Chapter 2 - Balcony
Jack spent the night in the student lounge, which had been set up as a refuge for those too drunk to drive home. Topanga had been their designated driver, planning to drop them all off at their respective places, but Jack didn't think he could handle what would surely be an interminable ride to their apartment in the same car as Eric.
He had bummed a ride from a friend in the student union who was going in the right direction early the next morning, and was now back in his apartment. He hadn't seen Eric since he got back, which was partly because Jack was doing his very very best to avoid him, and partly because Eric was still in bed with a massive hangover.
Rachel had been up and about, and had asked him where he ended up last night. He had answered her, making up some lie about meeting someone there and losing track of time. After that he hadn't talked to her much, and though she seemed rather curious, she didn't push him.
Now he stood on the balcony, gazing across the street. What the heck had happened last night? He had kissed Eric! More than that, he thought, groaning, he had made out with him. He had let Eric french kiss him, and he was pretty sure that he had felt his friend's hands go rather unnecessarily low on his backside at least once.
He shook his head. But why? Eric, very obviously, had been completely drunk. He had an excuse. But Jack hadn't been that drunk. Hardly at all, even. He should have been able to stop it after the very first kiss. Would have been able to. But he hadn't. Why hadn't he?
Because you liked it, said a treacherous voice from the back of his mind.
It was hard to deny that. He had liked it. He had liked it a lot. And that really scared him.
Jack heard the front door of the apartment open and close. A voice called out. "Jack? Are you here?" It was Shawn.
"On the balcony," he yelled back. He really had no desire to talk to Shawn, but if he didn't answer, he knew his half-brother would just come looking for him anyway.
The door to the balcony opened and closed, but Jack didn't bother to look up. He just stared ahead at the ugly concrete buildings, hoping fervently that Shawn would ask him where he had gone and then leave.
The first part was easy. "What happened to you last night? You missed the ride home," he said, coming over and standing next to Jack.
Jack nodded uneasily. "Yeah. I headed over to the lounge right after midnight to see how it was going and ran into someone," he said, sticking to his earlier lie. "I kind of lost track of time."
"I see." There was silence for a moment. Finally, Shawn heaved a large sigh. "Look. I saw you and Eric making out at the party yesterday."
Jack flinched visibly. "We were drunk. Especially him. It means nothing."
"Are you so sure about that?" Shawn leaned against the railing and glancing at him sideways. "Because you see, I don't think so."
Jack favored him with a slightly confused frown, but took the bait. "Oh? What makes you say that?"
"Are you kidding?" asked Shawn. "Ever since I moved in with you two I've watched your dynamics. Both of you are constantly dancing around each other, flirting but not flirting. I think this was a long time coming."
"No," said Jack fervently. "That's not true. There is nothing between us." Disgusted, he paced over to the balcony doorway and put his hand on the knob, preparing to leave.
But Shawn wasn't done. "I don't know. I think there are some deep feelings there. I really do. If you would just-"
"NO!" Jack repeated, more forcefully this time. He turned, keeping his hand on the doorknob, but his eyes on his brother. "I don't care what you think but-" he turned the knob, opening the door, "-I am NOT in love with Eric!"
He turned around to leave, only to find himself face to face with the very topic of conversation.
Eric's mouth had been slightly agape, but he shut it with a snap and looked away, standing aside so that Jack could pass.
Jack opened his mouth. He knew he should say something to Eric, anything really, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to speak. He bit his lower lip and stalked past Eric, into his bedroom.
******
Eric flinched as he heard Jack's door slam, then cautiously poked his head out onto the balcony, curious as to who Jack had been talking to.
He found Shawn stading there, looking rather unhappily in the direction that his brother had left. When Shawn saw Eric, his expression changed to one of mild suprise.
"Some conversation the two of you were having," Eric said quietly, closing the door behind him as he stepped onto the balcony.
"No kidding," said Shawn, running a hand through his hair the way he did when he was worried.
Eric smiled slightly, though it was tinged with sadness and came to lean on the balcony next to Shawn, as Shawn had just done with Jack. "So I take it you saw what happened last night," he said, phrasing it as a statement rather than a question.
Shawn nodded. "Even with everyone else making out, you two were kind of hard to miss."
Eric grimaced. "I never meant for it to turn out that way. It was just... I was really drunk, and you're supposed to kiss someone on New Year's, and Jack was the closest person at hand..."
"So you're not in love with him then?" Shawn questioned.
"Oh I'm in love with him all right," Eric answered with suprisingly little embarassment. "I just... didn't want our first kiss to be like that. When I was drunk. When he was drunk. When it seemed like the only reason I did it was situational."
"You should tell him," said Shawn. "I don't think he knows."
Eric rested his head lightly on the cool metal railing, drawing some small measure of comfort from it. "If he knew, and that's assuming that he doesn't already, do you think that he would accept it? You heard what he said when he left. He doesn't love me. Not by any stretch of the imagination."
He glanced at Shawn out of the corner of his eye, and saw the younger boy bite his lip in thought. "Well... I think that it's worth a try. Like I said to Jack, I've watched you two for a while, and you have amazing dynamics. And trust me, after watching Cory and Topanga all my life, I know what couple dynamics look like. I think Jack will come around. He's just scared at the moment."
Eric lifted his head and studied Shawn. "You don't have any problem with this?" he asked, slightly incredulous.
Shawn grinned at him. "Honestly? Nah. Although I must admit, I never pegged you for gay-"
"Bi," Eric interjected.
"-I think you two make a very cute couple. And I also think that it was kind of meant to be. I mean, in this slightly dysfunctional little group, you and Jack are the only two without designated partners. And Rachel too, I suppose."
"Rachel." Eric winced. "I wonder how she'll take this. I think she still has feelings for Jack. I imagine this won't go down well with her."
"Tell you what," said Shawn. "How about I break the news to Angela and have her break it to Rachel? That was she hears it from a very close friend who is not involved in the scenario. And no one knows how to break something gently like Angela does."
Eric brightened. "Thanks. That would be great. Since I don't think Jack is planning on telling anyone anytime soon, you're the only other person who knows about this."
"And anyone else who saw you at the party," Shawn reminded him.
Eric's good mood dimmed slightly. "Oh yeah. I suppose it's too good to hope that there wasn't anyone else?"
"'Fraid so," said Shawn. "Well, I'm going to go talk to Angela. I'll see you later."
"See you Shawn," said Eric distractedly. He was already trying to think of how on earth he was going to bring up the subject with Jack.
Oh God, that was hideous. Take me back.
or
Oh God, that was hideous. Let me complain to the author.