Disclaimer: I don't own LoK, but with your help, I might be able to!
____________________________________________
The scene was Kain's throne room
Kain: Where the hell is Zephon?
Raziel: He's not here.
Kain: Well, THANK YOU MR. OBVIOUS!
(Dumah and the others walked up)
Dumah: You know, I heard he went to a nudist meeting.
Rahab: (still scarred) (twitch) Um...um...AHHH!!! (Rahab runs off)
Turel: Now why'd you have to go and scare Rahab?
Kain: It's not my fault Rehab can't be all there in the head!
Melchiah: Actually, it is your fault.
Kain: (grabs Melchiah's head and throws it as far as possible) What were you saying?
(then, off in the distance, the Seer sees Melchiah's head and fetches it then returns it to
his body)
Melchiah: Thanks.
Seer: Anything for you. Let's play 'Find the body part!' I get to choose the part of your
body that I get to find.
Melchiah: I think she's talking about my-
Kain: (annoyed) Yes, I know! (then Melchiah and the Seer run off) Y'know Dumah, you
might just be right.
Dumah: Thanks, favorite father!
Kain: (to Dumah) You're welcome favorite son! (sees Raziel frown as best a person with
only an upper jaw could) I'm sorry, I mean-(sees Raziel brighten up) Thank you, best
favorite son Dumah.
Raziel: (to himself) Nobody loves me!
Kain: But who could be the leader of a nudist meeting in Nosgoth! What pathetic
person could do that!?
Then the scene switched to the nudist meeting, and the leader was just about to begin
Sebastion: (speaking through the voice box that he always has so strategically hidden
under his clothes) Your nudist leader is speaking, so listen up!
(all the nudists listened)
Sebastion: We have two new members today! Let's introduce Zephon!
(Zephon came walking in)
Zephon: Hey people! (to himself) This is gonna be a blast! I get to see women naked!
Sebastion: Welcome so. ...? ...!
Zephon: Um, what's wrong?
Sebastion: ...!
Zephon: (sees something fall out of his shirt and picks it up) Here's your voice box.
Sebastion: (turning on his voice box again) Thank you. And lets introduce out next
member...Umah!
Zephon: Uh-oh.
(Umah walks in)
Umah: I feel refreshed and I think this will be a good experience Sebastion. (sees that
Zephon is here too) Aw, damn it!
Zephon: Hey, it's Big Boobs!
Umah: Don't discriminate me!
Zephon: What'd I do!?
Umah: I'll kill you!
Sebastion: Everybody calm down!
Zephon: Well, she started it.
Random Dumahim: You two need to stop flirting!
Zephon and Umah: What!?
Sebastion: Ok, people! We didn't come here to fight. We came here to open up and
experience nature.
Zephon: Fine, I'll cooperate...for nature's sake.
Umah: Fine. I'll cooperate, but I still hate Zephon.
Zephon: I have an observation to make!
Sebastion: Yes?
Zephon: Umah's got a tight butt. (Umah stares at him menacingly) What, that's a
compliment!
Back at the throne room
Kain: Well, I guess we won't do the part with Dejoule today. We'll wait until tomorrow,
but for today, we're going till-(Vorador came running in upset) What now you big
woman?
Vorador: I failed my first gynecologist exam today!
Turel: Man, let's just start filming!
Kain: (to Turel) I say that! (to everyone) Let's just start filming so we don't have to
hear the big woman Vorador cry like a baby!
The scene was Kain's throne room, although it kinda looked like the exit from Vorador's
sanctuary because it had a cardboard cave and a cardboard tree and the filming has
started
(Kain walked forward and was inside the exit with more uber-elastic people. Then Kain
had an idea)
Kain: I wonder if this will work? (when the uber-elastic person stretched out, Kain
grabbed its head, held it, then released. Then he heard a snap) Just like a rubber band,
it snaps in half if you stretch it too hard! That was fun, I hope there are still others!
(so Kain walks away, only to find himself outside, then he had a thought)
Kain: I have a thought. I will become that monster of a pervert like Vorador if I can't
control my curse. Luckily, I have complete self-control! (sees what looks like an arm on
the ground, but Kain, with his self-control, just stood his ground)
Kain: (getting anxious) Yep, self-control. (then Kain dives at it) Self- control is overrated.
(then Kain looked and saw he was on a small cliff-like structure, then got immediately
happy, knowing it means he'll have to turn into a wolf)
Kain: Yay!!! (so Kain turned into a wolf and hopped down and was so happy about
being a wolf up until another wolf bit him in his jugular vein) Ow!!! Damn wolves! (then
Kain slaughtered all of the wolves and continued on, wishing for ouch-free BandAids.
Then Kain saw some big red dome)
Dumah (as Mortanius): Go north till you see some freaky building Kain. Oh, and watch
out for the lava. If you touch it, guess what happens. (Kain rolled his eyes) You'll get
hurt, that's what'll happen!
Kain: (annoyed) Thank you. (Kain then wondered around and found a sign that said:
Uschtenheim) Ah, another unintelligible name. Ushertehem was were Jano Audrey had
feasted. But he's a pansy! I mean, this is a very tiny village! No wonder he always
hunted here, the pretty boy knew he'd get caught if he hunted anywhere else!
(then Kain went up to the north, where some extremely deformed skeleton awaited,
and the skeleton was really just a bunch of bones from an eaten turkey)
Kain: (fake astonishment) This pathetic...thing was warped beyond all, what's the
word? It was warped beyond all condensation. (looks closer and sees a wallet fall out
that said 'Hello, I'm Uri Gellar') To think that this thing was once human! (then
Kain kills it and sucks its black blood. Then he spits the blood out) Eww!!! Nasty! Hey
that was neat-o!
(now Kain went further north and saw a cave, but a large half-torso half- whatever the
hell its supposed to be stood in the way)
Kain: Damn! That thing is big and fat! (then he observes it) Hey, it looks like Jabba the
Hut! (then it spits poison at Kain and it hits Kain) Aw! You SOB, I hate getting
poisoned! Such strange creatures evolved from this Dark Eden's black magic. Sick as it
was, I could not help but to admire its creator's...sick and twisted mind! This thing is
ugly as hell! (so Kain killed it and wandered into the cave, still poisoned)
Dumah (as Blood Fountain): (in big, menacing voice) Welcome, vampire!
Kain: Dumah! I thought Melchiah was gonna do the Blood Fountain!
Dumah: Well, he was but him and the Seer has lost one of his parts. She accidentally
broke Melchiah.
Kain: (sighs in frustration, then drinks the fake blood)
Dumah (as Blood Fountain): Your magic energy recovers more quickly, for our blood
enhances.
Kain: You're supposed to say it with feeling!
Dumah (as Blood Fountain): Now, go the hell away!
(so Kain leaves the cave, fights a few more Jabba-wannabes, then gets to a long gray
demon with teeth which was really just a dachshund painted gray with fake teeth
sticking out)
Kain: (surveying the scene and looking at the doggie demon) If it could be said that a
land descended into madness...then that sounds like something that William
Shakespeare would say, so it makes completely no sense and is totally stupid.
(then Kain brings down his weapon, but couldn't find it in his heart to kill the innocent
little doggie)
Kain: Damn it! (then Kain looked to see Dark Eden expanding) I had a feeling that this
Dark Eden would grow and become bigger unless someone could stop it! Well, don't
look at me, I'm just the anti-hero.
(then Kain walks further with the dog demon following him till he got to the magic shell
of Dark Eden)
Kain: I watched the dome expand and devour energy of life, leaving only a twisted and
frickin' funny parody of life behind. No wonder life is so stupid, it's a parody.
Dog: Arf!
Kain: (looks at the dog, annoyed) Why are you still here?
(then Kain and the dog passed the shell)
Kain: I got through the magic wall completely unharmed. I guess the magic only prayed
on things that were alive and pure.
Rahab (from off-screen): I'M NOT PURE! WAHHH!!! (sobs uncontrollably)
Dumah (from off-screen): Don't be such a weak woman!
Kain: (to Rahab and Dumah) SHUT THE HELL UP! (then back to the script) Or, perhaps
it simply decided that I was twisted enough. (to himself) Oh yeah, I'm good.
Dog: Arf!
Kain: Ok, why the hell did the dog make it through? (to the dog) I'm warning you, if
you stab me in the ass with an axe-helmet like those annoying-as-hell things in Soul
Reaver 2, then your life is over)
(then Kain wondered around killings stuff...and things. And when he wasn't killings
things, he was either walking or playing in the mud and lava with Dog. Then as Kain
got closer, he could see the castle from the distance)
Kain: (dramatically) A tower stood in the distance. From the top (then Kain shifted to a
heroic stance) it spewed energy that shaped and deformed our land. It's up to a hero
like me to stop it.
Dog: Bark!
Kain: (really getting annoyed with Dog) Dammit Dog! It's not as daring or heroic with
you interrupting me all the time! (then Kain raised his sword up to kill Dog...but he
just couldn't) Crap! This must be how you pesks survive in the wild!
(then when Kain got further, he saw more deformed humans and more dachshunds,
and since he was ashamed of himself for not being able to kill something, he just ran
inside the castle)
Kain: (looking around) The surface of the castle bellied its exterior...yeah, I don't
know what that means either. Why'd I even say that, I must've been on crack or
something at the time. But it was larger inside than out, like those old cartoons. Stupid
bunny ALWAYS taking the wrong turn at Albuquerque. But with all the powers the Circle
had, why not just make extra space for this place? (then Kain thought for a moment)
Cause even Vorador could beat them up. The Circle are such wussys.
Dog: Grrr!
Kain: (to Dog) Shut up!
(then Kain left and explored more rooms and eventually got to a room that had a bunch
of chemicals)
Kain: Wow! I'm gonna have fun with this! This is a sorceress' laboratory! There are all
sorts of things here, like pickled bodies (Kain picks up one of the pickle- covered bodies
and eats it) wow! Now that's crunchy! What else is here? (sees a dissected corpse)
Awsome! These things are the best! (then Kain sensed more than one force being
manipulated) I sense more than one force being manipulated. That's strange.
sorceresses...sorceressi...sorceressis, whatever the hell that is. Well, they don't
work together.
Dog: Arf! Bark!
Kain: I swear, if Rehab didn't love animals so much I'd kill you where you stand!
(then Kain went forward, killing things while getting his butt kicked all the time partly
because of his Chaos Armor and then Kain entered a room that had a spell and axes
swinging from the walls)
Kain: (receiving the spell) Aw dude! It's Spirit Death! Man, this is bitchin'est! This spell
is worthy of the Neroticmancer himself! I get to dissect a creature's soul. Just like
Raziel! I mean, just like my ingrate son! I know not to use this spell on myself! (then
Kain looks around the set and decides a target) Rehab, come here!
(Rahab, still scarred, inches toward Kain)
Rahab: (very twitchy) Um...ahhh! I mean...what? AHHH!!!
Kain: I need to test something! (Kain uses Spirit Death on Rahab, hurting him but not
killing him)
Rahab: (pain and twitch) Gyahhhhhh!!! (runs off screaming)
Kain: This is fun as hell!
(so Kain goes around using his new-found spell and having lots of fun until the same
thing that kills all of his fun happens. He runs out of magic)
Kain: Awww, I was really on a role!
(so Kain wonders around the dungeon some more and finds the Flesh Armor)
Kain: (getting the Armor) Oh, cool! With this the armor sucks blood for me! (puts on
the Flesh Armor, which is really just a red jump-suit) This looks like a bloody jump-suit.
Now I can breath in outer space! No wait, that's a space suit.
(then Kain walks forward, teleports a lot, kills a lot, then finds a door leading to Bane,
Dejoule, and Anacrothe. As soon as Kain goes through the door, the filming ends)
____________________________________________________________
Kain: That sure was fun filming! But now I've gotta go get Zephon from the evil
clutches of the nudists, since he's too stupid to protect himself from naked people.
The scene is now the nudist meeting. Everyone's naked except Zephon and
Umah, who's holding a knife
Umah: Zephon, I'm not getting naked in front of you!
Zephon: It'll be fresh!
Sabastion: (holding voice box) Yes, it's good for you!
Umah: Fine, you get naked first Zephon!
Zephon: Not with you holding that knife! I have a clue as to what you might do!
Sebastion: (holding voice box) It's nature, Umah. Nature hates knives!
Umah: (to Sebastion) Shut up, you naked freak!
Then Kain bursts in and sees everyone
Kain: (sees Sevastion naked and covers his eyes) I should've known you were the sick
bastard organizing this!
Sebastion: (with voice box) This is nature's way!
Kain: (disgusted) Well nature's way is sick! I can't believe-(sees a naked woman, then
in a seductive tone) Hey lady!
Zephon: Help me Kain!
Kain: Why aren't you naked Umah!
Random Dumahim (same as earlier): Wow, are we gonna have an orgy!?
Zephon: Help me!
Kain: Umah, you can't hurt a blind person. That's horrible!
Zephon: But I'm not blind!
Kain: (sprays a bunch of mace into Zephon's eyes) Now you are.
Zephon: IT BURNS!!! (then Zephon leaves)
Kain: (to Umah) Can I see you naked? (she glares menacingly at him) That's a no.
(then to Sebastion) Oh, and Sebastion. (Kain walks over, snatches Sebastion's voice
box, then crushes it and leaves)
Sebastion: ...! ...? ...!?
______________________________________________________ Well, the reason this chapter took so long was because of writer's block. It was kind of hard finding some ways to make this place humorous. I promise the next chapter will be better. Don't forget to review!
____________________________________________
The scene was Kain's throne room
Kain: Where the hell is Zephon?
Raziel: He's not here.
Kain: Well, THANK YOU MR. OBVIOUS!
(Dumah and the others walked up)
Dumah: You know, I heard he went to a nudist meeting.
Rahab: (still scarred) (twitch) Um...um...AHHH!!! (Rahab runs off)
Turel: Now why'd you have to go and scare Rahab?
Kain: It's not my fault Rehab can't be all there in the head!
Melchiah: Actually, it is your fault.
Kain: (grabs Melchiah's head and throws it as far as possible) What were you saying?
(then, off in the distance, the Seer sees Melchiah's head and fetches it then returns it to
his body)
Melchiah: Thanks.
Seer: Anything for you. Let's play 'Find the body part!' I get to choose the part of your
body that I get to find.
Melchiah: I think she's talking about my-
Kain: (annoyed) Yes, I know! (then Melchiah and the Seer run off) Y'know Dumah, you
might just be right.
Dumah: Thanks, favorite father!
Kain: (to Dumah) You're welcome favorite son! (sees Raziel frown as best a person with
only an upper jaw could) I'm sorry, I mean-(sees Raziel brighten up) Thank you, best
favorite son Dumah.
Raziel: (to himself) Nobody loves me!
Kain: But who could be the leader of a nudist meeting in Nosgoth! What pathetic
person could do that!?
Then the scene switched to the nudist meeting, and the leader was just about to begin
Sebastion: (speaking through the voice box that he always has so strategically hidden
under his clothes) Your nudist leader is speaking, so listen up!
(all the nudists listened)
Sebastion: We have two new members today! Let's introduce Zephon!
(Zephon came walking in)
Zephon: Hey people! (to himself) This is gonna be a blast! I get to see women naked!
Sebastion: Welcome so. ...? ...!
Zephon: Um, what's wrong?
Sebastion: ...!
Zephon: (sees something fall out of his shirt and picks it up) Here's your voice box.
Sebastion: (turning on his voice box again) Thank you. And lets introduce out next
member...Umah!
Zephon: Uh-oh.
(Umah walks in)
Umah: I feel refreshed and I think this will be a good experience Sebastion. (sees that
Zephon is here too) Aw, damn it!
Zephon: Hey, it's Big Boobs!
Umah: Don't discriminate me!
Zephon: What'd I do!?
Umah: I'll kill you!
Sebastion: Everybody calm down!
Zephon: Well, she started it.
Random Dumahim: You two need to stop flirting!
Zephon and Umah: What!?
Sebastion: Ok, people! We didn't come here to fight. We came here to open up and
experience nature.
Zephon: Fine, I'll cooperate...for nature's sake.
Umah: Fine. I'll cooperate, but I still hate Zephon.
Zephon: I have an observation to make!
Sebastion: Yes?
Zephon: Umah's got a tight butt. (Umah stares at him menacingly) What, that's a
compliment!
Back at the throne room
Kain: Well, I guess we won't do the part with Dejoule today. We'll wait until tomorrow,
but for today, we're going till-(Vorador came running in upset) What now you big
woman?
Vorador: I failed my first gynecologist exam today!
Turel: Man, let's just start filming!
Kain: (to Turel) I say that! (to everyone) Let's just start filming so we don't have to
hear the big woman Vorador cry like a baby!
The scene was Kain's throne room, although it kinda looked like the exit from Vorador's
sanctuary because it had a cardboard cave and a cardboard tree and the filming has
started
(Kain walked forward and was inside the exit with more uber-elastic people. Then Kain
had an idea)
Kain: I wonder if this will work? (when the uber-elastic person stretched out, Kain
grabbed its head, held it, then released. Then he heard a snap) Just like a rubber band,
it snaps in half if you stretch it too hard! That was fun, I hope there are still others!
(so Kain walks away, only to find himself outside, then he had a thought)
Kain: I have a thought. I will become that monster of a pervert like Vorador if I can't
control my curse. Luckily, I have complete self-control! (sees what looks like an arm on
the ground, but Kain, with his self-control, just stood his ground)
Kain: (getting anxious) Yep, self-control. (then Kain dives at it) Self- control is overrated.
(then Kain looked and saw he was on a small cliff-like structure, then got immediately
happy, knowing it means he'll have to turn into a wolf)
Kain: Yay!!! (so Kain turned into a wolf and hopped down and was so happy about
being a wolf up until another wolf bit him in his jugular vein) Ow!!! Damn wolves! (then
Kain slaughtered all of the wolves and continued on, wishing for ouch-free BandAids.
Then Kain saw some big red dome)
Dumah (as Mortanius): Go north till you see some freaky building Kain. Oh, and watch
out for the lava. If you touch it, guess what happens. (Kain rolled his eyes) You'll get
hurt, that's what'll happen!
Kain: (annoyed) Thank you. (Kain then wondered around and found a sign that said:
Uschtenheim) Ah, another unintelligible name. Ushertehem was were Jano Audrey had
feasted. But he's a pansy! I mean, this is a very tiny village! No wonder he always
hunted here, the pretty boy knew he'd get caught if he hunted anywhere else!
(then Kain went up to the north, where some extremely deformed skeleton awaited,
and the skeleton was really just a bunch of bones from an eaten turkey)
Kain: (fake astonishment) This pathetic...thing was warped beyond all, what's the
word? It was warped beyond all condensation. (looks closer and sees a wallet fall out
that said 'Hello, I'm Uri Gellar') To think that this thing was once human! (then
Kain kills it and sucks its black blood. Then he spits the blood out) Eww!!! Nasty! Hey
that was neat-o!
(now Kain went further north and saw a cave, but a large half-torso half- whatever the
hell its supposed to be stood in the way)
Kain: Damn! That thing is big and fat! (then he observes it) Hey, it looks like Jabba the
Hut! (then it spits poison at Kain and it hits Kain) Aw! You SOB, I hate getting
poisoned! Such strange creatures evolved from this Dark Eden's black magic. Sick as it
was, I could not help but to admire its creator's...sick and twisted mind! This thing is
ugly as hell! (so Kain killed it and wandered into the cave, still poisoned)
Dumah (as Blood Fountain): (in big, menacing voice) Welcome, vampire!
Kain: Dumah! I thought Melchiah was gonna do the Blood Fountain!
Dumah: Well, he was but him and the Seer has lost one of his parts. She accidentally
broke Melchiah.
Kain: (sighs in frustration, then drinks the fake blood)
Dumah (as Blood Fountain): Your magic energy recovers more quickly, for our blood
enhances.
Kain: You're supposed to say it with feeling!
Dumah (as Blood Fountain): Now, go the hell away!
(so Kain leaves the cave, fights a few more Jabba-wannabes, then gets to a long gray
demon with teeth which was really just a dachshund painted gray with fake teeth
sticking out)
Kain: (surveying the scene and looking at the doggie demon) If it could be said that a
land descended into madness...then that sounds like something that William
Shakespeare would say, so it makes completely no sense and is totally stupid.
(then Kain brings down his weapon, but couldn't find it in his heart to kill the innocent
little doggie)
Kain: Damn it! (then Kain looked to see Dark Eden expanding) I had a feeling that this
Dark Eden would grow and become bigger unless someone could stop it! Well, don't
look at me, I'm just the anti-hero.
(then Kain walks further with the dog demon following him till he got to the magic shell
of Dark Eden)
Kain: I watched the dome expand and devour energy of life, leaving only a twisted and
frickin' funny parody of life behind. No wonder life is so stupid, it's a parody.
Dog: Arf!
Kain: (looks at the dog, annoyed) Why are you still here?
(then Kain and the dog passed the shell)
Kain: I got through the magic wall completely unharmed. I guess the magic only prayed
on things that were alive and pure.
Rahab (from off-screen): I'M NOT PURE! WAHHH!!! (sobs uncontrollably)
Dumah (from off-screen): Don't be such a weak woman!
Kain: (to Rahab and Dumah) SHUT THE HELL UP! (then back to the script) Or, perhaps
it simply decided that I was twisted enough. (to himself) Oh yeah, I'm good.
Dog: Arf!
Kain: Ok, why the hell did the dog make it through? (to the dog) I'm warning you, if
you stab me in the ass with an axe-helmet like those annoying-as-hell things in Soul
Reaver 2, then your life is over)
(then Kain wondered around killings stuff...and things. And when he wasn't killings
things, he was either walking or playing in the mud and lava with Dog. Then as Kain
got closer, he could see the castle from the distance)
Kain: (dramatically) A tower stood in the distance. From the top (then Kain shifted to a
heroic stance) it spewed energy that shaped and deformed our land. It's up to a hero
like me to stop it.
Dog: Bark!
Kain: (really getting annoyed with Dog) Dammit Dog! It's not as daring or heroic with
you interrupting me all the time! (then Kain raised his sword up to kill Dog...but he
just couldn't) Crap! This must be how you pesks survive in the wild!
(then when Kain got further, he saw more deformed humans and more dachshunds,
and since he was ashamed of himself for not being able to kill something, he just ran
inside the castle)
Kain: (looking around) The surface of the castle bellied its exterior...yeah, I don't
know what that means either. Why'd I even say that, I must've been on crack or
something at the time. But it was larger inside than out, like those old cartoons. Stupid
bunny ALWAYS taking the wrong turn at Albuquerque. But with all the powers the Circle
had, why not just make extra space for this place? (then Kain thought for a moment)
Cause even Vorador could beat them up. The Circle are such wussys.
Dog: Grrr!
Kain: (to Dog) Shut up!
(then Kain left and explored more rooms and eventually got to a room that had a bunch
of chemicals)
Kain: Wow! I'm gonna have fun with this! This is a sorceress' laboratory! There are all
sorts of things here, like pickled bodies (Kain picks up one of the pickle- covered bodies
and eats it) wow! Now that's crunchy! What else is here? (sees a dissected corpse)
Awsome! These things are the best! (then Kain sensed more than one force being
manipulated) I sense more than one force being manipulated. That's strange.
sorceresses...sorceressi...sorceressis, whatever the hell that is. Well, they don't
work together.
Dog: Arf! Bark!
Kain: I swear, if Rehab didn't love animals so much I'd kill you where you stand!
(then Kain went forward, killing things while getting his butt kicked all the time partly
because of his Chaos Armor and then Kain entered a room that had a spell and axes
swinging from the walls)
Kain: (receiving the spell) Aw dude! It's Spirit Death! Man, this is bitchin'est! This spell
is worthy of the Neroticmancer himself! I get to dissect a creature's soul. Just like
Raziel! I mean, just like my ingrate son! I know not to use this spell on myself! (then
Kain looks around the set and decides a target) Rehab, come here!
(Rahab, still scarred, inches toward Kain)
Rahab: (very twitchy) Um...ahhh! I mean...what? AHHH!!!
Kain: I need to test something! (Kain uses Spirit Death on Rahab, hurting him but not
killing him)
Rahab: (pain and twitch) Gyahhhhhh!!! (runs off screaming)
Kain: This is fun as hell!
(so Kain goes around using his new-found spell and having lots of fun until the same
thing that kills all of his fun happens. He runs out of magic)
Kain: Awww, I was really on a role!
(so Kain wonders around the dungeon some more and finds the Flesh Armor)
Kain: (getting the Armor) Oh, cool! With this the armor sucks blood for me! (puts on
the Flesh Armor, which is really just a red jump-suit) This looks like a bloody jump-suit.
Now I can breath in outer space! No wait, that's a space suit.
(then Kain walks forward, teleports a lot, kills a lot, then finds a door leading to Bane,
Dejoule, and Anacrothe. As soon as Kain goes through the door, the filming ends)
____________________________________________________________
Kain: That sure was fun filming! But now I've gotta go get Zephon from the evil
clutches of the nudists, since he's too stupid to protect himself from naked people.
The scene is now the nudist meeting. Everyone's naked except Zephon and
Umah, who's holding a knife
Umah: Zephon, I'm not getting naked in front of you!
Zephon: It'll be fresh!
Sabastion: (holding voice box) Yes, it's good for you!
Umah: Fine, you get naked first Zephon!
Zephon: Not with you holding that knife! I have a clue as to what you might do!
Sebastion: (holding voice box) It's nature, Umah. Nature hates knives!
Umah: (to Sebastion) Shut up, you naked freak!
Then Kain bursts in and sees everyone
Kain: (sees Sevastion naked and covers his eyes) I should've known you were the sick
bastard organizing this!
Sebastion: (with voice box) This is nature's way!
Kain: (disgusted) Well nature's way is sick! I can't believe-(sees a naked woman, then
in a seductive tone) Hey lady!
Zephon: Help me Kain!
Kain: Why aren't you naked Umah!
Random Dumahim (same as earlier): Wow, are we gonna have an orgy!?
Zephon: Help me!
Kain: Umah, you can't hurt a blind person. That's horrible!
Zephon: But I'm not blind!
Kain: (sprays a bunch of mace into Zephon's eyes) Now you are.
Zephon: IT BURNS!!! (then Zephon leaves)
Kain: (to Umah) Can I see you naked? (she glares menacingly at him) That's a no.
(then to Sebastion) Oh, and Sebastion. (Kain walks over, snatches Sebastion's voice
box, then crushes it and leaves)
Sebastion: ...! ...? ...!?
______________________________________________________ Well, the reason this chapter took so long was because of writer's block. It was kind of hard finding some ways to make this place humorous. I promise the next chapter will be better. Don't forget to review!