Spring Fever
An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage
Part 2—Visiting HoursI missed Dib. And so I made him sick. It seemed like a good idea at the time…maybe my evil Zim-voice had something to do with it on a subconscious level. Revenge for Dib's too-close-to-the-mark karaoke episode? Perhaps. Or maybe I'm just mean. Heheheh…don't worry, Dib-fans, I have another story starring your favorite paranormal expert in the works, and it does not involve sickness. And it certainly doesn't involve Sickness, because I don't have a Devi-voice…yet. It is probably only a matter of time. Meh…get ready for some serious chicken soup! Muhahahahahaaaaaaa!
The scene is KidK's house! See, I am completely back to normal and mundane! It's now Sunday morning, and our teenage heroine is just about to start re-setting-up the livingroom to continue her bad old horror movie party when…
KidK: Lessee…ooooo, Mom got Whoppers while she was out yesterday…mmmm, malted milk-thingies…
Zim (watching the snack-gathering): You are inviting the Dib over again?
KidK: Already did. We didn't finish yesterday cuz he was sick, so…I told him he could come back today.
Zim: Is he still…infected?
KidK: Eh…with a cold, it all depends. He'll probably be somewhat better, but not completely well yet unless it was one of those 24 hour bugs.
Zim: Bugs? Bugs are viruses? O.O I squished a fly this morning.
KidK: That wasn't nice.
Zim (running around in circles): Aaaaaaaaaaaaaugh! I'm infected! I'm infected! Noooooooooooo!
KidK: No you're not! Stop, stop! (the kitchen phone starts ringing) Ack, better get that…hallo?
You know the drill—do the splitscreen dealie! The one side is, obviously, KidK in her kitchen, and the other side is the Membrane kitchen. Dib is looking much, much worse this morning as he tries his best not to cough uncontrollably. He's still in his jammies, his hair is all messy, and he seems as though he could fall asleep on the spot. You know that voice that people with horrible colds get where it sounds like their throats must be full of something disgusting? One of Terry P's characters, Captain (now Commander, yay!) Vimes, has a good, descriptive word for how Dib looks today—'manky.' Poor, poor Dib-kun…good thing he's got his lovely, caring sister Gaz to help him, eh?
Gaz: Hey, KidK. My (resentfully) brother wants to talk to you, but of course he couldn't dial the phone himself cuz ('moron voice') 'Derrrrr, he can't seeeee.' Why he can't put on his stupid glasses and leave me alone, I don't know but…better that he bothers you with his voice than me, I guess. Here he is. (she hands the phone off to her brother and simply walks away)
Dib: Gee…*wheeze*…thanks a lot…Gaz. KidK?
KidK: Dib? Oh my gods, you sound terrible. Oh, sorry, like you really need to hear that.
Dib: Eh…it's okay. That's what I—'scuse me. (he puts his hand over the phone and proceeds to cough up a lung) Sorry.
KidK (worried): Dib, are you all right? I mean, obviously you're not all right, but are you sure you—
Zim (still running around in the background): Noooooooooo! I'm doooooooooomed!
KidK: Zim, quiet! (to Dib) Are you sure you're even well enough to be out of bed? Is your Dad home? Does he know you're sick?
Dib: I'm not sure, no, and probably not. When I woke up he was already gone.
KidK: Well, you're certainly not coming over to my house for movies today, that's for sure. You go right back upstairs to bed, mister. I'll be right over.
Dib: No, no, you don't have to…oh man…ah…ah…*achoo!*
KidK (dryly): Yes, I do. See you in a few…be careful wandering around without your glasses!
Dib (very weakly): O…kay…
KidK hangs up her phone and strikes a determined pose.
KidK: I'm gonna fix Dib up if it's the last thing I do! Zim, for the last time cut it out!
Zim: It's oveeeeeeeeer! The buuuuuuuuuuuuugs! Aiiiiiiiiiiii—what?
KidK: I said stop it. You're not sick—'bug' is just a little slang word for 'sickness.' It's Dib that's sick here.
Zim: So he is dying.
KidK: No. Not if I've got anything to do with it, anyway.
Zim: Eh? What are you planning?
KidK: I'm gonna go over there and help him, of course! But first I've gotta consult the expert…where's Mom? (she goes off looking)
Zim (grumbling): Meh…she doesn't do a thing about my horrible bug-illness…
Meanwhile, in another part of the house (the master bedroom, to be precise), Mom is desperately trying to fold clothes…
KidK's Mom: Gir, quit putting underpants on my head!
Gir: What a lovely hat you've got on, Missus Jones! Wheeeeeheehee!
KidK's Mom: Mrs. Jones?! What in the world?!
KidK (entering this scene of chaos): Mom I need your help Dib is sick an' you've gotta tell me what to do an' stuff so's I can do it so he won't get worse an' stuff!
KidK's Mom: Okay…back up. What's the deal?
KidK: Dib is sick! He's got a really bad cold…oh, I hope he got upstairs okay! So much bad stuff could be happening to him as we speak! O.O (she is practically hyperventilating)
KidK's Mom: Now, come on. Calm down. I'm sure he's fine. It's a bad cold? Or maybe it's flu? That's been going around the elementary skools lately…you know my friend Jen is a teacher and she says there've been some bad cases this year.
KidK: …………………..flu?!
KidK's Mom: Calm, calm. Screaming won't help Dib. Is his father home?
KidK: No…he works even on Sundays. And Gaz is…well…I love her dearly, but she's not the world's most compassionate person when it comes to her brother, you know?
KidK's Mom: Okay…well, all you can really do is make sure he takes some flu medicine—we've got some in the medicine cabinet—and drinks a lot—especially water. Rest is the most important thing, so if you're really gonna go sit with him you should take a book or something to do yourself and just let him sleep. You're going now?
KidK: Of course!
Gir: I wanna go toooooooooo! Gonna help mah favorite bighead friend!
KidK: Um…I'm not sure that's a good idea, Gir. Dib needs to have quiet, see, and—
Gir: I can be quiet! Watch! Doo doo dooooooooooo quiet!
KidK: o.ô……….oh, I've an idea! Gir, you wanna help Dibby?
Gir: Yep yep yep!
KidK: Then why don't you draw him a really pretty picture? He'll be so happy to see it that he'll get better even quicker!
Gir: Ooooooooo…goodie!
KidK: But you have to draw it here so he won't see it before it's done—it's gotta be a surprise for it to work, okay?
Gir: Okaaaaaaay. I'll go get da color pen-cells!
KidK: Good! You'll be a big help to me, Gir. ^.^
Gir: Yay! (he skips off)
KidK's Mom (speechless): That was…
KidK (grinning): Brilliant?
KidK's Mom: Yes…well, go on. Fill the little cooler with bottled water and take the flu pills.
KidK (saluting): Thank you, my leader! I will call you if the need should arise!
KidK's Mom: You…do that.
KidK (as she exits): By the way…nice hat. ^_~
Our resident Florence Nightingale retrieves her arsenal of medicine from the bathroom, then goes out to the kitchen to pack her amazing 'cooler of cure.' She doesn't even notice that Zim is taking this golden opportunity to pillage the now-forgotten bowls of movie snacks.
KidK (to herself): Lessee…oooo, idea! Lozenges! Cherry cherry…
Zim (to himself): Just one more…okay, well, two. (he notices KidK) You're really going to help that monkey-child?
KidK: Uh huh. And before you get all pouty, yes, I would do the same for you. But you are not sick today, so I don't have to. Okay?
Zim: You think you can read my mind, don't you? (he folds his arms huffily) Hmf. Well I wasn't even thinking that. Of course you would aide your beloved kami.
KidK: Well, of course.
Zim: But that doesn't mean you should also aide the Dib-thing.
KidK: _ I'll be back later, okay?
Zim: Fine. I would wish you luck, but…you know. I hate him and I hope he implodes.
KidK: Right. (she cocks her head questioningly—ella tiene un evil plan in mind) Hmmmm…you sound kinda different all of a sudden…your throat okay?
Zim: There is a slight itch…but that could have something to do with all those pretzels I just—I mean I have no idea what's causing it.
KidK: Uh oh, maybe you did catch it. Well, you're a fighter, so you'll be okay. ^_^ See you later, Zimmy! (she exits the house)
Zim: O_o…………..nooooooooo! (he stops screaming and narrows his eyes) No. I will not be defeated by the filthy virus. I will defeat it with my own incredible brain power of smartness by discovering a cure! Yes! For I am Zim! Muhahahahaaaaaaaaa!
Mike-the-Brother (calling from his room): Wow, Zim knows his name! Shut up!
Zim: ¬_¬…………………
Grumbling to himself about 'foul, stupid brother-human,' Zim descends the stairs to go to the lab. Meanwhile, since the Membrane house is only like 30 seconds away from KidK's house by car, she is already there! She only drove cuz she might need the car later to buy more pills or retrieve more water from home or something. KidK is smart and thinks ahead, unlike her real-life counterpart, me. Once I walked right into the bathroom door because I thought the lights were just off in there. Okayyyy…instead of walking into the door at her friends' house, she knocks on it. That is the smart thing to do when you visit someone. O.o
Gaz (coming to the door): You had better not be another vacuum salesman, because I'm tired of showing you losers the extra use for that dustbus—oh, hey KidK.
KidK: 'Extra use for that dustbus?'
Gaz: Eh, you know—the vacuum guys and their 'million uses for this dustbuster' pitch. They're always so surprised when you show them a million and first use…heh…they should just go fall off a cliff and save me the trouble.
KidK: ……….yes……….um, I'm here to see Dib?
Gaz: Yeah, he told me. He started coughing on me and all my Pikmin got eaten. He will pay…later.
KidK: Yes, later. First I've gotta make the virus pay.
Gaz: ¬_ô I guess…well, come on in. (she steps aside to let KidK through the door) I'm gonna be starting a new file—all thanks to Dib—so try to be un-annoying like you usually are. I'm going downstairs.
KidK: Okie dokie. (she looks up the stairs, sets her jaw, grips the handle of her cooler tightly, and narrows her eyes) Right. Let's do some good.
Yay yay! Granny Weatherwax quote! From onna my favorite Pratchett novels—Maskerade! Okay, that's two PTerry references in one chapter…well, hopefully I won't hafta throw my ultimate favorite character, Death, into the mix…O.O Nahhhh. In any case, upstairs…
KidK (knocking quietly on Dib's door and whispering): Dib? You awake? (she opens the door and goes in) Guess not…(she looks down at her friend, tangled up in his sheets and breathing rather laboriously) My poor Dibby…well, at least I can make you more comfy.
She sets to work lowering all the window shades and straightening the sleeping Dib's bedclothes. She then goes back down to the kitchen and opens her cooler, redepositing her cute little 'half-pint' bottles of Poland Spring (made in Maine, where the moose come from!) in the refrigerator. She locates a plate, drinking straw and napkin and takes them, a water bottle, and the medicine upstairs with her. These things are placed on Dib's bedside table—two of the pills on the napkin and the bottle on top of the plate to keep condensation off the wood (see, KidK is smart ^.^). Satisfied with her newly-made 'sick station,' KidK pulls Dib's desk chair over and sits beside his bed. She keeps a silent watch for almost a half-hour before her friend awakens himself with another coughing fit.
KidK: Hold on, hold on—I've got water. (she gently lifts Dib's head with one hand and holds the bottle for him with the other) Take a good big drink.
Dib (after doing so): Thanks…KidK? (he squints at her, unable to see too well without his glasses) That's you…right?
KidK: In person! ^_^ I told you I'd come, and here I am. You were asleep.
Dib: Sorry…I didn't…*wheeze*…say 'hello.'
KidK: No, that's a good thing. I'm glad you can sleep so soundly. That's what your system needs most—restful time to repair itself.
Dib (smiling weakly): Then I should really be getting better…I've been asleep pretty much continuously since…I guess since I left you yesterday.
KidK: And I want you to sleep as much as you can while I'm here, too. But first, you've gotta take this medicine. Mom says that it's the right kind, and she dealt with all Mike's and my horrible illnesses as munchkins so it'll work for sure.
Dib: What…wha…*achoo!*
KidK (handing him a tissue from the handy box): Bless you. Here, blow your nose. Um…trashcan, trashcan…(she looks around, locates the trashcan by the desk, and drags it over to the bed) Heheh…you can play tissue basketball!
Dib: Haa…okay, here I go. (he tosses the tissue into the can)
KidK: He shoots—he scores! Now, what were you saying?
Dib: What kind of medicine is it? Sorry, it's not like *coughcough* like I don't trust you, it's just that I…I…false alarm, heh…like to know what I'm taking.
KidK: It's Tylenol Flu. Mom said that that's what you might have.
Dib: Flu? Really? You sure it's not just a regular cold? Though…I don't think I've ever had one this bad before, so maybe she's right…
KidK: In any case, it's the most extra-strength medicine we've got, and the extra stuff can't hurt you anyway, so…
Dib: Right…*coughhackcough*…well, I think I'm ready to not do that anymore, so…where're the pills?
KidK: Here, I'll put 'em in your hand. (she does so) And here's your water. (she hands him the bottle)
Dib (swallowing the medicine): *gulp* Blaahh…that's harder than you'd think…
KidK: Your throat's all clogged, that's why. Well, you should probably try to fall asleep again…I'll be right here if you need anything, and in another four hours you can have two more pills. Okay? Now get sleeping. ^_^
Dib: Yes, ma'am. Heh…that's one *cough* order I think I can follow now.
He settles back into his pillows and shuts his eyes, and within minutes is snoozing peacefully. Smiling, KidK watches him sleep from her place on the chair. Well, nothing's happening here, so I suppose I should switch scenes! Back home, in the evil lair of our favorite Irken Invader, there is some chemistry-stuff going on…
Zim: Good, good…now for the final ingredient. (he pushes some buttons on his console, and a dropper full of some orange liquid is positioned over a half-full container of something else that is blue by a mechanical claw) Careful…there! (a few drops of the substance fall in, and there is an obligatory puff of smoke) Yes! Cure Trial Number 36 is completed! And this one will be right! Now, for the test…Sammi?
Sammi (padding over): *wag wag?*
Zim: Good girl. (he holds the container out to her) Another treat for you, because you are such a good dog!
Sammi: *sniff sniff* (she begins lapping up the formula) *burp* *wag wag wag*
Zim: Aargh! Still no change! What am I doing wrong?!
Mike-the-Brother (leaning out of the elevator): What are you doing, period?
Zim: Ugh, awful Mike-thing…what are you doing here?
Mike-the-Brother: Just comin' to tell you it's lunch time. Mom told me to—you think I'd ever want to come down here?
Zim (resentfully): You like it well enough when you want my high-speed internet hookup.
Mike-the-Brother (coming over): Yeah, I guess you're good for that. So, what're you working on today?
Zim: Not that I have to tell you, but I am preparing a cure for the evil disease that the Dib has contracted.
Mike-the-Brother (raising an eyebrow): You…are helping Dib?
Zim: No, of course not. The cure is for me…and KidK…if either of us should contract the accursed virus.
Mike-the-Brother: Heheh…
Zim (indignant): What?
Mike-the-Brother: Nothing…but why are you feeding that stuff to my dog? (he realizes what he's just said) Hey! You can't do that! Sammi!
Sammi: *whine?*
Mike-the-Brother: Come here, quick! (he scoops up the dog in his arms) You might kill her, stupid!
Zim: Stupid?! Obviously none of my creations would kill Sammi! The whole point is to ward off death!
Mike-the-Brother: But how will you be able to tell if the cure works if you try it on her? She's not sick.
Zim: …………..curses! For once the Mike-beast is right!
Mike-the-Brother: Oh, my God. You didn't even think of that? Wait'll I tell Gaz about this one…oh man…hahahaha!
Zim: ¬_O………I hate you.
Mike-the-Brother: Hey, don't forget—lunch. Come on, Sam. (he carries the dog away, laughing)
Zim: Putrid human…he will be singing a different tune when I control the amazing sickness cure. I'll create a super-incredible-mega virus and infect him…and then withhold my antidote until he begs for mercy! Bwahahahahaha! Oh, that will be funny. But first—nourishment!
He goes upstairs to fill his body full of nutrients so he'll be ready to work hard in the afternoon, too. Meanwhile, in said upstairs…
KidK's Mom: Hmmmmm…
KidK's Dad: What?
KidK's Mom: Missy didn't come home…
KidK's Dad: She's not here?
KidK's Mom: No. Why don't you know that?
KidK's Dad (shrugging): She's always either holed up in her room or hanging out downstairs on the couch with Zim. So when I don't see her, I just figure she's one of those places, not that she's out. She's out?
KidK's Mom: *sigh* Yes. She went over to see Dib because he's sick. I didn't know she'd be gone this long, though.
KidK's Dad: So call her. She got her cell, right?
KidK's Mom: Probably…I always forget we have those things.
KidK's Dad: For all the money I spend on them, you'd better not forget.
KidK's Mom: That's nice, dear. (she picks up the kitchen phone to dial) Now, what's the number…oh, yes. (she punches the right buttons) Hi, honey?
KidK (on the other end, whispering): Shh! Shh! Wait a sec…(she slips out of Dib's room and shuts the door) Okay, sorry. I didn't know you were gonna call—don't want to wake Dib up.
KidK's Mom: That's all well and good, but why are you still over there? I thought you were just going to go deliver his medicine and water and visit for a while and then come home.
KidK: Oh. Well, you thought wrong.
KidK's Mom: Excuse me?
KidK: No, no, don't be mad. It's just…he's just so…I can't leave him all by himself! Somebody's gotta make sure he's got fresh cold water and that he takes his pills at the right times and—
KidK's Mom: Okay, okay. But what are you going to do about lunch?
KidK: Lunch? (she glances at her watch) Oh, I didn't even notice! Well, that means I must not be hungry, so it's no problem.
KidK's Mom (warningly): I don't want you skipping meals…
KidK: *sigh* I won't. I'll ask Gaz if they've got any food, and if they don't I'll order a pizza. Oh…I just thought of something. What should I feed Dib, if anything?
KidK's Mom: Do you know if he has any stomach-related symptoms?
KidK: I don't think so…none that he's mentioned.
KidK's Mom: Then soup should be okay. Or toast. Nothing heavy, because you can't be sure what flu will do.
KidK: Okay. I'll see what we've got. Thanks, Mom. And thanks for worrying about me, too.
KidK's Mom: Well…you're certainly a diligent nurse, that's for sure.
KidK: Aw, thanks. Coming from you that's a great compliment, Doctor Mom.
KidK's Mom: Alright, smart alec, you go eat. I'll see you later.
KidK: You will. Bye!
KidK's Mom: Bye. (she hangs up the phone)
KidK's Dad: Well?
KidK's Mom: You heard. She's not coming home yet.
KidK's Dad: Good, more Cheez Doodles for me.
KidK's Mom: She doesn't eat those anyway.
KidK's Dad: Oh, right.
And as KidK's Mom starts serving up a healthy lunch to the majority of her housemates, KidK is busy trying to put together a tray for her sick friend.
KidK: Okay…soup. Shouldn't be hard. (she starts following the instructions on a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle)
Gaz (coming out to the kitchen): I heard the word 'pizza.' If you want some, I've got some leftovers down in my 'fridge.
KidK (shocked): You…you'll share your important pizza with me?
Gaz: Well, you're keeping Dib from annoying me, so why not? I was gonna finish it for lunch today anyway.
KidK: Wow…well, I'm gonna cook this up for Dib, and if you want you can get the pizza ready and we'll eat up there.
Gaz: Eat in Dib's room? Man, KidK, you've got some worry instinct. Eh…well, pizza's pizza.
A little while later, the two young ladies are enjoying a tasty meal while the patient carefully tries not to spill his soup all over himself and the bed.
KidK: Is it okay, Dib?
Dib: Mmmhmm…
KidK: You feeling any better?
Dib: A little, I think…
KidK: Well, good. Make sure you drink your water.
Dib: You know, you sound like your Mom.
KidK: O_O………….I don't, do I?
Gaz: I was thinking the same thing before.
KidK: Really? Uh oh…
Dib: No…I don't mean in…sorry…*coughcoughcough*…a bad way…just…you know…Mom-like.
Gaz: Like you actually care about Dib. Huh. Crazy.
KidK: Hey, I just want to make sure he gets better. That doesn't mean I'm like my Mom. That means I'm like a decent human being.
Gaz (ooo, sarcasm): There are decent human beings? When did that new model start coming out?
Dib: I just mean…thanks, KidK.
KidK: You're welcome. You all done?
Dib: Yeah…
KidK: Then it's back off to sleepy-land for you. (she gets up and takes his tray off his lap) Here, give me your glasses too. (she takes these and sets them on the table) I'll go do the dishes and then I'll come back.
Gaz (getting up with her plate): I'm just going—not coming back.
Dib: Okay. Thanks for eating with me, sis.
Gaz: o_ô Eh…(she exits)
KidK (pausing at the door): Try to rest some more, okay? Even if you don't sleep, just lay quietly and let yourself heal.
Dib: I know, I know. *cough* Man…all I do is sleep and cough, huh?
KidK: Yeah…lazy. ^_^
Dib: Okay, now, that was not a Mom thing to say.
KidK: Well, I'm not a Mom.
Dib (snuggling down): You'd make a good one, though.
KidK (blush!): O.O…………..I'll be right back.
She makes a hasty retreat down to the kitchen, as Dib makes his own retreat into sleep. Looks like this illness thing might just be coming to a close…and yet there is another chapter coming…*cackle*
You Just Wait! It's Not Over Yet!