CHAPTER ELEVEN: And the Chrono trigger-ish madness continues!

Hey, I've been wondering.. is this fic in the wrong section? I mean, it's not really based on FFX anymore.. but I never moved it simply because it'd be easier for you guys to find it. So whaddya think?

Anyway, now for the copy and pasted disclaimer!

The various Final Fantasy people also belong to Square

Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy

Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou (btw, cool picture!)

AngelKnight belongs to angelknight

Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar

BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy

Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12

VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)

Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow

Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon

DreamHuntress belongs to DreamHuntress

On with the fic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*The Playground of Dooom (yes, three Os)*=

Chibi-Auron: *goes up to one kid* Hiya!

Some kid: Hey! Welcome to the Playground of Dooom! remember..

*Some kid looks around nervously*

Some kid: ... don't go near the sandbox.. *walks away cackling madly*

Chibi-Auron: Wha..? Well, that's strange! Ooh! Plushies!

*Chibi-Auron walks over to a spot under the slide, where there are a few plushies walking around*

Tidus plushie: *is striking a cool pose*

Auron plushie: *grabs Masamune plushie*

Chibi-Auron: Hey, it's me!!

Yuna plushie: *goes to defend Tidus plushie, summons Anima plushie*

Anima plushie: *roar!*

Auron plushie: *whacks Anima plushie on the head with Masamune plushie*

Anima Plushie: *dies and turns into a bunch of pyre-fly plushies*

Yuna plushie: *summons Emerald Weapon plushie*

Emerald Weapon plushie: *does Aire Tam storm*

Auron plushie: *doesn't take any damage because he has no Materia equipped* WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE

Yuna plushie: *gives Auron plushie the middle finger*

Auron plushie: *Overdrives and kills everyone*

Chibi-Auron: *is bored, toddles away*

****

Hellfire Guado: What are we supposed to do?

G.S: We have to find out where the Monster Arena guy gets all his stuff, remember?

Hellfire Guado: How would these kids know??

G.S: Excuse me, little kid, but do you know the Monster Arena man from FFX?

Little kid: YEAH!

G.S: Do you know where he gets his stuff?

Little kid: A big-ass monster flies over and delivers the stuff to him! He calls the monster Valefor and it looks like an anorexic bird!!

Hellfire Guado: That was..erm.. informative

G.S: ... So it was Valefor all this time.. did Yuna know?

*Yuna strides in wearing Tomb Raider-esqe clothing and wielding dual pistols*

Yuna: WASSAP???

Hellfire Guado: You know what's really scary? It's true...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Shinra building*=

AngelKnight: *twitches* I hate math and science..

*Elevator stops, Scarlet gets on board*

Dr. Matoki: *makes puking motions*

Scarlet: *doesn't notice, too busy filing her nails*

DreamHuntress: *glares at Scarlet*

*This goes on for several minutes*

Scarlet: *gets off, Heidagger gets on*

Heidagger: GYA HA HA! Where are you pretty ladies going??

Dr. Matoki: *is fighting urge to puke*

DreamHuntress: 67th Floor..

Heidagger: Gonna work for that crackhead Hojo, huh? Gya ha ha, he always gets the pretty ladies.. wanna swing by my office??

AngelKnight: To put it bluntly, no way in ****ing hell.

Heidagger: Wha? You like HOJO compared to me?

Dr. Matoki: No. If you two were the last men on earth, we'd let the human race go extinct.

Heidagger: GYA HA HA! Such feisty beauties.. aw, all they ever care about are those damn bastards Rufus and Reno! ... and maybe Tseng..

AngelKnight: RENO! *melts in a puddle of fangirlness*

DreamHuntress: Oo; *un-puddlefies AngelKnight*

Dr. Matoki: (get off soon, get off soon, get off soon...)

Heidagger: Well, here's my stop! *gets off..

*... and Reno gets on*

Reno: Hey! You're them scientist chicks!

AngelKnight: *grins feverishly*

*Elevator runs out of power and stops*

Reno: ?

DreamHuntress: Should we.. hold her back? *points to AngelKnight, who is slowly advancing to the unsuspecting Reno*

Dr. Matoki: *shrugs*

Reno: Um.. hey babe? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Darkness of Time*=

Schala: TEA?? WHY THE HELL DO WE GOTTA DRINK GODDAMN TEA?? I WANT MAH BOOZE!

Lavos: Schala, please don't shout. The Darkness of Time stretches to infinity but our guests are right there.

Ark Dragon: *sips tea* hey, not bad..

Rufus: Now I know why Cid likes tea!

Raven: I'm scared

Lavos: So! .. Um, what brings you guys here?

Raven: We're supposed to be finding out where the FFX monster Arena guy gets his stuff.

Ark Dragon: You know, like all them Megalixers and stuff..

Rufus: *takes a long minute to process these in his dull, blond mind* ... I like tea.

Ark Dragon: Raven, are you SURE I can't kill him?

Raven: Yet

Schala: NEED..BOOZE!

Lavos: I know Schala would know but.. ergh.. she needs to be bribed.

Rufus: Booze is bad for you! Look what it did to my friend Reno!

*cut to the Shinra elevator, where Reno emerges on some random floor, face covered in lipstick marks*

Reno: SWEEEET! Hojo is soooo damn lucky..

*cut back to Darkness of Time*

Raven: I dunno, Reno seems smarter than you..

Rufus: THAT'S MEAN! *cries*

Ark Dragon: Can I kill him now?

Raven: As tempting as it is, no

Ark Dragon: OK.. lemme get some booze, and I'll get Schala to talk..

*Ark Dragon goes to the End of Time, and the others wait*

Schala: *stares at Rufus*

Rufus: *stares back*

Schala: ...

Rufus: ...

Schala: ...

Rufus: ...

Schala: *blink*

Rufus: I win!!

Raven: *twirls spear and imagines him poking Rufus with it*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Chibi-Demon Land*=

*Seymour gets dragged out by Akaji and Akazi*

Akaji: Where to next, sire?

Akazi: May I suggest.. we leave him in the hands of..

BloodProphicy: *grins* The La Raza?

Akazi: *cackles evilly* You read my mind?

Seymour: La Raza?

Akaji: Do not fear. We shall take you to the Meso-American Theme park.. the La Raza guard it.

Seymour: Theme park! Fun!

BloodProphicy: But first, you must eat..

Seymour: (Wow, Blood is actually being NICE to me! I wonder what changed..)

BloodProphicy: *snaps fingers and a tray of greasy, spicy, jalapeno filled food comes in*

Seymour: Yum! *eats*

*BloodProphicy, Akaji and Akazi grin*

Seymour: Yum! That's great and all.. but can I have something to drink?

BloodProphicy: Drink? I'm afraid we have no drinks here.

Seymour: WHAT??

BloodProphicy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

*Akaji stuffs more of the food down Seymour's throat, then Akazi takes him to the theme park, where he rides naseua-induscing rides*

Seymour: Need...drink....too....hot...

Akazi: *pours some water and gives it to Seymour*

Seymour: *drinks it, then spits it out* EEEEK! THIS WATER IS SO SPICY!

Akazi: But of course! It's Mexican tap water!

Seymour: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*Classroom of doom*=

Quistis's head: Blah Blah Blah, Aire Tam Storm, blah blah blah, 5 Materia, blah blah blah, 5555 damage, blah blah blah...

Sephy: Even in death she won't stop..

Corey: Stop the meaningless education..

Silver Sephy: I'm too young to die!

Quistis's head: Blah Blah Blah, Yu Yevon, blah blah blah, Reflect, blah blah blah Curaga bounces off, blah blah blah...

Silver Sephy: *Raises hand*

Quistis's Head: Yes?

Silver Sephy: Do you know where the Monster Arena guys gets his stuff?

Quistis's Head: Blah Blah Blah, Valefor, Blah Blah Blah, Secret building, blah blah blah, Lindblum, blah blah blah, Aerith, blah blah blah, evil!

Corey: ... Uh, yeah

Sephy: Yay! We actually got some information!

All three: *get up and decide to steal the Ragnorok*

Sephy: Stealing is wrong! *goes and grabs some sleeping kid's money*

Silver Sephy: ...

Corey: Ain't that.. disturbing?

All three: *go up to the Headmaster's office, where Squall is playing Final Fantasy 3 (not to be confused with Final Fantasy 6)*

Squall: DAMMIT! Stupid Jinn!

Corey: Um.. Mr. Squall?

Squall: What?

Corey: Can we borrow the Ragnorok?

Squall: Yeah sure.

Sephy: Wow. That's easier than I thought..

Squall: But first!

Silver Sephy: Thanks a lot, Sephy.

Squall: I need you to beat this boss for me!

All three: *shrug and play FF3 (again, not to be confused with FF6)*

*Three hours later*

All three: DAMN YOU, JINN, DAMN YOU!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=*NC-17 section of Fanfiction.net*=

Vinnie: Sooo.. how the heck are we gonna find anything here?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* We ask Chi-Su, of course!

Chi-Su: Check the reviews for this story.. *snicker*

Vinnie: OK!

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* NOOOOOOOO!!!

*Vinnie hops to the PG section of FFX and is getting closer to the reviews*

VZG: *tackles Vinnie, then pokes him** NEVER, I SAY! NEEEVVAAAARRR!!

*Both roll out of the reviews section and land in chibilinnet's profile*

chibilinnet: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! Oh, hiya guys!

Chi-Su: Hey! Author, good of you to put me in!

chibilinnet: *nods and goes back to playing FF3 (remember, it's not FF6)*

Vinnie: So uh.. how do we get out of here..?

chibilinnet: There's the door. You guys be careful, now, hear?

All three: *nod*

*Before they leave, Chi-Su scribbles something in chibilinnet's lookup*

Chi-Su: Mwahahahahahahahaha!!

Vinnie: Soo.. what was in the reviews section that I wasn't supposed to see?

VZG: *pokes Vinnie* I'll tell you later, now let's look for a fanfic that might explain how that guy gets his stuff!

*While VZG and Chi-Su searches, Vinnie is still reading that lemon about him and Yuffie*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[insert quippy author-remark here]