Title: The Broken Dream
Season: Summer between Six and Seven
Genre: Drama
Primary Character: Xander
Teaser: After Buffy's death Xander thinks about his true feelings for her.
Note: This is my first Buffy fanfic, please be kind.
Xander layed in bed thinking of the past few weeks. Buffy's funeral, Willow's almost constant breakdowns, and Anya's excitement about the wedding. He looked over to watch Anya sleeping. She seemed to peaceful and it almost made him forget how he really felt about her. The love ridden looks made him smile, but it never filled the void he felt now.
Xander slowly got out of the bed, waking Anya would only cause questions he'd rather not answer. He walked out to their balcony and looked up at the night sky. It was late and by looking out of Sunnydale one could forget that this place was a heaven for vampires, demons, and other things that he probably would only dream about. He wondered how Dawn was doing. He never saw her cry until that fateful morning of Buffy's funeral when she broke down and had to leave before it was over. He's the one who drove her home and placed her in her bed when she fell asleep in the car from crying so hard. Remembering that day made him remember that he never cried for Buffy. Not even when starring at her fallen corpse could he muster the courage to think that she was really gone.
Anya always assumed that he must have cried alone, for she never asked him about it. But no, Xander never cried and he was afraid that if he did he might remember how he really did feel about Buffy. He loved her, but more then that, he had always wanted to be with her. From the moment he saw her he knew that one way or another he had to have her. When she started to go out with Angel, that's when the fantasy started to fade. How could Xander compare to him? Eventually, one guy after another came along, tearing his emotions apart.
When Anya wanted to be with him he thought that maybe he could finally get over Buffy. He was wrong. Xander thought that marriage was the only way for him to finally leave and let go. The moment he saw Buffy dead body lying on that pile of rubble he knew he was wrong. He wanted Buffy all along and there she was, the broken dream. Ever since then memories of her plague his mind and he can't sleep a wink without her image flooding his thoughts. Why? Why did this happen? A lone tear fell from his face and he gripped the railing on the balconey harder. "No", he told himself. "Thinking of her will only make it harder." That's when it hit. He broke down and cried. The tears stinged his eyes and he knew that there was no stopping them now. He slowly fell to the floor and leaned against the railing. "Buffy," he cried. The only girl he ever loved so much it hurt was gone and now he was left with a ex-demon that he might never love. Oh, sweet misery.
Season: Summer between Six and Seven
Genre: Drama
Primary Character: Xander
Teaser: After Buffy's death Xander thinks about his true feelings for her.
Note: This is my first Buffy fanfic, please be kind.
Xander layed in bed thinking of the past few weeks. Buffy's funeral, Willow's almost constant breakdowns, and Anya's excitement about the wedding. He looked over to watch Anya sleeping. She seemed to peaceful and it almost made him forget how he really felt about her. The love ridden looks made him smile, but it never filled the void he felt now.
Xander slowly got out of the bed, waking Anya would only cause questions he'd rather not answer. He walked out to their balcony and looked up at the night sky. It was late and by looking out of Sunnydale one could forget that this place was a heaven for vampires, demons, and other things that he probably would only dream about. He wondered how Dawn was doing. He never saw her cry until that fateful morning of Buffy's funeral when she broke down and had to leave before it was over. He's the one who drove her home and placed her in her bed when she fell asleep in the car from crying so hard. Remembering that day made him remember that he never cried for Buffy. Not even when starring at her fallen corpse could he muster the courage to think that she was really gone.
Anya always assumed that he must have cried alone, for she never asked him about it. But no, Xander never cried and he was afraid that if he did he might remember how he really did feel about Buffy. He loved her, but more then that, he had always wanted to be with her. From the moment he saw her he knew that one way or another he had to have her. When she started to go out with Angel, that's when the fantasy started to fade. How could Xander compare to him? Eventually, one guy after another came along, tearing his emotions apart.
When Anya wanted to be with him he thought that maybe he could finally get over Buffy. He was wrong. Xander thought that marriage was the only way for him to finally leave and let go. The moment he saw Buffy dead body lying on that pile of rubble he knew he was wrong. He wanted Buffy all along and there she was, the broken dream. Ever since then memories of her plague his mind and he can't sleep a wink without her image flooding his thoughts. Why? Why did this happen? A lone tear fell from his face and he gripped the railing on the balconey harder. "No", he told himself. "Thinking of her will only make it harder." That's when it hit. He broke down and cried. The tears stinged his eyes and he knew that there was no stopping them now. He slowly fell to the floor and leaned against the railing. "Buffy," he cried. The only girl he ever loved so much it hurt was gone and now he was left with a ex-demon that he might never love. Oh, sweet misery.