Chapter 40: Rejection; Almost

Three days passed by slowly. I heard nothing of Addi, or Lily, who was with her in their flat. Mari, not wanting to invade, was staying on the couch in our flat, to the great displeasure of James and I.

Finally, on the third morning, there was a knock at the door. I answered.

"Hi Remus," said Lily with a friendly smile. I allowed her to enter.

"Hi," I responded. "How's Addi?"

"She'll be alright," replied Lily. "She's just feeling a little down right now. She'd like to meet you for dinner tonight though. She said you know the place; a little Italian restaurant a few blocks over where you two go a lot." I nodded.

"What time?"

"Seven."

"Okay, I'll be there."

"Great, I'll tell her," replied Lily.

At six-thirty, I dressed in my only Muggle dress suit, smoothing the wrinkles, adjusting the collar, and being sure to look presentable. Just before seven, on a last minute thought, I dug to the bottom of my sock drawer and placed the tiny black box in my jacket pocket. Feeling more secure, I left the flat.

I arrived at the restaurant just at seven, to find Addi already seated at a tiny table in the corner. I walked over.

"Hi Addi," I said slowly. "Am I late?"

"No, no, you're right on time," she replied vaguely. Feeling awkward, I sat down. I pulled Addi's hand in between both of mine. She stared at me blankly.

"I miss you," I said quietly. She turned her head. I let go of her hand and sighed. A waiter arrived to take our orders. After I'd eaten my plate of spaghetti, and she finished her fettucini alfredo in silence, we stood to leave.

"Why don't we go for a walk," I suggested. She didn't object. We began walking in silence, avoiding each other's gaze. I hung my head and stared at the sidewalk passing by under my feet. At this rate, we'd have walked through the entire city of London without having accomplished anything. At last I spotted a tiny park up ahead of us.

"Let's go sit down." I motioned toward a park bench. Addi didn't object.

"I think we need to talk," I said.

"What's there to talk about?" Addi muttered coldly.

"Whatever's bothering you," I replied calmly. She drew in a deep breath.

"I don't want Sirius and Mari to get married," she said quietly.

"Why not?"

"They're my brother and best friend! And they practically just met! And they're already getting married!"

"But isn't it like both Sirius and Mari to tend to rush into things?"

"Well, yeah," said Addi slowly.

"Do you think they love each other?" I asked. She gave me a confused glance, but answered the question.

"Yes, I think they do."

"Well, if two people love each other, then why shouldn't they be married?" I asked.

"Maybe you'd like to answer that question!" shouted Addi

"Is that what this is about?" I asked. "It's not really about Sirius and Mari at all, is it? It's about us."

"Oh, I'm horrible!" Addi moaned. "I'm wishing terrible things for my brother and best friend who want to get married, because—well, I guess I'm envious. And I'm blaming my boyfriend who has done nothing but be there for me. I'm a terrible person!"

"No. No, you're not," I whispered, pulling her into my arms.

"Why do you even bother with me?" asked Addi, her eyes tearing.

"Because—I love you." I thought of the ring tucked in my pocket, and looked at Addi's tear-filled eyes. How could I cause her so much pain? On my first instinct, I slipped my hand inside the pocket and enclosed my fingers around velvet box.

"Addi, you mean the world to me," I began. "And I know how much you want us to be together. Well, I want it just as much as you do." I took a deep breath and held out the box. "Adhara Black, will you marry me?" I snapped the box open and stared at Addi's face, waiting for a reaction. For an instant, nothing. Finally, her eyes softened.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I can't."

"What?"

"Thank you for the offer, Remus, but you only did this because you knew it was what I wanted. I want it to be what you want too." I felt my own eyes begin to fill with tears.

"But Addi, this is what I want, more than anything." She shook her head.

"Let's get back to the flats," she said, standing. I was in too much shock to get to my feet. I couldn't bring words to my lips anymore. I just didn't understand how she could refuse. But what she thought wasn't true; I really did want to spend the rest of my life with her. I supposed I'd never really done a good job showing it, so I decided that's what I needed to do.

"Someday, Remus," said Addi. I felt a stab through my heart and remembered telling Addi those very same words before, only now I knew how she'd felt. We headed back to the flats, barely speaking a word.

"We won't tell anyone about what happened tonight, okay?" said Addi. I nodded. I'd been thinking the same thing. I wished her goodnight without a kiss and headed inside. No one else was home, so I headed to bed.

I didn't get a bit of sleep that night. I stayed awake crying, imagining horrible things, like Addi finally realized she didn't want to spend her life with a werewolf, or that it was really too late and I'd never get to marry her. And all of it was my fault. If only I'd have asked her sooner!

The next morning, I didn't bother getting out of bed. I didn't see any reason get up. I felt miserable, tired eyes, messy hair and an unshaven face, red from resting on the tear-soaked pillow. I closed my eyes and imagined nothing had happened. As soon as I opened my eyes, I faced reality. But I felt as though as long as I hid away, none of what had happened was real. If I didn't have to face it, I didn't have to think about it. Unfortunately, as in the case of all bad situations, that wasn't true.

About four in the afternoon, there was a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called, trying to make my voice sound normal.

"Hi Remus." I froze at the sound of Addi's voice. "Remus?" she spoke gently. "I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I felt really horrible." I couldn't bring myself to respond. I felt her sit down at the edge of the bed. I turned over. She placed her hand on my forehead, brushing back my hair. I stared up at her beautiful eyes and fought back tears again. She leaned over and before I could prevent it, her lips touched mine, taunting my feelings. She sat up, silently, and I watched as tears formed in her eyes.

"Remus?" she asked.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Could we forget everything I said yesterday?"

"You mean...?"

"Yes, I want to marry you. I believe that you were telling the truth when you said it's what you want." I stood and she threw her arms around me, grinning through her tears. I grabbed the box from my nightstand and slid the diamond on her finger.

"There, my future wife," I said, beaming. She grinned broadly.

"Let's go tell everyone."

Everyone seemed very happy for both of us, Mari included. She, Lily and Addi spent hours squealing about the ring. Sirius secretly told me he thought it was the best thing I could have done for Addi.