"Lookit me! I'm Julius Ceeeeeaaaasar!"
"Shut up!" Bruce stammered throwing his Caesar costume on the floor.
"Man-o, maaaannn you're gonna look like a flake in that costume!" Dick laughed, "Especially with Kiki accompanying you! You two will look perfect together-"
"Shut UP!" Bruce said grabbing Dick by his collar.
"S-sorry man!" Dick clamored nervously.
Bruce sighed and set him back on the floor. He peered out the giant gothic-looking window that overlooked the winding trail up to his mansion.
"I think I should break it off with Kiki." He said halfway to Dick, halfway to himself.
"When?" Dick asked.
"As soon as possible. Maybe even tonight." Bruce said very quietly.
"Just before the ball?" Dick said, "My Aunt Harriet will be either furious or heartbroken! And either way, she'll kill me!"
Bruce sighed again.
"But, hey, who am I to talk?" Dick said quietly, "It's your life. Not mine. Personally, I'd want to get it done quick and painlessly so that Kiki doesn't feel it as much."
Bruce quietly grinned to himself.
"Finally, I'll be able to get that date with Roz without feeling guilty." He said with a little chuckle.
"You'd better call Kiki before you-know-who shows up and wants to go investigate every little thing in the city." Dick added.
Bruce picked up the black 40s-styled phone and dialed the numbers. He paused for a minute, letting the phone ring a couple times.
It rang a few more times. And a few more after that, until finally on the other line he heard a "Hello!"
"Hello…" he said, but he was interrupted by Kiki's ultra-annoying answering machine.
"This is the apartment of Kiki Livingsly. I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the tone and I'll try to call ya'll back as soon as I can!"
Bruce sighed and hung up. He despised answering machines. Maybe it came from his ultimate hate for the one Dick's aunt had bought him for Christmas, which caught on fire when he tried to record a message and kept on punching the "Record" button over and over. It burst into flames, and Bruce decided then and there that all answering machines were wielded in hell.
"She's not there." He said quietly. Dick shrugged and replied "Whatcha gonna do?"
That's when the gothic door-bell rang all around the mansion.
Dick slapped his forehead and mumbled "Guess who that is!"
Only a few seconds later, Alfred showed up with Barbra Gordon at his side.
"You have a visitor Master Bru-" he began, but was almost immediately interrupted by Barbra.
"Guys, we need to make a night patrol tonight!" she said.
Bruce and Dick rolled their eyes almost in unison.
"I think something fishy is going on in-"
"Barbra! Something fishy is ALWAYS going on EVERY night!" Dick shouted, "I swear, aren't you ever SLEEPY?"
Bruce nodded in agreement.
Barbra angered, and thrust herself forward at Dick. She slapped him on the cheek in rage, leaving a little red mark.
"OW! What the heck was that for???" he said rubbing his injured cheek.
"WE HAVE A JOB! It's our DUTY to take care of any illegal-sounding business!" she said patriotically.
Bruce mumbled "She has a point, there."
Dick shrugged and said, "All right. TO THE BAT CAVE!"
"Who looks like a flake NOW?" Bruce cackled.
"SHUT UP!" Dick said, embarrassed, "Just because you get the cooler outfit doesn't mean you can make fun of me!"
Bruce grinned and said, "Hey widdle wobin! You gonna way an egg fow me?"
Dick growled, and held up his fist, "Listen BAT BUTT! When I get my hands on you, I'll…"
"You mean FEATHERS!" Bruce said, then nearly fell over laughing.
"STUPID BAT!!!" Dick screamed.
"Hey now! What's wrong with bats?" Barbra said stepping out from the other room.
"Nothing. It's just MIDDLE-AGED ones should keep to themselves!" Dick said glowering.
"Whadaya MEAN 'Middle-aged'?" Bruce said angrily.
"B-bat Man?" a meek voice said from the corner, "What are YOU doing here, in Mr. Wayne's house?"
Batman, Robin, and Batgirl all turned around at once and gasped in horror.
"Shut up!" Bruce stammered throwing his Caesar costume on the floor.
"Man-o, maaaannn you're gonna look like a flake in that costume!" Dick laughed, "Especially with Kiki accompanying you! You two will look perfect together-"
"Shut UP!" Bruce said grabbing Dick by his collar.
"S-sorry man!" Dick clamored nervously.
Bruce sighed and set him back on the floor. He peered out the giant gothic-looking window that overlooked the winding trail up to his mansion.
"I think I should break it off with Kiki." He said halfway to Dick, halfway to himself.
"When?" Dick asked.
"As soon as possible. Maybe even tonight." Bruce said very quietly.
"Just before the ball?" Dick said, "My Aunt Harriet will be either furious or heartbroken! And either way, she'll kill me!"
Bruce sighed again.
"But, hey, who am I to talk?" Dick said quietly, "It's your life. Not mine. Personally, I'd want to get it done quick and painlessly so that Kiki doesn't feel it as much."
Bruce quietly grinned to himself.
"Finally, I'll be able to get that date with Roz without feeling guilty." He said with a little chuckle.
"You'd better call Kiki before you-know-who shows up and wants to go investigate every little thing in the city." Dick added.
Bruce picked up the black 40s-styled phone and dialed the numbers. He paused for a minute, letting the phone ring a couple times.
It rang a few more times. And a few more after that, until finally on the other line he heard a "Hello!"
"Hello…" he said, but he was interrupted by Kiki's ultra-annoying answering machine.
"This is the apartment of Kiki Livingsly. I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the tone and I'll try to call ya'll back as soon as I can!"
Bruce sighed and hung up. He despised answering machines. Maybe it came from his ultimate hate for the one Dick's aunt had bought him for Christmas, which caught on fire when he tried to record a message and kept on punching the "Record" button over and over. It burst into flames, and Bruce decided then and there that all answering machines were wielded in hell.
"She's not there." He said quietly. Dick shrugged and replied "Whatcha gonna do?"
That's when the gothic door-bell rang all around the mansion.
Dick slapped his forehead and mumbled "Guess who that is!"
Only a few seconds later, Alfred showed up with Barbra Gordon at his side.
"You have a visitor Master Bru-" he began, but was almost immediately interrupted by Barbra.
"Guys, we need to make a night patrol tonight!" she said.
Bruce and Dick rolled their eyes almost in unison.
"I think something fishy is going on in-"
"Barbra! Something fishy is ALWAYS going on EVERY night!" Dick shouted, "I swear, aren't you ever SLEEPY?"
Bruce nodded in agreement.
Barbra angered, and thrust herself forward at Dick. She slapped him on the cheek in rage, leaving a little red mark.
"OW! What the heck was that for???" he said rubbing his injured cheek.
"WE HAVE A JOB! It's our DUTY to take care of any illegal-sounding business!" she said patriotically.
Bruce mumbled "She has a point, there."
Dick shrugged and said, "All right. TO THE BAT CAVE!"
"Who looks like a flake NOW?" Bruce cackled.
"SHUT UP!" Dick said, embarrassed, "Just because you get the cooler outfit doesn't mean you can make fun of me!"
Bruce grinned and said, "Hey widdle wobin! You gonna way an egg fow me?"
Dick growled, and held up his fist, "Listen BAT BUTT! When I get my hands on you, I'll…"
"You mean FEATHERS!" Bruce said, then nearly fell over laughing.
"STUPID BAT!!!" Dick screamed.
"Hey now! What's wrong with bats?" Barbra said stepping out from the other room.
"Nothing. It's just MIDDLE-AGED ones should keep to themselves!" Dick said glowering.
"Whadaya MEAN 'Middle-aged'?" Bruce said angrily.
"B-bat Man?" a meek voice said from the corner, "What are YOU doing here, in Mr. Wayne's house?"
Batman, Robin, and Batgirl all turned around at once and gasped in horror.