The tenth grade homeroom was abuzz with the news.
"I'm telling you," said Gerald, "my man Fuzzy Slippers is never wrong. This is going to be one of those super wide screen theaters with surround sound. Just like the one at Dinoland!"
Phoebe Hyerdahl smiled shyly. "The curved shape of the screen and strategic positioning of the speakers create the illusion that you are actually experiencing what is happening on the screen," she said.
"I reckon this fancy schmancy theater is just about the coolest thing since they re-paved the parking lot," added Stinky.
Helga glared at him briefly. "All I can say is, about time something exciting happened in this town."
"So where did you say this theater was going to be?" asked Sid.
Gerald pointed out the window. "Right downtown, past city hall."
Phoebe frowned in consternation. "That seems like a most unlikely location for a theater with such high energy requirements," she said thoughtfully.
"Are you crazy? That's perfect!" shouted Harold. "Just imagine, a reason to actually go downtown."
Phoebe shook her head. "A theater like that requires more than the usual amount of electricity. The multiple sound speakers, the enhanced energy field needed to feed the projection booth, and the proper wiring to integrate everything could potentially create a power surge in the local area."
"What in the heck is that supposed to mean?" Stinky inquired, scratching his head.
"I think she means a Black Out." Harold grinned broadly. "Wow, we haven't had one of those in like…forever! If one happened I'd…"
"You'd what?" Rhonda paused in reapplying her make up to ask.
He thought about it a moment. "I'd…I don't know, but it would be really great!"
Helga rolled her eyes impatiently. "Oh, who cares, Pink Boy? Besides, Pheebs, it's too early for all this brainiac stuff. Come on, let's grab our seats before the Warden gets here," she said, referring to their homeroom teacher.
"Coming," said Phoebe, following her friend to their desks.
The school bell rang at the end of the school day, several hours later. The usual conversation with Phoebe, occasional small argument with Harold, a shove of a kid or two, and Helga was on her way home. She flung the door to her house open and found she wasn't surprised. Instead of being greeted by her parents and sister, she was greeted by noise.
"Big Bob's Beepers, he's the man!
Big Bob sells beepers like no one else can!"
She peeked her head into the family room, where lo and behold, Bob was watching his new beeper commercial.
"Buy them today, buy them now,
Big Bob's Beepers, Holy Cow!"
He sang along, waving his fingers in the air as he did so. "Ah, another great commercial," he mumbled under his breath. Helga scoffed, turning to the kitchen. Miriam had the blender on at the highest speed possible, and was watching her carrots, blue berries, and mushy white tofu blend together into a tan-ish substance.
"That'd better not be dinner," Helga moaned to herself, taking another look at the spinning liquid. Miriam, oblivious to her daughter watching her, loaded the toaster with bread, mumbling something about the new "Health and Wellness" recipe being harder to make then it had seemed. Ascending the stairs, Helga noted another noise, perhaps the worse of them all.
"Still, I guess I'm hopin' for your to stop your mopin'
And get on up and walk up to me..."
Plugging her ears slightly, Helga stood outside of Olga's door, watching with a bit of disgust as she danced around and sang to a song on the radio.
"Keeping my affections and my own introspection
Directed on setting you free."
Olga sang slightly above the notes that the radio artist performed. She spun around a few times, and picked up a brush.
"For Pete's sakes, Olga, can you sing any quieter?" Helga shouted at Olga, who was obviously too into the song to notice.
"So that's why I keep on waitin' while you go on restat---"
Helga shut Olga's door with a satisfying slam, clapping her hands to brush away invisible dust. She then strolled into her own room. Grabbing the pink book that was on her desk and a pen, she sat down cross-legged on her bed. She opened up the book to its first empty page, and sat, pen poised, about to write.
"And I try,
You can't say you've never seen me
from the corner of your eye.
Can I..."
The sound of Miriam's blender still was loud from where she was sitting, and the bass from Olga's radio was still booming away. Bob had evidently turned his TV up to drown out the other two sounds. "How the heck am I supposed to write like this?" Helga groaned, frustrated. Sighing, she put her pen back to the paper.
"Can I come up to you?
And ask you how your day was?
Can you humor me---"
Her pen scrawled out a wavy line after that as she heard Miriam's oven timer go off. It beeped shrilly; did she even know that it was sounding? Growling, Helga picked a pillow up from the head of her bed, and placed it tightly over her ears. She took a deep, calming breath, and tried writing again.
"As I try to find my way
To the corner of your mind
And to the corner of your heart.
The little place where I wa--"
Someone on the TV downstairs screamed at the exact same time that Olga hit a very high note along with her radio. Miriam must have fallen asleep downstairs, because the timer was still beeping away.
"CAN'T EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP?" Helga screamed, frustrated. Only a moment after that, the lights went out.
Helga ran down the steps in the darkness, trying to peer into the shadows for her parents.
"How in the heck am I supposed to watch my commercials if the power decides to go out?" Helga had no doubt Big Bob was frantically waving his arms as he sat in his chair.
Reaching the bottom step, she suddenly tripped and fell onto her face with a loud "Oof!"
Olga jumped over her head then, wailing loudly. "Daddy! Mummy!"
Groaning, Helga sat up.
"Calm down, Olga. Miriam, where are the fuses?"
Miriam bumped into Helga as she made her way to the front door, both toppling down this time. "Sorry, Helga," Miriam muttered quickly, pulling herself up and opening the door.
"Don't tell me we don't have any!" Big Bob hollered; assuming Miriam was going to run to the store.
"No, no, daddy. We have some in the kitchen pantry." Olga squeaked, spinning on her heel to go get them, only ramming straight into Helga and both kissed the carpet.
"Criminy!" Helga shoved her sister off of her. "Don't any of you watch where you're going?"
Olga scrambled up, dusting off her knees. "I'm sorry, baby sister." She said quickly, and made her way to the pantry. "I can't see at all!"
"Actually," Miriam stated over the ruckus from her position by the open door. "I think the whole neighborhood is out."
Startled for a second time that day, Big Bob and Olga came over to peer outside. Helga was rubbing a sore elbow and curling into the corner of the couch, not bothering a glance outdoors. "Great," she muttered.
The others came back in, the door clicking softly shut behind them as the dim lighting outside was shut off. "A black out!" Olga squealed almost with delight. "We haven't had one of those in a while!"
"I'll go get the candles," Miriam piped in, and moved back into the deeper gloom.
"Just think," Olga's voice rose slightly with excitement. "With no electricity to distract us, we can have some family time!"
"Family time? What about my commercials? My meat and potatoes?" Big Bob eased himself back into his chair, promptly propping his chin into his hand while his elbow rested on the chair's arm. "What in the heck am I supposed to eat if there's no power to cook with?"
"We can always toast bread over a candle and use slices of cheese to make grilled cheese sandwiches." Helga said sarcastically, her hands out in front of her as if adding more expression to the words. Big Bob and Olga decided to ignore her.
Miriam came back with a handful of candles, a single one already lit and giving a dim glow to the room. Olga and Big Bob's faces were dull red in the deeper shadows, Miriam's lit in shades of orange and yellow. "I'm sorry, B, but dinner will have to wait until the power comes back." She also set down two flashlights and went off in search of new batteries.
"And how long can that be, daddy? Can't we at least play cards or something?"
Helga snorted from her dark corner. "Oh, no. I am not taking part in some 'family togetherness' card game."
"I can't believe I'm stuck taking part in some 'family togetherness' card game." Helga sighed, collecting the cards Olga was passing to her as she sat down after getting a glass of water.
"Hey, hey, missy. If I have to, so do you," Big Bob grunted. He snatched the card Olga served him not a moment after it hit the table.
"The great logic of the beeper king." She shifted the cards in her hand, matching numbers and colors appropriately.
"What was that?" He snapped as Olga gave the last card to herself, and then placed the unused cards in the middle of the table.
"Nothing," she said with a mock perk.
Miriam looked over at Olga. "Since I'm on your left, I go first?"
"That's right!" She gave her mother a smile, fiddling with her own cards. Three candles were lit between the four of them and Helga had to lean towards Bob in order to see what was in her hand. He looked at her shiftily, and then leaned away thinking she was going to peek at his hand.
Miriam adjusted her glasses. "Well, if you say so dear." Olga flipped the top card, a green three, and sat it next to the deck. Miriam glanced at her cards, and then placed down a red three, feeling slightly proud.
Helga slapped down a "pick up two" red card with a devilish grin at Big Bob.
Her father looked at the rest of them, and then looked at his cards. He then placed down a yellow "pick up two card" and smiled broadly.
"No, no, daddy!" Olga said with a small click of her tongue, removing the yellow card and handing it back to him.
"What? It said the same thing!"
Olga giggled. "No, you have to pick up two cards, and then you can put that one down."
"Why can't I put it down and make you pick up four?" He asked; his voice was tinged with agitation as he pulled the two top cards.
His eldest daughter put a finger to her mouth in thought. "I suppose that would make the game more interesting…but I don't think that's part of Solo's rules."
"Whatever." He slapped down the yellow card again, with half the enthusiasm as before. "Pick up two cards and get on with it."
Olga smiled again, picking up two and then placed a yellow seven down.
Miriam stared at her cards for a minute, chewing her lip.
"Come on, mom!" Helga sighed and then took a sip of water from her glass.
"Okay, okay…but what do I do when I don't have any sevens or yellows?"
Olga leaned over to peer at her mother's cards. She scanned the hand, and then gasped happily. "Use that one!" She pointed to the second to last card.
Miriam blinked, and then set down a black card with a large white 'W'. "Um…what's it mean?"
"It's a wild." Helga explained impatiently. "It means you get to pick a new color."
Her mother looked back at her own hand, paused, and then smiled. "I choose red."
Helga smirked again, slapping down a red card with a large 'R'.
Big Bob looked at it quizzically, and then placed a red five. Olga immediately began to giggle. "No, daddy! That card means "reverse". It's mom's turn now." She took the card off the top and gave it back to her father.
Big Bob growled softly under his breath. He looked at his hand while Miriam placed down a red "one". He noticed how many cards he had compared to the others and frowned, turning to glare at Helga. "You're purposely trying to make me lose, aren't you?" he snapped.
"That's kind of the point, Dad," she chuckled.
"Hey, missy!"
Olga shook her head. "Calm down, daddy. There's plenty of time to win." She looked at her cards and then winced. "I don't have any reds or ones…" Sighing as if placing the next card took a great deal of effort, Olga set down another card with a black background and a large, white, 'W'. Only this card stated, "pick up four" at the top and bottom. "I choose blue. I'm sorry, Daddy, but you'll need to pick up four."
"What!" He roared, slapping his cards to the table and sending a candle toppling over. "What kind of game is this?"
"Daddy!" Olga cried, pointing rapidly. "Your cards are on fire!"
"Oh dear!" Miriam put her hands to her cheeks.
"Mother of Pearl!"
Helga frowned and grabbed her glass. "Calm down you bunch of sissies." She then splashed the water at the fire, putting it out.
Only, she also splashed plenty over her father.
"Now, B…"
Olga sighed; as yet another game attempt had failed. "Well, that sure didn't work," she admitted, as she flopped to the ground in frustration. A board of "Mystery" lay on the center table, pieces and cards strewn all over the place.
Miriam looked from face to face by the light of the candle, pulling at the hem of her shirt as a nervous habit. Helga sunk back into indifference once the last game ended, and Bob began to glance compulsively at the television set, as if at any minute it were due to come on. After a few moments of silence, Olga came up with another idea.
"Uh, I have the perfect idea for a game…Daddy, can you be a dear and hand me that flashlight?" Olga requested as Bob wordlessly reached across the room and handed Olga the flashlight. Olga then leapt and bound into the hallway, where she could be heard rummaging through the coat closet.
Helga raised her eyebrow as she heard the sounds and sunk further into her seat. "Oh great, another one of Olga's ingenious plans for family togetherness. Just what I need," she muttered under her breath, glaring off into the distance.
Within a moment, Olga returned with a board game tucked under her arm. "Mommy, Daddy, remember when I was younger and we always used to play this when it was rainy outside and one of my concerts was cancelled due to the weather?" Olga asked, enthusiastically holding out a game of Scramble for the whole family to see.
This stimulation allowed Miriam, who was beginning to slump again, to perk up. "Oh yes, I sure do honey. Ugh, but it's been so long…I don't think we've played it since Helga was old enough to play with us," Miriam remembered, scooting closer to the corner where Olga sat and laid out the Scramble board.
"Thankfully," Helga murmured, rolling her eyes at the thought of playing Scramble alone with her parents after Olga moved away.
"What was that, sweetie?" Miriam asked of Helga as she helped Olga set up the board.
"Nothing, Mom."
Olga then looked to Helga and Bob, who had not moved from their spots on the couch and who were staring blankly into space. "Oh come on Daddy and Helga, don't be sillies. This game will be fun," Olga coaxed, eventually persuading Bob to join the game, which was being set up on the floor in a corner of the room with candles. "Come on, baby sister, you can sit right here, next to me." Reluctantly, Helga groaned and took a seat next to her sister, who then embraced her tightly before passing the bag of letters and reading the instructions.
The game started out orderly enough, but conditions quickly deteriorated after it wore after the first few minutes.
"B-E-E-P…there we have it…beep. That's 20 points for me," Big Bob said, reaching into the letters bag to supplement the two letters he had used to form the word. Helga, who was in charge of keeping score, held a candle to the Scramble board and looked at the placing of the letters.
"Uh, not so fast, Dad. You can't make that word legally. You have to try again," she said flatly, pointing to the two letters Bob placed.
Bob, who had been progressively losing his patience through the entire game, began a low grumble that could be heard as he spoke. "And why, may I ask, is that not legal?" he asked calmly through his clenched teeth.
Miriam, also noticing Bob's flaw, stepped in. "Well, B, when you put this e down, it made the word 'firee,' which we all know is not a word," she pointed out.
Bob, by this time, was enraged. "Well, how am I supposed to make any decent words with all vowels for crying out loud!"
Helga put down the score pad and held a candle to the board and watched as hot wax dripped upon some of the letters. "Well, I see two places where you could have put two E's, Dad. And it didn't take me thirty minutes to do it, either," Helga jeered spitefully, taking the two letters Bob had placed off of the board and giving them back to him.
"It would help if maybe we had a little more light in here, so maybe I could actually see the board," Bob protested, beginning to develop a whine in his voice. "Man, and to think I could be watching the wheel right now…"
Olga, who had remained silent as she arranged her letters on her game piece, looked to her father. "Now Daddy, you know as well as I do how impossible that is, since the power is out," she commented, chuckling at her father before returning to her letters.
Miriam nodded in agreement. "Yeah, B. According to my book, Living Spiritual, watching television only builds up a perpetual independence on it, and it can only be detrimental to your health," Miriam paraphrased from her book. While Helga looked at Miriam in amazement of what she had just said and Olga smiled pleasantly, it was then Bob's turn to mutter under his breath.
Helga was growing as impatient as her father was. "Why don't you take a pass, Dad, while we're young?"
"Okay, okay. Criminy! I pass," he finally shouted, scooting away from the board and crossing his arms indignantly.
Olga then clapped giddily. "Oh goodie, then, it's my turn," she squealed excitedly, as she began to lay her letters on the board. "There we are…F-I-A-S-C-O." Olga smiled after making the single best move that could be made on the board.
"Fiasco, huh? Is that enough irony for you, Olga?" Helga asked. Olga ignored her as she grinned widely at her word choice.
Miriam leaned forward and counted up the points. "Triple letter on the F, triple word on the whole thing. What does the score add up to, Helga?"
Helga sighed after she calculated the score that Olga had earned for her word. "Enough to put the rest of us out of the game, that's for sure," Helga said, throwing the score pad behind her back and sighing. "Well, game's over. Looks like we can all go back to our normal spots and stare into space until the power comes back and we can get on with our lives," Helga said cynically, returning to her seat.
"Now Helga, don't you want to join me and your sister and father for another game? I'm sure it will be fun," Miriam said enthusiastically, although her enthusiasm had become slightly sour as the night progressed.
Bob got up from the floor and stretched before returning to his seat in front of the television. "I don't know if I can take any more of this myself, on an empty stomach without seeing my commercials in over an hour. I'm with the girl on this one," Bob said, sitting back with Helga on the couch as Miriam and Olga picked up the pieces of the game.
"Oh, don't worry Daddy. You either, baby sister. I'm sure there's something else we can play," Olga said, somewhat disappointed yet still chipper throughout the entire situation. "The night is young and we are still yet to burn out our candles."
Several more games were dug out from under years of dust, and each of which eventually became disasters.
Out of board games, card games, or any other type of boxed family toy, the Patakis sat around the living room in silence again. Miriam's eyelids drooped, threatening a nap. Big Bob was turned from them all, glaring at the TV as if willpower alone would turn it back on. Olga sat chewing her lip on one side of the couch, deep in thought for ideas.
Helga sat on the opposite side, staring into oblivion and wishing she could take a candle and go to her room to write. Big Bob wouldn't let her, saying she wasn't old enough to handle fire without permission, even when she reminded him that she was fifteen. He wouldn't let her take a flashlight either, saying all batteries should be saved…for him, most likely.
Suddenly, Olga leapt from her spot on the couch, slapping a fist into her hand. "I know something else we can do! We can play charades!" she exclaimed. "It would give us all a chance to get closer as a family!"
Helga rolled her eyes. Like Big Bob would ever agree to play charades, she thought.
"I think that is a great idea," Miriam piped up. Her eldest daughter beamed at her.
"Why don't you go first, Olga," Helga said.
As usual, Olga was oblivious to her sibling's sarcasm. "Thanks, Baby Sister," she said. "Let me think of something." She wrinkled her brow in concentration.
After a pause, she smiled. "OK, I have it!"
"Animal, vegetable, or mineral?" asked Miriam.
"That's Twenty Questions, Miriam," Helga pointed out.
Olga smiled at her mother benevolently, and then held up two fingers.
"That's a V," Bob guessed.
Helga slapped herself in the forehead. It was going to be a long night. "No, BOB, that means there are two words."
"Yeah, two words," Bob repeated.
Olga nodded and then held up one finger.
"I thought there were TWO words," Bob complained.
Helga gritted her teeth. "FIRST word," she began.
Olga tapped two fingers on her arm.
"Arm!" Bob said, unwilling to be shown up by his youngest daughter. Olga shook her head and tapped two fingers on her forearm again.
"Fingers!" Bob said, glancing at Helga for confirmation.
Helga sank deeper into the armchair. As far as she was concerned, this game could continue without her.
The game continued like this for some time, with Bob guessing words like skin and shirt before Miriam finally decided to rejoin the game.
"Two syllables," she said firmly.
Olga clapped her hands happily.
Bob scowled in Miriam's direction. Olga was continuing to pantomime something, and Miriam said, "First syllable," followed by "Moon" and then "Second syllable."
Olga gestured to the candle.
"Candle?" said Bob.
"Oh, I get it, light," Miriam said. "Moonlight."
"Light? Light? You call this light? This is not light! This is a nightmare!" Bob roared impatiently.
Olga's eyes started to glisten with unshed tears.
"This is not a nightmare," she sniffled. "This is a chance for us all to get closer -" she began.
"This is STUPID!" Bob yelled.
"I can't believe you won't give this a chance," Olga cried.
"Well how am I supposed to figure this out without any meat and potatoes in my belly!" he roared.
"The beeper king has spoken," Helga pushed herself out of the chair. She then walked towards the stairs.
"Where do you think you're going, missy?" her father asked.
Helga turned and graced him with a cold look before climbing the stairs to her bedroom.
"Baby sister?" whispered Olga. She turned to face her parents. "Mommy, Daddy, I can't believe you don't think this is a special time for families to try and bond- " she broke off as she ran out of the room crying.
"Oh for cryin' out loud," Bob said in exasperation. "Miriam, isn't there anything to eat in this house?"
As Helga made it to the top of the steps, she heard her mother ask, "B, what was the last word?" just before he stomped out of the room and headed for the kitchen.
Furious and agitated, Big Bob grabbed the counter's edge and leaned against it. He stared, unseeing, at the plugged in blender with the tan liquid, water settling at top due to the fact it had been left standing. The button for blending was still depressed and he grit his teeth at it. The day's events had been insane, and his family was driving him down the same road.
He paused as a thought came to mind. Then a slow smile spread his lips. "What if I came home from work one day, and they were gone? Heh..."
In his mind's eye, he could see himself in front of the TV, a schedule in one hand, and a remote in the other. He looked down at the paper, studying it carefully. "All right, so my commercial's playing in two minutes on channel five, then five minutes later on channel eight... What am I waiting for?" He flipped on the TV to channel five with a smile on his face. The sound didn't have to be turned up to loud, as it wasn't competing with Miriam making dinner or any of the girls making any noise up in their rooms. The opening strings to his commercial played, and a row of ladies in red and orange body suits came on screen, huge smiles plastered onto their made up faces.
"Big Bob's Beepers, he's the man!
Big Bob sells beepers like no one else can!
Buy them today, buy them now,
Big Bob's Beepers, Holy Cow!"
They all looked down in unison at the beepers that were strapped to their sides as they began to ring. They then looked back up, cheesy smiles still intact. "Big Bob's Beepers!"
Bob smiled to himself, mentally patting himself on the back for thinking up such a great commercial. Okay, so maybe he didn't write it or stage it, but it was about him, and he paid for it. Looking back down at his schedule, he flipped to the next channel on the list.
This went on for about an hour, and the jingle he thought he could never get enough of was grating on his nerves. He threw the channel changer against the wall, and the TV mercifully turned off. "Well," he thought to himself, "There's plenty more things I can do without the ladies here to bother me." Just then, his stomach rumbled. "Oh, mother of pearl! How the heck am I supposed to get any grub around here?!" he groaned. "The Beeper King NEEDS, no, REQUIRES his meat and potatoes!"
Harold, Sid, and Stinky met each other in the park, grinning like maniacs. "The power is out! Boy howdy, this hasn't happened since that incident with Eugene when we visited the power company on a school field trip!" Sid readjusted his cap as he said this, sweating a little from the run.
"Oh man, that was so funny!" Harold cackled. As soon as the lights had gone out, all three had called each other with plans in mind.
Stinky laughed as well. "His hair was sticking up straight fer a week!"
"Man…" Sid sighed, leaning against a tree. "So what do we do now?"
"I dunno," Harold said, sitting on the ground and fiddling with a few blades of grass.
Stinky still towered over them, leaving heavy, dark shadows in the dim light the sunset provided. "Well, fellers, I got an idea…"
"What, go to Slaucen's? I'm kind of hungry," Harold whined and held his stomach.
"Nah!" Stinky took his hands out from behind his back, two large packs of twelve toilet paper rolls each dangling from his fingers. "I think we ought to raze the neighborhood."
The other two hopped to attention, cheering loudly.
"And I have the perfect house in mind…" Harold said, grinning.
Sitting alone in what had been the wreckage of family togetherness, Miriam, in her newly found meditative state, began to imagine what life would be like without her family.
Miriam then found herself lounging in an outdoor hot tub with a glass of lemonade and smooth jazz playing in the background under a starry sky in the light of the moon. She was instantly soothed by the sounds of the music and the mood of the landscape, basking in the air bubbles from the Jacuzzi and bathing in her own beauty in the light of the moon. She giggled girlishly to herself as she sat and watched the moisture on her lashes drip from her eyes from the tub. She sat in idleness for a little while longer before she finally spoke.
"Ah, without Bob and the girls, I am finally allowed peace and relaxation. Ah, it feels so good to unwind," she sighed, letting herself sink deeper into the tub. As if waiting for a response, she paused a little before she laughed quietly to herself and continued talking. "You know, now, there are so many things that I can do, by myself, that I could never do before. Like…" Miriam began, trying to think of what new and exciting things she would do by herself.
"Well, there was always helping B and the Beeper Emporium…well, that's no good," she said, realizing that this was not a task that she could do alone. "I always wanted to visit Olga in…no. Well, there was that time I wanted to make a dress for Helga when she gets…oh no." Miriam paused because she realized that, outside of her family, there was nothing else she'd rather do, nowhere else she'd rather be, at the moment.
"And…wait a minute, who exactly am I talking to here?" she asked. She waited for a response, but none ever came. "Wow…without them, no one listens to me," she concluded, getting out of the Jacuzzi and making her way to the back door of her house. She turned at the doorknob, but it wouldn't turn. "Hmm…don't have a key to the house, either," she realized, and then proceeded to knock and yell loudly at the door…
Then, she came out of her meditative state and returned to reality, where she was still sitting in a circle of candles with pieces of old games all over the floor and her family scattered in different parts of the house. She realized then that though she really would rather go off into her own fantasy world and rest away from her family, they were too big a part of her life to avoid.
"Finally!" Helga huffed, once up in her room. She moved her pink book off of the bed and fell onto the sheets. She stared through the darkness to the ceiling in thought. "Wonder how the boarding house is handling all this."
Grandpa held a flashlight under his protruding chin, his eyes lit brightly compared to the shadows. "And then, when Captain James of Spaceship MARS 2000 looked behind him…" He said in a low tone, his free hand sprawled out towards the boarders as they listened with their breaths held. "A hand came from the darkness and grabbed him!" His hand snapped out as fast as his old muscles would let him. His fingers curled slowly together, popping a few times like elderly joints do.
The boarders gasped loudly, Oscar hugging a stuffed animal. "And what happened then, Grandpa?" He asked, twisting the poor stuffed creature.
"Well, he…you know…"
"My word…what happens?" Mr. Simmons asked, wringing his hands.
"He kicked the bucket and bought the farm!" Grandma chirped suddenly, not helping the spooky image any by appearing through the darkness behind Grandpa in Knight's armor and a large, stained axe. Her eyes glittered dangerously in the meager light the flashlight provided. "Dinner is served!" And she placed a large platter of watermelon in the middle of the table. Grandpa and the rest of the boarders groaned loudly.
"Oh…Pookie…"
"Eat up, Slim. Tomorrow the neighboring kingdom looks to take ours…prepare for battle at dawn!" Cackling, she moved back into the dim kitchen that flickered a dull red from a single candle.
Grandpa held his protesting stomach, the flashlight making the watermelon glisten as he focused on it. "Oh…"
Oscar dove right in, but spoke around a mouthful much to Suzie's exasperation. "So, Grandpa…what happened to Spaceman James, Captain of the Spaceship MARS 2000…?"
Shaking her head, Helga decided they were probably blaming the power outage on the fuses in the basement and grandpa was most likely furiously changing each one, the boarders complaining about the dark.
"Peace and quiet," She murmured to herself. "If only it could be like this ALL the time." Closing her eyes, she imagined what it would be like.
She could just see it. Home alone. No one to bother her while she was trying to write poems or letters to her beloved, no one to annoy her while she was trying to do her homework. No more being called by the wrong name and getting Bob his sodas. In her dream, she looked around her room. With no worries of anyone intruding on the privacy of her room, her Arnold collection had come out of the closet. His school pictures lined the walls, drawings of him pinned up around the windows. Her pink books stood out proudly on her desk, a purple pen marking the place where she should write next. With a wide grin, she snatched up the book and the poems began to flow out of her without distraction. But all too soon, she had run out of space in her book.
"Oh great." She moaned to herself, "And no money to get a new one. Well, I can just mooch off of Miriam..." she trailed off. That was right, she wasn't there in this dream. "Now what can I do?" she asked herself as she lay on top of her bed. The silence that she had so adored before was now awful. Maybe constant peace and quiet wasn't all it cracked up to be?
Winding one of the smaller rolls between the pickets of a fence, Sid looked up at the progress of the house. Harold and Stinky were busy tossing rolls over the tree. Several sheets decorated the stoop and trailed about the yard. Four lines lead to the backyard that was twice as bad, almost completely white.
"Man, I hope it rains tonight," Harold cackled as he threw the roll over the top of the tree and back towards Stinky.
His tall friend laughed. "I know. It always gets all mushy and it's so dang hard to clean up.''
"Yeah, it turns into little tiny clumps," Sid stated, wrapping the last of the roll heavily at the last support pole, placing the cardboard role on one of the pointed tips.
"I got another four packages saved up in the attic at home," Stinky informed them as they grabbed the last four rolls.
Sid looked at him strange, taking one of the rolls. "Why do you have so many?"
"I bought them all some weeks ago, was stocking up for Halloween," Stinky drawled, unwrapping the first layer of sheets.
Harold held two, laughing as they both bounced to the ground. "That's a great idea! I'll start buying extra and saving up with the money I get for working for Mr. Green."
"Really? Boy howdy, this Halloween is going to be great!"
"Hey!" came a man's voice. The three boys yelped and made a run for it.
Olga sat in her room, crying. Her hands were pressed to her face as the tears dripped between her fingers and she had no doubt her mascara was running. She really should get some waterproof make up.
Sniffling, she looked to the ceiling. "Why can't they at least once try to work together a family? To bond and grow as one!" She stood, rivers still streaming over her cheeks. Her hands flailed dramatically in the air as she spoke. "Daddy, and Mummy, and Baby Sister…they don't even really try!"
She sat back down, falling back onto her bed as her lower lip trembled.
Then…dare she think it…what if she moved far away and they didn't know about it? What if she broke off from her family? What if she tried to make it on her own?
She could do it, she knew she could.
With another sniff, she closed her eyes and imagined a life without her family.
The lights were bright and hot and she opened her eyes to the crowd before her. She had been playing Violetta in "La Traviata". The curtains rose after the play ended and Olga stood in front of the rest of the crew members, bowing extravagantly as if she had stolen the show with her incredible talent.
There was a standing ovation. Several people in the audience still had tears in their eyes from the dramatic ending of her death scene at her lover, Alfredo's, feet.
Blowing kisses, she and the rest of the stage members disappeared behind the falling curtain and she pranced off towards her dressing room. Suddenly, the Director, Steve Viksten, stopped her. "Olga, my dear. A word?"
"Why, certainly!"
He stared at her momentarily, as if the what he was going to say was difficult. "Olga…you are a very talented actress…"
"Why, thank you Mr. Viksten!"
"…But I'm afraid this was your last stage performance under my direction."
She gasped, her hands to her mouth. "You're leaving us? Oh, Mr. Viksten! You were a wonderful director and we'll be sure to miss you-"
He frowned at her. "Olga, you're the one leaving, not me."
She stared, shocked. Slowly, tears welled up in the actress's eyes. "But…why?"
He sighed, holding his clipboard to his side. "You see, as I've said, you're a wonderful actress…but we have others who deserve places on stage. You steal the show from all the others, leaving even the best of them unrecognized, and yet you're going nowhere. It's as other directors are afraid you're at the top of your game now, and it'll be all downhill from here. Still, the others deserve their chances and…I'm sorry, Olga." He reached to put a hand on her shoulder, but she burst into full-fledged tears and ran to her dressing room.
Later, she drove home with the small box of her belongings next to her. She left, hearing Mr. Viksten assure her there were plenty of other positions open. Reaching the apartment building she lived in, she used a key to open the front doors, and then made her way up the steps, box tucked under arm. Olga then opened her apartment and was startled to find a note had been shoved under her door. Curious, she set the box aside and picked it up. Flipping it open, her face fell as she read the words.
The apartment owner, Tuck Tucker, was at his desk when Olga came flying in, mascara smearing down her face at full force. "Sir!" she cried, but he held a hand up to stop her.
"I don't want to hear it, Olga. You haven't paid me your full rent in three months."
"But, Mr. Tucker, I had to buy…"
He flipped open the newspaper, leaning back in his chair with one leg crossed over the other, not even bothering to look at her. "Look, I understand you find your career very important, but I find my own career just as important. You either pay what you owe as well as this month's rent by the thirtieth, or you're out, Olga."
Trudging back to what would soon no longer her place, she sniffled and rubbed one arm with one of her hands, her mind tumbled over itself. "Wait!" She suddenly perked and ran into her apartment, snatching the phone. "I'll call mummy and daddy and ask for help!"
But she stared at the receiver, remembering she was no longer a part of their lives.
As well as the fact her phone was dead, she hadn't paid that bill either.
Come to think of it, she missed her Baby Sister too. She might have kept her from getting into this mess in the first place.
Olga opened her eyes, her lower lip still in the pouting position.
She could never be without her family.
Helga stood alone in the middle of the dark family room. "What, am I going to be the only mature person in this whole household?" she mumbled to herself, crossing her arms. She turned as she heard some sniffling.
Sure enough, Olga had come down from her room. "Oh, Baby Sister!" She exclaimed through a stuffy nose and bleary, tear and mascara stained eyes. "I'm so sorry!" She scooped up her beloved sister into a bone-crushing hug.
"I'm sorry too, girls." Miriam had walked into the room. "We all need to, um, come together in times like this."
"Your mother's right." Bob said from the doorway. They all shared knowing smiles.
A loud, clicking sound was heard, and suddenly light flooded the room. The TV popped back on with a snap, and the blender with a whirr. From upstairs, Olga's radio was blasting another teenybopper song. Miriam left the room slowly, mumbling something about salvaging dinner. Bob gravitated back to the TV, and Helga inched her way out of Olga's hug. "This moment never happened." She told her sister.
Just another day in the Pataki household.
As the family once again went off into their own directions, Helga left the house much the same as she had entered it earlier that evening…unnoticed. She sighed and smirked slightly as she closed the door behind her and descended the steps of her porch, as she was still able to hear her father's beeper commercial, Olga in her room listening to her "happy" music, and Miriam working full blast with the kitchen appliances. Under her arm, appropriately, were her current notebook and a pen, and she walked down the familiar sidewalk towards the bright lights further into the town.
While she strolled with no certain destination in mind, she noticed Sid, Harold, and Stinky running from a strangely familiar man. Their arms flailed as they screamed, toilet paper rolls flying from their outstretched fingers. A stream of sheets airborne from around their arms, shoulders, and legs. Sid even had a square stuck to one of his boots. Apparently some of her fellow classmates had taken advantage of the blackout for pranks.
Helga also passed the boarding house. The lights were still out and she paused in curiosity, wondering if one of their fuses had blown. After a moment, several screams were heard and then Grandpa's cackling.
Ah…an old-fashioned story telling.
Helga decided to press on down the streets, passing a few others she recognized but paid no mind to.
Her mind momentarily left the manners of the home and any other goings on that might have occurred, as it was all overwhelmed by the sound of jazz playing loud from the lobby of the new movie theater that could be heard several blocks away. After a brief intermission by Nocturnal Ned to introduce the next piece, the music occupied her mind more than it had before.
She rounded the corner, following the music, down the familiar curves and bends of her neighborhood, and closed her eyes, letting the music be her guide. She sighed heavily as she walked along, releasing the tension of that day and her ordeal with her family. Then, she opened her eyes and found herself at the Movie Theater, lights blaring brightly and music now louder than ever. At the ticket booth, she purchased a ticket for "Bride of Evil Twin," bought a bag of popcorn, and took her seat in the back row of the air-conditioned theater, leaning her head against the wall.
It was dark when she finally came home. Miriam was asleep on the couch, Big Bob still watching some late night game show. "Oh, for crying out loud! How could you get that wrong?"
Ignoring him, she went upstairs. Olga's door was closed and her music was playing at a lower volume, though she was undoubtedly still prancing about, considering light filtered beneath the small crack.
Turning the cool knob, she went into her room. The sound was dulled inside and she sighed with relief. Making her way to her closet, she smiled at the wooden carving she was trying to make of her beloved. She had decided to give her latest project a rest for a while when the carving tools kept slipping and leaving marks on her fingers. Didn't want anyone getting crazy ideas, after all.
Two books cases were inside, filled to the brim with books of poems. She kept a small statue of her beloved, in whatever was the current medium, near the only other empty wall. Pictures and several things related to her strange-headed muse lined any empty spaces. Carefully, she pulled a small stepladder from behind several hanging outfits, mostly things she'd never wear.
She kicked it open and placed it in the middle of the closet. First, she grabbed a binder full of blank sheets for letters. Then, cautiously, she climbed up the stepladder and popped a small square aside in the ceiling and then scrambled up into the attic.
She had installed several moving lights similar to those in Arnold's old room. She had studied the wiring closely there, and incorporated much the same tactics to her shrine. Why not? It added to the effect that everything here was dedicated to him. So she pulled a similar remote from a small nearby shelf and flicked the lights on. They moved to center on a large statue that she had been adding onto and changing since she was nine. Smiling, she sat amongst her vast collection of worshiped items and pulled her binder into her lap.
Helga clicked her purple pen so the tip poked out and the words flowed easily onto the first blank sheet.
"Dear Arnold,
Today was certainly exciting. The power went out and Olga tried her usual 'Family Togetherness' practices. I'll save you most of the details, but I'm sure you remember my family and how things work with them.
Or how things don't work…
Sid, Harold, and Stinky had apparently toilet papered someone's house and were each fined a few pretty pennies and had to help clean the guy's yard. They had gotten away from him when they ran…but he knew them.
Old Principal Wartz, remember him? They toilet papered his house! Heh, I guess some things never change.
As for the new movie place, even I must admit that I'm impressed. Turns out Phoebe was just paranoid about the power. Nobody said she was an electrician, just smart. All that had happened is since the new theatre's opening day had been rushed, not all the wires had been checked and when the place began to run full force, a couple wires shorted and then fried the nearby transformer.
Needless to say, The Patakis didn't learn a single lesson and all as it was.
Oh! And your grandpa scared the living daylights out of everyone at the boardinghouse with one of his tall tales. Ever heard of Captain James of the Spaceship MARS 2000?"
Helga Pataki
"P.S. 'Bride of Evil Twin' wasn't half bad, what do you think, football head?"
Written By: Old Betsy
Edited By: The Five Avengers
Directed By: Nicole K.
Produced By: Nicole K.
Based on characters created by Craig Bartlett
Most characters are privately owned by such parties as Nickelodeon, Viacom, etc. and are used without permission, but not without respect.