Summary: A moment of passion changes everything for Max and Alec.

Disclaimer: I own them in my dreams.

A/N: To those who reviewed the last 2 chapters Thank you so much, you guys rock. I love feedback.) This chapter is for you. Hope you like it.

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Without You, I Am Nothing

Alec's Story

I shut my locker at Jam Pony, for what will be the last time and walk out of the building not bothering to look back. What would be the point, there's nothing there for me, not anymore.

I find myself walking, no destination in mind, just walking. I am aware of people around me, normal people, allowed to have normal lives. I am not a part of them, and if I am honest with myself will never be allowed to be part of them.

My feet guide me in a familiar direction & I find myself at Josh's house.

It's been 3 days, which equates to 24 hours or 1440 minutes or 86,400 seconds, it doesn't sound like much. Not in the big scheme of things, but to me it's a lifetime.

I haven't seen Max since that day she walked out of my apartment. Not through lack of trying on my part, but she hasn't responded to my messages and she won't open the door to me. Even though I know she's in, I can feel her. It's like there's this connection between us, stupid right, how can we be connected, when she won't even see me.

I guess I coulda just kicked the door off, but what would be the point, she's made it more than clear she want's no part of me. Heck she hasn't even been to work. OC's been ripping on me wanting to know what I did to her Boo, warning me to stay away. That's right, yep that's me Alec, 494 always the bad guy. No point defending myself.

What would I say, I did what Max asked me to, when she came to my apartment that night she asked me to hold her. Said she felt so alone, so I did.

The next thing I know we were kissing, slow sweet sensual kisses, somehow I managed to pull away, don't ask me how. I think it was fear, I didn't want her to hate me in the morning or even worse hate herself, and if this was for real I needed to know that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Then she'd looked at me with those chocolate brown eyes, all defences gone & said she wanted me, Alec, no one else. The way she said my name, like I was someone important to her, how could I have refused her anything? Hell at that point I think I'd have done anything she'd asked me to.

Flashback To that Night "Carole King / Tapestry"

Tonight you're mine completely

You give your love so sweetly

Tonight the look of love is in your eyes

But will you love me tomorrow

Is this a lasting treasure?

Or just a moments pleasure

Can I believe the magic of your sighs?

Will you still love me tomorrow?

Tonight with words unspoken

You say that I'm the only one

But will my heart be broken

When the night meets the morning sun

I'd like to know that your love

Is love I can be sure of?

So tell me now and I won't ask again

Will you still love me tomorrow?

I come back to the present, wrapped in huge arms, squeezing me trying to comfort me, my cheeks are wet, stained with tears I didn't know I'd shed. I look up and smile at Joshua to let him know I'm ok, moving out of his embrace.

He gazes at me intently placing his large hands on my shoulders, "love sucks, huh". I can only nod in agreement unable to talk through the lump in my throat.

Sometimes I feel he understands me better than I do myself. Which makes what I am about to do even harder. When did this huge half man half beast come to mean so much to me, to become a part of me, family?

Realisation has come to late, my actions that night have destroyed the only family I've ever had. I tell Josh goodbye, holding onto the last vestiges of my composure as he pleads with me not to go. Trying to convince him as much as myself that it's best for everybody that I do.

I make it out the door and into my ride, before breaking down, harsh sobs rack my body as it hits me that once again I've managed to screw everything up, managing to lose the only parts of my life that were good.

I have none

But myself

I am not enough

I can never be enough

Without You

I am nothing

************ I decided to use a song for the Flashback scene, as the words seemed so appropriate.

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