TITLE: "A Fascinating Display of Architecture," Part Two of Cornerstones of Confusion
AUTHOR: Barb
RATING: PG - some minor language, again. Pardon my francais. And this time - some sexual innuendo, baby!
SPOILERS: More for the finale episode. Also - for the story that came before this, duh.
SUMMARY: Rory comes back from talking with Luke and finds her mother in a talkative mood. Does that surprise anybody? Mother/daughter chattiness commences and Lorelai grows an affinity for a piece of wood. Believe me, it will all make sense in a little while.
FEEDBACK: brenna_mairi@yahoo.com - use it, come on! I know you're just that crazy to talk to me.
DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine. They belong to television bigwigs and the creative powers that be. Just get over it, Barb, and get a hold of yourself!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I want to take this moment to give credit where credit is due. In this story - I was inspired myself by a friend of mine. My friend, Kate S, said this line in an email she wrote to me and I decided it was too good not to steal. "That sentence was very structurally fragile. Please don't poke it. It might fall over." Do you blame me? Also - mucho, mucho gratitude to my friend, Laura, for her guidance and encouragement! You da best!
Enjoy!
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My daughter left me.
My young offspring to whom I gave life and continue to breathe life into each and everyday, walked out of the door and left me with these crummy brownie crumbs.
I've been sitting here playing rummy for approximately 40 minutes or so because I need to keep my mind operating in a way that doesn't allow for extraneous thought.
It's pretty hard, you know - playing a four person game of rummy all by your lonesome. With my memory it makes it easy to "independently" think for each separate player. I'm sure that if anyone ever found out about this I would be thrown into a strait jacket for having multiple personalities.
Hum, look at that empty plate that once held some exhilarating brownies. Might as well lick it clean. No Emily in sight to scold me and swat my head.
Yum. Not bad. I should do the "responsible adult" thing and put this dish in the washer.
La de da de do. Rinse off. Put in washer. Wait 4 or 5 days until I remember to turn this thing on. Good. Done.
You know? When I think, it's less funny then when I speak. That's probably why I talk all the time - I can't stand the sound of my thoughts.
"Where is my life force?!"
Arg.
If Rory's not here then I'm not talking and if I'm not talking then I'm thinking and if I'm thinking then I'll tell myself that I should call Max and if I call Max then I won't think that's enough and I'll want to see his face while talking to him because there's less enjoyment talking to a hard plastic stick-thingy than to an actual human being and I'll invite him over or go over to his place and push comes to shove I'm back to not talking again and not talking is bad.
That sentence was very structurally fragile. Please don't poke it. It might fall over.
Damn. I need to take a breath. Maybe Luke is right. Medical attention might be highly appropriate in my case.
That's it! I'll call Luke! Bothering Luke is almost as thrilling as relishing a cup of his mighty fine java. Oh, who am I kidding? It's not even close. But - it would keep me talking! And that's a good thing!
No. Look at the time, silly. It's past ten already; he won't be at The Coffee Shop. Do I have his home phone number? I must have - he's on Rory's emergency contact list for school. I must have weaseled it out of him. I'm so good at that. I should get a medal.
Forget it. It's been almost an hour; Rory should be home soon.
Right?
Maybe I should have gone with her. Fresh air might be a good thing for an oxygen deprived person such as myself.
Oh! Oh - she's home. I see her coming up the driveway. Quick. Have to do something ridiculous so she'll want to stay up and talk to me instead of hitting the sack.
Phone. Grab phone. HahaHA... I'll frighten her into hilarious bouts of laughter.
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Rory sees her house and stands for a moment in the street. She wonders about what her life has been like in that house. That beautiful, normal looking house that deceives the world about what exactly it contains.
Two young women, completely and utterly insane.
She then thinks about how she can't avoid the changes that are about to take place. This house will feel different. Someday. She knows it eventually has to happen. Her mom will get married. They'll be three people in this house. Maybe it won't even be this house. That's an unsettling thought for Rory.
As she walks up the driveway she makes the conscious choice to push away those thoughts. Their time will come. For now, she's content to think solely about Dean. "Content" is not a strong enough word.
Dean. The mere thought elicits a sigh.
She does one more twirl just for the heck of it before she gets to her door. Rory enters her house with a smile, but that swiftly changes as she hears her mother's voice float around the corner from the living room.
"Oh Max! Max you shouldn't say such things, you're being a very naughty boy. What am *I* wearing?! Well I'll..."
"MOM!!"
"RORY!"
Lorelai is huddled up on the couch with a blanket over her. She looks at her daughter using her "oh-my-God-I'm-stunned-beyond-belief" look.
Rory just stands there, mouth open wide and eyes open wider.
Lorelai clears her throat and plasters on her award-winning smile.
"Um... hey, how was your walk?"
Still unable to speak or move, Rory continues to stare. This surprises Lorelai. She thought she'd be at the top of the stairs, possibly slamming her bedroom door, maybe even jumping out of the window by now.
She gets up and takes advantage of her scared silly youngling. "Why don't you say hi to Max? He's actually been dying to talk to you lately..."
"Good God Mom, NO!" This gets things moving as Rory backs off and changes her eyes from "open wider" to "let's stop that before your eyeballs have nothing left to hold them in and they just roll onto the floor."
"Oh come on! Maybe you can even call him "daddy" and scare the living crap out of him! It'll be fun!"
"Are you serious?!"
"Am I ever?!"
And before Rory can escape her mother's clutches, Lorelai shoves the phone up to her ear so she could hear the static.
"He's not there."
"Of course he's not, silly! What you must think of me that you would actually *believe* I would do such a stupid thing!"
"Do you want me to list the ways with which you make it very possible you would be that crazy?"
"Well. No. But..." There's that "I want to thank the Academy" smile again, but this time it's brought about by actual giddiness, not mock horror. "It's just my truly original way to make you stay up and talk with me."
"*That* was supposed to get me to *want* to talk to you?"
"Yep. Did it work?"
"Sure. But only because I received about 78% of your 'crazy genes.'"
"Good enough for me."
The pair take a seat on the couch and Lorelai throws the phone on the table.
"So. How was your walk?"
"Walk was good."
"Walk was good? Good."
"How was sitting here?"
"Sitting was good."
"Good."
"I'm lying. It sucked. You left me all alone!" Lorelai ended that sentence with a drawn out moan, quite irritating if you ask me - or Rory.
"But you said you *wanted* to stay."
"I know. I know, but now was completely not the time to leave me to my thoughts."
"How was I supposed to know that?"
"Because you came from my womb! You should have that already established 'daughter's sixth sense' thing."
"Mom. I don't see dead people."
"Well that's a relief."
"I *do* see hazy-eyed drunk men after nine o'clock at The Coffee Shop, though."
"What? You talked to a drunk man? Do I teach you anything?"
"Let me clarify that. First off, I said I 'saw' a drunk man, not 'talked to' a drunk man. Don't jump to conclusions. And second, I should have said, 'I see hazy-eyed drunk Lukes after nine o'clock at The Coffee Shop."
"Luke?! So you *saw* that Luke was drunk?"
"Actually, I talked to Luke, who was drunk."
"But you said..."
"I know. That still doesn't mean you should jump to conclusions."
"Alright. Alright. So what happened? What's wrong?" Lorelai leaned in closer to her daughter, grabbing her shoulder and piercing her with worried eyes.
"Nothing a hangover won't cure tomorrow I'm sure."
"Not physically, emotionally. Why was he so upset?"
"Oh Mom, upset is too nice of a word..." Rory paused for effect. "He was drinking margaritas."
*GASP* Lorelai was shocked. Obviously.
"That's not manly!"
"I know!"
"Was he also wearing a skirt?"
"Woah, Mom. How did you know?"
Lorelai's eyes bugged out. "Wh-huh?!"
Rory shakes her head in shame.
"Oh you... you... just get to the point."
"Well I don't know how much I should tell you. I mean, it was kind of personal... "
"And how would that be an obstacle when it comes to me getting information?"
"Alright. I did most of the talking anyway. He mostly just grunted. And stuttered."
"Does alcohol have *any* effect on this man," Lorelai asked herself.
"I think he was upset over Rachel leaving."
"Oh. Wow. Really?"
"Yeah. He said he thinks he might love her."
"Love her?"
Lorelai sits back all of a sudden and gets this "huh" face like when Rory told her that Gilligan's Island was indeed a huge flop when it first ran on primetime television and only in reruns did it gain any sort of popularity. This baffled Lorelai's mind. It was like her whole world turned inside out. Ok maybe that was a bad example - but it's the closest thing that compares to this face that she's making at this very moment while Rory looks at her, wondering.
"Mom? You ok?"
Lorelai then made one of her more unflattering faces, which are rare, and scrunched up her nose. "Of course. Where did that question come from?"
"Well, you just started staring at the mantle like it was the most intriguing piece of architecture ever designed."
Lorelai flung her hand about and waved off her daughter's insinuation that a certain revelation about a certain man who was just a friend would cause any sort of disturbance in the way she saw the world.
"I'm just... surprised, that's all. I mean... Luke didn't seem that upset when he told me. He just came right out and said 'So Rachel left' like it was a normal conversation topic."
"Did you *ask* him if he was ok about it?"
"Well, no. But that was because things got a little hectic right then. Max came in and I had to... do you think I should go talk to him?"
"Max?"
"No - Luke."
"If he felt weird talking to me do you honestly think he'd be all hunky-dory pouring his heart out to *you*?"
"Good point. How did this discussion turn to Luke anyway?! I wanted to gush over Max!"
"Sorry. It was my fault."
"No, no. So he was really torn up, huh?"
"Yeah. I've never seen him so down and depressed and that's a lot to say for a man who hates Christmas and gets miffed when anything cheerful comes within ten feet of him."
"Couldn't have said it better myself."
"So - tell me more about Max? Any feelings and/or thoughts change since I left?"
"Actually - I tried very hard to shut out any and all thoughts while you were gone. Didn't want to spoil them on myself. But - It's late anyway. We should get to bed."
"Ok." Rory was about to get up and saw that her mother wasn't doing the same. Lorelai sat there staring at the mantle again.
"Are you sure you're ok?"
"What? Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be up in a minute."
"Ok. Oh and Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"Please promise me you won't breathe a word of this to Luke. Not like he'll remember anything we talked about or that I was even there... or that *he* was even there but..."
"Alright! Alright - I understand. No words shall be speaketh out of meeth about margaritas or loneliness, happy?"
"Not entirely. I know you - you might try to skirt around those rules and 'help Luke out' by being extra nice to him or asking 'nonchalantly' about how he's feeling..."
"Hey, can I help it if I'm an extraordinarily caring person?"
"You can help keep my trust and respect if you just let this remain between us."
"Alright. You win. I won't even look at him for the next three days."
"Alright. Oh and I allot you 45 minutes tomorrow tonight to gush all you want - we'll take the phones off the hook, lock the doors, and post guard dogs at all corners of the house. Sound good?"
"Sounds great, sweetie." She looks up at Rory and gives her a quick smile. "G'night."
"Night." Rory bends down and kisses her mom before she heads upstairs. She takes one last look at Lorelai, who is taking a deep breath and letting her head fall slightly to one side.
Lorelai doesn't realize she's looking at the mantle. Again.
Why am I so worried about Luke? What is this? I should just snap out of this whacked place I'm in right now and realize that he's going to be fine and that I'm going to be fine because - guess what - I have a man that loves me.
Max is wonderful. Max is beyond wonderful - he's as close to perfect as any gal can get and I got it.
She then gets up clean up some of the mess she left in the kitchen. On her way there she spots Bert.
"Hey Bert!" She pats his cute metal head.
Luke infuriates me. I mean, Bert's cute and all, but let's try to keep your head on straight, Lukey. I'll have to remember to get that back to him... before there are anymore flagrant displays of cave-man tendencies.
Lorelai begins to wash some dishes and put things back in the refridgerator.
What the hell was that all about, anyways? When did Luke start getting all protective on my ass? Maybe that's not the best choice of words...I know he thinks highly of Rory and me, but seriously - that was a bit much. Getting Dean into a headlock - now *that* was uncalled for as well, but very, very hilarious. And adorable, in a weird, twisted, Luke-ish way. Thumping his chest and throwing the evil eye towards my possibly-in-the-near-future-fiance is a whole other story.
One I'm very curious to hear, but one I feel should be left alone. At least for now.
And what was with that "I'll always be around" Terminator threat? He's probably just taking on the roll of "big, burly, 'I'll-kick-your-ass,' brother." Yeah. That's it. Of course that's *it* - why am I saying probably?
And why the HELL am I not thinking about Max right now?!
I need sleep. Need as in "I NEED coffee." It's that imperative.
Lorelai heads upstairs to go to bed.
She dreams of Max trying to run Luke over with his car, but Luke just stops it with his hand, "Superman-style." Lorelai runs out in the street to yell at Max. She wanders up to the car and is shocked to discover Max wearing some very Stevie Wonder-esque sunglasses. She instinctively realizes that Max is blind and didn't see Luke standing there. There's also a purple iguana in the back seat of his car. She has no idea why it's there, so don't ask. Luke walks away from the scene, looking back at Lorelai with a glass of margarita in his hand. Lorelai smiles and doesn't know why.
Next thing she knows, she's in a roller coaster with Rory and they're screaming at the top of their lungs. They're in the front seat and Lorelai notices that the coaster is designed to be a ridiculously laughable purple iguana.
Needless to say, Lorelai had a lot of early morning conversation for Rory to try to decipher.
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Finito!
Feedback is a highly pleasurably experience - I recommend it for all. Again - utmost thank yous for taking the time to read my story and maybe, just maybe - liking it!