unspoken: questions

Zoro stepped quietly to the screen door in the dewy morning air, pausing to listen carefully for sounds within. He tapped lightly on the door.

"Kuina?"

Silence.

"Kuina?"

Was she mad at him now? He had been so abrupt before. Maybe her feelings were hurt and now she was going to give him the silent treatment. Again.

He slid the door open a few inches to peep inside. Everything was still and quiet.

"It's me..." he called out, his voice sounding the slightest bit unsure of himself. "I'm coming in."

He slipped off his boots with some effort and placed them near the door, stepping inside the house. The floorboards felt smooth and cold under his feet.

He padded through the front room, looking around. The fire had gone out hours ago but a few embers still glowed beneath the ashes. A pot with a few grains of rice still stuck inside it remained on the stove. A small stack of dishes in the sink, probably from last night's dinner. A plate, a rice bowl, a soup bowl, and...

He bent and picked up her teacup, feeling the weight of it in his hand. It was such a small object, perfectly formed delicate porcelain, easily breakable, yet surprisingly strong. Its unseen weight attested to that. It reminded him of its owner. He wrapped his fingers around the smooth surface. Was this, then, how it would feel to hold her?

His eyes caught upon a book lay next to the sink, with dog-eared pages. He put the teacup down, smiling in spite of himself as he picked the volume up. A kendo book. She must have been reading while she was cooking again.

He let the book fall open to the page she had marked.

"In any confrontation, one cannot forget the self. The self should be regarded as one's main adversary, and one should always be alert that oftentimes, we ourselves are the ones who cause ourselves to be defeated. Defeat is often found at one's own hands, rather than at the hands of the opponent. Only when one understands this, can we arm ourselves to fight against our very nature. The self is the one enemy we cannot run from, and self-defeat is the bitterest loss to recover from."

Zoro stared at the words for a long moment, his brow furrowed.

A sound caught his ears from within the house. He put the book down rapidly, trying to place it exactly as it had been.

"Kuina?"

He padded in his bare feet towards the paper screen door, sliding it open.

"Kui--" His voice dropped to a whisper. "na."

She lay in bed still, bundled up in blankets on her futon. Her pillow framed her face, white and soft like a snowdrift. The little blue-black locks of her hair lay about her face, in a gentle tousle. Her cheeks pink, rosy and warm.

Zoro's eyes hungered to take in the sight... but his body was, thankfully, smarter. He stepped backwards through the door and began to slide it shut, unable to help watching through the shrinking space...

She stirred, and opened one eye. Seeing him, her face broke into a gentle smile.

"Zoro." she sighed, her voice feathery.

He stopped closing the door but dared not slide it back open any further. "Aa."

Kuina snuggled under her blankets, seemingly enjoying the warmth. "I was just thinking about you."

Zoro pried his hand from the doorframe. "I'll go," he volunteered. "I'll be back later."

"No, wait!" she replied. "I'll just be a minute."

"No... you should sleep." he admitted. Any dream she had would be better for her than being with him would be.

"I don't want to," she said, pushing her blankets back. "I'm getting up."

Zoro turned quickly before he would see her getting out from under the covers. He slid the paper door closed, thanked himself for the ability to do so even as the performed the task.

He leaned against the doorframe as though guarding her, cursing at himself silently. Here... he kept visiting, kept on coming back for more. Like an idiot. He was like a moth dancing with the flame.

Her sleepy smile...

The rustle of fabric came from within the room. A muscle on his neck twitched in response.

"Are you hungry?" she called out to him as she dressed.

"No."

"Are you sure? Because I could make some tea or--"

"No."

"Okay." Her voice fell soft.

Silence.

He sighed to himself. He was doing it again.

She slid the door open at last. "So. what do you want to do?"

Zoro looked down at her and shifted uneasily. The clothes she had put on looked warm and comfortable, the soft fabric hanging almost boyishly on her slight frame. He tried not to notice how the collar of her shirt curled away from her throat, revealing a peek of delicate collarbone. She was waiting for his answer, trying to appear bright. The smile on her face did not quite reach her eyes, which flickered with hope and uncertainty.

"Outside." he managed to say at last. "Let's go outside."

The sun was rising over the hills as they made their way through the fields. Zoro loped along, not really sure if he felt more annoyed or more sorry for being cold. Kuina pushed to keep up with him, following him down a beaten path through the dewy grass.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

Zoro shrugged. "I dunno."

"It feels nice to get outside," Kuina remarked, looking up at the soft pink and lavender sky.

"Yeah." Zoro took a deep breath of morning air. It felt nice and cool. He felt his body start to relax a bit. He looked over at her, but she wasn't next to him. She was following along behind him.

Zoro stopped for her to catch up, but she stopped too, behind him. He started again, and tried to slow down, to let her keep up, but she didn't step forward the way he expected her to. He slowed a few paces and moved aside for her, a third time, with a growl. "What are you doing?"

"What? I'm walking."

"No, you're not, you're..." He tried to stand next to her and she moved again. "Stop that!"

"But this is how I'm supposed to walk, isn't it?" She stood aside, out of the way.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Now is not the time to be old-fashioned."

"It's not old-fashioned, it's tradition. There's a difference," she sniffed.

"Why bother with it? No one's here to see you." Zoro scoffed.

"That's not the point," she protested. "This is just all I know."

"That doesn't sound like something you would say," he pointed out. "Miss Female Swordfighter."

"True." she agreed. "But, you don't want me to walk like this?"

"Why would I?" he grumbled. "It's creepy. How do I know you're not gonna whack me?"

"I thought you would like it." Kuina looked off into the distance, her voice dropping to a murmur.

"Oh, Kuina." Zoro let out a long sigh. "Just walk next to me."

"All right," she consented. She picked up her steps to keep up with him, walking at his side.

"It's better that way," he mumbled.

She watched his expression carefully. He seemed to be trying to pretend he didn't like having the extra attention. She smiled to herself, satisfied.

Maybe someday... he'll let me walk with him like a woman, she thought with a hopeful flutter answering in her chest.

Idiot. You are walking with me like a woman, he shot back at her.

No, it's different.

Not to me.

Stupid Zoro.

Bratty Kuina.

Silence reigned. Each of them seemed to decide that both talking time and thinking time were now over. Zoro stuffed his hands in his pockets. Kuina tossed her hair.

Yet they kept walking. Side-by-side.

Zoro watched her carefully, thinking about what could have possessed her to start walking behind him like an old married couple. What kind of thoughts went through her mind all day? What was it she wanted from him, anyway? What was her idea of what they should be like?

"I'm sorry," he said, out of nowhere.

"For what?"

"You know."

"No, for what?"

"For being..." he trailed off, not sure what the word he needed was.

"...Zoro?" she supplied, sounding mischievous.

"Yeah. I mean," he caught it and gave her a sharp glare. "No."

Kuina laughed. "You can't help it. You're weak."

Zoro shook his head and turned abruptly, off the path and across a field. "Gahh..."

Kuina picked her way after him in the tall grass, trying to match his footsteps. His strides seemed to have grown even longer than she had remembered. Had he gotten even taller? How much more was that boy going to grow?

She giggled to herself, thinking that with how much he ate, it should come as no surprise. She looked down at her own feet as she stepped into his huge footprints. She had grown too, but if Zoro grew any more, she would practically be a dwarf to him. She had better try to keep up or she would lose ground.

"What's so funny?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at the sound of her laughter. His face brightened a bit, seeing her happy, and he looked a little less stormy than usual.

"Your feet are huge," Kuina laughed.

"No, they're not. You just have little feet."

"I do not!" Kuina sounded insulted. "They've gotten bigger."

"But you had little feet to begin with." Zoro reminded her, amused that she was getting defensive over the size of her feet. Wouldn't most girls do the opposite? But this was Kuina. And this was the part of her that made her the most fun.

"So." was all she could put back.

He gave a half-smile. "That bothers you?"

Kuina scowled. "No."

"It does." Zoro stopped and turned to face her, his interest growing.

"So what if my feet are small?" Kuina muttered. "At least I'm not a weakling like someone I know."

Zoro almost laughed. Suddenly he seemed like the younger, peskier kid Kuina remembered from a few years back. "But I'd rather be a weakling with a better center of gravity, than someone with little, tiny feet." He pointed at her feet in her little straw sandals. "Look at those."

Kuina and Zoro stared down at her feet for a few minutes.

"There's nothing wrong with them," Kuina sniffed, sounding like she really felt just the opposite. "They're easy to run with."

"But there's a problem!" Zoro pointed out. "The reason it bugs you." He pushed her lightly on the shoulder.

Kuina tumbled into the grass. "Whoa!"

"You lose your balance too easy." Zoro laughed.

Kuina glared up at him from the grass. "You dork."

Zoro smiled, an evil smile. "And yet another advantage to use against you." He grabbed her arm and pulled her back up to her feet.

Kuina shooed the comment away. "Whatever. You need all the help you can get, I suppose."

"What's with you?" Zoro chuckled under his breath. "Most girls would be flattered if a guy said they had small feet."

Kuina looked frustrated. "Whatever for?"

He shrugged as he continued walking. "I dunno how to explain that. Girls like being smaller than guys."

"That's just stupid." She huffed. "Being the same is better."

"Not always." Zoro grunted. "It makes some sense."

Kuina shook her head.

Zoro stopped and took her hand, placing it in his own. "Look."

Kuina stared down at her own small hand in his, studying. He looked on as she did so, waiting for her to comprehend the idea. When she shook her head again, not fully understanding, he stepped closer.

Kuina looked up at Zoro. He was taller than her, yes, but suddenly, being so near, he seemed to tower over her. She could feel the thick muscles of his hand beneath hers, could sense the power in them. As much as she hated it, it was obvious. He was so much bigger than her, and stronger. Yet, even with all of Zoro's size and power, his speed was still incredible, making him all-in-all lethal. Like a tiger. But he was just standing there, looking down at her.

And for once in her life, Kuina knew what it was like to feel intimidated.

He watched over her, quietly. He was thinking to her, guiding her along to what he wanted her to figure out.

I could hurt you, little girl.

But I won't.

You're different from me.

But I'll...

"...protect." She finished his thought, her voice a hushed whisper. She looked up, excited and hopeful. "Is that it? Is that the reason why?"

Zoro looked at her patiently, as though he were trying to teach a child. "What do you think?"

"I think..." Kuina looked down again, studying his hand. The callouses, the battered knuckles, the deep lines and creases. Suddenly something seemed to have struck her, and her cheeks turned a slight pink. She drew her hand away. "I think that's silly."

She gestured around. "What is there here to protect someone from?" she remarked, sounding cocky. "There's nothing dangerous here."

Zoro's eyes narrowed slightly. Her back to him, she did not witness this, nor did she see the wild flicker that crossed them.

Don't test me, little girl.

In an obvious expression that she had no idea what she was messing with, Kuina took off through the tall grass, disappearing. Her laughter echoed back to him over the tops of the waving green blades which had swallowed her up. Usually she tended to be serious, but for some reason she felt playful all of a sudden. Maybe it was just being outside together, maybe it was having held his hand. Maybe he had gotten too serious and it scared her, scared her to pieces.

"Bet you can't find me," she called out.

"Kuina, come out!" He sounded extremely annoyed.

"No." The grass rustled with her movement. "I don't feel like it." I don't feel like letting you think you can tell me what to do.

"I don't feel like playing stupid games." I don't -do- games. Except... With you. Damn you.

"That's because stubborn boars aren't very good at sneaking around," she laughed. "Are they?"

He rolled his eyes, agitated. "Dammit, Kuina..."

There was no reply.

"Kuina." His voice carried a warning.

"That's it." Zoro stalked into the grass, feeling around for her. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

The sun had risen completely now and warmed the earth. The air felt humid and sweat began to bead on Zoro's brow. He tried to see over the tops of the grass. He tried to sense her location, but she wasn't letting him. She was playing with him. And he didn't like it one bit.

You don't mess with me like this, he thought to himself. Nobody messes with me like this.

He looked around.

God. Make that, only one person gets away with messing with me like this.

"Stu-bborn bo-ar..." she sang out from somewhere off to the left.

Zoro turned and moved towards where he judged she might be.

"Brat-ty fo-x," he muttered, mimicking her.

"I'm a fox?" He heard her ask. "Why a fox?"

"You're always messing with me like this." He strode towards the direction of her voice. Always teasing.

"It makes you mad, doesn't it?"

Zoro wiped his forehead. "You always know just how to piss me off."

"It bothers you, doesn't it?"

"You always know exactly what will drive me crazy."

"Poor baby... it must be so so sad to be weak AND dumb."

Kuina crouched low in the grass, watching carefully and listening for his movements. She had lost track of him and figured he had fallen for her tricks and gone the wrong way. She stifled a self-satisfied laugh. Serves him right for going around showing off, acting like he was so great just because he was bigger. She wasn't scared of him. Not one little--

Suddenly, something jumped out at her from behind, springing like a tiger. She screamed, startled. Zoro grabbed her arm and dragged her to her feet. The look in his eyes was lethal. Kuina heard herself let out a faint whimper as he gave her arm a light shake.

"You listen to me," he growled. "You're not a kid anymore. So stop playing around like one."

"Yes." She covered her mouth with her free hand.

"I'm not your game."

"Yes."

He let go of her, shaking his head. "Why did you do that? I swear to god I don't understand your brain sometimes."

Kuina looked away. "Sometimes you just make me feel so..." she paused to search for the right word. "I don't know. You have to have your way."

Zoro blinked. "What kind of a thing to say is that?"

"How come you think you can tell me what to do?" she asked, putting a hand on her hip.

He made a fist. "How come you think it's funny to push me?"

Because you're mine.

Each stopped and stared at the other, having had the same thought at the same time.

I am?

I am not!

You are.

"I am not!" Kuina yelled, out loud. "I'm me! And I hate you sometimes!"

Zoro staggered backwards as though she had punched him in the stomach. "What did you say?"

The girl's fists clenched at her sides, her eyes squeezed tight shut, she seemed to be fighting something off.

"I'm not you!" she shouted. "I'm different!"

Zoro was shocked. "K-kuina." I don't want you to be me.

She opened her eyes, looking lost. But what do I want to be? "It hurts."

Oh god. Zoro looked down, taking a deep breath.

It's going to be okay.

"Kuina, come here."

You'll be okay. It just takes time.

Kuina looked like she might push him away, or maybe run away herself. But Zoro stepped forward slowly, with the same kind of cautiousness he might have had approaching a cat up in a tree.

He stretched his hands out and slowly put his arms around her.

She blinked, looking around.

Zoro held her tight, not letting her get free even when she tried to pull away.

Hey. Kuina. I know it's confusing. But you aren't like me. You can't be like me. You're like you. And you have to figure out for yourself what that means, and who you are. I can't do it for you. But you know, whatever it is that you decide, whoever it is that you find, you will always be mine. And I will always...

I'm so afraid, afraid of myself. I'm all alone, and I have to invent everything on my own. I'm a woman now and I don't even know what that is. I have to make it up by myself with just my own memories. You're all I have, but that's the worst part. I see you growing away from me. There are things you can't tell me now, pain in your eyes you don't want to share. And if you leave me, what will I be? But, Zoro, even if you leave me, even if you forget me, I will always...

Always...

Zoro held Kuina tighter, feeling his eyes grow misty.

"I'll walk you home."

"Yes."

Always...