Welcome to the second remake of this awful fic. ^^ Don't you just love
reading it again and again? Even if this is the first time you've seen it,
try it anyway. I'm sure it's okay. ^_^ And yes, I know it's not currently
April Fool's Day. But I bet you'd all love to know what goes on during that
time at the Garden... :D Start reading already!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas and crap. Let that apply for the other chapters.
~*~
CHAPTER I --
It was a hot day at the Garden. Squall was unfortunate enough to be crammed in his dorm with his 'friends'--Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, Zell, Seifer, and Irvine. Everyone was bored to hell.
Squall: It's hot...
Rinoa: You already said that.
Quistis: Well, it IS hot!
Rinoa: Oh great, now you're all going against me.
Irvine: Woohoo!! Let's all kill Rinoa!
Squall: *monotone* No. Please don't.
Everyone except Squall and Seifer--who both don't give a damn--are now closing in on Rinoa.
Rinoa: ...Ah, damn.
Irvine: :D *whacks Rinoa with a pillow*
Seifer: *sigh* Do you need help?
Rinoa: No! I can take care of myself! *suddenly gets whacked with a pillow from behind* ... *falls over*
Seifer: O.o *strikes his Gunblade*
Everyone jumps back and stops pelting Rinoa with pillows.
Zell: Damn, it's boring...
Squall: Well, it wouldn't be if I had this set of awesome action figures...
Squall is staring at an ad in 'Cid's Guide to @#$%ing' magazine. Rinoa looks over.
Rinoa: *reading the ad* Now, you can have a @#$%ing collection of some @#$%ing action figures! Buy the whole @#$%ing crew of N*SYNC for only 10,000 gil! Homosexual Lance, Transvestite J.C., Bisexual Justin, Bulimic Joey, and Drag Queen Chris are included in each @#$%ing set!
Everyone: O_o;;
Rinoa: These suck.
Squall: But I love N*SYNC!
Everyone: ... *edge away from Squall*
Rinoa: Anyway... It's April Fool's Day today!
Quistis: Yeah, we should be playing pranks on each other!
Squall: Nah. You all know I'm not the kind of person to be mean or childish to people.
Everyone: ... *stare at Squall*
Squall: What?
Everyone: *continue to stare at Squall*
Squall: ... *gets up and heads for the bathroom*
Rinoa: Well, now that he's gone... We really should play a prank on him!
Quistis: Hell, yeah!!
Selphie: We need some fireworks and itching powder!
Seifer: O.o Why are the women so enthusiastic about this??
Quistis: Cause we hate Squall. *grin*
Zell: Yeah, everyone hates Squall...
Irvine: What are we waiting for? Let's go buy stuff!!
Everyone leaves for the store. Squall walks out of the bathroom.
Squall: Dammit, they've left. Ah well. *takes out a porn mag*
Meanwhile, at the store...
Rinoa: Hmm... We can use this in his clothes... *giggle*
Quistis: *is imagining Squall with itching powder in his underwear* MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Everyone in the store: ... O_o
Quistis: ...Sorry.
Irvine: Hey, who's paying for this stuff?
Selphie: I'm broke. Everyone at the McDonald's I used to work at got sued for using plastic instead of burger buns.
Zell: Ah shit... *runs to the trash can to barf*
Rinoa: I don't have money either... I was also working at that McDonald's and got fired for putting arsenic into the beef for the burgers.
Zell: Dammit!! *barfs again*
Quistis: I still have my job there. They haven't discovered that I was using bird crap instead of mayonnaise yet. *grin*
Zell: Why does this always happen to me?... *barfs again*
Seifer: O_o Anyway, who will pay for everything you're buying?!
Selphie: The men, of course.
Irvine: No way!
Rinoa: Then we can't buy anything.
Quistis: Dammit! I wanted to get revenge on Squall!
Rinoa: Why, what'd he do?
Quistis: Fall in love with you!
Rinoa: AAAARGH!!!! DIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!
Rinoa and Quistis start catfighting.
Seifer: WOO!!! GO QUISTIS!!!!
Irvine: *pouring olive oil onto Rinoa and Quistis* Hey Selphie, why don't you join them? *wink wink*
Selphie: Ah shit. Here comes the manager.
A few minutes later, the party is sitting outside.
Rinoa: It's your fault you got us kicked out!
Quistis: No, it's yours!!!
Selphie: *sigh* Don't get us kicked off the street...
Rinoa: Well, what do we do now?
Seifer: Hey, look...
Seifer points to a lottery card machine that's conveniently placed in the middle of the street.
Irvine: What's so great about it?
Seifer: We'll create a fake lottery card and give it to Squall! We'll have a fake lottery drawing tape to go along with it and once Squall sees the tape and scratches the card, he'll think he won! And then he'll think he can buy those action figures!
Everyone: ...?
Seifer: We'll create a fake lottery card and give it to Squall! We'll have a fake lottery drawing tape to go along with it and once Squall sees the tape and scratches the card, he'll think he won! And then he'll think he can buy those action figures!
Everyone: Oh.
Rinoa: Great idea! Let's go!
Everyone heads off to Rinoa's dorm in the Garden. (Pretend she has a dorm.) A few minutes later, in Rinoa's dorm...
Rinoa: Does this fake card I made look okay?
Rinoa holds up a screwed up little sheet of paper with glue, that silver scratchy stuff, and messy writing all over.
Selphie: Great! Squall will think it's real!
Rinoa: *grin* I'm such a wonderful artist.
Meanwhile, Seifer and Quistis are making the fake lottery drawing tape.
Seifer: Okay, we need you to look disguised...
Quistis sticks a fake mustache onto her face and grins.
Seifer: That's perfect! *starts taping*
Quistis: Welcome to the lottery drawing! Today we're giving away 10,000 gil! Our winning numbers are... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6! If that's the number on your lottery card, then congratulations! Call 123-4567 to claim your prize! Please ignore the fact that I used 5 exclamation marks in this sentence! Er, that makes 6.
Seifer: Cut! *turns off camera*
Quistis: *cheesy grin*
Seifer: You can take off the mustache now.
Quistis: No!
Seifer: O_o *quickly runs away*
A few hours later, in Squall's dorm... Rinoa knocks at the door. Squall opens it and tackles Rinoa.
Squall: Why'd you leave meeeee?!?!
Rinoa: *squished under Squall* Can't...breathe... *faints*
Quistis: O.o Er... There was an emergency. Rinoa's dorm was burning down.
Squall: But you didn't have to leave meee!!! Waaaaah!!!
Irvine: O.o Squall, I have to speak to you in private.
Squall: Okay.
Irvine: In the bathroom.
Squall: O.o Alrighty.
Squall and Irvine head into the bathroom while Zell attempts to wake Rinoa.
Quistis: Okay, now...
Selphie inserts the fake lottery tape into the VCR. Meanwhile, with Squall and Irvine in the bathroom.
Squall: So, what did you wanna tell me?
Irvine: Uh... I forgot? *cheesy smile*
Squall: Kay, whatever.
Squall and Irvine come out.
Rinoa: Squall, we feel bad for leaving you this morning. So, here's a gift.
Squall: Oh, is it the--
Rinoa hands Squall the lottery card.
Squall: Oh... Thanks. ;_;
Rinoa: *evil smile* I think the lottery drawing's on now. *turns on the tv*
Strange things are shown on tv... Seifer and Quistis are making out in the secret area in the Training Center.
Quistis: !!! Whose is this?!?!
Selphie: Ah, dammit. Wrong tape.
Zell: O.o Well, I was always wondering where Quistis and Seifer went off to during the FFVIII credits...
Irvine: Well, now you know thanks to me and Selphie! We had to spend all night following those two. Here, fast forward a little and you'll see some unimaginable things.
Everyone: ...
Selphie: . Irvine!!
Quistis: You and Selphie did this?!?!
Seifer: *eye twitches*
Selphie quickly inserts another tape while Squall isn't watching.
Rinoa: Ah, here's the lottery drawing.
On tv...
Quistis: Welcome to the lottery drawing! Today we're giving away 10,000 gil! Our winning numbers are... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6! If that's the number on your lottery card, then congratulations! Call 123-4567 to claim your prize! Please ignore the fact that I used 5 exclamation marks in this sentence! Er, that makes 6.
Back to the team.
Squall: I WON I WON I WON!!!!!!!! YATTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMIGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I can buy those action figures! ^-^
Squall picks up the phone.
Rinoa: Ah shit... Squall?
Squall dials 123-45667. An automated machine picks up.
Machine: Hello, welcome to Global Crossing!
Squall: ...Global Crossing?! What the hell?!
Rinoa: Sorry, but this was all a joke. Happy April Fool's Day, by the way! ^_^;;
Squall: AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
Rinoa: Dammit... HELP!!!
Squall chases Rinoa around the room as everyone else sneaks out. Squall eventually crashes into a wall.
Rinoa: Wow, what luck. *runs off*
~*~
I'm sorry it's so long. ^^;; Please review, I wanna hear what you think!!
Thanks to my friend Sora for coming up with the N*SYNC things. ^_^
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas and crap. Let that apply for the other chapters.
~*~
CHAPTER I --
It was a hot day at the Garden. Squall was unfortunate enough to be crammed in his dorm with his 'friends'--Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, Zell, Seifer, and Irvine. Everyone was bored to hell.
Squall: It's hot...
Rinoa: You already said that.
Quistis: Well, it IS hot!
Rinoa: Oh great, now you're all going against me.
Irvine: Woohoo!! Let's all kill Rinoa!
Squall: *monotone* No. Please don't.
Everyone except Squall and Seifer--who both don't give a damn--are now closing in on Rinoa.
Rinoa: ...Ah, damn.
Irvine: :D *whacks Rinoa with a pillow*
Seifer: *sigh* Do you need help?
Rinoa: No! I can take care of myself! *suddenly gets whacked with a pillow from behind* ... *falls over*
Seifer: O.o *strikes his Gunblade*
Everyone jumps back and stops pelting Rinoa with pillows.
Zell: Damn, it's boring...
Squall: Well, it wouldn't be if I had this set of awesome action figures...
Squall is staring at an ad in 'Cid's Guide to @#$%ing' magazine. Rinoa looks over.
Rinoa: *reading the ad* Now, you can have a @#$%ing collection of some @#$%ing action figures! Buy the whole @#$%ing crew of N*SYNC for only 10,000 gil! Homosexual Lance, Transvestite J.C., Bisexual Justin, Bulimic Joey, and Drag Queen Chris are included in each @#$%ing set!
Everyone: O_o;;
Rinoa: These suck.
Squall: But I love N*SYNC!
Everyone: ... *edge away from Squall*
Rinoa: Anyway... It's April Fool's Day today!
Quistis: Yeah, we should be playing pranks on each other!
Squall: Nah. You all know I'm not the kind of person to be mean or childish to people.
Everyone: ... *stare at Squall*
Squall: What?
Everyone: *continue to stare at Squall*
Squall: ... *gets up and heads for the bathroom*
Rinoa: Well, now that he's gone... We really should play a prank on him!
Quistis: Hell, yeah!!
Selphie: We need some fireworks and itching powder!
Seifer: O.o Why are the women so enthusiastic about this??
Quistis: Cause we hate Squall. *grin*
Zell: Yeah, everyone hates Squall...
Irvine: What are we waiting for? Let's go buy stuff!!
Everyone leaves for the store. Squall walks out of the bathroom.
Squall: Dammit, they've left. Ah well. *takes out a porn mag*
Meanwhile, at the store...
Rinoa: Hmm... We can use this in his clothes... *giggle*
Quistis: *is imagining Squall with itching powder in his underwear* MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Everyone in the store: ... O_o
Quistis: ...Sorry.
Irvine: Hey, who's paying for this stuff?
Selphie: I'm broke. Everyone at the McDonald's I used to work at got sued for using plastic instead of burger buns.
Zell: Ah shit... *runs to the trash can to barf*
Rinoa: I don't have money either... I was also working at that McDonald's and got fired for putting arsenic into the beef for the burgers.
Zell: Dammit!! *barfs again*
Quistis: I still have my job there. They haven't discovered that I was using bird crap instead of mayonnaise yet. *grin*
Zell: Why does this always happen to me?... *barfs again*
Seifer: O_o Anyway, who will pay for everything you're buying?!
Selphie: The men, of course.
Irvine: No way!
Rinoa: Then we can't buy anything.
Quistis: Dammit! I wanted to get revenge on Squall!
Rinoa: Why, what'd he do?
Quistis: Fall in love with you!
Rinoa: AAAARGH!!!! DIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!
Rinoa and Quistis start catfighting.
Seifer: WOO!!! GO QUISTIS!!!!
Irvine: *pouring olive oil onto Rinoa and Quistis* Hey Selphie, why don't you join them? *wink wink*
Selphie: Ah shit. Here comes the manager.
A few minutes later, the party is sitting outside.
Rinoa: It's your fault you got us kicked out!
Quistis: No, it's yours!!!
Selphie: *sigh* Don't get us kicked off the street...
Rinoa: Well, what do we do now?
Seifer: Hey, look...
Seifer points to a lottery card machine that's conveniently placed in the middle of the street.
Irvine: What's so great about it?
Seifer: We'll create a fake lottery card and give it to Squall! We'll have a fake lottery drawing tape to go along with it and once Squall sees the tape and scratches the card, he'll think he won! And then he'll think he can buy those action figures!
Everyone: ...?
Seifer: We'll create a fake lottery card and give it to Squall! We'll have a fake lottery drawing tape to go along with it and once Squall sees the tape and scratches the card, he'll think he won! And then he'll think he can buy those action figures!
Everyone: Oh.
Rinoa: Great idea! Let's go!
Everyone heads off to Rinoa's dorm in the Garden. (Pretend she has a dorm.) A few minutes later, in Rinoa's dorm...
Rinoa: Does this fake card I made look okay?
Rinoa holds up a screwed up little sheet of paper with glue, that silver scratchy stuff, and messy writing all over.
Selphie: Great! Squall will think it's real!
Rinoa: *grin* I'm such a wonderful artist.
Meanwhile, Seifer and Quistis are making the fake lottery drawing tape.
Seifer: Okay, we need you to look disguised...
Quistis sticks a fake mustache onto her face and grins.
Seifer: That's perfect! *starts taping*
Quistis: Welcome to the lottery drawing! Today we're giving away 10,000 gil! Our winning numbers are... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6! If that's the number on your lottery card, then congratulations! Call 123-4567 to claim your prize! Please ignore the fact that I used 5 exclamation marks in this sentence! Er, that makes 6.
Seifer: Cut! *turns off camera*
Quistis: *cheesy grin*
Seifer: You can take off the mustache now.
Quistis: No!
Seifer: O_o *quickly runs away*
A few hours later, in Squall's dorm... Rinoa knocks at the door. Squall opens it and tackles Rinoa.
Squall: Why'd you leave meeeee?!?!
Rinoa: *squished under Squall* Can't...breathe... *faints*
Quistis: O.o Er... There was an emergency. Rinoa's dorm was burning down.
Squall: But you didn't have to leave meee!!! Waaaaah!!!
Irvine: O.o Squall, I have to speak to you in private.
Squall: Okay.
Irvine: In the bathroom.
Squall: O.o Alrighty.
Squall and Irvine head into the bathroom while Zell attempts to wake Rinoa.
Quistis: Okay, now...
Selphie inserts the fake lottery tape into the VCR. Meanwhile, with Squall and Irvine in the bathroom.
Squall: So, what did you wanna tell me?
Irvine: Uh... I forgot? *cheesy smile*
Squall: Kay, whatever.
Squall and Irvine come out.
Rinoa: Squall, we feel bad for leaving you this morning. So, here's a gift.
Squall: Oh, is it the--
Rinoa hands Squall the lottery card.
Squall: Oh... Thanks. ;_;
Rinoa: *evil smile* I think the lottery drawing's on now. *turns on the tv*
Strange things are shown on tv... Seifer and Quistis are making out in the secret area in the Training Center.
Quistis: !!! Whose is this?!?!
Selphie: Ah, dammit. Wrong tape.
Zell: O.o Well, I was always wondering where Quistis and Seifer went off to during the FFVIII credits...
Irvine: Well, now you know thanks to me and Selphie! We had to spend all night following those two. Here, fast forward a little and you'll see some unimaginable things.
Everyone: ...
Selphie: . Irvine!!
Quistis: You and Selphie did this?!?!
Seifer: *eye twitches*
Selphie quickly inserts another tape while Squall isn't watching.
Rinoa: Ah, here's the lottery drawing.
On tv...
Quistis: Welcome to the lottery drawing! Today we're giving away 10,000 gil! Our winning numbers are... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6! If that's the number on your lottery card, then congratulations! Call 123-4567 to claim your prize! Please ignore the fact that I used 5 exclamation marks in this sentence! Er, that makes 6.
Back to the team.
Squall: I WON I WON I WON!!!!!!!! YATTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMIGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I can buy those action figures! ^-^
Squall picks up the phone.
Rinoa: Ah shit... Squall?
Squall dials 123-45667. An automated machine picks up.
Machine: Hello, welcome to Global Crossing!
Squall: ...Global Crossing?! What the hell?!
Rinoa: Sorry, but this was all a joke. Happy April Fool's Day, by the way! ^_^;;
Squall: AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
Rinoa: Dammit... HELP!!!
Squall chases Rinoa around the room as everyone else sneaks out. Squall eventually crashes into a wall.
Rinoa: Wow, what luck. *runs off*
~*~
I'm sorry it's so long. ^^;; Please review, I wanna hear what you think!!
Thanks to my friend Sora for coming up with the N*SYNC things. ^_^