Title: "Last Breaths and First Steps," Part Five to Cornerstones of
Confusion
Author: Barb
Last time (a million years ago), on Cornerstones of Confusion.
Lorelai's finger makes a jabbing motion toward Luke. "That's it! It was Rachel, wasn't it?!"
"I'm getting your coffee."
"Awww, come on, Luke!" Lorelai looks over at Max. "I *have* to go get the low down on this. It sounds big. I'll be right back." She is partly out of her seat when she notices the look on Max's face. She stops, taken aback.
"Max? What's wrong?"
The silence said enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max takes a deep breath and looks around, gathering his thoughts. After a few moments, he turns his attention back to Lorelai, chuckling a bit sardonically. Lorelai eyes him, not sure of what's about to happen.
"Max?" She prompts him, not liking the feeling of being a deer caught in the headlights, seeing the car and not moving a muscle.
"Nothing... it's just... it all makes sense now, that's all."
"What makes sense?"
"Everything. All of this."
"Umm... okay. I think you're going to have to be more specific, 'cause that whole making sense thing... kind of *not* making sense." Lorelai laughs nervously.
"I just... it's funny, really. I came here today for a reason and now..." He pulls at his necktie, leaning back in his seat. He sits back up two seconds later, tapping his fingers against the table. "I think we should get out of here. Take a walk?"
Lorelai begins to laugh, attempting to brush his request off. "Max. Come on. we just ordered coffee. Getting Luke to agree to distribute the magic brew is a feat not easily managed... once you win, walking away without the coffee would be sacrilege." Max is not amused. With a serious expression on her face she prepares herself for the fall. "Clearly not the time for humor," she mumbles, then looks straight into Max's eyes, deciding to meet him head on. "Max. whatever you want to talk about, we can talk it about here."
Max considers protesting, then decides to let Lorelai have her way. "Fine. We'll talk about it here. It's more fitting anyway." Max pauses for a moment. "You know, I was in that coffee shop today... the one where we bumped into each other?"
"You were?" Lorelai says with a faint smile.
"Yeah, I was," Max replies. "And I was sitting there and thinking about you. This random woman sat down next to me and before I knew it I was telling her all about you, and how wonderful you are, and... and suddenly all I wanted to do was come here and tell you how much I love you and how badly I want you to marry me. I was all set to... I was prepared to convince you that..."
"Max..." Lorelai starts, but he stops her.
"But I've realized something. I can fight all I want to, but it'll all be in vain. Because I can't win your heart, it's not something... I can be your knight in shining armor, but it won't matter because you prefer plaid shirts and coffee pots to flashy costumes and valiantly drawn swords."
"That's not..." Lorelai begins, leaning over and reaching for his hands, but she pulls back feeling helpless. "I don't see where this is coming from. What have I done to..."
"Lorelai, it's not what you've done, it's what you've *not* done. You haven't been honest with yourself."
"I am nothing if not honest," Lorelai retorts, trying to negate his serious words. The tension and the seriousness was getting too much to handle, partially because deep down she knew that if Max hadn't given her this surprise visit, she'd be talking to Luke about the same exact issues right now.
"Lorelai... I would give anything to believe you."
"But you don't."
"Something feels wrong, and I can't go on with you like this if you're not being honest with me. or with yourself. I'm not going to have you make a decision about us. I don't think you can right now. I'm going to walk out of here and I will not make any more attempts to reach you. I care so much about you, Lorelai. I love you. I would hope that you at least know that much. But I'm walking out of here and if you really want me in your life. you make the effort. If after a while, I never hear from you, then. well."
Max gets up from his seat, looking hurt and dejected. Tears are freely rolling down Lorelai's cheeks.
"Max, don't do this. I..."
Max turns around and walks back to the table. He looks down at Lorelai, who finds it hard to bear to look up at him.
Max says in a hushed voice, "Lor... we both know who you love. And it's not me."
At that moment, Luke comes back out of the kitchen, heading over toward Lorelai and Max with a fresh pot of coffee in hand. Max glances at him, part of him feeling angry, hurt, and envious, but the other part of him feeling calm because he knows. He knows that if he can't be the one to make Lorelai happy, this guy can, and will. If the two of them ever realize it. Without saying anything, Max turns and walks out of the diner.
"What just happened?" Luke asks quietly, looking down at the stunned and silent Lorelai. She shakes her head slowly, then looks up at him.
"Better make that coffee to go," Lorelai finally manages to say, standing up. "I... I have to go somewhere."
"Ok." Luke looks at her as she fidgets, avoiding his eyes and fighting the emotions that are rising to the surface. He gently grabs her arm, startling her. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Her watery eyes look at him and something seems to break. She can barely get the words out. "I have to go." And with that she turns and leaves the diner with Luke still holding the coffee pot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai bursts into the kitchen at Independence Inn with a confused conscious and shaking hands.
"Sookie." Lorelai's voice is wavering and instantly her friend shows concern.
"Lorelai! What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Well. time will tell, I guess."
"What happened with Luke?"
"Nothing. Nothing happened with Luke." With a pained look on her face, she begins to pace the floor.
"Honey, what happened? Did you get to talk to him? Did you."
"I didn't get a chance to talk to him. I was too busy talking to someone else."
"Who? ... Kirk?"
Lorelai stops pacing and stares intently at her friend. "Yes, Sookie. Kirk. His fascinating tales about life as a traveling man had me in complete awe. I couldn't find it in me to tear myself away."
After a moment's realization, Sookie catches on. "Oh. Max. Oh no, what was he." Sookie goes to comfort her, but Lorelai pulls back slightly.
"I ran into him outside of the diner. I can't believe it, Sookie. Five seconds before I was going to enter that diner, demanding to talk to Luke about his possible feelings for me and my. possible. feelings. and well. there he comes around the corner. This did *not* go the way I had planned."
"Things rarely do, sweetie."
"I mean. I wanted to figure out what I was really feeling and thinking before jumping into this and all of a sudden. the decision is being made for me!"
"He called it off?"
"Not exactly. He left me with the decision to make the next move, but. what he said to me I can't. it's over."
"He didn't treat you. Lor, he didn't attack you did he?"
"No. No, he wasn't mean, really. He did accuse me, though. He accused me of not being honest. And he was right. He was right, Sookie." Lorelai looks absolutely mad at herself as she clenches her fists.
"Honest about what?"
"Honest about everything. My insecurities, my fear of commitment, my doubts about our relationship . my feelings for Luke."
"He brought up Luke?"
"Not in so many words. He. burst out saying something about how I prefer 'plaid shirts and coffee pots' to 'knights in shining armor.' And when he left. he said. 'we both know who you love and it's not me.' Can you believe him? How can he know that, when I don't even know for sure myself. *Love*, Sookie! Love is such a strong word. Where did he get. why did he feel so strongly about my supposed infatuation with Luke that he couldn't fight for me anymore?"
"Maybe he saw something that you didn't?"
"Well, it seems like that's been happening for a long time, doesn't it? I don't know."
As tears continue their way down Lorelai's cheeks, Sookie's heart aches for her friend.
"Honey. you should go home. Take the rest of the day off. Relax, gather your thoughts."
Lorelai sniffles and brushes her hair off of her face. "I want nothing to do with my thoughts right now."
"Well, then skip the gathering, just kick 'em away with your feet and forget about thinking all together."
"Good idea."
"An even better one is if, after I'm done here, I come visit you and fix you dinner."
"Awww, Sookie, that's very sweet of you and I understand how being my best friend right now is a great opportunity to ease pain with enormous amounts of food, but. I'm gonna have to say no. I think I need this time for myself."
"Lorelai, are you sure? I think it's easier to kick away those pesky thoughts when you have two pairs of feet."
"I appreciate your concern, honey, you know I do, but." Lorelai picks up her purse and looks back at Sookie.
"Yeah. I understand." Lorelai begins to leave and Sookie directs a finger at her. "But you know that I might very well not listen to you and come anyway."
Lorelai smiles. "I know." Lorelai gives her a quick, but tight hug before heading home. Sookie stands in her kitchen, watching Lorelai go with a sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai walks into a dark house. She drops her purse on the ground and leans back against the door. Running a hand over her face and taking a deep breath, she walks over and turns on a light.
"Rory?"
The silence sets in and she remembers that Rory planned on staying at Lane's tonight, leaving Lorelai to have her romantic evening with Max.
The phone rings, making Lorelai jump.
Please let it be Rory... please let it be Rory...
When she finally finds the phone under a pile of dirty laundry on the living room floor, she tries her best to compose herself before answering.
"Hello?"
"Lorelai."
Oh dear God, no. "Mom."
"Were you planning on waiting until your wedding day to tell me of this engagement? Maybe your ten year anniversary?!"
Lorelai fought the urge to scream... and lost.
"Ahhhh! How... how..."
"Word gets around, Lorelai. I just can't believe that I am probably the last person in all of Stars Hollow and Hartford combined that knows that my daughter is engaged, and to..."
"Mom! Listen - I am *not* engaged! I was *never* engaged! I never said 'yes,' and he will never ask, ever again, so you can go about your life as it was before and continue to complain about how *unfortunate* it is that I have no one in my life."
"Lorelai..." Emily's tone is more disturbed and condescending than anything else.
My God, can this woman ever show some sympathy?!
"Goodnight, Mother."
Lorelai hangs up and goes into the kitchen to make some coffee. She picks up the coffee pot and stares at it. All of a sudden, Sookie's words come back to haunt her.
"Coffee is Luke substitute."
She sets the coffee pot down, and looks at it as if it could jump up and bite her.
Wandering into the dim living room, she decides a nap might be a novel idea. If the world won't let her forget, she'll forget about the world for a while.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The dinner crowd is dying down and Luke finds himself alone with his thoughts. Here's what his thoughts are pretty much saying to him:
On one hand, he couldn't be more relieved and thrilled to see Max walk out of that door and perhaps out of Lorelai's life forever. On the other hand, he hates the fact that it hurt Lorelai so much to see him go. And on some third hand that materialized out of nowhere, he is fearfully but hopefully scheming the possibilities that lie ahead.
Luke is startled from his trance when the door to the diner opens.
He is surprised to see Sookie walking up to his counter.
"Hi, Luke."
"Hello, Sookie. What are you doing here?"
"Getting something to eat. What do you think I'm doing here?"
"Nothing. I mean, we all know you can cook for yourself, Sookie. And plus, you usually only eat here when you're with Lorelai."
Luke's strained voice at the end of that sentence does not go unnoticed by Sookie. He studies her as she sits down in front of him, silently.
"Oh jeez, don't tell me this is an ambush!" Luke grumbles. "I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I will *not* buy those stupid little parsley leaves to decorate my dishes! My dishes are unadorned. They're simple and to the point. They have food on them. You eat the food. Period."
Luke ends his rant and notices the blank look on Sookie's face.
"No. parsley ambush?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Your argument was very convincing, though."
"Sorry."
Sookie laughs. "That's. it's okay."
"So. what would you like?"
"Coffee and one fabulous piece of apple pie, please?"
"Coming right up." Luke pours her a cup of coffee and goes to get the pie. "Heated?"
"Ohhhh, yes. Thank you."
"Yup."
"Oh and. you know, could you add some vanilla ice cream to the side of it?"
"Uhh. sure. Yeah, I think I have some vanilla."
"Oh, oh, do you happen to have cinnamon swirl ice cream? It's best homemade, but if."
"Sookie." Luke glares at her. And it's a stern glare.
"Right. Yes, sorry."
"Yeah." Her brings her the heated pie. "I'll go get that ice cream."
Sookie nods sheepishly. With Luke out of glaring range, she decides to strike up her previously intended conversation.
"So, Luke?!"
"Yeah?!" Luke hollers from the back, sounds of general rummaging coming out from the kitchen.
"Sooooo. now that Max is out of the picture, how long are you going to wait to ask Lorelai out?"
Almost instantly, the sound of something very large and very metallic hitting the floor comes from Luke's direction. Sookie winces and prepares herself for what's to come next. Luckily there are only two other people in the diner besides Luke and Sookie, and they are both out of towners. Luke can't use that against her.
After a moment of no Luke emerging from the vicinity of the clanging, Sookie begins to worry.
"Luke? Luke, are you okay back there?"
Luke appears with a dumbfounded look on his face and the vanilla ice cream in his possession. Sookie smiles innocently and cocks her head to the side.
"So? You think... maybe... next week?"
Luke sets the ice cream down with a thud. "You're batty."
"And you're avoiding the obvious, Luke."
"I'm not avoiding anything!" Luke mumbles under his breath, "I knew you had to have an ulterior motive."
Sookie just shakes her head and gently lays it on the coffee man. "You're avoiding *her*, Luke. You're avoiding your feelings for her. Have been for years."
"I do *not* need to be hearing this from you, Sookie."
"I guess I'll just have to keep on stating the obvious, because you keep on avoiding it. You love her, Luke. We all know you do."
"You... you don't understand... I..."
Sookie makes her head do a funny little thing that insinuates the need for him to continue his thought. "You... ?"
"It's complicated, Sookie. You know that."
"What's complicated?"
"Stuff."
"Feelings stuff."
"Complicated ruining-of-a-friendship-that's-built-up-over-years kind of stuff." Luke runs his hand over his cap, looking away from Sookie. She continues to stare at him questioningly, and he waves her off. "Forget it."
"You can't go the rest of your life knowing you love her and not letting that come out, Luke. You're going to explode one of these days! It's inevitable!"
"Why are you telling me this? Lorelai just got walked-out-on by her. what might have possibly been her fiancé. and you're telling me that I should just ask her out?!"
"No, not necessarily. Just. don't let this one go by and think that the next one will go by too, and the one after that, and the one after that. Stop dreaming up the day that it will just *happen*. Because you know that you'll just keep dreaming and Lorelai will just keep on living her life. oblivious to the fact that you lo."
Luke shoots his beady eyes of steel..
"Care very much for her. Now, how this woman could be completely oblivious boggles my mind, but she's working with some major form of denial that has yet."
"Sookie!"
Sookie jumps and looks at Luke. Who just happens to look like the saddest man on Earth.
"Please. stop."
"I'm just trying to help."
"I know. But I don't need to be told what I should and should not do when it comes to Lorelai. It's not that easy."
Sookie dolefully gets out of her seat and pays him for the coffee and pie, which she didn't even touch. Luke's staring at the counter as she says one last thing.
"Don't forget. No matter what you feel for her, you're still her friend, Luke."
Luke's eyes furtively glance up at Sookie's comment. She turns with a sad look on her face and exits the diner, leaving Luke alone with his thoughts once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oompa loompa... oomp... euhhh." Lorelai sighs deeply, cuddles closer to the blankets around her and stares dejectedly at the screen in front of her. "It's not the same without Rory. Oompas aren't nearly as funny without someone to share the sarcasm." She lets go of another sigh. "Blah."
A tentative knock at the door startles Lorelai. She doesn't move, just looks up at the door expectantly.
"Oh. Sookie, honey... I told you you didn't need to come over here."
She reluctantly pushes the blankets off of her and gets off the couch in a huff.
"I'm all right. I swear. The Oompas make good company."
She shuffles her feet as she walks toward the front door to let her friend in.
"They're small. And plump. And they love to snuggle." She makes it to the door, unlocks it and opens it slowly with her tired effort. "... I'm thinking of buying one on the black market. I hear... Luke!"
There standing at the door was Luke. He had a brown bag in his arms. His mouth was agape with something he wanted to say but it just didn't seem to want to come out.
Lorelai stood there looking at him. Her face showed surprise, as well as a hint of a smile. He continued to look stuck.
"Wait a second... is this the Luke Doll I ordered a month ago?" She's about to poke him when he finally moves and stumbles on his intended words.
"I... umm... I just..."
"Oh! He moves! Even better!"
"I... brought you something to eat." He holds out the paper bag. The smell of cheeseburgers and chili fries finds it way to Lorelai.
"You didn't need to."
"I know."
"Oh. Well..." Lorelai was sitting on the question of why exactly Luke decided to make this rare visit.
"I uhh... I had a feeling you wouldn't be eating any... and I didn't want you to not..." Luke stumble on the half-lie that's coming out of his mouth and Lorelai comes to his rescue.
"Thank you," she says softly, almost as if she doesn't realize she's saying it. She takes the food from Luke.
He walks in and as she closes the door they're inches away from each other. He looks down at her face.
"Your eyes. they're red."
Lorelai sighs. "Yeah. Well. I'm ok."
Luke nods unconvincingly.
"Let me rephrase that. I *will* be ok."
"Ok." Luke looks down at Lorelai's apprehensive face. Lorelai holds herself there for a second and then with a shake of her head, she moves to the kitchen.
Luke follows her and starts to make a pot of coffee while she's taking the food out of the bag.
Lorelai peers over behind her back. "You're... making coffee!"
"What? You don't want some?"
"No. Of course I do."
"Ok then." Luke smiles and continues his important task. "So... what are you going to buy on the black market?"
"What?" Lorelai is already munching on a fry, feeling better by the second.
"When you opened the door, you were rambling about buying something on the..."
"Ah yes. An Oompa Loompa."
"Ahh."
"So you've seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?"
"Um hum." Luke finishes making the coffee and takes a seat across from her, grabbing a wrapped cheeseburger.
Lorelai studies him intently. The way he is avoiding any eye contact gives him away immediately.
"No you haven't."
"No I haven't what?" No eye contact.
"Watched Willy Wonka. Liar." Lorelai snickers at him while unwrapping her burger.
"Have too."
"You're just trying to get out of watching it with me."
Luke screws his face in a typical getting-ready-to-complain fashion. "Well... can you blame me? Oompa Loompas? If those characters are in any way supposed to be taken seriously I might just run away screaming from the TV."
"They aren't supposed to be taken seriously. You're supposed to laugh at their freakish coloring and jolly merriment."
Luke pops a fry into his mouth and mumbles, "Oh, then it sounds like a definite possibility for my own Top Ten list of movies."
Luke lifts his head and prepares to give her his "look-of-gruffy-sarcasm," but her gaze stops him cold.
Lorelai's warm, grateful smile softens Luke's demeanor. She tilts her head and her smile broadens. He senses that she wants to ask him something. He freezes, still looking into her eyes.
Something crosses over Lorelai's expression. Finally breaking Luke's gaze, she decides to let the planned interrogation go.
After a few moments of silent eating, the coffee pot makes its final loud bubbling noise. Lorelai instantly gets a dreamy look on her face.
"Don't you just love the sound of coffee brewing in the twilight hours?"
"Was that a rhetorical question?"
"Hmm." Lorelai slowly gets out of her seat so she can milk her pouty look for all its worth. She pours herself a large cup and grabs two plates from the cupboard.
"Why don't we move this shindig into the living room?"
"Living room?"
"Yeah. You know, room where the majority of the *living* goes on? I know your place is small, Luke, but I'm sure you designate one of your four corners 'the living room' and are familiar with the concept." Lorelai makes her way with food and vital nourishment in hand into her messy living room. "Besides, I can rewind ole Willy and you can once and for all witness the crazy candymaker at his best."
Lorelai gingerly turns around midstep to flash Luke a playful wink.
"I don't know why I'm going along with this."
"Ahh, it's because you love me."
A bitter wisecrack pops into Luke's mind as he mentally stumbles over her comment. He remains motionless as Lorelai casually takes a seat on the couch. She begins to rewind the tape and notices Luke still holding his food and towering off to her side.
"Hey buddy, take a seat." She pats the place next to her, but doesn't move an inch to give him any more room than a few mere centimeters away from her. He quickly shakes the look of fear on his face and plants himself firmly between Lorelai and the arm of the couch.
The music starts as the opening credits roll onto the screen.
Luke thinks to himself that sitting through this childish movie is a small sacrifice to be able to spend this time with Lorelai. He even attempts to appear interested.
"Hey. Gene Wilder is in this?"
"Yeah. He's Willy."
"Wasn't he in."
"Hear No Evil, See No Evil? Yeah."
"With."
"Richard Pryor."
"Yeah. You know, believe it or not, I know these things."
"Sorry. Got a little carried away. My nickname is Killer whenever I play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon."
"See, that would only work with me if the game dealt with food, or. or hardware. But not movies."
"So, like. Six Degrees of Bob Villa?"
Luke smiles. "Something like that."
Minutes go by. Food is eaten. Luke finally relaxes in his seat, and Lorelai occasionally slaps him on the shoulder for making rude remarks about the shape of Charlie's head. And they continue to sit next to each other, genuinely enjoying each other's company.
"Those people look like they're made of clay. It's disgusting."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Especially the mother. That woman does not look real. She looks like she belongs in a children's claymation special."
"Like you've had first-hand experience watching children's entertainment."
"I've seen my share of eerie, misshapen clay figures passing off as Christmas propaganda, yes."
"I bet you're a closet Rudolph fan."
"Nope. But I will admit I enjoy the Charlie Brown."
"Ah! Who doesn't? But that doesn't surprise me. I mean, of course you'd pick the quintessential example of anti-commercialism."
Luke laughs and turns his head. "That and the fact that that snot, Lucy, got what was coming to her when Snoopy, well, you know."
Only then does he notice that somewhere between "claymation special" and "Ah! Who doesn't," his arm made its sneaky little way to the back of the couch. And there it sat, resting directly behind Lorelai's back. Luke pushed away his instinct to slowly resituate himself so that he wouldn't be so uncomfortably comfortable with her. Instead, he threw caution to the wind by releasing a soft smile. And not moving a muscle.
Lorelai's eyes are led by Luke's and she too sees the apt placement of his right arm. Hmm, Mr. Danes, she says to herself. What exactly are you doing here?
She catches his eye once more and surprisingly, they hold still. The sound of the Candy Man singing his sugary song seems to be drifting to some other room. Her face is warm under Luke's unusual interest.
She tries her best to conceal the slightly nervous gulp that creeps in before her words. "Movie not tickling your fancy?"
That does it. Luke becomes Luke again. "Uh, no no, it's..," he stammers as he turns his head quickly to the screen, then the floor, then the table, then the screen again. Lorelai silently curses her big mouth. "It's very... well, different."
Lorelai uncomfortably shifts her attention to the screen as well, but a giddy smirk makes its way to her expression.
The ringing of the phone cuts through the room and both of them suck in startled breaths.
Please don't let it be my mother, please don't let it be my mother, Lorelai mentally chants. She finds the phone off to the side. She reaches for it, consciously trying to not move that far from what has been such a comfortable position. She looks at it quickly, and mutters, "Damn, I wish we had caller ID."
*Beep* "Hello?"
"I don't hear Billy Idol in the background."
"Rory. Sweetie. What's up?"
"'What's up?' Uh oh. What's wrong, Mom? I wasn't sure if I should call, but I took a chance and I wanted to see."
"Nothing's wrong, babe." Lorelai flounders with what to say. "We can talk when you get home."
Rory can hear it in her voice. "Something happened."
"It's okay . I'm okay. I just don't want to talk about it on the phone."
"I'm coming home, then."
"No! I mean." Lorelai steals a glance at Luke, who even though he's trying his best to look disinterested, is raptly listening to every word. "I need some time alo-." Luke's eyes dart over in her direction. "I need some time to think. I'm fine, believe me. You stay at Lane's for the night, and tomorrow morning we'll sit and have coffee and chat this whole thing out until our lungs collapse, our faces turn a grotesque shade of cerulean blue, and our tongues fall out of our mouths."
Lorelai notices the disgusted face on Luke, who is still "nonchalantly" staring at the television screen. Rory's verbal response is quite similar.
"Ewww."
"It's just a way of saying 'I mean business,' kiddo."
"Maybe next time you can just say 'And I mean business.'"
"Fair enough."
"Are you sure you're going to be okay tonight?"
"I'm positive."
"Call me at any time if you need me for anything, okay?"
"But you're at Lane's."
"Use her secret phone line."
"But even then, her mother would awaken from the shrill sound of the phone, think it's some sort of Lust Demon out to get the two unassuming teenage girls that are asleep in the house, and probably come barging into Lane's room with a broomstick. Or better yet, with the metal bat that is no doubt lying under her bed."
"We'll be in the closet, which Lane just recently had equipped with that bumpy foam used for soundproofing, so it's all good."
Lorelai smiles. "Okay, hon. Will do. I love you."
"Love you, too."
"Night."
"Night."
Lorelai hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath.
Luke ponders whether or not to make it known that he is well aware that she was about to say "I want to be alone" but couldn't. She was trying to give Rory good reason not to come over and interrupt their, uh, movie watching-- yes, he'll call it movie watching--without letting on to Luke that that was what she was trying to do. Of course, she failed miserably, and Luke wants nothing more than to have a little fun with that fact.
He decides on letting it go, though, since he fancies himself the prudent one. And it doesn't feel right when Lorelai is sitting next to him with that look on her face.
"I'm sorry."
Lorelai looks up at Luke's apology with incredulous eyes. "For what?"
"You deserve better."
Those three simple words cause a lump to form in the back of her throat. She tucks her hair behind one ear, as her eyes well up slightly. No crying. It freaks Luke out.
"You're too good to me, Luke."
I just care, Lorelai. Unfortunately, Luke just thinks those words, and they never find his lips. Instead, he looks sheepishly at a spot on the couch. He doesn't notice Lorelai's penetrating gaze, her contemplative features.
She breaks the silence with, "You know, Luke, I'll let you get away unscathed from this awkward moment and head home. If you want to leave, that is. We should call it a night, anyway."
He continues to stare at the couch a few moments longer, and then lifts his eyes to meet hers. "Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to finish this ridiculous movie that you forced upon me." He forces a bit of his usual gruffness into the words, for emphasis.
A slow smile emerges from Lorelai as she settles back into the couch. "Are you saying that Willy's elusive charm has actually made an impact on you?"
Luke stretches on arm behind Lorelai, not even thinking twice, and relaxes into the moment. "What can I say, I have thing for psychadelic boat trips," he deadpans.
"Hehe. You said 'trip.'"
"Shut up and watch the movie, Lorelai."
She looks over at his face, illuminated by the television screen, and gets a strange feeling. A feeling similar to when she once saw Rick Springfield walking down Hiatt Street in Hartford while simultaneously running face- first into a light post. It is a good feeling. Obviously, more similar to the spotting-Rick-Springfield feeling and not the face-in-the-light-post feeling.
Lorelai begins to hear "Dreamsome" by Shelby Lynne play in her head as she settles herself into Luke's outstretched arm. She yawns slightly and uses her exhaustion as an excuse to sink even further and rest her head a little to the left. "A little to the left" being Luke's shoulder.
Luke looks down at the top of Lorelai's head, barely making out the curves of her forehead and nose. Content that for once he did not walk away with his head down and his tail between his legs. He's staying. He's sitting. He's watching short, round, discolored people sing songs that are actually eerie midget riddles. And all with a smile on his face.
Willy Wonka plays on for a good hour or so. Outside, the sky gets darker, the stars get brighter, and across town, Miss Patty turns in her sleep, mumbling something about the "perfect uniformity" of Matt Damon's ass. In the Gilmore house, the light from the TV flickers, and all is calm. Everything is still except Luke's head, which wobbles in a state of semi- sleep. His head jerks up and he looks to find the credits rolling.
He inhales deeply and stretches his back, careful not to stir Lorelai, who is still resting on his arm.
Hoping she hasn't noticed his half-asleep state, he musters some fake enthusiasm, "That was one fine piece of entertainment." He waits for her rebuttal, but after a moment's silence, he leans down to find her fast asleep.
At first, he becomes nervous; he doesn't want to move and wake her. But I can't stay here all night, he thinks. Rory would find us.
"Lorelai," Luke whispers, leaning towards her peaceful face. "Lorelai, are you awake?"
No response.
Luke remembers that she once slept through an earthquake, so if she really is asleep, he's sure he can lay her down with no disturbance. Moving his arm so that he craddles her head, he slides off of the couch, grabs her legs, and situates her comfortably on the couch. Quietly, he picks up the blanket from the floor and covers her.
For good measure, Luke finds another blanket and places it on top of the other. The first one looked too thin.
He turns off the television and stretches more fully all of his aching joints. He picks up the dirty dishes and takes them to the kitchen, where he cleans them along with the coffee pot. He prepares a full pot for the morning so that all Lorelai has to do when she gets up is flip the switch. He also leaves a note saying he's done so, because, knowing Lorelai, she'll be too drowsy and attempt to make a pot, ruining the whole perfect concoction.
He checks the lock on the back door before heading toward the living room one last time. He looks at Lorelai's sleeping form, the covers rising and falling to the rhythm of her breathing.
"Goodnight," he whispers.
Locking the door on the inside, Luke heads out into the crisp night air and onto the porch. He inspects the railing before he walks away. Grinning, Luke takes his first steps down the street, back to his place. He'll never admit it, but for the first and last time in his life, he is completely grateful that Sookie can be so incessantly annoying.
Last time (a million years ago), on Cornerstones of Confusion.
Lorelai's finger makes a jabbing motion toward Luke. "That's it! It was Rachel, wasn't it?!"
"I'm getting your coffee."
"Awww, come on, Luke!" Lorelai looks over at Max. "I *have* to go get the low down on this. It sounds big. I'll be right back." She is partly out of her seat when she notices the look on Max's face. She stops, taken aback.
"Max? What's wrong?"
The silence said enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max takes a deep breath and looks around, gathering his thoughts. After a few moments, he turns his attention back to Lorelai, chuckling a bit sardonically. Lorelai eyes him, not sure of what's about to happen.
"Max?" She prompts him, not liking the feeling of being a deer caught in the headlights, seeing the car and not moving a muscle.
"Nothing... it's just... it all makes sense now, that's all."
"What makes sense?"
"Everything. All of this."
"Umm... okay. I think you're going to have to be more specific, 'cause that whole making sense thing... kind of *not* making sense." Lorelai laughs nervously.
"I just... it's funny, really. I came here today for a reason and now..." He pulls at his necktie, leaning back in his seat. He sits back up two seconds later, tapping his fingers against the table. "I think we should get out of here. Take a walk?"
Lorelai begins to laugh, attempting to brush his request off. "Max. Come on. we just ordered coffee. Getting Luke to agree to distribute the magic brew is a feat not easily managed... once you win, walking away without the coffee would be sacrilege." Max is not amused. With a serious expression on her face she prepares herself for the fall. "Clearly not the time for humor," she mumbles, then looks straight into Max's eyes, deciding to meet him head on. "Max. whatever you want to talk about, we can talk it about here."
Max considers protesting, then decides to let Lorelai have her way. "Fine. We'll talk about it here. It's more fitting anyway." Max pauses for a moment. "You know, I was in that coffee shop today... the one where we bumped into each other?"
"You were?" Lorelai says with a faint smile.
"Yeah, I was," Max replies. "And I was sitting there and thinking about you. This random woman sat down next to me and before I knew it I was telling her all about you, and how wonderful you are, and... and suddenly all I wanted to do was come here and tell you how much I love you and how badly I want you to marry me. I was all set to... I was prepared to convince you that..."
"Max..." Lorelai starts, but he stops her.
"But I've realized something. I can fight all I want to, but it'll all be in vain. Because I can't win your heart, it's not something... I can be your knight in shining armor, but it won't matter because you prefer plaid shirts and coffee pots to flashy costumes and valiantly drawn swords."
"That's not..." Lorelai begins, leaning over and reaching for his hands, but she pulls back feeling helpless. "I don't see where this is coming from. What have I done to..."
"Lorelai, it's not what you've done, it's what you've *not* done. You haven't been honest with yourself."
"I am nothing if not honest," Lorelai retorts, trying to negate his serious words. The tension and the seriousness was getting too much to handle, partially because deep down she knew that if Max hadn't given her this surprise visit, she'd be talking to Luke about the same exact issues right now.
"Lorelai... I would give anything to believe you."
"But you don't."
"Something feels wrong, and I can't go on with you like this if you're not being honest with me. or with yourself. I'm not going to have you make a decision about us. I don't think you can right now. I'm going to walk out of here and I will not make any more attempts to reach you. I care so much about you, Lorelai. I love you. I would hope that you at least know that much. But I'm walking out of here and if you really want me in your life. you make the effort. If after a while, I never hear from you, then. well."
Max gets up from his seat, looking hurt and dejected. Tears are freely rolling down Lorelai's cheeks.
"Max, don't do this. I..."
Max turns around and walks back to the table. He looks down at Lorelai, who finds it hard to bear to look up at him.
Max says in a hushed voice, "Lor... we both know who you love. And it's not me."
At that moment, Luke comes back out of the kitchen, heading over toward Lorelai and Max with a fresh pot of coffee in hand. Max glances at him, part of him feeling angry, hurt, and envious, but the other part of him feeling calm because he knows. He knows that if he can't be the one to make Lorelai happy, this guy can, and will. If the two of them ever realize it. Without saying anything, Max turns and walks out of the diner.
"What just happened?" Luke asks quietly, looking down at the stunned and silent Lorelai. She shakes her head slowly, then looks up at him.
"Better make that coffee to go," Lorelai finally manages to say, standing up. "I... I have to go somewhere."
"Ok." Luke looks at her as she fidgets, avoiding his eyes and fighting the emotions that are rising to the surface. He gently grabs her arm, startling her. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Her watery eyes look at him and something seems to break. She can barely get the words out. "I have to go." And with that she turns and leaves the diner with Luke still holding the coffee pot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai bursts into the kitchen at Independence Inn with a confused conscious and shaking hands.
"Sookie." Lorelai's voice is wavering and instantly her friend shows concern.
"Lorelai! What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Well. time will tell, I guess."
"What happened with Luke?"
"Nothing. Nothing happened with Luke." With a pained look on her face, she begins to pace the floor.
"Honey, what happened? Did you get to talk to him? Did you."
"I didn't get a chance to talk to him. I was too busy talking to someone else."
"Who? ... Kirk?"
Lorelai stops pacing and stares intently at her friend. "Yes, Sookie. Kirk. His fascinating tales about life as a traveling man had me in complete awe. I couldn't find it in me to tear myself away."
After a moment's realization, Sookie catches on. "Oh. Max. Oh no, what was he." Sookie goes to comfort her, but Lorelai pulls back slightly.
"I ran into him outside of the diner. I can't believe it, Sookie. Five seconds before I was going to enter that diner, demanding to talk to Luke about his possible feelings for me and my. possible. feelings. and well. there he comes around the corner. This did *not* go the way I had planned."
"Things rarely do, sweetie."
"I mean. I wanted to figure out what I was really feeling and thinking before jumping into this and all of a sudden. the decision is being made for me!"
"He called it off?"
"Not exactly. He left me with the decision to make the next move, but. what he said to me I can't. it's over."
"He didn't treat you. Lor, he didn't attack you did he?"
"No. No, he wasn't mean, really. He did accuse me, though. He accused me of not being honest. And he was right. He was right, Sookie." Lorelai looks absolutely mad at herself as she clenches her fists.
"Honest about what?"
"Honest about everything. My insecurities, my fear of commitment, my doubts about our relationship . my feelings for Luke."
"He brought up Luke?"
"Not in so many words. He. burst out saying something about how I prefer 'plaid shirts and coffee pots' to 'knights in shining armor.' And when he left. he said. 'we both know who you love and it's not me.' Can you believe him? How can he know that, when I don't even know for sure myself. *Love*, Sookie! Love is such a strong word. Where did he get. why did he feel so strongly about my supposed infatuation with Luke that he couldn't fight for me anymore?"
"Maybe he saw something that you didn't?"
"Well, it seems like that's been happening for a long time, doesn't it? I don't know."
As tears continue their way down Lorelai's cheeks, Sookie's heart aches for her friend.
"Honey. you should go home. Take the rest of the day off. Relax, gather your thoughts."
Lorelai sniffles and brushes her hair off of her face. "I want nothing to do with my thoughts right now."
"Well, then skip the gathering, just kick 'em away with your feet and forget about thinking all together."
"Good idea."
"An even better one is if, after I'm done here, I come visit you and fix you dinner."
"Awww, Sookie, that's very sweet of you and I understand how being my best friend right now is a great opportunity to ease pain with enormous amounts of food, but. I'm gonna have to say no. I think I need this time for myself."
"Lorelai, are you sure? I think it's easier to kick away those pesky thoughts when you have two pairs of feet."
"I appreciate your concern, honey, you know I do, but." Lorelai picks up her purse and looks back at Sookie.
"Yeah. I understand." Lorelai begins to leave and Sookie directs a finger at her. "But you know that I might very well not listen to you and come anyway."
Lorelai smiles. "I know." Lorelai gives her a quick, but tight hug before heading home. Sookie stands in her kitchen, watching Lorelai go with a sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lorelai walks into a dark house. She drops her purse on the ground and leans back against the door. Running a hand over her face and taking a deep breath, she walks over and turns on a light.
"Rory?"
The silence sets in and she remembers that Rory planned on staying at Lane's tonight, leaving Lorelai to have her romantic evening with Max.
The phone rings, making Lorelai jump.
Please let it be Rory... please let it be Rory...
When she finally finds the phone under a pile of dirty laundry on the living room floor, she tries her best to compose herself before answering.
"Hello?"
"Lorelai."
Oh dear God, no. "Mom."
"Were you planning on waiting until your wedding day to tell me of this engagement? Maybe your ten year anniversary?!"
Lorelai fought the urge to scream... and lost.
"Ahhhh! How... how..."
"Word gets around, Lorelai. I just can't believe that I am probably the last person in all of Stars Hollow and Hartford combined that knows that my daughter is engaged, and to..."
"Mom! Listen - I am *not* engaged! I was *never* engaged! I never said 'yes,' and he will never ask, ever again, so you can go about your life as it was before and continue to complain about how *unfortunate* it is that I have no one in my life."
"Lorelai..." Emily's tone is more disturbed and condescending than anything else.
My God, can this woman ever show some sympathy?!
"Goodnight, Mother."
Lorelai hangs up and goes into the kitchen to make some coffee. She picks up the coffee pot and stares at it. All of a sudden, Sookie's words come back to haunt her.
"Coffee is Luke substitute."
She sets the coffee pot down, and looks at it as if it could jump up and bite her.
Wandering into the dim living room, she decides a nap might be a novel idea. If the world won't let her forget, she'll forget about the world for a while.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The dinner crowd is dying down and Luke finds himself alone with his thoughts. Here's what his thoughts are pretty much saying to him:
On one hand, he couldn't be more relieved and thrilled to see Max walk out of that door and perhaps out of Lorelai's life forever. On the other hand, he hates the fact that it hurt Lorelai so much to see him go. And on some third hand that materialized out of nowhere, he is fearfully but hopefully scheming the possibilities that lie ahead.
Luke is startled from his trance when the door to the diner opens.
He is surprised to see Sookie walking up to his counter.
"Hi, Luke."
"Hello, Sookie. What are you doing here?"
"Getting something to eat. What do you think I'm doing here?"
"Nothing. I mean, we all know you can cook for yourself, Sookie. And plus, you usually only eat here when you're with Lorelai."
Luke's strained voice at the end of that sentence does not go unnoticed by Sookie. He studies her as she sits down in front of him, silently.
"Oh jeez, don't tell me this is an ambush!" Luke grumbles. "I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I will *not* buy those stupid little parsley leaves to decorate my dishes! My dishes are unadorned. They're simple and to the point. They have food on them. You eat the food. Period."
Luke ends his rant and notices the blank look on Sookie's face.
"No. parsley ambush?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Your argument was very convincing, though."
"Sorry."
Sookie laughs. "That's. it's okay."
"So. what would you like?"
"Coffee and one fabulous piece of apple pie, please?"
"Coming right up." Luke pours her a cup of coffee and goes to get the pie. "Heated?"
"Ohhhh, yes. Thank you."
"Yup."
"Oh and. you know, could you add some vanilla ice cream to the side of it?"
"Uhh. sure. Yeah, I think I have some vanilla."
"Oh, oh, do you happen to have cinnamon swirl ice cream? It's best homemade, but if."
"Sookie." Luke glares at her. And it's a stern glare.
"Right. Yes, sorry."
"Yeah." Her brings her the heated pie. "I'll go get that ice cream."
Sookie nods sheepishly. With Luke out of glaring range, she decides to strike up her previously intended conversation.
"So, Luke?!"
"Yeah?!" Luke hollers from the back, sounds of general rummaging coming out from the kitchen.
"Sooooo. now that Max is out of the picture, how long are you going to wait to ask Lorelai out?"
Almost instantly, the sound of something very large and very metallic hitting the floor comes from Luke's direction. Sookie winces and prepares herself for what's to come next. Luckily there are only two other people in the diner besides Luke and Sookie, and they are both out of towners. Luke can't use that against her.
After a moment of no Luke emerging from the vicinity of the clanging, Sookie begins to worry.
"Luke? Luke, are you okay back there?"
Luke appears with a dumbfounded look on his face and the vanilla ice cream in his possession. Sookie smiles innocently and cocks her head to the side.
"So? You think... maybe... next week?"
Luke sets the ice cream down with a thud. "You're batty."
"And you're avoiding the obvious, Luke."
"I'm not avoiding anything!" Luke mumbles under his breath, "I knew you had to have an ulterior motive."
Sookie just shakes her head and gently lays it on the coffee man. "You're avoiding *her*, Luke. You're avoiding your feelings for her. Have been for years."
"I do *not* need to be hearing this from you, Sookie."
"I guess I'll just have to keep on stating the obvious, because you keep on avoiding it. You love her, Luke. We all know you do."
"You... you don't understand... I..."
Sookie makes her head do a funny little thing that insinuates the need for him to continue his thought. "You... ?"
"It's complicated, Sookie. You know that."
"What's complicated?"
"Stuff."
"Feelings stuff."
"Complicated ruining-of-a-friendship-that's-built-up-over-years kind of stuff." Luke runs his hand over his cap, looking away from Sookie. She continues to stare at him questioningly, and he waves her off. "Forget it."
"You can't go the rest of your life knowing you love her and not letting that come out, Luke. You're going to explode one of these days! It's inevitable!"
"Why are you telling me this? Lorelai just got walked-out-on by her. what might have possibly been her fiancé. and you're telling me that I should just ask her out?!"
"No, not necessarily. Just. don't let this one go by and think that the next one will go by too, and the one after that, and the one after that. Stop dreaming up the day that it will just *happen*. Because you know that you'll just keep dreaming and Lorelai will just keep on living her life. oblivious to the fact that you lo."
Luke shoots his beady eyes of steel..
"Care very much for her. Now, how this woman could be completely oblivious boggles my mind, but she's working with some major form of denial that has yet."
"Sookie!"
Sookie jumps and looks at Luke. Who just happens to look like the saddest man on Earth.
"Please. stop."
"I'm just trying to help."
"I know. But I don't need to be told what I should and should not do when it comes to Lorelai. It's not that easy."
Sookie dolefully gets out of her seat and pays him for the coffee and pie, which she didn't even touch. Luke's staring at the counter as she says one last thing.
"Don't forget. No matter what you feel for her, you're still her friend, Luke."
Luke's eyes furtively glance up at Sookie's comment. She turns with a sad look on her face and exits the diner, leaving Luke alone with his thoughts once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oompa loompa... oomp... euhhh." Lorelai sighs deeply, cuddles closer to the blankets around her and stares dejectedly at the screen in front of her. "It's not the same without Rory. Oompas aren't nearly as funny without someone to share the sarcasm." She lets go of another sigh. "Blah."
A tentative knock at the door startles Lorelai. She doesn't move, just looks up at the door expectantly.
"Oh. Sookie, honey... I told you you didn't need to come over here."
She reluctantly pushes the blankets off of her and gets off the couch in a huff.
"I'm all right. I swear. The Oompas make good company."
She shuffles her feet as she walks toward the front door to let her friend in.
"They're small. And plump. And they love to snuggle." She makes it to the door, unlocks it and opens it slowly with her tired effort. "... I'm thinking of buying one on the black market. I hear... Luke!"
There standing at the door was Luke. He had a brown bag in his arms. His mouth was agape with something he wanted to say but it just didn't seem to want to come out.
Lorelai stood there looking at him. Her face showed surprise, as well as a hint of a smile. He continued to look stuck.
"Wait a second... is this the Luke Doll I ordered a month ago?" She's about to poke him when he finally moves and stumbles on his intended words.
"I... umm... I just..."
"Oh! He moves! Even better!"
"I... brought you something to eat." He holds out the paper bag. The smell of cheeseburgers and chili fries finds it way to Lorelai.
"You didn't need to."
"I know."
"Oh. Well..." Lorelai was sitting on the question of why exactly Luke decided to make this rare visit.
"I uhh... I had a feeling you wouldn't be eating any... and I didn't want you to not..." Luke stumble on the half-lie that's coming out of his mouth and Lorelai comes to his rescue.
"Thank you," she says softly, almost as if she doesn't realize she's saying it. She takes the food from Luke.
He walks in and as she closes the door they're inches away from each other. He looks down at her face.
"Your eyes. they're red."
Lorelai sighs. "Yeah. Well. I'm ok."
Luke nods unconvincingly.
"Let me rephrase that. I *will* be ok."
"Ok." Luke looks down at Lorelai's apprehensive face. Lorelai holds herself there for a second and then with a shake of her head, she moves to the kitchen.
Luke follows her and starts to make a pot of coffee while she's taking the food out of the bag.
Lorelai peers over behind her back. "You're... making coffee!"
"What? You don't want some?"
"No. Of course I do."
"Ok then." Luke smiles and continues his important task. "So... what are you going to buy on the black market?"
"What?" Lorelai is already munching on a fry, feeling better by the second.
"When you opened the door, you were rambling about buying something on the..."
"Ah yes. An Oompa Loompa."
"Ahh."
"So you've seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?"
"Um hum." Luke finishes making the coffee and takes a seat across from her, grabbing a wrapped cheeseburger.
Lorelai studies him intently. The way he is avoiding any eye contact gives him away immediately.
"No you haven't."
"No I haven't what?" No eye contact.
"Watched Willy Wonka. Liar." Lorelai snickers at him while unwrapping her burger.
"Have too."
"You're just trying to get out of watching it with me."
Luke screws his face in a typical getting-ready-to-complain fashion. "Well... can you blame me? Oompa Loompas? If those characters are in any way supposed to be taken seriously I might just run away screaming from the TV."
"They aren't supposed to be taken seriously. You're supposed to laugh at their freakish coloring and jolly merriment."
Luke pops a fry into his mouth and mumbles, "Oh, then it sounds like a definite possibility for my own Top Ten list of movies."
Luke lifts his head and prepares to give her his "look-of-gruffy-sarcasm," but her gaze stops him cold.
Lorelai's warm, grateful smile softens Luke's demeanor. She tilts her head and her smile broadens. He senses that she wants to ask him something. He freezes, still looking into her eyes.
Something crosses over Lorelai's expression. Finally breaking Luke's gaze, she decides to let the planned interrogation go.
After a few moments of silent eating, the coffee pot makes its final loud bubbling noise. Lorelai instantly gets a dreamy look on her face.
"Don't you just love the sound of coffee brewing in the twilight hours?"
"Was that a rhetorical question?"
"Hmm." Lorelai slowly gets out of her seat so she can milk her pouty look for all its worth. She pours herself a large cup and grabs two plates from the cupboard.
"Why don't we move this shindig into the living room?"
"Living room?"
"Yeah. You know, room where the majority of the *living* goes on? I know your place is small, Luke, but I'm sure you designate one of your four corners 'the living room' and are familiar with the concept." Lorelai makes her way with food and vital nourishment in hand into her messy living room. "Besides, I can rewind ole Willy and you can once and for all witness the crazy candymaker at his best."
Lorelai gingerly turns around midstep to flash Luke a playful wink.
"I don't know why I'm going along with this."
"Ahh, it's because you love me."
A bitter wisecrack pops into Luke's mind as he mentally stumbles over her comment. He remains motionless as Lorelai casually takes a seat on the couch. She begins to rewind the tape and notices Luke still holding his food and towering off to her side.
"Hey buddy, take a seat." She pats the place next to her, but doesn't move an inch to give him any more room than a few mere centimeters away from her. He quickly shakes the look of fear on his face and plants himself firmly between Lorelai and the arm of the couch.
The music starts as the opening credits roll onto the screen.
Luke thinks to himself that sitting through this childish movie is a small sacrifice to be able to spend this time with Lorelai. He even attempts to appear interested.
"Hey. Gene Wilder is in this?"
"Yeah. He's Willy."
"Wasn't he in."
"Hear No Evil, See No Evil? Yeah."
"With."
"Richard Pryor."
"Yeah. You know, believe it or not, I know these things."
"Sorry. Got a little carried away. My nickname is Killer whenever I play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon."
"See, that would only work with me if the game dealt with food, or. or hardware. But not movies."
"So, like. Six Degrees of Bob Villa?"
Luke smiles. "Something like that."
Minutes go by. Food is eaten. Luke finally relaxes in his seat, and Lorelai occasionally slaps him on the shoulder for making rude remarks about the shape of Charlie's head. And they continue to sit next to each other, genuinely enjoying each other's company.
"Those people look like they're made of clay. It's disgusting."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Especially the mother. That woman does not look real. She looks like she belongs in a children's claymation special."
"Like you've had first-hand experience watching children's entertainment."
"I've seen my share of eerie, misshapen clay figures passing off as Christmas propaganda, yes."
"I bet you're a closet Rudolph fan."
"Nope. But I will admit I enjoy the Charlie Brown."
"Ah! Who doesn't? But that doesn't surprise me. I mean, of course you'd pick the quintessential example of anti-commercialism."
Luke laughs and turns his head. "That and the fact that that snot, Lucy, got what was coming to her when Snoopy, well, you know."
Only then does he notice that somewhere between "claymation special" and "Ah! Who doesn't," his arm made its sneaky little way to the back of the couch. And there it sat, resting directly behind Lorelai's back. Luke pushed away his instinct to slowly resituate himself so that he wouldn't be so uncomfortably comfortable with her. Instead, he threw caution to the wind by releasing a soft smile. And not moving a muscle.
Lorelai's eyes are led by Luke's and she too sees the apt placement of his right arm. Hmm, Mr. Danes, she says to herself. What exactly are you doing here?
She catches his eye once more and surprisingly, they hold still. The sound of the Candy Man singing his sugary song seems to be drifting to some other room. Her face is warm under Luke's unusual interest.
She tries her best to conceal the slightly nervous gulp that creeps in before her words. "Movie not tickling your fancy?"
That does it. Luke becomes Luke again. "Uh, no no, it's..," he stammers as he turns his head quickly to the screen, then the floor, then the table, then the screen again. Lorelai silently curses her big mouth. "It's very... well, different."
Lorelai uncomfortably shifts her attention to the screen as well, but a giddy smirk makes its way to her expression.
The ringing of the phone cuts through the room and both of them suck in startled breaths.
Please don't let it be my mother, please don't let it be my mother, Lorelai mentally chants. She finds the phone off to the side. She reaches for it, consciously trying to not move that far from what has been such a comfortable position. She looks at it quickly, and mutters, "Damn, I wish we had caller ID."
*Beep* "Hello?"
"I don't hear Billy Idol in the background."
"Rory. Sweetie. What's up?"
"'What's up?' Uh oh. What's wrong, Mom? I wasn't sure if I should call, but I took a chance and I wanted to see."
"Nothing's wrong, babe." Lorelai flounders with what to say. "We can talk when you get home."
Rory can hear it in her voice. "Something happened."
"It's okay . I'm okay. I just don't want to talk about it on the phone."
"I'm coming home, then."
"No! I mean." Lorelai steals a glance at Luke, who even though he's trying his best to look disinterested, is raptly listening to every word. "I need some time alo-." Luke's eyes dart over in her direction. "I need some time to think. I'm fine, believe me. You stay at Lane's for the night, and tomorrow morning we'll sit and have coffee and chat this whole thing out until our lungs collapse, our faces turn a grotesque shade of cerulean blue, and our tongues fall out of our mouths."
Lorelai notices the disgusted face on Luke, who is still "nonchalantly" staring at the television screen. Rory's verbal response is quite similar.
"Ewww."
"It's just a way of saying 'I mean business,' kiddo."
"Maybe next time you can just say 'And I mean business.'"
"Fair enough."
"Are you sure you're going to be okay tonight?"
"I'm positive."
"Call me at any time if you need me for anything, okay?"
"But you're at Lane's."
"Use her secret phone line."
"But even then, her mother would awaken from the shrill sound of the phone, think it's some sort of Lust Demon out to get the two unassuming teenage girls that are asleep in the house, and probably come barging into Lane's room with a broomstick. Or better yet, with the metal bat that is no doubt lying under her bed."
"We'll be in the closet, which Lane just recently had equipped with that bumpy foam used for soundproofing, so it's all good."
Lorelai smiles. "Okay, hon. Will do. I love you."
"Love you, too."
"Night."
"Night."
Lorelai hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath.
Luke ponders whether or not to make it known that he is well aware that she was about to say "I want to be alone" but couldn't. She was trying to give Rory good reason not to come over and interrupt their, uh, movie watching-- yes, he'll call it movie watching--without letting on to Luke that that was what she was trying to do. Of course, she failed miserably, and Luke wants nothing more than to have a little fun with that fact.
He decides on letting it go, though, since he fancies himself the prudent one. And it doesn't feel right when Lorelai is sitting next to him with that look on her face.
"I'm sorry."
Lorelai looks up at Luke's apology with incredulous eyes. "For what?"
"You deserve better."
Those three simple words cause a lump to form in the back of her throat. She tucks her hair behind one ear, as her eyes well up slightly. No crying. It freaks Luke out.
"You're too good to me, Luke."
I just care, Lorelai. Unfortunately, Luke just thinks those words, and they never find his lips. Instead, he looks sheepishly at a spot on the couch. He doesn't notice Lorelai's penetrating gaze, her contemplative features.
She breaks the silence with, "You know, Luke, I'll let you get away unscathed from this awkward moment and head home. If you want to leave, that is. We should call it a night, anyway."
He continues to stare at the couch a few moments longer, and then lifts his eyes to meet hers. "Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to finish this ridiculous movie that you forced upon me." He forces a bit of his usual gruffness into the words, for emphasis.
A slow smile emerges from Lorelai as she settles back into the couch. "Are you saying that Willy's elusive charm has actually made an impact on you?"
Luke stretches on arm behind Lorelai, not even thinking twice, and relaxes into the moment. "What can I say, I have thing for psychadelic boat trips," he deadpans.
"Hehe. You said 'trip.'"
"Shut up and watch the movie, Lorelai."
She looks over at his face, illuminated by the television screen, and gets a strange feeling. A feeling similar to when she once saw Rick Springfield walking down Hiatt Street in Hartford while simultaneously running face- first into a light post. It is a good feeling. Obviously, more similar to the spotting-Rick-Springfield feeling and not the face-in-the-light-post feeling.
Lorelai begins to hear "Dreamsome" by Shelby Lynne play in her head as she settles herself into Luke's outstretched arm. She yawns slightly and uses her exhaustion as an excuse to sink even further and rest her head a little to the left. "A little to the left" being Luke's shoulder.
Luke looks down at the top of Lorelai's head, barely making out the curves of her forehead and nose. Content that for once he did not walk away with his head down and his tail between his legs. He's staying. He's sitting. He's watching short, round, discolored people sing songs that are actually eerie midget riddles. And all with a smile on his face.
Willy Wonka plays on for a good hour or so. Outside, the sky gets darker, the stars get brighter, and across town, Miss Patty turns in her sleep, mumbling something about the "perfect uniformity" of Matt Damon's ass. In the Gilmore house, the light from the TV flickers, and all is calm. Everything is still except Luke's head, which wobbles in a state of semi- sleep. His head jerks up and he looks to find the credits rolling.
He inhales deeply and stretches his back, careful not to stir Lorelai, who is still resting on his arm.
Hoping she hasn't noticed his half-asleep state, he musters some fake enthusiasm, "That was one fine piece of entertainment." He waits for her rebuttal, but after a moment's silence, he leans down to find her fast asleep.
At first, he becomes nervous; he doesn't want to move and wake her. But I can't stay here all night, he thinks. Rory would find us.
"Lorelai," Luke whispers, leaning towards her peaceful face. "Lorelai, are you awake?"
No response.
Luke remembers that she once slept through an earthquake, so if she really is asleep, he's sure he can lay her down with no disturbance. Moving his arm so that he craddles her head, he slides off of the couch, grabs her legs, and situates her comfortably on the couch. Quietly, he picks up the blanket from the floor and covers her.
For good measure, Luke finds another blanket and places it on top of the other. The first one looked too thin.
He turns off the television and stretches more fully all of his aching joints. He picks up the dirty dishes and takes them to the kitchen, where he cleans them along with the coffee pot. He prepares a full pot for the morning so that all Lorelai has to do when she gets up is flip the switch. He also leaves a note saying he's done so, because, knowing Lorelai, she'll be too drowsy and attempt to make a pot, ruining the whole perfect concoction.
He checks the lock on the back door before heading toward the living room one last time. He looks at Lorelai's sleeping form, the covers rising and falling to the rhythm of her breathing.
"Goodnight," he whispers.
Locking the door on the inside, Luke heads out into the crisp night air and onto the porch. He inspects the railing before he walks away. Grinning, Luke takes his first steps down the street, back to his place. He'll never admit it, but for the first and last time in his life, he is completely grateful that Sookie can be so incessantly annoying.