Spring Fever
An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage
Part 3—A Turn For the WorseI had to get my Mommy to help me with this story. She knows about being sick and what you should do for people who are, and she told me so I could be a bit more accurate. She is a very helpful person, no? And so I would like to thank her: Thank You, Mommy! You Rock! Ahem. For those of you who have just joined us, something is happening. Something! And that something is the splicing together of a quote from JtHM with one from SailorStars. You are impressed at this fusion of mine, aren't you? Eh…you have no idea what I'm talking about. I go dance to 'D.J. Hit That Button' now to make myself feel better. But after that…more story! 'That's the way it was meant to be, yeah…'
The scene is Dib's house! Someone else's house this time! WOW! It's now afternoon on Sunday, and KidK is still watching over her friend's progress toward wellness. Dib seems to be in that stage of convalescence when you feel too weak to get up and do anything, but too strong to just lay and sleep. And so he is passing the time talking to KidK. She is listening. ^_^
Dib: …and that was when I knew for sure that I was destined to *cough* to discover the truth about all paranormal phenomena and use my *coughcough* knowledge to protect the world from evil.
KidK: It's great that you've got such an ambitious goal—'aim high,' that's what my grandpa always tells me. (she makes a crease in the square of paper she's holding)
Dib: He supports your goal?
KidK: Well, usually he says it jokingly when I accidentally forget myself and start actually telling people about 'when I have my castle I'm gonna have a huge Asian garden with a koi pond.' (as she talks, the paper slowly finds itself being molded into a diamond shape)
Dib: Castle?
KidK (looking up with an ironic smile): Well, the empress of the world's gotta live somewhere, doesn't she? I'm joking, of course. That'll never happen, and I wouldn't really want to rule Earth anyway. That's Zim's jo—oops.
Dib: No, that's *cough* okay. You live with him, so he's probably got you brainwashed somehow. He won't rule Earth.
KidK: Yeah, I shouldn't say that. He's just trying to take us over for the Empire. He wouldn't rule—the Tallest would…and they just think of this planet as a fun place to hang out so…we've nothing to worry about.
Dib: No, you don't. I'll always be here to stop those aliens at every turn.
KidK: Eternal rivals…there. You've got wings now!
Dib: Hm? Wings? What're you doing? (he turns on his side to retrieve his glasses from the bedside table)
KidK: Makin' paper cranes. See? (she holds out a shiny blue bird for his inspection) I brought my origami paper with me so I'd have something quiet to do while you slept.
For the first time, Dib looks around his room and notices that the floor is littered with cranes of all sizes and colors. There's a pile of different packages of papers by the KidK's seat. It would appear that she's been busy.
KidK: ^_^* Ahaha…I may have gotten a bit out of hand since lunchtime…
Dib: Wow…(he takes the blue crane from her and looks at it from all angles) And you just make these?
KidK: Yep. Isn't it neat? That thing you've got there was once a simple square of metallic foil paper, and now…it's a happy bird. ^.^ That's the biggest kind I've got. See…(she looks around the floor pile and locates another example) I can do them half that size…(she hands Dib a crane with a red-and-white flower kimono pattern)…and a fourth the size…(a green and bubblegum star rice paper crane)…and even an eighth (a miniscule silver metallic crane).
Dib (staring at the birds in his hands): o_o…………but they're so little! How do you get your fingers a…a…*achoo!* (the paper cranes are scattered across the bed) Oops.
KidK: They flew! ^_^ Hee…bless you. (she cocks her head, remembering something) Though I don't have to say that every time now that all these cranes are here—that's what they're for.
Dib: *sniff* What do you mean?
KidK: Paper cranes bring good luck, and especially good health.
Dib: Really?
KidK: That's what the Japanese say. Actually, that's why I brought the paper instead of a book—to make lots of blessings for you.
Dib: I…*cough*…I can keep these?
KidK: Well, *giggle*…I don't know if you'll want to keep all of them, especially if I keep on making them, but sure! You can keep as many as you want.
Dib: Maybe they'll help keep *coughhack* this from happening again.
KidK: If you believe in them, they'll work for sure. So now I ask you—shinjitte iru no? 'Do you believe?'
Dib: Well, it certainly can't hurt…
KidK: Of course not. The cranes are peaceful creatures. ^.^ When I have my castle I'm gonna make sure to have some in every room to give luck to everyone who stays there.
Dib (replacing his glasses and laying back down): *yawn* Can I come visit sometime?
KidK: You kidding? The empress of the world would have to be pretty snotty indeed not to receive the most respected paranormal expert on the planet with a banquet in his honor.
Dib: Heh…
KidK: And you'd be the first one I'd call if my castle ever got haunted by—oh dear, my pocket is ringing again. S'cuse me for a sec.
Dib: Sure. *yawn*
KidK (answering her phone): M'yello?
KidK's Mom (sounding slightly annoyed): Okay, I've been understanding about this so far, but…just how long were you thinking of staying at Dib's bedside?
KidK (dryly): I'm fine, how are you?
KidK's Mom: Don't get smart with me. You can't just be there all day and night!
KidK: Why not?
KidK's Mom: Because you have to come home for dinner at least.
KidK: You're right, I probably should. Gaz and I ate all the pizza and I don't think I could make anything good myself. But it isn't dinner time yet, so why—
KidK's Mom: To give you a heads up. You could give Dib some more soup and then come home and eat for yourself.
KidK: And then come right back.
KidK's Mom: Right, and then…hey! You've got skool tomorrow, you know.
KidK: So? It's not like I'm gonna stay up all night. And even if I did, we don't leave for skool 'til noontime anyway. (note: another slight 'perk' of college)
KidK's Mom: You just make the soup and get your tail here by 6. Then we'll see about anything else.
KidK: *harsh sigh* Fine. I'll be at the table by 6. This had better be some good dinner, Mom, to make me leave my poor sick friend for it. See you.
KidK's Mom: Bye.
KidK (terminating the call): Eh…well, you heard that. I've gotta go home soon. Mom's orders.
Dib: That's okay. You don't have to do…anything…el--*achoo!*
KidK: I have to at least make you dinner before I go. What kind of soup would you like?
Dib: Hmmm…can it be Chikorina?
KidK: Okee dokee. Heheh…I love that word—'chikoriiiinaaaaa.' Uh oh. Now I sound like Gir. Better go do something responsible and adult before I get worse.
Dib: Okay, I'll wait here for you.
KidK (getting up from her chair): Oooo, nice Pratchett-style irony, Dibby. Subtle and yet biting. (gravely) It is only a matter of time before we will have your complete soul…muhahahahaaaaa….
Dib: O.O You're joking, right?
KidK: o_ô Yes?
Dib: *sigh* Good. I'm not up for vanquishing supernatural evil right now…
KidK: *giggle* Okay. I'll be back with lovely soup.
She exits the room, and a time-jump happens! Whee! That is what happens when KidKourage is lazy and can't think of anything to write. Well, at least I am honest. Anyhoo, soup is had, and now it's time for KidK to be at home.
KidK: Phew! Made it just in—O.O
KidK's Mom (glaring from the top of the stairs): You're late.
KidK: No I'm not! My car clock says 6:00 sharp!
KidK's Mom: Well my clock says 6:02.
KidK: Oh, cut it out and feed me. Please?
KidK's Mom: Hmf. I suppose. (she gets out of the way and lets KidK get to the dining room) Everyone else, you'll notice, is already here.
Gir (waving): Hi Missy!
KidK: Hallo, Gir. How's the picture comin'?
Gir: It's goooood. We've got chicken!
KidK: Mmmm, yummy.
Zim: _ Filthy carnivores…
KidK (sitting down at her place): Eh…could be worse. Could be steak.
KidK's Dad: What's wrong with my steak?
Zim: It is meat.
KidK: Nothing's wrong with it, Dad. I just don't like how it feels in my body anymore. It's like…heavy an' chunky or somethin'. Weird.
Zim: And it is meat.
KidK's Mom: Stop complaining. I make you vegetarian stuff every night and you know it.
Zim: And I thank you, mother-human. You have been most accommodating. I just can't understand why you all insist on continuing to eat animal flesh!
KidK's Dad: Hey, shut up. We're trying to eat, here!
Zim: Blahh…it's no wonder you become so easily infected by illnesses.
KidK: Speaking of which, how're you doing, Zim? Remember, your throat was bothering you earlier.
Zim: Hm? Oh, yes. Strange, but it's not anymore. It seems that your puny Earth virus has not found a hold inside my body after all.
KidK: Well, good.
Zim: But I'm still making a cure…just in case.
KidK: Paranoid, are we?
Zim: It is merely a precaution. You have spent a great deal of time close to the diseased Dib-monkey today, so you may very well be the first to take my cure.
Mike-the-Brother: So you made one that works, finally?
Zim (slightly embarrassed): It is still…there are still a few more modifications to be made…
Mike-the-Brother: So you're still a complete failure, is that what you mean?
Zim: No! I just haven't quite finished yet!
KidK: So you're working on a cure, eh? What chance is there that, once you're done, you'll let me give it to Dib?
Zim: None whatsoever.
KidK: Thought so. Had to ask, though.
Gir: Master kin get fixed from anythin'! 'Member when mah sis made the big doo-thingy fall over an go squish?
Zim: Ugh…yes…it's certainly a good thing that Sammi no long behaves like that.
Sammi (putting her front paws on Zim's chair): *yip?*
KidK's Mom (rolling her eyes): Good thing. Sammi, get down.
Sammi: Hrrrrm…hffff. (she slides off)
Gir: But…but…you was broked, Master, an' then you weren't!
Zim: Yes, I made use of the amazing ability of Irken technology to diagnose and treat any injury or illness and 'fixed' myself. (proudly) Just goes to show you inferior humans—we Irkens have you beaten in every way. (as an aside) I don't mean you, KidK, before you say anything.
Mike-the-Brother: Heheheh…
KidK's Dad: So you've got magic healing powers? And what 'big doo-thingy' are you talking about?
KidK: Oh, Dad, you know…my big…um…my big Tupperware fulla anime. Yeah, that's it. That thing's heavy, you know.
KidK's Dad: Oh, okay.
Mike-the-Brother: Anyway, Zim, if you've got a thing that fixes all injuries and illnesses, why do you need a mystical super-cure for Dib's virus?
Zim: Because, stupid, it's not programmed with the data for huuuuman problems.
Mike-the-Brother: Couldn't you program it, though? (sarcastically) You are a genius, after all.
KidK (after giving Mike a glare): You totally could, Zim. But…does it work only on you?
Zim: Of course not. The device can be made to apply to any being. I have used it on Sammi when she has carelessly run into things headfirst and fallen off things.
KidK: You have? (she looks down at Sammi) He helped you, Sam?
Sammi: *pant pant pant yap!*
Gir: One time I sat on sistah so's she could gimme a ride, but…she didn't go an' Master was screamy.
KidK's Mom: That kind of thing I don't want to hear about. You had better not be hurting my dog down there, Zim.
Zim: I'm not. I just said I fixed her.
KidK: So…you're gonna put in the right human data after dinner, right?
Zim: I hadn't thought of that, but it isn't a bad idea. More convenient, anyway.
Mike-the-Brother: But he won't do it because I came up with it.
Zim: Right. I have no need of human assistance. Again I don't mean you, KidK.
KidK: You don't hafta say it. I know.
Mike-the-Brother: *snicker*
Zim: No, I won't be programming my healing mechanism only with Earth illness data—I'll reprogram it with all the data from every star system in the universe! Aaaaahahahahahaaaaaaa!
KidK's Mom: No ranting at the dinner table, Zim.
KidK: Well, that's great Zim! And then you can use it to cure Dib! And we'll sing and dance and I'll make you cookies and…stuff!
Zim: Yes! …I mean no! The Dib will never be helped in any way by this Invader.
KidK: Aw, too bad. They were gonna be double chocolate mint cookies, too…but if you don't want 'em…(note: el evil plan del chapter pasado está progressing)
Zim: Well…perhaps I—
KidK: No, no, wouldn't want you to compromise your mission. Forget I even mentioned it. Well, I'm through eating so…
Mike-the-Brother: Don't tell me you're going back there again.
KidK: Since when do I tell you anything, Mike? Hey, don't feel left out—you can come too. Gaz just started a new Pikmin game, but I'm sure she wouldn't kill you if you wanted to have a Monkey Ball battle.
Mike-the-Brother (thoughtfully): Maybe I will come…
KidK's Mom: You two just make sure you're back by bedtime.
KidK: We will. (she gets up from the table) Just gotta brush our teeth, and then we'll go, okay Mike?
Mike-the-Brother (getting up too): Gotcha.
Soon, after completing their dental hygiene regimen and wishing good luck to Zim on his data collection efforts, KidK and Mike arrive at the Membrane house and knock on the door.
Gaz: You came back? Man…oh, hey Mike.
Mike-the-Brother: Hey.
KidK: He tagged along on account of he wants to know the million and first dustbuster use. (she grins evilly) You should show it to him.
Mike-the-Brother: Huh?
Gaz: Nahh…I'll just beat him senseless at every game we play. Come on, oh persistent victim mine.
Mike-the-Brother: 'kay.
Gaz leads Mike down the stairs to her game room, and KidK heads upward. She slips quietly into Dib's room, which is even darker now that the sun has set. Her eyes quickly adjust to the lack of light, but the sight that meets them makes her wish they hadn't.
KidK: Dib? What happened to your sheets…?
Dib (sounding weaker than ever): KidK…*cough*…can you…turn up the…air conditioning…? (he rubs his eyes with a sleeve) It's…*coughcough*…hot…
KidK (fearfully): Uh oh…let me check the thermostat. (she leaves the room to look for the AC controls, thoughts racing) Why am I checking this…it's not gonna do any good…he's got a fever for sure…it was flu after all…what do I do…can I do anything…gotta try…(she switches course, running downstairs) Gaz! You know if you've got a medical thermometer anywhere?
Gaz (turning from the Game Cube TV): Yeah…it's in the bathroom cabinet. Why?
KidK: I think Dib's running a fever. You've got extra towels in there too, right? (pretty much hysterical) Oh, please say you do and that it doesn't matter if I soak 'em in cold water!
Gaz: o_ô Yes we have towels and no I don't care what you do with them.
Mike-the-Brother: Dib's worse now?
KidK: Yes. I don't know why, but that's viruses for you…dirty cheater! I'll show you yet! (she dashes off)
Mike-the-Brother: Did that scare you too? Um…you think we should help?
Gaz (shrugging): Eh…he'll get better. He always seems to. And your sister won't give up—that's just the kind of person she is—so she won't need us.
Mike-the-Brother: Yeah…we'll only get in her way…if she does ask, though, I'm gonna help.
Gaz: I guess.
Meanwhile, KidK is frantically scrambling around in the bathroom for the stuff she needs. It's hard to carry everything at once. She locates the thermometer and a stack of white hand towels. Next step—something to put ice water in.
KidK: Basin…basin…kitchen! (she runs down to the kitchen and starts pulling things out of cupboards) Here, this oughtta do it…(she has found a huge cooking pot) Now for ice! (she raids the freezer and cracks all the ice cubes within into her pot, then fills the trays up again) And finally…water! (she fills the pot about three-fourths full of freezing cold water—not entirely full to avoid spills ^_^) Hmmmm…okay, I hafta take this up by itself cuz it's heavy…darn you, puny arms!
She manages to lug the gigantic pot of water up the stairs, then goes back down for her other stuff. And now it's time for her to get to work. She pulls Dib's sheets, which had already been kicked to the end of the bed, completely off and throws them on the floor—crushing several cranes, but what can you do?
Dib: What's…
KidK: Shhh…don't worry. It's just me. Gotta get this off of you so you won't be so hot.
Dib: Why is it…*coughcough*…augh…
KidK: Yeah, you've got a fever all right. Have to find out how bad, though. (she shakes the thermometer, not knowing why she has to but remembering that her mother always did) Okay, don't freak—I know you can't see it well, but this is a thermometer and you've gotta hold it under your tongue for a minute.
Dib: O…kay…*cough*
KidK: Ag, this is gonna sound mean, but don't do that. It'll move if you cough. Okay?
Dib: I'll try…(she places the instrument in his mouth) *urk!*
I can't stand having a thermometer under my tongue. It's not a good feeling. Blah, but so's being sick in the first place. Guess you've got to have all that badness at once to save all the good stuff for when you're well. The minute passes with KidK staring at her watch and counting off the seconds in her head. Finally.
KidK: 'kay, that's it. (she removes the thermometer and squints to read it in the darkness) 101º…….that's not good. Let me call my Mom. (she fumbles for her phone in her pocket, locates it, and dials) Hi Mom sorry I can't be polite but Dib's got a fever and I need your help!
KidK's Mom: Okay, slow down. Fever? How high?
KidK: I just took his temperature…it's 101.
KidK's Mom: That's pretty bad, but not hospital-stay bad.
KidK: Right that's all I needed to know so b—
KidK's Mom: Wait, hold on! What are you going to do?
KidK: I got a real big thing of ice water and a bunch of towels an' I'm gonna make compresses…and I've still got a lot of cold bottles of water in the 'fridge and one up here and plenty of pills…
KidK's Mom: Good. The whole idea is just to cool him off so his brain won't get overheated.
KidK: O.O What?! Brain?! Ack! I've gotta hurry! You tell Zim that when he finishes with that programming he'd better get his butt over here or I'll pinch him 'til he can't move! Bye! (she ends the call and throws the phone on the floor) All right, Dib, let's see if we can't do something about that hotness.
With that, the next phase of Operation: Cure gets underway. KidK begins soaking the towels in the pot of frosty water, squeezing them out, folding them up to the right sizes, and laying them on Dib's skin. One for his forehead, one for each of his arms, and…
Dib: O_o What're…you…?
KidK: Sorry sorry, gotta roll up your pantlegs so I can cool off your legs, too.
Dib: Oh…*coughcough*…did your…Mom say…?
KidK: No, she always only gave me one on my head. But I remember that even though that was the most important part to keep cold, that one washrag certainly wasn't doing anything to make the rest of my body feel better. So I've modified her technique a bit. Is that okay, or should I just—
Dib: *sigh* It's…nice…
KidK: Hey, wait, wait—before you go to sleep, see if you can't swallow your medicine. (she tilts his head up a bit and feeds him the pills, then holds the straw of the most recent water bottle to his lips to let him drink) That go down okay?
Dib: Mmmm…cold…sleep now?
KidK (carefully lowering his head back onto the pillow): Yes. Go ahead.
Dib: Good…tired…thank you………….KidK….
And again the chapter ends with poor, poor Dib falling asleep. Hey, he's sick, okay? What, he should dance? Heheh…I am kidding. Now that I've got you good and worried, though, you will all give me candy to make me write more and make Dib well again, won't you? _ No, I don't need candy…it's not good having sick people in your head. So I will work for free, as usual, and bring you the conclusion for sure next time! ^_^
Be Happy, Because This Story Is Continuing And Will Not Leave You In Suspense For Long!