Chapter 4: The Hogwarts Express
That full moon had been particularly bad. I was tired and cranky the day that I had to get on the train to go to Hogwarts. And to make it worse, the kids who had been my friends so long ago had owled me a letter that morning. It said, good riddance, werewolf. They had been doing things like that to me every since they'd found out, but this time it was too much. Every shred of hope for a better future that I'd been trying to build up every since I found out I was going to Hogwarts had been destroyed. Sitting in the back of our car as we pulled up to the train station, I wondered why I had even bothered to come this far.
"Mum, Dad, do I have to go to Hogwarts?" I tried one more time. My mother sighed and looked at my father. I could tell she was thinking that I should stay. My father just shook his head.
"Remus, you'll be fine once you get there. Just don't worry. Dumbledore will tell you what to do about your problem. Your mother and I want what's best for you, and this is." Dad gave me a reassuring smile. "We know you'll be all right, Remus. Believe in yourself and no one can make you any less." I forced a smile and nodded.
"Well, you better go catch that train," said my mum, blinking back tears. We unloaded my trunk and my owl and headed for platform 9 ¾.
"Where is it?" I asked, staring at platform nine and platform ten and seeing nothing in between.
"It's right there," my dad told me, motioning to the divider between platforms nine and ten. "You just walk right through it. Don't be afraid when you do, or you won't make it through."
"Oh, Remus," said my mum, hugging me. "We'll miss you so much. Be sure to write often. I'll think about you constantly. I love you."
"Love you too, mum," I said. I really didn't want to go.
"Remus," my dad began. "You will be fine at Hogwarts. Your mother and I had fun there and we know you will too. Now don't waste your time worrying. Just have fun." He hugged me. "I love you son," he said.
"Love you too, dad," I said.
"Now run along," he told me, patting my back. I grabbed the handle of my trunk and dragged it to the divider. Don't be afraid, I thought to myself as I walked. The next thing I knew, I walked right through the divider and found myself standing in front of a large scarlet steam engine with the words Hogwarts Express printed on the side. I was early, so there weren't many others there. I was glad because that way I could find a seat to myself. I reluctantly rolled my trunk onto the train. It was easy to find an empty compartment. I chose the one nearest to the back. I stashed my trunk in the corner and sat down next to it. I really didn't want to go to Hogwarts. I didn't want anyone to know about my secret. I didn't want to live. The whole world would be better off without me, I thought. No one wanted me here. No one cared. My parents only did because they had to, and no one else did. I wish I were dead, I thought suddenly. Everyone would be happier that way. That's it, I'll kill myself. I was so caught up in thinking that I didn't notice two boys walk into the car.
"Excuse me," one of them said. He was tall with messy black hair and bright blue eyes framed with glasses. Next to him was another tall boy with longer black hair and pale grayish eyes that gleamed in the light. "Do you mind if we sit with you?" the first boy asked, smiling.
"No, go ahead," I mumbled, wishing they'd just leave me alone. But they didn't, and it's a good thing.
"I'm James," he said. "James Potter." He stuck out his hand.
"Remus Lupin," I muttered, shaking his hand.
"And I'm Sirius Black," said the other boy. I shook his hand. The two of them sat down across from me. We sat in silence for a few minutes. My thoughts drifted back to what I was planning to do. I was wondering what the easiest way to kill myself would be, when another boy entered the car. Oh, great, I thought. One more person to annoy me.
"Is there room for one more person here?" the short, stocky, blonde hair boy asked.
"Sure," said James. "Come on in." The boy sat down next to me.
"I'm James Potter," James continued. "And this is Sirius Black and Remus Lupin."
"Hullo," the blonde haired boy smiled. "I'm Peter Pettigrew." We sat in silence again. The train began to move and we were off to Hogwarts. A few minutes later, the compartment door opened and the food cart was there. I bought some chocolate frogs and every flavor beans. So did James, Peter and a puzzled looking Sirius. We just finished paying when someone walked by.
"Well, if it isn't Potter! And I know you two from somewhere," the greasy kid I'd met in the book shop pointed to Sirius and I. He looked at Sirius.
"You're that mudblood kid," he said, sneering. He turned to James and I. "Why are you two hanging around a mudblood like him? You're pure bloods. You should stick with your own kind. You know you'll be better wizards than he'll ever be." Sirius looked slightly confused, but angry.
"Knock it off, Snape," James said to the kid. "Who cares if he's pureblood or not. I'll bet he'll be a better wizard than you'll ever be!" Peter had gone and sat down, looking frightened. I backed away. James and Sirius didn't look a bit scared at all, just angry.
"Ha!" said Snape. "You really think that, Potter? I'd be happy to prove you differently right now." He pulled out his wand. Sirius clenched his fists together and got ready to attack Snape.
"No, Sirius!" said James, grabbing his arm and trying to hold him back. "Don't fight him. You don't know what you're getting into." Without thinking, I jumped up and grabbed Sirius's other arm. Snape grumbled something that couldn't be heard clearly and left.
"Thanks, guys," said Sirius. "But I would have liked to fight that kid anyway." James shook his head.
"Don't even bother with him. He doesn't know what he's talking about, by the way. Some of the best witches and wizards come from muggle families." Sirius nodded.
"So, what house do you guys want to be in?" James asked, changing the subject as we ate. Peter looked thoughtful and Sirius looked confused.
"I've heard Slytherin is really good," said Peter.
"I hope I'm in Gryffindor," said James. He looked at me as if expecting an answer. I didn't feel like talking.
"I don't care," I mumbled.
"What?" asked James.
"I don't care what house I'm in," I muttered.
"Why not?" said James. "Everyone does. You have to at least have some idea."
"Gryffindor or Ravenclaw," I mumbled, remembering the names of my parents' houses. I made a face that suggested that I really didn't want to talk. James turned his attention to Sirius.
"What about you?"
"Oh, I don't know," said Sirius. "What are houses anyway?"
"Oh, that's right, you're from a muggle family," said James "You have a lot to learn but you'll love being a wizard. You should want to be in Gryffindor, by the way. It's the best house." Sirius nodded. The three others carried on a conversation for a while. I didn't pay much attention. My mind floated back to my plans to kill myself. The three people seated on this train with me didn't care about me at all. They probably only sat there because there weren't any other seats left. They'd been nice enough, but they didn't know. They didn't know the one thing that I was sure would turn them away for good. I wouldn't tell them, of course. They must have noticed how tired and depressed I looked because it wasn't long until Sirius said something.
"Remus, are you all right, mate?" he asked. "You look sick."
"Fine," I mumbled. "Just tired." I don't think they believed me, even then.
"You look sad," said James. "Is something wrong?"
"Nah," I said. "I guess I'm just a little worried about going to Hogwarts." I added honestly.
"Yeah, me too," said Peter. "I think it will be fun, though."
"Of course it'll be fun," said James. "We'll make it fun. And if anything goes wrong at least we have each other, right?" He grinned at us in a way that would become common over the years. That's the thing I miss most about James. His smile and the way he could always cheer you up. He seemed to know from that very moment that the four of us would be best of friends, something I wouldn't be certain of for over a year. Well anyway, back to the story. After that, I started feeling a little better. I talked more. Sirius, James and Peter were really great. The only problem was, they didn't know. And when they found out, no matter how much they'd been good friends to me before, they'd leave me just like everyone else had. I was sure of it. Still, I hadn't had this much fun in years. It was so nice to talk to other people my age, something I hadn't done in a long time. I was sort of shy, but James and Sirius could easily make up for that. Peter was quiet as well, but friendly nevertheless.
We talked about weird things that had happened to us before we knew we were wizards. I told them about breaking the swings and turning my teacher's hair bright blue. But that was nothing compared to what James had done. He turned a stick into a snake and sent it after his mum once, and his dad had let him fly on a broom before. Sirius told us that he came from a muggle family. His mum had been a witch, but she died when he was born. He also told us that he had a twin sister named Adhara. He explained that his family named people after stars. The things he had done were similar to mine. People at his school and his sister were his main victims. Peter had bounced when he fell once. He claimed it was fun. He'd also turned his cat red once by accident. His parents were wizards, like mine and James'. We talked about what we thought we'd learn at Hogwarts. None of us really knew. James's parents told him they wanted it to be a surprise for him when he got there. I realized that I'd been too busy worrying to actually wonder what we were going to learn. Sirius had no idea because he'd never even heard of Hogwarts until he got his letter, and I guess Peter didn't know anything because he didn't say much.
"We should change into our robes," said James. "I'll bet we'll be there soon." We agreed and rummaged in our trunks. We pulled out our black school robes and pulled them on over top of our clothing.
"Look!" shouted Sirius. "Is that Hogwarts?" They looked out the window and saw the outline of a large castle in the dusk.
"Must be," said James, looking too. I began to get the sickening feeling in my stomach again. What would I do? I was supposed to get instructions from Professor Dumbledore, whoever that was, on what to do when it was full moon. How would I ever get to talk to him without James, Sirius and Peter finding out? And what if I didn't get to talk to him in time? What if he forgot or something? And what exactly would he have me do? What if it didn't work? I was worried. Peter didn't look much better. James and Sirius just looked excited.
"We have almost arrived at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," a voice came from the train. "Upon arriving, please exit the train. Let your luggage aboard, as it will be transported for you. Second through seventh years, please board the carriages to be transported to the castle. First years, please find a boat and wait for further instructions." The train came to a stop. I exited quickly to keep up with James and Sirius, who seemed extremely hyper, from excitement and maybe from a few too many chocolate frogs. Peter followed us, looking rather pale.
"First years, board a boat!" a giant man with straggly black hair and beard shouted. "No more than four in to a boat!" We climbed into one.
"Don't leave yet!" shouted the giant. "Wait for everyone to get on a boat, then I'll lead the way!"
"Should we go now?" James asked, grinning.
"He just said to wait," I pointed out.
"So?" Sirius shrugged.
"I don't like boats," moaned Peter. "They make me sick." He looked green. James and Sirius both grabbed an oar. They began rowing. Peter, wanting them to stop, stood up.
"You better stop rowing while I'm standing," he said. "I'll fall out."
"Yeah, you will," said James, continuing to row. "You'd better sit down."
"Guys, I don't think we should be doing this," I said. "We better stop." Just then, the giant noticed us.
"Wait for me!" he shouted. "You four! Stop rowing now!" The giant startled Peter, and he fell into the water.
"Aaagghhh!" he screamed. "Help me!"
"Oh, come on," said Sirius. "It's not that deep. Get back in here." Peter tried to scramble back into the boat, but it tipped and the rest of us fell in as well.
"You idiot! This is all your fault!" Sirius shouted at Peter as we treaded water.
"Don't yell at him!" I said. "You guys are the ones that started moving before we were supposed to!" We stopped and noticed that James was hysterically laughing. We looked at him, then at each other and began laughing too. It was ridiculous to get so angry about it.
"Now look what you've done!" the giant sounded angry. "Hold on, I'll be over ter get yeh!" He rowed over to us and easily picked us up one by one and placed us back into the boat.
"Well, what have we here?" he asked. "Four trouble makers, huh?" We looked slightly guilty. James nodded.
"Now you may head across," said the giant. "By the way, my name is Hagrid." He told us. We rowed the rest of the way across, Peter being careful not to fall out. Finally, we reached the opposite shore and before us stood the great castle that was Hogwarts. We gathered with the rest of the first years in front of the large wooden door.