Disclaimer: Just to let you know, I don't own LoK or its characters
____________________________________________________
The scene is the pillars and everyone is waiting for Dumah and Kain to arrive
so they can start filming
(Zephon is starring at a spoon and thinking hard)
Zephon: Damn it, I can't do it.
Turel: Here, let me try. (then Turel bent the spoon using telekinesis)
Zephon: How come everyone but me can do it!?
Rahab: Don't worry, my son. Eventually, thou shall be blesset.
Melchiah: Blesset?
Raziel: (to Rahab) I hate to say this Rahab, but the way you talk is beginning to get on
my nerves. You sound like a retarded Greekman.
Rahab: (tapping his beard back) A Greek folk?
Raziel: (in a mocking tone) 'a Greek folk'? (back to his normal voice) You're talking the
language called "Total Crap".
Rahab: It's 'cripe'.
Raziel: No, it's 'crap'! You need to learn to speak normal!
Rahab: I spek normal. You folk speakith wrong.
Raziel: "SPEAKITH"? "SPEK"? WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!?
Rahab: You definitely have some of brother Kain in you.
Turel: Ouch, that one's gotta hurt.
Raziel: Immolate! (then realizes he can't Immolate people) Aw, damn it! Now I'm
beginning to sound like him!
Rahab: You needn'th worry, brother Raziel.
Raziel: WHAT THE HELL IS "NEEDN'TH"?
Melchiah: Everyone calm down! (everyone looks at him) I know what's going on! We've
been forced to hang around each other for far too long and everyone's getting edgy
and tense!
Zephon: I'M NOT GETTING TENSE!
Raziel: YES YOU ARE! IMMOLATE! (then realizes he said it again) DAMN IT!
Melchiah: GUYS, CALM DOWN!
Rahab: Yesith. Listenith toth brotherith Melchiahth.
Raziel: ENOUGH WITH THE "-ITH" WORDS!
Rahab: I don't knowith what youith means.
Raziel: (to Turel) Hold me back!
Turel: Why can't we all get along?
Raziel and Zephon: SHUT UP!!!
Zephon: Where's Dumah and Kain anyway?
Raziel: Well, dumbass, I don't know.
Zephon: Don't call me that!
Raziel: WELL DON'T BE THAT!
Zephon: WELL DON'T BE RUDE!
Rahab: EVERYONEITH!
Raziel: (to Rahab) I'LL KILL YOU REHAB!
Melchiah: EVERYONE SHUT UP AND CALM DOWN!
Zephon: Nice weather today, huh?
Turel: But it's raining...
Zephon: Let's change the subject. When is Faustus gonna get here?
Raziel: I HATE THAT STUPID ASS!
Zephon: Okay. Who's gonna play William the Just?
Raziel: Me.
Turel: Me!
Raziel: I'M GONNA PLAY FREAKIN' WILLAIM!
Turel: NO, I'M A BETTER SINGER!
Raziel: I'M A BETTER PERSON!
Zephon: I CAN PLAY A DAMN GOOD GAME OF CHESS!
Raziel: (to Zephon) BUT I'M WILLIAM!
Zephon: WILLIAM PLAYED CHESS AND I'M A DAMN GOOD CHESS PLAYER!
Raziel: WILLIAM DIDN'T PLAY CHESS!
Turel: WHO CARES!
Melchiah: GUYS, CALM DOWN AGAIN!
Rahab: Yes, listen to brother Melchiah and let's wait here for brother Kain.
Raziel: Kain isn't my brother.
Rahab: He is spiritually. (winks one of his eyes at Raziel)
Raziel: (twitching his eyes in anger)
Turel: (to Raziel) Do you wear contacts?
Raziel: (about ready to burst with anger) What?
Turel: Do you wear contacts? I just now noticed that one of your eyes is white and the
other is yellow.
Raziel: My right eye sees the past.
Turel: Really!?
Raziel: No, not really.
Turel: Oh.
Raziel: (just has to scream with anger) YAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Rahab: Let your anger flow like a leaf in a stream.
Raziel: (to Rahab) I WILL EAT THAT BEARD FOR BREAKFAST!
Zephon: I really wish I could bend this spoon.
Raziel: (to Zephon) I'LL SHOVE THAT SPOON SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!
Rahab: It's 'posterior' brother Raziel.
Raziel: (to Rahab) I'LL SHOVE YOUR 'POSTERIOR' SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!
Turel: Isn't that redundant?
(just then, Faustus came in from out of the rain)
Faustus: I'm here. (everyone just stared at him) What?
(I personally think everyone's starring at you because you're dressed like Ru Paul)
Faustus: What's wrong with that? It's stylish!
Raziel: YOU LOOK LIKE A FRICKIN' TRANSVESTITE!
Faustus: What? No I don't, you're just jealous.
Raziel: NO I'M NOT!
Zephon: I'M HUNGRY!
Turel: YOU'RE TENSE!
Raziel: DAMN RIGHT!
Melchiah: DOES EVERYBODY HERE EXCEPT ME AND RAHAB NEED TRANQUILIZERS?!
Faustus: Whoa, what going on?
Rahab: Ev'one's tense.
Raziel: WHAT'S "EV'ONE'S" MEAN!? SPEAK ENGLISH OR I'LL STRANGLE YOU!
Zephon: I HAVE A CONFESSION!
Turel: (to Zephon) YOU NASTY SOB!
Melchiah: QUIET! (Melchiah gave Turel a tranquilizer)
Turel: (calm, smooth voice) I feel much better.
Raziel: GIVE ME ONE! (then Raziel took the tranquilizer and bit into it) CRUNCHY!
Zephon: I WANNA BE WILLIAM!
Raziel: DIE!
Faustus: (to Rahab) How long has this been going on?
Rahab: Ever since thine morning, brother Faustus.
Faustus: Geez. Guess I shouldn't tell him the bad news.
Rahab: The bad news, brother Faustus?
Faustus: HEY, EVERYONE! MOEBIUS HIMSELF IS STOPPING BY TO CHECK THE
PROGRESS!
Zephon: WELL I HAD A WET DRE-(hearing the news)-wha?
Raziel: ALL I WANNA DO IS HAVE SOME FUN, I GOT A FEELING I'M NOT THE ONLY
ONE, ALL I WANNA DO IS HAVE SOME FU-(hearing the news)-what!?
Turel: (very calm) Man, I'm so glad I took the tranquilizers or I'd be so PO'ed right now.
Raziel: WHY'S THAT FLIPPING RETARDED MONKEY'S TURD COMING HERE!? DOESN'T
HE TRUST US!? NOW I THINK I'M BEGINNING TO FOAM AT THE MOUTH! AHHH!!!
Melchiah: (giving Raziel 5 doses of tranquilizer) If this doesn't calm you down then
you're already off the deep end.
Zephon: (sees the tranquilizer) OH, GIMME GIMME GIMME!
Melchiah: (tranquilizes Zephon) There you go.
Zephon: Oh, that feels so good. I gotta tranquilize myself more often.
(then Moebius himself entered)
Moebius: What a depressing little hole of filth.
Raziel: (to Melchiah) Is there any way to reverse this tranquilizer, because I'd like to
berserk on him now.
Moebius: How's everyone? Why the long faces?
Turel: Because we hate you.
Moebius: Oh, why hate an innocent old man like me?
Raziel: You used me!
(Vorador popped in and sniggered)
Vorador: Hahahaha, he 'used' you? That's worse than beheading!
Raziel: I hate Vorador too.
Moebius: I think I'll be leaving now. If the state of this place is anything like what your
movie will look like, then it'll be total crap.
(then Moebius tried to leave, but Kain stood in the doorway, hearing everything)
Kain: Strange words from someone like you.
Moebius: (pathetic voice) But I didn't say a thing.
Kain: Shut up! How's your carbuncle doing, Moebius?
Moebius: (embarrassed) My carbuncle hurts, actually. (then Moebius ran away crying)
Kain: That was fun. Everyone, I present to you, William the Just!
(then Umah walked in with her very own Soul Reaver)
Umah: Hello. (sees Zephon) You! Hi.
Zephon: (whimpering)
Kain: (fake pain) Oh ow, I think I broke my leg. Guess I can't be Kain. I think I'll let
Zephon be my replacement. (realizing that Zephon will probably die against Umah)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Umah: This will be fun!
Zephon: (very scarred) Please don't kill me Umah. Fine, I'll be a most respectable Kain!
Kain: (evil grin) Let's start filming!
The scene is in fact the very place where The Battle of the Last Stand took
place and there were still dead bodies all over
Faustus (as Ottmar): (dressed as Ru Paul) The scourge of Nosgoth is upon us! Today
we shall celebrate our independence, our own free will! Our lives as one for all and all
for one! (then he stands in a patriotic stance, not looking so patriotic dressed as Ru
Paul) Today we shall live! We shall prosper! (the army of the Nemesis marches toward
him) We shall celebrate our freedom! Our will!
Zephon (as Kain): Yeah! (then as himself) Christ, will this boring speech ever end!?
(the armies of the Nemesis are a few feet away)
Fautus (as Ottmar): ...as my witness, our stream of fate has met us on this glorious
battle that we can't lose! (the army of the Nemesis are about 3 feet away) With an
army such as mine, no man can falter! We shall not be torn apart! Not by slavery, but if
anything, then by freedom!
Zephon (as Kain): God, WILL THIS SPEECH NEVER END!?
(the army of the Nemesis are inches from Faustus' face)
Faustus (as Ottmar): ...move ye shall not, for I am plague! I am noble! I am justice!
(then one of the Nemesis army people raises a sword) For I shan't falter in this battle o'
mine! (then the Nemesis soldiers bashes Faustus on the head. Faustus stumbles a little,
then continues) For the dark times have cometh!
(the Soldiers of Hope can't move till the speech is done, so while Faustus is delivering
his stupidly long speech, the Nemesis army are killing everyone)
Zephon (as Kain): (to Faustus) GET ON WITH THE DAMN SPEECH! (then as Zephon)
I've lost my patience! (Zephon snatches the speech from Faustus) Blah blah blah blah,
let's kill all the vile bastards! Hoorah!
(then everyone got to battling everyone else, though half of the Soldiers of Hope were
dead because of the stupidly long speech, and Zephon didn't help out much. Zephon,
being 'not-the-smartest-vamp-in-the-world' didn't know which side was which and
ended up killing about 59 Soldiers of Hope till he realized he was killing the wrong
people)
Zephon (as Kain): (seeing a dead person) Feeding time! (as Zephon extremely sloppily
drunk the blood, everyone figured our Zephon was the sloppiest vamp ever. He drank
the blood from a human like a dog drinks out of a water bowl, only Zephon was much
sloppier) Yummy! Thanks for dying!
(so Zephon killed everyone he saw and happily drank their blood up until he killed
someone he shouldn't have and didn't noticed it till he drunked drinking the person's
blood)
Zephon: Uh-oh.
Kain (from off-screen): You retard Zephon, you weren't supposed to be the one to kill
him!
Zephon: Oh well. (Zephon started to drink the blood of Ottmar till Ottmar stopped him)
Faustus (as Ottmar): The Nemesis and his horde has fallen upon us, my friend. I can't
defend Nosgoth any more. The Nemesis must be killed or else. Do it for my daughter.
Zephon (as Kain): Oh her...anything else you want me to do for her, if you know
what I mean? (then Ottmar lost all of his blood)
Faustus (as Ottmar): (very weakly) Now the light she fades
And darkness settles in
We shall all find hope
We all shall find pride within
Though all though I die our freedom shall be won
Though I die, the Soldiers of Hope shall live on.
Zephon: (crying) That was beautiful.
Faustus: You think so?
Zephon: Yeah. It was awesome.
Faustus: Why thank you.
Zephon: That's brung tears to my eyes. (then the tears burn) OW!
Faustus: Thanks. I'm thinking of singing that on Broadway.
Zephon: Good idea.
Kain (off-screen): (very angry) GET THE FU*@ ON WITH IT!
Turel (off-screen): Calm down Kain, it makes things more Shakespeare like. You know,
with the characters that take hours to die?
Faustus (as Ottmar): (now improvising) Here's my will. (pulls out a ten page report,
while everyone all around him's dying)
Zephon: (looks at the will) Everything here is for your sexy daughter. Why didn't you
just say "I leave everything to my daughter"?
Faustus (as Ottmar): (still improvising) Because it's more poetic this way. The last four
pages are legal contract stuff. Make sure she gets this will. (then he dies)
Zephon: (tears up the will)
(everyone sees Ottmar dead and all of the Soldiers of Hope flee, leaving just Zephon to
take on 100,000 troops)
Zephon (as Kain): (extremely scared) Oh crap.
(all 100,000 Nemesis soldiers are charging straight at the helpless Zephon, and when all
100,000 soldiers get within an inch of him and are about to cut him up, the Time
Streaming Device kicked in and he was in the past)
Zephon (as Kain): (in a macho voice) Aw, I could've taken all 100,000 men without a
scratch! (then a men-in-arms came up to Zephon and hit him, causing a scratch) (as
Zephon) Well, my pride sure needs mouth-to-mouth.
(Zephon then kills the person, then notices something)
Zephon (as Kain): Hey, the battlefield's gone. Hoorah! This ground was once full of
dead people and blood and carnage, but now it's lush greenery. I miss the present.
Where the adrenaline pump of chaos was, there's only this lame silence now. And now
I'm stranded here because I just accidentally stepped on the Time Streaming Device
and broke it.
(Zephon looks at the dead person and decides to read his mind. Here is what he sees:)
The scene is a stairway, and Moebius up on it and people down below it.
There were guards to both sides of Moebius
Moebius: Would you stand idle as vermin destroyed your crop?
Crowd: Yes!
Moebius: (sighs) Why?
Dean Earwicker (a random person from the crowd): Because I like bugs!
Moebius: (sighs heavily) Fine. What about as your house burned?
Half the crowd: No!
Other half of crowd: Yes!
Moebius: WHY!?
Dean Earwicker: I like toasting marshmallows.
Moebius: Will you allow this evil to continue? And if Dean Earwicker says anything, he's
dead!
Crowd (minus Earwicker): No!
Moebius: Will the wickedness end?
Crowd: Yes! Yes!
Moebius: Do you believe?
Crowd: No!
Moebius: (muttering) Pain in my carbuncle. (Moebius uses his staff to kill the guard to
his left and right) Now do you believe?
Crowd: No!
Moebius: (sghs) (then he uses his staff to kill a random crowd person) Do you believe
now?
Crowd: (seeing dead person) We've changed our minds and yes!
Dean Earwicker: Very small rocks!
Moebius: (extremely agitated) What!?
Dean Earwicker: I was just thinking about how to tell if a person's a vampire! Very
small rocks float in water!
Moebius: It's ducks you retard!
Dean Earwicker: So if a vamp weighs the same as a duck, he's made of very small
rocks!
Moebius: HE' MADE OF WOOD, IDIOT! (then Moebius looses his patience and kills Dean
Earwicker) (to the crowd) Then take me to your king, so I can prepare you for the
onslaught!
(then Moebius leaves through a door and so does the crowd. And hidden in a very dark
corner is a tied up Raziel)
Raziel: (the ropes also over Raziel's mouth) Mmm, mmmm, mm! (then Raziel gets the
idea to shift to the Spectral Realm and he wasn't tied up anymore) (sigh) My only actual
role in this whole stupid movie AND THAT CONSTIPATED DONKEY BUTT STEALS THE
ROLE! AHH!!! (shoots himself with a tranquilizer) Now I can shift back to Material
Realm. At least I won't be tied up anymore! (the Planar Portal is right were Raz was
when he shifted, so he shifted back to the Material Realm and was in the exact same
spot-in other words, still tied up) (very heavy sigh)
(then Zephon stops looking into the guys mind and sees that the same door that
Moebius went through has now opened up)
Zephon (as Kain): Good, this place is boring. (and Zephon walked in, walking right past
the still tied up Raziel, oh and Raziel was not supposed to be tied up-that wasn't in the
script)
Raziel: (sigh) ...
(Zephon walked forward and got to Stahlberg, but everyone one was alive and it was
snowing! Zephon looked on in amazement)
Zephon (as Kain): (with Turel playing back-up music) (Zephon looks around and sees
lot of colors and people) What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere
What's this?
There are white things in the air
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up, Kain, this isn't fair
What's this?
(sees some peasants throwing snowballs at each other) There are peasants throwing snowballs here
Instead of Melchiah's head
They're busy building houses
Why the hell aren't these people dead?
WHAT IS THIS!? (then Turel stops playing the music and Zephon has now stopped
singing)
(Zephon starts wondering around and finds a peasent)
Zephon (as Kain): (talking to a very cheerful peasant) What are you cheerful about?
Cheerful Peasant: Our glorious King William the Just! His kindness is so extraordinary,
that nothing could bring down my good mood!
(then Zephon kills him and leaves for William's castle. Zephon gets outside of the castle
and sees an unfinished statue of Umah with a Soul Reaver)
Zephon (as Kain): (looking at the castle and afraid to fight Umah) The stronghold of
William the Just. Time to pay a visit to the Nemesis, who would bring Nosgoth to its
knees and send an army after me...I still say I could've taken them all on!
(then Zephon entered the Stronghold, trying to find Umah, who was 'William the Just',
but instead all he found was the soldiers of the Nemesis. Zephon went around killing
anything that moved, like always, then he saw a mirror. The reflection of his hand
moved, so he hit his hand. Then he was in pain. After feeling totally stupid, he
wondered around the castle and found a room with sand on the bottom)
Zephon (as Kain): Sand won't stop me! (then he put his foot in the sand and it burned)
IT BURNS! Stupid hot sand! Just like the beach!
(then Zephon turned to mist form and walked on the sand. Halfway through, he found
some people chained up)
Zephon: Food! (then Zephon tried to drink their blood, but since he was in mist form,
the blood went right through him) No!!! This is cruel! (Zephon wasn't gonna un-mist
cause the sand would kill him. So Zephon had to just move on, taunted by the many
chained up people. Zephon eventually got to another part of the castle and went
through a door. On the floor below him was Umah and Moebius)
Umah (as William the Just): (in a proud, noble voice in a heroic stance) These weapons
you have given mine own will provided that. By the way, Moebius, what the hell are you
kissing up to me for?
Moebius: None, me lord. I only wish to aid you in killing those smelly little bastards. I
call them that cause they don't have fathers, so I'm using that word in its poetic sense,
not the cursing sense. The weapons are a token of my good will.
Umah (as William): Why would a person of good will have weapons? And the news you
bring? About a vampire sent to slay me? Where did you come upon such knowledge?
(then she assumes a more threatening pose, sticking her chest out and showing her
muscles)
Zephon: Christ, now I can't even see her head, they're so big! (then he sees that she
heard him) (very scared) I probably shouldn't have said that...
Moebius: I was just cruisin' along town one day when I accidentally on purpose hit
someone and they told me a vampire would try and kill you. And now I'm only
concerned about your life.
Umah (as William): Perhaps...perhaps...perhaps...oh what the hell, I may as
well believe you, what've I got to lose? Now, get your old retarded self away from me.
But should I wish to contact you...
Moebius: Don't worry, I'll know...
Umah (as William): Don't trip...(then as Moebius turned around, she tripped him.
And still nobody noyiced that this wasn't Raziel in disguise, and Moebius fell)
Moebius: OW!!!!!!! YOU MADE ME LAND STRAIGHT ON MY CARBUNCLE!!!!! IT HURTS!!
(then Zephon left to explore the rest of the castle. He knew where he was going
because arrows were painted on the wall saying 'To King William' in the direction of
where King William was. It was then that Zephon started to think that this was a trap.
Zephon finally got to the hallway leading to William, but axes were swinging out of the
walls)
Zephon: (irritated sigh) This is so unrealistic. Why would William have axes swinging
out of walls. No one's that damn agile to be able to make it past these axes all the
time! William would've been dead by now!
Kain: (off-screen) But that's what really happened!
Zephon: (not believing him) Yeah, right, sure.
Kain: (off-screen) But it did!
(Zephon then thought of a rather clever way to avoid the swinging axes. He crawled
onto the ceiling to avoid them. He then dropped to the ground and braced himself as
he opened the door to fight Umah, Reaver to Reaver. Zephon entered the room. Umah
was there waiting for him)
Umah (as William): (with a truly vicious grin) Ahh, yes. The vampire. Moebius told me
you would come!
(then Umah swung her Reaver at Zephon's head, but Zephon blocked it. Then she tried
a 10-hit combo, but Zephon struggled but blocked each shot. Zephon swung at her
waist, Umah blocked, and knocked Zephon upside the head. Zephon retaliated by going
for her head, but her chest got in the way, and he hit her chest instead)
Zephon: (seeing what he did) (terrified) I'm so gonna die!
Umah: DIE!!!
(Umah swung low, Zephon blocked, went for her legs, she blocked and hit his arm. He
stumbled and hid behind a chair. She swung the Reaver at his head, but he used the
chair as a shield. The Reaver got stuck in the chair, Zephon twisted and threw the
chair, and Umah's Reaver with it. Just then Umah pointed out that Zephon's shoes were
untied and when Zephon looked down, he discovered she was lying. She now had
Zephon's Reaver and Zephon was helpless)
Umah: DIE!!! (she swung the Reaver onto Zephon's head and the Reaver broke) Wha?
Zephon: HAHA! I'M SO GLAD I HAVE A HARD HEAD! MY HEAD'S SO HARD IT BROKE
YOUR REAVER, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! (then Zephon got her Reaver and defeated
the still in shock Umah)
(with Umah defeated, several troops rushed at him, but he killed them all and found a
Time Streaming Device)
Zephon (as Kain): (holding the Time Streaming Device) Well, I'll be damned. What're
the odds of that? (then Zephon used it and the stage crew, which consisted of Rahab,
pulled the past background from behind Zephon and put the present background in its
place. Then the filming stopped)
________________________________________________________
The setting is still the Pillars
Kain: (to Zephon) Well, I thought you would've died Zephon.
Zephon: Yeah, that's my loving daddy. Why'd you sick Umah on me!?
Kain: Oh, that was fun, wasn't it?
Zephon: Listen Kain, you've gotta get us away from each other or we'll kill each other!
Kain: Ah, the old 'hang around with you too long and I'll kill you' thing.
Zephon: Exactly.
Kain: Good. Cause y'all are all in quarantine.
(that got everyone's attention)
Turel: WHAT!? QUARANTINE! WHY!?
Rahab: It canith be pardoned.
Kain: Hey, where's the ingrate?
(then Moebius comes back, dragging a tied up Raziel)
Moebius: Ahahahahahahaha!
Vorador: (who has been since the beginning, watching) Moebius, you stupid old haggy
wart, what're you doing here!?
Moebius: Taking your dear Razzyboy hostage! HAHAHAHA!
Raziel: (very muffled cause of rope) Don't call me Razzyboy!
Moebius: So, if you want to see him not dead, I'd suggest you give into my demands!
Kain: How can an old he-dike like you ever kill Raziel?
Moebius: My staff can make things explode! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Turel: You, Moebius, are such a...you're an...stupid little...I can't think of the
words to express my hatred!
Moebius: My demands are: 1 toy truck, 5 green crayons, 12 pieces of paper cut-free
paper, 2 pairs of scissors, 1 coloring book, 1 cup of tea, and 9 lumps of sugar. AHAHA!!
Rahab: Whatith the Satin's Place do youth want withth that?
Kain: That's a lot to give away! Well, I'm not paying.
Moebius: Then Raziel will die!
Kain: Hey, I get to keep my stuff and Razzyboy dies, that's a win-win.
Raziel: (muffled) Don't call me RAZZYBOY!
Zephon: But we can't just let him kill Raziel!
(then Dumah rushes in)
Kain: (sees Duamh) My favorite son Dumah, where've you been!?
Dumah: Ever since the other day, I've been trying to figure out who I am!
Moebius: Hey everyone, pay attention to me again!
Kain: And what did you find out?
Dumah: I found out that I'm an executioner for the world!
Kain: Bravo!
Moebius: (to Kain) Kain, you and your sons will die here!
(then Dumah bravely rushed up, threw Raziel out of the way, punched Moebius in the
gut, then threw Moebius away)
Rahab: Brother Dumah saved us!
Kain: Go Dumah!
Turel: Dumah's a hero!
Raziel: (muffled) Help, I'm still tied up.
Kain: Dumah, now that you and Janos are here...where's Janos? (Janos comes in)
Janos: (to Kain) You said you'd give me tacos if a came. Well, I'm here, but I don't see
tacos.
Kain: Now that everyone's here, I want you all to know you're now in quarantine!
Dumah: Why!!!!!!!?
Kain: Because the horoscope for today said "Anyone not of your star sign will give you
a deadly disease unless they're in quarantine."
Vorador: But I'm the same star sign as you Kain!
Kain: Well, you're in here because I hate you! Good-bye. (then Kain leaves and locks
them all in there)
Rahab: Well, son of a bitchith.
Zephon: I know how we can occupy out time.
Janos: How?
Zephon: Oh, 100 bottles of blood on the wall, 100 bottles of blood! Take 1 down, pass
it around, 99 bottles of blood on the wall!
(then, as everyone except Raziel beat the crap out of Zephon, Raziel could'nt help but
be annoyed)
Raziel: (muffled) Will someone please untie me?
______________________________________________________________________
Well, I hope you all liked this chapter and don't forget to review!
____________________________________________________
The scene is the pillars and everyone is waiting for Dumah and Kain to arrive
so they can start filming
(Zephon is starring at a spoon and thinking hard)
Zephon: Damn it, I can't do it.
Turel: Here, let me try. (then Turel bent the spoon using telekinesis)
Zephon: How come everyone but me can do it!?
Rahab: Don't worry, my son. Eventually, thou shall be blesset.
Melchiah: Blesset?
Raziel: (to Rahab) I hate to say this Rahab, but the way you talk is beginning to get on
my nerves. You sound like a retarded Greekman.
Rahab: (tapping his beard back) A Greek folk?
Raziel: (in a mocking tone) 'a Greek folk'? (back to his normal voice) You're talking the
language called "Total Crap".
Rahab: It's 'cripe'.
Raziel: No, it's 'crap'! You need to learn to speak normal!
Rahab: I spek normal. You folk speakith wrong.
Raziel: "SPEAKITH"? "SPEK"? WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!?
Rahab: You definitely have some of brother Kain in you.
Turel: Ouch, that one's gotta hurt.
Raziel: Immolate! (then realizes he can't Immolate people) Aw, damn it! Now I'm
beginning to sound like him!
Rahab: You needn'th worry, brother Raziel.
Raziel: WHAT THE HELL IS "NEEDN'TH"?
Melchiah: Everyone calm down! (everyone looks at him) I know what's going on! We've
been forced to hang around each other for far too long and everyone's getting edgy
and tense!
Zephon: I'M NOT GETTING TENSE!
Raziel: YES YOU ARE! IMMOLATE! (then realizes he said it again) DAMN IT!
Melchiah: GUYS, CALM DOWN!
Rahab: Yesith. Listenith toth brotherith Melchiahth.
Raziel: ENOUGH WITH THE "-ITH" WORDS!
Rahab: I don't knowith what youith means.
Raziel: (to Turel) Hold me back!
Turel: Why can't we all get along?
Raziel and Zephon: SHUT UP!!!
Zephon: Where's Dumah and Kain anyway?
Raziel: Well, dumbass, I don't know.
Zephon: Don't call me that!
Raziel: WELL DON'T BE THAT!
Zephon: WELL DON'T BE RUDE!
Rahab: EVERYONEITH!
Raziel: (to Rahab) I'LL KILL YOU REHAB!
Melchiah: EVERYONE SHUT UP AND CALM DOWN!
Zephon: Nice weather today, huh?
Turel: But it's raining...
Zephon: Let's change the subject. When is Faustus gonna get here?
Raziel: I HATE THAT STUPID ASS!
Zephon: Okay. Who's gonna play William the Just?
Raziel: Me.
Turel: Me!
Raziel: I'M GONNA PLAY FREAKIN' WILLAIM!
Turel: NO, I'M A BETTER SINGER!
Raziel: I'M A BETTER PERSON!
Zephon: I CAN PLAY A DAMN GOOD GAME OF CHESS!
Raziel: (to Zephon) BUT I'M WILLIAM!
Zephon: WILLIAM PLAYED CHESS AND I'M A DAMN GOOD CHESS PLAYER!
Raziel: WILLIAM DIDN'T PLAY CHESS!
Turel: WHO CARES!
Melchiah: GUYS, CALM DOWN AGAIN!
Rahab: Yes, listen to brother Melchiah and let's wait here for brother Kain.
Raziel: Kain isn't my brother.
Rahab: He is spiritually. (winks one of his eyes at Raziel)
Raziel: (twitching his eyes in anger)
Turel: (to Raziel) Do you wear contacts?
Raziel: (about ready to burst with anger) What?
Turel: Do you wear contacts? I just now noticed that one of your eyes is white and the
other is yellow.
Raziel: My right eye sees the past.
Turel: Really!?
Raziel: No, not really.
Turel: Oh.
Raziel: (just has to scream with anger) YAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Rahab: Let your anger flow like a leaf in a stream.
Raziel: (to Rahab) I WILL EAT THAT BEARD FOR BREAKFAST!
Zephon: I really wish I could bend this spoon.
Raziel: (to Zephon) I'LL SHOVE THAT SPOON SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!
Rahab: It's 'posterior' brother Raziel.
Raziel: (to Rahab) I'LL SHOVE YOUR 'POSTERIOR' SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!
Turel: Isn't that redundant?
(just then, Faustus came in from out of the rain)
Faustus: I'm here. (everyone just stared at him) What?
(I personally think everyone's starring at you because you're dressed like Ru Paul)
Faustus: What's wrong with that? It's stylish!
Raziel: YOU LOOK LIKE A FRICKIN' TRANSVESTITE!
Faustus: What? No I don't, you're just jealous.
Raziel: NO I'M NOT!
Zephon: I'M HUNGRY!
Turel: YOU'RE TENSE!
Raziel: DAMN RIGHT!
Melchiah: DOES EVERYBODY HERE EXCEPT ME AND RAHAB NEED TRANQUILIZERS?!
Faustus: Whoa, what going on?
Rahab: Ev'one's tense.
Raziel: WHAT'S "EV'ONE'S" MEAN!? SPEAK ENGLISH OR I'LL STRANGLE YOU!
Zephon: I HAVE A CONFESSION!
Turel: (to Zephon) YOU NASTY SOB!
Melchiah: QUIET! (Melchiah gave Turel a tranquilizer)
Turel: (calm, smooth voice) I feel much better.
Raziel: GIVE ME ONE! (then Raziel took the tranquilizer and bit into it) CRUNCHY!
Zephon: I WANNA BE WILLIAM!
Raziel: DIE!
Faustus: (to Rahab) How long has this been going on?
Rahab: Ever since thine morning, brother Faustus.
Faustus: Geez. Guess I shouldn't tell him the bad news.
Rahab: The bad news, brother Faustus?
Faustus: HEY, EVERYONE! MOEBIUS HIMSELF IS STOPPING BY TO CHECK THE
PROGRESS!
Zephon: WELL I HAD A WET DRE-(hearing the news)-wha?
Raziel: ALL I WANNA DO IS HAVE SOME FUN, I GOT A FEELING I'M NOT THE ONLY
ONE, ALL I WANNA DO IS HAVE SOME FU-(hearing the news)-what!?
Turel: (very calm) Man, I'm so glad I took the tranquilizers or I'd be so PO'ed right now.
Raziel: WHY'S THAT FLIPPING RETARDED MONKEY'S TURD COMING HERE!? DOESN'T
HE TRUST US!? NOW I THINK I'M BEGINNING TO FOAM AT THE MOUTH! AHHH!!!
Melchiah: (giving Raziel 5 doses of tranquilizer) If this doesn't calm you down then
you're already off the deep end.
Zephon: (sees the tranquilizer) OH, GIMME GIMME GIMME!
Melchiah: (tranquilizes Zephon) There you go.
Zephon: Oh, that feels so good. I gotta tranquilize myself more often.
(then Moebius himself entered)
Moebius: What a depressing little hole of filth.
Raziel: (to Melchiah) Is there any way to reverse this tranquilizer, because I'd like to
berserk on him now.
Moebius: How's everyone? Why the long faces?
Turel: Because we hate you.
Moebius: Oh, why hate an innocent old man like me?
Raziel: You used me!
(Vorador popped in and sniggered)
Vorador: Hahahaha, he 'used' you? That's worse than beheading!
Raziel: I hate Vorador too.
Moebius: I think I'll be leaving now. If the state of this place is anything like what your
movie will look like, then it'll be total crap.
(then Moebius tried to leave, but Kain stood in the doorway, hearing everything)
Kain: Strange words from someone like you.
Moebius: (pathetic voice) But I didn't say a thing.
Kain: Shut up! How's your carbuncle doing, Moebius?
Moebius: (embarrassed) My carbuncle hurts, actually. (then Moebius ran away crying)
Kain: That was fun. Everyone, I present to you, William the Just!
(then Umah walked in with her very own Soul Reaver)
Umah: Hello. (sees Zephon) You! Hi.
Zephon: (whimpering)
Kain: (fake pain) Oh ow, I think I broke my leg. Guess I can't be Kain. I think I'll let
Zephon be my replacement. (realizing that Zephon will probably die against Umah)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Umah: This will be fun!
Zephon: (very scarred) Please don't kill me Umah. Fine, I'll be a most respectable Kain!
Kain: (evil grin) Let's start filming!
The scene is in fact the very place where The Battle of the Last Stand took
place and there were still dead bodies all over
Faustus (as Ottmar): (dressed as Ru Paul) The scourge of Nosgoth is upon us! Today
we shall celebrate our independence, our own free will! Our lives as one for all and all
for one! (then he stands in a patriotic stance, not looking so patriotic dressed as Ru
Paul) Today we shall live! We shall prosper! (the army of the Nemesis marches toward
him) We shall celebrate our freedom! Our will!
Zephon (as Kain): Yeah! (then as himself) Christ, will this boring speech ever end!?
(the armies of the Nemesis are a few feet away)
Fautus (as Ottmar): ...as my witness, our stream of fate has met us on this glorious
battle that we can't lose! (the army of the Nemesis are about 3 feet away) With an
army such as mine, no man can falter! We shall not be torn apart! Not by slavery, but if
anything, then by freedom!
Zephon (as Kain): God, WILL THIS SPEECH NEVER END!?
(the army of the Nemesis are inches from Faustus' face)
Faustus (as Ottmar): ...move ye shall not, for I am plague! I am noble! I am justice!
(then one of the Nemesis army people raises a sword) For I shan't falter in this battle o'
mine! (then the Nemesis soldiers bashes Faustus on the head. Faustus stumbles a little,
then continues) For the dark times have cometh!
(the Soldiers of Hope can't move till the speech is done, so while Faustus is delivering
his stupidly long speech, the Nemesis army are killing everyone)
Zephon (as Kain): (to Faustus) GET ON WITH THE DAMN SPEECH! (then as Zephon)
I've lost my patience! (Zephon snatches the speech from Faustus) Blah blah blah blah,
let's kill all the vile bastards! Hoorah!
(then everyone got to battling everyone else, though half of the Soldiers of Hope were
dead because of the stupidly long speech, and Zephon didn't help out much. Zephon,
being 'not-the-smartest-vamp-in-the-world' didn't know which side was which and
ended up killing about 59 Soldiers of Hope till he realized he was killing the wrong
people)
Zephon (as Kain): (seeing a dead person) Feeding time! (as Zephon extremely sloppily
drunk the blood, everyone figured our Zephon was the sloppiest vamp ever. He drank
the blood from a human like a dog drinks out of a water bowl, only Zephon was much
sloppier) Yummy! Thanks for dying!
(so Zephon killed everyone he saw and happily drank their blood up until he killed
someone he shouldn't have and didn't noticed it till he drunked drinking the person's
blood)
Zephon: Uh-oh.
Kain (from off-screen): You retard Zephon, you weren't supposed to be the one to kill
him!
Zephon: Oh well. (Zephon started to drink the blood of Ottmar till Ottmar stopped him)
Faustus (as Ottmar): The Nemesis and his horde has fallen upon us, my friend. I can't
defend Nosgoth any more. The Nemesis must be killed or else. Do it for my daughter.
Zephon (as Kain): Oh her...anything else you want me to do for her, if you know
what I mean? (then Ottmar lost all of his blood)
Faustus (as Ottmar): (very weakly) Now the light she fades
And darkness settles in
We shall all find hope
We all shall find pride within
Though all though I die our freedom shall be won
Though I die, the Soldiers of Hope shall live on.
Zephon: (crying) That was beautiful.
Faustus: You think so?
Zephon: Yeah. It was awesome.
Faustus: Why thank you.
Zephon: That's brung tears to my eyes. (then the tears burn) OW!
Faustus: Thanks. I'm thinking of singing that on Broadway.
Zephon: Good idea.
Kain (off-screen): (very angry) GET THE FU*@ ON WITH IT!
Turel (off-screen): Calm down Kain, it makes things more Shakespeare like. You know,
with the characters that take hours to die?
Faustus (as Ottmar): (now improvising) Here's my will. (pulls out a ten page report,
while everyone all around him's dying)
Zephon: (looks at the will) Everything here is for your sexy daughter. Why didn't you
just say "I leave everything to my daughter"?
Faustus (as Ottmar): (still improvising) Because it's more poetic this way. The last four
pages are legal contract stuff. Make sure she gets this will. (then he dies)
Zephon: (tears up the will)
(everyone sees Ottmar dead and all of the Soldiers of Hope flee, leaving just Zephon to
take on 100,000 troops)
Zephon (as Kain): (extremely scared) Oh crap.
(all 100,000 Nemesis soldiers are charging straight at the helpless Zephon, and when all
100,000 soldiers get within an inch of him and are about to cut him up, the Time
Streaming Device kicked in and he was in the past)
Zephon (as Kain): (in a macho voice) Aw, I could've taken all 100,000 men without a
scratch! (then a men-in-arms came up to Zephon and hit him, causing a scratch) (as
Zephon) Well, my pride sure needs mouth-to-mouth.
(Zephon then kills the person, then notices something)
Zephon (as Kain): Hey, the battlefield's gone. Hoorah! This ground was once full of
dead people and blood and carnage, but now it's lush greenery. I miss the present.
Where the adrenaline pump of chaos was, there's only this lame silence now. And now
I'm stranded here because I just accidentally stepped on the Time Streaming Device
and broke it.
(Zephon looks at the dead person and decides to read his mind. Here is what he sees:)
The scene is a stairway, and Moebius up on it and people down below it.
There were guards to both sides of Moebius
Moebius: Would you stand idle as vermin destroyed your crop?
Crowd: Yes!
Moebius: (sighs) Why?
Dean Earwicker (a random person from the crowd): Because I like bugs!
Moebius: (sighs heavily) Fine. What about as your house burned?
Half the crowd: No!
Other half of crowd: Yes!
Moebius: WHY!?
Dean Earwicker: I like toasting marshmallows.
Moebius: Will you allow this evil to continue? And if Dean Earwicker says anything, he's
dead!
Crowd (minus Earwicker): No!
Moebius: Will the wickedness end?
Crowd: Yes! Yes!
Moebius: Do you believe?
Crowd: No!
Moebius: (muttering) Pain in my carbuncle. (Moebius uses his staff to kill the guard to
his left and right) Now do you believe?
Crowd: No!
Moebius: (sghs) (then he uses his staff to kill a random crowd person) Do you believe
now?
Crowd: (seeing dead person) We've changed our minds and yes!
Dean Earwicker: Very small rocks!
Moebius: (extremely agitated) What!?
Dean Earwicker: I was just thinking about how to tell if a person's a vampire! Very
small rocks float in water!
Moebius: It's ducks you retard!
Dean Earwicker: So if a vamp weighs the same as a duck, he's made of very small
rocks!
Moebius: HE' MADE OF WOOD, IDIOT! (then Moebius looses his patience and kills Dean
Earwicker) (to the crowd) Then take me to your king, so I can prepare you for the
onslaught!
(then Moebius leaves through a door and so does the crowd. And hidden in a very dark
corner is a tied up Raziel)
Raziel: (the ropes also over Raziel's mouth) Mmm, mmmm, mm! (then Raziel gets the
idea to shift to the Spectral Realm and he wasn't tied up anymore) (sigh) My only actual
role in this whole stupid movie AND THAT CONSTIPATED DONKEY BUTT STEALS THE
ROLE! AHH!!! (shoots himself with a tranquilizer) Now I can shift back to Material
Realm. At least I won't be tied up anymore! (the Planar Portal is right were Raz was
when he shifted, so he shifted back to the Material Realm and was in the exact same
spot-in other words, still tied up) (very heavy sigh)
(then Zephon stops looking into the guys mind and sees that the same door that
Moebius went through has now opened up)
Zephon (as Kain): Good, this place is boring. (and Zephon walked in, walking right past
the still tied up Raziel, oh and Raziel was not supposed to be tied up-that wasn't in the
script)
Raziel: (sigh) ...
(Zephon walked forward and got to Stahlberg, but everyone one was alive and it was
snowing! Zephon looked on in amazement)
Zephon (as Kain): (with Turel playing back-up music) (Zephon looks around and sees
lot of colors and people) What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere
What's this?
There are white things in the air
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up, Kain, this isn't fair
What's this?
(sees some peasants throwing snowballs at each other) There are peasants throwing snowballs here
Instead of Melchiah's head
They're busy building houses
Why the hell aren't these people dead?
WHAT IS THIS!? (then Turel stops playing the music and Zephon has now stopped
singing)
(Zephon starts wondering around and finds a peasent)
Zephon (as Kain): (talking to a very cheerful peasant) What are you cheerful about?
Cheerful Peasant: Our glorious King William the Just! His kindness is so extraordinary,
that nothing could bring down my good mood!
(then Zephon kills him and leaves for William's castle. Zephon gets outside of the castle
and sees an unfinished statue of Umah with a Soul Reaver)
Zephon (as Kain): (looking at the castle and afraid to fight Umah) The stronghold of
William the Just. Time to pay a visit to the Nemesis, who would bring Nosgoth to its
knees and send an army after me...I still say I could've taken them all on!
(then Zephon entered the Stronghold, trying to find Umah, who was 'William the Just',
but instead all he found was the soldiers of the Nemesis. Zephon went around killing
anything that moved, like always, then he saw a mirror. The reflection of his hand
moved, so he hit his hand. Then he was in pain. After feeling totally stupid, he
wondered around the castle and found a room with sand on the bottom)
Zephon (as Kain): Sand won't stop me! (then he put his foot in the sand and it burned)
IT BURNS! Stupid hot sand! Just like the beach!
(then Zephon turned to mist form and walked on the sand. Halfway through, he found
some people chained up)
Zephon: Food! (then Zephon tried to drink their blood, but since he was in mist form,
the blood went right through him) No!!! This is cruel! (Zephon wasn't gonna un-mist
cause the sand would kill him. So Zephon had to just move on, taunted by the many
chained up people. Zephon eventually got to another part of the castle and went
through a door. On the floor below him was Umah and Moebius)
Umah (as William the Just): (in a proud, noble voice in a heroic stance) These weapons
you have given mine own will provided that. By the way, Moebius, what the hell are you
kissing up to me for?
Moebius: None, me lord. I only wish to aid you in killing those smelly little bastards. I
call them that cause they don't have fathers, so I'm using that word in its poetic sense,
not the cursing sense. The weapons are a token of my good will.
Umah (as William): Why would a person of good will have weapons? And the news you
bring? About a vampire sent to slay me? Where did you come upon such knowledge?
(then she assumes a more threatening pose, sticking her chest out and showing her
muscles)
Zephon: Christ, now I can't even see her head, they're so big! (then he sees that she
heard him) (very scared) I probably shouldn't have said that...
Moebius: I was just cruisin' along town one day when I accidentally on purpose hit
someone and they told me a vampire would try and kill you. And now I'm only
concerned about your life.
Umah (as William): Perhaps...perhaps...perhaps...oh what the hell, I may as
well believe you, what've I got to lose? Now, get your old retarded self away from me.
But should I wish to contact you...
Moebius: Don't worry, I'll know...
Umah (as William): Don't trip...(then as Moebius turned around, she tripped him.
And still nobody noyiced that this wasn't Raziel in disguise, and Moebius fell)
Moebius: OW!!!!!!! YOU MADE ME LAND STRAIGHT ON MY CARBUNCLE!!!!! IT HURTS!!
(then Zephon left to explore the rest of the castle. He knew where he was going
because arrows were painted on the wall saying 'To King William' in the direction of
where King William was. It was then that Zephon started to think that this was a trap.
Zephon finally got to the hallway leading to William, but axes were swinging out of the
walls)
Zephon: (irritated sigh) This is so unrealistic. Why would William have axes swinging
out of walls. No one's that damn agile to be able to make it past these axes all the
time! William would've been dead by now!
Kain: (off-screen) But that's what really happened!
Zephon: (not believing him) Yeah, right, sure.
Kain: (off-screen) But it did!
(Zephon then thought of a rather clever way to avoid the swinging axes. He crawled
onto the ceiling to avoid them. He then dropped to the ground and braced himself as
he opened the door to fight Umah, Reaver to Reaver. Zephon entered the room. Umah
was there waiting for him)
Umah (as William): (with a truly vicious grin) Ahh, yes. The vampire. Moebius told me
you would come!
(then Umah swung her Reaver at Zephon's head, but Zephon blocked it. Then she tried
a 10-hit combo, but Zephon struggled but blocked each shot. Zephon swung at her
waist, Umah blocked, and knocked Zephon upside the head. Zephon retaliated by going
for her head, but her chest got in the way, and he hit her chest instead)
Zephon: (seeing what he did) (terrified) I'm so gonna die!
Umah: DIE!!!
(Umah swung low, Zephon blocked, went for her legs, she blocked and hit his arm. He
stumbled and hid behind a chair. She swung the Reaver at his head, but he used the
chair as a shield. The Reaver got stuck in the chair, Zephon twisted and threw the
chair, and Umah's Reaver with it. Just then Umah pointed out that Zephon's shoes were
untied and when Zephon looked down, he discovered she was lying. She now had
Zephon's Reaver and Zephon was helpless)
Umah: DIE!!! (she swung the Reaver onto Zephon's head and the Reaver broke) Wha?
Zephon: HAHA! I'M SO GLAD I HAVE A HARD HEAD! MY HEAD'S SO HARD IT BROKE
YOUR REAVER, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! (then Zephon got her Reaver and defeated
the still in shock Umah)
(with Umah defeated, several troops rushed at him, but he killed them all and found a
Time Streaming Device)
Zephon (as Kain): (holding the Time Streaming Device) Well, I'll be damned. What're
the odds of that? (then Zephon used it and the stage crew, which consisted of Rahab,
pulled the past background from behind Zephon and put the present background in its
place. Then the filming stopped)
________________________________________________________
The setting is still the Pillars
Kain: (to Zephon) Well, I thought you would've died Zephon.
Zephon: Yeah, that's my loving daddy. Why'd you sick Umah on me!?
Kain: Oh, that was fun, wasn't it?
Zephon: Listen Kain, you've gotta get us away from each other or we'll kill each other!
Kain: Ah, the old 'hang around with you too long and I'll kill you' thing.
Zephon: Exactly.
Kain: Good. Cause y'all are all in quarantine.
(that got everyone's attention)
Turel: WHAT!? QUARANTINE! WHY!?
Rahab: It canith be pardoned.
Kain: Hey, where's the ingrate?
(then Moebius comes back, dragging a tied up Raziel)
Moebius: Ahahahahahahaha!
Vorador: (who has been since the beginning, watching) Moebius, you stupid old haggy
wart, what're you doing here!?
Moebius: Taking your dear Razzyboy hostage! HAHAHAHA!
Raziel: (very muffled cause of rope) Don't call me Razzyboy!
Moebius: So, if you want to see him not dead, I'd suggest you give into my demands!
Kain: How can an old he-dike like you ever kill Raziel?
Moebius: My staff can make things explode! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Turel: You, Moebius, are such a...you're an...stupid little...I can't think of the
words to express my hatred!
Moebius: My demands are: 1 toy truck, 5 green crayons, 12 pieces of paper cut-free
paper, 2 pairs of scissors, 1 coloring book, 1 cup of tea, and 9 lumps of sugar. AHAHA!!
Rahab: Whatith the Satin's Place do youth want withth that?
Kain: That's a lot to give away! Well, I'm not paying.
Moebius: Then Raziel will die!
Kain: Hey, I get to keep my stuff and Razzyboy dies, that's a win-win.
Raziel: (muffled) Don't call me RAZZYBOY!
Zephon: But we can't just let him kill Raziel!
(then Dumah rushes in)
Kain: (sees Duamh) My favorite son Dumah, where've you been!?
Dumah: Ever since the other day, I've been trying to figure out who I am!
Moebius: Hey everyone, pay attention to me again!
Kain: And what did you find out?
Dumah: I found out that I'm an executioner for the world!
Kain: Bravo!
Moebius: (to Kain) Kain, you and your sons will die here!
(then Dumah bravely rushed up, threw Raziel out of the way, punched Moebius in the
gut, then threw Moebius away)
Rahab: Brother Dumah saved us!
Kain: Go Dumah!
Turel: Dumah's a hero!
Raziel: (muffled) Help, I'm still tied up.
Kain: Dumah, now that you and Janos are here...where's Janos? (Janos comes in)
Janos: (to Kain) You said you'd give me tacos if a came. Well, I'm here, but I don't see
tacos.
Kain: Now that everyone's here, I want you all to know you're now in quarantine!
Dumah: Why!!!!!!!?
Kain: Because the horoscope for today said "Anyone not of your star sign will give you
a deadly disease unless they're in quarantine."
Vorador: But I'm the same star sign as you Kain!
Kain: Well, you're in here because I hate you! Good-bye. (then Kain leaves and locks
them all in there)
Rahab: Well, son of a bitchith.
Zephon: I know how we can occupy out time.
Janos: How?
Zephon: Oh, 100 bottles of blood on the wall, 100 bottles of blood! Take 1 down, pass
it around, 99 bottles of blood on the wall!
(then, as everyone except Raziel beat the crap out of Zephon, Raziel could'nt help but
be annoyed)
Raziel: (muffled) Will someone please untie me?
______________________________________________________________________
Well, I hope you all liked this chapter and don't forget to review!