"Take it away. Take everything away. Anything she's liable to hit her head
on," Megan ordered. "Except the ceiling. Keep that."
"She's alive. I win the bet!" Gumlick chirruped.
"You had to *live*, didn't you?" Rickmaniac accused, throwing herself into the chair so hard a leg fell off and she fell sideways. She stood, trying to regain what dignity she could muster.
"Give me a fiver!" Gumlick said, stamping her foot on the floor. "She lives, I win the bet, give me the money." Rickmaniac paused as if in thought and looked at the other girl. "Bollocks." she declared, stomping out the room.
"Can you remember what happened?" Megan asked.
"I was in a far away castle and Prince Alan came to save me. Oh, and I was naked."
"NAKED?" Gumlick asked.
"I think so." Wil said, scratching her head. "Nope, can't remember a darn thing."
"Iz she avake?" a doctor appeared at the door. "Ve need to czech for concussion."
Gumlick and Megan duly moved out of the way.
"Now, deez is jist a leetle test, okay? Could you pleeez geeve be youra name?" the doctor asked.
"Rameses Niblick the Third, Kerplunk, Kerplonk, Whoops I've Lost My Flibble," she replied fluently. "But you can call me Satan."
"Ah. And your dete of beirth?"
"31st October 5089," she replied. "B.C, that is."
"Your occupation?"
"Full time devil, part time pain-in-the ass," she said. The doctor blinked.
"Um. and your plaz of birth?"
"Hades, darling. Delightful place."
"And how would uzers dezcribe you?" he asked, tapping his pen on his teeth.
Wil sat back in thought. "Unabashedly evil. Darkly intimidating. Iniquitously malevolent."
"I sei. I will be back son with youra resultez," he said, stepping out the door. Megan finally closed her mouth and turned to her.
"What..the...hell..was that all about?" she asked. Wil bit her lip. "I am SAAAAATAN!" she schreeched, jumping up and down on the bed. It was then Rickmaniac charged towards her, baguette club in hand, and knocked her flying out the window.
"SCOOOOOORE!" she yelled triumphantly.
* "Um, yes. Your friend has been locked up. It seems the shock of meeting her idol has unhinged her. Most unfortunate," the hospital executive informed Megan, rustling various stacks of paper on his desk. "I do hope you understand that.er." he looked at the paper. "Rickmaniac. has been put away for her own good."
"Mm." Megan said "How is Wil? I haven't managed to see her."
"She doesn't appear to think she's Beelzebub anymore, and your friend Gumlick is sitting with her." He entwined his fingers and leaned forward. "However, she does have a potentially fatal side-effect of hitting her head so many times, and finally being shot out of a window by a mad woman with a sandwich."
"Really? Is it serious?"
"I'm afraid so. You see, she has psychologically associated pain, death, madness and evil things with all things bread-like. There is a possibility that if you show her anything, toast, bap, bagel, baguette, bun, burger, waffle, chignon, scone, even a sandwich itself, there is a high risk she will return to her disillusioned state and once again believe she is the devil. It is a very tragic case. I advise you to be veeery careful."
"Sandwich phobia.. How awful," Megan said to herself as she left
"She's alive. I win the bet!" Gumlick chirruped.
"You had to *live*, didn't you?" Rickmaniac accused, throwing herself into the chair so hard a leg fell off and she fell sideways. She stood, trying to regain what dignity she could muster.
"Give me a fiver!" Gumlick said, stamping her foot on the floor. "She lives, I win the bet, give me the money." Rickmaniac paused as if in thought and looked at the other girl. "Bollocks." she declared, stomping out the room.
"Can you remember what happened?" Megan asked.
"I was in a far away castle and Prince Alan came to save me. Oh, and I was naked."
"NAKED?" Gumlick asked.
"I think so." Wil said, scratching her head. "Nope, can't remember a darn thing."
"Iz she avake?" a doctor appeared at the door. "Ve need to czech for concussion."
Gumlick and Megan duly moved out of the way.
"Now, deez is jist a leetle test, okay? Could you pleeez geeve be youra name?" the doctor asked.
"Rameses Niblick the Third, Kerplunk, Kerplonk, Whoops I've Lost My Flibble," she replied fluently. "But you can call me Satan."
"Ah. And your dete of beirth?"
"31st October 5089," she replied. "B.C, that is."
"Your occupation?"
"Full time devil, part time pain-in-the ass," she said. The doctor blinked.
"Um. and your plaz of birth?"
"Hades, darling. Delightful place."
"And how would uzers dezcribe you?" he asked, tapping his pen on his teeth.
Wil sat back in thought. "Unabashedly evil. Darkly intimidating. Iniquitously malevolent."
"I sei. I will be back son with youra resultez," he said, stepping out the door. Megan finally closed her mouth and turned to her.
"What..the...hell..was that all about?" she asked. Wil bit her lip. "I am SAAAAATAN!" she schreeched, jumping up and down on the bed. It was then Rickmaniac charged towards her, baguette club in hand, and knocked her flying out the window.
"SCOOOOOORE!" she yelled triumphantly.
* "Um, yes. Your friend has been locked up. It seems the shock of meeting her idol has unhinged her. Most unfortunate," the hospital executive informed Megan, rustling various stacks of paper on his desk. "I do hope you understand that.er." he looked at the paper. "Rickmaniac. has been put away for her own good."
"Mm." Megan said "How is Wil? I haven't managed to see her."
"She doesn't appear to think she's Beelzebub anymore, and your friend Gumlick is sitting with her." He entwined his fingers and leaned forward. "However, she does have a potentially fatal side-effect of hitting her head so many times, and finally being shot out of a window by a mad woman with a sandwich."
"Really? Is it serious?"
"I'm afraid so. You see, she has psychologically associated pain, death, madness and evil things with all things bread-like. There is a possibility that if you show her anything, toast, bap, bagel, baguette, bun, burger, waffle, chignon, scone, even a sandwich itself, there is a high risk she will return to her disillusioned state and once again believe she is the devil. It is a very tragic case. I advise you to be veeery careful."
"Sandwich phobia.. How awful," Megan said to herself as she left