A/N: This was written because my friend Krista bugged my last night on AIM
to write this! Damn you Krista ;). Good thing she did, though, I might
not've gotten around to it otherwise... even if I didn't originally plan to
have more than one chapter. This chapter may seem a little more, Oh I
don't know *spontaneous* than the last? Well, heh, just go with it. I had
an inspiration in History when Mr. Tuttlebobhead (that's what we call 'im)
said "Out of the frying pan and into the fire," and I gasped. Please R/R!
I need criticism, can't live witout it. (
Disclaimer: Frodo? Mine. Sam? Mine. Legolas? Krista's. All the other characters belong to Tolkien ;).
Rating: PG, I guess...
"I Was Strollin' Through the Shire One Day..."
Chapter 2: Enter the Crystal One
"Legolas!"
"Frodo!"
"Legolas!"
"Froodoooo!!"
"Fine. We'll flip a coin... or better yet: an Elf!"
"Ahhhh!" I fell back on the couch, clutching the remote. "I *could* just play Parth Galean again!"
"Is that the beach?"
"Yep."
"With the crying carebear creti-"
"Shut up!" I played the Orlando Bloom featurette, folded my arms, and glared at the screen. Krista seemed content.
The picture faded out.
"OK we can watch your Lijotr now," Krista sighed.
"Yay!!!" I leapt up and flipped to the Elijah Wood featurette hurriedly, and a bit too energetically. I hit Enter and something different appeared on the screen: part of the Shire. And from the surrounding speakers issued birdsong instead of music.
"Umm, what did you just do, Liz?"
"Er, I have no idea... this looks *just* like my dream. I told ya about that didn't I- "
*Boom*. A sound like thunder shook the room and filled it with mist...
"Why is there a cloud in your living room??"
"Ahh! It's gettin' my Sil wet! Nooo!" I frantically tried to wipe the book off on something dry but there was a minor problem. *Nothing * was dry.
A gust of grassy air. We landed on top of a hill. Krista on a soft patch of dewy moss, me on a muddy flower bed.
"Uggh,"
"Liz! You ruined the geraniums!"
I groaned, "Don't bug me, you got your Legolas," I stood up and tried to wipe the mud off... to no avail of course.
"OK, so, we're in the Shire?" Krista asked.
"Apparently," I put my hands on my hips and looked around.
"And... we were magically transported here."
"Yep."
"Through a TV?"
I nodded.
"Then let us pray," Krista plopped onto the moss, massaged her temples and started muttering things under her breath, "Stuck. In. A. Country. Full. Of. Hobbits. With. *Liz*..."
"Ooooh! I think we're on top of a hobbit hole!" I ran over to the chimney in the ground, pointed at it, sort of danced, and ran back to Krista. "There's a chimney in the ground!" I beamed.
Krista looked up at me blankly and then resumed muttering. I took in our surroundings. There was a strip of trees behind us and to the South I could see The Hill, Bag End. I started hyperventilating, I mean *one* trip to Middle-earth was cool enough, but TWO? The first time I hadn't really believed it, but now I did, and therefore was entitled to a brief display of obsessiveness.
"Oh my God!" Krista said abruptly.
I whirled around, "What?"
"This is the Shire!"
"No, this is an incredibly realistic ride in Disney World, Paris. See the French instructions on the watering can??" I held up a rusty watering can.
"This is the Shire!" Krista repeated as if to herself, "Woody End is in the Shire!"
"Uh oh..."
"There be Elves at Woody End!"
"Well, *maybe*..."
"LET'S GO!" Krista grabbed my arm and dragged me off the hill.
"Wait!"
"Liz, this is not time for Frodo drooling!"
"No! Wait! I just figured out where we are." Krista gave me a very "duh" look. "And there is SO time for Frodo drooling!" I added.
Krista ignored that, "Well, *where * are we?"
"The Gamgee's," I indicated the hole. A round red door, paint chipped around the edges, was ajar. We leaned closer to peer inside, but couldn't see, still. We kept leaning forward until I had to grab Krista's shoulder for support. She lost her footing and we tumbled onto the damp ground... just as someone walked out of the door, almost stepping on us. Krista opened her eyes and screamed.
"Aaaahhh! Hobbit feet!!" she scrambled up.
I stood up as well, "No, Krista, that's not Talley," I stuck out my tongue.
Then I turned my attention to the hobbit half outside the door, gaping at us. It was *Sam*.
"Hi again!" I said, and looked over at Krista, who was twitching slightly. "That's Krista. And if you don't have your Cooking Pans of Doom (Talley runs up, echo's: "Doom, doom doom!", and disappears.) handy, then I suggest you run."
"Ummm... I've never seen you before in my life, miss..."
"You haven't?"
"No... We don't get many of the Big Folk 'round here."
"Oh, well, OK..." Krista looked at me expectantly. I cleared my throat. "Which way is Hobbiton?" I asked, for lack of a better question.
"No!" shouted Krista.
Sam blinked his hazel eyes at her. "No, Miss Krista?"
"Which was is Woody End, Rivendell... Elves in general?" She waited a moment. "Speak!"
"Who do you think you are? Gandalf??" I asked.
"Elves! Oh, I wish I *did* know where to find *them*..."
"You know someone who does?" I asked, glancing sidelong at Krista.
"Mr. Frodo might."
"Shist."
"Heehee... well, let's get goin' to Bag End, Krista!"
(A/N: OK... so maybe I'm overemphasizing the Legolas vs. Frodo thing a little... OH WELL!)
"Bye, Samwise," said Krista tersely, and stomped down the road.
"Namárië!"
"Oh! That was Elvish!" Sam smiled. (Awwww!... OK I am not a Pervy Sam Fancier, I'm a Pervy Frodo Fancier... so lay off!)
We walked down the dirt road, Krista grumbling about blue eyed loch ness monsters, me whistling the theme to Aniron.
Disclaimer: Frodo? Mine. Sam? Mine. Legolas? Krista's. All the other characters belong to Tolkien ;).
Rating: PG, I guess...
"I Was Strollin' Through the Shire One Day..."
Chapter 2: Enter the Crystal One
"Legolas!"
"Frodo!"
"Legolas!"
"Froodoooo!!"
"Fine. We'll flip a coin... or better yet: an Elf!"
"Ahhhh!" I fell back on the couch, clutching the remote. "I *could* just play Parth Galean again!"
"Is that the beach?"
"Yep."
"With the crying carebear creti-"
"Shut up!" I played the Orlando Bloom featurette, folded my arms, and glared at the screen. Krista seemed content.
The picture faded out.
"OK we can watch your Lijotr now," Krista sighed.
"Yay!!!" I leapt up and flipped to the Elijah Wood featurette hurriedly, and a bit too energetically. I hit Enter and something different appeared on the screen: part of the Shire. And from the surrounding speakers issued birdsong instead of music.
"Umm, what did you just do, Liz?"
"Er, I have no idea... this looks *just* like my dream. I told ya about that didn't I- "
*Boom*. A sound like thunder shook the room and filled it with mist...
"Why is there a cloud in your living room??"
"Ahh! It's gettin' my Sil wet! Nooo!" I frantically tried to wipe the book off on something dry but there was a minor problem. *Nothing * was dry.
A gust of grassy air. We landed on top of a hill. Krista on a soft patch of dewy moss, me on a muddy flower bed.
"Uggh,"
"Liz! You ruined the geraniums!"
I groaned, "Don't bug me, you got your Legolas," I stood up and tried to wipe the mud off... to no avail of course.
"OK, so, we're in the Shire?" Krista asked.
"Apparently," I put my hands on my hips and looked around.
"And... we were magically transported here."
"Yep."
"Through a TV?"
I nodded.
"Then let us pray," Krista plopped onto the moss, massaged her temples and started muttering things under her breath, "Stuck. In. A. Country. Full. Of. Hobbits. With. *Liz*..."
"Ooooh! I think we're on top of a hobbit hole!" I ran over to the chimney in the ground, pointed at it, sort of danced, and ran back to Krista. "There's a chimney in the ground!" I beamed.
Krista looked up at me blankly and then resumed muttering. I took in our surroundings. There was a strip of trees behind us and to the South I could see The Hill, Bag End. I started hyperventilating, I mean *one* trip to Middle-earth was cool enough, but TWO? The first time I hadn't really believed it, but now I did, and therefore was entitled to a brief display of obsessiveness.
"Oh my God!" Krista said abruptly.
I whirled around, "What?"
"This is the Shire!"
"No, this is an incredibly realistic ride in Disney World, Paris. See the French instructions on the watering can??" I held up a rusty watering can.
"This is the Shire!" Krista repeated as if to herself, "Woody End is in the Shire!"
"Uh oh..."
"There be Elves at Woody End!"
"Well, *maybe*..."
"LET'S GO!" Krista grabbed my arm and dragged me off the hill.
"Wait!"
"Liz, this is not time for Frodo drooling!"
"No! Wait! I just figured out where we are." Krista gave me a very "duh" look. "And there is SO time for Frodo drooling!" I added.
Krista ignored that, "Well, *where * are we?"
"The Gamgee's," I indicated the hole. A round red door, paint chipped around the edges, was ajar. We leaned closer to peer inside, but couldn't see, still. We kept leaning forward until I had to grab Krista's shoulder for support. She lost her footing and we tumbled onto the damp ground... just as someone walked out of the door, almost stepping on us. Krista opened her eyes and screamed.
"Aaaahhh! Hobbit feet!!" she scrambled up.
I stood up as well, "No, Krista, that's not Talley," I stuck out my tongue.
Then I turned my attention to the hobbit half outside the door, gaping at us. It was *Sam*.
"Hi again!" I said, and looked over at Krista, who was twitching slightly. "That's Krista. And if you don't have your Cooking Pans of Doom (Talley runs up, echo's: "Doom, doom doom!", and disappears.) handy, then I suggest you run."
"Ummm... I've never seen you before in my life, miss..."
"You haven't?"
"No... We don't get many of the Big Folk 'round here."
"Oh, well, OK..." Krista looked at me expectantly. I cleared my throat. "Which way is Hobbiton?" I asked, for lack of a better question.
"No!" shouted Krista.
Sam blinked his hazel eyes at her. "No, Miss Krista?"
"Which was is Woody End, Rivendell... Elves in general?" She waited a moment. "Speak!"
"Who do you think you are? Gandalf??" I asked.
"Elves! Oh, I wish I *did* know where to find *them*..."
"You know someone who does?" I asked, glancing sidelong at Krista.
"Mr. Frodo might."
"Shist."
"Heehee... well, let's get goin' to Bag End, Krista!"
(A/N: OK... so maybe I'm overemphasizing the Legolas vs. Frodo thing a little... OH WELL!)
"Bye, Samwise," said Krista tersely, and stomped down the road.
"Namárië!"
"Oh! That was Elvish!" Sam smiled. (Awwww!... OK I am not a Pervy Sam Fancier, I'm a Pervy Frodo Fancier... so lay off!)
We walked down the dirt road, Krista grumbling about blue eyed loch ness monsters, me whistling the theme to Aniron.