TITLE: "The Good, The Bad, and the In Between" Part Four of Cornerstones of Confusion
AUTHOR: Barb
Stars Hollow was shining.
It was shining brightly because the sun was out and it was very, very bright. But for Lorelai Gilmore, Stars Hollow was shining because of something else. It was shining because of magic. The magic that comes along with being in love.
The trees were greener. The sky was bluer. The birds were less annoying. Everything with the world was amplified to a better state of being.
When did this world get so majestic and exuberant, you ask? Well…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm going to say yes."
"You are?!"
"Yes." Lorelai was beaming at her daughter.
Rory smiled, but she doubted her own feelings. She didn't quite know what to say. She's been saying to herself and to her mother time and time again that she's ok with this. That her mom marrying Max was a good thing as long as it made her mother happy. I mean, they were both realistic about this - no matter who her mom marries or when she gets married, it's going to be a difficult transition for Rory. It just has to be one that they can deal with together. Rory's not sure if there will ever be the right person or the right time for this.
Rory opens her mouth to say something along the lines of "that's great" or "this is so exciting," but ends up taking a deep breath and reverting back to her silent smile. Lorelai's own happy face falls when she gets the "I-have-no-idea-what-to-say-or-do" vibe from Rory.
"Rory? Honey? If there's something you want to discuss with me, then you know I am more than willing to put all of this on hold and hear you out…"
"I know. And, Mom, don't think I'm not happy, because I *am* happy… I'm…"
"Let's not use words that don't accurately describe the situation, ok? You're not happy - that's *ok*. I really didn't expect you to be jumping off the walls anyway."
"It's just…"
"This is a *big* deal, I know. I'm making a decision that would essentially completely turn our lives upside down, but since when have we not welcomed a little adventure in our lives?"
"Since the moment I realized that 'adventure' with you means partaking in extremely bizarre situations that rival even those of the Addams Family."
They both laugh at this, enjoying the fact that they can make light of any sticky situation. A little balance is all it takes.
"Max as Gomez sounds a little frightening, but very realistic."
"Ewwwwww!" Lorelai squeals and makes a face. "Gomez always creeped me out with the arm kissing."
They laugh and Lorelai gets a contemplative look on her face. "Luke would probably be Lurch."
"What does Luke have to do with anything?" Rory asks, confused.
"Um, nothing," Lorelai stumbles, frowning. "It just occurred to me that Luke would make a good Lurch, that's all. Can't you just see him scowling at everyone that enters? Not to mention - he'd win a blue ribbon in 'grunting' anyday."
The girls laugh at the thought.
Then, they sit for a few seconds in silence and let the seriousness seep into their systems again before starting up the conversation.
"You are my *life,* Rory, and I will not go about changing you in ways you do not want to be changed."
"I am going to say something and I want you to not say a word throughout the entire thing until I say it's ok."
Lorelai nods, already putting the agreement into effect.
"Ok. Mom - I love you."
Lorelai smiles as if to say, "I love you, too, sweetie." She's an expert at communication - all kinds. And her facial expressions are taking an active part in this conversation.
"You should never, at any time in your entire life, doubt how much you made me into the person that I am."
Lorelai looks at her daughter, emoting the statement; "I could not be more pleased and proud to have a daughter like you."
"So take this as some advice from one Lorelai to another - for once, just think about yourself."
Lorelai gives a "huh?" look with her eyes.
"Stop using me as an excuse to put on hold all of the things you want out of life. I'm strong - with you as a mother, how could I not be?"
Lorelai makes a face that says, "Well, you have a point there…"
"Here's some honesty for you - I don't know exactly *what* to think about you marrying Max. I don't know how it will be having him as a … well, a… something different than what he is now."
Lorelai's mouth goes into a pout that reads, "Yeah. That will be kind of weird, won't it?"
"It will probably be weird. Very weird. It will probably also be a little uncomfortable at first, and strange and … and awkward… and frightening at times. But I don't see that as anything new in this household."
"Ha," Lorelai mouths without verbalizing.
"Seriously - it won't be all fairy tale dust and daisies around here. But - we're Gilmores. And I think that is enough to give me the confidence that we could survive whatever is about to happen."
Mother and daughter look at one another, coming to grips with the idea of their deteriorated twosome.
"Ok," Rory says. After her mother continues to remain silent, Rory decides to elaborate. "It's ok to speak now."
"Oh. I did good, don't you think?"
"Yes. You did."
"Don't let anyone ever tell you your mother has a problem with talking her mouth off."
"I don't think I can stop them, Mom."
"Very funny." Lorelai looks at her kid - her hidden treasure - and leans in to kiss her on the forehead. She leaves her head resting on Rory's. "Thank you."
"No problem."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It has been two weeks since Max proposed, and there has never been a man so nervous. No - not Daisy Boy, even though that probably is the case. Max has thought about Lorelai every second of every day since then. He's heard from her almost every day and every day he keeps his mouth shut. What a patient man.
The man I am speaking of has no idea what to think of his nervousness. It's not there for any rational, logical, healthy reason.
She comes and goes almost every day, and he stands beside her, looking at her with anxious eyes. More specifically, he's looking at her left hand a lot - a lot, a lot.
They don't talk about the proposal. He doesn't bring it up.
That's not suspiciously quiet - just giving her space, that's all. Isn't that what friends do - respect one another's privacy?
He has occasionally overheard her say a thing or two to Rory about it, so he knows it hasn't come *yet*. But each time she walks through that door, he tenses up. His mind freezes in preparation for the eventual blow.
I can just see it now, Luke thinks to himself one morning while he was supposed to be "waiting on the customers." Knowing Lorelai, she won't know how to come out and say it so she'll just come out and say it. Bam. No warning. She'll screw up my whole system. I won't get any preemptive nervous ticks to judge or culminating banter that says, "Hey, it's coming up, so get ready, Luke!" It'll go something like this...
"Luke!"
"Lorelai."
"Coffee!"
"Is it just me or are the conversations we're having getting shorter and shorter?"
"I haven't even started a conversation, silly!"
"That may be true, but we know the only reason you even speak to me is to weasel the coffee out of my grasp."
"That is *not* the only reason I talk to you."
"Here."
I hand her the coffee.
"Thanks. Ok, gotta go!"
I huff as she turns to laugh.
"Kidding, Mr. I-Take-Everything-So-Seriously."
"If I took everything so seriously, I would have had you committed years ago."
"Ha. Ha."
"So what did you do last night?"
"Rory and I watched a rerun of 'errrrrrr.'"
"Errrrrr?"
"Yes. Very popular show despite the ridiculous name."
"New reality show on MTV?"
"No! Long-running Must-See-TV on Thursday night."
"How could I have been so stupid to fall into such a bad joke."
"But fall you did - and pretty far I might add."
"Unfortunately... And how was *E.R.*, dare I ask?"
"Pretty typical. Carter did something wrong and looked all floppy and cute. Mark got all serious on his ass. Romano shed his skin to reveal his true self, which, of course, was Satan."
"I guess I dared."
"Rory and I also ate a gallon of Chunky Monkey ice cream, and I do believe its intention is to make you chunkier than a monkey."
"Monkey's aren't that chunky, Lorelai."
"I said yes."
"That sentence did not fit at all with what..."
"I know. Sorry."
Yeah, that's how it would go, Luke thinks. I can't wait. I'm getting hives just thinking about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So when are you going to tell him?"
"Tonight. I just... I don't know, I think I should make a big deal out of it - invite him over for dinner or something."
"So you plan on poisoning him before you say 'yes' so he can take the news nauseated?"
"Ah! My plan is foiled!" Lorelai mocks. "So - bad idea?"
"Not *bad*, but... how about... a stroll in the park at night? Under the stars. Highly romantic in a John Hughes-ish way."
Lorelai looks at her daughter with a surprised expression. "How was I to know my daughter's genius extends to the area of shmaltzy romantic situations?"
"Well, now you know."
"We may have to cultivate your skill and use you to get to the production staff of Temptation Island II. Shake things up a bit, maybe garner ourselves an Emmy."
"I'll start writing my acceptance speech."
"Make sure to thank Mr. Hughes."
"Of course." Rory stops and looks at her mom. "Good luck."
Lorelai smiles warmly and touches Rory affectionately on the arm. "Thanks, sweetie."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai Gilmore walks through the streets of Stars Hollow. This brings us back to that shiny, majestic, exuberant place we all started at.
Look at that happy lamppost! Lorelai thinks as she crosses the street.
Look at that content bench by the tree! Lorelai thinks as she walks past the market.
Look at that joyful... closed sign on Luke's door?! A look of shock passes on Lorelai's face as she strides up to The Coffee Shop door.
No one was in there but Luke, who was now trying to escape to the kitchen. Lorelai throws open the diner door.
"What in Juan Valdez's name do you think you're doing?!"
Luke turns around to face Lorelai who's now marching her way up to the counter.
"Don't you know how to read signs?"
"What do you think caused me to barge in here?"
"The sudden inexplicable urge for coffee?"
"Good guess, but no."
"This place was empty. I saw you coming down the street. I did *not* want to be bothered. Therefore, I put up the sign."
"I thought I just heard you say a big loud *not* right before 'want to be bothered'."
"You heard correctly."
"Then why in samhill did you put up the *closed* sign in the middle of the day when you *know* that would only cause me to run in here demanding to know what is wrong?!"
"That is … a very good question." Luke sighs in defeat and starts to walk back to the kitchen.
Lorelai follows.
"Go. Away."
"You can stop your verbal attempts to get me out of this diner, Luke, because you know very well that short of you lifting and hauling me out of here yourself, I'm not moving. And even then... I'm known as a biter so I think you'd still have very little chance of getting your way."
"You're incredibly aggravating sometimes, you know that?"
"No! When was that decision made? The last town meeting? You know... I missed that one and I just *knew* I should've went, because..."
Luke turns around abruptly, causing Lorelai to bump into him.
"Ow. ... I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry," Luke says at the same time.
"Luke."
"Yes."
"Don't blow up at me, now... just listen and answer calmly."
"I'm making no promises."
"I'll take my chances. Is this about Rachel?"
"Rachel? Is *what* about Rachel?!"
"This whole grumpy mood you're in."
"Grumpy moo..." Luke raises voice and then stops, restraining his increasing frustration with Lorelai being so close to him, asking him what's wrong. If she only knew... "Nothing is about Rachel. Whatever you're perceiving as being grumpy has nothing to do with Rachel."
"It's not?"
"No."
"Not at all?"
"Why are you pressing this?"
"Well... it's just... I thought you loved her, Luke!"
"I'm *not* in love with Rachel!"
"But you told..."
"I was drunk, Lorelai."
"Yes. Drunk off your ass from *maragaritas* none the less - and there must have been a reason why you got to that state, Luke."
"Maybe I just felt like a drink."
"Maybe you just feel like wearing plaid everyday. That doesn't mean there isn't something seriously wrong behind that unconscious motivation."
"You should really back off of this, Lorelai."
"Why? Because it's not right for a friend to want another friend to be happy?"
Luke sighs heavily as Lorelai looks on in confusion.
"I don't understand you sometimes, Lorelai," Luke mutters, just wishing for once she would leave him be. He couldn't talk about this now, he didn't have answers for her.
"You're my friend. Friends want friends to be happy. Therefore, as your friend I want you to be happy and it's clear that right now, Luke Danes is not happy. Hence the worried questioning as to the source of your unhappiness."
You could define irony just by looking at this situation alone, Luke thinks to himself. "I appreciate your concern, I really do. But nothing is wrong," he says once more.
"Liar. What's wrong?"
"Did you not hear what I just said?"
"Yes. I did hear it. I disregarded it because of its obvious untruthfullness. Us intelligent girls tend do that from time to time," Lorelai rolls her eyes, frustrated. "I'm not an idiot, Luke, and I'd just like to state for the record that you lying to me about this really hurts me. Would it kill you to just admit something's bothering you? You don't even have to
tell me what it is."
"Fine, something's bothering me," Luke mumbles, hoping now she'll drop it. He should've known better.
"Good! Glad you confessed. Now what is it?"
"Lorelai!"
"What? Is it so wrong for me to want to help you?"
"Believe me, you *can't* help me with this."
"Why can't I? I'm a happy girl. I can spread the feeling to you."
"That's just it. I tell you what's bothering me, and you're going to be unhappy as a result. And since you yourself just said that friends don't want their friends to be unhappy, I'm not going to make you unhappy," Luke states, thinking that she can't possibly argue with that.
Lorelai is stumped, not because of his logic, but because her mind is already working away at the fact that Luke's little secret would somehow lead to her own discontent. What the hell does that mean?
"Why would your telling me make me unhappy?"
"Just trust me, it would."
"Then we can be unhappy together."
"Rather not," Luke declines, shaking his head. "Now would you just drop it?"
"If I drop it, will it break?" Lorelai asks, and Luke looks at her, puzzled. "Never mind. I just don't see why-"
"Lorelai, I mean it. If I wanted to talk to you about this, I would've alright? But I don't! So please just stop!"
Lorelai looks at him, slightly hurt. He actually sounded angry. Really angry.
"Sorry, Luke, I didn't mean to..." Lorelai drifts off, not really knowing what to say. She reaches out and touches his arm comfortingly. "I won't pry anymore. Just know that if you change your mind, I'm willing to listen, okay?"
Luke glances at her hand, realizing just how much he must love her, since watching her go like this is so painful.
"Sorry I yelled," He mumbles and Lorelai nods.
"I know. I'll see you tomorrow."
She grabs her take-out cup and leaves some money on the counter as she heads out of the diner.
"See ya."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai strolls into the kitchen at Independence Inn with her cup of coffee. Sookie is entranced by le pudding au flambe in front of her that she's poking and prodding and pretty much interrogating. Lorelai takes a seat across from Sookie, sips her coffee, and then sets her cup down softly on the counter with both hands continuing their death grip on the fragrant beverage.
"Do you see your footure?"
"Huh?"
"What makes bumpy dessert so fascinating?"
"It's not *bumpy*! Is it bumpy?!"
"I see bumps."
"They're slight protrusions in the surface. Rolling hills in the landscape."
"Again - bumps."
For the first time, Sookie breaks her examining glare from the flawed masterpiece in front of her. "What's wrong, Lorelai? You sound grumpy."
"Grumpy? Do I sound grumpy?"
"I just answered that question. This isn't Jeopardy."
"I'm not grumpy."
"Ok. Good." She turns her attention away from her grumpy friend and back onto her bumpy foe.
"I have my coffee - how could I be grumpy?"
"Right."
"Coffee from Luke's - you can't get any less grumpy-causing coffee on the planet."
"So I've been told."
Lorelai leans in, inches away from the flambe, and squints her eyes. "You know… if you look long enough your eyes cross and they no longer look like bumps, but little sheep."
Sookie's eyes slowly raise to meet Lorelai's. "Must I be forced to use the 'Lorelai gets kicked out of kitchen' card? Don't…"
"… Don't pass GO, Don't collect $200. I know the rules."
"Drink your coffee and shush."
Lorelai sits up and raises her eyebrows. "Hmm. Now who's grumpy?"
"You."
"I know."
"So you're admitting it?"
"Yes."
"Is this because of Max?"
"Yes. Sort of. Partially."
"Partially?"
"Yes. He's a part."
"Of the grumpiness."
"Correct."
"Want to tell me what the other part is, hon?"
"I thought you told me to 'shush.'"
"That's when you were insulting my thorough nature - now I'm asking as a concerned friend. What's wrong?"
Lorelai sighs and looks at her coffee cup. "Why does this coffee have to taste so good?"
"Lorelai? Honey. I hope that question in some way has to do with why you're grumpy or I'm not going to get anywhere in understanding what's wrong with you."
Lorelai lifts up her cup and looks reverently at it. "This coffee - it just can't be denied. It's too perfect."
"This is about Luke, isn't it?"
Lorelai sets her cup down again and looks straight at Sookie. "What do you mean, 'this is about Luke'? You sound so confident."
"Well… the reason you're rambling about the wonders of coffee is because you can't bring yourself to talk about what's really on your mind and that's Luke. Coffee is Luke substitute."
"Coffee is substitute for nothing!"
"Sure."
"Ok, so Luke is part of my state of grump. But that's only because he's grumpy and if he's grumpy then it makes the coffee-getting so much less enjoyable. Hence transferring the gloomy cloud over my head."
Sookie eyes Lorelai, not letting on that she doubts Lorelai's comprehension of all that's going on around her.
Lorelai continues with her rambling. "He was really angry and hurt, Sookie. I didn't like seeing him like that. Tell me - do you think it's an abominable thing to want to make your friends happy?"
"Is that a trick question?"
"No."
"Then…. No?"
"Of course it isn't!"
"What did you do this time to harass Luke?"
"I did *not* harass Luke! Why do you automatically assume I harassed Luke?"
"Because…"
"Ok, I harassed Luke. But it was caring, thoughtful harassment."
"Maybe he doesn't know the difference."
"He should. After numerous years of unending caring, thoughtful harassment from me, he should know the difference."
Sookie thinks for a second and squints her eyes. "You didn't happen to tell me *why* Luke was angry and hurt, did you? Because with the way you flew through this conversation, I'm not sure if I would have been able to catch that."
"Sorry. No, I didn't. He was too stubborn to come out and tell me, *a concerned friend*, what was bothering him. But, I'm assuming it has something to do with Rachel."
"You think he's still broken up over the fact that she left?"
"Positive. Rory went to talk to him one night and…" Lorelai decides to skip over the "drunk off his ass" part. "He told her he thinks he's in love with her."
"No," Sookie gasps and leans in, almost tarnishing her blouse with some sheepish looking pudding crust. "Oh, oopsy-daisy…"
Daisy. Lorelai sighs and bites her lip. She takes another sip of her coffee.
"I don't believe it."
"What's not to believe, Sookie?"
How do I go about saying this without giving away that… well… Sookie ponders to herself before speaking up. Gentle, Sookie. Slow and subtle.
"How could Luke be in love with Rachel? He didn't even spend any time with her while she was here."
Good. Very good, Sookie… maybe she'll pick up on the overhanging question of exactly *who* Luke was spending all of his time with.
"He was scared! You know Luke isn't Mr. Touchy-Feely. He didn't know how to tell her how he felt, so instead he ran away like a scared little puppy. Typical Luke behavior."
Damn. "Yes, but… he didn't seem that upset to me once she left. In fact, he was practically beaming the day after." A little exaggeration never hurt.
"He did seem ok, didn't he."
"He seemed more than ok."
"But - again - that's just like him, not showing how he's really feeling. Anyway, Sookie - why are you fighting this? Do you think there's something else that's bothering Luke?"
Sookie looked like she was about to say something but stopped. "No. Just… surprised, that's all. I didn't see anything between those two."
"Yeah well, Rachel could get on my nerves at times, but she's all right. Let me change that - she *was* all right, until she completely broke the heart of my best friend. Now she's pond scum. No, worse - smelly, moldy leftover coffee grounds. And believe me, I've been there. It is *not* pretty."
Sookie felt the need to switch gears. Maybe if they came at it from another angle,
Lorelai's eyes would finally open.
"Forget about Coffee Man troubles - tell me what's bothering you about Max."
Lorelai takes a huge gulp of her java as she ponders what to say about Max.
"Max. Max Max Max."
"Repetition. Not a good sign."
"I'm going to say 'yes.'"
"I guess I was miles off of *that* target."
Lorelai looks at her friend as she stares back, speechless.
"So?"
"Yes."
"Yes, a repetition of my answer to the proposal? Yes, I heard you Lorelai? Or yes, I have control over my voice now?!"
Sookie shakes her head. "I'm sorry, sweetie." She jumps up from her seat and hugs her friend, giving her a reassuring smile. "I guess I was just a little shocked, that's all. What with the way you've been acting lately…"
"Grumpy?"
"Not just that. You've been… I don't know… weird."
"Ah yes. Lorelai Gilmore, weird. That is so out of the ordinary. Call the cops, cause something's going down."
"You know what I mean. You haven't been yourself, lately."
"Well, Sookie - I recently received a proposal of marriage from a very worthy, incredible man who loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't see why on Earth I could possibly be acting different from how I normally act."
"So it's 'yes.'"
"It's 'yes.'"
"And you're happy."
"Ecstatic." Lorelai relaxes her face and smiles.
"Then I say we celebrate!"
"Great idea! And we will… *after* I tell the groom."
"How are you going to do it?" Sookie scoots closer to Lorelai, oozing her usual giddy excitement.
"The Romantic Stroll Through the Park Routine."
"Ah ha. Yes. Simple yet sweet. Private and personal yet open and spacious."
"You think it's a good idea?"
"I think it's a great idea, sweetie. Is it set for tonight?"
"I think so. I haven't talked to Max yet."
"And you've given this a lot of thought?"
"Of course I've given this a lot of thought! What do you think I've been doing these past few days, playing Parcheesi?"
"I know you've thought about this. You're Lorelai. I'm just asking you if you're absolutely, positively sure this is what you want."
"This is what I want. I want someone, Sookie. I want someone worthy and special and wonderful enough to be a part of my life and Rory's. Max is romantic. He's thoughtful and funny and smart and handsome."
"Well so is Jon Stewart, but I don't see you standing outside of The Daily Show pleading with him to make your life a fairy tale and play daddy for Rory."
Lorelai jabs her finger at Sookie for emphasis. "You know very well that Jon Stewart is too short for me. The wedding pictures would look weird. Plus… he's married now. I would consider that an obstacle."
"You get my point. Max is a lot of things that a lot of guys can be. What makes Max stand above the rest? What makes him the answer for you?"
"One thousand daisies?"
"That's a start… but are you going to say forever to someone just because he sent you a truck load of flowers?"
Lorelai looks at her friend with a fallen face, seriously thinking about what's been put out there.
Sookie thinks about how she's been trying to skirt the very issue she is about to bring up. She goes ahead, knowing it really is for the best. At least, that's what she tells herself.
"Let me ask you this, and don't get mad at me."
"Never a good way to start, Sookie."
"Have you ever thought that what's bothering you about this, about you marrying Max, is your attachment to Luke?"
"Luke and I are good friends," Lorelai says defensively. "I'm beginning to feel like a broken record these days. You, Max, my mother..."
"I know you don't want to think about it, Lorelai, but your feelings for Luke..." Sookie stops, deciding to try something else. "Luke says one harsh thing to you and you're near tears, sweetie. You don't see him for one day and you feel strange. And it's not about getting the coffee," Sookie says, feeling Lorelai start to interrupt. "You go to the diner everyday because you like talking to him. You're not bickering, you're flirting. Luke is a
major part of your life and when you're with Max, Luke is still there in the back of your mind. So obviously, until you address the whole Luke issue and clear up your own feelings for him, you're going to have doubts about Max."
"You couldn't be more wrong. You're Michael Jackson getting one more facelift wrong."
"Okay..."
Lorelai is staring at a spot on the floor, blank and frighteningly calm. She slowly looks up at Sookie.
"You're wrong." Her voice is wavering. Sookie notices her insecurities so she feels compelled to leave her alone for the time being. She needs to figure this out for herself.
She looks at Lorelai and nods. Lorelai grabs her purse and begins to walk out of the kitchen.
"Lorel…"
"I'll talk to you later."
Sookie wasn't too worried about their friendship. Lorelai sounded more confused than angry. She wasn't that worried about Lorelai either. She knew she'd get this straightened out. Lorelai Gilmore is nothing if not determined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai stumbles out of that debacle with the intent to flee. Dramatically if possible. She wanted to get in her car and drive. She didn't know where, some place where it was just her and her thoughts. It was time to confront this jumbled mess.
She passes Michel and forces herself to hold back the viciously funny comment she has about his tie, throwing a finger up in the process. "No. No speaking. I'm leaving. I'll be back in a... I'll be back."
"But Your Highness, Prince Charming is on the phone." His accent flows out of his mouth thick and heavy - he must be in an extraordinarily grouchy, patron-hating mood today.
Lorelai turns on her heels and looks at the phone in Michel's hand. For a split second - maybe four-fifths of a second - Lorelai pictures Luke's face at the other end of the phone. This just makes her want to flee even faster. But she doesn't move an inch.
Michel looks at her expectedly. "And to my bewilderment, he's asking for you."
Lorelai stands there, looking at the receiver, which is now being impatiently waved in front of her.
"Well?! "
Silence while Lorelai continues the staring contest with the phone and Michel's blood pressure rises.
"I hold this *thing* for hours on end in your establishment. If I hold it any longer I will receive some sort of disease with which I will press charges for physical endangerment in an occupational setting."
Lorelai doesn't take her eyes off of the phone, but she takes her hands, which were previously hovering around her mouth in a nervous manner, and quickly grabs the phone from Michel. She turns away from him and takes a deep breath.
*Humph* "Not even the slightest acknowledgement of my existence. I wonder if that constitutes for emotional distress..." Michel mumbles a few more choice words and walks away.
Lorelai puts the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"
"Lorelai. It's Max."
"Max!"
"How are you?"
"How am I?"
"Yes."
"I... am...."
A few moments pass and Max stiffens up. "Silent."
Lorelai lets out a nervous laugh. "Tired."
Max smiles, relieved. For a second there, he thought she'd hand him the old "we have to talk." Don't scare me like that, Lorelai.
"Lorelai, is something..."
"Nothing's wrong. Sorry. Things... things are just a little distracting at the Inn right now..." Lorelai looks around for sources of loud busy sounds - the place was dead.
Noise. Need noise, Lorelai thinks to herself.
Lorelai grabs a stapler near her and drops it back on the counter. At the same time she takes her other hand and flings a few pens against the wall. After swiftly ringing the bell a few frantic times, she then takes the papers near by and ruffles through them, inadvertedly giving herself a paper cut.
"Ouch. Damn."
"Lorelai?"
"Yes. Sorry. I'm fine."
"You don't *sound* fine."
"What is it with me and not *sounding* a particular happy-go-lucky way? Everyone should get their ears checked, because I have excellent hearing and I'm hearing myself and I sound *fine*!"
"My ears apologize."
"Your voice should, too." Lorelai feels the tension and regrets her explosive hormones.
"You know…"
"I'm sorry Max. Really, I am. It's just…"
"Need some coffee?"
Lorelai's throat falls into her stomach and her heart down to her feet. "Coffee?"
"Yeah. Hot brown liquid. Part of your blood stream. Wouldn't be surprised if you dream more about coffee than me..."
"How do *you* know what I dream about. For all you know I could be dreaming about... purple iguanas!"
"That really isn't surprising."
"You see me as the purple iguana type gal, huh?"
"No. I've just learned that when it comes to Lorelai Gilmore - expect the unexpected. So I expect purple iguanas to replace me in your subconscious."
"They didn't quite *replace*... oh, what am I do... why, why did you call?" Lorelai stumbles with her words and grasps the phone a little tighter, biting her lower lip.
"I just wanted to see how the woman I love is doing. And... I wanted..." Max loses his nerve. What he really wanted was to ask her about the proposal. He wanted to banter and exchange witty innuendo. He wanted to then use his wordsmith abilities to approach the topic - subtly and openly. But he froze. Something didn't feel right. She needed more time. "I wanted to say 'I love you' and I'm thinking of you. There... still distracted?"
Lorelai can't help but smile. This man loves her. Why the hell does he have to be so *endearing* all the time?! "Well... yes. But by something entirely different. Will I see you tonight?"
"Do you want to see me tonight?"
"I do."
"Tell me where and when and I'm there."
Lorelai thinks for a second and makes a decision. Again. "Stars Hollow Park. Eight o'clock."
"I'm there."
"Wow. That was quick."
Max laughs. "I'll see you tonight."
"I'll see you." She hesitates then hangs up the phone, letting go of a sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max Medina walks into a coffee bar in Hartford, sitting down to drink a cup of something foamy and ponder the possibilities of what is wrong with Lorelai.
Max sits on a stool near the counter and asks for a grande latte, extra foam. He takes out the ring and looks at it sitting in its case. The ring. The ring he hopes will adorn Lorelai Gilmore's finger very soon. His hopes are high, but as he sits there thinking about their recent uncomfortable conversation, he wonders whether or not his hopes are in vain.
As he moves the ring around to observe its sparkle, a woman sits down next to him, sighing.
"Mocha java, please."
"Whipped cream on top," the eyebrow-studded young man behind the counter asks.
"Sure. I need the added sugar."
She looks over at Max and smiles. He smiles back and asks, "Tough day?"
"Tough past few weeks." She sticks out her hand, "My name's Rachel."
"Max."
"Nice to meet you, Max." Rachel's eye catches the glittering stone before her. "You look like a man in love." Her head nods toward the ring.
"Oh. Well…" Max looks a bit too sad as he closes the case and puts the ring back in his pocket. "I am."
"When do you plan on popping the question?"
"I already have."
"Oh."
"Long story."
"I'm sure it's romantic."
"In it's own twisted way, yes."
"Why do you still have the ring?"
"The question popping was kind of abrupt, so…"
"I see." She looks over and smiles at the forlorn man. "She's going to love it."
"I hope so." He seems a little more hopeful as he looks up at Rachel.
"Did she say yes?"
"Not yet. I didn't give her a chance to. I told her I wanted her to think about it. "
"Very diplomatic of you."
"Thanks. If only it didn't eat me up inside, I'd feel more like a gentleman."
"Very understandable." Rachel thinks for a second. "You know... I feel like confessing something."
"Confess away."
"I'm a photographer and well... I took a picture of you looking at the ring from back there..." Rachel nods in the direction of the door of the cafe. "And I have to say, you didn't really..." Rachel frowns, unsure of how to put it.
"... look like a man in love?"
"No. That's not it..."
"No, that's ok."
"Maybe... more of the other way around?"
"I looked dejected."
"I guess you could say that."
"You're very perceptive." Max nods at Rachel.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. She hasn't rejected me... yet. It just feels... off. I really care about her. I love her. I should stop letting my doubts and fears get in the way of the possibility to be happy with this woman, though."
"You're right. You're so right... I know someone that should take that very advice."
"Really?"
"Yeah. A good friend of mine. I tried to tell him in my own way, but he has to find out for himself, ya know?"
"Yes. I do." Max grabs his latte from Stud Boy.
"My friend - he's in love with this woman, and it took me, his ex-girlfriend, to snap him out of a huge amount of denial and face the facts."
"Wow. That must have been hard for you, being close to him yourself."
"It was. At first, I was jealous. I came back to try and rebuild our relationship again. I was serious. I was determined. But… I could tell that things had changed. She brings things out in him I never could."
"And what did he do with this realization?"
"Actually - I don't know. I told him that he shouldn't wait too long to tell her, but… knowing him he's still waiting. He'll probably be waiting for a while, and soon enough, he'll have lost his chance."
Max sits in silence, thinking about the point Rachel drove home with her story about that misguided, cowardly friend of hers. The best time is here and now - don't let any more time go by without showing Lorelai how you feel, Max tells himself. This is what I want. I want to be married to her - enough waiting.
Metal Head comes back with Rachel's mocha java.
"Thank you." Rachel takes the hot beverage in her hands. "It's funny… Luke hates coffee with a passion and both the women he's loved are horribly addicted to it."
"Hmm." Max laughs and smiles at her, oblivious of what was just said. "I should take some back to my girlfriend, Lorelai. Coffee's always a guaranteed ice breaker with her."
"Lorelai?"
"Yeah. Lorelai Gilmore. She lives in Stars Hollow... small town close to Hartford."
"Uhhh…" Rachel begins to shake her head and look at her watch, terrified of what she might have just caused. "I… wow… I have to get going. It was really nice meeting you, Max."
She gets up and shakes his free hand.
"It was nice… meeting you, Rachel." Max looks confused, stumbling over his words.
"Good luck with your girlfriend," she says as she breezes out of the café.
"Thank you," Max says to… well, no one since Rachel's already out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Lorelai got off the phone with Max and after she escaped the clutches of a malice-wielding Michel, she dashed to her car and drove. She didn't know where she wanted to go. Well - she knew where she *wanted* to go, but decided that Australia was a little too far away just to avoid your problems. Plus, Rory would be jealous.
So instead of relaxing on a beach near Sydney, she's now sitting on the rotting steps of her dream. That's not an attempt to be poetic - there really are steps. They're connected to what will someday be an inn. A great inn. A beautiful, magical, adored inn filled with people. Very happy people.
Someday, Lorelai mentally sighs. I'll show the world. World, of course, meaning Emily Gilmore. I'll have my inn. I'll have my ecstatically-happy-Harvard-attending young daughter. I'll have my … what have I always wanted? Oh yes - perfectly understanding, increasingly caring, eternally warm, bitingly witty, absolutely irresistible man. A man who will be life affirming and generous. A man who will give me coffee beans instead of flowers to make up for that disastrous comment he made the night before.
Hmm. Not that one thousand daisies aren't extremely romantic and thoughtful and wonderful. I didn't mean that in the least when I just said that.
I'm sure anything that the man I love does will make me happy. What is happiness anyway? That is a very good question - but not one that a mentally unstable person such as myself could really be expected to answer.
Lorelai wistfully plays with some dandelions that are growing around the front steps. While trying to focus on something other than her own thoughts, she happens to focus on other people's thoughts. That did not help in the slightest.
She could hear her mother's strained voice spouting accusations. "This man was at Rory's birthday party, he came to the hospital with you, he's the male lead in every story you tell, you go to the diner every single day. I've seen the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. I'm not a fool."
Sookie's tender, but unnerving words are also brought to mind. "My point is that you called Luke. Out of all the people in town that you could have called that would have come over and dropped what they were doing, you called Luke."
Let's be honest, Lorelai - Okay. Okay, so I may have feelings for two men at the same time. That happens, right? All right. This is what I do… I go to Luke. I ask him… what do I ask him? Do I ask him, hey do you love me? Do I ask him why it is that he seems to break his strict code of conduct - new clothes, people behind his counter, redecorating even if it's unnoticeable redecorating - only for me? Closing his life's work on a whim because I need someone to drive me to a hospital. Would he do that for anyone else? Should I ask him these things?
After I horribly embarrass myself and possibly ruin my wonderful friendship with Luke, I go to Max. I then proceed to horribly embarrass myself and ruin whatever relationship we could have together.
Then, I go to Hartford. Track down the most acclaimed psychoanalyst within a 60 mile radius - I'm sure my mother could be a big help for once - and have myself committed.
This is simple. And I'm being silly. If it's taking me this long and this many Advils to come to any sort of "conclusion" then… well…
Lorelai stands up quickly and heads back to her car. When she gets to the door she turns to look at the crumbly building before her.
"This is going to be one hell of an inn," she says with a smile as hops in her car to make her way to Luke's.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai walks up to Luke's door. She turns around. Walks back five steps. She turns around again. She makes it a teeny bit closer to his door the second time only to turn around again. The third time, thinking it's the charm, she walks faster and more determined. She's an arm's length away from the door when a brown suit catches her eye.
Max appears around the corner.
"Lorelai!"
"Max. Hi."
He walks up to her with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.
"Coffee break?"
"Yeah. Sookie hasn't been keeping up with the supply lately. What are you doing here?"
"I was actually on my way to the Inn to catch you by surprise."
"Ah, well you're ahead of yourself, because you caught me by surprise here!"
"I see that. I was thinking about picking you up some coffee in hopes that it would brighten your disastrous day at work."
"That's very considerate of you."
Max looks at the door they're standing in front of. "Well seeing as though we are where we are right now… would you like me to buy you some coffee?"
Lorelai looks at the door and back at Max. "Umm… sure. Thanks."
Max and Lorelai enter the diner and take a seat at the nearest table. Lorelai sees Luke pick up the phone that's ringing on the counter. She breathes a sigh of relief that he has yet to notice them.
Max touches Lorelai's hand to get her attention. "Tell me what's wrong."
"What's wrong? What do you mean 'what's wrong'?"
"You're not yourself."
"Who am I then, Rosa Parks?"
Max makes a face at her random remark. "You know what I mean. You didn't… well you didn't seem that happy to see me. I just want to know whether or not your mood is being effected by something more than a bad day at work, that's all."
Lorelai is again looking over at Luke, more intrigued as ever since he was secretly huddled over the receiver. He took his cap off and ran his fingers through his hair. Something he only did when he was nervous. Or, of course, when he was increasingly exasperated with Taylor's ranting at the town meetings. Since the setting was his diner, Lorelai guessed the former.
"Lorelai?!"
She turns suddenly, embarrassed about her staring episode. "What?!"
"Why were you staring at Luke?"
"I was not staring at Luke."
"What were you staring at then?"
"If you must know… the new batch of muffins he has placed out on the counter. I was mulling over whether or not to get one."
"Ah. I see." Max is seriously unimpressed.
"Blueberry to be exact."
"Uh-huh."
Max looks earnestly at Lorelai. "Let's get serious for a moment. I have something I want to talk to you about and I think we need to talk about it this very instant before I go completely crazy…"
Max is about to continue when Luke steps up to the table.
"Hello you two. What will it be?" His eyes are low and desperately trying not to focus on anything near either one of their faces.
Max sighs and takes his hand away from Lorelai's. "We'll both have coffee."
"Is that all?" Luke's eyes look over at Lorelai for a split second to see her examining him and squinting in confusion.
"Yes, that's it. Thank you, Luke," Max huffs.
"No!" Lorelai speaks up a tad too much like a person being electrocuted.
Max looks hesitantly at her. "Changed your mind?"
"Yes. I mean, no. Just coffee. I umm… just wanted to ask you, Luke… I'm curious… who was it you were talking to on the phone?"
Still not making direct prolonged eye contact, Luke sulks. "It's none of your business."
"I agree. But that doesn't diminish my curiosity. Who was it you were talking to?"
"Must you know everything that's going on in someone's life, Lorelai? I mean honestly… you're crossing the line to join the Miss Patty's of the world."
"Information is a highly valuable thing. It is the Miss Patty's of this world that will one day rule over all the uniformed recluses."
"And it is the Miss Patty's that will suck all the liberty and privacy individuals have in this country."
"Miss Patty has been referenced *way* too many times in this discussion. Back to my point. All I'm saying is, you look jumpy."
"I'm not jumpy."
"You look uneasy, then."
"I'm perfectly easy."
Lorelai just smirks at his comment. Luke sighs and rolls his eyes.
"I'm fine, Lorelai. Thanks for the concern, but it's unnecessary." Untrue to his words, Luke continues to tap his pencil nervously on the pad of paper he's holding.
Lorelai doesn't give up. What a surprise. "Ok, buddy. You're dead wrong." She points at the pencil, exposing his jitters. "I don't think I've seen you this nervous since… well, since Rachel was in town."
At that, Luke's pencil stops in mid tap. And what Lorelai doesn't notice, since she's looking at Luke, is that Max's eyes inexplicably light up. He looks up at Luke with a new and frightening understanding.
Lorelai's finger makes a jabbing motion toward Luke. "That's it! It was Rachel, wasn't it?!"
"I'm getting your coffee."
"Awww, come on, Luke!" Lorelai looks over at Max. "I *have* to go get the low down on this. It sounds big. I'll be right back." She is partly out of her seat when she notices the look on Max's face. She stops, taken aback.
"Max? What's wrong?"
The silence said enough.
To be continued…
AUTHOR: Barb
Stars Hollow was shining.
It was shining brightly because the sun was out and it was very, very bright. But for Lorelai Gilmore, Stars Hollow was shining because of something else. It was shining because of magic. The magic that comes along with being in love.
The trees were greener. The sky was bluer. The birds were less annoying. Everything with the world was amplified to a better state of being.
When did this world get so majestic and exuberant, you ask? Well…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm going to say yes."
"You are?!"
"Yes." Lorelai was beaming at her daughter.
Rory smiled, but she doubted her own feelings. She didn't quite know what to say. She's been saying to herself and to her mother time and time again that she's ok with this. That her mom marrying Max was a good thing as long as it made her mother happy. I mean, they were both realistic about this - no matter who her mom marries or when she gets married, it's going to be a difficult transition for Rory. It just has to be one that they can deal with together. Rory's not sure if there will ever be the right person or the right time for this.
Rory opens her mouth to say something along the lines of "that's great" or "this is so exciting," but ends up taking a deep breath and reverting back to her silent smile. Lorelai's own happy face falls when she gets the "I-have-no-idea-what-to-say-or-do" vibe from Rory.
"Rory? Honey? If there's something you want to discuss with me, then you know I am more than willing to put all of this on hold and hear you out…"
"I know. And, Mom, don't think I'm not happy, because I *am* happy… I'm…"
"Let's not use words that don't accurately describe the situation, ok? You're not happy - that's *ok*. I really didn't expect you to be jumping off the walls anyway."
"It's just…"
"This is a *big* deal, I know. I'm making a decision that would essentially completely turn our lives upside down, but since when have we not welcomed a little adventure in our lives?"
"Since the moment I realized that 'adventure' with you means partaking in extremely bizarre situations that rival even those of the Addams Family."
They both laugh at this, enjoying the fact that they can make light of any sticky situation. A little balance is all it takes.
"Max as Gomez sounds a little frightening, but very realistic."
"Ewwwwww!" Lorelai squeals and makes a face. "Gomez always creeped me out with the arm kissing."
They laugh and Lorelai gets a contemplative look on her face. "Luke would probably be Lurch."
"What does Luke have to do with anything?" Rory asks, confused.
"Um, nothing," Lorelai stumbles, frowning. "It just occurred to me that Luke would make a good Lurch, that's all. Can't you just see him scowling at everyone that enters? Not to mention - he'd win a blue ribbon in 'grunting' anyday."
The girls laugh at the thought.
Then, they sit for a few seconds in silence and let the seriousness seep into their systems again before starting up the conversation.
"You are my *life,* Rory, and I will not go about changing you in ways you do not want to be changed."
"I am going to say something and I want you to not say a word throughout the entire thing until I say it's ok."
Lorelai nods, already putting the agreement into effect.
"Ok. Mom - I love you."
Lorelai smiles as if to say, "I love you, too, sweetie." She's an expert at communication - all kinds. And her facial expressions are taking an active part in this conversation.
"You should never, at any time in your entire life, doubt how much you made me into the person that I am."
Lorelai looks at her daughter, emoting the statement; "I could not be more pleased and proud to have a daughter like you."
"So take this as some advice from one Lorelai to another - for once, just think about yourself."
Lorelai gives a "huh?" look with her eyes.
"Stop using me as an excuse to put on hold all of the things you want out of life. I'm strong - with you as a mother, how could I not be?"
Lorelai makes a face that says, "Well, you have a point there…"
"Here's some honesty for you - I don't know exactly *what* to think about you marrying Max. I don't know how it will be having him as a … well, a… something different than what he is now."
Lorelai's mouth goes into a pout that reads, "Yeah. That will be kind of weird, won't it?"
"It will probably be weird. Very weird. It will probably also be a little uncomfortable at first, and strange and … and awkward… and frightening at times. But I don't see that as anything new in this household."
"Ha," Lorelai mouths without verbalizing.
"Seriously - it won't be all fairy tale dust and daisies around here. But - we're Gilmores. And I think that is enough to give me the confidence that we could survive whatever is about to happen."
Mother and daughter look at one another, coming to grips with the idea of their deteriorated twosome.
"Ok," Rory says. After her mother continues to remain silent, Rory decides to elaborate. "It's ok to speak now."
"Oh. I did good, don't you think?"
"Yes. You did."
"Don't let anyone ever tell you your mother has a problem with talking her mouth off."
"I don't think I can stop them, Mom."
"Very funny." Lorelai looks at her kid - her hidden treasure - and leans in to kiss her on the forehead. She leaves her head resting on Rory's. "Thank you."
"No problem."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It has been two weeks since Max proposed, and there has never been a man so nervous. No - not Daisy Boy, even though that probably is the case. Max has thought about Lorelai every second of every day since then. He's heard from her almost every day and every day he keeps his mouth shut. What a patient man.
The man I am speaking of has no idea what to think of his nervousness. It's not there for any rational, logical, healthy reason.
She comes and goes almost every day, and he stands beside her, looking at her with anxious eyes. More specifically, he's looking at her left hand a lot - a lot, a lot.
They don't talk about the proposal. He doesn't bring it up.
That's not suspiciously quiet - just giving her space, that's all. Isn't that what friends do - respect one another's privacy?
He has occasionally overheard her say a thing or two to Rory about it, so he knows it hasn't come *yet*. But each time she walks through that door, he tenses up. His mind freezes in preparation for the eventual blow.
I can just see it now, Luke thinks to himself one morning while he was supposed to be "waiting on the customers." Knowing Lorelai, she won't know how to come out and say it so she'll just come out and say it. Bam. No warning. She'll screw up my whole system. I won't get any preemptive nervous ticks to judge or culminating banter that says, "Hey, it's coming up, so get ready, Luke!" It'll go something like this...
"Luke!"
"Lorelai."
"Coffee!"
"Is it just me or are the conversations we're having getting shorter and shorter?"
"I haven't even started a conversation, silly!"
"That may be true, but we know the only reason you even speak to me is to weasel the coffee out of my grasp."
"That is *not* the only reason I talk to you."
"Here."
I hand her the coffee.
"Thanks. Ok, gotta go!"
I huff as she turns to laugh.
"Kidding, Mr. I-Take-Everything-So-Seriously."
"If I took everything so seriously, I would have had you committed years ago."
"Ha. Ha."
"So what did you do last night?"
"Rory and I watched a rerun of 'errrrrrr.'"
"Errrrrr?"
"Yes. Very popular show despite the ridiculous name."
"New reality show on MTV?"
"No! Long-running Must-See-TV on Thursday night."
"How could I have been so stupid to fall into such a bad joke."
"But fall you did - and pretty far I might add."
"Unfortunately... And how was *E.R.*, dare I ask?"
"Pretty typical. Carter did something wrong and looked all floppy and cute. Mark got all serious on his ass. Romano shed his skin to reveal his true self, which, of course, was Satan."
"I guess I dared."
"Rory and I also ate a gallon of Chunky Monkey ice cream, and I do believe its intention is to make you chunkier than a monkey."
"Monkey's aren't that chunky, Lorelai."
"I said yes."
"That sentence did not fit at all with what..."
"I know. Sorry."
Yeah, that's how it would go, Luke thinks. I can't wait. I'm getting hives just thinking about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So when are you going to tell him?"
"Tonight. I just... I don't know, I think I should make a big deal out of it - invite him over for dinner or something."
"So you plan on poisoning him before you say 'yes' so he can take the news nauseated?"
"Ah! My plan is foiled!" Lorelai mocks. "So - bad idea?"
"Not *bad*, but... how about... a stroll in the park at night? Under the stars. Highly romantic in a John Hughes-ish way."
Lorelai looks at her daughter with a surprised expression. "How was I to know my daughter's genius extends to the area of shmaltzy romantic situations?"
"Well, now you know."
"We may have to cultivate your skill and use you to get to the production staff of Temptation Island II. Shake things up a bit, maybe garner ourselves an Emmy."
"I'll start writing my acceptance speech."
"Make sure to thank Mr. Hughes."
"Of course." Rory stops and looks at her mom. "Good luck."
Lorelai smiles warmly and touches Rory affectionately on the arm. "Thanks, sweetie."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai Gilmore walks through the streets of Stars Hollow. This brings us back to that shiny, majestic, exuberant place we all started at.
Look at that happy lamppost! Lorelai thinks as she crosses the street.
Look at that content bench by the tree! Lorelai thinks as she walks past the market.
Look at that joyful... closed sign on Luke's door?! A look of shock passes on Lorelai's face as she strides up to The Coffee Shop door.
No one was in there but Luke, who was now trying to escape to the kitchen. Lorelai throws open the diner door.
"What in Juan Valdez's name do you think you're doing?!"
Luke turns around to face Lorelai who's now marching her way up to the counter.
"Don't you know how to read signs?"
"What do you think caused me to barge in here?"
"The sudden inexplicable urge for coffee?"
"Good guess, but no."
"This place was empty. I saw you coming down the street. I did *not* want to be bothered. Therefore, I put up the sign."
"I thought I just heard you say a big loud *not* right before 'want to be bothered'."
"You heard correctly."
"Then why in samhill did you put up the *closed* sign in the middle of the day when you *know* that would only cause me to run in here demanding to know what is wrong?!"
"That is … a very good question." Luke sighs in defeat and starts to walk back to the kitchen.
Lorelai follows.
"Go. Away."
"You can stop your verbal attempts to get me out of this diner, Luke, because you know very well that short of you lifting and hauling me out of here yourself, I'm not moving. And even then... I'm known as a biter so I think you'd still have very little chance of getting your way."
"You're incredibly aggravating sometimes, you know that?"
"No! When was that decision made? The last town meeting? You know... I missed that one and I just *knew* I should've went, because..."
Luke turns around abruptly, causing Lorelai to bump into him.
"Ow. ... I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry," Luke says at the same time.
"Luke."
"Yes."
"Don't blow up at me, now... just listen and answer calmly."
"I'm making no promises."
"I'll take my chances. Is this about Rachel?"
"Rachel? Is *what* about Rachel?!"
"This whole grumpy mood you're in."
"Grumpy moo..." Luke raises voice and then stops, restraining his increasing frustration with Lorelai being so close to him, asking him what's wrong. If she only knew... "Nothing is about Rachel. Whatever you're perceiving as being grumpy has nothing to do with Rachel."
"It's not?"
"No."
"Not at all?"
"Why are you pressing this?"
"Well... it's just... I thought you loved her, Luke!"
"I'm *not* in love with Rachel!"
"But you told..."
"I was drunk, Lorelai."
"Yes. Drunk off your ass from *maragaritas* none the less - and there must have been a reason why you got to that state, Luke."
"Maybe I just felt like a drink."
"Maybe you just feel like wearing plaid everyday. That doesn't mean there isn't something seriously wrong behind that unconscious motivation."
"You should really back off of this, Lorelai."
"Why? Because it's not right for a friend to want another friend to be happy?"
Luke sighs heavily as Lorelai looks on in confusion.
"I don't understand you sometimes, Lorelai," Luke mutters, just wishing for once she would leave him be. He couldn't talk about this now, he didn't have answers for her.
"You're my friend. Friends want friends to be happy. Therefore, as your friend I want you to be happy and it's clear that right now, Luke Danes is not happy. Hence the worried questioning as to the source of your unhappiness."
You could define irony just by looking at this situation alone, Luke thinks to himself. "I appreciate your concern, I really do. But nothing is wrong," he says once more.
"Liar. What's wrong?"
"Did you not hear what I just said?"
"Yes. I did hear it. I disregarded it because of its obvious untruthfullness. Us intelligent girls tend do that from time to time," Lorelai rolls her eyes, frustrated. "I'm not an idiot, Luke, and I'd just like to state for the record that you lying to me about this really hurts me. Would it kill you to just admit something's bothering you? You don't even have to
tell me what it is."
"Fine, something's bothering me," Luke mumbles, hoping now she'll drop it. He should've known better.
"Good! Glad you confessed. Now what is it?"
"Lorelai!"
"What? Is it so wrong for me to want to help you?"
"Believe me, you *can't* help me with this."
"Why can't I? I'm a happy girl. I can spread the feeling to you."
"That's just it. I tell you what's bothering me, and you're going to be unhappy as a result. And since you yourself just said that friends don't want their friends to be unhappy, I'm not going to make you unhappy," Luke states, thinking that she can't possibly argue with that.
Lorelai is stumped, not because of his logic, but because her mind is already working away at the fact that Luke's little secret would somehow lead to her own discontent. What the hell does that mean?
"Why would your telling me make me unhappy?"
"Just trust me, it would."
"Then we can be unhappy together."
"Rather not," Luke declines, shaking his head. "Now would you just drop it?"
"If I drop it, will it break?" Lorelai asks, and Luke looks at her, puzzled. "Never mind. I just don't see why-"
"Lorelai, I mean it. If I wanted to talk to you about this, I would've alright? But I don't! So please just stop!"
Lorelai looks at him, slightly hurt. He actually sounded angry. Really angry.
"Sorry, Luke, I didn't mean to..." Lorelai drifts off, not really knowing what to say. She reaches out and touches his arm comfortingly. "I won't pry anymore. Just know that if you change your mind, I'm willing to listen, okay?"
Luke glances at her hand, realizing just how much he must love her, since watching her go like this is so painful.
"Sorry I yelled," He mumbles and Lorelai nods.
"I know. I'll see you tomorrow."
She grabs her take-out cup and leaves some money on the counter as she heads out of the diner.
"See ya."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai strolls into the kitchen at Independence Inn with her cup of coffee. Sookie is entranced by le pudding au flambe in front of her that she's poking and prodding and pretty much interrogating. Lorelai takes a seat across from Sookie, sips her coffee, and then sets her cup down softly on the counter with both hands continuing their death grip on the fragrant beverage.
"Do you see your footure?"
"Huh?"
"What makes bumpy dessert so fascinating?"
"It's not *bumpy*! Is it bumpy?!"
"I see bumps."
"They're slight protrusions in the surface. Rolling hills in the landscape."
"Again - bumps."
For the first time, Sookie breaks her examining glare from the flawed masterpiece in front of her. "What's wrong, Lorelai? You sound grumpy."
"Grumpy? Do I sound grumpy?"
"I just answered that question. This isn't Jeopardy."
"I'm not grumpy."
"Ok. Good." She turns her attention away from her grumpy friend and back onto her bumpy foe.
"I have my coffee - how could I be grumpy?"
"Right."
"Coffee from Luke's - you can't get any less grumpy-causing coffee on the planet."
"So I've been told."
Lorelai leans in, inches away from the flambe, and squints her eyes. "You know… if you look long enough your eyes cross and they no longer look like bumps, but little sheep."
Sookie's eyes slowly raise to meet Lorelai's. "Must I be forced to use the 'Lorelai gets kicked out of kitchen' card? Don't…"
"… Don't pass GO, Don't collect $200. I know the rules."
"Drink your coffee and shush."
Lorelai sits up and raises her eyebrows. "Hmm. Now who's grumpy?"
"You."
"I know."
"So you're admitting it?"
"Yes."
"Is this because of Max?"
"Yes. Sort of. Partially."
"Partially?"
"Yes. He's a part."
"Of the grumpiness."
"Correct."
"Want to tell me what the other part is, hon?"
"I thought you told me to 'shush.'"
"That's when you were insulting my thorough nature - now I'm asking as a concerned friend. What's wrong?"
Lorelai sighs and looks at her coffee cup. "Why does this coffee have to taste so good?"
"Lorelai? Honey. I hope that question in some way has to do with why you're grumpy or I'm not going to get anywhere in understanding what's wrong with you."
Lorelai lifts up her cup and looks reverently at it. "This coffee - it just can't be denied. It's too perfect."
"This is about Luke, isn't it?"
Lorelai sets her cup down again and looks straight at Sookie. "What do you mean, 'this is about Luke'? You sound so confident."
"Well… the reason you're rambling about the wonders of coffee is because you can't bring yourself to talk about what's really on your mind and that's Luke. Coffee is Luke substitute."
"Coffee is substitute for nothing!"
"Sure."
"Ok, so Luke is part of my state of grump. But that's only because he's grumpy and if he's grumpy then it makes the coffee-getting so much less enjoyable. Hence transferring the gloomy cloud over my head."
Sookie eyes Lorelai, not letting on that she doubts Lorelai's comprehension of all that's going on around her.
Lorelai continues with her rambling. "He was really angry and hurt, Sookie. I didn't like seeing him like that. Tell me - do you think it's an abominable thing to want to make your friends happy?"
"Is that a trick question?"
"No."
"Then…. No?"
"Of course it isn't!"
"What did you do this time to harass Luke?"
"I did *not* harass Luke! Why do you automatically assume I harassed Luke?"
"Because…"
"Ok, I harassed Luke. But it was caring, thoughtful harassment."
"Maybe he doesn't know the difference."
"He should. After numerous years of unending caring, thoughtful harassment from me, he should know the difference."
Sookie thinks for a second and squints her eyes. "You didn't happen to tell me *why* Luke was angry and hurt, did you? Because with the way you flew through this conversation, I'm not sure if I would have been able to catch that."
"Sorry. No, I didn't. He was too stubborn to come out and tell me, *a concerned friend*, what was bothering him. But, I'm assuming it has something to do with Rachel."
"You think he's still broken up over the fact that she left?"
"Positive. Rory went to talk to him one night and…" Lorelai decides to skip over the "drunk off his ass" part. "He told her he thinks he's in love with her."
"No," Sookie gasps and leans in, almost tarnishing her blouse with some sheepish looking pudding crust. "Oh, oopsy-daisy…"
Daisy. Lorelai sighs and bites her lip. She takes another sip of her coffee.
"I don't believe it."
"What's not to believe, Sookie?"
How do I go about saying this without giving away that… well… Sookie ponders to herself before speaking up. Gentle, Sookie. Slow and subtle.
"How could Luke be in love with Rachel? He didn't even spend any time with her while she was here."
Good. Very good, Sookie… maybe she'll pick up on the overhanging question of exactly *who* Luke was spending all of his time with.
"He was scared! You know Luke isn't Mr. Touchy-Feely. He didn't know how to tell her how he felt, so instead he ran away like a scared little puppy. Typical Luke behavior."
Damn. "Yes, but… he didn't seem that upset to me once she left. In fact, he was practically beaming the day after." A little exaggeration never hurt.
"He did seem ok, didn't he."
"He seemed more than ok."
"But - again - that's just like him, not showing how he's really feeling. Anyway, Sookie - why are you fighting this? Do you think there's something else that's bothering Luke?"
Sookie looked like she was about to say something but stopped. "No. Just… surprised, that's all. I didn't see anything between those two."
"Yeah well, Rachel could get on my nerves at times, but she's all right. Let me change that - she *was* all right, until she completely broke the heart of my best friend. Now she's pond scum. No, worse - smelly, moldy leftover coffee grounds. And believe me, I've been there. It is *not* pretty."
Sookie felt the need to switch gears. Maybe if they came at it from another angle,
Lorelai's eyes would finally open.
"Forget about Coffee Man troubles - tell me what's bothering you about Max."
Lorelai takes a huge gulp of her java as she ponders what to say about Max.
"Max. Max Max Max."
"Repetition. Not a good sign."
"I'm going to say 'yes.'"
"I guess I was miles off of *that* target."
Lorelai looks at her friend as she stares back, speechless.
"So?"
"Yes."
"Yes, a repetition of my answer to the proposal? Yes, I heard you Lorelai? Or yes, I have control over my voice now?!"
Sookie shakes her head. "I'm sorry, sweetie." She jumps up from her seat and hugs her friend, giving her a reassuring smile. "I guess I was just a little shocked, that's all. What with the way you've been acting lately…"
"Grumpy?"
"Not just that. You've been… I don't know… weird."
"Ah yes. Lorelai Gilmore, weird. That is so out of the ordinary. Call the cops, cause something's going down."
"You know what I mean. You haven't been yourself, lately."
"Well, Sookie - I recently received a proposal of marriage from a very worthy, incredible man who loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't see why on Earth I could possibly be acting different from how I normally act."
"So it's 'yes.'"
"It's 'yes.'"
"And you're happy."
"Ecstatic." Lorelai relaxes her face and smiles.
"Then I say we celebrate!"
"Great idea! And we will… *after* I tell the groom."
"How are you going to do it?" Sookie scoots closer to Lorelai, oozing her usual giddy excitement.
"The Romantic Stroll Through the Park Routine."
"Ah ha. Yes. Simple yet sweet. Private and personal yet open and spacious."
"You think it's a good idea?"
"I think it's a great idea, sweetie. Is it set for tonight?"
"I think so. I haven't talked to Max yet."
"And you've given this a lot of thought?"
"Of course I've given this a lot of thought! What do you think I've been doing these past few days, playing Parcheesi?"
"I know you've thought about this. You're Lorelai. I'm just asking you if you're absolutely, positively sure this is what you want."
"This is what I want. I want someone, Sookie. I want someone worthy and special and wonderful enough to be a part of my life and Rory's. Max is romantic. He's thoughtful and funny and smart and handsome."
"Well so is Jon Stewart, but I don't see you standing outside of The Daily Show pleading with him to make your life a fairy tale and play daddy for Rory."
Lorelai jabs her finger at Sookie for emphasis. "You know very well that Jon Stewart is too short for me. The wedding pictures would look weird. Plus… he's married now. I would consider that an obstacle."
"You get my point. Max is a lot of things that a lot of guys can be. What makes Max stand above the rest? What makes him the answer for you?"
"One thousand daisies?"
"That's a start… but are you going to say forever to someone just because he sent you a truck load of flowers?"
Lorelai looks at her friend with a fallen face, seriously thinking about what's been put out there.
Sookie thinks about how she's been trying to skirt the very issue she is about to bring up. She goes ahead, knowing it really is for the best. At least, that's what she tells herself.
"Let me ask you this, and don't get mad at me."
"Never a good way to start, Sookie."
"Have you ever thought that what's bothering you about this, about you marrying Max, is your attachment to Luke?"
"Luke and I are good friends," Lorelai says defensively. "I'm beginning to feel like a broken record these days. You, Max, my mother..."
"I know you don't want to think about it, Lorelai, but your feelings for Luke..." Sookie stops, deciding to try something else. "Luke says one harsh thing to you and you're near tears, sweetie. You don't see him for one day and you feel strange. And it's not about getting the coffee," Sookie says, feeling Lorelai start to interrupt. "You go to the diner everyday because you like talking to him. You're not bickering, you're flirting. Luke is a
major part of your life and when you're with Max, Luke is still there in the back of your mind. So obviously, until you address the whole Luke issue and clear up your own feelings for him, you're going to have doubts about Max."
"You couldn't be more wrong. You're Michael Jackson getting one more facelift wrong."
"Okay..."
Lorelai is staring at a spot on the floor, blank and frighteningly calm. She slowly looks up at Sookie.
"You're wrong." Her voice is wavering. Sookie notices her insecurities so she feels compelled to leave her alone for the time being. She needs to figure this out for herself.
She looks at Lorelai and nods. Lorelai grabs her purse and begins to walk out of the kitchen.
"Lorel…"
"I'll talk to you later."
Sookie wasn't too worried about their friendship. Lorelai sounded more confused than angry. She wasn't that worried about Lorelai either. She knew she'd get this straightened out. Lorelai Gilmore is nothing if not determined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai stumbles out of that debacle with the intent to flee. Dramatically if possible. She wanted to get in her car and drive. She didn't know where, some place where it was just her and her thoughts. It was time to confront this jumbled mess.
She passes Michel and forces herself to hold back the viciously funny comment she has about his tie, throwing a finger up in the process. "No. No speaking. I'm leaving. I'll be back in a... I'll be back."
"But Your Highness, Prince Charming is on the phone." His accent flows out of his mouth thick and heavy - he must be in an extraordinarily grouchy, patron-hating mood today.
Lorelai turns on her heels and looks at the phone in Michel's hand. For a split second - maybe four-fifths of a second - Lorelai pictures Luke's face at the other end of the phone. This just makes her want to flee even faster. But she doesn't move an inch.
Michel looks at her expectedly. "And to my bewilderment, he's asking for you."
Lorelai stands there, looking at the receiver, which is now being impatiently waved in front of her.
"Well?! "
Silence while Lorelai continues the staring contest with the phone and Michel's blood pressure rises.
"I hold this *thing* for hours on end in your establishment. If I hold it any longer I will receive some sort of disease with which I will press charges for physical endangerment in an occupational setting."
Lorelai doesn't take her eyes off of the phone, but she takes her hands, which were previously hovering around her mouth in a nervous manner, and quickly grabs the phone from Michel. She turns away from him and takes a deep breath.
*Humph* "Not even the slightest acknowledgement of my existence. I wonder if that constitutes for emotional distress..." Michel mumbles a few more choice words and walks away.
Lorelai puts the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"
"Lorelai. It's Max."
"Max!"
"How are you?"
"How am I?"
"Yes."
"I... am...."
A few moments pass and Max stiffens up. "Silent."
Lorelai lets out a nervous laugh. "Tired."
Max smiles, relieved. For a second there, he thought she'd hand him the old "we have to talk." Don't scare me like that, Lorelai.
"Lorelai, is something..."
"Nothing's wrong. Sorry. Things... things are just a little distracting at the Inn right now..." Lorelai looks around for sources of loud busy sounds - the place was dead.
Noise. Need noise, Lorelai thinks to herself.
Lorelai grabs a stapler near her and drops it back on the counter. At the same time she takes her other hand and flings a few pens against the wall. After swiftly ringing the bell a few frantic times, she then takes the papers near by and ruffles through them, inadvertedly giving herself a paper cut.
"Ouch. Damn."
"Lorelai?"
"Yes. Sorry. I'm fine."
"You don't *sound* fine."
"What is it with me and not *sounding* a particular happy-go-lucky way? Everyone should get their ears checked, because I have excellent hearing and I'm hearing myself and I sound *fine*!"
"My ears apologize."
"Your voice should, too." Lorelai feels the tension and regrets her explosive hormones.
"You know…"
"I'm sorry Max. Really, I am. It's just…"
"Need some coffee?"
Lorelai's throat falls into her stomach and her heart down to her feet. "Coffee?"
"Yeah. Hot brown liquid. Part of your blood stream. Wouldn't be surprised if you dream more about coffee than me..."
"How do *you* know what I dream about. For all you know I could be dreaming about... purple iguanas!"
"That really isn't surprising."
"You see me as the purple iguana type gal, huh?"
"No. I've just learned that when it comes to Lorelai Gilmore - expect the unexpected. So I expect purple iguanas to replace me in your subconscious."
"They didn't quite *replace*... oh, what am I do... why, why did you call?" Lorelai stumbles with her words and grasps the phone a little tighter, biting her lower lip.
"I just wanted to see how the woman I love is doing. And... I wanted..." Max loses his nerve. What he really wanted was to ask her about the proposal. He wanted to banter and exchange witty innuendo. He wanted to then use his wordsmith abilities to approach the topic - subtly and openly. But he froze. Something didn't feel right. She needed more time. "I wanted to say 'I love you' and I'm thinking of you. There... still distracted?"
Lorelai can't help but smile. This man loves her. Why the hell does he have to be so *endearing* all the time?! "Well... yes. But by something entirely different. Will I see you tonight?"
"Do you want to see me tonight?"
"I do."
"Tell me where and when and I'm there."
Lorelai thinks for a second and makes a decision. Again. "Stars Hollow Park. Eight o'clock."
"I'm there."
"Wow. That was quick."
Max laughs. "I'll see you tonight."
"I'll see you." She hesitates then hangs up the phone, letting go of a sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max Medina walks into a coffee bar in Hartford, sitting down to drink a cup of something foamy and ponder the possibilities of what is wrong with Lorelai.
Max sits on a stool near the counter and asks for a grande latte, extra foam. He takes out the ring and looks at it sitting in its case. The ring. The ring he hopes will adorn Lorelai Gilmore's finger very soon. His hopes are high, but as he sits there thinking about their recent uncomfortable conversation, he wonders whether or not his hopes are in vain.
As he moves the ring around to observe its sparkle, a woman sits down next to him, sighing.
"Mocha java, please."
"Whipped cream on top," the eyebrow-studded young man behind the counter asks.
"Sure. I need the added sugar."
She looks over at Max and smiles. He smiles back and asks, "Tough day?"
"Tough past few weeks." She sticks out her hand, "My name's Rachel."
"Max."
"Nice to meet you, Max." Rachel's eye catches the glittering stone before her. "You look like a man in love." Her head nods toward the ring.
"Oh. Well…" Max looks a bit too sad as he closes the case and puts the ring back in his pocket. "I am."
"When do you plan on popping the question?"
"I already have."
"Oh."
"Long story."
"I'm sure it's romantic."
"In it's own twisted way, yes."
"Why do you still have the ring?"
"The question popping was kind of abrupt, so…"
"I see." She looks over and smiles at the forlorn man. "She's going to love it."
"I hope so." He seems a little more hopeful as he looks up at Rachel.
"Did she say yes?"
"Not yet. I didn't give her a chance to. I told her I wanted her to think about it. "
"Very diplomatic of you."
"Thanks. If only it didn't eat me up inside, I'd feel more like a gentleman."
"Very understandable." Rachel thinks for a second. "You know... I feel like confessing something."
"Confess away."
"I'm a photographer and well... I took a picture of you looking at the ring from back there..." Rachel nods in the direction of the door of the cafe. "And I have to say, you didn't really..." Rachel frowns, unsure of how to put it.
"... look like a man in love?"
"No. That's not it..."
"No, that's ok."
"Maybe... more of the other way around?"
"I looked dejected."
"I guess you could say that."
"You're very perceptive." Max nods at Rachel.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. She hasn't rejected me... yet. It just feels... off. I really care about her. I love her. I should stop letting my doubts and fears get in the way of the possibility to be happy with this woman, though."
"You're right. You're so right... I know someone that should take that very advice."
"Really?"
"Yeah. A good friend of mine. I tried to tell him in my own way, but he has to find out for himself, ya know?"
"Yes. I do." Max grabs his latte from Stud Boy.
"My friend - he's in love with this woman, and it took me, his ex-girlfriend, to snap him out of a huge amount of denial and face the facts."
"Wow. That must have been hard for you, being close to him yourself."
"It was. At first, I was jealous. I came back to try and rebuild our relationship again. I was serious. I was determined. But… I could tell that things had changed. She brings things out in him I never could."
"And what did he do with this realization?"
"Actually - I don't know. I told him that he shouldn't wait too long to tell her, but… knowing him he's still waiting. He'll probably be waiting for a while, and soon enough, he'll have lost his chance."
Max sits in silence, thinking about the point Rachel drove home with her story about that misguided, cowardly friend of hers. The best time is here and now - don't let any more time go by without showing Lorelai how you feel, Max tells himself. This is what I want. I want to be married to her - enough waiting.
Metal Head comes back with Rachel's mocha java.
"Thank you." Rachel takes the hot beverage in her hands. "It's funny… Luke hates coffee with a passion and both the women he's loved are horribly addicted to it."
"Hmm." Max laughs and smiles at her, oblivious of what was just said. "I should take some back to my girlfriend, Lorelai. Coffee's always a guaranteed ice breaker with her."
"Lorelai?"
"Yeah. Lorelai Gilmore. She lives in Stars Hollow... small town close to Hartford."
"Uhhh…" Rachel begins to shake her head and look at her watch, terrified of what she might have just caused. "I… wow… I have to get going. It was really nice meeting you, Max."
She gets up and shakes his free hand.
"It was nice… meeting you, Rachel." Max looks confused, stumbling over his words.
"Good luck with your girlfriend," she says as she breezes out of the café.
"Thank you," Max says to… well, no one since Rachel's already out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Lorelai got off the phone with Max and after she escaped the clutches of a malice-wielding Michel, she dashed to her car and drove. She didn't know where she wanted to go. Well - she knew where she *wanted* to go, but decided that Australia was a little too far away just to avoid your problems. Plus, Rory would be jealous.
So instead of relaxing on a beach near Sydney, she's now sitting on the rotting steps of her dream. That's not an attempt to be poetic - there really are steps. They're connected to what will someday be an inn. A great inn. A beautiful, magical, adored inn filled with people. Very happy people.
Someday, Lorelai mentally sighs. I'll show the world. World, of course, meaning Emily Gilmore. I'll have my inn. I'll have my ecstatically-happy-Harvard-attending young daughter. I'll have my … what have I always wanted? Oh yes - perfectly understanding, increasingly caring, eternally warm, bitingly witty, absolutely irresistible man. A man who will be life affirming and generous. A man who will give me coffee beans instead of flowers to make up for that disastrous comment he made the night before.
Hmm. Not that one thousand daisies aren't extremely romantic and thoughtful and wonderful. I didn't mean that in the least when I just said that.
I'm sure anything that the man I love does will make me happy. What is happiness anyway? That is a very good question - but not one that a mentally unstable person such as myself could really be expected to answer.
Lorelai wistfully plays with some dandelions that are growing around the front steps. While trying to focus on something other than her own thoughts, she happens to focus on other people's thoughts. That did not help in the slightest.
She could hear her mother's strained voice spouting accusations. "This man was at Rory's birthday party, he came to the hospital with you, he's the male lead in every story you tell, you go to the diner every single day. I've seen the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. I'm not a fool."
Sookie's tender, but unnerving words are also brought to mind. "My point is that you called Luke. Out of all the people in town that you could have called that would have come over and dropped what they were doing, you called Luke."
Let's be honest, Lorelai - Okay. Okay, so I may have feelings for two men at the same time. That happens, right? All right. This is what I do… I go to Luke. I ask him… what do I ask him? Do I ask him, hey do you love me? Do I ask him why it is that he seems to break his strict code of conduct - new clothes, people behind his counter, redecorating even if it's unnoticeable redecorating - only for me? Closing his life's work on a whim because I need someone to drive me to a hospital. Would he do that for anyone else? Should I ask him these things?
After I horribly embarrass myself and possibly ruin my wonderful friendship with Luke, I go to Max. I then proceed to horribly embarrass myself and ruin whatever relationship we could have together.
Then, I go to Hartford. Track down the most acclaimed psychoanalyst within a 60 mile radius - I'm sure my mother could be a big help for once - and have myself committed.
This is simple. And I'm being silly. If it's taking me this long and this many Advils to come to any sort of "conclusion" then… well…
Lorelai stands up quickly and heads back to her car. When she gets to the door she turns to look at the crumbly building before her.
"This is going to be one hell of an inn," she says with a smile as hops in her car to make her way to Luke's.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai walks up to Luke's door. She turns around. Walks back five steps. She turns around again. She makes it a teeny bit closer to his door the second time only to turn around again. The third time, thinking it's the charm, she walks faster and more determined. She's an arm's length away from the door when a brown suit catches her eye.
Max appears around the corner.
"Lorelai!"
"Max. Hi."
He walks up to her with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.
"Coffee break?"
"Yeah. Sookie hasn't been keeping up with the supply lately. What are you doing here?"
"I was actually on my way to the Inn to catch you by surprise."
"Ah, well you're ahead of yourself, because you caught me by surprise here!"
"I see that. I was thinking about picking you up some coffee in hopes that it would brighten your disastrous day at work."
"That's very considerate of you."
Max looks at the door they're standing in front of. "Well seeing as though we are where we are right now… would you like me to buy you some coffee?"
Lorelai looks at the door and back at Max. "Umm… sure. Thanks."
Max and Lorelai enter the diner and take a seat at the nearest table. Lorelai sees Luke pick up the phone that's ringing on the counter. She breathes a sigh of relief that he has yet to notice them.
Max touches Lorelai's hand to get her attention. "Tell me what's wrong."
"What's wrong? What do you mean 'what's wrong'?"
"You're not yourself."
"Who am I then, Rosa Parks?"
Max makes a face at her random remark. "You know what I mean. You didn't… well you didn't seem that happy to see me. I just want to know whether or not your mood is being effected by something more than a bad day at work, that's all."
Lorelai is again looking over at Luke, more intrigued as ever since he was secretly huddled over the receiver. He took his cap off and ran his fingers through his hair. Something he only did when he was nervous. Or, of course, when he was increasingly exasperated with Taylor's ranting at the town meetings. Since the setting was his diner, Lorelai guessed the former.
"Lorelai?!"
She turns suddenly, embarrassed about her staring episode. "What?!"
"Why were you staring at Luke?"
"I was not staring at Luke."
"What were you staring at then?"
"If you must know… the new batch of muffins he has placed out on the counter. I was mulling over whether or not to get one."
"Ah. I see." Max is seriously unimpressed.
"Blueberry to be exact."
"Uh-huh."
Max looks earnestly at Lorelai. "Let's get serious for a moment. I have something I want to talk to you about and I think we need to talk about it this very instant before I go completely crazy…"
Max is about to continue when Luke steps up to the table.
"Hello you two. What will it be?" His eyes are low and desperately trying not to focus on anything near either one of their faces.
Max sighs and takes his hand away from Lorelai's. "We'll both have coffee."
"Is that all?" Luke's eyes look over at Lorelai for a split second to see her examining him and squinting in confusion.
"Yes, that's it. Thank you, Luke," Max huffs.
"No!" Lorelai speaks up a tad too much like a person being electrocuted.
Max looks hesitantly at her. "Changed your mind?"
"Yes. I mean, no. Just coffee. I umm… just wanted to ask you, Luke… I'm curious… who was it you were talking to on the phone?"
Still not making direct prolonged eye contact, Luke sulks. "It's none of your business."
"I agree. But that doesn't diminish my curiosity. Who was it you were talking to?"
"Must you know everything that's going on in someone's life, Lorelai? I mean honestly… you're crossing the line to join the Miss Patty's of the world."
"Information is a highly valuable thing. It is the Miss Patty's of this world that will one day rule over all the uniformed recluses."
"And it is the Miss Patty's that will suck all the liberty and privacy individuals have in this country."
"Miss Patty has been referenced *way* too many times in this discussion. Back to my point. All I'm saying is, you look jumpy."
"I'm not jumpy."
"You look uneasy, then."
"I'm perfectly easy."
Lorelai just smirks at his comment. Luke sighs and rolls his eyes.
"I'm fine, Lorelai. Thanks for the concern, but it's unnecessary." Untrue to his words, Luke continues to tap his pencil nervously on the pad of paper he's holding.
Lorelai doesn't give up. What a surprise. "Ok, buddy. You're dead wrong." She points at the pencil, exposing his jitters. "I don't think I've seen you this nervous since… well, since Rachel was in town."
At that, Luke's pencil stops in mid tap. And what Lorelai doesn't notice, since she's looking at Luke, is that Max's eyes inexplicably light up. He looks up at Luke with a new and frightening understanding.
Lorelai's finger makes a jabbing motion toward Luke. "That's it! It was Rachel, wasn't it?!"
"I'm getting your coffee."
"Awww, come on, Luke!" Lorelai looks over at Max. "I *have* to go get the low down on this. It sounds big. I'll be right back." She is partly out of her seat when she notices the look on Max's face. She stops, taken aback.
"Max? What's wrong?"
The silence said enough.
To be continued…