CHAPTER SIX: WHAT THE LIVING HECK IS THAT??

Shiiiiiinnneyyyy... no, must regain composure, for I..am..the..AUTHOR!! OK, everyone got out of their 'shiny' trance, and they are ready to figure out what those damn Itzakadoozies are!

Oh yes, and there's A WHOLE LOTTA SEYMOUR BASHING in this chapter, fans of Seymour be warned. This chapter is dedicated to BloodProphicy, who requested Seymour bashing in the first place. Hope ya all like it ~.^

Anywaaaay... here is the extremly long DISCLAIMER!:

The Final Fantasy characters, I do not own. Square owns them, those lucky SOBs..

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Dr. Matoki belongs to GeminiDeathStar

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG (vampirezombiegirl) belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

The new kid belongs to The Great Kaizer Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

chibilinnet, I dunno who really owns that, the name was made up by my friend, but I sorta made the character..

And I don't own Itzakadoozies (I did not make that up) and Cheerios.

OK! ON WITH THE FICCY:

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Vinnie: *is entranced by his own arm* Shhhiiinnneeyy..

Dr. Matoki: OK, OK, let's head to the Ice Cream section and get them.. Itzawhatevers..

Seymour: Hell no! I dun trust that screwy Itemdex™ thingy of yours!

Dr. Matoki: YOU DOUBT ME?? *glares at Seymour*

Seymour: *in monotone* No, of course not, great Dr. Matoki..

Dr. Matoki: Good. Now go smack yourself into a wall.

Seymour: *smacks himself into a wall*

BloodProphicy: HEHEHEHEEE! Lemme try! Seymour, jump off a cliff that has pointy rocks at the bottom!

Seymour: *runs to a cliff with pointy rocks on the bottom and jumps* SPLAT!

BloodProphicy: MWAHAHAHAAA! Now, hit yourself in the crotch!

Seymour: *hits himself where the sun don't shine* AAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!

BloodProphicy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!! Seymour, stand in the middle of the street jump-roping with your spinal cord!

Chibi-Auron: EEEEEWWW!!

G.S: Too much violence! *covers Chibi-Auron's eyes*

Seymour: *pulls out his spinal cord, walks to the middle of the street, and starts jump-roping, only to be run over by a 16-wheeler truck*

BloodProphicy: *Rolling on the floor laughing* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! STUPID SEYMOUR!!

Hellfire Guado: I take it he's not very fond of Seymour..

Seymour: Oh, what clued you in? The fact he shot me? Or how about taking advantage of my mind-controlled state?? HUH??

BloodProphicy: Oh, shut up! *shoots Seymour multiple times*

Seymour: Ow.

Vinnie: Ok, I think that's enough Seymour bashing...

BloodProphicy: You can never have too much Seymour bashing.. *smacks Seymour again*

Chibi-Auron: Mommy, is the violence over yet?

VZG: Nope! *starts poking Vinnie to death*

Vinnie: OW! OW! OW!

VZG: MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! :)

AngelKnight: OK, now it's over..

???: or IS it?

All: Hu?

Raven: Hewwo! *smiles and waves*

Corey: OMG, IT'S ANOTHER VINNIE!! *hides behind Bob*

Bob: ... (dumbass)

Raven: No! Me RAVEN!

Vinnie: Yeah, he has premature greyness!

Raven: .. *sniff* WAAAAAAAHHHH!!

VZG: Vinnie! You made the poor Chibi cry! *pokes Vinnie uncontrollably*

Vinnie: owowowowowowowowowowow....

Raven: *is about to blow Vinnie up, but for some reason it hits Seymour*

Seymour: PAIN! AGONY!

BloodProphicy: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Sephy: Stop messing with the story, Blood!

S.S: Yeah, no one can hate Seymour THAT bad..

Chibi-Auron: *who still has his eyes covered* Actually, one can, considering he is only playable once! Mommy, can I see now?

G.S: *removes hand from eyes* *glares at the others* NO VIOLENCE WHEN AURON IS AROUND!

Seymour: ... *pokes Vinnie*

G.S: KILL!! *hacks and slashes Seymour*

Seymour: X_x

BloodProphicy: YAY!

Hellfire Guado: .. so, are we gonna spend the whole chapter poking Vinnie and killing Seymour?

Corey: We still need to find those Itzakadoozies..

AngelKnight: I think it's a kind of video game..

Dr. Matoki: NO! The Itemdex™ never lies! It's a popsicle!

S.S: That's dumb!! Why would someone name a stupid popsicle Itzakadoozie??

Sephy: .. There's a sublinimal message inside.. I know it..

Raven: It sounds like a video game to me!

Chibi-Auron: I trust Raven! Chibi instinct, ya know!

Raven: Yep! ^_^

AngelKnight: Yeah, Chibis are always right. Let's listen to them.

Vinnie: Ok! *gets poked by VZG* Ow

VZG: Mwehehehehheeee! *huggles Sephy*

Sephy: ^_^

Corey: It sounds like a brand of clothing..

VZG: Yeah, I agree with Corey..

Corey: What do you think, Bob?

Bob: ...

Corey: BOB! *smacks the Cheerio box with his MACE OF ZEUS!* That was a dirty thing to say!

All: O_o

Hellfire Guado: OK.. Half of us will search the clothes area and YOU GUYS can search the electronics department, only for it to be in vain!

G.S: FINE!

*So Hellfire Guado, BloodProphicy, Sephy, Seymour, Corey and Bob, and VampireZombieGirl went to the pantries to search for the Itzakadoozies, while AngelKnight, Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy, Chibi-Auron, Raven and Vinnie went to the freezers. Dr. Matoki went to search the freezers, as we all know, the Itemdex™ never lies!*

*Meanwhile, somewhere in the entrance of Walmart*

Ark Dragon: *bangs on desk* HELLO?? Uhh.. *looks at store employees name tag* Umm.. Serge.. have you seen a weird group of people?

Serge: ...

Ark Dragon: Yeah, the leader is a kid with kitten ears and a tail, have ya seen em?

Serge: ...

Ark Dragon: Ask who?

Serge: ...

Ark Dragon: Crono? Oh, OK, I'll go..

*Ark Dragon walks over to another employee stacking Itzakadoozies in the freezer*

Ark Dragon: You Crono?

Crono: ...

Ark Dragon: Have you seen a weird group of people?

Crono: ..?

Ark Dragon: Yeah, they have Sephy triplets!

Crono: ...

Ark Dragon: Oh alright, I'll ask security..

*Ark Dragon walks over to the security booth, where Issac is sitting*

Ark Dragon: Can I look in your cameras?

Issac: ...

Ark Dragon: Hey, thanks! *takes a mint out of a nearby jar*

Issac: ...

Ark Dragon: But the mint looks so pretty.. how can I eat it?

Issac: !!!

Ark Dragon: Oh, yeah, that's them! Thanks Issac!

Issac: ...

Ark Dragon: Yeah, I wonder why chibilinnet won't make you guys talk either.

Issac: *shakes fist angrily at chibilinnet*

Chibilinnet: SOCIAL CONTACT! IT BURNS!! *starts rolling on the floor convulsing*

Ark Dragon: O_o... OK..

*by chibilinnet's last power, Ark Dragon is sent to the others before she completly snaps*

Raven: *shaking*ILIKEEGGSILIKEEGGSLIKEEGGS!!

Vinnie: *also shaking* ILIKESHINYSTUFFILIKESHINYSTUFFILIKESHINYSTUFF!!

Seymour: *bleeding in a corner* ... ow

Chibi-Auron: Yuuumm.. sugar.. O_O *disappears*

G.S: WWWHHHAAAAATT?? AURON! WHERE? WHAT? *freaks out*

Corey: Hey.. where did Auron go..?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* How strange..

S.S: Guys, this is serious, Chibi-Auron is the main character, and my sis is really freaking out..

*Golden-Sephy is looking in soda bottles screaming "AURRIE, WHERE DID YOU GO??"*

Dr. Matoki: *stares at G.S* CALM DOWN AND GO TO SLEEP!

G.S: *in a trance* ...zzzzz...

AngelKnight: What could cause this?

G.S: *wakes up* AURRIE!! I CAN'T SLEEP, HE'S MISSING!! *gets out Masamune and jumps on Schala* DON'T WORRY, AURRIE, MOMMY IS COMING!!

*G.S charges off-screen looking for Chibi-Auron*

Sephy: ... Wow.. I wished my mommy cared that much about me..

Vinnie: *stops shaking* LUCRECIA! WHY?? *starts shaking again* IlikeshinythingsIlikeshinythings..

BloodProphicy: *still kicking Seymour* Maybe it's something to do with the Author, ya know, she controls the fic..

Seymour: STOP THE PAIN!! STOP THE PAIN!!

BloodProphicy: *shoots Seymour again* Aw, shut up, this is fun!!

Hellfire Guado: YO! CHIBILINNET! WAS UP WITH AURON??

Ark Dragon: I am afraid she cannot hear you..MWAHAHAHAHAAAA *cough choke* HAHAHAHAHAAAA!

AngelKnight: Why not?

Ark Dragon: She is not writing this fic anymore..

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* HUH?? But who's writing the fic, I mean, we're still here!

*Somewhere in Lancaster, PA*

Kaz: Erm.. Kidd, is she awake yet??

Chibilinnet: no..more..people..

Kidd: OI!! SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP, KAZUYA, I'M TRYING TO WRITE THIS DAMNED FANFIC FOR LINNET!

Kaz: Oh, your so nice! How come everyone has to hate me??

Kidd: Cuz yer a dumbass. Now excuse me, I'm writing here! *clicks on save, but the screen doesn't move*

Kaz: .. I think it froze again..

Kidd: AAARRGGGHHHH!! UNFREEZE, YA STUPID COMPUTER, OR I'LL KICK YER ARSE SO HARD YA'LL KISS THE MOONS!

Kaz: Kidd, there's only one moon..

Kidd: Yer point, Mr. Everyone-hates-me Mishima??

Kaz: .. *bangs desk on table* Why did Linnet's mom drag her to that party??

Kidd: beats me, now shut up.. OMG KAZ, YOU MADE ME WRITE OUT OUR WHOLE CONVERSATION!! *grabs dagger* I'M GONNA KILL YA!

Kaz: *backs away nervously* C-calm down Kidd... AAAAHHHHHHH!!

Chibilinnet: *staring blankly at the celing* people..make..talk..scare..

**back to walmart**

Ark Dragon: .. um.. yeah.. *starts dancing around*

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Dr. Matoki, do ya know what's wrong with chibilinnet?

Dr. Matoki: It seems she has suffered from extreme social contact.. she went to a party and had to sleep over at her friends house and had to endure some other people in the morning.. both were not by choice..

Vinnie: GET TO THA POINT!

Dr. Matoki: AHEM! Anyway, it seems chibilinnet is in a comatose state and Kazuya and Kidd are forced to look after her and write the fanfic in the meantime..

S.S: That's all great and stuff, but where did Chibi-Auron and G.S go??

Dr. Matoki: *sighs* The main character cannot be present unless the author is writing! We must cure the author or Chibi-Auron will never be seen again! And Golden-Sephy is bound to be exploring the storyline until she finds him, which will be never!

Seymour: .. Wow, what a nerd..

Dr. Matoki: *kicks Seymour between the legs*

Seymour: AAAAHHHHHHH!!

Kidd: I always wanted to do that!!

Kaz: Kidd, stop writing us in the story!!

Kidd: Sorry, mate..

Kaz: M-mate?? Umm..

Kidd: OI, YOU DUMBASS, MATE MEANS FRIEND IN AUSTRALIA!!

Kaz: Speak proper English then, baka!

Kidd: ..the hell is that?

Kaz: .. nothing..

Raven: Uh, anyway, what can cure chibilinnet..?

Sephy: Linnet likes Chrono Cross lots!

All: ...

VZG: *pokes Vinnie and does a victory pose* WELL THEN, WE'LL HAVE TO SEEK OUT A CHRONO CROSS COPY AND SAVE LINNET!

All: YEAH!!

Seymour: .. ppaaaiinn..

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Oi! I hoped ya liked that, being the writer ain't so fun.. bugger, Kaz, quit hoggin the chair-ACK!!

YAY!! I'm on the computer! Now I can play all of chibilinnet's illegal ROMs.. hehehehe.. oops.

Nice going, dumbass, now she'a gonna get busted! I'VE HAD IT UP TA HERE WITH YA!

OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!! THAT WAS MY ARRRRRRRMMMMMM!!

social..contact..not..good...