Chapter 47: Traitor

The next two days were more miserable than any I had ever experienced in my life. There was nothing to do except be alone and think. Everything reminded me of James, Lily, Sirius or Peter. I smashed pictures, tore up letters, put everything that made me think of them into boxes, and it didn't help. I couldn't accept the fact that they were gone. For a moment, I'd forget and think maybe Prongs and Padfoot would be coming to see me. Then I'd face the horrible reality all over again, as it haunted me.

I couldn't get flashbacks out of my mind. Everytime I closed my eyes a memory came to me. Memories drove me to insanity. Sometimes I'd forget they weren't real. I'd talk to James, or Lily or Peter or Sirius, as though they could hear me.

Eventually, I decided just to sleep. After hours of tossing and turning awake, I'd finally drift off, only to awake a little while later crying, recalling dreams of being a student at Hogwarts again.

Addi was there too, but neither of us acknowledged the other. We were too consumed in our own grief. Finally, two days had passed, and we had to venture out to the Ministry for Sirius' hearing.

Addi and I joined the crowd that filed into the courtroom. In front sat Barty Crouch, head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Addi and I found seats among the others, near the front. I wondered several times what I was doing there.

"Order! Order!" called Crouch. Several guards dragged Sirius into the courtroom and strapped him to the chair in the center. "Sirius Black, you are convicted of the following: working for Lord Voldemort, aiding in the murder of twenty-one year old James Potter, twenty year old Lily Evans Potter, and attempted murder of their son, one year old Harrison James Potter; as well as the murder of twenty-year old Peter Pettigrew, and twelve muggles." Sirius stared at him blankly, as though in a daze. I felt a surge through my body. I wanted to jump up and shout, to tell him what he did, how much he hurt us. I wanted to make him understand. I wanted to make him sorry. I fought to remain calm.

"How do you plead, Black?" Sirius looked around the courtroom. He said nothing. He wouldn't even admit he was guilty! The traitor! I wanted to leap from my chair and tear him limb from limb. I wanted to take the most horrible curse I could do and curse him to make him suffer like he made the rest of us suffer.

"It is true that when we arrested Mr. Black just two days ago in the street shortly after he murdered Pettigrew, he was found laughing. There were many witnesses, all of them Muggle, who can verify that the convictions are true. Therefore, Sirius Black will recieve a full life sentence to Azkaban."

"No!" Sirius finally cried out. "NO! I'm innocent." The bastard couldn't even admit to commiting the crime. It was too much for me to handle. They began to unstrap him and try to drag him away. I stood to leave, shaking my head, trying to control the rage within me.

"Moony!" Sirius cried, escaping from the guards for a second and falling at my feet. "Believe me, Moony! I'm innocent!" I looked down at the pitiful sight, the murderer of my best friends, of everything I had, falling to my feet and begging for forgiveness. I had a strong urge to kick him as hard as I could. I wanted to shout. I wanted him to understand. I wanted to make him go through what James and Lily went through just to see how it felt.

"Don't call me Moony," I growled. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are dead! You killed them!" There were no marauders anymore. The marauders were long gone. Each was painfully tortured to death, even Padfoot, for he'd unwillingly done it to himself as well. I wished at least he felt guilty. He should have had to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. He should have felt so horrible that he wanted to die; that he should have ended his own life.

"Please, you have to believe me! You have to!" Sirius cried. "You can't let them do this to me!" He grabbed onto my feet.

"Get off!" I muttered, kicking until he let go, watching with grim satisfaction as he winced in pain, the determination disappearing from his face, his expression growing panicked as he realized I wasn't going to believe him; that he was going to spend the rest of his life in a prison cell in Azkaban. "I hope you rot in prison for what you've done!" I shouted loud enough for the whole courtroom to hear. Thoroughly disgusted, I turned to walk away.

"Addi!" Sirius cried. "Addi, believe me!" Addi stared at him, her eyes wide, her expression blank. She reached out her hand as the guards were taking Sirius away. I grabbed her hand and led her out of the courtroom. We went home.

"I believe him. I think he's innocent!" said Addi, tears streaming down her face.

"How can you think that? How dare you think that!" I shouted. "After all he did!"

"I know Remus, but what if we're wrong? I saw him in that courtroom today! He's my twin! I can tell when he's lying! And today, he wasn't lying!"

"Addi, I know you want Sirius to be innocent! So do I. And I want Lily and James and Peter to be alive too, but they can't be! We've got to face reality! And the reality is Sirius killed all of them!"

"No!" Addi shouted. "Why won't you believe me? Why won't you at least consider what I have to say?"

"Because you're wrong! There's evidence! You can't deny the evidence!"

"What if all those people didn't see what they thought they saw?" questioned Addi. "What if it was all a trick?"

"Sirius killed them! That's all there is to it! Now would you please stop trying to convince me other wise! All you're doing is making this harder for both of us!"

"I need to be alone," said Addi quietly. "I can't stay here. I need to think." She walked to the bedroom. After a few seconds I followed. She had a huge trunk open in the center of the room, half of her belongings piled into it.

"Addi?" I whispered. "You can't..."

"I can't stay here! I can't be around you! You won't believe me and I know I'm right! I know I'm right!" She slammed the trunk shut, latched it, and wheeled it out of the room.

"All your doing is fooling yourself! You're living a lie! Believe me, I want Sirius to be innocent too, but he's not! And we can't change that! To go around pretending that he is will do nothing but make you more miserable!"

"Damn it, Remus, I'm not pretending and I'm tired of you never listening to what I have to say! I have nothing now, nothing! I want nothing to do with you!"

"Fine, then in that case, go!" I shouted. "Go on out there and think you're right! See where it ever gets you!" Addi took one last look at me, a pained expression on her face, before turning and walking out the door, closing it behind her. I stood and watched her go. It took a few seconds before the tears began to spill from my cheeks. That was the last I ever saw or heard of Adhara Black.