Chapter 28: An Unexpected Visit
Sixth year went by quickly and uneventfully after that. Soon, it was summer once again. Just a few days after I'd arrived home from school, it was full moon.
I was in my bedroom, waiting around for sundown, when suddenly, something large swooped in my open window and flew around the room. Finally, it perched on my desk. It was Ernie, Sirius' owl.
"Hi Ernie," I said to it. "What are you doing here?" The owl ruffled his feathers importantly, and presented a letter. Why was Sirius writing to me already? He almost never wrote in the summer.
But the letter wasn't from Sirius. It was from Addi.
Dear Remus,
There's something I need to tell you. I can't keep it a secret any longer. I know you and everyone else have probably already figured it out, but our grandfather is abusive. I've been wanting to tell you for ages, but Sirius made me promise not to. But I'm scared, Remus, really scared. Sirius just pushes Grandfather too far sometimes, and I think he might get really mad and hurt him really bad, or even try to kill him. He abuses me too, mostly just when I try to stick up for Sirius. He's a Muggle and he hates anything to do with magic. I need your help, we need your help. Please, Remus. I don't think we can take this much longer.
Love,
Addi
I stood at the desk, jaw dropped open, shocked to hear the news. I had known it, of course, but I guess since they continually denied it, I wanted to believe that it wasn't true. But it was, and Addi needed my help. What could I do? I thought for quite a while, before glancing out the window and noticing that the sun had almost disappeared. I called goodbye to my parents, who were sitting in the living room. They gave me a strange look, but then realized why I was hurrying and nodded. I ran out the back door and just reached the shed, got inside and locked the door, when I felt the transformation start.
The next morning, I found myself on the floor of the shed, like normal. Tired, weak, scratched, bitten and bleeding, my head pounding as though it was going to explode. As I slowly regained consciousness, I remembered that something had happened right before I left. I thought, and suddenly I recalled the situation.
Addi and Sirius! The letter. I had to help them, I had to. I stood up suddenly, determined to try to do something to help them, and fell back over before I could even balance myself. I felt dizzy, the room around me was spinning rapidly. I heard a loud thump, and it took me a second to realize that I had fallen back onto the floor. An instant later, I was asleep.
I awoke again, in early afternoon, to someone tapping my arm. It was my mum.
"Remus," she said. "Remus, sweetie. Come on, let's go back to the house."
"I'm tired," I muttered, not opening my eyes.
"You can sleep when you get back to the house," my mum said. "Now, let's go." She took my arm and tried to guide me to my feet. I finally stood up. She put her arm around me and guided me back to the house, and up the stairs to my room.
"Now, lie down," she said, pulling the sheets down on my bed. I was just ready to listen to her, when I spotted the letter, still lying on my desk. I forced myself fully awake.
"No, I'm not tired anymore," I lied, though it wasn't convincing.
"Nonsense!" she said. "You need your rest. You're exhausted."
"No, really, Mum," I said. "I'm fine. It really wasn't that bad this month." I lied. If anything, it was worse than normal.
"Don't be ridiculous, Remus," she said. "Now, lie down," she forced me to lie down and placed the covers over me. Seventeen years old and my mother was still treating me like I was six. Reluctantly, I listened to her. I fell asleep again, and the letter was once again neglected.
The next time I awoke, it was two a.m. I wanted to help Sirius and Addi, somehow. That's all I knew. I couldn't let something really bad happen to them. I was also sort of angry with them though, I couldn't believe they wouldn't admit to us before that their grandfather was abusive. Finally, realizing that I was still very tired, and very out of ideas to help them, I decided I could wait until morning. But, I didn't even wake up again until that evening. Still feeling absolutely exhausted, I wrote a letter back to Addi, using Ernie.
Dear Addi,
I am glad you decided to finally tell me. I wish you would have said something sooner. I'll do anything I can to help, but I'm not sure what to do right now. I hope you and Sirius are all right. Please BE CAREFUL! I'm really worried about you two. Please write and let me know that you're okay. If there is anything I can do, please tell me!
Love,
Remus
I rolled up the parchment, attached it to Ernie's leg and sent him back out the window.
"Hurry, Ernie," I said. "They need help." Ernie hooted as he flew off. I fell asleep again and woke up the next morning, finally feeling back to myself. The morning started off like normal. My mum fixed a huge breakfast, saying that since I'd barely eaten anything in three days, I needed plenty. We ate, and I discussed inviting Addi and Sirius to stay with us for a while over the summer. At least then they could get away from their grandfather for a while.
"Mum, Dad, do you think I could invite Sirius and Addi to stay with us for a while this summer?" I asked, hopefully.
"Well, I don't see why not," replied my mum, glancing at my dad who nodded.
"They're such nice kids," my dad added. "So when should we plan to have them come?" I thought. I wanted them there as soon as possible.
"How about next week," I suggested.
"Okay, dear, do you think they'll need to take the train? Or will their grandfather give them a ride here? They are muggles, right?" mum asked.
"I think they'll have a ride," I answered, remembering the limo that had brought them before. "I'll write to them and see."
"Okay, then, tell them they're welcome anytime," said dad.
"What about your other friends?" asked mum. "You know James and Peter, and those two girls, what are their names again?"
"Lily and Erin," I replied.
"Would you like to invite them too?" she asked.
"Yeah," I answered. I hadn't even given that any thought. I was too concerned about Sirius and Addi.
"Goodness! I'm running late for work!" dad exclaimed, jumping up from the table, grabbing his cloak and heading for the fireplace.
"Bye dad!" I called.
"Bye Remus! Bye Sarah!" he called to my mum and I. "I'll be back in time for dinner tonight!" With that, he tossed some floo powder into the fire, shouted "the ministry!" and disappeared into the flames.
I helped mum clean up, then went upstairs to my room to write letters to my friends inviting them to come. I wrote to Sirius and Addi first, telling them to come as soon as possible, then to James, telling him that Sirius and Addi had admitted to their grandfather being abusive, then to Peter, Lily, and Erin telling them to come too. I attached all of the letters to Jeremy, knowing that my friends would see the other letters, and send him on with them until they were all delivered. I hoped that Sirius and Addi's would be delivered first.
Later that afternoon, I was sitting in the living room, when I heard the sound of a motorcycle. It sounded like it was pulling in the driveway. I glanced out the front window. It was Sirius and Addi. Jeremy must have flown fast, I thought. I went out the front door to greet them.
"Hi Sirius! Hi Addi!" I called to them. They didn't answer, and as soon as I got closer, I realized why. The first thing I noticed was the large bruise and cut on Sirius' forehead, like he'd been hit with something hard. And then I noticed the red marks on his throat, like someone had tried to strangle him. His right arm hung limply at an odd angle, and he was covered in bruises and cuts. Addi wasn't as badly beaten, but clearly someone had hurt her too. She had bruises all over, including a particularly nasty one on the side of her forehead, and she'd been slapped across the face with such force that a large red hand print remained on the side of her face.
"Guys? What happened?" I asked, not wanting to admit that I knew exactly what had happened. Addi had just written and told me about their grandfather. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing. But what else could it be? Now wasn't the time to think about that. They needed help. Sirius climbed off of the motorbike, and almost immediately began to fall. I caught him just in time, and he used my shoulder for support. I offered a hand to Addi, who slowly climbed off of the bike, favoring her right leg.
"My god!" my mum exclaimed as she came running out of the house. "What happened to you two?" she asked. I glanced questioningly at Sirius, then at Addi.
"Addi needs a doctor," Sirius muttered.
"And so do you," I told him.
"Grandfather went after us," said Addi quietly.
"Your grandfather did this to you?" mum asked, sounding surprised. Addi nodded, and Sirius looked at the ground.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner!" I shouted at them.
"Now Remus," said mum. "Now is not the time. Let's get them inside and get the doctor." Mum helped Sirius, and I helped Addi to the house. When we got them there, we sat them down on chairs in the living room, and mum went to get the doctor. A few seconds later, the doctor appeared in the fireplace.
"Well, what have we here?" he asked, spotting Sirius and Addi on the chairs.
"They've been abused," said mum quietly. "By their grandfather."
"Goodness!" exclaimed the doctor. "Well, let's see how bad it is." He examined both of them, starting with the large bruise on Sirius's head.
"Looks like you've suffered a concussion," said the doctor. "No mild one either. How did this happen?" Sirius wouldn't answer. We glanced to Addi.
"Grandfather, he--he hit Sirius with a fireplace poker," she said quietly, shuddering.
"You poor kids," said the doctor, as he began to bandage their wounds. "I'm afraid we're going to need to contact social services. We can't have you going back to where you were."
"They are always welcome here," said mum. The doctor shook his head.
"What if their grandfather were to come looking for them? Besides, this needs to be reported to the Ministry of Magic department of Child Care Regulation. Most likely they'll get a nice foster wizard family that will be willing to take them in until they go back to school. They are wizards?"
"Addi's not," Sirius said. It was a lot of effort for him to even be able to speak. The doctor frowned. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't know how to state it clearly.
"If your sister's not a witch, and you're a wizard," he spoke to Sirius. "Well, er—wizard families generally don't care for muggle children, and muggles don't usually care for wizard children."
"What do you mean?" Sirius demanded, his voice hoarse.
"I think you and your sister may end up being split up," said the doctor.
"No," Sirius flat-out told him. "I won't leave her." The doctor frowned.
"Well, it isn't in my position to tell you what to do with them," said the doctor to my mum. "But I suggest you contact social services and child care regulation. Wait until tomorrow, mind you. These two need plenty of rest. I'll be back later to administer more medication and see that they're doing all right. Other than that, they'll be just fine. Keep them in bed, though."
"Okay, thank you," said Mum, seeing the doctor back to the fireplace. I turned to talk to Addi and Sirius, but found them both fast asleep on the beds mum had conjured for them.
"Come on, Remus," said mum, placing her hand on my shoulder and leading me out of the room. "They need their rest."
"Mum, are you going to contact child care regulation?" I asked. She sighed.
"Remus, I don't know what else to do. They need help. They're your friends. Do you want to see them go back to their grandfather's and have this happen again?" she asked. I shook my head. I didn't. "Now, I'm going to see about getting your father at the ministry," she continued. "I'll be right back. Don't wake Sirius or Addi."
"Okay mum," I said. I went back to my room to see if Jeremy had returned yet. I found him sitting outside my window, hooting loudly, waiting for me to open it. I pulled it open.
"Sorry, Jeremy," I said. He flew around the room a few times, then settled himself on my desk and held out several rolled up letters. My friends replies. I took them off one by one, and noticed that the one I'd written to Sirius and Addi was still there. Jeremy hooted loudly when I took it off.
"It's okay," I said. "They're here already." I placed Jeremy in his cage and he drank some water, then settled himself on his perch for a nap. The first letter was from James, who seemed very concerned, and said he would arrive as soon as possible, probably in a few hours, by floo powder. The next was from Peter. He'd be coming early the next morning by train, as would Erin, whose letter was next. Lily's letter said that she'd be there later in the evening.
"Remus!" I heard James' voice downstairs. "Remus, are you here?"
"Yeah! Coming!" I shouted, running down the stairs.
"What the hell happened to them!" he exclaimed, pointing to Sirius and Addi, who were still fast asleep. "Their grandfather didn't do that?" I nodded.
"And they came the whole way here on Sirius' motorbike. Must've taken them two days," I added. James shook his head.
"I don't believe it," he muttered. "Why didn't they tell us sooner that their grandfather was abusive?" I shrugged.
"Addi said in her letter that she'd been wanting to tell me since third year when it started, but Sirius wouldn't let her."
"Well, Sirius is like that," said James, sighing. "He doesn't want anyone to worry about him. He thinks he can handle everything on his own."
"I know," I agreed. "It makes me so mad though! What if their grandfather would have done something worse to them? We're their friends! They shouldn't keep things like that from us!" I was angry. Didn't it ever occur to them that maybe we could have helped? And instead they lied to us about all their injuries, and said everything was fine. For three years!
"Mum's going to contact child care regulation," I told James. His mouth dropped open.
"You mean they're probably going to get a foster home?" he asked. I shook my head.
"Foster homes," I added. "The doctor said he doubts they'll be put together because Addi's a muggle." James just sighed and shook his head.
"So, when's everyone else coming?" he asked. "I talked to Lily and she's coming tonight."
"Erin and Peter are arriving on the morning train," I said. "Peter's all out of floo powder, and Erin's staying with her muggle grandmother for the summer." James nodded. Just then, we cleared the way of the fireplace as my mum and dad both came through.
"Oh, hello James," said dad, when he saw him.
"Hi, Mr. Lupin," said James. "Hi, Mrs. Lupin." He said to mum.
"Hello, dear," said mum, smiling. James held back a laugh. She didn't know how right she was when she called him "deer".
"Poor kids," said dad, looking at Sirius and Addi. "What kind of a person would do that? Especially to his own grandchildren? Well, Sarah, should we owl child care regulation over at the ministry?" he asked mum.
"I suppose so," she replied, rather reluctantly. "I hate to see them split those two up. I wish they'd let us keep them here."
"It's too dangerous," said dad. "Besides, it'll only be for this summer. Then they'll go back to school, and in spring they'll be graduated. I'll go write the letter." He added, heading towards the kitchen. Mum nodded. Sirius stirred. We glanced over at his bed in the corner. He made an effort to open his eyes, then glanced around.
"James?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's me," said James, trying to appear cheerful. "How are ya feeling, Padfoot?"
"Fine," said Sirius, trying to sit up, failing, and falling back onto the cot.
"You're not fine!" I yelled. "He tried to kill you! And all because you didn't tell us! If you would have told us, we could have helped you! Then this never would have happened!"
Sirius stared at me, his eyes now wide with surprise. "It's none of your business!" he tried to shout, and began coughing. "And anyway, what makes you think this has happened before?"
"Sirius, all those times you 'fell down the stairs' or 'fell out of a tree' or 'wrecked your motorbike'! How dumb do you think we are?" James asked. Sirius shrugged.
"Do you deny that it's happened before?" I questioned threateningly. Sirius didn't reply. "Well?" Slowly, Sirius shook his head.
"It's been happening since third year," Addi spoke from her cot. "Don't deny it, Sirius."
"I knew it!" shouted James, pointing a finger at him. "You've been lying to us the whole time!"
"What's all this shouting about, Remus?" asked dad, now sticking his head inside the room.
"Nothing, dad," I replied quickly.
"I hope you're not shouting at Sirius and Addi. This is not their fault," he said.
"Mr. Lupin," said Sirius. "Please don't tell Child Care Regulation. I don't want them to split me up from what's left of my family." Dad sighed, and came to sit at Sirius' bedside.
"I know you're worried about that. I will do everything I can to see that you two stay together. But we need to contact them, because what your grandfather did was very wrong, and he needs to be punished. Do you understand?" Sirius nodded. "Good, then I'll let you to get your rest. Sarah says the doctor should be back soon." Dad left us in the room with Sirius and Addi, but our argument was interrupted yet again, by a knock on the front door.
"Lily," said James. "Mind if I get it?"
"Go ahead," I replied. He left the room, and I looked back to Sirius, then to Addi.
"So, why did he do this to you?" I asked. They exchanged glances. "Tell me. I want the truth." I said.
"You tell him," Addi told Sirius. He stared at me a moment, stalling, but finally he spoke.
"I got a letter in the mail. It was a scholarship, to be trained to become an auror. Well, I didn't open it, my grandfather did. When he read it, he came to my room, dragged me out, and threw me down the stairs. When he showed it to me, I got excited because I'd been wanting it, you know I'd been wanting it, Remus." That was true. Sirius always talked about becoming an auror. "That made him mad. He hated magic, grandfather did. He hated our mother for what she was, and he said she tainted our blood. You heard him talk about her when you visited our house. So when he heard that I would be in training for a magic job, it was too much for him. He just completely cracked…" Sirius trailed off. Addi looked at him, then began talking, beginning where he'd left off.
"Grandfather got so angry with Sirius about the letter that he just snapped. I heard him throw Sirius down the stairs and came running into the hall to see what had happened. When I got there, Grandfather had just slapped Sirius across the face, then he threw him in my direction. I helped him up, but grandfather went after him again. He threw him to the ground and started kicking him, hard. He told him he could never go back to school again. He called him a filthy mudblood that murdered his own parents." She spoke barely above a whisper. James and Lily were now standing at the doorway of the room, listening. James' eyes were wide, and Lily's mouth was dropped open with shock. Sirius spoke now.
"I wasn't going to let him call me that," Sirius said. "I wasn't going to let him deny my future. So I stood up, and I started shouting at him. He shoved me into a wall that time. Addi came and tried to help me, but he grabbed her and threw her into the wall too. I shouted at him to leave her alone, but he didn't listen, and he slapped her again. That was it. I wasn't going to take it anymore. So, I—I pulled out my wand on him."
"Sirius, you didn't!" I said. He slowly nodded and continued.
"I held my wand to him, and that moment, my grandmother entered the room. She asked what was going on, and no one answered. I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness, and grandfather managed to get my wand away from me. That's why my arm was dislocated. Then, he grabbed me by the neck and tried to choke me. Just when I was about to pass out, he let go. I heard Addi scream, and for an instant, I saw him holding a fire poker above my head. Then he hit me with it, and I was knocked unconscious." Addi continued from there.
"After that, grandfather stormed off. I was really scared. I dragged Sirius up to his room. I was trying to help him. I tried to get him to come back to consciousness, but a few minutes later, grandfather came back. He grabbed me, dragged me to my room, threw me inside, and locked me there. I stayed until that night, not even knowing if Sirius was still alive. Then when it was dark, he flew up next to my window and we left. We flew on his motorbike for two days, and here we are." She finished and the five of us stayed silent for a few seconds. The silence was finally broken by Lily.
"Your grandfather did this to you. I don't believe it," she said quietly.
"Well, maybe if they would have told us, it never would have happened," James pointed out. "We should have seen it. Moony, we knew it so long ago and we didn't do anything."
"Yeah," I agreed, feeling guilty.
"You mean it's happened before?" Lily asked. I answered.
"Yeah, it's been happening to them since third year, only they never mentioned it until last week when Addi sent me a letter. By that time it was too late."
"Why didn't you guys tell us?" asked Lily calmly. "We would have helped you."
"I didn't want your help! I didn't want your pity!" Sirius shouted.
"That's just your problem Sirius! You think you can handle everything on your own! It doesn't matter how afraid you are, you're more afraid to ask for help, to admit you need help, than you are to face it on your own! But this time you saw, you got hurt, you faced the consequences! Maybe next time you'll realize what friends are for!" James shouted. Lily grabbed his arm.
"Calm down, James," she said. James remained silent. Sirius stared at him.
"Fine, you're right," Sirius muttered. "I should have gotten your help."
"Good," I replied. "Because that's what friends are for. We'd never think any less of you because of it. It's brave to face things on your own, but it's even more brave to realize that you can't handle it on your own and ask for help."
"Yeah, child abuse isn't something to be taken lightly. You shouldn't have put up with it all that time. You didn't deserve it. Your grandfather is a bad person and he deserves to be punished. You didn't deserve to be hurt like this," said Lily. Sirius and Addi both nodded.
"Can I go to sleep now?" asked Sirius, who looked extremely tired. I was ready to answer yes, when the doctor showed up in the fireplace.
"I'm back to check on them again," he said to me. I nodded.
"Come on guys," said Lily, directing us out of the room. On the way upstairs, I let mum and dad know that the doctor was back. Lily knew where the spare room was by then, and took her things there. James and I went to my room, where he placed his things. After a few minutes, we headed back downstairs to the living room. The doctor was gone, and my parents were telling Sirius and Addi goodnight.
"You two get plenty of rest," said mum, as she and dad turned to leave.
"Don't be long," dad said as they passed us in the doorway. "They need to sleep."
"Okay, dad. Goodnight," I said.
"Goodnight," replied both dad and mum.
"Goodnight Mr. and Mrs. Lupin," said Lily.
"Yeah, goodnight," added James.
"Goodnight," replied mum, and they left the room. We entered the room. It was now illuminated by only a single candle, which burned in the corner.
"Goodnight guys," whispered Lily quietly to Sirius and Addi, who were lying down, their eyes closed.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow," added James.
"Goodnight," both of them replied. James and Lily turned to leave.
"Coming Moony?" asked James.
"Go on," I said. "I'll be up in a few minutes."
"Okay, goodnight," said Lily. They left. Sirius had rolled over and appeared to have fallen asleep. I went over and sat down in the chair at Addi's bedside.
"Addi?" I said softly, checking to see if she was still awake.
"Yeah?" she replied, opening her tired blue eyes and staring up at me. I took her hand and held it in mine.
"Addi, I wish you would have told me sooner," I said to her. She nodded.
"I wanted to, Remus, but Sirius asked me not to. I promised him I wouldn't. I didn't want to break my promise," she replied.
"I understand," I told her. "It's just that you were in danger, and we could have helped you. I hope if anything like this ever happens again you'll tell me before it's too late." She nodded.
"I will. I promise."
"Good," I said. "I love you."
"I love you too," she answered. I kissed her hand.
"Aww, that's so sweet," said Sirius jokingly. Apparently he wasn't asleep.
"Shut up," I said. Addi laughed.
"Goodnight guys," I said. "See you tomorrow."
"Goodnight," both of them replied, as I blew out the candle and left the room.
The next morning, I went with dad to the train station to pick up Peter and Erin. James and Lily were staying behind with Sirius and Addi. We arrived at the train station in about forty-five minutes. We got out of the car and stood, waiting for Peter and Erin. They'd already found each other, and we spotted them in no time.
"Peter! Erin!" I called to them. Erin glanced over and saw me, pointed my dad and I out to Peter, and they walked over to us, pulling their trunks behind them
"Hi Moony," said Peter.
"What's up, Wormtail?" I replied.
"Hello, Remus, Mr. Lupin," said Erin quietly.
"Hi Erin," I said. I was wondering if I should tell them about Sirius and Addi. I didn't know how to put it mildly.
"Well, kids," said dad. "Let's be getting back to the house now." We climbed back into the car. We were silent as dad started the car, and we got back onto the road. It turned out that I didn't have to tell Erin and Peter what had happened. My dad took care of it.
"Peter, Erin," he said. "Something happened to your friends Sirius and Addi the other day." Erin's face changed to a worried expression.
"What happened?" asked Peter.
"Well, Sirius and Addi have been living with their grandfather for three years now," said dad. "And, sadly, it turns out that he was abusive. He attacked them the other night. They're in fairly bad shape right now, but they'll be just fine." He added.
"Oh my gosh!" exclaimed Erin. "I knew something was going on with Sirius being hurt all the time. He would never talk to me about it."
"Yeah, it seems he forgot to mention it to all of us," I said.
"Poor Sirius and Addi," said Peter. "Are they hurt really bad?"
"Sirius had a concussion," I said. "And they both have broken ribs. Other than that, they have lots of cuts and bruises." We rode home the rest of the way without anymore discussion of Sirius and Addi. We finally arrived home, and I led Peter and Erin to the living room. Addi and Sirius were both awake, talking to James and Lily.
"Sirius!" Erin cried when she saw him, and ran to his bedside. "Are you all right?"
"Erin," said Sirius. "I'm fine, really."
"I can't believe he did this to you," she said to him.
"You know?" Sirius asked her.
"Mr. Lupin told me," she replied.
"Hey Wormtail," said Sirius, spotting him. After everyone said hello to everyone else, mum and dad entered the room, dad checking his watch.
"They should be here any moment," dad said.
"Who should be here?" I asked.
"The Child Care Regulations worker," he replied. "Now, I'm going to have to ask all of you except for Sirius and Addi to leave the room." He said. Reluctantly we turned and left.
"Upstairs, to your rooms," said mum, when she found us all crowding outside of the room, hoping to hear the conversation. We reluctantly headed up the stairs. We all went to my room, where we strained to hear what was going on downstairs. But it was useless.
"I hope they don't put them in foster care," said James.
"Oh, that would be horrible," said Erin.
"It would only be for two months though," said Lily. "Only until school starts again." We nodded.
"I don't see why they couldn't stay here," pointed out Peter.
"The doctor said that if their grandfather came looking for them, he'd probably check here, so that's why" I told them. We stared around the room, bored, until finally we heard the Child Care Regulations worker leave through the fireplace. At that we all jumped up and ran downstairs. We encountered my parents in the hall.
"What's going on?"
"What's going to happen to them?" We bombarded my parents with questions.
"Sirius and Addi are going to go to stay at St. Mungo's hospital in Diagon Alley for a while," said mum. "James, they've already spoken to your parents, and when Sirius and Addi are well enough, they will be staying at your house for the remainder of the summer." We nodded. The arrangement was much better than we'd been expecting.
The next morning, Sirius and Addi were taken to St. Mungo's in a large bus that arrived. James, Lily, Erin and Peter stayed two more days before they went home. James, who lived close enough to St. Mungo's, said he'd visit Sirius and Addi everyday. Peter and Erin, like me, weren't allowed to use floo powder alone, or we too could have visited them. Lily, of course, couldn't, being from a muggle family.
Two weeks later, I received a letter from James saying that Sirius and Addi were at his house, and inviting everyone else to come and visit for a while too. I received the in late afternoon. A while later, I was helping mum make dinner.
"Addi and Sirius are out of the hospital," I told her, as she waved her wand to put the crust on top of a meat pie.
"That's great news," she said. "Could you set the table?" she asked. I went to get the plates. There was a tap on the window out in the dining room.
"Oh, that must be the mail," said mum. "I'll be back in a minute." She said, leaving the room. I set the table. Mum returned to the room few minutes later, pale and shaking, holding a letter in her hand.
"Mum?" I said. "Mum, what is it? What's wrong?" She said nothing, simply held out the letter. I took it from her trembling hand, and read.
Mrs. Sarah Lupin:
It is with great apologies and much sympathy that we inform you that your husband, Mr. Christopher Lupin, was one of three casualties resulting from an accident earlier today. The accident involved the testing of a product; Barnabas' High-Powered Flying Beans (beans that enable the user to fly without the use of a broomstick). Unfortunately, there was a problem in the beans (we suspect a shortage in the amount of phoenix feathers used) and the flying power didn't last long enough for the flyers to return safely to the ground. We are terribly sorry for this accident. Please contact us for more details. We apologize greatly for this unfortunate accident.
Sincerely,
Mr. Arnold M. Abbott
Head of Department of Wizard Manufacturing and Product Testing
The Ministry of Magic
PS. I grieve terribly for this accident. I knew Chris well, and he was a very kind person. He will be missed greatly at the Ministry. If there is anything I can do to make this easier for you and your son, please let me know.
The letter fell from my shaking hand and fluttered to the ground. I stared at it lying on the floor, not wanting to look up at mum. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. Dad couldn't be dead. Not my dad, not the man who I'd just seen this morning, who'd said goodbye just the same as always before leaving for work, same as always. Not my dad, the person who pushed me to go to Hogwarts when no one else would have. Not my dad, the person who never stopped caring about me because of what I was. Not my dad. It couldn't be true. Any moment, my dad would come walking in through the fireplace, like normal. He'd come in and greet mum with a kiss, then come and ask me how my day was, as we ate dinner. We were a family. I couldn't lose my family. I felt tears spill out of my eyes. I glanced up. Mum was staring at me, her eyes glistened with tears, her expression worried.
"Oh, Remus!" she cried suddenly, putting her arms around me and sobbing. "I don't know what we'll do. I just don't know."
"It's okay, mum," I tried to reassure her, though I was now crying too. "Everything will be fine." The words I spoke meant nothing to me. They were lies. Everything would not be fine. I had no father. He was dead, gone. I'd never see him again. Reality set in. I would never see my father again. Never see him smile when he looked at his little family, never hear him tell a joke when I was feeling upset, never listen to his words of encouragement when it was full moon. I felt hollow inside. Nothing felt real. I was dreaming. This was a terrible nightmare. Soon I'd wake up and find my dad there, smiling and cheerful, like he always was. Mum still cried in my arms. Finally, she looked up at me.
"I'm sorry, Remus," she said. "I shouldn't be crying like this. I've got to be strong for us. We're on our own now."
"It's okay, mum," I said. "It's okay to cry." I began to sob uncontrollably again, and at these words, mum burst into tears and left the room.
My mind was so unclear. Thoughts constantly raced through it. I felt so alone, so scared. I couldn't believe how suddenly this had happened to me. I didn't even get to say goodbye, I thought, sitting on my bed, crying. My thoughts were interrupted by Jeremy's hooting. I looked up at the owl, and thought of something. My friends. I should write to them and tell them what happened. They, at least, would offer some sympathy, and they'd certainly be angry if I didn't tell them what had happened. I sat at my desk and began to write letters. When I finally had five letters, ink bleeding from the tears that stained them, I tied them to Jeremy's leg, and sent him off out the window. It was late, so I laid down in my bed and cried myself to sleep.
That night, I had nightmares. I'd see my dad, and for a while I'd be happy. Then, I'd remember that he was dead, and begin yelling at him for leaving mum and I. I awoke in cold sweats, shaking. I didn't want to yell at dad. I knew it wasn't his fault. But I had at least three different versions of the dream that night. Finally, when it was early morning, I awoke, with puffy red eyes, and pale skin. I dreaded to leave my bed. I didn't want to face the day. I didn't want to face mum. She seemed so lost and helpless that it scared me.
I heard a knock on the window of my bedroom. Jeremy was back. I reluctantly crawled out of bed and opened the window. Jeremy had six replies to the letters I'd sent, each of them filled with shock and sympathy. But at least I had something to look forward to. All of my friends were meeting at James' house that day, and coming to visit. They were going to stay for the funeral. The funeral. I hadn't even thought about the funeral. I didn't want to think about the funeral, seeing my father's cold, lifeless body, lying helplessly in a casket, about to be placed six feet under ground. I didn't want to go, but I knew that if I didn't I'd regret it later.
I dressed and went downstairs. Mum was in the kitchen, looking tired and upset, drinking her usual cup of tea. At first I was surprised not to find dad sitting next to her, reading the Daily Prophet and having his cup of tea. Then I remembered, he's dead.
"Good morning, mum," I said, trying to force a smile.
"Good morning, Remus," she replied shakily.
"Mum, some of my friends are going to come and visit us for a while," I said gently. "They want to be here to help us." Mum merely nodded and stared at the table while sipping her tea. I decided to go into the living room to sit by the fireplace and wait for James, Sirius, Addi, Peter, Lily, and Erin to arrive by floo powder. After what seemed like hours, I heard a swirling sound from within the fireplace, and the fire turned glowing green. James emerged first.
"Hi Remus," he said quietly. "I'm really sorry about what happened." I nodded. Sirius emerged next.
"Hey Moony, how ya feelin?" he asked as though everything was normal.
"Okay," I muttered. The next person to arrive was Addi.
"Remus!" she cried when she saw me. "I'm so sorry Remus!" She pulled me into her arms and held me there, as I fought back tears.
"It's okay Remus," she whispered. I couldn't take it anymore. I buried my face in her shoulder. "It hurts to lose people we love. It's okay to cry. It's the only way to relieve the pain." I couldn't fight the tears any longer. I cried until her shoulder was thoroughly soaked. Meanwhile, everyone else arrived. I couldn't help feeling pathetic as I sat there crying as they watched, but every single one of them, even Sirius, encouraged me to cry. Then, after I stopped, he volunteered himself for a game of pitch black. We played for a while, though I was rather unenthusiastic. Once I wasn't paying attention to where I was throwing Sirius and ended up throwing him into an end table and he flipped over it, falling flat on his face. This made even me laugh, though Sirius frowned a bit.
Later that day, after finding what little food was left in the house, we went to bed. My mum had tried to talk to my friends, but was really in no condition to do anything. The next day was the funeral. I had another night of restless sleep, which disturbed James, Sirius and Peter. The next morning, I awoke before everyone else. I dressed in my black dress robes, which were several inches too short, since wizards usually only wore them to funerals, and the only one I'd been to had been three years earlier when my great Aunt Bertha had died, and was trimmed in horrible looking white lace. After showering and dressing, I returned to my room to find James, Sirius and Peter awake and dressed in robes that resembled mine greatly. We knocked on the door of the girls' room, and found them dressed in long black gowns. No one spoke as we headed downstairs, in search of mum, but she wasn't there. After searching the house, I checked in her bedroom, and found her still asleep.
"Mum," I said, waking her up. "Mum." She stared up at me. "Mum, we've got to go to- to… we've got to go to dad's funeral," I said quietly.
"No," she said. "No I won't go."
"Mum, come on," I said. "I know this is hard, but you've got to be there." She burst into tears.
"I don't know what we'll do without your father," she cried.
"Don't worry about that now," I whispered. "Let's just go to the funeral, okay?" I felt like an adult talking to a little kid. Mum nodded, and I left her to get ready.
An hour later, we left to go to the funeral. I hate to even think of the funeral itself. I hate funerals. All I remember are countless people expressing their sympathy to mum and I, and watching my dad's casket being closed, seeing him for the very last time. Ever.
A few days after the funeral, new worries began to set in. We were in the kitchen one evening, looking for something to eat, though there was nothing. I just assumed that with everything going on lately, mum had forgotten to go shopping.
"Mum, I think we'd better go to the store. We're almost out of food," I told her. "We can go pick some things up if you give us some money," I offered. Her eyes began to fill with tears again.
"Remus, I just don't know what to do," she said. "You're father, he—I mean, I've never worked. All of our money, what little we had, came from him. And now that he's gone, we—Remus, we haven't got anything," she said, crying.
"Won't you get pension?" asked James. She nodded.
"But not until all the paperwork goes through," she replied.
"Don't worry," James said. "We'll buy some things, right guys?" he turned to Sirius, Addi, Peter, Erin and Lily, who all nodded.
"Oh, no," said mum. "Don't you kids go spending your money on us." I felt the same way, but I didn't know what else to do, so in the end, they headed off to the store to buy food. I had never thought of being poor as a result of dad's death. The truth was, we never had much money. But it had always been enough. I'd never gone hungry, and I'd always had clothes to wear and a roof over my head. Now, I worried. I looked at mum, and couldn't help but notice how terrible she looked. Her once long straight, brown hair was now turning frizzy with streaks of gray. Her once cheerful face was now wrinkled and wore an expression of sadness and worry. Her bright blue eyes had faded, and there were dark circles under them. She had once been a rather plump woman, but had lost weight rapidly in the past few days, giving her a shrunken appearance. All in all, she looked worse than me after full moon. She looked sick. I suggested that she see a doctor, but she wouldn't hear it. She said what little money we did have should be spent on me. I argued, but she would never have it any other way.
My friends were great during that hard time in my life. They were constant encouragement and they could always make me laugh. After they'd stayed at my house for a few weeks though, mum insisted that they leave.
"I feel awful keeping you kids here taking care of us," she told them one afternoon. "You've got families too, and I'm sure they want you home. I'm not keeping you here any longer. Tomorrow you'll leave. I can drive you if you'd like."