The next morning...
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An owl came from Sophie and Julien at school. They, of course, knew little or nothing about what was going on in the outside world, so their letter was short and cheery and full of little details about life at Hogwarts.
Julien had been Sorted into Gryffindor and Sophie was Ravenclaw. They got along with all of their professors, Julien said, except Snape who "really doesn't like you, Dad...or me either...but seems quite taken by Sophie. Most of the teachers are. Tell Mum thanks."
Reading that made Harry laugh. "Hey, Gabrielle," he called into the other room. "Sophie thanks you for being part Veela. Says it's making things a lot easier with some of the teachers." From the kitchen came Gabrielle's quiet giggle...it was the first time she had laughed in days.
She came and sat down next to him, reading over his shoulder. "You know, Harry, I wish things could be like they were - just me and you and the children, here or in France or anywhere at all," she sighed wistfully.
"I know," he said with a bitter smile. "Anywhere but here."
"You seem preoccupied today...Is something wrong?"
"I had a bad night. I was out til almost daybreak, following leads that came to nothing."
They sat in silence for a few moments, but then she asked the question that had been nagging at her for quite some time. "You know, I've been worried. Harry...I know you love your old school... but tell me the truth. How safe are our children there? I mean, rumour has it that the Potions master used to work with You-Know-Who...and a boy was definately murdered there while I was visiting...and God knows what else... Do you think they'll be all right?"
"Hogwarts is the safest place in the world for children!" he snapped. Then, he passed a hand over his eyes and apologized for being so rude. "Sorry. Look, Gabrielle, I know you're worried, but I can almost guarantee that the Dark Circle poses no threat to our children. I mean, what you said about Hogwarts is true, but I'm sure Sophie and Julien will be all right. Besides," he added, eyes lighting up strangely, "I'm going to pay a visit there tomorrow myself. I've got to have a talk with the Potions master, as a matter of fact...that should be fun... and while I'm there I'll check that nothing's wrong."
She smiled and dropped a soft kiss on Harry's forehead. "My wonderful husband with his built-in Dark detector..."
The scar was visible now, as it always was when Harry was at home, and he chuckled. "Oh, you're welcome to it. I'd swap any day for a normal face, you know."
"You wouldn't, mon amour. You'd better not. I like you as you are." She sat on his lap, and the unhappy tension in the room began to ease up. "We'll get through this, you know. We managed everything else. We'll be fine," she said reasussingly.
He rested his head on her shoulder. "I hope so."
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Severus Snape opened the door to his office and closed it behind him. It was nine o'clock at night, but he wanted to do some finishing touches on a potion that had to be completed in the moonlight. He turned to take something off the shelf. Since the halls had been silent and empty as he'd made his way through them, the professor was startled to hear his office door open again. He whirled around, all ready to lecture the student who dared to disturb him. But somehow, there was no student to lecture.
The door was open and nobody stood in the doorway. Then, the door closed itself and in the absolute silence of his office, Snape could hear breathing. Not his own, of course... there was another person in the room with him.
In an instant his wand was out. "Show yourself at once or I will hex you. I don't know what you think you're doing, entering my office without permission and invisible. Come, who is it?" his voice was irritated but otherwise steady.
Feet became visible then, and then legs, and soon a whole person.
It was Harry Potter, pulling off his trusty Invisibility Cloak and looking apologetic. "Sorry to intrude, Professor-" he was interrupted before he could get further.
"Harry Potter?" Snape asked incredulously. "What are you doing in my office? And what are you doing in this school, for that matter?"
"I'm sorry I startled you. I need to talk to you, and this is the first time I could catch you alone. I've been waiting all day."
"I believe there are procedures for paying visits to professors here, just as there are rules for visits to students," he lectured. Then, noting the look on Harry's face, he sneered, "However, as I realize that you are used to special allowances, I will take a moment to speak with you now. I presume you are here to complain about my treatment of your appallingly ill-mannered children?"
It was obviously not a serious question - Snape could certainly see that the reason for the visit was urgent and important. Still Harry answered him, "That's not why I'm here, Professor, but I prefer to believe that my children are rather well-behaved. Just as I was." Then he chuckled and conceeded, "All right, maybe more so than I was. But let's try to dispense with the insulting of each other's families, shall we? I'm afraid I'm at a disadvantage, never having met any of your relatives myself."
"Very well, I'll restrain myself. Now tell me, Mr. Potter, since you're not here to speak with me in my professional capacity, just what exactly do you want?" Although the words were polite, the tone was anything but. Harry began nervously to fidgit, and Snape waited patiently for him to answer.
I have to start somehow, thought Harry. "Ok, this is the hard part. Er...may I sit down?"
A sigh. "If it is absolutely unavoidable."
Harry settled himself into the chair in front of the desk and cleared his throat. "Well...actually...it's about that new Dark Circle thing that's cropped up... you've heard of it, right?"
Snape sat up a little straighter and seemed a little more alert. "Yes...I know about the Dark Circle," he said guardedly. "What of it?"
Despite all his efforts, Harry was looking more and more uncomfortable. "Well, I've had to...er...deal with... some of their more recent...erm...activities the last few weeks, with my work at the Ministry. Clean up after them, you might say. And it's not pretty."
Snape gestured impatiently for him to continue. "Yes, well?"
"Of course, we can't pin anything on anyone yet, but it looks like the core of the movement is made up of veteran Voldemort supporters. The same people, doing the same things. It's starting all over again."
Harry noticed Snape's jaw clench. "So?"
"I think something has to be done about them! Something drastic," he blurted out.
"You are the Ministry worker here, Potter. These imitation terrorists are your headache, not mine. What has this got to do with me?"
He sighed. "Nothing, really. It's only...well..." he hesitated. Then, trying to keep his tone casual and easy, Harry asked, "What if I told you I was thinking about trying to infiltrate this new order? Like you did with the Death Eaters." There, he'd said it.
Snape's eyes narrowed. "I won't even ask how you found out about that." Then he leaned forward and hissed, "But let me caution you, Potter. I've tried to treat you as an adult, but it seems as though you are still the rash and foolish boy I remember." He took a breath and continued, sounding even more dire than before. "I did not 'infiltrate' the Death Eaters - I joined them. We did things that wouldn't sit well with a squeamish conscience - or any conscience, for that matter. So if I were you, I would not even consider trying to infiltrating the Dark Circle...because it is dangerous and you are certainly not ready for what it would entail. You play with matches just by thinking such thoughts."
Harry bristled at that. "I'm not a child anymore, Snape. And I don't care about matches. I'm ready to play with flamethrowers, if it comes down to that."
"Oh? Are you?" Snape inquired sarcastically. He stood up and turned away for a minute, as though collecting himself. When he turned back around, he spoke in an icy whisper. Harry had to suppress the shivers that threatened to shake him as he heard, "Do you know what it means to live in fear, Potter? Do you? No. Of course not. But maybe you can imagine...
"Imagine the terror of going to sleep every night knowing that without warning you might be awoken by a masked mob, dragged out of bed, and slaughtered with no more mercy than you're accustomed to showing your own victims. Imagine bowing low each night before a wizard who would kill you...kill you, Potter...if he so much as suspected the deceit in your mind. Imagine living two lives, hiding your duplicity from everyone...the whole world. Every single living person is an enemy, there is no one on either side whom you can trust, and certainly no one from whom you can beg help if you're discovered.
"You fought a basilisk at school once, didn't you, Potter? I'll bet when you first saw it, there was a moment of absolute terror, when you stood helpless and unarmed as it closed in on you...deadly, evil, pitiless. Right? There was nowhere to go, no turning back. Remember that moment? Well, that moment would become your whole life, Potter. Can you even imagine such a life? I can. And I tell you, it is not a thing to idly contemplate on a Sunday afternoon.
"Do you understand me? I don't care if you think yourself an adult. I know that if you try this thing, you will die. I can't force you to obey me, of course, but I can repeat that I would not, under any circumstances, advise you to go on with such a mad scheme. I most certainly don't need the death of a young idealist on my conscience. Clear?"
Harry sat still for a moment, pale and thoughtful. Of all the emotions warring inside him after he heard the speech, the one that won out was anger. He clenched his teeth and tried to match Snape's own eerie hiss. "I'm learning."
"What?"
"I said, I'm learning," Harry shot back, rising to his feet. "You asked me if I knew what it was to live in fear. And you're right - I probably haven't as much experience in the field as you. But I'm learning quickly. I thank you for your concern for my life, but really, there's no need to try to scare me." He was still angry, but managed to get a handle on his pride enough to add, "I came here because I needed advice. Not bullying. You have to help me...please."
Snape regarded Harry silently for a long moment, then said quietly, "You've done it, haven't you." It was not a question. "You've already made contact with the Dark Circle, and now you're panicking because you realize what will happen if they turn on you. You want advice on how not to get caught. Advice from someone who knows. Yes?"
Harry gave a cold smile. "Something like that."
"You stupid boy... So what do you want me to tell you?" he asked bitterly. "How to grovel properly before your leader, so that he doesn't just kill you to give your friends some amusement?"
"Oh, it's not likely that the leader will kill me," Harry laughed. "You see, I've done you one better. I didn't just enlist under their leader...as of two nights ago, I am the new leader."
Snape arched his eyebrows. "I believe I misheard you, Potter," he said evenly, black eyes glittering.
"No you didn't. I tracked down one of their meetings, intending to sign up as a common member, but the fool who led them started off by bragging, 'If any wizard here thinks he can best me in a formal duel, come forward now.' He didn't look so tough... so I did."
"You idiot, idiot boy!" spat Snape. "Are you not yet through with the practice of seeking out the most powerful and evil sorcerers to duel with? You're a terrible duelist - I'm surprised you weren't killed!" He took a breath, then added grudgingly, "All right, tell me how you did it."
Harry drew himself up proudly. "Well, he pulled a nasty trick - tried to disarm me before we had officially started. I knew I didn't have time to block the spell, but I did summon a snake. I was going to set it on him in Parseltongue, but then it attacked him by itself. So I disarmed him, and then-" Harry stopped abruptly. He had been excitedly describing his quick thinking, but wasn't sure he wanted to talk about what came next. He managed to tear his gaze from Snape's creepy black eyes.
Even though Harry didn't finish his sentence, Snape understood... or thought he did. "You finished him then, Potter?" he asked softly.
"Finished...?" Harry's eyes widened. "No! I mean, I didn't kill him, I just...well, he was going to pick up his wand again, I had no choice..." he looked up and made eye contact squarely. "I cast the Cruciatus Curse to stop him. That's all. And then I let him live, and made a big show of being dangerous and merciful. I know how to read an audience - they liked it, I know they did."
Snape shook his head. "That whole duel was a terrible idea," he announced scornfully. "Didn't you realize that the best way to avoid detection was to stay rank-and-file, not distinguish yourself?"
Harry shrugged. "I didn't think of it at the time," he said regretfully.
"You didn't think of anything at the time! Fool! What if someone had recognized you?"
With another shrug, Harry drew his wand. "My face was covered and besides..." he touched his wand to his throat and murmured an incantation. When he spoke again, his voice had become deep and raspy. "I spoke like this the entire time."
The voice change didn't impress Snape, who only sneered, "Well, so you've done it...now what will you do?"
"Well, I was kind of hoping you would have some ideas," Harry admitted sheepishly, using his normal voice now. "I mean, you're probably the only wizard I know who has any inkling of how to behave under the circumstances..."
Snape fell heavily back into his seat, covering his face with his hands. "I still can't believe what you are telling me…" he muttered. Then, he heaved a sigh and folded his hands on his desk. "I don't think I can help you," he continued at last. "There is no way I'll make decisions for you that are likely to get you killed...much as the prospect may please me."
"But you did this and lived through it!"
"This may have escaped your notice, Mr. Potter, but you are not me. Besides, I had Dumbledore's help."
"Well I'll have yours! Please, Professor," Harry begged. "I'm not asking you to get me out of this mess... I know perfectly well I've already dug my own grave... but I just want to run my plans by you. You know more about this than anybody else... Tell me if it's got any chance of working... please?"
Snape ran his hands through his greasy black hair. "This is ridiculous. All right, Potter, I'll hear you out. Although, given the decisions you've already made, I expect anything further to be nothing short of lunacy."
"Thank you." Harry leaned back in his chair to get comfortable, and began to explain his plan for smashing the Dark Circle once and for all.
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Two hours later, the young man was finally finished. Snape had propped one elbow on the desk and was resting his head on his hand wearily, in a perfect pose of despondent exhaustion. "Is that all, Potter?" He had critiqued and modified almost every step of the agenda, and was at last satisfied with the results.
Potter nodded, equally tired. Seeing the determined yet rather desperate look on the boy's face, Snape felt a momentary flash of a sort of empathy. Oh, he knew that look. When Potter raised a hand distractedly, though, and ran it through his hair hurriedly with the air of a hunted animal, it was too much. "Stop that!" he snapped at his former pupil.
"Er..what? Why?"
Snape made a dismissive gesture and muttered, "Oh, nothing." What was he supposed to say..."Don't do that, you reminded me of me?" How cliche and awful!
His irritation found vent in a nasty smile. "All right. I suppose this little meeting has gone on long enough. You'd better head home - I'm sure you have plenty of tossing and turning to do tonight. Not much sleeping, of course..."
"Hmmm...now that you mention it...do you maybe have a sleeping potion I could take?"
Snape rolled his eyes. "Not content to do things the old-fashioned way, are we, Potter? You can't just take your insomnia quietly, like the rest of us troubled souls? Of course not," he mocked softly. "But don't worry - I'm sure I have something to keep the nightmares at bay. We wouldn't want The Famous Harry Potter to lose any shut-eye, would we? Here." He rummaged in his desk drawers and finally produced a little blue bottle. "I don't think I need to tell you not to take this until you're already in bed. It is potent and takes effect immediately...two or three drops should be fine."
"Thanks."
"Before you go, answer me one question...what brought on this fit of insanity?"
"Besides the death threats, you mean?" laughed Harry. "Because I've gotten plenty of those from these Dark Circle people...Matter of fact, I even sent myself one at our last meeting... So that's one reason, and also...I don't know... I kind of feel like I owe the world one. You know, it was my fault that Wormtail got away and helped Voldemort back to power... my blood that brought him back the second time around...my fault that Cedric Diggory died. Besides-" he looked away and sighed. "-it's for my kids, you know? I mean, considering what my parents did for me, to keep me safe, it's kind of the least I can do."
"How touching," Snape sneered. "And just as I thought. Owing the world one, indeed. Ridiculous! I've never heard such naive idiocy." He realized, a little too late, that his words lacked the spiteful, biting edge he would have liked to spike them with.
Apparently, Potter noticed too. Instead of getting unduly angry or upset, he merely shrugged and answered defiantly, "So? I'd rather be naive than mean all the time. You are genuinely unpleasant to be around, you know that?" He even had the nerve to laugh a little. "I've always wanted to say that to you, but I was always terrified."
Snape inclined his head as though accepting a compliment. "Well, now you've had your fun, Potter. One more thing, though. You say you took power over the Dark Circle two nights ago?" A nod confirmed this. "Then... you had nothing to do with the death threat I received? It came by owl over the weekend."
"No, that was before my time. They did mention that they'd been planning to do away with all the people who blocked the last advance of the Dark Order, but I'll squash that idea at the next gathering."
"Only if you can manage it without being conspicuous. It looks like the ones they're harrassing are mostly ex-Aurors and such, perfectly capable of defending themselves so long as they're not confronted with wizards of Voldemort's caliber... and you haven't got anybody remotely close to that. Worry more about Muggle slaughter. That's easy and fun and likely to run rampant among your new followers. Unless you know where to procure a lifetime supply of sleeping potions for yourself, you don't want to do or witness or even condone the torture of Muggles. Trust me."
Harry nodded soberly. "Yeah, I know. All right...Thanks for everything...I've got to get going now. My wife will worry."
"Ah, yes, your wife. You know, of course, that it is absolutely essential that the Dark Circle know nothing of her and she of them. Correct?"
"Certainly. I've no wish to put her at risk, or myself either. You're the only person I've told."
"Keep it that way. Good night, Potter." He rose.
"Night, Professor."
Snape shook hands, but did not trouble himself to see Potter to the door. A flick of his wand was enough to open it from where he stood, and he decided that that was all the courtesy he owed the idiot.
This idiot who had brought him back once more into a world of secret meetings and secret lives, and death hovering always just around the corner.
Avada Kedavra...Imperio...Crucio...these had never made Snape bat an eye. They still didn't. But foolish idealistic children, he thought, now that's another story. Now there is an unforgivable curse.
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Of course I couldn't resist involving my favorite Potions master in this story... What do you guys think so far? Please review, I've gotten almost no feedback and I don't even know if anybody is reading this.
Thanks for reading.