Chapter 16: Summer at My House

Everyone visited my house that summer. It was fun but we couldn't get what had happened off of our minds. Sirius and Addi just didn't seem the same. They would smile and laugh, but all of us could tell they were hurting. And not just emotionally, either. Sirius had cuts and bruises on his face and arms. He and Addi both said he'd fallen out of a tree. James questioned this, asking what he was doing climbing a tree when he could fly. Sirius just shrugged and didn't answer.

One morning during their visit, I awoke early. I glanced around my bedroom where James was still asleep on the bed, Sirius slept on an armchair in the corner, and Peter was in a sleeping bag on the floor, snoring. Aware of the dangerous consequences that would result from depriving the three of them of their sleep, I headed downstairs without them. From the window by the staircase, I could see that a pink glow was just beginning to light the horizon. Rather sleepily, I stumbled into the living room. I jumped, as I noticed the room wasn't empty. A shadowy figure I recognized as Addi occupied the sofa. As I approached her, I noticed that her face was buried in her hands and she was crying softly.

"Addi?" I whispered. "Are you okay?" She glanced up at me, her eyes glistening with tears. She hastily began rubbing them with her fists.

"Oh, Remus. I'm fine. I—er couldn't sleep," she said quickly.

"Me either," I said. She motioned for me to sit down, and I did.

"So, is there something keeping you from sleeping?" I asked her.

"No, not really," she replied quietly, her eyes darting towards the ground.

"Are you sure?" I asked. She sighed and pressed her eyes shut tightly.

"I miss dad," she whispered quietly.

"I'm really sorry about him, Addi," I said to her. "If there's anything I can do..."

"No, really, I'm fine," she insisted. She forced a smile, but there were tears in her eyes.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" I asked gently.

"Well, I...I can't," she finished, tears rolling down her cheeks. She began to cry softly.

"It's okay to cry," I said doubtful of whether I was saying the right thing. "I think you need to cry." She sobbed.

"It's been months since it happened though. I just want to know when it'll stop feeling like this," she cried.

"I'm sure it will get better," I whispered. "You lost someone you love, and healing doesn't come easily. The best healer is time." I placed my arm on her shoulder and she buried her face in my shirt. A bit surprised at first, I sat with her as she cried for a while. Eventually, she lifted her head and wiped her eyes.

"I think I'm feeling better now," she said. "Thanks."

We sat in silence for a few moments. The warm rays of the early morning summer sun were shining a bit brighter through the windows now. I glanced at Addi, and noticed she was looking at me. Not the same way as usual, there was something different. Feeling a bit uneasy, I looked back at her.

"Thank you for being here for me, Remus," she said. I nodded.

Before I knew what was happening, she leaned forward and kissed me, right on the lips. I stared blankly at her. There was an awkward silence. I noticed she turned slightly red, and I could feel myself turning red too.

"I better go now."

"I'm going to go back upstairs." We spoke at the same time. A curious sensation still tingled on my lips. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I ascended the staircase, noticing that my knees were shaking like mad. I could barely keep my balance. I could feel the warm blood rushing to my face, and I became aware that I had a grin stretched from ear to ear. Addi liked me. She'd just kissed me. For a few seconds, I felt I must have been the luckiest person alive. Of course, it didn't take long for the ugliness of reality to set in. She didn't know she'd just kissed a werewolf. What could I do? I had to tell her now. She had enough misfortunes in her life already, losing both of her parents. But she deserved to know. She had no idea what she was getting herself into. I couldn't tell her, but I had to do something. I thought of talking to one of my friends about it. James seemed to know a lot about liking girls, of course, I remembered, every time he tried to talk to Lily it usually resulted in her getting angry with him. Sirius was Addi's brother, and I didn't feel comfortable talking to him about it. And Peter, well, Peter and girls didn't belong in the same sentence. He usually tried to avoid them as much as possible. I went back to my room, where everyone was still sleeping. I sat down on the floor and thought. I knew what I had to do, as much as I didn't want to admit it.

Later that day, when I saw Addi again, both of us turned bright red with embarrassment again, receiving odd glances from everyone else. It remained that way for the rest of the visit; the two of us didn't talk much, because neither knew how the other had reacted. The fact that I was concerned about telling her about being a werewolf didn't help either. I purposely tried to avoid her the majority of the time, most likely giving her the feeling that she'd angered me. Needless to say, I never did get the courage to tell Addi that summer. She and Sirius left a few days after the incident, and I didn't see them until we went to Diagon Alley. By then, Addi and I were talking like normal again. But there were other more serious issues to preoccupy my concerns. Sirius had fresh cuts and bruises on him, and even Addi had a few. Something wasn't right with them. It worried me, and it worried James and Peter too.