TA: Don't blame me, blame five hours of no internet service.

Chiriko looked up from his book and sighed. Mitsukake was still tied to his chair, and it didn't look like he would be escaping anytime soon. He was fast asleep. Usually Chiriko would have been out shopping with the others, but he had been elected to stay home with Mitsukake to make sure he didn't get sugar high again.

"I'm thirsty," Chiriko said to no one in particular. Tama mewed his response. Chiriko slid out of his chair and headed for the kitchen. Usually he had to get Chichiri or Tasuki or one of them to get him a glass, but of course, Mitsukake couldn't be untied and the others were out doing their shopping. Wondering if someone had put a bottle of water in the large, white mechanism in which food items are kept cold, he looked up at the handle. Curse being short. It was a time like this that Miboshi's levitation power would have been helpful, but the psychopathic monk dude was in the middle of a Obsessive Maniacal Possessors Anonymous meeting (AN: Purple Mouse, did I ever tell you how much I absolutely adore your fanfics? I don't claim to own this, because it's yours. I love that fic ^^). After prying open the door from the bottom, Chiriko gazed around the large white vastness of the large, white mechanism in which food items are kept cold, until he spied a bottle of cola with the label taken off on the bottle shelf in the back.

"Liquid substance is liquid substance," Chiriko reached in and removed the bottle. Moments later, he placed the empty bottle in the trash can. "Didn't taste much like cola, demo, it was…rather good." Then he hiccuped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"DAAAA!!!!!!"

"OUT OF MY FUCKIN WAY!!!!"

Chichiri and Tasuki were dashing down a very busy road. At first, the reason was unable to be noticed, but moments later a swarm of fangirls galloped after then.

"Chichiri love! Come back!"

"TASUKIIIIII!!!!!!!"

And so the chase went on.

"Library!" Chichiri dashed into the building for sanctuary. Tasuki blinked and stopped.

"Chichiri? Yo, Chiri! Where'd you go?!"

"THERE HE IS!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tasuki started running again. Chichiri watched from inside the library doors as thousands of fangirls dashed after him.

"Phew na no da…" he sighed in relief. He turned to head into the library to see every girl's head in there staring at him.

"Uh oh…"

"EE!! It's CHICHIRI! GET HIM!"

"DAAAAAA!!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tasuki slammed the door behind him. His Suzaku-given speed ability was extremely helpful. The fangirls were no where in sight.

"Da!" Chichiri popped in over the couch. "So…hot no da…" He took off his mask to wipe his face of sweat.

"There you are!" Tasuki glared. "Where the hell did you vanish off to and leave me to face those fangirls?!"

"The library, but it didn't help no da. They still found me no da." He finished drying his mask and replaced it on his face.

"Well…at least they won't find us here…Chiriko! Mitsukake! We're back!"

"SAVE MEEEE!!!!" Mitsukake's cry issued from the living room.

"Now what no da?" Chichiri ventured forth and stuck his head in the room. Before Tasuki could ask what was in there, Chichiri yanked his head out and slammed the door.

"CHICHIRI! GET BACK IN HERE AND HELP ME!!!!"

"What the fuck?" Tasuki opened the door and looked in. Chiriko sat in the middle of the floor in a large dress and a judge's gavel in his hands.

"Chiriko! You're not Taiitsukun! Put DOWN the mallet!"

"Quiet Nyan-Nyan!" Chiriko kicked the chair. It didn't move. "Hm. Must be losing my touch."

"Chiriko?! What the fuckin hell?!" Tasuki's mouth dropped open.

"Tasuki! I am not Chiriko! I am Mojo-Jojo! Mojo-Jojo I am, for I am none other than Mojo-Jojo! And I, Mojo-Jojo, will defeat the Powerpuff girls and take over the world! For I am, Mojo-Jojo! WAHAHAHA!!"

"K-kowai no da…" Chichiri trembled behind Tasuki.

"I thought we put all the sugar out of his reach!" Tasuki sweatdropped. Chiriko hiccuped.

"What about your alcoholic substances Tasuki no da?" Chichiri's eyes gave Tasuki the idea that he was being glared at.

"Um…um…oh shit…" Tasuki dashed off for the kitchen and returned a moment later. "Yep. Chiriko's drunk."

"You were supposed to keep that stuff out of his reach!" Mitsukake and Chichiri shouted together.

"Oh baby! You drive me crazy!" Chiriko sang, very off key. Tasuki twitched. Everyone knew he had a thing against Britney Spears ever since Miaka had drug him and Tamahome to a concert. He slowly raised his tessen from his hand to in front of him.

"No Tasuki-chan no da! It's Chiriko!"

"I don't fuckin care! It's SPEARS!"

"What's Spears?" Nuriko stood in the doorway beside Hotohori.

"NURI-CHAN-SAMA!" A flying blur attacked Nuriko, knocking him over.

"IS SATURDAY OFFICIALLY "ATTACK THE STRONG CROSSDRESSER" DAY?!" Nuriko screamed from the floor.

"Miaka leaped on him from behind earlier. They're still grocery shopping," Hotohori explained before looking down at Nuriko and Chiriko. "Whatever is wrong with Chiriko?"

"Tasuki left his alcohol where Chiriko could find it no da." Tasuki cowered at the feeling of a glare from Chichiri again.

"I would have thought Chiriko had more sense than that," Hotohori stated the obvious.

"Well…ya see…I took the label off the bottle after I washed it last time and refilled it yester-"

"YOU IDIOT!" Tasuki found his head imbedded in the ceiling via a Nuriko Punch.

"Nuriko, Have I ever told you how amazingly sexy you are?" Chiriko hugged the crossdresser tightly.

"You're too young for that sort of thing Chiriko no da." Chichiri detached the youngest seishi from Nuriko and plopped him in a chair.

"But, but, I'm a little teapot, short and stout! With pink llamas."

"Chiriko, you just stay still. If someone unties me I'll go make a medicine that will-"

"REKKA SHINEN!" Chiriko shouted. The fan exploded with flames, burning Tasuki in the process.

"Fuck…" Tasuki spat out with a smoke cloud before fainting. Chiriko giggled.

"Look! I'm Tasuki!" Chiriko proceeded to spew out a stream of obscenities bad enough to make Tasuki bow his head in shame. He also followed each few words with "no da." Chichiri bowed his own head.

"Suzaku I'm so ashamed no da…" He walked off, muttering something about making a ward against alcohol demons. Hotohori thought he heard beer bottles breaking in the kitchen moments later. He went to check it out.

"Nuriko, watch Chiriko and make sure he doesn't get away."

"Yes Hotohori-sama."

Hotohori proceeded to join Chichiri breaking beer bottles. Nuriko turned back to the chair Chiriko rested in…and found an empty chair.

"Uh oh…Chiriko?"

The door out onto the street was open.

"Oh shit…" Nuriko slapped a hand over his mouth before running out. "Chiriko! Chiriko, where are you?!"

Miaka and Tamahome stood in the driveway and bags of groceries littered the ground around their feet. Their eyes were on the roof.

"WHOO! I'm on top of the world!!!" Chiriko's voice echoed. The dress he had worn previously hung off a bush. Nuriko cringed at the thought without even looking up.

"Go get a towel Miaka. I'll get the kid."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, Chiriko's been taken care of now no da?" Chichiri sighed in relief at Nuriko's news.

"Yep."

Upstairs…

Tasuki and Chiriko were stuck in a room together, Tasuki tied to a chair, Chiriko tied to his bed. Tears streamed down Tasuki's face.

"Sa-ke…" he sobbed. "All…gone…"

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedaledee. Here they are, standing in a row…"