Oh No! I'm being attacked by a
Mary-Sue!
A/N: This is a parody of course. In no way do I think I am Legolas, or Eltinmirwen Starwatcher Springstep (Thank goodness). This is a short vignette. I am sorry if you do not think this is funny, or you feel outraged/targeted by it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Legolas or any other characters of JRR Tolkien, unfortunately I do own Eltinmirwen Starwatcher Springstep.
Part I: The meeting.
Legolas sat silent in thought, holding his own counsel. Imladris was a peaceful place to be, and he retired here at times for various purposes. After awhile, he got up and stretched his legs. A soft moaning became audible, and Legolas hurried towards the sound. In the midst of a clearing lay a young girl. He knelt by her side. "Be you hurt, young one?"
"Oh Legolas. Truly you were the one I was waiting for."
Legolas frowned. How did this stranger know his name? He looked her up and down. She had brown, slightly tousled medium length hair, and very strange eyes.
"Are you admiring my eyes? I've always been complimented on them." She whispered coyly.
"They are very strange."
"They're blue, with a dash of silver in the middle, and they sparkle in the moonlight."
Legolas thought this absurd. Rather than make his opinion known, he asked again:
"Are you hurt? I heard you moaning from some distance."
"I seem to have broken my leg. Maybe, maybe if I lean on you for support you could take me to Elrond and he can heal me."
Legolas was taken aback.
"Lord Elrond? How do you know of him? Are you a spy?"
"No! No. I just love elves," the girl sighed dramatically, particularly blond ones."
"Are you of the race of the Eldar?"
The girl looked confused.
"Pardon?"
Legolas looked at her sharply.
"The Eldar. The first children of Ilúvatar. The firstborn."
"I'm an elf, if that's what you mean. Do you want to know my name?"
"If you know mine, I may as well know yours."
"Eltinmirwen Starwatcher Springstep."
"That is a most uncommon name. I have not heard it before." There was a hint of doubt in Legolas' voice.
"I think it's unusual, like me. And it describes me well."
"How so?"
"I have a spring in my step. I love watching stars, don't you? They're so pretty. And el means star as well, announced Eltinmirwen proudly, and mir is for jewel."
"What of tin? Sparkle? I have heard of that in a name before, long ago in the Elder Days. Luthien Tinuviel." Legolas whispered to himself sadly.
"Who is she?"
"Was. She was the fairest maiden there was, and ever will be. Middle Earth mourned her greatly. Her likeness has not been seen again, though the Evenstar, Elrond's daughter does bear some resemblance." Legolas' voice was far away, distant in his pensiveness.
Eltinmirwen grew impatient. Things were not going according to plan. Where was the gushing Legolas she had dreamt about, declaring his undying love for her? His voice brought her back to reality.
"We must get your leg seen to."
Eltinmirwen tried to stand up and gasped in pain, clutching at her leg. Her garments were most peculiar, thought Legolas, a dress fit for a ball, with several rips in revealing places. The maiden rested her arm around his shoulder, and leant on him heavily, while self consciously re arranging her clothing.
The odd pair slowly made their way back to Imladris.
Next chap: Elrond and Legolas discover Eltinmirwen is an imposter!
A/N: This is a parody of course. In no way do I think I am Legolas, or Eltinmirwen Starwatcher Springstep (Thank goodness). This is a short vignette. I am sorry if you do not think this is funny, or you feel outraged/targeted by it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Legolas or any other characters of JRR Tolkien, unfortunately I do own Eltinmirwen Starwatcher Springstep.
Part I: The meeting.
Legolas sat silent in thought, holding his own counsel. Imladris was a peaceful place to be, and he retired here at times for various purposes. After awhile, he got up and stretched his legs. A soft moaning became audible, and Legolas hurried towards the sound. In the midst of a clearing lay a young girl. He knelt by her side. "Be you hurt, young one?"
"Oh Legolas. Truly you were the one I was waiting for."
Legolas frowned. How did this stranger know his name? He looked her up and down. She had brown, slightly tousled medium length hair, and very strange eyes.
"Are you admiring my eyes? I've always been complimented on them." She whispered coyly.
"They are very strange."
"They're blue, with a dash of silver in the middle, and they sparkle in the moonlight."
Legolas thought this absurd. Rather than make his opinion known, he asked again:
"Are you hurt? I heard you moaning from some distance."
"I seem to have broken my leg. Maybe, maybe if I lean on you for support you could take me to Elrond and he can heal me."
Legolas was taken aback.
"Lord Elrond? How do you know of him? Are you a spy?"
"No! No. I just love elves," the girl sighed dramatically, particularly blond ones."
"Are you of the race of the Eldar?"
The girl looked confused.
"Pardon?"
Legolas looked at her sharply.
"The Eldar. The first children of Ilúvatar. The firstborn."
"I'm an elf, if that's what you mean. Do you want to know my name?"
"If you know mine, I may as well know yours."
"Eltinmirwen Starwatcher Springstep."
"That is a most uncommon name. I have not heard it before." There was a hint of doubt in Legolas' voice.
"I think it's unusual, like me. And it describes me well."
"How so?"
"I have a spring in my step. I love watching stars, don't you? They're so pretty. And el means star as well, announced Eltinmirwen proudly, and mir is for jewel."
"What of tin? Sparkle? I have heard of that in a name before, long ago in the Elder Days. Luthien Tinuviel." Legolas whispered to himself sadly.
"Who is she?"
"Was. She was the fairest maiden there was, and ever will be. Middle Earth mourned her greatly. Her likeness has not been seen again, though the Evenstar, Elrond's daughter does bear some resemblance." Legolas' voice was far away, distant in his pensiveness.
Eltinmirwen grew impatient. Things were not going according to plan. Where was the gushing Legolas she had dreamt about, declaring his undying love for her? His voice brought her back to reality.
"We must get your leg seen to."
Eltinmirwen tried to stand up and gasped in pain, clutching at her leg. Her garments were most peculiar, thought Legolas, a dress fit for a ball, with several rips in revealing places. The maiden rested her arm around his shoulder, and leant on him heavily, while self consciously re arranging her clothing.
The odd pair slowly made their way back to Imladris.
Next chap: Elrond and Legolas discover Eltinmirwen is an imposter!