Disclaimer: I will own LoK and its characters someday! But not today
______________________________________________________________
Raziel was walking around the all-important Pillars of Nosgoth before filming and
Dumah was seeing if he could bead-butt the Pillars so hard that they get destroyed
Raziel: Ok, vampires! I, being your new director, shall lead the way. Kain left the script
so that we could..perform!
Dumah: (hitting the Pillar of Conflict too hard) Ok Pillar of Conflict, you win this battle!
Zephon: Sure, what'cha want Raz? (then Zephon sees Faustus come in) Who is that?
Faustus: Hello, I am Faustus. Kain sent me to direct. (Faustus walked in wearing a very
sparkly red shirt that you would see a model wear. His jeans were blue leather, also
sparkling. His shoes were the kind of shoes a tap-dancer would wear, only red and
more stylish)
Rahab: Whoa! Very sharp clothes, man!
Raziel: Oh, no no no no. Kain isn't going to ruin this for me! Damn, your clothes are
like, the latest fashion!
Faustus: Yes, I like to appear good, instead of only wearing a scarf around the bottom
of my head!
Zephon: (to Raziel) HAHAHAHAHA! He-he's talking about you!
Raziel: Yes, I know.
Vorador: Hey, in other words, that scarf is around your neck!
Turel: So?
Vorador: That makes him gay!
Janos: Shut the hell up, Vorador!
Faustus: Well, who all is gonna be in this act?
Raziel: Me! I'll be Kain!
Faustus: You can't, you're the Oracle!
Turel: Can I be Kain?
Faustus: You must be Turel! We could use exceptional singers like you on Broadway!
Turel: (honored) Really!?
Faustus: Yes, really.
Turel: Woo-hoo!
Faustus: Razzyboy, come here!
Raziel: Did you just call me Razzyboy?
Faustus: Yes. I've got an idea! You can be Kain and the Oracle!
Raziel: I guess I can take that.
Faustus: (hands Raziel some clothes) Here, take these!
Raziel: Yeah, thanks..(takes clothes then goes to get changed)
Faustus: (looking around then spots Zephon in his costume) Hey, you must be Zephon!
Zephon: (going over to Faustus) Yeah, what do you want?
Faustus: Who designed those clothes!?
Zephon: Kain.
Faustus: So that's why you don't look stylish! Listen, Nosgoth women these days wear
push-up bras and thongs. And remember, if it sparkles, it's fashion!
Zephon: Really?
Faustus: Yes!
(Then Zephon leaves to get changed into..different clothes)
Faustus: And I shall be King Ottmar, who's in a flashy flashback!
(Raziel came up in his new clothes. He had black jeans that sparkled red, a white t-shirt
that sparkled green, a black leather jacket that said 'Razzyboy' on the back and the
words 'Razzyboy' were lit up with light bulbs, Raziel's hair was changed to being curly,
the makeup Raziel had on made him look slightly feminine and Raziel was wearing one
white glove)
Faustus: PERFECT! That is style if I've ever seen it! What about the sex change to finish
the costume?
Raziel: Not a chance in hell. (pissed off) I look so gay! Whose costume is this?
Faustus: It's the Kain outfit.
Raziel: (in disbelief) KAIN'S!? KAIN ISN'T GAY!
Faustus: Well, he does have that long, girlish ponytail.
Raziel and Faustus: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Raziel: This is classic! I'm willing to look a fool at Kain's expense!
Faustus: Good. Now you won't believe Moebius' costume! Let's start this filming!
The scene is the Pillars, and Raziel, as 'Kain', was just got done talking to Zephon, as
'Ariel'
Raziel (as Kain): Well, I guess I'll have to leave now. (looks up to the mountains) Up
there, there is a cave with an old man in it. An old man sleeps up there, and I will wake
him! (stand heroically)
Zephon (as Ariel): (in nothing more than a push-up bra and a thong and kinda
uncomfortable) I believe a sexy vampire like yourself can brave those perilous
mountains! (starting to having trouble seeing because the light from the words
'Razzyboy' are glowing in his eyes)
Raziel (as Kain): Yes, I shall do it!
Zephon (as Ariel): Good luck, you brave man! (whispers) Ow, this thong is beginning to
hurt. I hope this scene ends soon.
Raziel (as Kain): Then I shall leave! (as himself, he whispers) Man, this kicks ass! I
hope Kain never gets psychologically cured.
(Raziel, as 'Kain', flies into the Bat Beacon that was at the mountain and he sees a tree)
Raziel (as Kain): (looking at his axes) This is gonna be easy! (but since Kain couldn't
afford real axes, these axes were colored paper formed to look like axes. Raziel looks at
the incredibly fake axes) Damn it! (he hit the tree with the fake axes and one of them
fell limp before it hit the tree, hurting Raziel's hand. The other ax hit the tree, but the
ax got caught on a limb and broke) These axes suck! (so Raziel just cuts down the
trees with his soul reaver) Finally!
(Raziel walked forward a bit, killing anyone who got in the way with his flimsy axes, and
since they weren't even sharp enough to cut Jell-O, he could paper cut them to death)
Dumah (as Mortanius): Oh, scrawny vampire, this story grows neat-o! But with so many
horsies can you find the pawn?
Raziel: Why the hell was that in the script when it doesn't make any sense and it's
totally irreverent!
(Raziel walked forward, cold as hell and actually thankful that he had clothes on, even if
they did make him look totally gay. Eventually he got to a lake surrounded by ice)
Raziel: I can go swimming and Kain can't! (so Raziel dived in..and no one heard from
him in about an hour. Someone finally had the bright idea that someone might want to
help him. Rahab got him out of the water, and Raziel was in a fetal position..frozen
solid in ice)
Rahab: Cut!
(then the film started again after getting a handy blow-dryer, Raziel hopped from
ice to ice then reached a cave)
Raziel: (upon receiving Stun) The human mind is an empty thing. One minor shock and
then I can feed! (of course, this was strange coming from someone with no bottom
way of actually sucking blood, so Raziel kind of slurped up blood)
(Raziel eventually made his way back to the front of the cave and ventured farther to
the right, where there were teepees and Indians)
Raziel (as Kain): Stupid Indians! I can beat them with one hand tied behind my back!
(then an Indian threw an ax a Raziel) Ow! Pathetic SOBs! (so Raziel killed all the people
in this little hippy Indian village and tried to slurp the blood up) It's so hard to drink
blood!
(Raziel then wondered around the place looking for where to go then saw a cave and
Raziel went inside)
Turel (as Blood Fountain): (with his most poetic voice) Come hither Kain, and quench
your thirst from thine own self.
Faustus (off-screen directing): That was beautiful Tur.
Turel: Hey, I have a nickname! From now on, call me Tur!
Raziel: Back to the frickin' script! (as Kain) Ah, a blood fountain! (Raziel slurps up the
blood like a dog drinks from a bowl)
Turel (as Blood Fountain): The snoweth shan't doeth you no any harmth. Thineself may
now maketh snow angelsth. (muttering to himself) Man, Shakespeare had a
complicated language!
(Then Raziel left and went through cave 1, killed things, went to cave 2, killed more
things, nothing much exciting till he got to cave 137. He saw a new kind of enemy that
he thought was SUPPOSED to look like a blue fireball, but was much different looking)
Raziel: OH MY LORD, IS THAT MUTATED SPERM OR SOMETHING!?
Faustus (still directing): Raziel!
Raziel: But that's what it looks like! Sick!
(Raziel continued on, afraid to touch those sperm-looking enemies and fought, killed,
avoided sperm look-alikes. He done that for the next 5,000 caves until he reached one
cave that was kinda like a museum)
Raziel (as Kain): (looks around and finds a shield) Shiny! (to himself) Now why the hell
didn't Kain pick this shield up to protect himself? (finds a crest) (as Kain) I recognized
that crest from my youth. (to himself) How come he could remember his youth and I
can't?
Faustus (off-screen) Raziel, what did I tell you about being a smart-ass?
Raziel: Don't be a smart-ass?
Fuastus: (off-screen) Correct.
(Raziel discovered an ancient chronicle)
Raziel (as Kian): Hey, that's an ancient chronicle! I'll read it! It says:
Hs ghd cmyinf gksfc gknp sahnd ndhcnaru fjiv shf xjgfju jv djt jckeaf, Jcgx fjc Kxhcls dhoucnd smk Hakcisn ktnd skhftndjs.
Raziel (as Kain): I had read enough! I don't think that's what the chronicle really said,
but I never passed 1st grade reading, so I shall never know. (sees a guillotine that was
wet with blood) I wonder why that guillotine is wet with blood? (sees armor) (to
Faustus as Raziel) I won't make a smart-ass comment.
Faustus: Good.
(Raziel went through the door to find that the scene ended there so that Raziel could
dress as Moebius and the camera would never be on both of them at the same time so
that Raziel could dress as both Moebius and Raziel. Raziel, as 'Moebius', had on a blue
robe with bolts of electricity drawn on, with the words Time Streamer flashing and
some aviator glasses on his eyes to look cool. He also had on sparkling glass shoes)
Raziel (as Moebius): A nobleman? Seeking wisdom? Well, you're too dumb to
understand anything, so get the hell out!
Raziel (as Kain): Enough BS, give me questions!
Raziel (as Moebius): Questions indeed! I have them all if you have the answers. And
what are the answers for these questions? King Ottmar-the only hope of defeating the
Nemeses. King Ottmar, paralyzed by the daughter's deep sleep, that sexy bottle-neck.
King Ottmar the useless complete dumbass! So, vile vampire bitch, what are the
answers?
Raziel (as Kain): A box upon your tricks and bubbles, old hag! Riddle me this: Who the
hell is Malek, and how the hell do I defeat him?
Raziel (as Moebius): All in time sire. Yes time. Unless it masters you, you shall master
it! And now it's time for your question: Malek, defender of Nine who screwed up. His
vanity led to the circle's slaughter and I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! COULD YOU
PLEASE GET MORTANIUS TO STOP BITCHING ABOUT IT!? He got defeated by Vorador.
Raziel (as Kain): Riddle me this: Who is Vorador?
Raziel (as Moebius): Follow the glow of the Ignus Flatulence.
Raziel (as Kain): Inga Flatland?
Raziel (as Moebius): Ignus Flatulence, you moron! Pay attention. It is your path, follow
it into hell! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! (then Raziel, as
'Moebius', disappears)
____________________________________________________________
After filming
Fuastus: Very good everybody! Stylish and flashy. Especially Kain's outfit and Zephon's!
Zephon: How does Umah or Ariel wear thong!? They hurt like hell! (everyone stares at
him) What?
Faustus: Oh well. That's a rap people! Oh, and look! Bloopers!
--------------------------------------------
Take 1
Raziel (as Kain): Well, I guess I'll have to leave no-
(Zephon's push-up bra falls off)
Zephon: Well, would ya look at that? I'll be damned!
--------------------------------------------
Take 2
Zephon (as Ariel): I believe a sexy vampire like yourself can brave those perilous
mountains! (starting to having trouble seeing because the light from the words
'Razzyboy' are glowing in his eyes) Ahhh!!! Never look straight into a light!
------------------------------------------
Take 9
Raziel (as Kain): (looking at his axes) This is gonna be easy! (then Raziel gets a paper-
cut) Ouch! IT HURTS!
Dumah: (bringing a water jug) Here, put some water on that wound!
Raziel: (puts water in that wound) Thanks. (then just realizes what he's done) IT
BURNS! (then Raziel got Dumah with the Fire Glyph)
-------------------------------------------
Take 15
Raziel: I can go swimming and Kain can't! (then Raziel dives for the ater, misses it, slips
on the ice, hits a mountain on the other side, falling snow fall all over Raziel) IT BURNS!
WHY DOES SNOW BURN US!?
Faustus: Don't be a smart-ass!
---------------------------------------
Take 19
Turel (as Blood Fountain): (with his most poetic voice) Come thither Kain..oops,
sorry, it's hither, my mistake.
Raziel: So? None of it makes any sense anyway.
Turel: (very pissed off) WHAT!? OF COURSE IT DOES! DON'T INSULT MY IDOL
SHAKESPEARE, OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Raziel: (totally shocked) Whoa! Sorry.
-------------------------------------------------------
Take 23
(Then Raziel left and went through cave 1, killed things, went to cave 2, killed more
things, nothing much exciting till he got to cave 137. He saw a new kind of enemy that
he thought was SUPPOSED to look like a blue fireball, but was much different looking)
Vorador: Hehehe! That looks just like sperm.
Janos: You're a sick bastard.
Vorador: You're a hippy.
-------------------------------------------------
Take 28
Raziel (as Kain): (looks around and finds a shield) Shiny! (to himself) Now why the hell
didn't Kain pick- (then one of the light bulbs to the words Razzyboy blew up,
electrocuting Raziel) Hey, that felt kinda good!
______________________________________________________
Faustus: Well, that was fun people, hopefully I can be the director again tomorrow! Y'all
did a good day's work! Now leave! (they all left) I can't wait to let Raziel know that I
beat him at the sexiest thing ever awards by 500 votes! He'll be so pissed! And who
was that other nominee, Steve Ercle? He got 3rd place, hadn't heard of him before.
__________________________________________________________
I didn't think this chapter was gonna be as long as it was, I got this done quickly. Well, you better have liked this, OR ELSE! Why am I bothering, you people aren't afraid of me. Don't forget to review!
______________________________________________________________
Raziel was walking around the all-important Pillars of Nosgoth before filming and
Dumah was seeing if he could bead-butt the Pillars so hard that they get destroyed
Raziel: Ok, vampires! I, being your new director, shall lead the way. Kain left the script
so that we could..perform!
Dumah: (hitting the Pillar of Conflict too hard) Ok Pillar of Conflict, you win this battle!
Zephon: Sure, what'cha want Raz? (then Zephon sees Faustus come in) Who is that?
Faustus: Hello, I am Faustus. Kain sent me to direct. (Faustus walked in wearing a very
sparkly red shirt that you would see a model wear. His jeans were blue leather, also
sparkling. His shoes were the kind of shoes a tap-dancer would wear, only red and
more stylish)
Rahab: Whoa! Very sharp clothes, man!
Raziel: Oh, no no no no. Kain isn't going to ruin this for me! Damn, your clothes are
like, the latest fashion!
Faustus: Yes, I like to appear good, instead of only wearing a scarf around the bottom
of my head!
Zephon: (to Raziel) HAHAHAHAHA! He-he's talking about you!
Raziel: Yes, I know.
Vorador: Hey, in other words, that scarf is around your neck!
Turel: So?
Vorador: That makes him gay!
Janos: Shut the hell up, Vorador!
Faustus: Well, who all is gonna be in this act?
Raziel: Me! I'll be Kain!
Faustus: You can't, you're the Oracle!
Turel: Can I be Kain?
Faustus: You must be Turel! We could use exceptional singers like you on Broadway!
Turel: (honored) Really!?
Faustus: Yes, really.
Turel: Woo-hoo!
Faustus: Razzyboy, come here!
Raziel: Did you just call me Razzyboy?
Faustus: Yes. I've got an idea! You can be Kain and the Oracle!
Raziel: I guess I can take that.
Faustus: (hands Raziel some clothes) Here, take these!
Raziel: Yeah, thanks..(takes clothes then goes to get changed)
Faustus: (looking around then spots Zephon in his costume) Hey, you must be Zephon!
Zephon: (going over to Faustus) Yeah, what do you want?
Faustus: Who designed those clothes!?
Zephon: Kain.
Faustus: So that's why you don't look stylish! Listen, Nosgoth women these days wear
push-up bras and thongs. And remember, if it sparkles, it's fashion!
Zephon: Really?
Faustus: Yes!
(Then Zephon leaves to get changed into..different clothes)
Faustus: And I shall be King Ottmar, who's in a flashy flashback!
(Raziel came up in his new clothes. He had black jeans that sparkled red, a white t-shirt
that sparkled green, a black leather jacket that said 'Razzyboy' on the back and the
words 'Razzyboy' were lit up with light bulbs, Raziel's hair was changed to being curly,
the makeup Raziel had on made him look slightly feminine and Raziel was wearing one
white glove)
Faustus: PERFECT! That is style if I've ever seen it! What about the sex change to finish
the costume?
Raziel: Not a chance in hell. (pissed off) I look so gay! Whose costume is this?
Faustus: It's the Kain outfit.
Raziel: (in disbelief) KAIN'S!? KAIN ISN'T GAY!
Faustus: Well, he does have that long, girlish ponytail.
Raziel and Faustus: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Raziel: This is classic! I'm willing to look a fool at Kain's expense!
Faustus: Good. Now you won't believe Moebius' costume! Let's start this filming!
The scene is the Pillars, and Raziel, as 'Kain', was just got done talking to Zephon, as
'Ariel'
Raziel (as Kain): Well, I guess I'll have to leave now. (looks up to the mountains) Up
there, there is a cave with an old man in it. An old man sleeps up there, and I will wake
him! (stand heroically)
Zephon (as Ariel): (in nothing more than a push-up bra and a thong and kinda
uncomfortable) I believe a sexy vampire like yourself can brave those perilous
mountains! (starting to having trouble seeing because the light from the words
'Razzyboy' are glowing in his eyes)
Raziel (as Kain): Yes, I shall do it!
Zephon (as Ariel): Good luck, you brave man! (whispers) Ow, this thong is beginning to
hurt. I hope this scene ends soon.
Raziel (as Kain): Then I shall leave! (as himself, he whispers) Man, this kicks ass! I
hope Kain never gets psychologically cured.
(Raziel, as 'Kain', flies into the Bat Beacon that was at the mountain and he sees a tree)
Raziel (as Kain): (looking at his axes) This is gonna be easy! (but since Kain couldn't
afford real axes, these axes were colored paper formed to look like axes. Raziel looks at
the incredibly fake axes) Damn it! (he hit the tree with the fake axes and one of them
fell limp before it hit the tree, hurting Raziel's hand. The other ax hit the tree, but the
ax got caught on a limb and broke) These axes suck! (so Raziel just cuts down the
trees with his soul reaver) Finally!
(Raziel walked forward a bit, killing anyone who got in the way with his flimsy axes, and
since they weren't even sharp enough to cut Jell-O, he could paper cut them to death)
Dumah (as Mortanius): Oh, scrawny vampire, this story grows neat-o! But with so many
horsies can you find the pawn?
Raziel: Why the hell was that in the script when it doesn't make any sense and it's
totally irreverent!
(Raziel walked forward, cold as hell and actually thankful that he had clothes on, even if
they did make him look totally gay. Eventually he got to a lake surrounded by ice)
Raziel: I can go swimming and Kain can't! (so Raziel dived in..and no one heard from
him in about an hour. Someone finally had the bright idea that someone might want to
help him. Rahab got him out of the water, and Raziel was in a fetal position..frozen
solid in ice)
Rahab: Cut!
(then the film started again after getting a handy blow-dryer, Raziel hopped from
ice to ice then reached a cave)
Raziel: (upon receiving Stun) The human mind is an empty thing. One minor shock and
then I can feed! (of course, this was strange coming from someone with no bottom
way of actually sucking blood, so Raziel kind of slurped up blood)
(Raziel eventually made his way back to the front of the cave and ventured farther to
the right, where there were teepees and Indians)
Raziel (as Kain): Stupid Indians! I can beat them with one hand tied behind my back!
(then an Indian threw an ax a Raziel) Ow! Pathetic SOBs! (so Raziel killed all the people
in this little hippy Indian village and tried to slurp the blood up) It's so hard to drink
blood!
(Raziel then wondered around the place looking for where to go then saw a cave and
Raziel went inside)
Turel (as Blood Fountain): (with his most poetic voice) Come hither Kain, and quench
your thirst from thine own self.
Faustus (off-screen directing): That was beautiful Tur.
Turel: Hey, I have a nickname! From now on, call me Tur!
Raziel: Back to the frickin' script! (as Kain) Ah, a blood fountain! (Raziel slurps up the
blood like a dog drinks from a bowl)
Turel (as Blood Fountain): The snoweth shan't doeth you no any harmth. Thineself may
now maketh snow angelsth. (muttering to himself) Man, Shakespeare had a
complicated language!
(Then Raziel left and went through cave 1, killed things, went to cave 2, killed more
things, nothing much exciting till he got to cave 137. He saw a new kind of enemy that
he thought was SUPPOSED to look like a blue fireball, but was much different looking)
Raziel: OH MY LORD, IS THAT MUTATED SPERM OR SOMETHING!?
Faustus (still directing): Raziel!
Raziel: But that's what it looks like! Sick!
(Raziel continued on, afraid to touch those sperm-looking enemies and fought, killed,
avoided sperm look-alikes. He done that for the next 5,000 caves until he reached one
cave that was kinda like a museum)
Raziel (as Kain): (looks around and finds a shield) Shiny! (to himself) Now why the hell
didn't Kain pick this shield up to protect himself? (finds a crest) (as Kain) I recognized
that crest from my youth. (to himself) How come he could remember his youth and I
can't?
Faustus (off-screen) Raziel, what did I tell you about being a smart-ass?
Raziel: Don't be a smart-ass?
Fuastus: (off-screen) Correct.
(Raziel discovered an ancient chronicle)
Raziel (as Kian): Hey, that's an ancient chronicle! I'll read it! It says:
Hs ghd cmyinf gksfc gknp sahnd ndhcnaru fjiv shf xjgfju jv djt jckeaf, Jcgx fjc Kxhcls dhoucnd smk Hakcisn ktnd skhftndjs.
Raziel (as Kain): I had read enough! I don't think that's what the chronicle really said,
but I never passed 1st grade reading, so I shall never know. (sees a guillotine that was
wet with blood) I wonder why that guillotine is wet with blood? (sees armor) (to
Faustus as Raziel) I won't make a smart-ass comment.
Faustus: Good.
(Raziel went through the door to find that the scene ended there so that Raziel could
dress as Moebius and the camera would never be on both of them at the same time so
that Raziel could dress as both Moebius and Raziel. Raziel, as 'Moebius', had on a blue
robe with bolts of electricity drawn on, with the words Time Streamer flashing and
some aviator glasses on his eyes to look cool. He also had on sparkling glass shoes)
Raziel (as Moebius): A nobleman? Seeking wisdom? Well, you're too dumb to
understand anything, so get the hell out!
Raziel (as Kain): Enough BS, give me questions!
Raziel (as Moebius): Questions indeed! I have them all if you have the answers. And
what are the answers for these questions? King Ottmar-the only hope of defeating the
Nemeses. King Ottmar, paralyzed by the daughter's deep sleep, that sexy bottle-neck.
King Ottmar the useless complete dumbass! So, vile vampire bitch, what are the
answers?
Raziel (as Kain): A box upon your tricks and bubbles, old hag! Riddle me this: Who the
hell is Malek, and how the hell do I defeat him?
Raziel (as Moebius): All in time sire. Yes time. Unless it masters you, you shall master
it! And now it's time for your question: Malek, defender of Nine who screwed up. His
vanity led to the circle's slaughter and I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! COULD YOU
PLEASE GET MORTANIUS TO STOP BITCHING ABOUT IT!? He got defeated by Vorador.
Raziel (as Kain): Riddle me this: Who is Vorador?
Raziel (as Moebius): Follow the glow of the Ignus Flatulence.
Raziel (as Kain): Inga Flatland?
Raziel (as Moebius): Ignus Flatulence, you moron! Pay attention. It is your path, follow
it into hell! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! (then Raziel, as
'Moebius', disappears)
____________________________________________________________
After filming
Fuastus: Very good everybody! Stylish and flashy. Especially Kain's outfit and Zephon's!
Zephon: How does Umah or Ariel wear thong!? They hurt like hell! (everyone stares at
him) What?
Faustus: Oh well. That's a rap people! Oh, and look! Bloopers!
--------------------------------------------
Take 1
Raziel (as Kain): Well, I guess I'll have to leave no-
(Zephon's push-up bra falls off)
Zephon: Well, would ya look at that? I'll be damned!
--------------------------------------------
Take 2
Zephon (as Ariel): I believe a sexy vampire like yourself can brave those perilous
mountains! (starting to having trouble seeing because the light from the words
'Razzyboy' are glowing in his eyes) Ahhh!!! Never look straight into a light!
------------------------------------------
Take 9
Raziel (as Kain): (looking at his axes) This is gonna be easy! (then Raziel gets a paper-
cut) Ouch! IT HURTS!
Dumah: (bringing a water jug) Here, put some water on that wound!
Raziel: (puts water in that wound) Thanks. (then just realizes what he's done) IT
BURNS! (then Raziel got Dumah with the Fire Glyph)
-------------------------------------------
Take 15
Raziel: I can go swimming and Kain can't! (then Raziel dives for the ater, misses it, slips
on the ice, hits a mountain on the other side, falling snow fall all over Raziel) IT BURNS!
WHY DOES SNOW BURN US!?
Faustus: Don't be a smart-ass!
---------------------------------------
Take 19
Turel (as Blood Fountain): (with his most poetic voice) Come thither Kain..oops,
sorry, it's hither, my mistake.
Raziel: So? None of it makes any sense anyway.
Turel: (very pissed off) WHAT!? OF COURSE IT DOES! DON'T INSULT MY IDOL
SHAKESPEARE, OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Raziel: (totally shocked) Whoa! Sorry.
-------------------------------------------------------
Take 23
(Then Raziel left and went through cave 1, killed things, went to cave 2, killed more
things, nothing much exciting till he got to cave 137. He saw a new kind of enemy that
he thought was SUPPOSED to look like a blue fireball, but was much different looking)
Vorador: Hehehe! That looks just like sperm.
Janos: You're a sick bastard.
Vorador: You're a hippy.
-------------------------------------------------
Take 28
Raziel (as Kain): (looks around and finds a shield) Shiny! (to himself) Now why the hell
didn't Kain pick- (then one of the light bulbs to the words Razzyboy blew up,
electrocuting Raziel) Hey, that felt kinda good!
______________________________________________________
Faustus: Well, that was fun people, hopefully I can be the director again tomorrow! Y'all
did a good day's work! Now leave! (they all left) I can't wait to let Raziel know that I
beat him at the sexiest thing ever awards by 500 votes! He'll be so pissed! And who
was that other nominee, Steve Ercle? He got 3rd place, hadn't heard of him before.
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I didn't think this chapter was gonna be as long as it was, I got this done quickly. Well, you better have liked this, OR ELSE! Why am I bothering, you people aren't afraid of me. Don't forget to review!