. Behind him, Crabbe and Goyle tried to imitate his smirk, but ended up looking like their cheeks were twitching.
"Fancy picking a fight, don't you?" Ron was about to stand; his hand was already on his wand, but Hermione held him down, her lips flattened into a thin line.
The conversation was rapidly growing old. "Maybe you could think of a better insult, Malfoy," Harry retorted, folding his arms across his chest. "After all, you've been saying the same bit for five years now."
A bit of red spread across the pale boy's cheeks. "And maybe you could learn to change the truth," he spat, and stalked off with Crabbe and Goyle at his heels.
"What is wrong with him?" Ron said scathingly, rolling his eyes in agitation.
"Do you think he heard us talking about . . . ?" Hermione trailed off as she glanced at his retreating form sharply.
"I didn't notice him." Ron now began to look worried. "Did you?" He turned to Harry.
Harry shook his head, looking every bit as apprehensive as Ron.
"Practicing the art of stealth, that one," Hermione said, returning to her food. "There's no use worrying about it now. If he did hear us, he wouldn't know what we were talking about. We didn't mention Snuffles' name once."
"But we did talk about going to Snape stores," Harry whispered as he looked around cautiously.
"That's true," she admitted. "But we didn't say specifically when. And we were very ambiguous about it. Maybe Malfoy'll think we're going to break into Snape's cupboard some other time, if ever he thinks we're going to do that at all."
"Look, as a precaution, bring the Invisibility Cloak," Harry said. "And hopefully everything'll be fine."
"If only it were as easy to convince myself," Ron said dryly, eliciting laughs from his companions.
They had spent the rest of the day devising their plan. It was decided that the three of them would go to the Great Hall and start their dinner, and during the middle of the meal, Hermione would go and get the things needed. Ron and Harry were to look out for both Snape and Malfoy. If the one of the two left, Ron was going to go and warn Hermione, while Harry was going to watch the other. The plan sounded like it had quite a number of loopholes, but they had no choice, because their chances would be considerably less when their vacation ended.
When evening arrived, the three of them had identical looks of anxiety.
"We might as well get this over with," Hermione said determinedly, although her face was drawn and pale. She patted the front of her robes to indicate the Invisibility Cloak hidden there.
They made their way to the Great Hall, where only one house table was left. The other three were whisked away, since only a few students stayed behind for the Yuletide season that year.
Headmaster Dumbledore sat at the head of the table, while the rest of the teachers were seated around him. The students all occupied the other end, obviously intimidated by the presence of the other professors.
"Ah, come one, come all!" Dumbledore beckoned them forward, his eyes glittering behind the familiar crescent spectacles. "A most pleasant way to spend the Christmas, this feast," he said cheerfully, passing a cracker to Hagrid.
"Doin' good, Harry?" Hagrid boomed. He obviously had had a bit too much to drink. "An' yeh two, Ron an' Hermione! Spendin' a lot'f time together, I'd wager?" He winked at them, and both turned very becoming shades of red.
"We're not—" Ron stammered, but Hagrid interrupted him with a pat on the back more like a whack.
"Do sit down," Dumbledore suggested as he pointed to the empty seats a few feet away from Hagrid. The three of them obliged, trying to ignore their guilt as they took their places. To add to their nervousness, Snape was just a few spaces away from Hagrid on the other side. He fixed all of them with a very sour expression as they sat.
Just then, Malfoy strutted in, the rest of the Slytherin crowd positively simpering after him. He sat beside his head of the house, a most obnoxious smile plastered on his face. It was evidently directed at Harry, who ignored him and continued to pile his plate with roast chicken and baked potatoes.
"Do you think Malfoy knows?" Ron muttered under his breath while he viciously speared a few asparagus heads with his fork.
"More importantly, do you think he's told Snape?" Harry whispered in return.
Hermione remained silent, poking at her food listlessly.
The three of them ate quietly, letting the merry chatter of Christmas wash over them as a soothing balm to calm their nerves. Finally, as Hermione was halfway through her tiny dinner, she exchanged glances with Harry, who gave her an imperceptible nod.
"Excuse me," she said, rising from the table. She stepped out of her place on the bench and strode off towards the doors, trying not to look too suspicious.
Harry and Ron looked at one another. They continued their meals, relaxing slightly as no remarks came their way regarding where Hermione was.
But their calm was short-lived as Draco leaned in to whisper something to Professor Snape. Snape's eyes narrowed at what his student had told him.
"If you'll excuse me," he said irritably as he stood from the table and walked off, his robes billowing behind him ominously. Draco followed him, head held high, saunter aggravatingly overconfident.
"Hermione!" Harry hissed as he got up from the table so suddenly he startled the Hufflepuff across him. Ron followed suit, and they ran to the entrance.
They skidded to a stop as they saw Snape and Draco talking by the hallway. The two Slytherins stopped at the sight of the Gryffindors.
"Well, if it isn't Potter and his sidekick Weasley." Snape's voice was low and smooth. "Leaving so soon?"
Behind him, Draco was smiling so broadly that his eyes were reduced to slits.
"No sooner than Malfoy left," Ron answered bravely, only to have Snape round on him.
"Five points for talking to a teacher without being asked to," he said softly. "Now. I suggest both of you return to your food, before you are accused of anything that would merit to a deduction of more house points." Without another word, he spun on his heel and walked away, Draco flitting after him like a lady-in-waiting.
"That Malfoy told!" Ron seethed as an ugly blush spread up to his ears. "Hermione—"
"Don't panic. Let's take the way round the Transfigurations classroom; maybe we can beat Snape to it." Harry gestured for Ron to follow, and the two of them sprinted in the other direction, hoping that they would reach Hermione in time.
Hermione prowled around the darkness, feeling foolish for hiding underneath the Invisibility Cloak when no one was watching.
Better safe than sorry, she reminded herself.
She held the list of ingredients in one hand and her wand alight in the other as she squinted at the numerous jars stacked on the shelves. They were all unlabeled, which made the search worse. Of course, she'd seen illustrations of the things she needed, but it was a little difficult, the closet being in the dark. Even the light of her wand was unhelpful, as the herbs all looked the same in the gloom.
"Jimsonweed. Sage." Hermione located a few of the potion components she needed. Taking a few pouches from her robes, she placed the herbs into separate containers and placed them back into the folds of her sleeve.
Now . . . where is that blasted asphodel? she thought as she scowled in frustration. The smell of the plants was beginning to make her a little drowsy, and her nose was starting to itch.
Probably Snape's favorite potion ingredient, she snorted mentally as she rummaged the stock.
Finally finding the other items that she needed, in just under a quarter of an hour, she proceeded to the doors, her stomach settling after the many hours of uneasiness. Elation took its place in the pit of her belly. She was going to do the Aevum. The knowledge in itself made her quite cheerful, as she believed that there was nothing as fulfilling as trying something new and having it work to her advantage.
She pushed the doors open—
—And headed right into Professor Snape.
"Professor Snape," a voice hissed irritatingly into his ear as he tried to eat his dinner.
"What is it?" he asked rather tersely, almost wanting to pour an On-Contact Invisibility Potion on Draco Malfoy, who had been pestering him all evening.
"I have some interesting information," Draco said with a nearly tangible intake of anticipant breath.
A pause. Obviously waiting for some recognition.
"Well? Snape asked with a jerk of his head.
"Hermione Granger is planning to break into your private stores tonight, sir," the boy said dramatically. Snape could just about hear the excitement in Draco's trembling voice.
What? He narrowed his eyes. "What made you say that?" he asked, instead of the severe rebuking he had intended. He snorted internally. Such malarkey should not be tolerated, as far as he was concerned; he knew that Draco had always detested Hermione, but could the youth be any more apparent in his dislike? What a disgrace to the Slytherin house; blatant crab mentality was the complete opposite of what Salazar Slytherin had had in mind—a discreet, removal of power by means of cunning and stratagem.
Not that I live by Salazar Slytherin's ideals of my own volition, Snape thought as he frowned contemptuously. Being within the House of the Serpent will force you to follow its rules, lest you be swallowed up in the macabre grandeur of it all.
"Sir," Draco prodded, interrupting the silence that Snape had allotted for his time to think. Tiny hint of a whine there. "I overheard her talking to Potter and Weasley about getting ingredients, and she said that she was going to get them because if any of her two friends got it, they might get expelled if they were caught.
"So Professor, what are you going to do about it?" he asked, more persistently now.
He sighed internally. His mind was already shifting from one scenario to another. If he did as Malfoy Junior's bidding, then Draco would surely think that he was at the mercy of the Malfoy family.
No more than I already am, he thought dourly.
On the other hand, if he didn't even check, or do anything of the sort, Draco was sure to report the incident to his father, who would be sure to cause a scandal. He could be accused of being secretly in favor of the Gryffindors; the Death Eaters might ridicule him. . . . Or, worse yet, his cover could be discovered. He rubbed his temples intolerantly. It seemed as if his headache had returned.
His eyes roamed to where Harry and Ron were sitting. Indeed, Hermione was missing from their circle. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to make sure.
"I'll go and see," Snape finally decided to say. He stood up, excused himself and headed towards the exit of the Great Hall.
"Let me come with you, sir!" Draco said enthusiastically, the manic glint in his eyes brightening with the prospects of Gryffindor prey.
"No, you stay here," he said, but his words were unheeded.
At the corner of his eye, he could see Harry and Ron stare at him. Both of them rose from their seats and followed.
He stood by the side of the large oaken doors. Draco darted back and forth behind him like an annoying, squirmy shadow.
Sure enough, Harry and Ron came bursting forth. They immediately skidded to a stop when they saw Snape a few feet away from them, his hands folded across his chest.
"Well, if it isn't Potter and his faithful sidekick Weasley," he scoffed. "Leaving so soon?"
"No sooner than Malfoy left," Ron spat. Very stupid of him. Snape deducted a few points and sent them back into the Great Hall, although he doubted that the two would actually do as he had said.
With a sigh and a bitten-off curse, he headed towards his dungeons, fighting the urge to poison Draco for being such a bother.
Despite the fact that she was invisible, it was obvious that she had walked into him. He had taken a step back in surprise, and she had done nearly the same thing, except she had jumped. Behind Professor Snape, Draco peered curiously into the darkness of the room.
Damn it, she thought, feeling her stomach plunge sharply. A million thoughts ran through her head. A part of mind was crammed with haphazard ideas on saving herself, while the other part was insisting that she tell the truth and perhaps he'll spare her, and another was preoccupied with how she was going to break the news to Harry and Ron. How were they going to help Sirius now?
And a tiny, paranoid part of her brain screamed, "I'm going to be expelled!"
Snape's wand was pointed at her forehead. He opened his mouth to recite a spell. Hermione raised her own, already expecting the Stunning Spell or something of the like. Mentally she rehearsed the spell she was going to use to counter the Stupefy. . . .
"Accio, Invisibility Cloak!" he said instead, and she felt the fluid material of the cloak lift over her head. She watched, horrified, as it soared into his outstretched arms.
He stared at her in a mixture of disbelief, anger and disdain. She felt her heart sink with her belly as her mouth went dry.
The pause seemed to stretch on forever.
"Miss Granger." Snape had finally spoken. His voice was low, barely a whisper, yet it seemed to reverberate in the huge dungeon.
She fought the urge to cringe and cower. Remember Gryffindor bravery! she thought sharply.
The words strengthened her resolve. She met his eyes steadily, although she was sure that she could feel and he could see her knees shaking.
"What, pray tell, possessed you to do something like this?" he hissed. Suddenly, he was livid. He stalked towards her; she took a step back. He walked in her direction until they were only about a foot away from one another. He towered over her menacingly.
Her courage faltered a bit. "We—I—" Hermione stammered.
Just then, Harry and Ron stumbled into the room, nearly knocking Draco away from the door.
"Hermione—we tried to come as soon as possible—" Harry rasped as he tried to regain his breath.
"Malfoy told—" Ron wheezed in unison with Harry.
Hermione stared at them both with a mixture of helplessness and defiance. She didn't know whether to be grateful for their entrance or to be embarrassed and frightened in the same count.
"All three of you," Snape said, pointing at Draco, Ron and Harry. "Out."
"But—" Draco protested.
"We can't—" Harry exclaimed.
"Hermione—" Ron thundered hotly with the two other boys.
"All of you, five points from your respective houses," Snape snapped. "Out!"
They all shut their mouths and stood there for a moment before ambling out reluctantly. Harry and Ron shot Hermione sympathetic looks, while Malfoy gave her a pointed glare.
The sound of the door closing was nearly deafening.
"Now," Professor Snape began, the timbre of his words ominous. "Why were you here, what was your purpose and who else is involved? The truth, or I shall be forced to use the Veritaserum."
Hermione just gaped at him. No insults, point deductions, detention or anything?
A few moments of silence. "I believe I asked you a question." Snape's tone was sarcastic and slightly impatient.
Hermione swallowed edgily. "I was here because we . . . I . . . wanted to make the . . . Aevum," she said bracingly.
"And? . . ." Snape prompted after another moment's quiet.
"We were going to make a potion to get into . . . a place . . . so that we could help someone," she finished lamely.
Snape leaned forward so that his face was almost touching hers. Hermione watched him with bated breath.
"You will tell me who, specifically, or I will force it out of you." Quiet threat.
She remained silent.
Snape sighed shortly. "Why do I ask?" he questioned, more of himself than her. "You are helping Potter in making a potion to help someone. . . . Sirius Black, perhaps?"
He ignored her astonished look. "It's apparent, Miss Granger. You and Weasley have had your share of brush-ins with all sorts of evils . . . all for famous Harry Potter," he sneered. "And now, you're doing something incredibly risky, just to help him. Everyone will do anything to earn Potter's favor. Since he has decreed that Black is in dire need of help . . ." He trailed off, challenging her to finish his statement.
"I don't go around trying to get Harry's approval!" Hermione interrupted fiercely.
"Oh really?" His tone suddenly shifted from intimidating to silken. The sign of a reprimand. She didn't heed the warning.
"Harry is my friend, and I hardly think that I have to go around making an idiot of myself just so that I could retain that friendship," she said. The torrent she had been holding back since Rita Skeeter's articles in fourth year came pouring out.
"I don't do Harry favors just because I want him to like me; I do so because he is my friend, and I know that he's a good person," she snapped, an angry flush spreading over her cheeks the bridge of her nose. "I don't simper over him; I don't fawn over him; I don't keep his company just because he's 'popular'!" she nearly hollered as her eyes flashed.
"Everyone thinks that I use him because of his popularity. Or that he uses me for my ability to get him out of trouble," she said ardently. "But that's not the case. And I would help anyone I consider a friend, no matter who it was!"
Snape inhaled sharply; Hermione immediately felt that she might have gone too far as to yell at him. But she would not apologize.
"You've made your point," he said after another tense pause. "But you still haven't explained why you need the Aevum to save Black. You'd better explain to me. Unless, if you'd rather, I could make you explain to your head of the house or to the headmaster."
"You . . . aren't going to tell Professor McGonagall if I explain?" Hermione ventured with a cross of uncertainty and skepticism.
He looked at her penetratingly. "It depends on what I hear from you."
"Why?" She couldn't help herself from asking.
"You are not a child, Miss Granger," he said shortly. "I believe that you know the consequences of your actions . . . of course, depending on whether you get caught or not, or on what is told." His eyes gleamed in the dark. " 'Reporting' you might or might not justify the situation, depending on what I tell and to whom I say it."
It took her a moment to realize that her words had been thrown back at her. So . . . he was hinting that he might not tell anyone, or if he were to, he was going to temper it to make it sound as if she was noble in her intentions.
"Thank you," she said sincerely.
Snape eyed her for a while, then acknowledged her thanks with a curt nod. "The reason for the Aevum, please."
Hermione mulled over how she should begin with the story. She cleared her throat. "I suppose that it started with the reports on Sirius Black. Right after we finished with the exams, Harry, Ron, and I read the papers and saw the first article on him. That was on the day scheduled for the Hogsmeade trip.
"When we were there in the village, we overheard two men talking about Sirius' dossier being found in Moonshine Tavern."
Snape froze at the mention of the tavern, but Hermione didn't notice.
"We decided to go look for it, and we think that we've found it, except that we can't really enter because we're underage."
Snape was beginning to understand her train of thought. It had actually been quite difficult to grasp, since his mind was muddled with the dwindled headache that had been bothering him since the start of the winter break. But as far as he could tell, it was a brilliant plan for a fifteen-year-old.
"I researched on aging potions and discovered the Aevum," Hermione concluded.
"And why do you need a powdered bezoar?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"I was going to make the potion temporary. By incorporating the bezoar and using a Crystallizing Charm, I think that perhaps I could make a fragment that I could place on my skin without making myself age permanently," she replied. "I planned to hang it as a necklace," she explained further.
He gazed at her calculatingly. "That was well thought out, Miss Granger," he said slowly.
Hermione couldn't help but smile faintly under the flattery.
Snape sighed and swept to his desk after he had realized that they had been standing there for quite some time. "I do think that your experiment will be successful. Although I don't exactly approve of your methods . . ." He shook his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You're dismissed."
She nodded quickly and strode towards the door, almost tripping in her eagerness to leave the dungeons.
"And next time," he called after her, "Inform me before you take something from my stores again."
"Yes sir," she answered, rather sheepishly. She took her leave and shut the door behind her, leaving him enshrouded in the darkness.
The blackness pressed against him at all sides. Instead of being welcoming, like it usually was, he found that it actually added to his headache.
She's planning to enter the Moonshine Tavern, he thought disbelievingly. To tell her that that tavern is a place where Death Eaters gather . . . I would incriminate myself. But to let her go. . . .
Just as he was about to rise and retreat to his chambers, the doors swung open again.
"A word with you, Professor Snape," Dumbledore said mildly as he poked his head past the entrance.
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A/N: Draco's being quite irritating, isn't he? :) I have big plans for him. He won't forever be the whiny little brat.
I kind of had difficulty tempering Hermione's personality in this chapter. I wanted to make her brave, but not to the point that she would recklessly answer without a second thought. I wanted to make her courageous, but not invincible.
As for her anger, I also had a bit of a problem trying to shape it so that it doesn't seem too extreme, too cheesy, or whatever else. It just seemed to me that Snape's remarks regarding Harry's "fame" epitomized everything the Slytherins had been saying, and it just pushed Hermione into saying what she believed in and from her own perspective.
And lastly, as for her determination on helping Sirius . . . there's a reason behind that which doesn't have to do with Harry, but I won't say it just yet. :)