A/N: Renee – Thanks for noticing!! J

This chapter was somewhat of an experiment. I was driving someplace by myself and I decided to bring along a tape recorder and dictate the chapter as I drove. It actually worked, although I don't think I'll ever be doing it again. I edit as I write by seeing what I've written. It's much harder to do when you can't see anything. Of course, there are also these huge gaps on the tape where I couldn't think of a word…makes me realize how addicted I am to the thesaurus on my word processor! Anyway, this was a totally irrelevant note, but I thought I'd share! - Lari


Part One – Denial
Chapter One

Luke was facing away from the hangar entrance as he spoke with the other pilots, so he didn't see the small shuttle when it came in. They were talking enthusiastically about the rumors going around that Commander Narra wanted to establish an elite group of pilots who would work together on a permanent basis.

Of course, even if he had seen the shuttle, whose hatch was just now opening, he wouldn't have thought much of it. It was an extremely old and worn down Taylander Shuttle, not quite enough to whet a fighter pilot's appetite. So when he saw the short boy come up to join them out of the corner of his eye, he assumed it was just another one of the pilots from the base.

"But how will he choose who gets in?" Wedge was asking.

"I suppose he'll test people on the sims, base it on battle experience, too…" Luke answered.

"Then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if someone else comes who's an even better pilot? Will he just kick someone off the team?" A few of the other pilots murmured angrily about this possibility.

"No," Luke said, frustrated. The concept seemed so clear to him. "The whole point is that the team will fight better the longer they've flown together. It doesn't matter if there're other new pilots who are better."

One of the other pilots, a tall boy, a year or two older than Luke chimed in. "So new pilots don't get a shot?" He grinned at Luke meaningfully.

Luke rolled his eyes. Nobody seemed to forget that he was a "rookie." He wondered how they would have treated him if he hadn't blown up the Death Star. "They can still fly, just not with that squadron. Well, not at first. I bet Narra'll have alternates. You know, people who train with them, but are only sent on missions when someone isn't available, or if someone…" He trailed off. The casualties from the Death Star battle were still too fresh on everyone's mind.

Wedge looked at Luke, skeptically and opened his mouth to respond. But his gaze drifted past Luke and, suddenly, his eyes went wide.

Luke turned to see the boy who had come up on his right and realized immediately that it wasn't one of the pilots he recognized, in fact, it wasn't a boy. The girl's clothes were baggy enough to conceal her more obviously feminine attributes, but the bone structure of her face gave her away. While she was pretty enough, Luke didn't see quite what had rendered Wedge speechless.

The girl seemed somewhat dazed and didn't even notice Wedge's stare. She was looking around at the faces of all the other pilots, as though trying to find someone in particular.

"Mara?" Wedge said, softly.

The girl's eyes snapped immediately to Wedge.

"Mara, is that you?"

The girl just stared back at him. Luke looked at Wedge in surprise then back at the girl. Mara? Could this be the same Mara that Biggs had spoken of? He didn't think so. He distinctly remembered Biggs going on about "hair the color of suns' set." This girl's hair was decidedly unremarkable and nearly as dark as Wedge's.

"Where's Biggs?" the girl said brusquely, not bothering to answer Wedge's question.

Luke flinched at the sound of his friend's name.

"Mara," Wedge began, then seemed to choke on his words.

"Where is he?" the girl—Mara—demanded again.

"Mara, he's…" Wedge hesitated. "Did you hear about the battle?" he tried again.

"Where's Biggs?" Mara sounded almost annoyed.

"Mara, Biggs…he…" Wedge swallowed hard. "Biggs didn't make it, Mara."

Wedge's words didn't seem to register with Mara at all. Her expression didn't change, she just continued to stare at him, as though expecting him to conjure Biggs up out of thin air.

"Where is he?" she said again.

She seemed emotionless, but Luke noticed that her breathing was becoming somewhat irregular.

"Mara, he's gone," Wedge told her softly.

"No!"

People turned around to watch them at the sound of Mara's shout.

"No. Tell me where he is, Antilles!"

Wedge took a shuffling step back, but didn't answer Mara. What could he say?

"Just tell me where he is!" Mara said again, the desperation clear in her voice. She looked as though she might launch herself at Wedge…force him to tell her something that he couldn't.

Luke saw her eyes water up and her face contort in sorrow…or rage—he couldn't tell which. He only knew that he didn't want to watch it. He couldn't watch someone who looked like that—like they'd lost everything. It reminded him too much of what he had lost.

"Mara." One of the other pilots stupidly reached out a comforting hand and put it on her shoulder.

Almost like a spring uncoiling, Mara lashed out at the pilot's arm.

"Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me. Just tell me where he is." She jabbed her finger out at them, gesturing wildly. "Tell me!" She stepped back when no one answered her, looking almost deflated. "Biggs," she whispered. "I need Biggs."

She turned away from them, looking around frantically, as though they were hiding Biggs in another part of the station.

Suddenly she seemed to spot something and ran full tilt over to where Luke could see Han and Chewie standing together by the Falcon. She put her hand on Han's arm, but when he turned around, Luke could hear a shrill sob escape her. Han stared at her in confusion, as she stumbled two steps back, then ran to catch her as she fell to the ground in a faint.



A/N: Hm. That was terribly over-dramatic, wasn't it? Ah, well. Don't worry, I can't keep up this mood throughout the whole story, it'll get less depressing in the next chapter. Luke and Mara will actually talk, you'll find out what ever happened to "the captain" from the prologue. And, of course, Luke will find out what a belly-board is. Aren't you excited now? J