Last Dance With Shinobu-Chan.
By Project Pegasus
Chapter 6: Part III
****
This is nonsense, Motoko told herself as the opened her eyes. If she could not meditate, she might as well practice, she thought as the door to the wooden balcony was opened and a head poked out. It was Shinobu.
"Aoyama-semapi," Shinobu said hesitantly, "may I practice with you?"
"Shinobu," Motoko said coldly. She continued to execute her exercises, her sword flashing and dancing above her head. "I haven't seen you out here in a while."
Motoko continued to practice, ignoring Shinobu.
"Aoyama-sempai, please, I'd like to practice with you today," Shinobu begged.
It's ok, Shinobu, I know you have better things to do." Motoko replied between her sword strokes.
Crestfallen, Shinobu turned to leave.
"Wait Shinobu," Motoko conceded halfheartedly, "Come on. I hope you've been practicing."
Shinobu turned around, her face alight with the joy of Motoko's acceptance. She took her place along side Motoko and began to mimic her movements. Shinobu felt proud, yet quaked in the shadow of such an imposing warrior as Motoko. Out of the corner of her eye, Motoko watched to guarantee that Shinobu's form was correct.
"No, no Shinobu, you're doing it wrong," Motoko protested. "Here," she said as she went behind Shinobu's back. Motoko gently placed one hand on Shinobu's hip and one hand on her torso. "You see," she instructed, "Pivot your waist like this. That's where most of your power comes from." Shinobu noticed that Motoko's sturdy hands clutched her almost tenderly but shook a bit as they guided her motion. "And keep your upper body motionless." Shinobu felt the warmth and weight of Motoko's hand as it pressed into her side. "See, easy. Understand?"
Shinobu nodded her head.
"Are you sure you understand what I'm trying to do?"
"I understand," Shinobu said, "I keep my upper body straight and pivot my waist, right?"
"Yes. Right," Motoko said a bit flustered. She reassumed her position beside Shinobu, and the two practiced in synchronization and silence once more.
But she was sure that Shinobu didn't understand what she was trying to do, and she wasn't even sure that she wanted Shinobu to know. So many of the other residents had found their first loves while boarding at Hinata Sou. Naru had fallen for Seta. Shinobu and Mutsumi had found Keitaro. It was part of their growing up. What could be more pure than a first love? But her first love would have to be a part of her life that she could never reveal to anybody. Perhaps she would never marry, remain celibate, and would inherit the ancient family dojo, but she could never disgrace her family by . . . by . . . "Stop it! I must concentrate," Motoko thought to herself.
Motoko again peered over at Shinobu imitating her movements. Motoko quickly looked forward again into the distance, into what seemed like an eternity. Were these tears welling up in her . . .? No, no. None of it was true. The most she could do was love Keitaro, she told herself insistently. Yes, Keitaro was her first love. Her sister had fallen in love with a man. That was natural. And it was natural for Shinobu and Mutsumi to be infatuated with Keitaro because they were women and he was a man. Keitaro helplessly lusted after Naru, a shameful and weak trait of his, but it was natural. Men with women. Women with men. Man arose from the red earth, woman from the rib of man. From a man and a woman come children. From children come the future. The future: cities, glass, wire, steel, concrete, all human inventions. Love: a human creation as well, and there wasn't a sliver of deviation for anything else, she told herself with painful confidence, not even for her.
Motoko paused in her exercises. "Shinobu," Motoko said with hesitation, "You know, we've never sparred before." Motoko wasn't even sure of her own intentions.
"No I suppose we haven't," Shinobu responded, her voice at once alarmed, confused, cautious, but trusting.
"Well, would you like to do it?" Motoko said calmly even though she was even more frightened of what she might do than Shinobu was. "Sparring I mean of course. I think that I've taught you well. It's just the next step in your training. We'll go a few easy rounds. OK?"
Shinobu nodded her head in acquiescence. Motoko took a few steps away from Shinobu and called out, "Ready?"
Again, Shinobu gave a timid nod. She gripped the halt of her katana. She knew that even though Motoko had been her sensei, she as nowhere near her level of skill. An eddy of distresses began to pool in her mind and her body would alternately shake and stiffen. But what would she have to worry about, Shinobu tried to convince herself. After all, Aoyama-sempai would never hurt her, she reasoned.
Motoko was eerily calm even though not even she knew what was going to happen. Shinobu held back in the defensive position Motoko had taught her. But even so, Shinobu's stance was defective and stilted. Motoko had attempted to refine Shinobu's defensive position on a number of occasions, but it was evident that Shinobu still had not learned anything; she had not changed Shinobu.
"From the rib of a man . . ." Motoko thought. "It would be nice to just curl up, thin as a rib, once again within the side of Man," she reflected, but she knew that it was too late for her. She stared at Shinobu.
What did she want from Shinobu, she asked. Not even she knew. Something vague, but insistent and immediate. She wanted Shinobu to at least understand her.
She lunged toward Shinobu and took two swipes at her. Shinobu timidly but almost by reflex blocked the strokes, motivated by an animal instinct to survive. Motoko backed away as Shinobu's eyes dilated with fear.
"Aoyama-sempai," Shinobu said in wonderment, "you're not holding back are you?"
"Shinobu," Motoko shouted ignoring her, "your posture is all wrong!" Motoko once again dived at Shinobu, dispatching a salvo of strikes against her. Each time Motoko's sword collided against Shinobu's, Shinobu let out a small scream of terror. Motoko finally relented and leapt back, assuming a defensive position and sizing up Shinobu.
"Aoyama-sempai," Shinobu pleaded, "That's enough! Please, I'm not ready for this. I don't want to do this! I can't do what you want me to do!" But Motoko had begun to charge her once again.
"Your posture is wrong!" Motoko reasserted as she came within striking distance and began to swing away furiously at Shinobu. "I've taught it to you a million times! Why won't you listen to me?" she cried. "Why can't you understand what I'm trying to say to you!?"
"I understand," Shinobu was able to squeak out as she alternately dodged and blocked Motoko's onslaught.
"No!" Motoko shrilled as her blade reached for Shinobu again and again relentlessly seeking its target, "You aren't listening to me! Why can't you understand me?!" Motoko's face grimaced with a rage beyond control, yet it was somehow tinged with melancholy. "Listen to me!" Her swings became agonizingly intense as Shinobu submissively defended herself as best she could. "Listen to me!" she shouted in anguish, "Listen to me!"
Motoko leaned backward as she struck at Shinobu with all her might, breaking Shinobu's sword at its base. Shinobu screamed prodigiously in a riotously bloody aria of fear and death, as though this was her last source of defense. Motoko grabbed Shinobu's uniform and maliciously gave her a judo hip toss, sending her hurtling toward the ground and landing awkwardly upon her side. After shaking off her daze, she stared up at Motoko, who was pointing her katana at Shinobu's head.
"Aoyama-sempai," Shinobu meekly whispered, "Don't act like I don't understand you."
Motoko was taken aback by this. She took a tentative step backward, not daring to take her eyes off Shinobu. Shinobu's eyes were uncharacteristically tranquil as she lay on the floor, looking up at her. Motoko continued to back away, perplexed and alarmed by Shinobu's gaze; it twinkled with empathy or perhaps even recognition. When she reached the door, she turned around and silently walked inside.
End of Chapter VI, Part III
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